3 tips to start the new year loving your job again !

I'm back! In today's episode I am going to tell you 3 key tips you need to start doing NOW to begin 2023 loving your job again!

 In this episode we discuss how: 

• Why you always drop that "Holiday Glow" back at work
• Why no matter how many holidays you take you still hate your job
• Unhelpful patterns (you can't even see!) that keep you stuck
• My top 3 tips to do TODAY to set yourself up for 2023

Show notes and the transcript can be found here: https://michellekevill.com/podcast

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⚠️ Disclaimer:   This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or psychological advice. Any stories, examples, or scenarios discussed are illustrative and may be composites or anonymised accounts. They do not refer to any specific individual, client, workplace, or organisation. 

Transcript

 00:00

Hello, everyone, I hope you're well. And if not, I got you at least you are here. My name is Michelle Kevill. And I help high achieving corporate women feel passionate about their job again. Welcome to 2023. Hi, everyone. We're starting off the new year. Well, I'm recording this in December. But I'm, I'm imagining that you meaningless in January, it's the new year, we're ready, we are set to go, you're set to start 2023 loving our fucking jobs again, that's why you're here. That's why you were listening to this podcast. It's been a big year of growth for me as well both prefer like in all areas of my life. And it's exciting, because it'll almost be a year until I am getting married in 2024. And being the prepared planner that I am, most things already sorted, I still have a year to go because I didn't want to stress. Who are all my infectious out that that love a good chunk of meaty time I got engaged a year ago, I was like, I'm planning this in over two years. It'll be great. I can just plan it at my own pace. I can go with the flow. I can book things out in advance I had like every company that was, you know, calling for venues and stuff are like, Oh, it's like two years away. That's like so long. And I'm like, Yep, there's a reason for that. All right, what am I talking about today, I'm just so excited guys, it's just, I'm going to tell you three things you need to start doing to make your 2023 the year that you love your fucking job, we're going to touch a little bit on New Year's resolutions, and why fucking hate them. I think it's stupid. But three key things that you're going to need to do. Okay, and as always, just start with the story. All right now think about it, I have no doubt that you have just come back from a lovely break. You've had some time off, you've been spending the holidays with your family, you've done some really, you know, just relaxing things, whether it's just being at home with your kids, or your dog and partner, or going out to the beach or buying over people where it's cold. I don't know hiking in the snow, stuff like that you've just been having, like, it's nice. It's like it's time to yourself. It's time where everything slows down a little bit. And the pace doesn't seem as quick. And it doesn't feel as like there's so much pressure, if you're really relaxed, and you're not super worried about going back to work. If anything, because of the break, you've had you kind of forgotten about your work. You're like, oh, well work that thing. Oh, you've kind of forgotten all the projects. What I always do is I actually have like a little like calendar note and I write all the things that I'm like, remember this because every year I've come back and I've just been like, Oh, that's right, we had like all these projects that we were working on. So you're coming in just like with this fresh energy, it's like you have properly severed yourself from work. You are genuinely feeling refreshed, and you're not too worried about going into work. And then you go back and it starts off slowly. And then all of a sudden, couple days even it starts to ramp up. It starts with you see your inbox. It has so many emails, and you are so confused, because you're like, did anyone take a break? For the holiday? Like, why do I have this many emails? It's ridiculous. You start getting invites to meetings that you have a little not too much context on or you're like, oh, yeah, there's that project, we need to do that thing on it. Oh, and then it's almost like it just keeps going. You start getting messages from people, there are people who will just be in it. It's like they haven't turned off is always how I see it. And they're just they're all in it. They're all prepared. They're all plan. They're all like where's is that etc. And you're still kind of being like, Well, where am I with everything right now. And it starts again, that you know, relaxed, nice holiday glow, that your heart just starts to dissipate pretty quickly. It's almost like it was never there. And we're back at it again. You it's like the holiday never fucking happened. You're just back to this underlying sense of anxiety and pressure and having to remember everything and being like, Oh, yep, there's that thing or that project. I've got to do this. I've got to speak to that person. And you just sit there like this again? This is gonna be my life, right? This is just, this is what it is. And everyone else goes through this. And you probably hear comments and like a meeting, like, some of you might still be work from home. But you know, you have that five minute chat and it's like, you know, yeah, it's like, I'm back at it. It's like it's logo, Nova lift, like, all that type of stuff starts coming back. The problem is we normalize that feeling a lot. But really, it's not okay to be having a constant sense of almost will dread on Sundays, but it I call it like a low level anxiety. Just throughout the day. Away, I've explained it before, it's like you're holding your butt cheeks in a little bit. You're only holding it lightly. But what happens is on Friday, you just get so exhausted, you're like, Oh my God, because your brain is like, I can relax now. You've got all these things to do, and you're always mentally aware. The problem is, you probably think like, I just, you know, I need another holiday. But you've just, you've had a fucking holiday. Like, no amount. Why does this keep happening? That is what I tell people when they tell me that. If it's you need another holiday, your holiday wasn't long enough, or I just needed to go overseas, because you know, Christmas didn't go or I just need to do something way more fun to feel better. Why does it like seriously, how many times have you done that, and you've come back and the same thing happens. It's almost like it has nothing to do with the holiday. And all to do with how you're showing up what you're thinking and feeling when you are at work. Because it's when you're in that environment. That's when all this drama and shit happens. You know, it really pisses me off, I feel just about society in general, just like this is me coming on the other side, right? The servers resolutions that you will always given when it comes to stress at work, I think like a thorough walk and don't take it too seriously. And like go on a nice holiday. These are like external things. No one is ever sitting there thinking, hey, this is why you're actually feeling this way. And how to resolve it. No one's telling you how to resolve it from the inside. No one gives you shit to resolve it from the inside. I know this firsthand, because this was my whole life. And I just thought there was something wrong with me. So I'm like, Well, I'm taking these holidays, and I'm trying to not take it seriously. And I'm still stressing the fuck out. And having all these issues like there's that saying, you know, the voices from inside the house. I don't know the exact saying. But that's literally what this is here. What you really need to be doing to prepare yourself for 2023 is really working on your fucking mindset. And I know some of you are listening to this, and probably want to drop off and pause when I just said mindset. I know, can you just wait for like two minutes? Two fucking minutes this could change your life because I did the exact same thing you did. And I probably should have kept listening. When I heard this. A few years ago before I found this work. When you hear mindset, you are probably thinking like you've heard all this kind of fluffy stuff, like just think positive thoughts and like, practice in the mirror. Like I love my job. And I love myself like, and it's just so fucking patronizing. Like, I hate that shit. I hated. You know, at work. Sometimes they do those little things. And they'll be talking about mindset and stuff like that. That's the stuff that the type of stuff I used to hear all the time and it like actually did the opposite and just my job even more, it's like, shut the fuck up, like give us more resources and stuff like that. Don't tell me to just be like, I'm okay with the massive to do this day have in the multiple deadlines. Like, don't just like it felt like such a trap. Like just, uh, you know, you're supposed to be happy with all the shit happening around you. That is not what I'm telling you. That is not what this is. That is not what I say. When I say mindset. That is such a high level view of it as well that they just do not touch on the real stuff of mindset. Okay, what do I fucking mean? When I say it has to be your mindset, how you are subconsciously talking to yourself

