How to deal with Big F*cking Feelings

How to find a Job during a Recession

April 24, 2023 Michelle Kevill Season 1 Episode 89
How to deal with Big F*cking Feelings
How to find a Job during a Recession
Show Notes Transcript

In today's episode I am going to talk about how to find a new job when the world is talking about a recession.

 In this episode we discuss:

  • Why lot's of research won't make you feel better
  • Why managing your mind is the KEY 
  • How to stop freaking out about finding a new job with a REAL solution

Show notes and the transcript can be found here:

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Hello, everyone, I hope you're well. And if not, I got you, at least you are here. My name is Michelle Kevill. And I help high achieving corporate women feel passionate about their job. Again, I'm currently on leave when you're listening to this, and I do have a little bit of a cold, it is not great, and I'm a little bit tired. I did just take a nap. But I do I did. I really wanted to record this episode today. It's also coming into winter here in Australia, and I hate winter. So it's just that whole, like, my body's just getting used to the change in seasons. Today's episode again, I'm still figuring out the title, like I always do is I really want to talk about finding a job in a recession. Because this is a very interesting topic for some people. And I may be very triggering for you. But I am going to tell you around really how all your fears kind of get elevated, whenever there's a certain look kind of world event, and how you can kind of surpass it, whether it be that you're looking for new jobs, whether it that's that you just want to change. And whilst every industry is different, a lot of this is just thoughts that kind of get fed into you. And then you're just running off that because humans are fear based creatures. So what do I mean by all of that, like, I think it's pretty common like and how this episode came for me is I noticed every now and again, I'll pop into the old Reddit forums, and I might help someone might put a post down here or there in a few different groups on the old online world. And what I have really been noticing is people with the recession happening, and I think it's more in America, but there's that kind of sense of like, there is a refresh a recession is genuine inflation going up, things are more expensive, like post the pandemic, there is almost this fear of, I don't want to leave my job, or I can't make that change, because it's as good as it's gonna get, and I can't, you know, it could be really bad over that. This will be triggering for you. You will still have that fucking thought regardless of whether there is shit going on the world or not. It is exemplified and amplified, like no tomorrow, when there are things happening in the world. That doesn't mean what you're saying isn't true. I know that there have been like major job cuts overseas, like we've seen what's been happening in the US and Arizona, my listeners are from the US, like major big companies have been cutting a lot of people like let's not dismiss that, that is definitely a fact. But deep down, even think about this before pandemic recession, whatever. Whenever you wanted to shift jobs, even and think about this, too, because I've seen this so much, right? Has it been that you've ever really wanted it like you can only ever shift a job or change a job when it's like so bad? In the area that you're in? Like when it's so bad, then you're like, Oh, crap, I gotta move out, I gotta change careers or something like that. When you're feeling genuinely okay. Or when it's kind of mild, like maybe you think you know what I want to change industries, like I do the promotion, whatever your reason is, when things are, you know, like, genuinely Okay, in the job, it's a little bit harder to get up and move to make that change. And what your brain is looking for is evidence as to why that is true. And then when you are seeing this crap all the time in the media, and they are really pushing the recession, etc. Your brain is just getting more evidence that this is true and real. And what I've been happening online and also with some of my clients, is the fear more like to have a manage mindset, you need that more than ever. That doesn't mean we go out and do stupid things. Because I was with a client and it was a little bit challenging. It's like, well, this is my industry. This is what's happening. Like, what the fuck can I do about it? I'm like, that is still like, you can put that shit in the sea line, that can still be true. But who is it always going to benefit at the end of the day? If you are thinking you're pulling away and being like, oh, yeah, that's that's evidence as to why I can't change careers or move or go for that promotion, or whatever it is. It's going to just benefit the lower part of your brain lower part of the brain, really the part of you that wants to stay safe. But when you're staying safe, like it will real brain would rather you stay safe and miserable. Then actually do something like stretch your capability and boundaries says why especially in times like this type of turmoil. You need to be able to manage your mind because I guarantee you everyone else is feeling this way and they don't trust themselves. And then they're potentially going on forms asking should I do this? Should I not do this? And really at the end of the day, it's you need to get your emotions your mindset in check so that you can make the best decision that serves you at that time. This