Car Chronicles EP 14: Who Are You Without The Label You Defend

Working long days, driving for hours, and crawling into bed with no time to breathe is how a lot of people end up stuck. That kind of schedule makes sleep worse, stress higher, and “easy comfort” feel like the only option. So I zoom out from the usual relationship talk and get into fitness, not as a gym flex, but as a practical path to self-mastery that starts embarrassingly small: consistent movement, even if that just means a 30-minute walk.

Then I get into the real reason so many people stay obese even when they say they want energy, better sleep, less pain, and a longer life. It is identity. If you’ve built a personality, a friend group, or an online community around being “the fat person,” change feels like losing yourself. That is where the body positivity conversation goes off the rails, and I explain why I can’t support “healthy at any size” as a blanket message when obesity, metabolic syndrome, and emotional eating are clearly tied to preventable disease.

We also talk through the health chain reaction in plain language: blood sugar issues, insulin resistance, cholesterol and heart risk, fatty liver, gut and thyroid problems, and how it all compounds until the gym feels impossible. I share how seeing the worst in humanity through police work shaped my outlook, why joyful spaces like weddings and the beach matter, and why community and purpose beat any label you defend. If this hits a nerve, subscribe, share it with someone you care about, and leave a five-star review so more people find it.

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Transcript

Road Work And Wedding Schedule

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Yes, sir. You know what that means. Back on the road. Day two of this high intent.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Wedding. Um I'm probably gonna upload these episodes all back to back to back to back to back to back. Cause I be getting home at 10 p.m.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

And then I'm in, I gotta get to bed, and I'm probably I probably fall asleep. Because I really don't have a chance to wind down or anything, so I probably fall asleep around 11. And then I gotta get up at 4 just to drive back out here. So literally have zero time to get anything done. Unless I don't want any sleep. And then I'll be a freaking corpse. Yeah, so so yesterday I talked about the wedding and how I was late because of the schedule moving all over the place, and they let me know that I was supposed to work the day I was supposed to work. Or the the day before I was supposed to work, they let me know I was supposed to work when I was asleep. So I didn't find out I was working until I woke up. And so I'm like rushing, right? And I get there thinking that you know they were gonna like need me, and I was supposed to uh be doing something important. Well, I was I wasn't, I got there, and the other guard that was there, he was just sitting there chilling. He was like, What's up, man? I was like, oh shoot, okay, well, and see, and this is why I said I'm not it's all about your mindset. You know, I was kind of tripping at first because like I hate being late. I was like, you know what, let me just not let this be there for the day, and we just see how things go. When I got there, he was chill, the day was chill, the people were chill, everybody was chill. Until big boss man came out, and he just seemed so angry, but I think he just more worried about the venue being set up the way he wants it. So he got way more important things on his mind than dealing with security. So there's that. Yeah. It's definitely a very, very, very important person that's getting married. A VIP, if you will, here in San Antonio. I will not say any names, but just know Saturday is gonna be a very long day. And I'm gonna have some some pictures, maybe, maybe take a little couple videos. Because originally I wasn't gonna work Saturday, but then I was like, man, I'm here Wednesday, Thursday, Friday for all the setup, and not to see it all play out would just be a travesty. So I was like, hey, y'all got any spots for Saturday? He's like, yeah, man, I got one more spot. I'll take it. So now I'm working Friday, or Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Then off Sunday, pack Monday, leave Tuesday, Miami Wednesday. So yeah, that's the next course of these events. But yeah, other than that, like I said, that was a good time. Yeah. I'm still a little sick, man. I've been, it's just my it's just a cough I got. And it's funny because I don't mean I I coughed a little bit while I was working, right? And then I get home and I'm trying to go to sleep, and I'm coughing like crazy. My wife was so annoyed. She was so annoyed, bro. I'm like, dang, bro, I can't freaking help it. But I kept her up last night, or the night before coughing. It was way worse. I was coughing like I woke up like every hour coughing. And of course, it scared her and woke her up. And then I came home and I started coughing. You're still dolphin? I was like, yeah. She's like, I'm like, God. It's like, damn, bro, I can't help it. I'm sick.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

But I feel her pain. Because that keeps her up. I almost went to the couch, but then I stopped coughing when I fell asleep. So yeah, there's all that interesting dynamic between being sick. I usually don't get sick, and I'm glad I did.

