Car Chronicles EP 10: Why Modern Dating Feels Broken And How To Fix It

Dating apps don’t just change how you meet people, they change how you think. When everything becomes a swipe, attention gets split, effort gets diluted, and real connection starts to feel optional. We get honest about why the “talking phase” can turn into a low-commitment loop, why people stop expressing what they feel, and how that silence slowly wrecks relationships from the inside.

We also challenge the real reason a lot of people date: not love, not values, not long-term partnership, but the fear of being alone. If you’re not okay by yourself, you’ll chase anything that gives a quick dopamine hit, including matches, situationships, and even toxic relationships that feel exciting because they’re chaotic. We connect modern dating culture to dopamine addiction, social media habits, and unresolved trauma, then make the case that emotional intelligence is strength when it’s controlled and intentional.

From there we get practical: delete the dating apps, spend three months focusing on yourself, and start meeting people in real life again. Watch how someone carries themselves, make eye contact, learn to start a conversation, and rebuild the kind of confidence that can’t be faked through a profile. If you want a better relationship, build a better foundation first.

Subscribe for more raw, no-script conversations, share this with a friend who’s stuck in swipe mode, and leave a five star review if it helps you reset your approach to dating.

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Transcript

Raw Car Chronicle Setup

SPEAKER_01 0:01

You know, ever since I've been doing these car chronicle episodes, just driving and you know, talking about how I feel about certain topics, no script, off the dome. These are my true, genuine feelings.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

There's no edits here. I just it amazes me how some people, you know, never talk about or express themselves. They just keep it all locked away, and you know, eventually these people overload and explode, or they just, you know, never speak up.

When Feelings Stay Locked Up

SPEAKER_01 0:58

And next thing you know, the relationship has gone downhill and it's devolved into something that it never should have been. But one or both people just never expressed how they truly felt, and I feel like that's how a lot of relationships in this day and age are one, because like I talked about, how we're just getting further and further away from traditional things, like how it used to be back in the day. You know, you would go on a date with somebody, you would talk to this person, you would know the person, and if you like this person enough, then you guys would become boyfriend and girlfriend. But now with these dating gaps, you know, you can just swipe away, and then the next thing you know, you got five different chicks that you're talking to. And you're talking to all of them at the same time, going on dates with all of them at the same time. And it really takes away from the tradition, and you're not putting your 100% into one person, and you're, you know, you got five people, then you're splitting it 20% to each person.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Or maybe some people are getting less and some people get more.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

And I think that just that way of how dating is viewed nowadays with so many different phases, or there's just so many phases. What is what is a talking phase? I don't there was literally when I was in high school, this is high school. I remember my first girlfriend, I went up to her and I said, Hey, do you want to be my girlfriend? There's no talking phase. There was straight to asking to be my girlfriend face, and then we dated for like two months. And then we broke up because it's high school. And then when I was in Academy Sports and Outdoors when I was 18, my other girlfriend that I had there, my ex-girlfriend that I had there as well, uh, we talked to each other at work. And then, you know, there was one time where I worked up enough courage and said, Hey, do you want to be my girlfriend?

SPEAKER_00 3:48

It was like never this whole talking phase. Like we were just friends, and then I said, Hey, you want to be my girlfriend?

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Nowadays, it's just like a talking phase where they just, you know, you talk to however many people you want to, and then you just pick which one you want. And I think that's the issue. It's it's so diluted, and you just have the pig of the litter, and you can just swipe away, get you enough swipes, then once you have enough matches, then you can just pick from those the ones you want to talk to and just discard the rest, and then you talk to them and see which ones you like the most, and then you'll narrow it down, and then you pick one.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

But I mean, really, how much how effective is that when you really didn't give it your all to any of them?

SPEAKER_01 4:48

And then you end up picking the one that is what more attractive than the rest, or better and bad than the rest, um, has a better talent than the rest. I don't know, whatever the reason may be, whatever the reason may be that you pick them. But it's not really the reason you should have picked them to begin with, because dating is somebody that you're looking for to spend the rest of your life with. And I think that's where people have lost the plot when it comes to dating. You're not dating just to find somebody to be with because you're lonely and you're not okay with being alone. That's not the point of dating. And if that's why you're dating, then you're doing everybody in the dating pool a disservice because you're not serious.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

One of the best things a man can do, women too, but I'm speaking on men right now, is learn how to be okay with being alone. That's like the best thing you can learn to do because it doesn't make you desperate.

