How to Navigate Office Politics Without Selling Your Soul (Part 2)

You don’t need to fake it to get ahead.

Once you know the rules of the corporate game, the next step is learning to play it strategically—without feeling gross, fake, or performative. Because visibility shouldn’t mean losing yourself.

In this episode:

•  6 simple ways to build authentic influence and credibility
•  How to make your work visible (without bragging)
•  What pre-meetings actually are and why they change everything
•  How to grow your influence through self-compassion, not self-criticism

This is Part 2 of the Office Politics series — practical strategies for getting noticed, promoted, and respected, all while staying true to who you are.

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⚠️ Disclaimer:   This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or psychological advice. Any stories, examples, or scenarios discussed are illustrative and may be composites or anonymised accounts. They do not refer to any specific individual, client, workplace, or organisation. 

Transcript

Michelle Kevill: 0:37

Hello, my corporate survivalists. How are you? And welcome to today's episode. So as you know, this is your corporate Survival Guide, and it's a podcast that's designed specifically for high achieving corporate women like you who want to navigate the corporate world confidently without burning out, selling out or losing touch with their authentic self. Now this is part two to the two part episode that I'm doing around office politics and playing the corporate games. So if you have not listened to the first episode, I want you to go back and listen to that one first as it really is laying the foundation for everything that we're going to talk about today. Because in that episode, I am unpacking the mindset shift that you need to develop to navigate politics without selling out, and understanding what the corporate game really is and why avoiding it doesn't actually protect you. So a really quick short version of it and still go back and listen to it, but really what I was emphasizing in that episode is a corporate game. It's not actually a game. Think of it more like a culture or a language, and chances are you are definitely participating it in it more than you think. Because if you are a high achieving corporate woman, especially if you're neurodivergent, you have been socialized 100% to read the room over, deliver, anticipate what others need and monitor your own behavior, all of which are core to unwritten rules of office dynamics, so you don't need to become someone else, which is what a lot of my clients and people tell me when they are playing the corporate game. I am just trying to help you to become more purposefully aware and strategic of what you're already doing and use it to make it work for you, not against you. And this isn't about core um, gossip or playing mind games. It's about being receptive to the culture you're in and making conscious, con, my God, conscious, empowered choices within it. So in this episode, we're going to get very practical. I am going to show you exactly how to strategically start playing the corporate game without feeling gross fake or compromising your integrity. So I'm going to actually walk you through six key things you can start doing and applying immediately. They are subtle yet very impactful ways to actually build authentic influence, get noticed and pave your path towards getting a promotion. Okay, so you don't need to implement these like all at once. You can just start where you're at, choose one, test it out. But these shifts are really they're not just about feeling more confident. They're also about getting noticed, getting promoted, and just creating more impact without slaving away at things that you don't need to be doing that aren't going to move the needle. So when you apply these, you're not necessarily working harder. You're going to be working smarter and making your value more visible in ways that are actually going to get you rewarded. And guys, these are simple, small things that you are, I feel already doing. You just need to be more strategic about it and more focused. So I'm going to take you through six things. One, I'm going to show you how to shape how people see you without selling out or being like a fake corporate salesy person. Build credibility early so you can, like, run smoother meetings. How To Track Your wins so you're seen and promoted faster in a way that isn't super icky and gross, how to speak in their language. I'm talking about like senior stakeholders to make your ideas learn better, how to get seen more regularly again without being loud or fake, and figure out what's actually working for you and get better without being an absolute dick to yourself, because what I see a lot of the times is a lack of reflection that comes from a place of self compassion versus beating yourself up being like, I'm shit at this. I don't know how to do it. And the whole idea why I'm running or creating this whole series that really is touching a lot on this is because what I'm seeing a lot of with my clients and people who and my audience who I'm speaking to, is this need to want to, like play the game, so to speak, but not lose their authentic self. And I totally get it, as someone who has been there and gone through that. You don't have to do that. And whole aim for the corporate