Authenticity Over Approval for a Fulfilling Life

Ever felt shackled by the opinions of others, worrying incessantly about whether you’re being liked or respected? I’ve been there, we have all bee ther, and it’s a slippery slope. This episode of the Mike Muldoon Podcast confronts one of the most pervasive illusions: the belief that we can control how others perceive us. Let’s unravel this tangled web together, understanding how relinquishing this false sense of control can actually empower us to live more authentically and with greater self-acceptance. By focusing on our own actions and reactions rather than external validation, we can finally break free from the exhausting pursuit of approval.

Join me as we redefine what it means to be truly confident and fulfilled. Learn how to prioritize authenticity over people-pleasing, and build relationships grounded in mutual respect rather than fear. It’s time to abandon the herd mentality, embracing the liberating role of a "lion" in your own life. 

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey all and welcome to this week's episode of the Michael Dune Podcast. Thank you so much for joining me. Hope you're having a great week. Getting a little warmer every day, spring is getting a little bit closer, which is really nice. It's really nice to actually start feeling the warmer weather, though it's a little ironic that it's getting a little bit warmer here, but it snowed where I came from recently, which is really really really bizarre.

Speaker 1: 0:25

Anyway, look, I just want to talk to you with something. I just I talk about this quite a bit in the past and I just feel like it just it's just always worth kind of revisiting, because I do think it's one of the biggest challenges that people really suffer from. And what I want to talk about today is really how you cannot just control how others feel about you, and that it's okay. You know, and again I've touched on this before, but again it's just it's just always a worthy reminder, right? Like if you're somebody. Have you ever found yourself obsessing over how someone perceives you, or maybe a coworker or a friend or even a stranger, and you're just concerned about you know, maybe being left out or not included? The thing is, we all want to be liked. We all want to be respected, we all want to be understood, but the hard truth is you have no control over how others think, feel or make decisions about you. It's a complete illusion, and that's what I want to talk about today Again, like I said, I've talked about this before and even dedicated a whole section to it in my new book that just got released Five Basic Keys to Living Successfully in Between and in my book I talk about this need to be a lamb, to go about life on your own terms, without being weighed down by others' opinions.

Speaker 1: 1:57

But let's be honest, that's easier said than done for most, right? So we often just aim to please again because we want to be accepted. We want to be liked, right, so we often just aim to please again because we want to be accepted. We want to be liked, and it's easy to believe that if we say the right thing, act the right way or try hard enough, we can influence how others see us. But the reality is people view the world through their own experiences, their own biases, their own emotions, things you have no control over. You could be the most generous, thoughtful person in the room and someone still might find the reason to dislike you, not because of anything you did, but because of what's going on in their own mind. So that's why it's really important to understand why we try and fail to control perception because, again, it's out of our control.

Speaker 1: 2:41

Our need for control usually just stems from a fear of rejection in these situations or a desire for validation. We think if they like me, then I must be worthy. But hinging our self worth on external approval as I've talked about in my book quite often, it's exhausting and, to be honest with you, it's impossible to sustain. No matter how much effort you put into it, you'll never be able to control how someone interprets your words, the stories they tell themselves about you, their emotions and insecurities and the choices they make. So that's why it's just important that you have to let go of the need to be liked and think about what really happens when we stop trying to control how others feel about us.

Speaker 1: 3:24

As I've talked about in my book, when you decide to become a lion, getting away from the lamb, the herd mentality and a willingness to go about it your own and be comfortable with yourself, you gain freedom. So the thing is, when you accept that people's opinions of you are beyond your control. You stop overthinking every interaction. You'll feel more confident in your decisions. You prioritize authenticity over people pleasing. You build relationships based on mutual respect, not on fear.

Speaker 1: 3:54

The truth is not everyone is going to like you, and that's okay. What matters most is that you like yourself. That's the important part. So, in anything, when you're out there interacting in the world, just focus on what you can control Instead of worrying about what others and how they see you. Focus on what you can control, such as things like your actions. You know show up as your best self, but don't bend over backwards for approval. You know you can focus on your reactions. Let go of negative opinions that don't serve you. You could focus on setting boundaries. Protect your energy from those who drain it and, most importantly, just your self-worth. Define yourself based on your values, not others' validations.

Speaker 1: 4:33

And again, when you feel good about yourself, when you're comfortable in yourself and you understand that there's nothing you can do again to control other people's perception about you, it's just liberating the chances are you're probably a very good person. You know, at the end of the day, the way people think about you is their business, it's not yours. So when you stop trying to control how others feel, you gain something even better Peace of mind. So as you move out in that world, just keep in mind you're probably good enough already, right the thing. Mind you're probably good enough already, right the thing is you're probably doing just fine and if something isn't right, you'll feel it innately about yourself, right? That's where it should come from If you're not feeling right about you, not about how other people are perceiving you, their interactions with you, their decisions, their responses toward you. But when you feel inside, then you'll know you have something to work on for yourself and it might be the fact that you hate, the fact that you're trying to people-please everybody. You'll know when you're not happy and you won't need someone else to decide that for you. It'll be stuff that you want to work on.

Speaker 1: 5:35

So I guess, as always, probably one of the biggest themes of my podcast and, of course, course, of the book, is live your life authentically, just love yourself fully and remember the only thing that really truly matters is the value of your own. Just be you. You can't control anything else and let that noise and that nonsense and obsessiveness or the anxiety or anything that might create from these situations where you feel like you're trying to be liked, go away and just move on with the world, these situations where you feel like you're trying to be liked, go away and just move on with the world Because, like I said, you're probably just fine. All right, everybody, I hope that gives you a little bit more of an insight of how to just improve your life a little bit, especially if you're struggling with this. And, as always, thanks for being with me. Have a great weekend, be safe and, as always, I got another blow up for you. We'll see you next time.