.jpeg)
Saying it outloud!
Saying it outloud!
Car Chronicles EP 3: Wasted Potential & Bloody Pockets: Why We Keep Cutting Ourselves
Trauma shapes us in ways we rarely understand, manifesting uniquely for each person while establishing patterns that can limit our potential for decades. Whether it comes from childhood poverty, bullying experiences, or feeling overwhelmed by adult responsibilities, these wounds create protective mechanisms that might have served us once but now keep us trapped.
My own journey through childhood financial struggles, being "the stinky kid" in school, and later confronting my habit of abandoning pursuits at the first sign of difficulty revealed how deeply these patterns run. I realized I had wasted potential in so many areas—from saxophone playing to language learning to photography—because unaddressed trauma had programmed me to quit rather than push through discomfort. The only pursuit where I've maintained consistency has been fitness, which ironically has become my path to helping others break similar cycles.
This is why effective fitness coaching must go beyond sets and reps to address the emotional intelligence that drives behavior. When clients struggle with consistency, it's rarely about the program itself. Rather, it's about years of accumulated stress, relationship difficulties, work pressure, and unresolved emotions making everything seem more overwhelming than it actually is. True transformation comes from tracing problems to their roots, developing a higher threshold for stress, and finding purpose through honest self-reflection. There's a profound difference between taking a vacation and running from your life—one refreshes you while the other perpetuates cycles of avoidance. Which are you currently doing? The answer might reveal exactly what's holding you back from the breakthrough you've been seeking.
Follow us on IG:
@leos_ftiness_adventure
@Stephmoralessfit
@teamvalhallaathletics
Apply for 1:1 coaching and get the results you are looking for: https://www.valhalla-athletics.com
Join our free Facebook group:
https://m.facebook.com/groups/804195770472212/?ref=group_browse
Yes, sir, you know what that means. It means we are back on the road. We actually just got back from Puerto Rico. Nice little trip. She drills up there every month. This time I was able to go with her While she was at work. I spent a lot of time with my mother-in-law. She just took me around the island, took me to the beaches and we was hanging out. We have a lot of stuff in common, so it was a good time. Got a little tan, had a little food, had a little fun. Of course, we got the workout in and now we back at it. We got a New Orleans trip coming up Soon. We got a New Orleans trip coming up soon, and then we got a wedding that we're going to in Ohio. So looking forward to all of that.
Speaker 1:But with that being said, I want to hop into this episode Because I've been thinking about this a lot recently and it's really something that a lot of people don't want to acknowledge, they don't want to talk about, they just want to let it fester and rot and then it just starts to eat away at you from the inside and that, my friends, is trauma, and I feel like trauma is starts at a young age for pretty much everybody, and everybody experiences trauma differently, so something that could traumatize me may not traumatize you. So we're all unique in that aspect and I feel like a lot of adults nowadays who experience trauma throughout their years haven't healed from it and they either don't know how, don't want to, or don't feel like there's anything wrong with them. And most of the time I believe it's people just don't feel like there's anything wrong with them and they should just be accepted for who they are, no matter what their circumstance is. And you already know my stance on that. I don't believe in that at all. I believe in working on yourself, improving yourself for the betterment of society, so everybody can get better. Now, with that being said, trauma, a lot of my traumas. You know I've actually spoken with two psychiatrists because I had to talk to a psychiatrist for my PTSD.
Speaker 1:And we got into my childhood how I was raised and we weren't. I guess we were pretty much impoverished. You know we weren't by any means financially good to go and my mother had to work multiple jobs to fund our extracurricular activities. And my father-in-law, or stepdad, father-in stepdad he had to work long hours to make sure we had a roof over our head, but that didn't leave a lot of money for everything else. So that whole notion of being raised on bread and bologna, yeah, that was me. That was me and my three other brothers, that was us on a day-to-day, eating ramen noodles, syrup sandwiches, you name it. We did it and, thankfully enough, during that time, you know, we I had three other brothers, so we always played with each other outside. You know, we spent a lot of time using our imaginations other outside, you know, we spent a lot of time using our imaginations. And then, when you know, gaming consoles start to get bigger, we had, you know, we had all of them Super Nintendo, n64, gamecube. But we spent more time doing activities as brothers and I think that saved me from experiencing you know, the generation with the generation nowadays is experiencing being in front of a screen and just absorbing everything, dude, I mean, from news to social media.
