Car Chronicles EP 11: How Toxic Relationships Rewire Your Body And Your Habits

If your relationship feels like constant tension, your body may be paying the bill in ways you never connected to love and health. We dig into what really happens when a home environment feels unsafe: fight or flight becomes your baseline, cortisol stays high, sleep gets wrecked, and blood sugar swings can fuel fatigue, cravings, and that “I don’t even realize I’m snacking” pattern. This isn’t just mindset, it’s physiology, and it’s why so many people feel stuck even when they “know what to do.”

We also talk about the hidden compounding damage that builds over years, especially when chronic dieting, body image pressure, and stress stack on top of each other. We get specific about why “normal” lab ranges can be misleading and why we care about deeper markers like T3, T4, and TSH, plus the gut health connection that often gets ignored. I share how I think about coaching like running a diagnostic on a car: don’t just silence the check-engine light, find the root cause, clean up lifestyle first, then decide if medication even makes sense.

Finally, we get real about what actually triggers change. Most people don’t move until they hit a “200 out of 10” pain moment, a health scare, a near-divorce, a life jolt that forces a decision. I share my own turning point with porn use and how adult communication, not constant fighting, is what creates safety and long-term trust. If you want fitness advice that actually fits real life and relationship advice that respects your biology, this one will land.

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Transcript

Road Trip Thoughts And New Direction

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Yes, sir. That means last day I'm driving to Mother Freaking Austin. Oh my god, I'm so excited. Like I was just I was just dreading the drive so much. I left a little bit later today. I mean, obviously I'm still gonna get there early, but I wasn't like I checked the traffic before I leave the house. So I'll check like an hour before just to see where it's at. And an hour before it was already traffic, and I was like, oh my freaking god, bro. I just don't even understand, dude. Why, why, why? But this did last night. They would have been done yesterday, but the place they rented their wet saw from, they got a wet saw with the bad blade. So it's chipping the tiles as they were cutting them. So they literally have to come back tonight just to cut the last. I think they have like four tiles to cut, and then they're out of there. So that's like I'm complaining, but at the same time, I'm not complaining because, like, okay, well, it's like, oh my gosh, no, you have to come back and I have to get paid to sit here and do nothing. But at some time, at the same time, I don't want to drive two hours, bro, to sit in Sephora and stare off into space. Even though this is where my my best ideas come in. When I, bro, the content I've been putting out recently is is proof of that. Give me clarity on the direction I want to take. And I decided to move in a new direction. And I'm trying to combine fitness and relationships advice together in the one. Because I believe that's ultimately I care more about people's health than they probably do, even though I may come off like I don't, but I do. Just because I don't like looking around and seeing senseless suffering, people suffering for no reason. There's so much out there that can help you get to a better place. And when it comes to fitness, you know, because fitness got me to where I am today, I know it is a catalyst that can be used to transport everybody to a better place. I just know it to be true. Regardless of your opinions or of what you've tried, it doesn't matter because you haven't been guided like I have. So that's why when you sign up with me and I guide you, your life turns out better. And a lot of these men and these relationships aren't men. They're just boys who don't know anything. And like I said, the less worldly experience you gather, the more likely your relationship is going to be in turmoil. And the less of in control of your own life you are, the more chaotic your life is going to be. And that includes your relationship. So I want to take a different route and just put out some things that are, you know, just to show off how fitness can improve your relationship, can make it better, how it can make you better overall. It's more aimed at men. Because that's who I coach. But the women benefit from it as well because they they get better husbands and better boyfriends. Then in turn, you know, you're getting a better man, so that would make you want to be a better woman. So that's that's where I'm going now. I'm I'm trying this because I feel like my relationship with Stephanie is pretty top-tier. So I'm gonna help others learn how to do it by learning who they are, and then them coming into their own way on how their relationship should be with them making rational decisions and not being controlled by trauma. So that's where we're at with that.

Fitness As A Relationship Upgrade

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Now, let's talk about this episode today. This was also brought to you by a real opposite this morning, actually. And the reel itself isn't what I want to talk about. It's what is uh it's what I was alluding to in the reel. And the reel was be the reason she feels safe enough to be her genuine self in the relationship. Now, I did talk about this a little bit on one of the episodes, but I wanted to talk about it more here.