is where life coaching is very different to, I think a lot of kind of professions if I'm honest, because it's not that we don't disagree that like, okay, yes. Is there a recession happening? Yes, 100% There's something going on this fuckin inflation and shit happening and it's making it harder. But should you then use that to not even make any change, if you did that all the time, you will always like you will always stay stuck. Because there's always something, there's always going to be something before that it was a pandemic, before that it was something else. And then the media is constantly like bringing and surfacing this stuff to you. And another thing, who isn't really serving again, not just the lower part of the brain, but it serves society, if you just stay put where you are doing whatever it is, you need to do, not making that shift or change it to me, it serves like the status quo. Like we're all like little grades so much, but it's the kind of like, we're worker ants, and we're all doing our job. And we're in our role. And we're not moving, we're not changing or anything like that. And if that's fine with you, that's great. But sometimes every now and again, you are sitting there and you're like I want to shift industries, that job is paying me better. This is what the industry standard is I want to go talk to my boss about it or I want to go move to this role, and your brain will always I do not care. Think back to when it has been doing this has given you reasons as to why it should not shift. And it always comes down to Job instability etc. Like this article I read a years ago where they said one of the reasons why corporations were offering like more benefits at the time, this was like years ago was because Millennials were like job hopping, like they were like, not dealing with this shit. I'm gonna leave. And then they were talking about how like a millennial isn't loyal. And because of that it caused corporations to shift and change saw the same thing when the pandemic happened. And a lot of us in our corporate jobs are working from home. Trust me when I say you not making changes, or even trying or even investigating it looking at it. It benefits. It's not benefiting you. I'll tell you that. So how do we do this, maybe this is someone maybe you're listening to this, you really want a change. So I'm going to give you the tips on how to do this and how to manage this during recession, because I similarly had to do something similar in my own world a few years ago. And he said, here's the thing, though. They said the same fucking thing. Like it was the worst time to change roles. They were like you shouldn't do it, you shouldn't be changing, you shouldn't be moving our jobs are terrible at the moment. No, was there a session going on? No, there wasn't. But it was not the best time and it still worked out even better for me than I could have ever imagined. But to get started, I first need to tell you a little bit about how your brain operates and how the media are 100%. Like know this, if you're a regular listener, you probably already know this. And if you are new, you have a stress response, you have a limbic system, you have a part of your brain that wants to keep you safe, it turns on your anxiety, it's your fight or flight, whatever you want to call it, it is not very good at connecting to prefrontal cortex, which is the thinking part of your brain. So when you're thinking about, hey, I want to move positions like I'm not getting, I don't know, pay this right, or I just want to move careers, etc. That part of you is like shit change, that's bad. That is not good that I can't predict what good things are going to come on the other side. So maybe you do a ton of research, maybe you are asking people, you are trying to find out maybe what this other company is like you're trying to calm that part of you down. But the problem is you're doing it through information, which is more going to get it's going to inform you but that's working with the thinking part of your brain, that part of your brain is there to protect you from lions and tigers. We did not live in that world anymore. And when I say the media know this, I mean, the media, whenever there is fucking strife, I don't care what it is, whether it's like a war going on the pandemic, or recession. Notice how the media is like giving you a ton of this stuff, talking about inflation, interest rates, like basically how bad things are going to be versus how good things are going to be or how there are good things kind of happening in the world. That's because that type of negative scary news triggers our stress response, and we engage with that we click it, we share with our friends, we comment etc. As you're reading this stuff, you might not notice it, but I guarantee you it's sitting there in the back of your head. Think of it like a jar slowly filling up with water. And during really stressful periods that jar overflows pretty quickly. And this jar, all of a sudden everyone overflows, you start to feel really really anxious. That type of media and news does affect that jar. It does fill it up. Maybe not when you don't want to do anything or you don't want to do a change. But your brain again that part of you is looking for evidence to keep you safe. It's like I don't want you to go to that lion or tiger that. Yes, the job change isn't a lion or tiger. But again, your brain doesn't like that part of your brain is so dumb. It doesn't know that. When you are afraid of something when you are even just a little bit afraid of stuff.