Speaker 1:Just they're absorbing all of it. I think it just forces a worldview that may not be realistic onto people, because the algorithms are set up to show you what you constantly want to see, and just because you're constantly watching something doesn't mean it's true. So you could be constantly watching things that aren't truthful or they're fabricated, and then you form an opinion based on that reality, and nowadays that's what the generation is having to deal with and it really warps your reality and it makes you hate people a lot more, especially the ones that don't view the world the same way you view it and, like I just said, the world that you're viewing could be an entirely fabricated reality, and that's why a lot of people need to get outside of their eco chambers and realize that the world is a very different place than with the news and what's on social media, because we all have skeletons in our closet and these people that you see on social media, that you worship, they don't care about you, dude. They just want their followers to get as high as they can so they can get more fame. They all experience the same trauma, the same problems. They're all going through something, just like we are, which is why a lot of these famous people end up, you know, unfortunately committing suicide. Because I mean, how long can you pretend, how long can you just let that stuff fester before it just consumes you, you know? And some of these people form these personalities online and they're afraid of letting people see the real them, so they keep up the facade no matter what and I know it eats away at your soul. It really does because you can't just pretend to be somebody else your entire life, which is why I harp so much on doing the internal work so you can be okay with being you, because once you are okay with being you, the world is such a bigger place and you just feel safe because you're you and you don't have to worry about meeting somebody and pretending to be somebody you're not. So, like I said, trauma is. You know, when I was going through my childhood and I've talked about this on Instagram, you know I got, I think, six or seven 20-minute videos discussing my past life, but I'll put a little bit here too.
Speaker 1:When I was growing up, going through school, I got Bullied, you know, typical Typical game bully, because I was the stinky kid. I was a kid. I didn't shower, I had messy hair, I always wore the same clothes, I wasn't clean, hygienic by any means. I don't even know how I have friends, to be honest with you. I played Magic the Gathering, played Yu-Gi-Oh, played Pokemon cards. I was in the marching band. I did all that stuff. That's what I got picked on and it wasn't an issue for me. Marching band, I did all that stuff, so I got picked on and it wasn't an issue for me. Well, I didn't see it as an issue or didn't realize how much it would actually affect me, but I never went through any phases in high school like emo, goth, whatever other phases kids went through. I was myself the entire time, just took different forms of myself, and when I finally left high school was going through a period of time where I was working making my own money, and that's when I assumed responsibilities and had to deal with a different world entirely, because now that you're out of high school, you have responsibilities. I had to drive to work, make sure I got to work on time. I had to interact. I worked at Academy Sports and Outdoors team sports. I had to interact with customers on a day-to-day basis, and with that comes learning how to be an adult.
Speaker 1:But also brings different trials and traumas into your life, because those childhood traumas that you may not have seen as an issue growing up and never were dealt with they start to show themselves in your behaviors how you act around other people, how you act with your girlfriend, your boyfriend, how your relationship is, how your relationship is, how your work is, how your attitude is, how you deal with stress. They start to manifest and you can really tell who's been wounded more than someone else by the way they carry themselves in public or by the way they interact with you, by the way their customer with you, by the way their customer service is, by how they talk to other people. You can really tell who's been wounded and isn't doing any type of internal work. And my way that I've always dealt with trauma is humor and I made jokes about I probably made jokes literally about everything and that's just how I dealt with the pain and I didn't know if that was the right way or the wrong way. But there'd be nights where I'd be driving and I would just be so overwhelmed with emotion because I'm 18, bro, like I'm 18 years old in this world, and I have no idea who I want to be, what I want to do, where I'm going. I'm just literally just existing and it's overwhelming.