09:17

and about work throughout the day. Whether that's you fail on a project and subconsciously, you're telling yourself that you're a failure, you suck, whatever, whether that's not being able to say no to an extra project, because you just feel compelled to say yes. And you have no idea why and you've probably never even gotten to a point where you've said, Huh, why do I say yes to all these projects? Like you very likely believe that you have to you have to say yes, but have you ever stopped and examined? Why you really feel the need to do that? Ask yourself this way. Why do you say why can some people say no, but you just keep having to say yes, see what your brain comes up with? It's probably going to give you stuff like well, I work really Ha, they don't, etc. But is that really true? Like, could it be your brain is trying to protect you from something deeper? That's what I mean by mindset work. It's literally going the voices inside the house, I mean, you're going down to the fucking basement, and you are facing some really deep thoughts about yourself that you had no idea existed, like you are thinking you have to do this, this is the job, I have to work like this. This is life, like everyone comes back from leave and then ends up hating their job. Like that's how it's supposed to be. You are never been curious as to why and where you learn some of this shift from? Like, why do I feel like I can't say no, like, why? Hmm, I've been doing that my whole life, I've been doing that. Like when I was a student, I've been doing that as a kid, you get really curious about that type of stuff, you start to see that you have these unhelpful patterns that you've built up through your whole life that you are carrying with you, your brain is telling you. No, it is this other thing. And it's doing that for a reason. Because it doesn't know any other way of how to exist in this world. It thinks that this painful way of saying yes to all these projects, and doing all these things, is the only way to act. And we'll blame something external. And it will keep you in that miserable state because it thinks it's safe. There is another way, there is such another way to go about this. So I hope you're able to stop for like at least two minutes before you at least trot off. Because I'm telling you right now, I wish mindset was explained to me this way, then I'd be like, Oh, shit, that makes sense. Okay, it's the same with this. And this is why I do what I do. And I share the podcast because it's very hard for you to get out of this kind of thought era that you have right now. I'm going to give you an example. And I will be giving you these three tips as well. I just am setting the scene guys. I remember a couple of years when I had started like a new job, I remember, it was at the height of the pandemic and a manager and like senior managers got all of us together. And she just blatantly said, guys, you're not children, you need to tell us when you're at capacity. And like what you need, like, we're not your fucking parents. She didn't say it like that. But you know, like, the impression I was getting is you guys need to communicate to us. And I remember sitting there being like, holy shit, like I felt. So at the time attacked, because it was so interesting. Looking back at it now. My brain was like, How could you say that? Like, oh, my god, like no, like we have so much to do. It's so interesting. I was getting given permission to tell people when I'm at capacity, and yet my brain was still like, No, you can't do that. She doesn't know what she's talking about, etc. Because it didn't want to let go of its people pleasing tendencies. It didn't want to let go of doing all the work so that I could buffer away from my emotions and not have to deal with my grandfather passing away. It made me believe something that wasn't true. It made me not see that as truth because it wanted to stay stuck. It wanted to stay in there. And I couldn't see outside myself. This is the problem. This is where so many people fuck up. And this is why I'm a life coach. Because you can't see your own brain. I come into your brain. And I'm telling you, the voice is inside the house. And this is what the voice is, and this is what it's doing in your life. And then I'm training you to do that for yourself whenever it pops up in any area of your life. Because it can be so hard at the start to just sit there and really look at yourself and be like, actually, this person gave me permission to do something. And yet, I'm still truly believing that I can't do the thing. Why? Why is that? And like really getting curious about it. Your brain really wants to keep you stuck. Some of you might be like but why? Because it's all fucking nose. All right, you learn all this shit. When you're a kid. It's been reinforced by society. You keep playing it out in your