Car Chronicles EP 8: Curate The Garden Or Live In The Weeds

Ever wonder why you can know exactly what to do and still not do it? We trace that gap back to environment and nervous system safety, showing how chronic stress pushes us toward comfort and away from change. From traffic and long days to kid chaos and decision fatigue, we unpack why your brain chooses relief over reps—and how to design a life that makes follow‑through feel natural.

We walk through a practical blueprint: anchor your day with a morning routine and a wind‑down routine, then fit realistic training inside that calmer frame. Instead of forcing seven hard sessions, start with one or two 30‑minute workouts and let consistency compound. On coaching discovery calls, we gather context—work hours, training history, sleep, and preferences—and paint a clear picture of a plan that fits your actual life. Nutrition follows the same logic: build meals around foods you enjoy, use macros to make family dinners work, and keep an “emergency” menu for busy days so you never have to choose between progress and real life.

Zooming out, we challenge you to audit the big three that shape most of your environment: your relationship, your job, and your friend group. One toxic element can poison the whole garden. Prune ruthlessly. As stress falls, your head rises above water, priorities sharpen, and boundaries get easier to hold. That’s when practice turns into identity—because a safe nervous system learns, heals, and grows.

If the old plans kept stalling, it wasn’t a willpower problem. It was design. Start by curating a calmer container, then make the next change so small it’s hard to fail. If this resonated, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs a reset, and drop a quick review to help others find the show.