You have some negative thoughts about a thing, that thing is getting triggered, that stress response is like, Nope, I'm going to pull you back in and I want you to stay safe. I would rather you stay miserable in this fucking current job than even think about looking for a new job. I have no idea what it's going to look like, it could be even worse, let's not do that. That is a survival mechanism that worked really well, when it came to, like a fucking bear down at the river. And we remembered that and we were like, We're not gonna go to that river anymore. The ones that were like, I think that bear might be really friendly. Once they were the humans died and didn't pass on their genes. And here we are. Now I'm trying to say in a long winded way is that we have a negativity bias to every thing we do. And it can be very hard to go against that. So on top of that, we have a negativity, negativity bias, then we get fed all this information, and then you're stuck. And you're stuck thinking it's not the right time. But it's never going to be the right time. It is never listen to me right now. It's never going to be the right time. Because I have seen this before. And then I've talked to people older than me, who have seen the same shit before even longer. Now, like, yeah, I was told this, and this was gonna happen, etc. And it didn't happen. I'm not saying there aren't risks, when you go out to take new jobs and stuff like that. You're more resilient, however, then you think, and your biggest fear is really just making a bad mistake. So it's what we want to do, we want to talk to that fear based side of us, right? That part of you that's like, I don't want you to do this. And the way you do that, really simply, if you knew, it's going to be body scans, it's going to be like light check ins, it's going to be noticing the physical sensations in your body. Think of that as you just like giving it a hug or calming down a toddler. It doesn't work through information, you giving it all this information and like even verification, because here's a here's a here's a good trick. If you have like, the most amount of verification about this other like role or whatever, like maybe you have friend working there, you know the company inside out, whatever it is, and you still feel really, really anxious, I guarantee you, that is that stress response kicking in and you need to calm it down, you need to work with your body through emotions. Once you're able to do that, and by the way, it doesn't go away completely your body. It's not like oh yeah, I did a body scan, I noticed my feelings and suddenly it's gone, you've kind of just got to be managing that you're going to be working with that it's going to come in waves, it's going to come up and down, then what you're going to do is you're going to do a best, to worst and middle case scenario. These are fantastic for things like these. And what I want you to keep going is I want you to write a fucking eloquent story on it. Like, if the absolute like your brain is basically worried about the absolute worst case scenario I want I want you to do is keep going with that. And the biggest thing is going to be like I ended up homeless on the street or something like that. That's literally what's going to be like, ask yourself, will you really like what would you do then? Either? Would you really? Or what would you do that? And answer that question like literally answer that for your brain? Like, see what you come up with? Would it be your go to a shelter? Or would it likely be that you like you stay with your parents or you stay with some friends or something like that? The reason you want to do that is because you're at like a top layer, like most people are like, Oh, I'll get fired or something like that. And I'm like, okay, and then what, and then what, and then when they keep going all the way to the very end, it's actually nowhere near as bad as I think your brain is only going to give you some kind of insight into like, one step forward. But if really the worst absolute worst case was to happen. I want you to start looking at what the avenues and support systems you do have. Now some of you might not have some of those things that I'm talking about. That's okay to still look at it. Still open yourself up to it. Because you want to, again, create a little bit of safety with this part of you. It doesn't trust you at the moment that is very likely why you're asking potentially, like ton of people, should I be doing this? Is this the right thing to do? What should I do? Instead of trusting yourself? The biggest thing I think society takes away from us is self trust. Trust that you can figure it out. Trust that you are making the right decision. And knowing that it's the right decision for you. You know what, you might come up with something and be like, You know what, this isn't the right time for me, and I'm okay to wait. Good. You came up with that on your fucking art. Not because someone else told you or whatever. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. But I see so often, especially in women, we are kind of outsourcing our decisions because we trust other people's opinions, some of them that we barely know, over our own and who do we know best ladies? We know ourselves the best you can make the best decision for you. So by answering those two, like main questions, that's going to really help and do like I do a best I always start sometimes I start with the worst, I go worst, best and middle, I got to go extremes. Instead of you can ladder it, I have some clients ladder at up like it worst, middle best whatever. I don't know why I like to just because I like to see both sides. It's like black and white. And then I give myself a gray. Funnily enough, when my clients have done this, they look, it's always like the gray scenario, the middle case scenario, like you know what I can I can handle this, like, this isn't that bad? Like, yeah, I know. It's okay. And like, think about, ask yourself why always negative, right? We've been so conditioned, and it's in our wiring to focus on the negative. That's what I'm saying. So of course, all this negative news on top of that isn't going to help sort of saying before, like, this is going to be triggering for some people, because you might be in the midst of this, and I'm giving you a whack up the bum. I'm like, Hey, it is possible. And that's really what a coach's approach is always seeing the possibility, but also putting the trust in your hands. I've had discovery calls with clients. And at the end of it, like I've done, we've done some coaching, I've even coached them on working with me. And at the end of it, they've made a decision that's best for them. And some of our times that decision was you aren't the coach for me. That's fine. I'm so proud, you came up with that fucking decision for yourself. You're not sitting there trying to ask someone else, or anything like that, again, it's totally fine to run things by people, we always offset our decision making, you know, what is best for you. You know what you can figure out, start to play around with the idea that is possible start to then write out Oh, like just a list of 10 things, right? If it did work out, what would that look like? And that's why sometimes even with the scenarios, I get you to write a big chunky scenario or why it's like absolutely amazing, or crap or whatever. And really just like don't look at it for a bit, come back to it look at it, like how true is some of that stuff? Where have you done this before? is also a great question to ask. So for me, I'm really at that point in my life where I just know, in my fucking soul, I will, I will always get a job, I always figure it out. Not just because of my industry, because I'm an analyst, because I have proved to myself time and time again that I have been able to do this, that I can do this. And that even if I got into something that I didn't like, I could just be open and vulnerable with myself and other people and be like this wasn't a great fit. Like, what do we need to do about this? A lot of this stuff as well comes with vulnerability. Because I have I took this with the client as well. It was oh, what if it's not a good fit? And then like, then what do I do? I'm just stuck there. I'm like, Are you? Could you talk to the people? And just be honest. Like, I can't do that. And again, you can? Who's stopping you? Would a manager really want someone that wasn't in the role? Wouldn't they want to talk to you, you know, have an open conversation about it, like vice versa? Would you want to do that for someone else? So like, yeah, maybe your brain is just has tunnel vision, you have tunnel vision, and a coach is trying to kind of open you up. So these are the some of the things that you really need to be doing. Some of the stuff Yes, the ThoughtWorks stuff I just told you do that start playing around with the best case scenario, like right out as well, just a quick list of like, why it would be a good thing to do. But also managing your emotions is so fucking key. I've even to even do this myself. Any news about recession, inflation, shit like that. I am not engaging with it. I'm dismissing it, I am deleting it from frickin tick tock Instagram, whatever, why my jar is going to fill up my jar that takes on negative information, all those beliefs that spiral out of my brain is still there. It's a little quieter, but it's still there.