own life. Yes, it's really painful, but your body doesn't care because it keeps you fucking safe. It keeps you safe, it keeps you alive. This is the way it wants to operate. And what I'm doing is you like lighting a fire with like, I don't know, kindling or something like smashing two sticks together and I'm coming here with like a match stick. And like here, this is like a much better way but you don't trust it yet, which I understand. I didn't trust it either. At first, you're like, dude, this way works fine for me. This way is great. And eventually once you catch on, and she's out listening to this stuff once you start kind of changing it a little bit you're like oh shit matches. fucking fantastic. Why have I never used this before. This is amazing. And that is why I do what I do. I just wait can be so strike hard at the start. This is why I have this podcast because I kind of want to introduce you to concepts. This is what I do in my clients one on one, right? We work through a whole plan. Six months, it's like a six month plan. We go through like your goals, what you want to achieve, and I am able to bridge the gaps I know exactly from talking to you fill out a massive questionnaire, like a massive one. But it's enough like I need your details from you girl, I need to know what's going on in your head. Because I can bridge the gaps I can be like, right? We need to be focusing on self work here. People pleasing here understanding this, I build out a fully customized plan. And we go through that we go through my eight step plan to train you in the right way. So that you can like one sees unhelpful patterns before they start to start interjecting them start getting them before they start creating havoc, how to like process emotions effectively, I give you building blocks to set you up so that you're going and you're able to achieve your career goals, whether it's a promotion, whether it's just not crying in the bathroom, between meetings, a whole heap of stuff like that. That is why I do what I do because it's it is struggling at the start. And same thing with podcasts. This is why I have this. Because what I'm doing is every single topic is just touching on something that is like a hard core belief that you have in your mind. And I'm kind of just opening your mind up about it a little bit. And some of you and I get messages from you. So I know this like Barack Michelle, I feel so seen, I feel heard. I feel like you went through like this. And you've opened up my mind to see this in just a new light. It's like yes, that's what I'm doing. But you know, can't do it all at once. And obviously, it's a different podcast is very different to like one on one coaching now to do what the title of this is about. So I'm doing the same thing here, when I'm giving you these three tips or like three little things do like help you to I don't know, I hate saying this. But some people are like to like break down the matrix. You want to use a matrix metaphor. Yeah, like you have a way of viewing and seeing things. And then yes, I'm just giving you evidence to kind of change that a little bit. So that's what I'm doing with the three tips here. Alright, so how to start 2023 just set yourself back and straight. And the third one, you're gonna want to listen to that one because that is so important. I need you to start doing that right now. But I'll start with tip number one, you need to start accepting right now. There are just going to be shitty people that you work with, okay? I'm saying it, and you've got to be okay with it. Be okay, with not being okay with shitty people. What do I mean by that? Here's the thing. Humans interpret thing. Humans interpret things or people completely differently. Like you hear all the time I say it like there's one colleague and everyone you know, you talk to someone you talk to multiple people about this one colleague and people love and people hate and you are the same, there will be people that you love and hate. And there will just be people that you're like, Fuck, I hate working with this person, or this person takes it so seriously, or it's really stressful, etc. If you can just accept that they are like that, and that this person is just going to do what they are going to do. Oh my god, the drama you will be removing from your life. Now, I know for some of you that is so hard, and I get it. So what you're gonna want to do is I use this all the time. It's the three year old metaphor that I use. Okay? Do you take a three year old who wants to eat raw chicken? Seriously? Is it annoying? Yes, it is fucking annoying. I don't doubt a three year old is like me eat raw chicken. It's like shut up like I'm trying to protect and save you. But do you really take it to heart? No, you don't. Because you're just kind of like, alright, they're three, they're still learning, brains growing, etc.

