Self-Care or Slow Fade? Recognizing When You're Checking Out

Have you been quietly stepping back from your own life? The phenomenon of "quiet quitting" has evolved beyond workplace boundaries into something more pervasive and potentially harmful. I'm exploring what I call "Quiet Quitting 2.0" – the subtle ways we disengage not just from our jobs, but from friendships, hobbies, and personal growth while convincing ourselves it's just self-care.

The world has thrown countless challenges our way – economic uncertainty, technological disruption, social upheaval – making retreat feel like the safest option. But there's a critical distinction we need to recognize: are we truly protecting our mental health, or simply avoiding life's challenges? True self-care recharges you for tomorrow's engagement; avoidance just helps you escape facing tomorrow altogether. One creates space for renewal; the other slowly shrinks your life.

Drawing from personal experience opening a bagel shop with zero café experience (yes, it's been terrifying!), I share practical ways to recognize when you've crossed from healthy boundary-setting into harmful disengagement. You'll learn how to identify whether your reduced effort is temporary or has become a permanent lowering of your life expectations, and simple strategies to re-engage one step at a time. Because while our minds and bodies naturally seek the path of least resistance, true fulfillment comes from intentional engagement – even when it's uncomfortable. Safety without engagement leads to stagnation, which feels remarkably like burnout, just in slow motion. Join me to explore this balance between protection and participation, between merely existing and truly living.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Podcast Introduction and Life Update
• 0:56 Understanding Quiet Quitting 2.0
• 2:12 Self-Care vs. Avoidance
• 4:51 Reengaging with Life
• 5:51 Final Thoughts and Sign-off

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of the Michael Muldoon Podcast. Hope you're doing well. Yep, I'm back. I know I'm trying to be as consistent as I can. I'm still beating myself up because for years, every week, I was there.

Speaker 1: 0:10

But I got crazy busy because my wife and I decided to try something neither one of us has ever done. You probably heard me talk about this. We opened up a bagel shop coffee bagel shop here in town where we moved to in England. Doing really well, it's busy, but it's a lot because we've never done it before. We have never done. I never even worked in a cafe before. I never made coffee before, nothing. My wife is a lawyer. I spend most of my time writing and some other stuff, but never have I worked in a cafe or anything. So it's been insanely busy and a great learning experience.

Speaker 1: 0:37

Often that fear rises, but you know what. You just keep pushing through. You keep believing and you keep pushing through because life's about living, not just existing. But anyway, I want to talk about something today. What I kind of look at is what is called quiet, quitting, like maybe the 2.0 version, but nowadays this is really about self-care or just about avoidance. Right Over the past few years, that term quiet quitting we've all heard became like a buzzword, a way of describing employees doing the bare minimum at work without actually resigning.

Speaker 1: 1:04

You know, some held that as a rebellion against you know burnout culture. Others saw it as a disengagement dressed up in self-care clothing, so to speak. But lately, just like, a new version has emerged, and what I'm really looking at calling the quiet quitting 2.0, because it's less about making a statement and more about quietly fading away inside your own life. You know, you might still show up, and again, it's not just work, right, you still might show up to the office or to your relationships or even to personal goals, but you're only halfway there. And you know, here's the big question I would ask you is this protecting your mental health or are you just avoiding life altogether?

Speaker 1: 2:11

See, the original wave of quiet quitting was basically sparked by overwork, burnout and the realization that loyalty to a company doesn't always equal loyalty in return. But the new wave has sort of shifted. Now it's not just about the workplace, it's about everything. People are lowering their emotional investment in friendships. But the new wave has sort of shifted. Now it's not just about the workplace, it's about everything. People are lowering their emotional investment in friendships, hobbies, even self-improvement, because they feel tired, skeptical or like it's just not worth it. And it's understandable. The world's been throwing curveballs at us Economic uncertainty, nonstop news alerts, ai, changing job security, rising living costs, pulling back and feel like the only safe move.

Speaker 1: 2:48

But the tricky thing is that pulling back and setting boundaries can be healthy until it quietly turns into checking out right Again. So this is that difference between self care versus avoidance. So I would ask you whatever you're doing, is it recharging you? Because if it's self care, then taking evenings to rest so you have energy to engage you, whatever you're doing, is it recharging you Because if it's self-care, then taking evenings to rest so you have energy to engage tomorrow, that's fine or is avoidance, taking evenings to scroll endlessly because you don't want to face tomorrow? Whatever you're doing, does it have intention? Are you choosing what you will do to restore balance A walk call with a friend, journaling, doing something that is self-care? Or are you just choosing only what you won't do, without replacing it with anything nourishing? You're just deciding to do nothing, which is again avoidance and kind of what else? Are you doing something that's temporary or is it permanent, like self-care.

Speaker 1: 3:35

A lot of times, pulling back during stressful you know, during stressful things or a stressful season or a stressful obstacle, whatever you're facing, you know, is okay if you know you're going to re-engage. But if you're permanently lowering your effort because you've decided it's easier to expect less from yourself in life, well then that's avoidance. So if you suspect that right now you've drifted from sort of healthy boundaries with yourself into like a quiet quitting your own life, you got to correct that course and the way to do it. You got to really ask yourself am I protecting myself from burnout or am I protecting myself from disappointment? Because they require different solutions. You know, instead of going from zero to 100, you know, choose one area where you can lean in again. Right, you know, add one thing back in a work project you actually care about. A social invitation that you accept, a personal goal you start. Don't worry about hitting everything, Just do one thing. See, you have to redefine effort, because effort doesn't have to mean overextending, it just means showing up Present, where you've been chosen to be, rather than trying to be everywhere and just create a future.

Speaker 1: 4:41

You check in. Imagine yourself six months from now. Will you thank yourself for this sort of level of engagement you're doing with yourself played bigger. But again, we really need to check this. So, again, as I've often talked about the body, the mind, it'll always take the path of least resistance and sometimes it'll convince us no, this is the right path, this is the right journey. So me, by avoiding doing everything is doing right because I'm feeling so much better, but realistically it's leading you somewhere where it's not going to help you in the long run.

Speaker 1: 5:07

Okay, so quiet, quitting. You know this version. It's seductive because it promises safety. Again, mind, body, everything, path of least resistance. Keep me in the comfort zone, don't create any uncertainty, don't create any fear, don't create any discomfort. But safety without engagement leads to stagnation and stagnation feels a lot like burnout in slow motion. So create healthy boundaries, protect your energy. You know avoidance will shrink your life. The key is to notice when you're, you know when one is quietly morphed into the other, and then to take a small, intentional step back into the game before you have completely checked out and it's almost impossible to get out of.

Speaker 1: 5:51

Okay, and that's what I have for you today. That's what I have for you today, right, so keep focusing. A lot going on. I mean, I tell you I don't even try to look at the news, social media anything anymore because it's just depressing and sometimes you wonder is it really depressing or just because they got to grab your headlines that are going to tell you the most horrible thing in the world and realistically, maybe it's not that bad Anyway, so listen, as always. I thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for tuning in. I appreciate you being here Again. Those Apple likes, those shares, share with your friend, whatever. Hopefully this is helping you. Maybe it'll help somebody else. I appreciate it. We're going into the weekend and, as always, be safe and I got another love for you. We'll see you next time.