Learn To Be Okay Alone

SPEAKER_01 6:08

When you are okay with being alone, and the only way to become okay with being alone is to know who you are. And once you become okay with being alone, you're no longer desperate, desperately searching for someone, desperately on Twitter, Twitter, on Tinder, swiping away, doing super swipes or whatever the hell it's called. Spending money on dating apps just to find somebody because you're so desperate. And then when you find that, when you find somebody who shows you a little bit of affection, you just latch on to them. And then they're they get the ick because you're trying so hard because you you just don't want to be alone anymore. Doesn't that just sound disgusting? That makes me want to shower after hearing that. So don't be that person, okay? Become the person that has enough value that they attract people into their lives. Wouldn't it just be such a better life if you were just investing your time and energy into yourself, learning skills, becoming uh worldly, having good habits, having good etiquette, that knows how to carry a conversation. And then when you walk into any room, bro, it's gonna you're gonna feel like you belong there. And I try to tell some of the people, some of the guys that were my clients that had trouble with women, and just guys in general, if you have a good head on your shoulders and you're carrying yourself well, there's all types of scenarios where you can put yourself in situations to find women out in public, bro. Get off of the dating apps, man. I'm trying to tell y'all, dude. They just care about you being on there so they can get paid. They want you to spend money on these dating apps, dude. And what are the odds that you're gonna find someone who's not freaking damaged on a dating app? They're on a dating app, they're just as desperate as you. That's a literally a cesspool of desperation. You you took the time to create a dating profile. Why? Because you want somebody and you can't find anybody, so you have to get on the dating app. That's desperation, bro. If you have a any dating profile, you are a desperate individual who is not okay with being alone. And if you're one of these people, it's like, well, I'm getting older, okay. Whose fault is that? This is your fault that you didn't that you didn't spend time when you were younger becoming a better version of yourself. So now you think that you're on some societal clock that doesn't exist, that's tick tocking, and now you think that you gotta find somebody and settle down with because you should have had a baby three years ago, you should have had a house two years ago, and you should have been married one year ago. Now you feel like you're in such a rush, but there's no time. It doesn't exist, bro. It doesn't. I'm 36 years old. We want to have one kid. She's 31. I told her, whenever you feel like you're ready, we can have a kid. There's no rush. Now, obviously, biologically, she has a certain amount of time. But we're not in any rush. If the kid comes, if we if she gets pregnant at 39, so be it.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

38, so be it, 40, so be it. We're not in a rush.

Meet People In Real Life

SPEAKER_01 10:20

In the meantime, we're making sure that our empire is being built. So when our son, because that's what we want, does get here, this mother freaker will have something when we go from this world. And a lot of people feel like they're in such a rush that they have to get on these dating apps, they have to find somebody, they have to be with somebody, and then you know, you get with this person. Next thing you know, you accidentally end up having a kid with this person, and now you're locked into a freaking eternity with this person. All because you felt like you were in such a rush. But what do they tell you to do when you're younger? Party young, have fun when you're young, enjoy yourself when you're young, and you can do everything else when you're older. And where has that mentality gotten so many people? These same people that are partying young are now the ones who are older trying to meet some imaginary timeline. These are the same ones that have so much trauma that have taken the time to sit down and do any type of self-reflection. And so with all the trauma, comes all that baggage, and all that baggage, you bring it into every single last relationship. These are the people who are on Tinder, on Hinge, on Bumble. And guess what you're doing? You're swiping right on them, not knowing their story, not knowing all of their traumas. And then you get with them, then you find all of their traumas, find all of the baggage, and who knows how much time you waste with them. A year, two years, maybe. Oh, I've been in a relationship for two years, thinking about ending things. Two years down the drain. Now you're now you're 32. You get back on the tender, swipe again, find another one. Three years with this one, trauma. Now you're 36. You see how you just waste time because you don't want to be alone? And you end up being alone. Now, granted, it's the same when you go out in public, you know, you don't know who has trauma, right? Okay, this is true. No, this is true. But when you're out in public, at least you can you can watch them. How they carry themselves, how they talk, how they interact with people. Because if you're going to a place, say, like a restaurant, for example, and you've had your eye on a hostess or a waitress, you can literally watch how they interact. I know it's a service industry, and you have to be polite, but you you can tell who's faking it and who's not. Just how they talk. Some people, you know, genuinely, you can genuinely smile. They're being polite, they're carrying their stuff, they're getting their job done, you know, they're talking, they're having a conversation, they don't have an attitude, they're not all snarky, they don't look miserable, they have a glow to them, their eyes, you can see the light in their eyes. Because, you know, they're living life, they're working hard, they're doing what they need to do, they have goals in mind, they haven't died inside yet. Or they died inside and they found themselves, and now they know what they want out of life, and now they're working towards that.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