Survival Guide is literally to touch on the real stuff that I feel no one freaking talks about at work like what I had my three part series before about grooming, dynamics, office politics, but saying it in a way that resonate with neurodivergent people like you who want to cut the corporate fluff, get to the real truth and not feel that they have to, like, lose themselves or keep masking all the time. Okay, so let's get into the first one. Number one is shaping how people see you without selling out. Okay, I know you're thinking this isn't like some cheesy advice about, like, changing your tone or using, like, a deeper voice to be taken seriously. That is not what we're doing here. What we. Are doing is asking this question to yourself, how do you want to be perceived? What kind of reputation Do you want to have at work? Some people call this your brand, and I get it, and I also hate that word, because we're people, we're not products, but all it really means is what version of you and all your authenticity of who you are and your amazing strengths. What do you want to represent when you're not necessarily in the room? What do you want people to be thinking about you? And this isn't about putting on some fake, shiny corporate mask, I really, really want to emphasize. It's about bringing your strengths to the surface on purpose, making sure the parts of you that are brilliant, your clarity, your amazing empathy, your strategy, your insight, they don't get buried under overwork, vagueness or playing it small. So it's about pausing and honestly reflecting on these three questions, how do I genuinely want to be perceived? How am I realistically being perceived now, and what is one manageable shift that I can implement immediately to align the two now, if this reflection is stirring something super uncomfortable in you, do not panic, but I do want you to pay attention to that. I want you to look at what you wrote down in your answers above. Is it something like, you know, I want everyone to adore me and hang off every word, or you probably won't write that. But something along those lines, if it's something along those lines, it's really worth noticing where your insecurity may be driving this vision. And by the way, that is not a bad thing. If also me saying insecurity is triggering you, it's totally fine. It's just something to become aware of, because if your perception is built on a deeper insecurity that you're not aware of, you're always going to be chasing external proof that you're enough, and when that proof doesn't show up, your confidence will feel fragile. Instead, I want you to more get tangible and objective if you want to be seen as, like, clear and concise, ask yourself, are you using too many words? Are you over explaining in meetings? If so, just start with that and refine just a bit by bit. So I want you to get very objective with these questions, not like high level like, I want everyone to think I'm doing great all the time. If that's what it is, deep down, you likely have a root thought playing out for me. My root thought has always been I am not good enough, and that would show up in so many different ways. And if I wasn't getting the external validation from my managers, stakeholders, people around me, then I would feel absolutely terrible. And this is where later on in the podcast episode, I will go through how to be like less of a dick, and also some episodes that'll actually help, um, touch on this as well. But keep listening to find out a little bit more about that, because they are the deeper mindset that I used to go a lot more into in the earlier episodes, which are still available, which I'll share with you, which will help with that, and then that will inform you being more objective in this now, because it's not about being a dick to yourself, it's just noticing little shifts that you can do. Again, it's not about being perfect. It's choosing to show up as a version of you that already exists on purpose. That's all it is. Okay. So the next one is how to build some credibility really early and run smoother meetings. So I will be honest, because if you okay, if you're the type of person that sees other people run meetings and it's like, everyone's super aligned, and everything is fine and working really well, and then your meetings aren't working well, and you're having, like, lots of back and forth, and things are getting delayed. Let me in on a little secret that I never knew people were doing behind the scenes, and they are called pre meetings. And when I first found out people were doing this, I was like, Are you kidding me? Are you telling me there are whole other meetings happening before the main meeting, I was shook, and it felt like a whole goddamn secret part of the corporate world that no one had explained to me. I just thought it was, I still think, to an extent, is ridiculous. I couldn't understand why people were having multiple small meetings just to prepare for the real one. Like, is that not the point of the main meeting to figure things out and make decisions. And let me explain to you why. Now it settles so much more with me because I've realized the truth. Okay, so this is how I explain it to people. Now, the actual meeting that you have, the main one, especially when it comes to like senior stakeholders are involved, etc, that is not the space for the messy exploration or real time decision