How to Navigate Office Politics When You Don’t Know the Rules (Part 1)

You can be brilliant at your job—and still get overlooked.

No one teaches you how to navigate office politics, and for high-achieving, neurodivergent women, that hidden rule book can feel impossible to read. You’re told to “just focus on your work,” but hard work alone doesn’t get you seen.

In this episode:

•  What office politics really are (and why avoiding them backfires)
•  The 3 camps women fall into and how to find where you sit
•  Why neurodivergent women are already better at the game than they think
•  The one skill that helps you play smart—without selling out who you are

This is Part 1 of the Office Politics series — created to help high-achieving women navigate the unspoken game at work with discernment, confidence, and integrity.

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⚠️ Disclaimer:   This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or psychological advice. Any stories, examples, or scenarios discussed are illustrative and may be composites or anonymised accounts. They do not refer to any specific individual, client, workplace, or organisation. 

Transcript

Michelle Kevill: 0:37

Hello, my corporate survivalists. How are we I'm going to be sounding so excited on these episodes because I am finally doing the thing and I've been wanting to do for ages, and I am actually recording quite a few of these in succession. And by the time you get these, I'm hoping it's going to be the middle of the year, but it's likely going to be later than that. But there's a lot happening a lot with my rebrand. You may have seen me just popping back up on social media again, so it is all very exciting. Anyway, into today's episode, How To Play the corporate game without playing yourself. I am so excited for this, and I know I'm probably going to say that with every single episode, because I think it's such a good segue into what we were talking about before, which is, you know, we've gone through the whole boundaries, broken and grooming and stuff like that. But something I want to talk about, which is really, really important, which is really just office politics. So if you've ever said, Look, I hate office politics. I just want to do my job and be good at it, or I am so freaking exhausted trying to decode people I shouldn't have to play goddamn stupid power struggle games to succeed. This episode is for you, because I want to be honest with you, the game is happening all the time around you, whether you want to play it or not at your corporate job. The question isn't, should I play the game? It's, How can you play it in a way that's going to work for you, that protects your energy, it aligns with your values, and it's actually going to get you heard and in the right place. So look, by the end of this episode, you're actually going to understand what the corporate game is, and I'm going to prove to you that you're already playing it in your everyday life. You're going to recognize three common ways high achieving corporate women typically respond and where you may fit and sit. You're also going to know how to navigate it without becoming someone you're not. We do not have to kill who we are as a person and become some sort of corporate robot for this. And stay tuned so you can start developing the one skill that will absolutely set you free from all of this, and I'm going to go into that in a little bit later, but if you want more tips, like these straight to your inbox, things that you won't find in your HR onboarding package, join my email list. I share real talk straight up strategies and survival skills for corporate life, especially if you are neurodivergent, high achieving, super empathetic, and you're just done with the corporate bullshit head to anywhere I'm online, including the show notes, because you'll also get my free workplace grooming guide, and I have just added this additionally, separate from the other episodes. You're also gonna get a checklist as well. So you're gonna, actually, if you are again, go listen to those episodes after this one, but if you think you're in the middle of dealing with someone who is possibly grooming you or a covert narcissist, I have a checklist that is going to help you map this out. Okay? And I just want to, I really want to empathize with you as someone who I'm a no fluff kind of gal. I do not like office politics or anything like that. But this is why I'm making this episode, to really help you understand why it feels so unclear, and how to just navigate it better, because you are going to need it if you want to be working towards that next promotion or getting yourself noticed. Because let's be real, when people say office politics, if you're like me, it usually makes you cringe. It sounds a little bit like backstabbing, possibly like fake compliments and people climbing over each other to get ahead. But the version I want to talk about, it's deeper and way more subtle. The Corporate game is really just unspoken stuff that shapes how things really happen at work. It's the invisible layer underneath. It's not your actual job, not necessarily the tasks, the KPIs, not even the stuff on the performance review. I'm talking about who gets listened to, whose ideas really land, who gets seen as leadership material, and who is forgotten, even if they're the one holding it all together. Now, if this is triggering something inside, you just wait, listen to the episode. I'm going to speak to that part of you that's like, but I just want to do my job. I'm going to pull it all together. Because this is why it feels so confusing, especially for really smart, high achieving women. Look, most of us were taught to treat work really like school. You know, you do well at the task, you follow instructions, you hit the deadline, you