You can tell that by people's eyes, dude. That's why I I look at people's eyes and I just know what type of person they are.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

There was just the the uh the hostess that we went to yesterday. She when I went up there to get our table, man, dude, she was just ecstatic. As happy as could be. Her eyes were bright, she sm she smiled, she's like, hey, I got your table ready. And it just it just felt, you know, she just felt like she was excited to just be doing what she's doing. Like she has she's probably a college student working there on the weekends, working towards what she wants to do in life.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

She has goals, she has dreams, and she's just working towards them. But you can't tell that on Tinder from a static picture.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

Dude, at the gym, no, you go to the gym. There's there's women at the gym, dude. You know, should know if any of them find you attractive. Just look for the signs, the eye contact, are they constantly trying to work out in your vicinity? You know, are they are they putting themselves in situations so you can see them? Do they change their routine up to match your routine?

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Are they there every time you're there? You know, just things that look for.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

There's just there's a there's a litany of ways where people where you can put yourself in situations where people have to interact with you. Because that's ultimately how you're gonna talk to people out in public, but then like I said, you can monitor them, watch them, and you can get a better feel for somebody. Okay, not I'm not talking about in the club.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

Let me looking in a club for no women, okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

You want to go to places that are low stress environments, so you can watch people how they're actually how they would actually be acting. I'm telling you guys, dude. I'm telling you, man. I I I met Stephanie at Olive Garden as a waitress. She was my waitress. And like I said, from the way she talked, the way she felt comfortable around us, to interact with, to exchange jokes with us. She did her job. She's talk, she talked, you know, with confidence.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

She had charisma. And that's what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

And then you get to look at them in person and see what they look like, instead of you know the perfect pictures of them on Tinder. But this is what we need to get back to, man.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

We need to get back to tradition. Because it's gone.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

I'm telling you right now, get off the dating apps, close them up, delete them, and you need to spend the next at least at least three months. No dating apps, no dating, one yourself, working towards your goals, acquiring skills, building healthy habits, establish a foundation.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

That's what you need to focus on.

Self-Work Creates Real Attraction

SPEAKER_01 18:50

Then once you focused on all that and the three-month mark is up, re-evaluate. Do you even need Tinder anymore? Or do you feel like you are okay now and no longer desperate? One of my clients. I had a check-in call with him and we were talking. And he's like, Yeah, man, ever since the program, he's like, I feel more confident. And I had to tell my girl, he's like, hey, these girls at work, they're trying me. And he was like, We have nicknames on the back of our work uniforms. And mine is dark side. And he was like, one day I was coming to work and I was clocking in, and some chick came in behind me as I was going through the turnstile, and she was like, I'm trying to see what that dark side like. He's like, bold. It's like confidence, man. He he's working on himself. You know, he got back in school, he's trying to get his masters. You know, he invests in crypto, he invests in stocks, he got his money and assets. He's getting back into his photography business. He's getting clients from that. He got a good paying job right now, making six figures a year. Uh he's loving his body, the confidence that he's he's gained from building muscle. He's lost 35 pounds in six months. And overall, he's just feeling better about his life, and all that confidence is showing now. Because he says, you know, I'll walk around my head, hi, and I just feel better about everything. And that's that that is the side effect of working on yourself, acquiring things for yourself, skills, hobbies, habits, good habits, building that foundation, having priorities, having principles, having something you stand by. This these are the things that make you attractive. The physical appearance is the initial attractor. After that, guess what you have to rely upon? Your worldly experience. And if you don't have any of that, the physical attractiveness is not gonna keep them there. And if it does, it's probably because they're freaking trauma bonded to you. So please listen to me when I tell you, stop dating around. Okay? The fact that you need that dopamine hit is the issue to begin with. It's just dopamine.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

You're just seeking that dopamine, dude.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