Speaker 1:And then all the past stuff gets brought up my, my ex-girlfriend dealing with her relationship and breaking up with her, or her breaking up with me, I should say and getting fired from my job. Well, I, but they wanted to fire me. You can just see how fast the world that you were living can just be decimated in an instant. And now you have to pick up all the pieces and move on Like there's no. You feel like there's no time to stop and catch your breath. And people continue to live like that into their adult years. They just pick the pieces up, they don't catch your breath and they just move on. And all those pieces that you're carrying around you know it's like broken glass is just cutting you. You get into a new relationship and you haven't cleaned up, clean out your pockets, so you still have those pieces in. So every time you put your hand into your pocket you're cutting yourself because you haven't healed. So you're still doing the same things that you did in the previous relationship and now the new person that you're with, they have the same, you know. They have the same issue. They have traumas and demons that they're fighting as well, and so now you're two bloodied up people trying to help each other when you can't even help yourselves. So I'm saying all that to say this Trauma.
Speaker 1:However you want to see it, don't be ashamed of it, because there are things that we had no idea were bad for us when we were kids. However, we were raised is how we were raised. We didn't know if it was the right way of being raised or the wrong way of being raised. So, whatever happened to you probably thought that because mommy and daddy are doing it, there's no way that they would want to hurt me, and you just went with it. And so when we get older, we find out that you know, we probably weren't raised.
Speaker 1:Some of us I'm not saying me probably weren't raised with the best intentions in mind, and then you realize, man, they really effed me up. But then you become ashamed and you blame yourself for not being able to prevent any of it, and I think people feel ashamed. Therefore, they are more reluctant to bring up their trauma, and so, therefore, it just stays suppressed and it's like venom in their body and it's just eating away at them. And a lot of people want to talk about it. They want to get it off their chest, but they don't want to be embarrassed. And that's the biggest key is giving people a place. But hey, we've all been through something in life, some of us way worse than others, but regardless, like I said in the beginning, something that may be traumatizing to you may not be traumatizing to me, but it's trauma all the same and it manifests in the body all the same as venom, and if you don't excrete that venom, it is going to eat you alive.
Speaker 1:And this is what gets in the way of a lot of people completing or doing anything in their life. I literally had this conversation with Stephanie the other day when I was telling her I was like man, I've literally wasted so much of my potential because I would pick something up, I would start doing it and then it wouldn't work. And I would start doing it and then it wouldn't work. And I was. I just I just stopped. Like, when I first got into photography and videography, I loved taking pictures. I thought it was the coolest thing ever, just how you could take a picture free, something in time, and then you can manipulate it However you please to make it look better or add stuff to it. It's just so cool to think that you can actually do that and then you know you put it into. Or when I got to videography, after effects and adobe premiere, how you can just create, you can just make stuff. I'm like man, this is the coolest thing ever and I just stopped and that's bro, that's literally that's how my life has been. And I was looking back on that and I was like I hate, I hate that so much.
Speaker 1:And that stems back to my childhood, when I was freaking, when I was in the, when I was in band, I played the alto saxophone and I didn't practice. I never practiced, bro, and not practicing I was. You know, I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I was pretty good at the saxophone and I didn't practice. So I never moved up. I was always. I think it was concert two and I wanted to play. I wanted to be in Symphony One so bad.
Speaker 1:But I didn't want to practice. I wanted to play video games. Okay, that's what I wanted to do. I didn't want to practice. I wanted to play World of Warcraft. I sunk three years of my life into that game, wasted my potential. I could have been an amazing saxophone player had I just put in the time. I didn't want to do it.
Speaker 1:Just like with Spanish. I took Spanish Two years of more high school, but I didn't want to practice. I just stopped. And now. Now look, I got a freaking Puerto Rican wife and now I have to relearn Spanish. Oh, now I am relearning Spanish, but it's like man. I could have already been speaking Spanish, and it's just things like that, man.
Speaker 1:And it really bothers me that I've always just stopped doing things and just wasted my potential. The only thing that I haven't stopped doing is the gym. That's the one thing I've been consistent with. Stop doing is the gym. That's the one thing I've been consistent with, and I've been. I'm actually stronger now at 35 than I was my younger ages, so that's freaking good. But yeah, so that's what I'm saying. And it's like man. I feel like freaking. I feel so stupid because I get mad at myself. It's like, ok, but you can't do anything about it now. So now we, now that you're aware of you're wasting your potential we shift focus and we stop wasting our potential. And that's what I'm trying to do now. I'm trying to actually put forth my full effort into something and see how far I can go with it. And now I want to transfer that over into fitness, because, at the end of the day, I am a fitness coach and I do want people to reach their full potential. So check this out.