Fight Or Flight In Toxic Love

SPEAKER_01 5:37

So, first I want to say people in relationships don't realize the gravity of the situation when you are in a hostile relationship. Like you you might be in a hostile relationship and be like, okay, it's bad. Clearly, you can see that it's bad. But what you don't see is the actual damage that it's doing to you. Sure, you feel it, you probably feel it, you know. But if you are already feeling like crap, then you're not gonna really notice a drastic effect if somebody else is making you feel like crap because you already feel like crap. But what it is doing is building up. And it's it weighs heavy on people without them even noticing. And I think, and you know, there's always the outliers, some people may notice, which is fine. So when you get when you're in a hot in a hostile relationship, and say, for example, you guys are always arguing, he's always tearing you down, you're always tearing him down, you're just going at each other's throats all day, every day. You never get a chance to come out of fight or flight. And so if you're always in a state of fight or flight, you know, you always have that adrenaline pumping, you always feel like there's a threat. We already talked about some of the physiological effects that it has on you with cortisol, putting your hormones out of whack, messing with your hungry cues, messing with your blood sugar, which leads to a litany of issues. There's a reason why people who are in toxic relationships are always tired. One, your cortisol waking pattern is all thrown off. Because you don't have a good circadian rhythm because you're not sleeping because your cortisol so high. So you're waking up in the middle of the night on, then you have a blood sugar regulation problem. So your blood sugar is infrequent, so it's up and down all day. So you're up, you're up, crash, up, crash, up, crash, up, crash. And it's just exacerbated by constant adrenaline dumps from all the argument. So there's never any type of consistency where your body is in a hormonal equilibrium. So that's what it looks like from a physiological perspective in a in a hostile toxic relationship. Obviously, that's just surface level. But a lot of the physiological effects they play into the mental effects.

Emotional Eating And Trauma Snacking

SPEAKER_01 8:39

People who eat food, emotional eating. Why do you think that is? You don't just emotional eat because you want to eat. And you don't just eat because you want to eat. That eating is being triggered by something. That's why people find it so so so hard to not emotionally eat. Because it's tied to an emotion, it's tied to an event, it's tied to a trauma. So it's a lot harder to undo. And why does why does this matter? Well, when you're going through a fitness program and you have a lot of trauma responses, and one of them is emotionally eating, what's going to be hard for you to stick to nutrition when you get triggered throughout the day? And the more times you get triggered, the more likely you are to eat. That's why people who people who snack a lot, the snackers. People don't just snack because they enjoy food. People snack for a reason, out of boredom, because they need dopamine, because it's a trauma response. There's always a reason why they're doing it. The people who snack throughout the day on a fitness program are different. It's timed. Their snacks are timed. They're disciplined. They eat their snack, then they move on, then they wait their three hours, then they eat their meal. People who are snacking traumatically just snack, whenever. Without even realizing that they're doing it. They have their hand on a bag of chips. You know, they're they're eating cookies or munching on something. There was a client that she had, and her relationship is just not good. They should not be together, they should get a divorce and move on. But because they don't, she lived in fight or flight all the time because of her husband. And what would she do? She would always tell her that, yeah, you know, I just black out, I just snack. I don't even realize I'm doing it. That's what I'm talking about. That is an irrational decision. Because it doesn't make sense for your goals to snack when you're trying to lose weight. Right? So, like I said yesterday, I didn't need to post the episode. But it looks crazy from a normal perspective because it's like, okay, you want to lose weight while you're eating. And it's not as easy, I just don't do it. Some people can't will themselves to go cold turkey and just not do it. My last client, he just willed himself cold turkey off of meth. He got some willpower. He cold turkey straight out of freaking alcohol. So it is possible, but you need a strong will. So why does it why does any of this any of this matter? Because this is all damage that just compiles over the years that you don't even notice because you're in a constant state of crappiness, you always feel like crap. So if you always feel like crap, can you feel like more crap? And then at what point does you feeling like more crap just equal out to your north to where you don't even notice the underlying damage that's being done to your body. And then you can you you pair it with the mental effects and the physiological effects, then you have a literally a recipe for disaster inside your body.