Switching From Relationships To Fitness

Identity Crisis Behind Body Positivity

SPEAKER_02 5:55

You know, you get sick, and then you know your immune system is working because it fights it off. I really I don't go to the hospital, except for my every six months the VA checkups that I have to go to. And outside of that, I don't go to the hospital. So unless I'm like bleeding profusely, I don't know, I don't know from what, from whatever, I'm probably not gonna go to the hospital. Or unless I break a bone or something, I'm not gonna go to the hospital. But even though I broke a couple of my fingers, I didn't go to the hospital. That's rather healed all crooked. I look like an old boy from Scary Movie 2, I think. Ram a strong hand. It ain't that bad, but you get the gist. All right, anyways, let me start rambling. Y'all probably about to fast forward past all that. I'm just talking up my just talking. All right, let's hop into this episode. I'm gonna switch it up a little bit. I know I've been talking a lot about relationship stuff. That just always seems to be the heaviest thing on my mind. And it seems to be the most things that people are struggling with. But there are other things. And this is one of those things. I want to talk about. It's funny because I am a fitness coach. But I I don't I don't think fitness is the only. Like I said before, I don't believe that fitness is the only way that people are struggling, but I do believe it is the the vessel to help people. And so I don't talk enough about the fitness aspect. At least on Car Chronicles, I mean our whole entire podcast is probably a hundred episodes of fitness stuff. So I want to talk about that today. Now, not in the term like working out and eating right and stuff like that, it's still gonna carry over into self-mastery. So, what does that even mean? What does that even look like? What am I even talking about? I'm glad you asked. So, fitness. And when I say fitness, I just it's an all-encompassing term of you know, basically just exercise, movement, doing something other than just lounging around and being a couch potato. And everybody's on a different level when it comes to fitness, and the entry level to fitness is literally a 30-minute walk consistently. You can be like, yeah, I'm entry level, move some weights around, entry level, right? Ah bro, this GPS is killing me. See the the the issue in Texas, if you take the wrong route and you miss an accent, then you went for a long detour. Anywho. So I think I I truly believe that you know we're 47% obese. I don't know if it's higher or lower, but it's still in the 40s. I know that much. And I do truly believe that people will love to be fit, to lose some weight, to feel better, have energy, to no longer have their knees and back hurt. I do truly feel that a majority of people want that lifestyle. And the unfortunate part is too many people are caught up in an identity crisis, and this is preventing people from making a change. And what do I mean by that? Well, when you begin to identify with being fat, then you don't want to become fit because you're going to lose that part of yourself. You're gonna lose that group. That group is gonna turn on you. And it's no, it's not it's not it's not like it's a secret. I do not agree with the body positivity movement. I do not like what they stand for. Because I don't think you should be preaching saying people can just be healthy at any size, and just saying that people should be allowed to be fat. Because I believe in life is something that should be cherished. Excuse me. And if by all standards of science, obesity, especially morbid obesity, can lead to you cutting your lifetime by a significant amount. And it becomes a thing of being selfish when you are purposely taking time away from your loved ones. That's how I see people who are obese, people who are addicted to alcohol, people who continue to smoke, people who continue to vape, people who continue to have these addictions that cut time off of their life. When you're actively choosing to harm yourself, I can't stand for that. I can't support a movement like that. That's just not morally feasible for me in any means. Because I would be, you know, heartbroken if, you know, somebody close to me was, you know, this is how my uncle died. He died from a drug overdose. And it's like, man, why do you keep using drugs, man? Like it's it's killing you. It's literally killing you. He was a type 1 diabetic. He lost his eyesight from that. And then he became addicted to drugs and died from an overdose.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

My man was, I want to say he was how old was he? 37 man? He was young. And it's like, bro, why?