19:04

You need to actually start using the same concept with like, like those people. Seriously, it frees up so much mind drama, and you start to see them with so much more empathy and compassion. And I'm not saying that so that they can get away with shit. I'm saying that so you can take back your fucking power. Okay. You take back your power, when you realize that people are just doing things because I don't know. They have unregular how to regulate their emotions and they're just expressing it in whatever way makes sense to them. It means people can't get to you. It means when people do you like some pretty bad shit. You aren't going to make it mean anything about you as a human being your abilities or anything like that. Are they going to be difficult to work with? Yeah, sure. Persist that shit. Allow yourself to be mad. Do a fucking thought download on it. You can even complain and gossip. I did a whole thing like I'm very, are some coaches who are like, Oh my God, no don't like gossip or complain, whatever. I'm the opposite. I actually think there is a time it's kind of like junk food in a way, not junk food. It's like food. If you're complaining all the time. Yeah, sure. But it's nothing wrong with having a little vent having a little window or anything like that, like, let you do that process your emotions, like how I've been talking about the podcast, by really allowing those feelings allowing those thoughts to come up. And really, just think about it at least because some of you are so triggered right now. Like, no, Michelle, this is ridiculous. But instead of like, ruminating over what they did, and thinking, oh my god, I can't believe they can act like that. Think about how much mind freedom you're going to have. When you're just like, that person is that person. And they're doing that thing again, that frustrates me and annoys me. If you want more info on that, check out the episode. It's about how to be okay with like people taking the job. So seriously, you'll see it, it's only a few episodes ago from here. But if you look at like jobs seriously, that's literally the one I'll give you way more info on that one. Number two is to drop your shitty goals. What I mean by that is, that's what I meant by New Year's resolutions. A lot of you think that if you know like, this is the year that I'm going to get, like super fit or eat this way. Or I'm going to, you know, get that job or something like that. I'd really encourage you to at least ask yourself why you want to do that? And keep asking why? And keep asking why? Because a lot of you want to do it because you think that you will be happy at the other end, you think that I'll get that promotion? And I'll be happy. But have you been promoted in your career? And how long have you felt happy for? Or have you lost weight or done that health kick or whatever? How long have you been feeling happy for you probably felt happy for a little bit. And then all of a sudden, there was a new goal. You wanted to lose even more weight, you want to do even more healthily or you wanted to get to that next career goal. Why have you ever asked why that can? Why why you can't like enjoy and be happy with where you're at? I think you're fucking New Year's resolution should be enjoying and being present in the moment. Because if you can learn how to do that now. Oh my god, are you going to have a such way more enjoyable curry, you're going to be enjoying the journey which let's face it, like a lot of us like we have no idea when we're going to die. With certain stuff like that we're going to live apparently weighing into like out 90 years or 100 I think people born now going to live to 150 You might as well want to be enjoying the journey instead of I want to get over here. I want to get over here. I want to get over here. Because you're gonna get to the end of your life and be like, Oh, I didn't enjoy any of it. I kept rushing to the new thing. bugging sucks. That's what I say when I say drop those shitty goals. That doesn't mean you don't have to set goals or stuff like that. It's just no one challenges like I never had new year's resolutions. I never understood that big push especially when it came to weight stuff around. Oh yeah, it'll be now I'm like but I can set a goal whenever I fucking want to like why does it have to be in the new year like new year new me and like you could start a new you anytime and it just can't it seems to come from this place of scarcity especially when I saw those ads that coming up to New Year's Eve about like losing weight and stuff like that, which we all know comes from a place of like I want to fit in to society's norm of being skinny. And as a person who lost 10 kilos and got a ton of comments. I wanted to lose even more weight. And it's because my brain was just like not like it. I ended up realizing I had a level of body dysmorphia. Because I still thought I was like well I'm still like fat and chunky. And I'm looking at the photos now and I'm like well no I wasn't and I think I realized oh shit is this just like my brain is just like your next goal. next goal we got to keep you moving you ever asked why? And if you want more info on that one I want you to check out stop rushing past the good in your life. That is exactly we're talking about here. It's going to give you more