Chronic Dieting Thyroid And Long Damage

SPEAKER_01 12:33

This is why it takes so much longer to undo the damage because you've been compiling this damage for 10 plus years. Depending on when you start it, and speaking, most females, you know, they start young because they want to be models, they want to be ballerinas. So they diet, they chronically diet more often than guys do. So they sustain more damage initially from the physiological aspect, and depending on what they want to do or what they're being pushed to do, they take a mental hit because they never feel like they're skinny enough. Or they never feel like they never feel like they're good looking enough. And it's always a constant battle of your image, which is the mental aspect, and then that mental aspect is going to cause you to physically do damage to yourself by chronically under not eating, bulimia, anorexia, and then that leads over time to you consistently doing those things, and it becomes your norm. And then guess what? That damage just builds up over time, so eventually your body stops operating like it's supposed to, which is how people develop a lot of gut problems, hormonal problems, women specifically being on birth control at young ages, and then they hop on SSRIs, they hop on antidepressants, they hop on thyroid medication. Now you compile the side effects of those medications on top of your body already not anciently, and then, like I said, all that damage just adds up over time, and then you finally decide that you're tired of feeling like crap. So you reach out, we run your blood work, and we tell you all the issues, and you're like, oh wow, my doctor said I was normal. I bet he did. Because you got to remember, you're being compared to other damaged people. The range is based off of societal health markers, and society is 47% obese. We're not a healthy society, so when you're in range, yeah, you're in range. Don't mean that you're healthy, doesn't mean that it's good. Normal doesn't necessarily mean good. For a population of people, America, normal is not good. You don't want them to say you're normal. So that's why when they reach out, like I said, and we read your blood work, we're like, oh wow. They said you weren't normal? Well, it says here that you know your T3 is.4. Well, you don't know what that means. I'd be surprised if your doctor even pulled T3. But T3 is the active form of thyroid, which is the thyroid that your body uses, and thyroid is T3 is pretty much used for it by every organ. 0.3?4? It's not operating at all. No wonder your metabolism isn't working. No wonder you're not burning calories. You know why? Because the years of the chronic undereating, the the years of the bulimia, the years of the hormonal birth control, all compiled, and they finally made their way to the top. Thyroid is the last line of defense. Thyroid goes, you got a lot of problems going on in your body. The thyroid is literally in your throat. So it made it all the way up there. You got a lot of problems, and it's gonna take some time to undo them. And is it possible to undo them? Yes, we have helped many of people come off their thyroid medication through lifestyle change. Many of people. So it is possible. You don't need to be on medication, there is a time and place for medication. That's why functional medicine blends Western medicine practices with holistic because we understand that there are times and places for medication. So it's not that we're against it, it's just that, hey, let's let's let's fix the lifestyle first and get the environment in a place to where you can easily take care of your garden. So we clean up the lifestyle, clean up the habits, make sure everything there is operating efficiently, then we can look at your your lab work again after, you know, three, six months and see are things improving. If things are improving, there's no reason to add medication. If things aren't improving, then we can look at adding medication. It really is that simple. But let me ask you this.

Bloodwork Root Cause And The Mechanic Test

SPEAKER_01 18:27

If your engine check engine light is on, and you pop the hood, and you're taking a look around because you're trying to find the problem, there's so many moving parts in there. And isn't there no direct indication to what the issue is? Do you think that changing the oil, just changing the oil, is gonna get the engine up and running again? Who knows? Maybe. Right? Maybe. Or maybe you need to put the radiation fluid in. I don't know. You don't know. The check engine light is on. That's all it shows. That's how your body is. The check engine light is on. We have no idea what the problem is. So what do you think you do? You bring the car to a mechanic. You bring your body to a coach. What do we do? We run a diagnostic, we get that blood work. Once we get that blood work, once they get their diagnostic back, now they have more of a direct answer of what's going on. Now we have more of a direct answer of what's going on. They say, hey, look. It's not that's the issue. It looks like the engine itself is starting to decay. So we can so we do the same thing. Like, oh, it's not your thyroid, that's the issue. It's actually stemming from your gut.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