SPEAKER_02 13:41

It's just like they people don't even think of, like I said, with my anger, the collateral damage that it was doing to everybody else. And this is part of the reason why I was able to rein it in, because I took a look around at the fallout that I was causing. I was like, damn, I'm I'm I'm mad at this thing, but this thing is hurting everybody else. It's because people see you in your most feral state, basically, when you're angry, and it scares them. And I'm like, man, I can't I can't keep doing this on a consistent basis because that look on her face is it hurt. I was like, holy freaking crap, that's what she looks like. She's terrified. And so when people are a part of these movements that are preaching this, and I'm like, man, that's really how y'all feel, huh? Like, and I'm not even trying to joke right now. I'm not even trying to make fun of people right now. This is just straight, like, morality. Good and bad. What I believe is good and bad. I'm like, you're you're literally, you're literally, I don't know, there's people nowadays, 25, early 30s, 350 pounds.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Like, bro, you got kids. Like, is this the life that you want for them?

SPEAKER_02 15:49

Is this the life you wanted for yourself? You can't even you can't do anything. You can barely breathe. You struggle walking. How you gonna have how you find time and energy to invest in nurturing your kids when you can't even find the time and energy to get out of bed and walk.

SPEAKER_00 16:17

How's that life?

SPEAKER_02 16:21

And you know, and and it what really what really gets under my skin is there's a lot of people out here that say, you know, the fat people are lazy and things like that. And I'm like, okay, to some extent this is true. To when it comes to like exercise and diet, they're lazy. But there's fat people, they work, they work hard. You know, it's all relative to them. And some of the some fat people have amazing personalities, they're real cool people, and I be I look at them like, dang, man, if you just lost some weight, dude, you could you could take you could take over, you could take over the world. Like I'm massage therapist, man. I love this dude, and he's trying to lose weight, but it's like, bro, there's a there's a difference, and I've talked about this. There's a difference between dipping your toes in and actually trying. Like he's a toe dipper. He'll say, Oh, you know, well, I'm doing this and this. When I have the time, I'm like, come on, man. You ain't getting no younger. And it's like, bro, he's a cool, chill guy, and I would just hate to randomly know. Like, I show up to the freaking massage problem one day and they're like, oh yeah, he passed. It's like, dang, bro, that would freaking suck.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

For something that you could have prevented? This is this is what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

And there's another there's another one I work with. She's she's cool as hell, man. We we have a conversation every day about something different.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

I'm like, man, dude.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

I couldn't imagine showing up to work one day and you're just gone.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Like, it wouldn't feel the same. Not having those conversations anymore.

Preventable Death And Collateral Damage

SPEAKER_02 18:40

It would just feel like something was missing. And then all the people that work there would also be devastated. Do you see how much damage there is in the collateral side of things because of your own behaviors, they don't only just affect you. And this is what I'm getting. And this is why it's not even about trying to shame them or make them feel some type of way. This is like, and this is why I say I'm like, I'm serious, this is like real life, this is morality. And this is deeper than just fat shaming. This is like, yeah, hey, this is coming from the heart when I tell y'all guys. It's like, why are why are y'all why are y'all doing this? There are people that care about you. And there are people that would be completely devastated to see you going. And for you to die from something that was preventable, it it hurts one thousand times more. People out here dying from heart attacks, bro, because they're cholesterol. It's like come on, man. If you would have just lost a little bit of weight, a little bit of fat, took it serious, you'd still be alive.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

But for but for what? For what? To eat food, bro?