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Transcript

Stress, Comfort Seeking, And Avoidance

Time Management As A Calm Anchor

When Life Fights The Gym

Coaching Starts With Environment

Painting A Realistic Training Plan

Family Food And Flexible Nutrition

Nervous System Safety Enables Change

SPEAKER_00 0:03

So I had this interesting conversation today with the owner of the orchard. And she was just asking me some questions, and I was telling her about my childhood and how I got bullied in high school and stuff. And she was talking about how public schools just don't foster the right learning environment for kids. And that brought me back to what I was talking about the other day. I don't think I posted this episode yet, but a lot of people do not have the right environment that can really bring out the change in people. Because if you think about most people's lives now, especially nowadays, everybody is just stressed out all the mother freaking time. And some people stressed out far more than others. And in a stressed out environment, most people are just trying to do things to ease that stress. They are just seeking comfort. This is the reason why people do emotional eating. People do things like escape reality, alcohol. These are all ways that people seek comfort to escape the stress, just to a brief second to ease their mind from everything that's going on and everything that they're dealing with. So in an environment that is stressful, you know, trying to get someone to change is extremely difficult. And I believe that is the biggest issue for, for example, people who want to do like fitness coaching. Because like I said, most people know what their issues are. Most people know that say they want to that they're overweight, that they want to lose weight. Most people know that they should be in a gym training and all the benefits that come with it. But if you just think about the environment that some people are in and they think about all the hardships that they go through. Like, you know, I got the kids, and I gotta take the kids here, I gotta take the kids here, I gotta pick the kids up from here, I got discipline, I got work, and all those things is they think about, and then it's like, well, you know, really, can I actually, you know, like fit working out into my schedule? And what did I what did I tell you guys about time management? I I know I didn't post this one, so I'm gonna tell you now, but it's the time management piece that can help help you feel less stressful. I said, start out by building a morning routine. Start out building and then build you a bed down routine, and then throughout the rest of your day, you will you will be able to allot more of your time because you know what you're doing when you wake up in the morning and you know what you're gonna do before you go to bed. Then you have work and sleep. So outside of those, now you can allot the rest of your free time. So when people are in that stressful environment, they're not thinking about giving up their free time to go work out. They're thinking about what they can do to ease and manage their stress during that time. So like they're like, I'll finally get a break from the kids. Do you think they want to go to the gym and work out? Yeah, probably not. They're gonna want to do something that brings them comfort. Or if you have a hard day at work, you know, the last thing you want to do, which is what I'm doing right now, is driving to the gym. It's because not only is it gonna take me an hour and 30 minutes from the church to get to the gym, there's also a chance of traffic, and you get stuck in traffic. Now you're in your total time turns into two hours. So the last thing on my mind is, and I got legs today. Like, bro, do I really want to work out? And then you start getting those thoughts in your head where you try to talk yourself out of it, and you're like, oh, you can just miss a day, it'll be alright. It's you just do it next time. You start trying to talk yourself out of it. And I and that's a perfect example of the environment because right now, traffic, driving, just got off work, the environment is not really the the best for that change. And so when it comes to like I was saying, fitness coaching, you have to try to create the environment suitable for them when you're doing like the discovery call. Because when you do the discovery call, this is your opportunity to get to know them. Okay, we go through their history, what they do for work, how long they've been training, um, their goals, how long do you know what's their level of nutrition? We go through all of that to try to figure out everything about them that we can while we're on that call, and then we also want to get to try to create that environment that I'm talking about. So, say they have you know, like issues with like time, and and so we for an example of like okay, listen, this is not a race. When you sign up, we're not expecting you to go to the gym seven days out of the week. So we cuss training area based on your current lifestyle. So if you don't have a lot of time, what we can do is we'll start you out just going to the gym once or twice a week. That way you get used to it, and then you can try to start to figure out how to fit it into your schedule. And then while you're at the gym, we can make your training program, you know, 30 minutes or however however many long minutes you need. Because if it's a time management thing and you need time, we will make that time so you can get to the gym and work out and still feel like you accomplished something. So, like I like I'm saying, you create that environment in their head while you're on the discovery call, and they can place themselves in that environment while they are on the call and be like, oh, okay, well, you know, I thought it was gonna be a lot worse. You know, I thought I was gonna have to work out seven days a week and two hours out of the out of each workout section, and I mean, I'm not gonna have any time to do that because I have to do this, this, this, and this. And what you're saying, it sounds a lot better than how I previously had pictured it before we got on this call. So you paint that environment for them, and you can do that with every piece of your program. And another thing that a lot of people harp on, you know, when it comes to nutrition, it's the same thing in the environment that they live in. A lot of people have kids. So if you have kids, then you know they'll be like, oh, well, you know, I gotta cook for my kids too, and I gotta cook for my husband, and then I gotta cook for myself. And it's like, okay, nope, it's fine. We will take what you're making for everybody. If you don't want to cook excess meals, we will take what you're making for everybody, and we will try to make it work for your meal plan. Okay, obviously, there's limitations depending on the protocol that you are currently in, that certain foods you cannot eat. And so that will be discussed when we talk about it. But outside of that, if you get on macros, we can make it work. And then people think that, oh, well, you know, I don't want to just eat chicken broccoli and rice, and you know, I don't want to just eat this or eat that. It's like, it's okay. You don't have to. The meal plan, what you're gonna do is send me foods you enjoy eating. And what I'm gonna do for you, I'm gonna take those foods and I'm gonna try to fit as many of them as I can into your meal plan. That way, you're eating food that you enjoy, and then we can swap them out when you want to try a new one. Or even better, I can give you two different meal plants. One, that's gonna be one full of foods that you enjoy, and two, I'll give you one for just in case of emergencies. If you can't meal prep or you forget to meal prep or you skip a day, whatever the case may be, that way you have that one too. So now I just took all the pressure off you because you you're over here thinking that you're gonna have to freaking eat chicken, broccoli, rice, and tuna for the next however long you you sign up for. And I just painted the environment for you that, oh, it's not like that. And it's gonna be what I like and what I want. So you can see how now in your head, you're far more willing to change because of the environment that you're gonna be in, is one that there's a word I'm looking for, and I can't think of it right now. You're gonna be far more likely to want to change because the environment is less hostile to your body. Because you know your nervous system, you're stressed out, your nervous system going crazy. But when your nervous system senses that peace, when you have a chance to relax, that's when you're far more likely to change. That's when your body is going to allow you to change. So that's why environment for anything, for learning, for kids learning, for adults learning, for working, for sports, for freaking gaming, for literally anything, the environment is crucial. But a lot of people aren't, like I said, aren't willing to change their environment because the fear of the unknown outweighs the pain of staying the same. Because when you when you go out there and try to change your environment, you're rolling the dice. You could end up worse, or you could not. Some people don't want to take that risk, but we all know that taking that risk is the best thing you could ever do because everything you want exists outside of your comfort zone. So if you continue to stay in your environment, one that is hostile towards your body, then you will never be able to heal, and you will never get better, and your life will forever and always be miserable. Of course, you're gonna have your small little wins, your small little moments that are gonna make you feel happy and feel excited. Well, those are fleeting. They'll be gone today just as fast as you got.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Because you're still in that environment.