When I tell you getting I'm not even I'm not even trying to brag, bro. I'm not I'm not even trying to brag. I'm just speaking experience. I had zero issues getting women. Zero. I had zero issues talking to them. I had zero issues going on dates with them. I had zero issues getting women. Why is that? Because I had things to talk about. I experienced things that most people don't experience. I was in the military. So I had stories from the military. I was able to talk about my traumas. I was able to talk about my habits on the gym, the things I'm trying not to do. I was able to talk about my hobbies, the saxophone, gaming, uh way to be like I used to draw. Like yeah, I used to draw a little bit. Sports, football, soccer, the countries I have been to, the experiences I experienced in those countries, shooting guns. I used to skateboard. Used to ride scooters. I talked about getting bullied in high school. It's just, you know, I'm able to talk about all of this stuff. Because I overcame a lot of my traumas. So now I'm able to talk about them. And it turns into what a lot of women like to hear. And that is a man who is able to talk about his feelings. But not just, you know, like, oh my God, I'm so hurt, they hurt me, or I'm so sad, or I'm so mad. Not like that, not in that matter. But it's like to talk from a place of understanding and to talk from a place from overcoming. So when a topic gets brought up, I'm now able to say, like, uh, yeah, you know, in high school, I got bullied. They would take drinks at lunch, pour them on my head. They used to make fun of me all the time. And for a while there, you know, I just thought that I was a weird kid and nobody liked me. And, you know, as I grew, I started to learn more about why kids bully. And that's what helped me overcome it because, you know, hurt people hurt people. So I started to think, you know, something's probably going on with them at home. And, you know, they're just doing this to get their frustrations out, or whatever the case may be. And so I was able to let it go and move from it, and you know, not try to retaliate or get revenge. So it helped me grow as a person, knowing that, okay, let me try to understand what this person is going through before I make any type of judgment on them.

SPEAKER_00 25:43

You know, that's the stuff that women want to hear. It's like, damn, this motherfucker's mature.

Trauma, Growth, And Emotional Control

SPEAKER_01 25:48

He's understanding, he has compassion, empathy, sympathy. That's what they want to hear. But you can't, you can't talk from that place if you've never taken the time to get to know yourself. This is why I keep stressing that it's important to talk about your traumas. And I know men want to sit here and be like, I don't have any trauma. Okay, sure. Whatever, you know, whatever you want to say, dude. If that's the attitude that you continuously want to have, then please, by all means, continue to be in miserable relationships where your wife is reside. That's what you want. That's the type of relationship you want. One where your wife is never satisfied because you don't want to take the time to self-reflect and to overcome your trauma and to begin to fix what's broken. See, men get it get it twisted. And you have to understand, like I said earlier, about the emotional side of being a man. Let me say this. Okay. Just because I am in tune with my emotions doesn't mean that I am by any means weak. In fact, it allows me to channel specific emotions and strength. Instead of having uncontrolled rage, my rage is controlled. And I can direct it at whatever the issue is. And I'm able to, you know, deter it from causing sufficient collateral damage like it used to. Now, when I get mad, if I get enraged, I'm able to think clearly about the situation.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

And I can choose to act on my rage, or I can choose to let it go.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

But you can't do that if you haven't acquired emotional intelligence. And I still have the capacity to kill you. Like, just because I am emotional or in tune with my emotion, I will still kill you. Like, I at the end of the day, I'm still a man. I'm just in control of my emotions. But they want to make it like a game or making like a joke, like it's funny, like, oh, he's an emotional, he's a femin, he's a femme boy, or whatever the case may be. It's like, bro, I will kill you. Like, I have the capacity to do that. So don't forever one second think that just because you are gaining control of your emotions, it makes you lesser of a man. What makes you lesser of a man is expressing those emotions in a feminine way.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

That's what makes you less of a man.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

You can express your emotions in a masculine way.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

It's okay to cry, but why are you crying? And if you're gonna cry, there's always places where you can do it in private.