SPEAKER_02 20:34

Are we serious right now? Because you can't stop eating food? Because you want to just be able to eat food? And this is the and this is the issue I get because it becomes a double-edged sword because they want to stand on their pride so much and prove to the world that that this is who they are and they're gonna do what they want, and so they keep pushing it further, further and further and further, and it's like there's a point. Like I talked about in the episode with the pain, there's a point where that pain point, now you need a 600 out of 10. And when they get so used to it, man, they just keep eating and eating. The disease gets worse and worse, they gain more and more weight, and it becomes harder and harder to actually get into the gym. Now you're not now they don't get into the gym out of shame, out of fear of being judged. Now they're completely distraught over their body. You don't even want to look at yourself. Now you're mentally destroying yourself behind the scenes, but on social media, you'd be posting about how much you love being fat. It's like, man, you're living this. This dual life. And now it's draining you on all fronts. And all for what? For what? What's the reasoning behind it? I'ma need some type of logical explanation to why food and eating whatever you want, however you want to, whenever you want to, is more important than living a long life.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Please enlighten me. Because the science is there.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

I don't care how many studies you go look up and try to that are trying to disprove what we've already known over the course of the years that obesity is bad. Okay? It's just bad. Metabolic syndrome, however you want to look at it, leads to a whole slew of issues. Gut issues, thyroid issues, joint issues, hormonal issues, liver issues, heart issues. It affects every system in the body. There is no form that it is good in. There's no size that obesity is good in. And then they always try to flip it to anorexia. But yeah, that's just as bad. Stop trying to deflect the issue. The issue isn't anorexia or obesity. The issue is you. The issue is why you are doing it to begin with. You're so afraid of that community coming after you and tearing you down and potentially canceling you. And you don't want to lose the identity because that's all you know lasts however long you've been doing it. That you're afraid to do it. You're afraid to lose weight. You're afraid to get in the gym. You're afraid to fix your life.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

That's what it comes down to. There's nothing else. There's nothing else. That is the reasons. You are afraid.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

Because you're not going to sit here and tell me that you wouldn't love having more energy. You wouldn't love to be able to sleep at night. You wouldn't love to have to have no knee pain, no back pain, to be able to walk upstairs without getting winded. You're not going to sit here and tell me you wouldn't love that. To be able to fit in a booth, to not get a seatbelt extender. Stop playing with me, bro. Y'all be lying to yourselves, and that's the issue. You do not enjoy being fat, having a wash under your skin folds, having a different smell, not being able to take care of yourself. You don't love that. You're out of your freaking goddamn mind. Trying to say you're happy. You're freaking lying to yourself.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

All of y'all are lying to yourselves. You're afraid. You know that you've you're too far gone.

SPEAKER_02 25:20

And so now you just have to keep going down the path that you're on because you don't think there's a way that you can turn back. But there's a way. You just have to unweave yourself from this false identity you have created and stop identifying as being fat. Stop using this stupid language as fat-bodied. Stop talking like them. And talking realistically. You are fat. You are not a person in a fat body, and you are not fat body, whatever all this bull crap means, you are fat.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

And that is not. And that has nothing to do with your value as a human being.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

Okay? And this is where you gotta separate the two. Like I said, there are a bunch of fat people I know that are the coolest people ever, and I don't treat them any differently because they're fat. I treat them based off their character. So all you mother freakers out here that keep saying you you are identifying as a fat or fat-bodied, or using the stupid terms to try to try to get rid of actually what's really causing the issue here. That's like, bro, I don't care. We're not after your character. We're after the fact that you're fat, and fat is just literally an excess amount of calories, and you have an excess amount of body fat that's causing you harm. And all it would take for you to address this issue is to clean up your nutrition and get into the gym. And then you know what that would do? You would literally be the exact same person, just healthier. You see, you see the difference when you're not wrapped in an identity, the only thing that you should be identifying is as is yourself. But do you see the issue that arises when you don't know yourself? Then you can't identify as yourself. You can't be yourself. And it's all it all comes back full circle. I'll be trying to tell y'all. All comes back full circle. It's all it's not even about shame, it's not even about jokes. It's about looking at the real issue at hand. And you're literally harming yourself for the sake of a false identity. For literally, you're giving all your your control to food, to emotional eating. And you don't realize you don't even see the irony in what you're doing. Because a lot of people are saying that, you know, oh, I'm a fat person and I'll eat what I want when I want to, but it's uh you're not, you're not though. Your body is telling you when to, or telling you what to. You're not making any rational decisions. You're not in control of your life. You're out of your freaking mind if you think you're in control of your life. At what point in time do you think somebody in control of their life would intentionally jeopardize it?

