In today's episode I am going to tell you how to manage your corporate job and a chronic condition (and how to set yourself up for success!)
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A 6 month transformational program for high achieving corporate women like YOU that wants to ENJOY going after their big career goals AND have an even more fantastic life.
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Show notes and the transcript can be found here: https://michellekevill.com/podcast
In today's episode I am going to tell you how to manage your corporate job and a chronic condition (and how to set yourself up for success!)
Get on the waitlist here for my Epic Work & Life Program.
A 6 month transformational program for high achieving corporate women like YOU that wants to ENJOY going after their big career goals AND have an even more fantastic life.
Sign up to my mailing list for free workbooks to help you love your job again!
Follow me on:
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Show notes and the transcript can be found here: https://michellekevill.com/podcast
00:00
Hello, everyone, I hope you're well. And if not, I got you at least you're here. My name is Michelle Kevill. And I help high achieving corporate women feel passionate about their job again. Welcome to today's episode, it has been so, so busy right now, I have been preparing for a new intake for people in the epic working life program coming into May, which you can find out more in the show notes. But this is why people, if you are so driven, if you are ready to achieve those big corporate goals, like getting promoted, but also have an amazing, fantastic life where you're not burning out, and completely overworking and losing your shit, then sign up in the shownotes. I will be opening up some spots coming up into May. And we'll be sending out some notes on that one. I wanted to chat about today's episode, this one I've been planning for for a while, as I have learned a whole heap about my own auto immune condition. And I've talked a little bit about this before, but I've really grown and learned a few things that I wanted to share for anyone out there, who whether it is even a mental illness or any form of illness as such, this is how you can manage that illness that more perspective I'm going to share is from all from like an auto immune condition like, you know, physical illness, and how do you manage that with work, especially if you are that very driven type that is always wanting to achieve? How do you handle yourself? How do you keep going, when that disease is also pulling you down, I'm going to give you the biggest tip that is going to absolutely change the game for you for how you're going to start viewing that specific condition, and how you can actually use it to your benefit. So if I start off, right, we've all had days where we're not feeling super fantastic, right, you might be feeling a little bit tired, we have a coffee, you know, we're trying to continue and do things and stuff like that. But what if we have a condition that is pulling us down compared to what we see is the average, maybe we are having, or you're having absolute extreme, like dizzy spells, complete exhaustion, you are on top of that, really trying to stay at your A game the same level you're always at with work, you know, getting things done getting the ball moving, and rolling. And you're struggling as this illness that you're aware of is starting to pull you down, it's making you more tired, you have to sleep more you've have brain fog, and you feel like it's starting to consume and take over your life. And it's impacting your ability at work, however you are stuck, you don't want to give in to this disease don't want to get into this, you don't want to slow down at work. So you keep pushing yourself through the illness and at work. And then what ends up happening everyone, you end up getting extremely ill how many to take Buck ton of time off. And at that time, you're likely shaming yourself, you're in this little kind of depressive spiral. And you're just wishing that you didn't have this illness. And the tip that I want to share with you today is a game changer. It is something that I've been using myself, it is something that I use with my clients who I work with who also some of them have various types of like, you know, whether it's auto immune or not like the exact one or have some sort of physical illness that is pulling them down. And it is going to change how you work with this disease. And I'm gonna give you a few tips here, and I'm gonna leave the best for last. The first one is, the biggest thing that you need to start working on and changing right now is how you feel I view this disease, I don't even call my thing a disease anymore. I call it an autoimmune condition. And it's very, I'm very strict with the words that I use for this. Because the way you talk about this disease is illness, etc. I just want you to remember that your brain is a sponge, all the negative connotation Actually, I'll give you an example. My partner likes to say that, you know, he's getting old and stuff like that. And you know what, actually tell him off all the time, not because he's not actually old at all, but I'm like, okay, literally the words that you were telling yourself right now that you are old that you have, like, you know, you know, your knees and stuff like that. Your brain is at a subconscious level absorbing some of