Dopamine Addiction And Toxic Love

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Because people be like, oh, that's you know, men, men aren't allowed to cry. No, you're allowed to cry. But let me ask you this: why do you need to cry in public? What reason is there for that? Because everybody's gonna judge you if you're a man and you cry in public. Depending on, like I said, why are you crying? And my wife just got shot and killed in public, then yeah, I'm probably gonna shed some tears. But if you're like going through like a breakup in public and you start crying, then you know that's uh that's kind of femme. See what I'm saying? Yeah, you see, do you guys see what I'm saying? So you can be emotional, and I think that's where a lot of guys get a misunderstood. It's okay to be emotional. This is true. It's how you go about being emotional that's gonna make or break you. But to constantly disregard the traumas you are going through and that you've been through, that's where the problem arises. Because you're trying to act like it's not there, but it is there. And if you're not taking the time to overcome those things, then you're never gonna be able to reach your full potential. You're always gonna have that void in your heart. You're always gonna try to find something to fill that void, and that's when we run into the issues: pornography, sleeping around, drugs, alcohol, gambling, adrenaline, uh, adrenaline junkies. You you need that dopamine, swiping on Tinder, anything, uh, swipe it on TikTok. That's gonna peak that dopamine. Show me your show me your TikTok feed, and I'll show you a person who has an addiction. If I if I go on your TikTok feed and you're a guy and it's just a bunch of freaking chicks twerking, you need that dopamine. You have an addiction, you have a problem. You know what's on my Tinder or on my Tinder on my TikTok feed? Well, right now, since her and I just watched like 40 freaking ghost hunting TikToks, but uh it's you anime, politics, Drake, and cat videos, because she keeps sending me cat videos.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

That's my TikTok feed. And with a little bit of fitness sprinkled in there. That's my TikTok feed.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

Ain't none of that, ain't none of that giving me no dopamine. I I watch I watch TikTok for enjoyment purposes only. I'm not seeking nothing off of TikTok. I get my news from YouTube and TikTok from certain TikTok creators and certain YouTube creators that keep me up to date on a political landscape so I can stay informed. Because staying informed, if you don't stay informed, then you're gonna be taken advantage of. And then I watch anime, so I was looking for new animes, and I like to edits, and then she likes cat videos, so she'd be sending me hella cat videos, and then the fitness content because we're into fitness, and that's it, man. But like I said, show me your feed and I'll show you somebody who has an addiction. If you're just somebody who's constantly seeking dopamine, then you have your answer to why it's hard for you to be alone. People who have a hard time being alone, they're drawn to the toxicity because it gives them dopamine. That's why they say they love a toxic relationship. Because there's always something happening in that relationship. It's like a rush. They need it, they don't know what's gonna happen next. They get that dopamine hit. Like, oh, I think I caught him cheating. I found some text messages, but they get that dopamine hit, that adrenaline starts running through their body and they feel so good. They come home. What is this? Who is this? Like, oh, that's so-and-so. And then they get into an argument and that dopamine, they get some more dopamine. And it's it's an addiction, bro. You you are addicted to toxic relationships. You are addicted to dopamine. It's the same with food. People eat. That's why people eat. It gives them a good feeling, it gives them that dopamine they're looking for. That's why these foodies, these food, these people that claim that they're foodies, bro, they have addiction. They are addicted to eating food. And it wasn't that they ate food and it became their job. They were addicted to eating food, couldn't stop eating food, and they made it their job. Oh, I eat food for a living. Oh no, it's because you're addicted to it. All these people have an addiction, bro. They need dopamine. And once that dopamine dries up, you start fiending for it. Literally look at anything that you may do. Anything that you may do, nicotine, alcohol, there's a reason why people can't do 75-day heart. I'm not an advocate for that challenge at all, and I think it's the stupidest thing in the world, but there's a reason why so many people restart it. It's because they go three or four days and it starves them of their dopamine, and then they have to have one of those dopamine-seeking behaviors, and they have to restart. That's why that challenge just sets you up for failure. And this is why dating is the way it is today and age. Dating nowadays is based off of dopamine. The feeling that you get from swiping on Tinder and getting a match, it probably sends a surge. Just a rush through your body, and it feels good to get that match. You're like, oh my God. Especially if it's like one of the ones you really want it and they match with you. And then going through the whole initial dating process, then you get on the date, and then you're wondering if you're gonna smash or not. That's all dopamine, dude. And it has sent the dating culture in today's day and age down the drain. Because people, one, can't be alone. So therefore, they seek dopamine, which causes them to be desperate, which causes you to date recklessly, which causes both parties to acquire more baggage, which sets the next person up for a worse experience. The only thing that cuts through that is if you take the time to self-reflect, do some introspective work, start the healing process, start the healing journey, and that starts by purging dopamine. You have to go on a dopamine fast. The people that you know try to get off social media, like, oh, I have to get off social media for a while. That's because they can't take all of the overwhelming emotional, negative, negative emotions that come with social media and overwhelm. People that get overwhelmed by social media easily have far more trauma than people who don't. And if you get overwhelmed by social media, you need to do some self-reflecting. You need to start the healing journey.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

Okay, I'm trying to save y'all years of time wasted.