making, unless it's a working group, which I'll go into a little bit later. Think of it like a final performance, and people want alignment, consistency and a polished, little clean look, even if the conversation before all the main meetings were anything but that. But for norida. Urgent people like yourself, this really matters, because you may process things in real time, while others need time to think, think things through. You might be direct and like you're clear on getting that alignment like straight away, but others might need to feel safe to do that. So if you want an idea to land. Or, if you're driving alignment on something really tricky, having some check ins beforehand can change the absolute game. So if you are having these pre meetings, right? So think of it as, like the, what's it called? Oh, my God. You know, like, if the main meeting is the final performance for, like a stage performance. The pre meetings are just you doing. I have completely forgotten what the word is. It came to me the rehearsals, pre meetings are rehearsals. And this is what I want to make difference to, like a working group. Sometimes I'll have, like a working group, which are, like, short, 30 minute meetings, and you're like, trying to flesh something out. But usually there'll be, like, this main one that you're having with everyone there. And if you think some of your ideas aren't going to land exactly well with other people, you may just want to align with them beforehand. This isn't you being manipulative. Okay, unless manipulation is your goal, here, you're being strategic. You're helping people feel safe, prepared and looped in. It is saving everyone from having the awkward, reactive, messy play out with seeing your eyes watching this is the rehearsal that you were doing before the play. And if you are coming from a place of genuine empathy, like, hey, you know, I heard about this thing, a you had Y view on it, I wanted to explore that a little more than you. This is what we're looking for? What are you looking for? People will sense that genuineness in you, and I just know it for the you know, the high achieving, high empathy women like yourself, 100% that is going to shine through for a lot of this, like, feels too much. Remember again, this doesn't have to be complicated. This can be a simple, quick message, like a genuine check in, just like, Hey, just wanted to run something by you get your thoughts beforehand. It is not about playing some manipulative game. It's about understanding that everyone processes things differently, and you're creating space to find common ground. And that is true leadership. And at the end of the day, it's a job, and getting alignment, even in small human ways can make the job easier for everyone involved. And I share this because I wish I knew this at the very start of my freaking corporate career, because it would have made so many of my meetings so much easier just having small, little pre meetings or check ins with people just to align so things go smoothly in the main meeting, it makes such a such a small thing, such a big difference. And I used to think again that it was like stupid to do that, but then when I started to realize that people react differently. Not everyone is like me, and that's fine. People react differently when they're front and center with everyone around them. So you can create that space for that to come out and to create that alignment behind the scenes so that it's showing up even better, and again, you are creating a very smooth meeting, and you'll be known for that. Okay, the next one is super important, and not enough women do this, and I want you to be tracking your wins so you're seen and you'll be promoted faster. Now, I know speaking up about your accomplishments can feel super awkward or self centered. But here is the truth, your manager and your manager's manager and manager's manager's manager is not living in your world. You are in your deep work. You're solving problems. You're never getting blockers, and you're handling, likely, the invisible labor that makes everything wrong. Meanwhile, your boss is juggling as well competing priorities, probably managing, maybe, I don't know, up from like six to 40 people, depending what level they're at, fighting political fires at their level, and trying to hit their strategy goals and that like you're not seeing day to day. They are not ignoring you out of malice. They just genuinely cannot see the detail of what you're doing, unless you show it to them. Once you realize this self promotion becomes less about your ego and feeling like you're showing off, and more about making the invisible work that you do visible, and this shift makes a huge difference, because it's going to help you remove the shame or cringe around speaking up because you are not bragging. You're translating value for someone who's not close enough to see it clearly. Okay? I want you like, I really want you to remember that they freaking love this. They eat it up. You want to know why? Then they again. They're fighting political fire. So when you're saying like, Hey, do you know you've copied the name to this note or this project that's gone really well. Freaking love that, because they're going to report it back to their people. See, look at what my team's doing here. Really need you to see it as like you are one of 12 children, and they're almost like your parents, and