get the result. School was structure, and it was like you knew a good look like effort equaled reward. But corporate, it's totally different. You can be brilliant. At your job and still get overlooked. You can be overworked and still not be seen as a team player, because corporate doesn't run on that type of logic or just that type of logic. It actually runs on perception. It is a mix of both, and we'll get into that. And the worst part of all of this, especially for neurodivergent women, is no one freaking teaches you this. There was no course at uni on office politics like you slowly realize that there's a game going on and you're not sure if you're playing it or if you're being played. Let me give you some examples to elaborate. So maybe you share an idea at a meeting and no one reacts, but later, someone else shares almost the same idea and suddenly it's seen as brilliant. Sometimes it's not always who said it the best way it can sometimes be about who people were already paying attention to. Another one is maybe you send an email that's clear and to the point and someone tells you that your tone was a little bit harsh. Meanwhile, a colleague says the exact same thing, maybe with a smiley face or an emoji, or just layered a little bit with a positive like one positive change in the words, and they get thanked for raising it so kindly. It's the same message, different reaction. Maybe there's a teammate that's always chatting to your boss, sharing small updates, asking for advice, even joking around later they're being picked for a new project, even though you've been doing most of the work. Again, it's not always about fairness. Sometimes it's about who's top of mind and who people feel connected to. Some people talk a lot in meetings, they're always contributing, and it makes them seem like they're really confident, involved, and others barely speak, maybe because they're thinking deeply or don't want to waste time. Both styles do have value, but in corporate, too much can be feel pushy, and too little can look disengaged. The balance speak enough to be remembered, but with meaning. And what does that even look like? Maybe you handle something tricky behind the scenes, calming a client, cleaning up a mess, maybe covering up for someone no one notices because you didn't make a fuss. But then someone else talks about their efforts to clean something up in detail during a team meeting, and they get praised for taking initiative, visibility matters. Quiet, work isn't always recognized, even if it's the most valuable. I know some of this, if you are seriously, if you're a neurodivergent like me, it's likely going to bring up a lot of thoughts and feelings. It might even be triggering you. Being like it doesn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be this way. I shouldn't have to be working or playing this stupid game to get the recognition that I need. And I want to give you an analogy that completely changed it for me. I want you to imagine you go to Spain and you only speak English. You're not wrong for like, speaking your native language, but you are going to miss a lot. You're going to struggle to order food. You might misunderstand some signs. You'll feel like everyone else knows something you don't. And when dinner is at 10pm but no one shows up at six, you feel like you're the problem corporate culture in somewhat is the same. You can absolutely speak your truth, but you if you don't understand the culture around you, you're going to constantly feel misread, out of sync, and like you're working twice as hard just to stay in the room listen. Learning the game is not selling out. It's like learning a language so you can get what you need while still being you. Office politics is just a culture, and I want to convince you that you are already playing it, and if not, you're probably playing it better than most people. You are playing a version of this game every single day without even realizing it when you hint to that your partner like that necklace that you really like that you saw online without flat out asking for it, maybe you adjust your tone when speaking to your boss compared to your grandpa, who's starting to forget things and they're slowing like you might slow down you choose your words more carefully. You might hold off on asking your kid to clean up after dinner, because you know their mood is going to shape how that lands, whether they're going to have an absolute hissy fit, or they're just going to comply. Maybe you save like a complaint for the next morning, instead of raising it in the heat of the moment because you want it to actually land. Congratulations. That's politics. It's emotional intelligence, it's strategic communication. We've actually all been conditioned, especially women, to read the room, manage feelings and soften our messages, to keep the peace. You are already doing it, which means you have the skill playing the game. Doesn't mean you're fake. Means you're effective. You understand how to get your message heard without losing your voice. And I want to make this really goddamn clear, because of the way office politics has been typically kind of talked about with I'm going to say, like bro marketing, it can feel very different to what you're already doing right now. You're probably thinking, Well, hang on a minute. Me adjusting my tone for my grandfather who has dementia. That's not office politics. Well, yeah, it is. It's the same thing. It's the same action. It's just how it's being communicated, whether it's in books, podcasts, research is this very strategic, and I'm gonna say sometimes masculine way, when actually, I feel like women especially have really been conditioned to play office politics really well, because you're already doing it at home. You're doing it all the time. And now