that. Now, I'm not saying if you ever think oh my god, I suck or something like that. It's immediately gonna go on your brain and then you're gonna suck up the thing. But if you are consistently talking to yourself that way, if you are consistently reinforcing these thoughts and beliefs that you have, it is going to appear in your real world. Am I telling yourself that this condition sucks. It's horrible. I hate this. It's a disease you're actually giving the disease more, literally more power into ways how you view it obviously is making you feel like shit as well. And it will add to that those feelings. But no, literally, you could be making your disease worse by focusing in on it think the only way to explain it is I think of this Simpson Simpsons episode where Bart is like, doesn't want to go to school. So he's telling his body like, ah, like, like just get sick and then like the immune system just retreats and he like properly gets himself sick. It's literally like that like and I think what happens is we just add more focus to it. So our brains are aware of it. And when we're adding more focus on to a condition, we're obviously heightening our anxiety and stuff like that which, especially for an autoimmune condition just does not help at all. So the first thing is you need to start changing how you talk about your condition or even care if this is like from a mental illness to a physical illness as well. Now, some of you that might be a little bit jarring, especially when it comes to say a mental illness such as like depression, anxiety and stuff like that, I have had to reframe all the messaging that I got from doctors, like before coaching about me being labeled, like I was told that I have depression, I do not have depression, this is for me, personally, I'll give you my example. I didn't have depression, I never had depression, I had improper coping skills, which led me to seek out destructive behaviors, which led to a spiral of depression, like I would have these little spirals of anxiety, depression, etc. And then I'd be like, Oh, it's the depression. Again, it wasn't the depression. Again, it was literally all my thoughts, how I talked to myself, and then how it's treating myself and in reaction to that, then I became depressed. And it's not to say that there aren't people out there who have a biochemical difference in their brain, they may have to be taking certain types of medication, what I'm saying to you might not fit for you, that is totally fine. What I am saying is, you need to work and see kind of like the light of your illness. So my autoimmune condition. Whenever it flares up, it's a reminder, it is my internal alarm system that is just a bit more heightened than everyone else's, that I need to take care of myself more. That is it, whether it's through like thought work, physical self care, mental self care, like there's always a lack of food, like even when I'm eating like, it is an I just tell myself, my alarm is just a bit more reactive versus other people. Why is that some of it is genetics, which we found out, this condition is running in my family. And the second one is how I have previously treated myself. Now I can see that as a bad thing and go back and be like, Oh, I should have never done this myself. Bla bla bla, I cannot fucking change the past, okay, you can only learn from the past. Or I can say that, okay, this is my body, loving me so fucking much. Some people might be very jarring, depending on your symptoms and side effects. So I get I really do get it. But when you have this, it's like, okay, it's to me, it's like, my body is loving me so much that it had to put into an alarm system because of how I treated it to be like, hey, you need to stop, you need to listen to me. So now Funny enough, whilst I have you know, peaks and troughs, and I'm still working with the condition still managing it. And it's going to be one of those things that is ongoing, I don't think it's ever going to saralee going to be cured. It's just going my lifestyle at times just needs to shift around it so I can make sure that I'm still taking care of me. So that's the same thing I want to give to you again, how are you heightening? One your autoimmune condition, but how can you view it in a better light? How can you view it as something that is helping you? Again, this might be very jarring for people as well, who have extreme, extreme symptoms. And I really do respect that. And it's one of those things, especially if you are at the start of your journey, like these types of things that I'm giving you right now. might be too much for you. And that's okay. Because when I was diagnosed with the very first time with this, and my symptoms were at the height, I was just like, Oh, my God, and not what have you this any other way as in like, get rid of this thing right now. But how can you just give yourself at least some self compassion and how you view the symptoms that you're having to not escalate them even further by adding that anxiety, that frustration with it? If that's where you're at? That's where I would start with how you adding to the autoimmune condition or the condition that you have. How by you viewing this this way, makes it even stronger as in again, if you're freaking out about the fact that you're getting headaches all the time. How is that making the headache stronger? As an example, separately, you need to cut and drop the shame you have around this condition in line with work.