So now we can address that.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Now they can just now they can address the decaying engine. Well, if you have a decaying engine, then you need a new one. But you get my point. We have a more direct line of attack now, and that's where we start. We start there. Like I said, simple lifestyle changes, simple habit fixes, and then we see if the environment improves. You got a new engine? Okay, let's see if the car is running better. Car still not running better? Okay. Now we go, now we go to the next area. You're looking for, and people think this word is like overused or like people laugh at when you use it, is the root cause of the problem. If you have a decaying engine, well, that is the root cause if your car is not working. So that would be the root cause in that scenario. But if your thyroid is messed up, what do you think, what do you think is causing the thyroid to be messed up? Do you think it's just a direct problem with the thyroid? Or do you think something else is causing the thyroid to produce less T3? Because I'll tell you what the doctors do. They see low T3. Well, they're not even gonna pull your T3. Okay. What they're gonna do is pull your TSH. If they see low TSH, which is thyroid stimulating hormone, which is what tells your thyroid gland to produce T3, T4, if they see that low, they're gonna address that. Oh, it looks like you need more T3. Or it looks like you need more T4. They're not gonna actually address what's causing the thyroid to be to be producing low T3 or low T4. What we do is look at your lab work and we pull T3, T4. You want to look at those values, okay? It looks like he has low T3 here. And then we will look at some of the reasons maybe why you have low T3. Because you can have low T3 and the right amount of T4 and the right amount of TSH and it'd not be an issue. Which means your body's using that T3. We still want it to be efficient. So we, you know, we would still develop a course of action. But what for is the numbers do not make sense. For example, if you have low T4, which is the inactive form of thyroid, which needs to be converted into T3. If you have low T4, and you have low T3, then you have high TSH. Well, now that doesn't make any sense. Why is that happening? Then we start to look at the blood work with that in mind, and then we can start to develop an attack. A lot of times, thyroid problems stem from the gut, which is where most of your T3 is converted. Yeah, I know I just went off way on the tangent there and got into the physiological aspect. Pretty sure I saw what I did, but I did it anyways. Because I wanted you guys to just have some insight on how the process actually works and what separates a good coach from a doctor is that we're looking for the root cause. We're trying to trace the origin of the issue and address the origin, and then the body will adjust and fix itself. That way you don't have to throw in all these different medications to address the symptoms. It's just band-aid. If the gut is causing the hormone, if the gut is causing a thyroid problem, and I just give you T3 because your T3 is low, then your the medication is going to work initially, but then the body is going to do what it does, and it's going the medication is going to stop working because the thing that's causing your body not to utilize three is coming from your gut. So this is why when people first get their medication, they feel good because it works initially. But then why do you think they go back for the same issue every year? Because it stops working. Then they up your medication, feel good, stops working, you go back, they up it, feels good, stops working, up it, go back, and you just repeat the cycle over and over and over and over and over again. Tell me I'm wrong. You probably think in the medication that you take right now that you keep going back for the same issues. Because it's not working. Because you're not addressing the root cause. If you get shot, you're not gonna put a band-aid on it, are you? No. You're gonna dig the bullet out. Well, you're not. They're gonna dig it out and stitch it up. So why would you expect any other issue to be treated differently? The root cause of the blood loss is the open wound. Well, you can't close the wound until you take the freaking bullet out. Because if you leave that bullet in there, it's gonna cause more damage. Yeah. Let's get back on track here.

Why People Make Irrational Choices

SPEAKER_01 26:12

Let's get all that get out of that physiological bull crap. Hop back into what I was talking about earlier. So now that you see the physiological side, you can see the compounding effects that everything added together may have. So if your psyche is already being bombarded by your toxic significant other, that's triggering you to destroy yourself physiologically. Then you do that, like I said, for ten plus years. Then you wonder why you're in such a state of disarray and feels like everything is hopeless and why nobody can help you, or you've tried it all and nothing works. Well, it's because trying it all, normal means no longer work for you. What used to work for you 10 years ago no longer works for you because the damage is too great now. In an efficiently operating body, the normal means works for people. Because you're not too far gone. Once you pass a certain threshold, you can no longer do normal. This is why people go to therapy. This is why people go to dietitians, this is why people go to coaches, because their normal means no longer work, and they need expertise in the area. So, this is why it's very important to understand how much damage partners inflict on each other through sociological means. Am I just saying stuff sociological? I don't know why that just flowed like it was supposed to go there. Psychological. Sociological. I guess that too, but psychological means. And then if you keep in mind the baggage that you brought in, here we go. The baggage that you brought in from previous relationships that you haven't dealt with, now you add in this new psychological attack from your new person. You're just you're like I said, you're just stockpiling the damage, and it's just adding up more and more and more. And then you wonder why people make irrational decisions. This is why. This is the exact reason why they're like, wow, that doesn't make any sense. You're right, it doesn't. But it's because they're not in the right frame of mind. And this is what people need to understand in order to begin the healing process, you have to understand the amount of danger you are in if you continue down the route you're going.

