Cultivating Optimism in Daily Interactions

Ever wondered why it's so easy to get stuck in a cycle of negativity? Join me this week on The Mike Muldoon Podcast as I unravel the science behind our brain's negativity bias and discover how it shapes our daily interactions. I'll share personal stories from my own life, especially how my kids often focus on what went wrong in their day.  We'll tackle how shifting the way we frame questions can flip the script, paving the way for more genuine connections and uplifting conversations.

Instead of the typical "How are you feeling?" sub in "What was good about your day?" and see its transformative power. We'll discuss how this simple reframing encourages reflection on the positive, enhancing well-being and strengthening relationships. It's all about focusing on the good, no matter how small. Listen to how this practice can uplift not only your mood but also those around you, creating a ripple effect of positivity. Whether it's your kids, friends, or colleagues, learn how these small changes in conversation can lead to more meaningful and optimistic connections. Tune in, and let's spread some positivity together.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of the Mike Muldoon Podcast. Hope you're doing well, hope your week's going well. Yeah, it looks like hopefully winter will be ending soon, getting some warmer days ahead, looking forward to that. I'm sure I'm not the only one. So today I just want to touch into something. You know how we could spread a little more positivity in the world. Right, it just seems like a lot of things are going on, a lot of people are struggling and I think sometimes, you know, there are things that we do every day that we don't even realize that we're actually we're actually we're generating, believe it or not, a little bit more negativity. When is an opportunity for just a little bit more positivity? So, for instance, like you know, how often do you go up and you ask somebody like hey, how are you feeling? And we usually just met with like an automatic response, right, like oh, I'm good, you know, thank you, you know, regardless of how they're really truly feeling, right, it's just a common social convention and it can sometimes hinder really sort of genuine expression, right, because psychological research really reveals that humans possess a negativity bias, meaning we naturally focus more on negative experiences or emotions. So this bias can really just sort of influence how we process and recall emotional events, often giving more weight to the negative occurrences over the positive ones. I see this a lot of times with my own kids. Every day I try hey, how was school today? And it's usually the first thing they'll tell me is what went wrong. Oh, they didn't like the school lunch today, or this happened or that happened. It's never like oh, it was so amazing. Today, we got this awesome gift, whatever it would be. You know. Today we got this you know awesome gift, whatever it would be. You know.

Speaker 1: 1:24

Sometimes, though, I mean you know, there are cultural factors that play a significant role how individuals sort of express emotions. You know a lot of societies, especially in a casual or social settings, there's an expectation to maintain a positive demeanor, which can sort of lead to a neutral or positive responses, even when one might be experiencing negative emotions. But realistically, today, what I to talk about is how we can sort of coax more positivity out of people and set up more positive interactions. Right, because when you really understand these dynamics, we can appreciate the importance of fostering not only genuine connections but shifting our approach to questions that highlight the positive aspects of one day's life and how that can encourage more meaningful conversations when we're together and promote more of just like an optimistic outlook on life. When we meet somebody, when we meet our friends, when you, when you meet your children, whoever it is, you know we really shouldn't be asking them how are you feeling? But what we really should be asking is more positive inquiries, like asking questions like hey, what was good today about your day? See, when you ask people, hey, what was good, it just encourages individuals to sort of reflect on positive events, no matter how small they've been right. So I try to do this with my kids, but I do a little.

Speaker 1: 3:06

But when you practice the, you know, questioning about what is a positive thing, it really again gets them to sort of have to think about what is the really good thing. And what happens is when they have to reflect on positive events again, no matter how small it could be. You know, hey, I was the first one on the lunch line. I won in the race out in the park today. Or, you know, I had a great phone call with my boss, whatever it is. You know, I had a great phone call with my boss, whatever it is. This practice can really enhance well-being and it can really strengthen you know again relationships. Because a lot of times, how many times you meet with somebody and they start talking and immediately it just becomes a drag, right, how are you feeling? And they just go into a whole list of stuff and you're like I'm just going to shut down here. I'm totally just going to shut down here. But the thing is, when we focus on the positive, that discussing positive events not only improves our mood and self-esteem but it improves the mood for both parties involved. Think about how often have you kind of met somebody and they did say, hey, how was your day? Oh, my dude, it was great, it was amazing. I had a great call with my boss, or I really surprised my wife, or my significant other, or hey, I've been working out. I just realized I lost 15 pounds, whatever it is. I mean that really sparks a conversation, because it very, very rarely is it met afterwards with oh well, let me tell you how bad my day is. So the benefits are really focused on the positive Again. Besides, it enhances the well-being again, directing attention to positive experiences, which increases happiness, and again, when you're happier, it reduces stress.