you're fighting for their attention, and it is sometimes just being the loudest is going to be like you. When it comes down to promotions and all of that, they're like, Yeah, I remember this person because they told me about this, this and this, and they've done those things. It's just it is what it is. And yes, as well, your manager should be advocating for you as well. And I am probably going to do an episode on this at some point, around how to work with that. Because obviously there is like navigating some of the politics around that in itself, but you also need to be somewhat responsible for your own projects and things that you're doing and then shifting that to the surface. Okay, so this is what I want you to start doing each week. I just want you to document exactly what you achieved. Achieved. Oh, my God, I cannot speak today, and I'm not going to re record every time. So what did you achieve? Right? What did you like? What did you do, but also the specific results you delivered and the impact these outcomes had on broader business goals. This is so freaking important. The amount of my clients who are like, Yeah, I optimized this report, and I'm like, So fucking what. Your boss doesn't give a shit about you optimizing the report, but if you say it's decreased errors by 30% it saved my team five hours a week, which means it's increased x KPI by 10% been frickin tastic. They eat that up. This isn't boasting. It's about being strategically visible. It's making your contributions crystal clear, demonstrating your value and your promotability. Over time, this practice will build your confidence and make your annual reviews or performance conversations so much easier. You need to start building this habit and start to focus on articulating as clear as you can how this related to, you know, X KPI, or what value it brought, because that is what they really care about, because that feeds into their own goals and stuff like that. Your work, if you honestly, if you hate promoting yourself, I just want you to remember they're like a proud mom, almost of like their kid doing all these amazing things that they get to show off, right? Because your win is their win. They want to hear about their win. They will put their win that their team has done in their own like, end of year review, okay? They want to hear about what you are doing. They need it to come up to the surface, to how many times every What is it, every quarter or every mid year, it's like guys, what have we done? What are the things blah, blah? Because they need to share that to the top. Be the person that's already doing that and pulling it together. Okay, so number four is being able to speak in their language to make your ideas land. Okay, so what do I mean by this? Even your most brilliant ideas can fall completely flat. If stakeholders do not understand the value or what you are actually trying to say, you may be crystal clear in your head, but if the person across from you is speaking in, say, like a different dialect, it won't land, right? So imagine you're in Spain, and you're trying to convince someone in like a rural village to approve like a train line through their town. You cannot just show them your city plans and just start rattling off around engineering metrics in English, right? Like you've got to understand what they care about so they are supportive. Maybe it's jobs, tourism, protecting like farmland, like speak in a way that resonates with them, right? And it's the same for work. Okay, if senior stakeholders are caring about KPI strategy, timelines, risk like, that's it. So when you are pitching an idea, don't just give them your vibe or how it would resonate in your area. Give them what they care about. And this is like the best metaphor that my own coach years ago gave me when it came to actually, like, marketing, selling and a little bit around corporate as well, and it was like a pizza metaphor. So she was saying, how, like, look, it's like, you have a pizza shop, and you're advertising that, hey, you know, I have, I make pizza, buy a pizza, right? People walk in and they're like, Yeah, I love a pizza. And you hand them dough, tomato sauce and some cheese and like, a spoon, and then you're getting super confused as to why no one is buying your pizza and they're walking out. But that is the thing. You didn't give them a pizza, you gave them ingredients, and then they, like, made them work for it. So it's the same thing. Like, you think you've made the pizza, you haven't made the pizza, you've given them some ingredients. Your value isn't obvious to senior leaders. If they have to work to connect the dots, they may just move on, because, again, they're dealing with like, cognitive load as well, right? Like, they're in back to back meetings. They're like, what is going on? I'm trying to pull out political fires. Your job is to assemble the damn pizza. Instead of saying, like, you know, hey, it improves morale. It's like, this reduces X and supports this for our q3 targets. Translate Your passion into things that they care about, fully assemble it, serve it hot. And that's how you get buy in. And now I know what you're gonna say. You might be thinking, okay, Michelle, but how, like, how do I do that? So you. Here are two things that you can do. I want you to figure, Figure out what they actually care about. Hint it is always their freaking goals, KPIs, revenue