The 200 Out Of 10 Wake-Up Call

SPEAKER_01 29:40

And it takes a drastic. Most of the time, it takes something that causes a significant amount of pain, a surge, like an instantaneous like 200 out of 10 on the pain scale, force to jolt somebody into change. Why? Because you're so used to feeling like crap that minor stuff, even heavy stuff, is not going to change your mind because you're already in a state of misery and you already feel like crap. So it's just, oh, I already feel like crap. It's just more crap. That's why you need something that's like 200 on a pink out of 10 to stab you in the heart to make you want to change because it has to outweigh your current pain. It has to outweigh your current misery. And if it doesn't do that, it's just going to add to it. These things cause drastic, almost unbearable amounts of pain. And that's why people change after them. That's why, you know, you got the whole trend of the revenge body. Because now, pain of all that suffering, you're like, yo, I went through all of this, and they just effing left me. Okay, I'm gonna get them back. So then you change. Now, granted, it's probably not for the best if you're doing a whole revenge body trend, but it's still a change nonetheless. Like, say, for example, you lose your wife. That's bro, that's a lot of pain. And that's either gonna make or break the man, but he is going to change. A mom loses her child. She is going to change. This is what it takes, and that 200 out of 10 can be different for everybody because we all experience pain differently. We all have different tolerances, we all have different emotional responses to things like that. For me, it was the fact that I was about to lose her over pornography. That was my 200 out of 10 pain moment. I was like, wow, I'm literally about to get divorced because I'm watching porn. I was like, what kind of freaking piece of crap, man, am I? Like, how do I even look people in the face and tell them, yeah, my wife divorced me because of porn? That's embarrassed.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

That I was like, holy crap, bro. Like, what the freak is wrong with you? I was like, get it together. That was my 200 out of 10. I changed.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

So, whatever that looks for you, that's gonna be the moment where you have a choice to make. In that moment, you can choose to go down the path of redemption and start your healing journey, or you can change and let it swallow you, and then you can drown in it. There are people that hit that 200 out of 10 and they just drown and they get worse. Now you need a freaking 1,000 out of 10 to snap you back out of it. Do you see how over time things get harder? Because once that 200 out of 10 moment becomes your norm and you're numb to it, now you need something stronger. There's a reason why these addicts don't get the same high off of whatever they're doing, and they need more. Oh, six beers doesn't get me buzz anymore. Now I need 12. Oh, heroin doesn't get me freaking high anymore. Let me try heroin and cocaine. Oh, the blackjack table, it's not making me enough money anymore. Let me try roulette and blackjack. They need more because the norm they were used to no longer affects them. Everything in life is the same way. There's a reason why so many people don't work out. Because their norm of what they're used to, it doesn't bother them anymore. People who have been fat for 20, 30 years, they bother them anymore. Yeah, it hurts. They probably don't want to be fat, and they probably would love to lose weight. But shaming them is not a 200 out of 10. It's just not. They've been so used to it their whole entire life that it doesn't, it doesn't even move the needle. Now, some people it does. And that's why there's an approach differently for every single person that you deal with. But some people, it doesn't bother them, they need something stronger.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

Freaking uh my last client, one of my last clients. My man had a heart attack and gallstones.

SPEAKER_01 36:18

And he's like, the pain was unbearable. That was his 200 out of ten. And he signed up. He's like, I don't want to feel like that ever again. So he signed up. 200 out of 10. It took a heart attack and gallstones. Irrational. Is it making sense now? It sounds so irrational. Why wait till you're almost till you almost die to sign up for coaching that if you would have just signed up earlier, you could have prevented the heart attack at the callstones. Because they're not in a rational state of mind. Because they're so used to feeling like crap that it has become their norm so it doesn't bother them. My father literally stage four kidney disease. Stage four kidney disease. He still is eating like absolute crap. We went to the doctor. The doctor told him, He's like, hey. You stay on this, you continue down this course and you don't lose weight? I'm giving you less than ten years. You ever seen a grown man cry? I have. That day. That day. He had his 200 out of 10 moment. The doctor gave him less than 10 years if he continued down the path he's on. So what did he do? He lost 20 pounds. Or now I have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

Our relationship is not the best.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

But I still helped him for six months because he is my father. And if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. So I'm not gonna hate the man. But I don't agree with what he did, and I don't agree with his current lifestyle. But that's neither here nor there. The point I was making is he had his 200 out of 10 moment.

SPEAKER_02 39:09

Irrational.