SPEAKER_00 29:42

Mate, that makes sense. You know, you know what? Here's a good idea.

How Obesity Breaks The Body

SPEAKER_02 29:46

I'm going to eat myself into an early grave. Sounds like a great idea. Does it? Because that's what you're doing. You know what? I want to feel like absolute crap every single day, so I'm gonna keep on eating. That's that's literally what you are doing. Does that sound like a very rational person? No, it doesn't. It sounds like a person that needs help. It sounds like a person who's been caught up in a movement of people who haven't been able to deal with trauma properly, and it has consumed them to the point where they are pat where they believe they are beyond saving, and the only course of action is continue down and stay the course in their current identity. That's what it sounds like, and they'll give you all the excuses in the world. I've heard all the excuses in the world, bro. I've heard them all. My wife's heard them all. And it's funny because they'll say, Oh, well, my doctor, so you'll listen to the doctor, or some of them don't even listen to the doctors, but isn't but then you don't believe the science behind it. So you can't have your cake and eat it too. They keep going to the doctor expecting some different outcome outside of their weight, but like your weight is the issue. Like, I don't know what you guys are expecting doctors to say when you have an excess amount of body fat that starts to cause an hindrance on the body. Then you get blood sugar imbalance. When your blood sugar is freaking high, next thing you know you have type 2 diabetes, now you're insulin resistant, and then when you have too much cholesterol, and your particle, depending on your particle size, you get the arterial plaque, the next thing you know, you're getting freaking heart attacks. Or your blood, or then when your blood thickens, that's when you get the heart attacks from too much fat in it. Or you get freaking gallbladder issues, so then you have gut issues. Your gut issues lead to your thyroid issues, which leads to your metabolism being out of whack. Bro, it all comes down to being morbidly or obese. You don't even need to be obese to have any of these issues. Why do you think alcohol, drinking alcohol is so deadly?

SPEAKER_00 33:07

Alcohol poisoning is one, but at least a fatty liver.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

Go ahead, look it up, go look up fatty liver. It's the same thing as eating too much and becoming obese. It really is a shame that in this current climate that people stand so divided on simple issues like this, and I see it from both sides, but I lean on the side of okay, but why don't you want to get better? That's my question. Like, what is so wrong with you? What is so wrong with you going to the gym and eating a little bit better? Like, I like I really don't see the issue with it. Like, I don't see the problem. The only time I could potentially see the problem is if you live a current life like mine currently, where I'm working from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., but I have a two-hour draft. So that cuts out literally any time I have to wake up earlier or stay up later, because then I wouldn't get any sleep for 12 hour days. And then not getting sleep is doing more damage than it would for me just to go to the gym. So unless that's your current life 24-7, then I can understand why you might have some issues. But then I would say to you, you should probably try to change that. Because that's not a healthy lifestyle either. I'm only doing it for three days or four days, and then I go back to my regular life. So when I hear these people talking, I'm like, okay, but like, what's so wrong with that? Like, why why are you so bent on being 47% body fat, 300 pounds, struggling physically and mentally? Cause you're not fooling me. I see through all of y'all. You're not fooling me.

SPEAKER_00 36:07

So why are you so hell bent on staying like that? Like why? I wanna know.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

I genuinely want to know.

SPEAKER_00 36:22

Wouldn't life be easier if you lost 150 pounds? Wouldn't it be easier? Wouldn't you feel better?