retention, efficiency risk, if you're not sure, look at what gets talked about in your senior meetings or reported like up the line. And then the second thing I want you to do is to dumb it the fuck down, okay? And I say that with love, I want you to keep it simple, like really, really simple. These people are in back to back meetings all day long. Again, cognitive load is completely maxed out. They do not have the time or energy to decipher your 10 slide analytical masterpiece. Okay? Especially we work in data analytics, and I have an analytics background, which is why I say this because we love a dense pack of insights with like, 100 charts, caveats and call outs, but no, like that is where sometimes the work dies in a pile of unread attachments. I want you to keep it sharp, relevant, make it so stupidly easy for them to say, Yes, keep it super, super simple, and then in the appendix, have all of that, have all the deeper analysis. And then, obviously, yes, you would change this up a little bit depending on your audience, right? If you're working with someone from marketing versus someone from analytics, like, it's going to be a little bit different, but that is how you can start doing it. And I know they sound super simple, but they are simple. It's just about practice. And I'm going to, again, get to the part where I tell you how to get better at reflecting in a way that comes from self compassion, so you can keep moving the needle forward, instead of being like, Oh, I'm not doing it well, and I just want to stop. Okay. The next one is, how do you get seen regularly without being like, super loud or fake? Oh, my God, fake. All right. So you have your little like, I call it like a brag book, right? You're documenting what you're doing every single week, right? Maybe you know how to smooth out meetings, and you've got a clearer sense of what you want your reputation to be. But how do you actually get that out into the world and be seen? Well, visibility doesn't require you to be the loudest voice in the room. It's not about constantly talking or inserting yourself into everything, or following this old school advice that I heard from like the 2010s which was like, never leave a meeting without asking a question. And it's like that can sometimes lead to performative noise. Instead, think about being intentional. You do not need to speak at every meeting, but when you do speak, try to say something meaningful. Listen first, contribute with context and absolutely highlight your work when it's complete or something major lands. But you can do it in a way that doesn't feel fake. It can be subtle. It might look like calling out someone's contribution in a way that, like, naturally highlights your own as well, or presenting something alongside someone else, or, like casually dropping it into a conversation. Like, actually, I worked on something similar when I was at x, and we tackled it by doing y. And I know it's like, it sounds cringy, but it's only cringy, unless you make it sound rehearsed or inauthentic. And here is the thing, with all the women that I am working with, you have such a deep sense of empathy. You care so much about what you do and your work that it won't come off inauthentic, because you are a genuine person, right? So I want you to start small and build from there. If the idea of sending out an email right of look what I did, makes you want to vomit and disappear into the floor, don't do that. I want you to instead try or write like every company has some sort of like a recognition thing. All right, we can recognize or shout out a colleague right quietly, also mention your part in the project that you are like shouting out on, or just mention your contribution casually to your manager and your one on one. And don't forget your boss and their boss and that boss's boss loves this stuff. Your win reflects really well on them. They are literally looking for good stories to tell up the chain. So when you share something meaningful, you're not being a burden. You're giving them fuel. Just do it in a way that's authentic, and what that looks like is gonna be different for everyone, and that is okay, and this is where part six, figuring out what's working and getting better without being a dick to yourself or like self reflection with compassion is so important. Is why I left it as like the last step, because a lot of you don't even want to be strategic in the first place, and some of the stuff that I'm saying may make you want to vomit, and it's not because you're lazy or incapable. It could be because, like part of you is judging every action you take, every word you say before it even lands. And that is not discernment, all right, or good use of judgment. That is just you being a dick to yourself, because that could be the only thing you know how to beat. So I want the shift to be more reflecting from a place of self compassion. So would you say some of the things you say to yourself, like to a friend, instead of saying, like, Oh, I'm always messing up in meetings. It's like, okay, they didn't quite understand what I'm saying. Maybe next time I'll, like, draft out a timeline to guide the discussion. That is the tone, and that is how you build better judgment through kindness, not constant shame, because when you are reflecting from a grounded, self led place, you can grow and adapt without spiraling, and also you not need always