SPEAKER_01 39:13

You needed a doctor to tell you that your time's gonna be cut if you continue down this path in stage four kidney disease. You already have to get dialysis. What else do you need? You already have type 2 diabetes. My man literally on eight met eight different medications. Say, bro, what other signs did you need? Well, they're rational. Not an irrational state of mind. Why? Because it's his norm. This is what I need y'all to understand. And if you can understand it, you can start to see the signs, and you can start to break free from the control of your own body. Maybe you don't need that 200 out of 10 moment to change. Maybe you can see the signs and listen to what I'm saying and realize that your life is not going in the direction that you want it to. Maybe you'll realize how much time you've wasted living in a norm that shouldn't be considered normal. A state of consistent misery, a state of consistent hatred, a state of consistently hating, waking up, not looking forward to anything, no purpose, no guidance, no ambition, no morals, no value, no principles, no priorities, no goals, no habits.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

Like what what are you even doing? Like, what is the point of anything that you do? That's that's the life you enjoy and living. That's your norm. That's your norm. That's your norm.

Choose Change Before Life Chooses For You

SPEAKER_02 41:13

You gotta wake up.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

You have to wake up to reality. You look in that mirror and you say, I'm not where I wanted to be. And it's my fault. But now I'm gonna change that. And then you bypass the status quo of waiting on your 210 moment to change, and you start that change now. You sign up for coaching with me, and you get your life in order so you can take care of your family, so you can contribute to society, so you can become a person that people look up to and role model their life after you, and then they change for the better, and then they pass it forward.

SPEAKER_02 42:19

What greater impact can you leave on this world?

SPEAKER_01 42:27

Hmm? What greater impact can you leave on this world than being a good role model that inspires others to do good? Sure, you can build some Fortune 500 company and make all this money, give all these people jobs. Sure, you can do that. But if all those people are miserable and living in the same norm as you, full of hatred, no guidance, no morals, no principles, no values, no priorities, no habits, constant fight or flight, bodies in disarray, sick, decay. Life feels meaningless and purposeless. Void in their heart is as big as the one in yours right now.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

What good is a Fortune 500 company?

SPEAKER_02 43:31

Who cares?

SPEAKER_01 43:33

If you don't feel fulfilled from life, nothing else matters. Just look to all these celebrities that have all this money and end up committing suicide. Because the void only grows deeper the longer you let it go. It builds. And builds and builds. And like I said, the 200 out of 10 moment comes, either it changes you or you drowned. But yeah. Kind of got dark there for a second. That's what I got for you guys today. I just need y'all to understand the importance of taking your life serious. Because it's really in your hands. There's nothing that anyone else can do for you in this situation. You can either listen to the words I'm saying and choose to ignore them, or you can listen and implement change. But you know I'm right. Just look at your life. You tell me if you're where you wanted to be, or you're working towards where you want to be. Do you have goals, principles, priorities? You tell me. Do you look in yourself in the mirror and be like, oh wow, I'm killing it? Or are you just depressed every time you look in the mirror and thinking you could do better? You

Adult Conflict Porn Ultimatums And Trust

SPEAKER_01 45:09

tell me. Look at your relationship. Is it good? Is it healthy? Don't say it's normal. Because we just talked about that. Is it good? Is it healthy? And don't say, oh, well, everybody does that, because we don't. There's no fighting going on in my relationship. I'd say that right now. Because neither one of us react. We act. We have an issue with one another, we bring it up to each other. And we'll talk about it like grown adults.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

There's no fighting. So no, not everybody does that.

SPEAKER_01 45:47

Not everybody believes marriage is hard. Marriage is hard work because it shouldn't be. Why? Because you already did all the hard work to get yourself in the position to make things easier in life. Then you attract the person that has also done that. And then you get together and you act like grown adults. She had a problem with my porn use. What did she do? She brought it to my attention. What did we do? We talked about it. Did I feel some type of way that wanted me to stop looking at porn? Initially? Yes. Why? Because, in my opinion, it's like, well, it's my wife. I can do what I want. And if it bothers you, too bad. That's not how I, that's not how it went, but that's my. I'm just using that as an example. And then I started to see the damage it was causing her. And then she gave me the ultimatum. And I made a decision. 210 moment. And I chose to change. But it wasn't an argument that we had. We talked it out. I heard her side, she heard my side. That's why initially she said, well, if you're gonna do it, just let me know when you're gonna do it so I don't feel as bad and have to always constantly worry about you doing it. And I said, okay. But that wasn't enough because it still hurt her knowing that I was watching porn instead of instead of sleeping with her. So you talk it out. You have issues, you talk them out. That's what adults do. But yeah. That's enough. Um, I still got a whole hour. So I'm gonna leave it right here.

Wrap-Up And Quick Ask

SPEAKER_01 47:31

And if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to like, comment, and share and leave that five star review. And until next time, see ya!