Technology Makes Dating Weaker

SPEAKER_01 38:42

And it's such a simple thing to do, and it will save your relationships, it will make them better, it will make you better, you'll feel better, you'll have more energy, you won't be exhausted, you won't constantly have anxiety around social media, you won't constantly have anxiety out in public. And that's the thing, bro. There's 25-year-olds, there's 20-year-olds, there's people that have social anxiety, bro. That's the craziest thing to me. Like, oh, I don't do well in big crowds. Like, I like you know, I can't, I just get I listen. I don't like big crowds either, but for a different reason. I don't like big crowds because I don't like I do not like not knowing what's going on around me. And that's because I picked up hyper-vigilance from being in the freaking military, being security forces. But do I avoid big crowds? No, I still go to places that have big crowds. Like I'm not gonna put my life on pause because I'm hyper-vigilant. I just go there and I be hyper-vigilant. But I've learned it has calmed down a lot over the years. The more and more that I go into these crowds, the more and more that something doesn't happen to me, the more and more my body realizes, like, hey man, you know, let's just, you know, let's just try not to be hyper. I'm like, okay. So that's why I say, bro, you have to, you have to let your body know that you're safe. And that's one of the big aspects of overcoming trauma. And a lot of people don't do it because they don't want to reface the trauma. And then they continue down the same path, and they're, you know, forever gonna identify with their trauma. It's just always gonna be an issue. And they bring that into their dates, they bring that into their relationships, and then they wonder why they never have a functioning relationship because you never overcame anything. You never figured out who you were, you never actually figured out why the trauma was causing you issues. Well yeah. Dating, okay, I'm telling you right now, if you take away anything from me from this episode, is get off the dating apps, spend the next three months alone, and go out into public and just be in the environment. You know, get back to the old stuff, make eye contact with a girl that you think's attractive, and see if she's feeling you. She's looking back, she giving you signs, you know, test your luck. That that'll feel so much better than just swiping and hoping that when you go on a date, that they're not a rock. I'm telling you, dude. I'm telling you, if if the the the easier that life becomes, the harder your life will be. Isn't ain't that ain't that crazy? All of this technology has done nothing but made humans more stupid. Chat GPT brain rot.

SPEAKER_00 42:30

Dating apps, brain rot.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

Freaking Uber Eats, brain rot.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

It has made people don't even shop for their own groceries anymore.

SPEAKER_01 42:46

It has made y'all's lives far more challenging because now y'all don't know how to interact in public, you have no idea. Our next door neighbor, this motherfucker get his groceries delivered, he had somebody cut his lawn, he gets Uber East delivered. It's like, dang, bro, do you ever go out in public? The only time he goes out to public is to the bar. And guess what's there people who are ripe ripe for the taking when it comes to trauma? And that's why every time he has a party at his freaking house, they're loud, obnoxious, and drunk.

SPEAKER_00 43:38

I don't have anything against my neighbor.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

We haven't had any issues with them, so but I just noticed that about them. But it's like, bro, it's it made y'all's life difficult. You can't do hard things, you can't approach a woman and talk to them in person. You can't do it, you can't do it. You're afra you're terrified. Shaking in your mother freaking boots. But your swipe, it takes away all the challenge. You know what happens when there's no value? Y'all know what happens when there's no value. You know exactly what happens when there's no value. You're gonna throw it away. Swipe? There's no value in swiping. You swipe a hundred times. Get a couple matches. Go on dates. But yeah. None of them worked out. I'll just swipe again. You out in public though? You see a girl?

SPEAKER_00 44:44

You never know if you're gonna see her again. And she's everything that you want.