someone to validate you. You can build this on your own. You're allowed to notice what went well and what didn't, and what you're trying next time without making it mean that you're broken. Okay, so to recap, here are some six tangible things you can start doing to start playing the corporate game with purpose and without selling out. So one is getting clear on how you want to be seen and making sure it's not driven by insecurity. And I'm going to recommend some episodes in a second and asking yourself those questions, how do I want to be perceived? How am I realistically being perceived? And what's one manageable shift I can start to implement to align those two the next is rehearsals before the big final performance. Ie the big meeting. Have little mini pre meetings so you know, don't get blindsided. Everyone's aligned. You do the big performance, it goes really well. I want you to start documenting every week what you're doing. Create your brag book so you can start making your work visible. Remember, your boss is freaking busy. They are managing 12 screaming children. I'm not saying you're a child. You get what I mean. Start to see it that way. You need to make yourself more visible, more seen. They want to see you. You need to learn to sell your ideas like a pizza, not a raw pile of ingredients. One, who are they? What do they want to hear like? What do they want to see? What do they care about? And two, dumb it the fuck down. Okay, they are dealing with so many things in the cognitive load, the more simple and clearer you can get leadership. Are going to notice that that is going to help with promotions into newer roles. The next one is again, make yourself visible in your own authentic way that builds credibility. It does not need to be a loud email. It can be little side comments that is fine. Work out what's best gonna suit you. Okay, and very, very freaking important, please start reflecting from a place of self compassion, not shame, so you can grow without spiraling All right. This is how you build discernment or good judgment, when you objectively look at, okay, what can I do better? Not from a place of I hate myself, but from a place of, what can I do to grow you are being like your own mentor or manager, and you can do that now. I want you to pick one of these during the week and just do it. Okay, just give it a go. Just pick one and just try it and let me know how you go. And if you're struggling, I love to hear from all my audience, and sometimes I give them little tips on the side, if you are struggling with a lot of this and it's bringing up a lot of thoughts and feelings for you that make you want to vomit, I got you. I want you to go back to my earlier episodes and listen to these three. The first one is just, I just want you to type this in, because some of these have numbers, but my God, I've done so many episodes so one give yourself more self compassion. Okay, it goes into why you might be feeling uncomfortable, and how does, how, Oh, my God, how to start practicing this and really reducing that harsh critic. The next one is, fuck self improvement. Okay, I am discussing a lot of pitfalls of the self improvement industry and how to separate your personal worth from constant self betterment. So if you feel the pressure to constantly be improving and you constantly need reassurance, go to that episode, and the third one is the truth about results, why your thoughts aren't everything. This is a fantastic episode if you are already into self help and coaching concepts, and you take them a little bit too literally, and it leads to self criticism. So I'm going to offer you how to integrate this more into your daily life and really reduce the self judgment. And a bonus tip for anyone who's super new, I want you to go back to the very freaking beginning of my podcast and listen to the first three episodes. They are going to really help you understand the concept that I was just sharing with you around your root thoughts, once you can realize the key thought that is driving everything that you are doing, and it is always one, but it wears different masks, like mine. I'm not good enough. Holy freaking shit. You can change your whole life, like I did. If you listen to my really early episodes, I talk about my whole goddamn thing that I went through, how I almost was about to quit my job, I found coaching a life coach, and how I really changed myself from there, and I am living a completely different life. Listen to those episodes. It's going to give you so much power to be able to see how you're kind of getting in your own way and change from there. Okay, I know this was a really. 80 episode, but I really wanted to go into it, and I'm really excited, because I love sharing this in a way for neurodivergent, high achieving corporate women, that it just gets through the fluff, and it just tells you these are the types of things that you can be doing. And hey, you can do it your way. You don't need to keep fucking masking. I want you to bring your authentic self to work if you want more No BS tips, game changing strategies and the occasional like tough love pep talk, I want you to subscribe to my emails. Check in the show notes, Instagram, Tiktok, you can find me Okay. Thank you for listening. Keep choosing new and remember you can authentically navigate this and succeed in the corporate game. I'll see you in the next two weeks.