I want to talk to you about the three camps that you are falling into when it comes to offer politics, right? So this is the power of saying, Stay with me if you're here camp one. And this is, like a lot of my clients, including myself, it's this. It's fuck the game. I am just going to work hard. You believe good work should speak for itself. You are done with the performative fluff. But here is the risk, you going to become invisible. You're going to hand over your influence without realizing it, if you're not showcasing yourself and your work. Camp two is I don't get it. I do not get it. I don't want to get it. Everyone else is playing on another level. This is the overthinking camp. You're constantly replaying conversations. You're re reading emails. You feel like everyone else got a rule book and you didn't. And this is also where so many neurodivergent women end up landing. And you go between these two camps, between stuff, this game, I don't want to be involved, and then, oh my God, I want to move forward with my career, but I can't seem to move up, and I don't know what I'm doing. And actually, it's just how you're interpreting office politics and corporate culture. You don't even realize that you already have these skills. And I want to also tell you about the third camp and the third camp. Not a lot of people, like neurodivergent women, I would say, are sitting here, but these are the people who are like, I am the game. They live for politics. Everything is curated. So if so again, listen to my boundaries, broken episodes. If you've worked for a COVID narcissist, you've likely seen this in action, charm, one minute, control the next. And the problem with that is, when you and you'll see, you don't even have to work directly with them. If you've seen them in your corporate career, it actually it makes you want to opt out of it completely. This is something that I talk about with my clients, because when we go into the detail around, like, why they don't want to, like, you know, whether it's play the game, etc, and all of that, it's this, I don't want to lose a part of myself. I don't want to use lose my morals and values. But here is the truth, you actually don't need to go into full camp three to win. You just need to know where you sit, so you can move with intention and not fear, and you can 110% Keep your core values aligned. I want to mean this so importantly, because, and this is the key thing, the number one thing out of all of this, take this away and why you should embrace the game. You do not have to play dirty to play smart. I'm going to say that again, you do not have to call office politics is not about playing dirty to play smart. The corporate game is not about becoming someone you're not. It's about reading the room, choosing your moment. It's about your voice on purpose, not like default or reaction, and the way you do that is through discernment. And this is something that I've been really focusing in on myself and my clients. How do we bring women's discernment back? And what do I mean? What is discernment by definition? It is the ability to judge Well, in corporate terms, it's your ability to ask, what's really going on here. Is this a moment to challenge or to listen? Is this my gut or a trauma response? Discernment is what helps you stay you while still being strategic. It's not always about being right. It's about noticing patterns, pausing, listening, responding with your values in mind. And for women, especially those of us conditioned to ignore our instincts, this can be really hard, and the problem is we think discernment means getting it right every time, but that pressure only makes those signals, that discernment, that voice quieter. Discernment grows with practice. The more you try, the clearer it gets. The self trust gets stronger and the decision making gets sharper. And guess what you are playing? Of the game. You're playing office politics. You are opting in, and you are doing it well, and you are not giving up a part of yourself, if anything, you choosing to be aligned with your values and your authenticity is what's going to give you that edge. Now I know what you're thinking, okay, Michelle, how do I do this? Like you've told me why it's important. What about the next and that's going to be in the next episode. Next episode. So that is where I'm going to give you tangible examples and things that you actually need to be focusing on. Today I really wanted to focus on on getting you to understand why you should opt in and why you're already doing it. So this is what I want you to take away from this episode. You are already playing the corporate game, possibly not consciously, but you are playing it. There are unspoken rules in every workplace, and understanding them doesn't make you fake. It makes you effective. Most women are sitting in one of the three camps, if I would say mostly two, the avoiders, overthinkers, over players. Knowing where you land is going to help you move with clarity, and the biggest takeaway is discernment. This is the ability to read the room, trust your gut, gut, and respond without self abandoning. It's your powerful skill, and it's just something you're going to grow over time. You don't need to speak the loudest, you don't need to change who you are. You just need to start noticing and you're already on your way. So look, if this episode hit home, share it with another woman who's navigating the same stuff. And again, if you want more straight talking support like this, join my email list. It's where I'm going to share stuff that I wish someone told me earlier, survival tips, power plays and real talk for navigating corporate without losing yourself. So you'll find the link in my show notes, and you've got this and I've got you. I'll see you in the next two weeks. Bye. You.