09:58
The problem is you see this because this is what I was talking to before about, like changing your narrative around the condition, right? So I've done that for mine, and I see it in different light. The problem is, when you are this high achieving, getting person, you're doing all the things, your high performing, anything that slows you down, you will judge and you will absolutely shame it and you will make yourself feel like you are inadequate to other people. And that is complete bullshit. Okay? This is where shifting your view of the autoimmune condition can really help you here because for me, where I'm at, is whenever I need to slow down, I'm like, okay, my internal alarm system, my autoimmune condition is flaring up to teach me a lesson. And I'll notice slow down. And when I slow down, I know that I can speed back up, but I need to honor myself right now. And where I'm at, you aren't going to just fucking like white knuckle, your way through all the symptoms and feelings and hope that it goes away. Okay, I tried that. It doesn't work. It's it's not going to work and the nooners special pill, or special diet is going to make this just completely disappear, it is going to be something that you are going to need to work with and manage ongoing and I know that can be really frustrating to hear. But when you can accept that, you can then start to just integrate it with your life. And then when you drop the shame around how it's making you perform, you can then start to think about pragmatically using your thinking brain, not the part of you that's shaming you and being like just get back to it. And is such a you know, little baby like other people don't do with this level the you can start to think about what extra measures do I need, so that I can work at my most highest performing self? Let me say that again? What measures do I need, so that you can perform at your highest performing self, there is nothing wrong with getting some sort of extra support to ensure you're able to work constructively, conclusively, I know, you know what I mean. And the problem is, you aren't likely asking for those at your corporate job, or even just advocating yourself in like the medical field etc. Because typically for me autoimmune conditions, like it took a while for me to just had to really advocate for myself, to get this condition diagnosed to see the right specialists actually helped me along the way, you have to drop some of the shame that is coming with his condition, and coming from needing to ask for, you know, something extra in order to allow yourself to flourish, right. So for me at the peak of like COVID, and the pandemic, and some people had started coming back into the office, because of my condition I've was not able to. And I was okay advocating for that. Because I'd also have a lot of practice with other health stuff being able to do that. But I had known clients who came to me who are really struggling to do that, because I had so much shame around what No, and this is, like, if I asked to, you know, work from home or something, then it's gonna be bad for my career, blah, blah, and and when we really went down through all these thoughts, really all it came down to was the shame that they were feeling about this condition and about asking for an extra request. And it was funny enough, once they were able to work through that they were able to ask for what they needed. And the thing that they feared was going to happen never happened. And they were able to work even better, and then they were able to better go back etc. Like all that stuff. And this is what I mean when I say you have to drop some of that shame because your brain is gonna lie to you and tell you all these lies around like no workers and supportive workers are going to do that. But what that leaves you is in a victim state of mind. And then you're not even trying to advocate for yourself. And a lot of thoughts I get a lot of the time from some of my older clients was like, but like, if they say no blah, blah, blah, it's like okay, if they say no, so what? Like, what other things like keep going keep advocating for yourself, like what other things can be put in place does negotiations need to happen? Like what do you need to do here are the things you need to be changing at home like like, when you're in that state of like, I don't even want to ask because a personal trainer and that'll bring up all my shame around this condition. You just stay stuck and you stay stuck in the same way of being and you end up making like the condition worse. And that's not going to be helpful for you. So a lot of this really is drop the shame you have with this condition. And it will all come down to how you view yourself with this condition and a lot of you are viewing it as it is a detriment to me is making me perform less and if I perform less, I'm not good enough. I suck I fail etc. You can't get rid of this. You just have to make As your way through it, and when you drop all that drama, then you can really come to the table and think about right, what is it that I need for myself. And another way to do this is to think about if someone came to you with like, the same thing, an autoimmune condition? Like, what would you be telling that? Would you be like, No, suck it up? Deal with it? How dare you? Like, ask for any special treatment? or anything like that? No, I don't doubt you would likely be very compassionate to them and be like, hey, like, this is what you can think about and ask, here's some resources, here's some policy documents, etc, like all this stuff. So why can't you do it for yourself? Well, you can't, because you have a different set of expectations for yourself and how you need to actually operate in the world that was likely passed down from you to you from like, whether it's parents, or guardians, just ways of being an operating that kept you safe. And that's not helping you. Now, the reason it's important to do this type of work that I'm talking about, is because it will serve you so much, you're able to get better. A lot of majority of my heaviest symptoms have like mostly disappeared, there are times when they come back up. And I have just had to accept that. It's an ongoing condition that I