Speaker 1:Think about all the traumas that you've been through in life. Ok, now think about you coming into a fitness coaching program that forces you to change your entire lifestyle, lifestyle. How complex and difficult do you think that is? To somebody who's not used to organization, someone who's not used to doing new things, doing different things, it can be overwhelming, but it's only overwhelming because you have so much going on in your body and in your mind that it seems overwhelming that's the key phrase here seems overwhelming, but in reality it's not overwhelming because the coaching program is organized and planned out specifically for your lifestyle and it's a step-by-step process.
Speaker 1:But all of the unchecked trauma, all of the stress and everything that's going on in your life is making the program seem like it's the bad guy, when it's not. The program is created to help you organize your life, feel better, get the body you want, get stronger, get healthier. But it's your traumas, your urges, your habits, your vices, your work stress, your relationship stress, your friendship stress. If you have kids, your kids stress, the years and years and years of damage you've done to your body from crash dieting, fad dieting, not knowing how to diet correctly, the years and years and years that you've been on and off the gym all of that that makes it seem like the program is so complex.
Speaker 1:And this is why I say and it's important to understand that you have to know why you don't like something. You have to know why you don't like something. You have to know why you don't want to do something and you need to know why that it's bothering you, because if you can't trace it to the root, everything's going to bother you forever. So, like I said, with my potential, I can trace it all the way back to my childhood. I know exactly where it started. Like I said, with the saxophone, you've got to trace the trumpets back and then you need to.
Speaker 1:Once you're aware of them, you need to come up with a plan and work on them, which is why I switched from just straight up fitness coaching to implement more lifestyle, emotional intelligence into my coaching, because, at the end of the day, that's really what's going to give you the bang for your buck, that's what's going to transfer over into the rest of your entire life. That's what's going to help you live better, feel better, just be happier in general, because now your threshold for stress is going to be so much higher. The little things won't bother you, and that's ultimately what we're seeking. We want to get you to a point to where you're unbreakable, where stress cannot break you down anymore, and when a problem arises, you look at the problem and you're like, okay, let's get it, instead of just crumbling under the pressure and it's just. It's one of those things that you have to actively work on, because if you don't actively work on it, then you're never going to improve upon it. And people are so hesitant to sign up for a coach because, oh, I don't want to waste my money on that.
Speaker 1:Ok, what have you been wasting your money on for the last 20 years? Where has your money gone? Has anything that you spent money on helped you get better? You might have temporarily felt good, but has it helped you get better to the point to where it has established a foundation, has instilled habits into you, has instilled goals into you. You now have principles that you live by. Your moral compass is updated. You now have a set of values. These are things that you need. You know a purpose in life. What is your purpose? All the money in the world you spend is not going to help you find your purpose. What's going to help you find your purpose is going inside yourself and asking yourself you know, who do I want to be? Who does Leo want to be?
Speaker 1:I did this 2014, when I was stationed in Kunsan Air Base, korea. Out of that year. I was there. There was countless nights where I would stay up for hours literally talking to myself, asking myself questions like that. I was like who do I want to be? What do I want to be known for? Who do I want people to see me as? How can I get better at being a human being? This is the things that you need to do and this is what I have implemented into my coaching, because not enough people are getting reality checks, because their friends just tell them what they want to hear and not what they need to hear. That's what separates my coaching from other people's coaching.
Speaker 1:I'm going to tell you what's up. I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear. I'm going to tell you what you need to hear. But I can keep going on, and on, and on and on, and hopefully you guys are taking away some important things from these car chronicles. I know Stephanie's not with me during these, but hopefully you're learning something about yourselves and it's actually helping you, because, at the end of the day, that's all I want to do is help you see the potential in you and then tap into that potential so you can live your life to the fullest, because a lot of people want to go on vacation and there's a difference between going on vacation and running from your life. Which one are you currently doing? And with that, I'll leave it right there, and if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to like, comment and share and leave that five-star review. Until next time, see ya.