Speaker 1: 4:27

Positive psychology, really the interventions, you know again, such as like, what's it like? Gratitude journaling, right, when you focus on what you're happy about, what you're positive about, right, Even if you're doing this to yourself, you know, when you focus on positive things, it's shown to promote optimism in your life and improve overall well-being. And again, when you're meeting with people if you're not the Debbie Downer here, you know how are you feeling? Oh God, it was terrible. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just when you're, when you're more positive about things and you, and again, if you have somebody who, every time you ask how they're doing they're, they're going to this diatribe about what, how bad everything was you might want to just start asking well, hey man, what's so great about your day today? Because, again, when you engage in conversations and these positive conversations, they just foster more deeper connections and just a mutual understanding.

Speaker 1: 5:17

Because being in a positive conversations helps individuals, more often than not, reduce anxiety, find a common ground, take positive action in the face of uncertainty If they're, if they feel like maybe they're struggling through something. You know, regularly, focusing on positive aspects of things helps us refrain negative thought patterns, leading to more optimistic outlooks. Look, I'm guilty of this sometimes. I mean, I'm a bit of an overthinker, so I have to work on this and I realize sometimes, you know, I'll get into patterns that really sort of affect me emotionally and then physically, right, you start feeling it right Because thoughts, emotions, actions result. So the thoughts are negative thought patterns, my actions are a little bit panicky, you know. My emotions aren't feeling very good, you know nervous and anxiety and my results are I could be a hot mess a little bit, you know. Now, throughout the years I've gotten better with it. But again, when we focus on positive aspects and we reframe things, those negative thought patterns lead to more of an optimistic outlook, as I said.

Speaker 1: 6:18

So asking open-ended questions encourages just individuals to share more about their experiences, you know, promote more of that deeper engagement and understanding and, again, just makes the whole interaction so much better. When you're around somebody, you know again, if you have that person who's constantly just, you know you love them but they're draining. Don't ask them how they're feeling because you already know how it's going to be. You know, start the conversation with positive questions, you know. If it's a family member, ask them to share something good about their day. Again, sets up a constructive tone and encourages them to recognize and appreciate positive experiences. You know, encourage gratitude practices. If somebody needs, you know, to kind of get out of this rut, Maybe it's just you. Maybe, if you know you feel like you're the one that's always.

Speaker 1: 6:59

You know, starting on your bad day, maybe just take a few moments a day and think about the things that are good, because this will practice, will help shift the focus from a negative aspects of life to positive ones, enhancing your overall happiness and, ultimately, your optimism in life. And again, when you demonstrate positive inquiries in your interaction, you're basically showing others how to naturally incorporate this approach into their own daily lives. So these are some of the things you might wanna do Again just today. See one of your friends, see somebody, ask them how they're doing right, just how you're doing and just see where it falls. Does it fall on the positive side? Does it fall on the negative side? Does it fall on the positive side? Does it fall on the negative side? Does it just kind of fall on that neutral?

Speaker 1: 7:52

And then maybe ask somebody when you randomly run into them hey, what's been great about your day today? Might throw good about our day. It's not only going to uplift our spirits, but it's also going to empower us to sort of navigate challenges with a more optimistic perspective in life. So that's what I got for you today. I want you to take that out in the world. It's going to be really interesting. Just the first person who you come up to and you see, just don't say how are you feeling, how are you doing, just hey, what's been great about your day? Now, first they might stop and look at you. That's kind of an odd question. But when they take a moment and they think about it and they come back to you, I guarantee you'll see a little bit of that shift, just a little bit of shift in their demeanor. And that's what we're talking about here.

Speaker 1: 8:30

We got to focus on the positivity. I'm not saying there's never negative situations and I'm not saying you're not allowed to feel bad. I've talked about this on podcasts in the past. A little negativity in your life is not bad. You cannot eliminate negativity from your life, because negativity tells us what we don't want. And anybody that tells you oh, I'm just super positive, I only focus on the positive. They're not even living in a human existence, because there is always yin and there's yang. There's positivity, there's negativities. Negativity is okay. You just can't exist in it, you can't live in it. We really want to focus on more positive outcomes.

Speaker 1: 9:00

My book dropped this week, so I'd love if you go there. It's actually on Amazon. Five basic keys to living successfully. In between, like I always say, there's life and there's death, but it's the in between that really matters. Again, these five basic keys might seem obvious, but sometimes we forget about them. So, yeah, please, I'd love your support. You can get the book on Amazon, share it with your friends, share it with your family. It's an easy read. I think you'd probably get through it in one sitting if you decided to do it. So I really would appreciate your support there Again. Your likes, your comments on the podcast, your reviews all that stuff really helps out.

Speaker 1: 9:31

I think we're at 127 straight episodes. I've got some good things boiling as well. Hopefully I can start talking about in the next few weeks. Like I've always said about this podcast, I don't, you know, I'm not somebody who pretends that I've got it all figured out. I'm somebody who's kind of right there with you. But I do talk about life and the importance of living it. It's not just about existing in it. So hopefully some updates in the near future, I so, hopefully, some updates in the near future. I can start talking about some things, some new adventures, hopefully. And other than that, I wish you the best and, as always, be safe this weekend, have a great week and I got nothing but love for you. We'll see you next time.