Police Work And Losing Faith

Imagining Better Uses For Wealth

SPEAKER_02 36:42

Wouldn't it be so nice to finally go of this facade and no longer have to lie about who you are? I feel like that would just make life such a more meaningful thing. Because now you can actually focus on who you really are. Because I guarantee you, when you were 10 years old and you had a dream, your dream was not to be a 350-pound 35-year-old struggling to breathe. My dream when I was a child was to be a cop or a Spider-Man. Obviously, obviously, we had to go with the ladder and become a cop. I became a cop in the Air Force. And now I do security on the outside. But I realized that while I was security forces, my calling was not to be a cop. Okay, this is grunt work and it's not fulfilling. Now, mind you, I enjoy helping people, and to save somebody's life will be the ultimate sacrifice to make for another human being. And that alone would be fulfilling to know that I did my duty to the utmost respect. But being a cop, it it really does show you the worst in humanity, and this is part of the reason why I'm a cynic and have a hard time overcoming that. Because I just saw the worst in humanity domestic violence, suicide, suicide, death people cheating on each other. Freaking pedophilia cases. Like, and it really does give you a different perspective on just how evil humans can be. How evil we are, and how and how we all have that potential in us to be a monster. We'll push to the edge. And part of the reason is because I know I have that in me. Not to be like a freaking pedophile, but just to like if I pulled the trigger is the question I asked myself. If I had to kill somebody, you know, would I be able to come back from that? Or what or would I like to do it more? And that terrifies me. And it was part of the reason why I did not want to pick up a gun again and why I did not want to do security. Because I didn't want to put myself in that situation. And that's what I'm talking about when we all have the potential to be a monster and just that evil. Now I get it, self-defense is self-defense, but it's still killing. And I believe if you kill somebody once, then it becomes easier the second time to do it. And then eventually you're gonna want to do it. Because just like dopamine, it's a high that you can't get anywhere else. So you're gonna be like, okay, what if I kill two people? Excuse me. How would that feel? So yeah. But yeah, that's why uh cop showed me the evil side of humanity, and it really wasn't for me. And for a while, man, I I was in a dark place just because I hated the world. I just hate how there's really not very many, it seemed it seemed like at the time, not very many good people. And it just seemed like everybody was out for themselves and nobody wanted to do anything for anybody. And I still kind of feel that way because I believe there's a lot more good that be that could be done, but just because people are too prideful, they don't get it done. And one example I use is the people that win the lottery, it was like two point something billion. And after taxes, I think they got like 700 million dollars. I'm like, man, 700 million dollars. What did you what did you do with all that money? But they just blew it, bro. They just wasted on freaking irrelevant, selfish things. I was like, man, if I had 700 million dollars, I've had this idea that I wanted to do. And since I love baking and I understand the hardships of being an entrepreneur and opening a business and starting your own business, there's so many costs included in that. And I thought, man, wouldn't it be cool if I won a lottery, I could set up some type of scholarship program for people who own their first business for baking, where I would hold a baking competition, and the person who won, first, second, and third, would all get a certain amount of money towards their business and start it up. I think that would be cool as hell to give people a chance to actually fulfill their dreams.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

Because a lot of us just need a chance.