manage, this isn't going away, there are going to be times where I will absolutely flare up, and I need to take time off. And it is like annoying and stuff like that. And you know, sometimes it even affects my business with my coaching. But that's okay. That's life, I'm going to give myself grace and love and self compassion. And I'm also going to be looking at what was it that I was doing or not doing? Like, what kind of triggered it as well. And my triggers are going to change too is life happens? And that's okay, too. And what other things do I need to be looking at, I still haven't necessarily thought that I'm complacent with the condition that I'm accepting that it's here Tuesday. And there are a lot for my condition, points around or selling points, I would say in various communities around how you can ultimately get rid of it, but it's going and I do think there is a point where I can get it to a place where it is potentially in remission. Will it pop up from time to time out of remission? Yeah, like I do think that's possible. And then will my strategy on managing it have to change to get it back into remission? Yes. But I'm accepting that this is a journey, and it is going to take time. And that that's okay. I'm figuring it out. I'm still thriving. I'm still okay, I've been promoted two times. And under a year, whilst I had this condition, this is not taking away from my life, because that's also the last thing you do not want to do, you do not want to use this condition to then put you in this little hole of like, and this is why I can't do x, this is why it sucks. Now, if you're at the start of your condition, it is okay, by the way to be in that hole, I would actually be giving you a completely different set of coaching. So if you're working with me one on one, if you were in this, like oh my god, it sucks right now. Because what you actually need, if you are like, I mean, you're at the peak of your symptoms, like they are horrific, you need so much love, you need to know that it is okay. It is okay to feel this way, it's okay to be in this little tiny hole that you're in right now. And that and that you have the ability to get through this. You can pick yourself back up, you can do small little tiny things, to take care of yourself and to move through it. Some of those things are as simple as just like, I don't know, getting up and brushing your hair or something like that. I say this because I for me, and because of how I was raised when it came to my health I came from a very health conscious family, not about food, I mean literally health conscious around like your physical ailments and stuff like that, just being aware of it. And also, traditionally women are negated for their symptoms. And I was always told to advocate like if you think something is wrong, like go through God, something is wrong, whatever and that has served me I remember what my condition because I very quickly went from oh my god absolutely hate this to like right at what do I need to do when he was speaking to how do I need to fix this? I was able to skip what I saw. Lots of people it took them years to get to where I was at or I just immediately was like speaking to different specialists, doctors, I wasn't taking no for an answer when I was told that my levels were fine.
19:34
And just demanding the support that I needed to finally getting the diagnosis that I needed and the support and the right specialists in place. That came from a mindset of I'm not going to let this like take over me I need to get help. Why do I need to go from for you. Your conditions are absolute peak. I really do I completely empathize with you. There is nothing wrong with you If you're going to be okay, you're going to get through this, I really do believe that, okay? Give yourself some self love and compassion right now. All right, it's okay to be a little sad at the moment. And soon you'll be a little batty advocating for you, if you're at the point in time where you're aware of your condition, and you're kind of just like, how am I going to keep managing this with work, this is where it really is important to be dealing with some of the shame and the thoughts you have about it affecting your life, you fucking need to be changing that, because it is going to serve you changing your story that you have with this condition is not only going to reduce how the condition does actually physically affect you, but you'll be also stopped making it worse. And you'll be able to advocate for yourself and what things and extra support, whether it's in line or medical work, whatever that you need. And if this is something that you are struggling with, that you want fast results, and when I say fast results, I mean something where you're able to get the support that you need at work and also thrive, like getting promoted whilst Manning managing this autoimmune condition effectively, that it's like not crazy affecting you. And having an amazing, like life, like a real work like a full accord a full life, real work life balance, you're not overworking, you're not overwhelmed, you know, crying about your condition, you have a plan to get yourself better. Book in the show notes linked to my epic working life program. Because I've gone through this myself, I do specifically help with this type of stuff too. And I can help you because so many smart women have, because they haven't advocated for themselves have succumb to certain conditions that they are having when there was help available. And it's sad because I've talked to women who have an Look, that's not to judge some people, then the best decision they need to make from themselves at that time is to take time off work, that is fine as well. And I also know women who have thought because of the shame was too powerful. They weren't able to advocate for their needs. They have had to give they've given up on on like a dream career and frankly, they didn't have to do that. They were just working through some of the things that I was talking about as well. They didn't have to succumb to the shame because you want to make it again you dis the shame you want to come to a decision that is good for you from a better place. Anyway, that is all for today. I will see you next week by week.