information. And tip number three the most important one Listen to me if you've made it this far Good on you. Please listen to me very fucking carefully. I'm going to do another episode that touches on this in the next one so stay tuned fucking follow me so you can find out more. I want you to do this right now. Okay, I'm serious because it is a quieter time. Typically speaking in corporate world I know some of you work in different areas but just you know, traditionally speaking stet work place boundaries now. Especially if you will Earlier on in your career, okay, this is really important to set these fucking habits now you have more, okay, in regards to a training The training grounds, right? Talk about it like training grounds. I feel like in the December January period, because of the holidays and stuff like that people coming back, it is easier for you to do the work to set workplace boundaries that aren't going to trigger you so much. Think about it this way, very likely, it is going to be easier for you to say no to your boss around one project that's happening in January that maybe it's not like super pressuring about versus the middle of fucking year, which at least in Australia here, I know, it's different, like overseas, in the financial year. Everyone's like, I we need to spend this money before it ends. And there's like 20 projects going on. Like, like, when it's all heavier, when there's more triggers, it's like the weights, you're lifting a heavier, now is the perfect time oh my god, seriously, this is when you can start doing all this stuff. And it's fan fucking tastic how you want to do that I'm gonna have some things like I'm gonna have an episode next week, that's going to tell you a little bit more about that. But to get you started for that, this is what you're going to do. I want you to write out the things that you want to be able to do. Like, what if I could just like click my fingers and everything changes for you? Like, what would you want to be able to do? Right? And when I what I mean by that is, if you will like someone else like that, like, I know, you know of a colleague, who just seems to be so chill, and like, can say no to projects. And it's almost like they don't even take their job that seriously and you're kind of like, fuck you. times. It's like, dude, stuff you like I wish I had that energy. How do you how do you want to be showing up? Like how would you want to feel? Like would you want to be saying no to things? Would you want to stop working back at night. And then start thinking of little things that you can say to yourself to make it be more create a level of internal safety that you can do that. And that's what I'm going to talk about in next week's episode. So come follow me if you're new to find out more, because I think this is a really important because you can do this now you're in like a level 10 zone and coming up to the end of financial year you're going to be in level 50 And if you're not doing the prep work now it's just gonna feel a lot harder. You hear me all the time if you're common listener, I'm all about baby steps to balance I'm all about when my clients are working with me one on one and they're like frequently like I don't want to like say no to this thing. I'm like okay, well can you say no to a colleague? Can you say no to this other person? Maybe it's maybe it's you wait 10 minutes before responding. You create like evidence for your brain that hey, I did the thing and the worst case didn't happen. Best thing to do if you are already starting to work back so you're working back till nine work back till 830 and see what happens and just be uncomfortable All right, you probably will or glue will do thing I want to send the email Well, I say it that way because it's just in my brain used to do and it's just looking back at it I'm like oh my god see what happens the next day see what happens that email you missed? Oh my God I got resolved that fucking does happen that's happened to my clients to see you can you can fucking surprise yourself. So start doing that now. Next week, we're going to go into more detail around how you can really enforce these and put these in. And if you want to be like really fucking like fast tracking yourself for 2023 Guys book in a discovery call with me. I want to show you exactly what your 2003 is going to look like. You want to fast track loving your job again. Let's fucking do it. I want to have a chat with you. I'm going to take you through my eight step program of what we work on. I'm going to find out more about you what you want to achieve what you want to create for yourself and I'm gonna let you know if you're a good fit for my program is customized program.

29:03

I love it so much. Because it's just helped so many women drop a whole heap of mine shit that like some of it. We've been socialized some of its shit we've picked up from childhood and live a life intentionally how they want which is enjoying their job, going after their bucking career goals without like giving up their whole soul to accompany and still having time on the weekends to be with their friends and family. This is something that you can have because I can have this true. And I'm going to show you how to give it to your girls. All right, that's all for today. I will see you next week. Bye