Why Just One Habit Isn’t Enough

Discovery Calls And Trust Building

Relationships As Environmental Mirrors

The Garden Metaphor For Life

Diagnose Work, Friends, Relationship

SPEAKER_00 12:48

There's a reason why just lifting weights won't ever get you the body you want. You have to pair it with nutrition. Just doing cardio, you're not gonna lose all the weight you want. Why? Because you still have to pair it with nutrition. Just like continuously being in your current environment is not gonna get you where you want to be. Why? Because it's not an environment curated for change. You're just too stressed. Life is feeling so complex, you're overwhelmed, it feels like the walls are closing in, feels like nothing is ever going. You feel like everything you touch breaks, and that you can't do nothing right. So, in a situation like that, how do you expect to get anything done? Most people don't even have the morale to want to even start to change in situations like that. Hence why, like I said, for the fitness example, this discovery call is crucial. Because if I can't make you feel like you're gonna be safe, if I can't make you feel like I know what I'm talking about and I'm gonna be able to get you to where you want to be, if I can't make you feel like the program is for, then you're not gonna sign up for it. It's literally that simple. And that's why it is crucial. Just like with anything else that you if you want to change, I talked about relationships. In your relationship, if the environment is hostile, why the hell would you want to want why would you want to change for the other person? If y'all had just been going at each other, what reason would you be able to dig up to change? If you don't have any hope that this person is going to change, and they don't have any hope that you're gonna change, well, why on earth will either one of you change? You're just gonna keep on attacking each other, and you'll have your good moments, and those good moments, like good moments, like I said, are fleeting. You'll go right back to the freaking being at war, and that cycle will continue until you break up and get with the next one and repeat the cycle. Why? Because you never change thought. Your internal environment will directly correlate to your external environment. You will not find somebody who is emotionally intelligent in a toxic relationship. Because those people do not play games and they will cut you straight out of their life and never speak to you again. Which is how everybody should be acting. If things are sucking you dry, you need to cut them off. You need to start curating your environment for your health. You don't want to just be the gardener and have dead flowers, weeds, bugs, and animals destroying your garden. You're in charge of watering that mother freaker. You're in charge of the pruning, you're in charge of making sure that everything is taken care of in your garden. That's your environment. The grass isn't greener on the other side. The grass is green where you water it. Because you can go to the other side, and guess what? If you're a terrible gardener, that side is gonna die just like the other side did. So it's not about hopping around from garden to garden, environment from environment, it's about watering your garden, it's about curating your environment for your health. And you already know what I'm talking about, and you know I'm right because you're probably analyzing your environment currently. It's guys, it's simple. I gave you the three things that you can look at right now: your relationship, your work, and your friend group, those three things are what most people's entire environment is built around, and a small drop of poison can delude them all. If you have a friend who is just toxic as hell and always sucking you dry, that can cause you to be irritated, annoyed, and then you can take that to your work, and over time it just builds up and builds up and builds up, and you start lashing out at work. People start to notice that you're more reactive, and then you can carry that home to your relationship, and vice versa for all three. One drop of poison can destroy your whole garden, kill all your freaking grass, and make it to where it's harder to grow new stuff. So if you really are serious about healing, about building a better environment, then you need to look at those three areas. First, you're gonna have to admit to yourself that nine times out of ten, you settled for your current relationship. And that the current relationship that you are in is not the one that you thought you were gonna be in, but you probably didn't think you could do any better, or they probably showed you some type of affection, or they probably were a rebound that you just stuck around for, whatever the case, whatever the lie you're telling yourself, you need to you need to confront that lie. You start there. How does this person treat you? Do they treat like you should be treated in a relationship? Do they treat you like a human being? How are you talking about this person with your friends? Are you gassing them up? Are you saying how amazing they are? Or are you just saying that stuff but lying about it so people don't judge your relationship? How are they around your family? Do they like your family? Do they talk bad about your family? And how are they with your friends? These are these are these areas that you can start with right now. You can, like I'm saying, just take 30 minutes out of your day and just go over that. You can come up with your answers real quick, and you'll start to see just how toxic your environment is, and then you'll then you'll start having answers to why you are acting the way you are acting. Do that with your friend group, do that with your job, and then once you have all the answers, start pruning. People gotta go. Jobs gotta go. Relationships gotta go. Snip, snip, snip. And then once you start to prune off the dead leaves, everything else is gonna start to look a lot more healthy. And you know what that's gonna bring? Your nervous system is gonna calm down, your stress is gonna come down, and when your stress comes down, guess what? It comes down past your eyes, and now you can see above water. So when you're not drowning anymore, you can start to make rational decisions. And what does a rational person do now that they have path? You can now come up with priorities because you don't have all of these leeches sucking energy out of your life anymore. You can actually start to prioritize yourself and what you want to do, not what everybody else is wanting you to do, and not all the energy you were giving away. Now you can start to do what you want to. Do then you get your priority squared away, and with your priority squared away comes boundaries, and then when you have boundaries, your life begins to run on autopilot and you become more peaceful, then you can start a healing journey, but you can't do that if you don't have the right environment for change. The most crucial thing for you to do right now, you don't even have to start with getting to know yourself. Okay? You don't have to start with that. Right now, you can start by what I just said, analyzing those three areas. If you can start to change your environment towards a more healthy one, that will free up your energy to actually invest it back into yourself, and then you can start the healing process. Because when you analyze those three areas, it's going to lead to a lot of questions, and you're going to need to do some soul searching to find those answers. Because people who put up with abuse don't just put up with abuse because they love being abused, it is stemming from somewhere. And the only way you can find that answer is within you. It's the same thing. You can only become amazing at something if you are practicing it. If you are actually implementing it into your life.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Don't lie to yourself. You need to start taking it serious.

Prune, Lower Stress, Set Priorities

SPEAKER_00 26:03

You're only gonna get older, and you don't want to be 40 years old, still dealing with the same bull crap problems that should have been snuffed out after high school. And vice versa. Like, bro, you're too mother freaking old to be doing that bull crap. Why are we doing this? And it and it's because these people are still hurt. Hurt people hurt people. So break the cycle. Clean up your environment. Get that baggage dog, freak up out of there, put it at the curb so it can get taken out.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Stop holding on to it. Well yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Hopefully, you guys enjoyed episode brought to you by the church. And if you did, don't forget to like, comment, share, and leave that five star review. And until next time. See ya!