I don't need to take that on, doesn't mean we don't stay informed people. It's just a little bit of a detox. And do you know how much good news I interact with as well as the stuff that I want to be seen, like some of the new innovations that we're doing to like save the frickin planet, you're not going to feel fantastic straightaway. But if what I'm talking about, like if you're in the thick of it, right? If this is really happening for you, I would certainly suggest well two things. One, I have a freebie. The secret to stop crying in the bathroom between meetings, one that actually gives you a great exercise to just work with your emotions because a lot of this mindset workshop, a lot of this especially when you're getting a lot of bad news is really just managing your like emotions and that part of you that limbic system, stress response, whatever that is just screaming at you all the time. I also have this amazing program called the worry free weekends is where I work with you one on one for four weeks for free. To show you the skills. These are the same skills that you would use when you're trying to find a job And you're freaking out about it. There is no catch. You do not have to sign up with me. I want more women to really experience this for themselves. I want them to take away from it. I've had people who have been listening to the podcast have come down this and it's like, wow, some of those things I was struggling with some of those mindset tools that I teach are really solidified for them and they are now applying it in their everyday life. Think about having that support. If you are looking for a new job. If you are lacking some of the faith in you, not only am I do I have the fucking faith in you, girl, but I'm teaching you how to do that for yourself. It's for free. So head to the shownotes to find out more. And that's all for today's episode. Bye