SPEAKER_01 44:51

Smoking hot, carrying herself well. She's freaking beating off all the dudes with a stick that approach her. You look over at her, she just happens to be looking at you. At that rush, you feel it course through your body, your heart starts beating a little faster, your eyes dilate, your palms start to sweat. That's what you want. That's the feeling you're looking for. That's that's that's that is that is what you are looking for. You don't you don't get that on Tinder. And when you get that feeling, now you got two options.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

You approach, you work up the nerve to approach, spark up a conversation, or you let it go. And then if you do approach, have that conversation. Things go good, she feeling you, you feeling her, you get her number, say you'll text her later, you get home, and then you just have an adrenaline dump. And then you know what you do? You celebrate. Like, yes, I did it. I did it. Challenge complete.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

Now the value is there because you worked for it, it was hard. That's why doing the hard things makes life easy. You did all the hard work. Now, guess what you get to do? Cruise control. Now all you have to do is message her, and then you can set up a second date, third date, fourth date, fifth date, however many dates. And then you just invest your time and energy into her. And you're not dating around, or you're not talking to 15 other women, you're just talking to her. And now that all your effort is being put into her, and she you will be able to tell if she's feeling you and if she's reciprocating that effort, then you might have something.

SPEAKER_00 47:17

You see how that works? The value is there now, so now you don't just toss it. Now you're addicted to it. Not in a bad way. Because you can be addicted to it and blow it, okay? But like, I'm saying you're addicted to her. Like you want to spend time with her to be with her. Because you're, you know, you're you you you work for it.

Old-School Moves That Actually Work

SPEAKER_01 47:49

But you don't get that on Tinder. You don't get that on Hinge, you don't get that on Bumble, you don't get that feeling, you don't get that rush. It's just like on social media when you post up a post and you're just hoping that your freaking followers like, comment, and share. It's like, okay, it doesn't really do anything for you. What really matters is the view time. Are they viewing? Are your are your followers viewing your content to the very end? That's all that matters. Nothing else matters. All these other statistics don't matter. Because if you're not watching, Instagram don't care. So I'm telling you, that's what you gotta do. You know, go to a restaurant that you that you that you visit frequently. Or, or, you know, start going to a place that you haven't been to before and see, you know, if there's any attractive young women there. And if there is, become a regular. Order whatever you're gonna order, and then every time you go there, you order that same thing. One. You gotta remember, depending on the location, they see hundreds of people a day, hundred orders a day.

SPEAKER_00 49:34

You go in there, they know your name, they know your order. That's what you're looking for. Because they're paying attention to you.

SPEAKER_01 49:47

There's other regulars that go there every day. Do they know their name? Do they know their order? You're you're looking for small cues. Are they having a conversation with you every time? Are they giving you a genuine smile, not no teeth smile? Are they laughing at your jokes? Are they bringing you into conversations? Are they asking you about what you're doing on the weekends? You'll know. I'm telling you, bro, that that is more fun than Tinder will ever be. That is more fun than Tinder will ever be. That's why the traditional things are the best things. And that's why they have stood the test of time. Because they work. That's why squat, bench, and deadlift are the king, the big three. Because they're the best. It don't matter how optimal these bros want to try to make lifting, those three will always be the best.

SPEAKER_00 50:49

Traditional courting, chivalry will always be the best. Because it's more fun. And then you get to see if you're actually even good at it. Do you got game? Do you?

SPEAKER_01 51:09

Like, how many of you can actually work up work up enough nerve to go and talk to a woman out in public? Hmm? One that you find attractive. How many of you can talk to your gym crush? Come on, bro. Be honest with me. That bro, once you're able to do that, you've transcended normal human beings, bro. Transcended. That's gonna give you another level of confidence that you never had to before. And I promise you right now, if you work up enough nerve to go and talk to your gym crush, you will never have another problem talking to women again. Because that is the hardest thing to do. Talking to your gym crush. I'm telling you, that's when you know you've reached the pinnacle. Yeah. Alright, alright, alright. I'm just I'm just yapping away. So I want y'all to do this, okay? This is gonna help you out. I need you to take three months and do a dopamine fast.

SPEAKER_00 52:30

Limit your time on social media. Don't comment negative comments. Limit the amount of you know, food that you're splurging on for your dopamine.

Dopamine Fast Challenge And Closing

SPEAKER_01 52:48

Just just do a dopamine fast. Okay? And during this time, I want you to pursue something that you've always wanted to pursue, but you've always said you've never had the time to do it. And that can be whatever you want it to be. Because I know there's things like that for you. We all have those things. Then just do it for three months, man. And I'm telling you, you will start to become okay with being alone. And once you're in that mindset, then that's when you can start to work on yourself. And once you figure out who you are, the rest of the dominoes fall in place. Yeah. If you like this episode, don't forget to like, comment, and share. And we have five star review. Until next time. See ya!