Why Joyful Communities Matter

Choose Health Over A False Label

Closing And Five-Star Ask

SPEAKER_02 43:12

But I would only want to do it for the people who are actually working towards that, you know? You don't want to just give it to people. You want to you want to know that people are actually gonna take it seriously and are working towards their dream. So that's why I said I hold the competition. And then obviously, whatever I don't know how like the rules and regulations or the legalities of that, then you would obviously the money would have to be used just for the business, not blow it on themselves because that would defeat the whole purpose. I think something like that would be freaking awesome. And then another thing, just because we we live in the HOA, and our HOA is 100% useless for adults, it just has a playground. And I see all these other HOAs that have pools and wrecks. I was like, man, wouldn't it be cool just like win that money and just like build something for the whole community so everybody can go and hang out with their family and they can, you know, potentially meet new people, all become friends, and just everybody's hanging out, having a good time together. Build like a community rec center or something like that. Just something to get back. But these people don't do anything with their goddamn money, man. They all just put it in the freaking stocks and save it. Like, but what the freak are you doing, bro? Use that money for something good. And then they pass it down to their freaking kids who don't who who didn't do anything to earn it. And then they just blow it all on themselves. It's like, man, bro, what a waste of money. But yeah. That's how I feel, anyways. So that's what and that's what I say. There's and I just feel like there's so much more good that could be done in this world that just don't do it, man. Like, maybe it's just because I'm not driven by money. And I will I will much rather see people smiling and laughing, having a good time, hanging out. And that's part of the reason why I love going to the beach. Because, like I said before, that's humanity in its purest form. No negativity, nothing evil going on. People just smiling, laughing, having a good time, and mother nature just out there showing us the beauties of the road. That's why I love the I love the beach, man. I love the ocean. That's why I want to I want a boat so god dang bad. But that's what I would rather see, man. I would rather see people happy than to just harbor all my money for no reason. What the freak are you even gonna do with all that money? And this is why I understand, you know, the left's the left when they talk about the billionaires. I get it. And I wish they would do more with their money as well. But at the same time, I also understand it's their money. So they can do whatever they want with it. I was like, man, you know, you got all this money, you can you can put a couple Reichsitters. But yeah. I just, you know, it'd be cool to have a scholarship for baking. But so that's what I'm talking about. And that's why I don't want to be a cop. That's why I didn't want to be a cop anymore, just because I was tired of seeing the evil. Is nigga stop saying that? Can't see no clear. My god. It's about to start raining. So yeah. That's how I became a cynic. And that's why now when I'm I'm looking at these people and I'm like, man, dude. I was there. I was I was lost in an identity. I just hating and not trusting people. And it really effed me up mentally to the point where I still haven't recovered. Because I still look around and I'd be like, oh wow, these people are still, you know, just doing them and saying F everybody else, I guess. And that's why, you know, I was working those weddings and I was enjoying those weddings because that's another moment where people are just happy, come together and enjoy life, man. That's why I love going to other countries. You see people just out walking, talking, having a good time, enjoying each other's company, not taking life serious, but at the same time, you know, they're taking life serious. And then here, you know, to get back to them to the top of your hand. And I get back to what I was talking about earlier. It's like, why do you want to be 30 years old, 350 pounds, man? There's so much more to life than just food. Than just eaty to prove, to try to prove a point. All you're doing is hurting yourself, you're not hurting them. You can get as fat as you want, you ain't hurting them. They're still living their life, man. They're fit. I have a cheese date every Saturday. I eat. I eat all kinds of crazy food on Saturday. We go on vacation. We eat out on vacation, we go on a cruise, we eat out of the cruise. Excuse me. So you can still eat. But why do you have to do it all the time? Like you can still enjoy life without making it about food. But yeah. I'm not sure how loud this rain is, so I'm gonna go ahead and wrap up this episode right there. I know it's kind of impromptu stop, but don't know if you guys are gonna be able to hear me or not. So yeah. Just take a look, man. Take a look at your identity. Try to figure out if it if you're really a fat person, and this is who you want to be. You know, this is this is what you wanted your life to look like. And you didn't want nothing more for your life, you just want to be known as a fat person. So you can fit into some group created by other people who are riddled with trauma. Or was your intention to be yourself and you just fell into this group? And if that's the case, then just break away. Who cares what they think, bro? It's your life. You wanted to come to a freaking come to a halt because you decided to a cult that doesn't care about how long they live? Don't you got friends, family that care about you? But you're gonna sacrifice all that for these freaking these people that you don't even know? Like I said, sound sound kind of selfish to me. Hey, but I'm just a cynic. Don't listen to me. If you wanna cut your life short, and you want your freaking mom and dad to bury you, by all means, go ahead and keep continuing down the same course. If you got kids, go ahead. Set that example for them so they follow in your footsteps. And then, you know, they inherit your genes and they also die at 30. Go ahead. That's a legacy you wanna leave behind. Sound pretty selfish, like I said. Right. Alright. I'm gonna get up out of here. Uh, if you guys enjoyed this episode, don't forget to like, comment, share. And leave that five star review. And until next time, see ya!