Car Chronicles EP 19: Are You Protecting Your Pride Or Your Partner

A 3:50 a.m. drive home after a luxury wedding has a way of making everything feel louder, clearer, and more honest. We’re tired, we’re sore, and we’re still buzzing from a jaw-dropping drone light show layered over water and fireworks that felt like a professional Fourth of July production. But once the spectacle fades, what sticks is the reality of how these high-end events actually work: smooth guest experience on the outside, constant problem-solving on the inside, and a crew of people you might never see again even though you just built something huge together.

We talk through the behind-the-scenes rhythm of event security and venue operations, from greeting shuttle arrivals to checking stamps to handling small verification hiccups without turning it into a scene. We also get real about the culture of privacy at exclusive weddings, where NDAs and “don’t post that” rules shape how staff moves. If you’ve ever worked a big production, you know the weird feeling after it ends: relief, pride, and then missing the team almost immediately.

Then we land on the main takeaway: adaptation. Watching a new guard handle the night with a hard, robotic approach becomes a perfect example of how being great at “security” is not enough when the environment requires empathy, calm, and social awareness. We connect that directly to relationships and marriage, where the inability to adapt at a meaningful pace turns into constant friction, pride battles, and emotional burnout. We share simple, practical ways we adapt in our own routine to lower stress, build safety, and keep things running smooth.

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Transcript

Late Night Drive After Wedding

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Time for that late night drive. Hey, listen to 3 50 in the morning. But wedding complete. We almost home. The mic was dying, so I was charging it. So y'all only have to endure 20 minutes of me talking. If that. But cleaded. And let me say, let me say this first. I don't got enough time to talk about all the stuff that went on behind the scenes that these people never knew even happened. And then also let me say this. My feet and my knees is cooked. I need and it and the and the and the worst thing about it is tomorrow we want to to the footy land. And then Tuesday, we're literally driving to Miami. So I'm about to be stuck in the car for 19 hours. That's what I want to do. But man, the light, the drone light show was freaking crazy, bro. 20-minute drone water and fireworks show. And these fireworks, my guy, he's he probably spent. Man, it from the from the show, it seemed like he spent$10 million alone on the fireworks. Because them things was launching like it was a 4th of July professional fireworks show. And them things was stomping, bro. He had every single type of firework you could think of launching off into the sky. He had smiley faces. He had hearts. He had stars. He had like uh uh uh he had like sap or jupiter jupiter's one of those rings, right? Bro, he had he had everything, and the drone light show was freaking crazy, bro. First of all, these drones were drones with lights, you know, and they were doing the light show, but then all of a sudden they started shooting out sparks. Like actual sparks. I was like, when the hell could drones do that? And they were doing all kinds of things. They did the Texas flag, they did the Puerto Rican flag, because apparently she's Puerto Rican. They did the Texas mascot, the Puerto Rico mascot, they did hearts, they did cowboys and cowgirls, lasso and cows, or lasso and bulls, they did cowgirls and cowboys riding together on horses, bro. It was crazy, okay. It was crazy. They had the water going with it, too. It was crazy. I got the venue, it was amazing, man. Just the whole setup, the color scheme, the music, the ambiance was on point. Excuse me. I got to be down there and I was the usher for the people getting off the shuttles, you know, talking to them, checking their UV stamps, making sure they were good to go in. We had a couple people that did, well, we had yeah, a couple people that didn't have stamps, so they had to stand by for a minute to so we could verify them on the list, and then they got on the list. Once we verified them, they were able to go in, no issues. Uh everything was everything everything was smooth, man. At least for from the the perspective of the the guest. Like I said, we had some hiccups. Not not security, but just behind the scenes. And overall, man, it was just it was a good time, man. And it and it really what really sucked, what really, really, really, really sucked is all those people that we work with, man, they were cool as hell. All the people from San Diego, uh, the Michigan crew. Everybody was just freaking cool as hell, man. And it the likelihoods of me ever working with them again are like zero. Literally zero. There's probably a zero point zero zero one percent chance I will ever work with any of them again. Because this one, this is it was literally a once-in-a-lifetime event. This wedding was a once-in-a-lifetime event. I mean, people were literally signing NDAs. We had somebody get in trouble for literally posting pictures posting pictures of the venue on their social media. And it really made me miss working with a team, man. I was like, man, dude. I was in there, we were all in there, dude, just freaking going back and forth, having a good time, talking, laughing with each other, and just kicking, just kicking it with each other, you know, making sure everyone was taken care of and just doing the job. But you know, having fun with it. I was like, man, dude, I was just sitting there. I was like, damn, I missed this. Working with a team, bro. And then, like I said, everybody else that was supporting the venue, man, they were just cool as hell. Just cool people in general. And I'm like, man, dude. Like part of me was glad that the night was over. Because, like, man, you get it, you get back attached to that that lifestyle of you know being part of a team. And it's like the more attached you get, the harder it's to break away. And I was like, well, I'm glad the wedding ended, and I'm glad I'm not going back because I was like, I don't want this feeling creeping back in. But so yeah, so the wedding went good. Everything was freaking the client loved it, man. They were happy, they were all in a dancing, having a good time, enjoying themselves, taking pictures. Everybody loved it. So overall, the night was a success. And yeah, that's pretty much it for the wedding. I wish I had time to tell you guys the stories, but 15 minutes is not enough time. So I might have to sprinkle them in in some episodes. Oh, I got plenty of examples for some things to use about something that'll come up. And best believe I'm gonna be posting that drone, some of that drone show footage on my Instagram now that the wedding's over. Posting that. Stop playing with me. So, yeah. Uh, there is a lesson in this though that I do want to give. Okay. So there was a new guard, and this was like, she's like new, and it's her first time. It seemed like this was her first time doing this type of event. And these types of events require a certain type of personality, and you have to be able to blend security and politics together. Because the type of guest and the clientele that are at these events, you can't just talk to a certain way, and you can't treat them a certain way, regardless if you're in the right or not. Because they have enough money to make any of their problems go away, and they got enough money to give you all the headaches in the world. So you have to be very, very careful with how you deal with this clientele. Okay, she was new, and she's very good at security, but she was not good at being political and taking an empathetic approach to speaking to people. When she spoke to people, it was stern and sharp, very copish-like talking. And she would stand at parade rest, stand at attention, and just do things that and when she walked, she was very robotic, and she was watching people like a hawk. And that's just not the type of stress that the guests want. They don't want to feel like they're being under, like they don't want to feel like they're under surveillance. So that's why when we're in the reception hall, you know, security is to hang back and on the outskirts of the hall. So the guests don't feel like we're hovering over them and they don't get stressed out. But also, she would draw attention to herself by the way she was walking, like it was very robotic. But she was also a marine. So it made sense into that aspect. But here, and this is this is what I'm getting at for the lesson. There are there there are things that are you know are okay. Like her, everything was okay, okay. Just based off of what I just said, you know, the her security, the way she talked, uh, her being robotic, and the way she acted, all that's okay. But you have to be able to adapt to your environment at a at a sorry, I can't find the word I'm looking for right now. I'm just gonna say at a meaningful pace when you're in a new environment. Okay, and this is just in general. And like I said, regardless if it's your first time or your 100th time, when the situation arises, you need to be able to adapt. And by the way, all every other every other security guard was acting. We were all nonchalant, relaxed, chilling, just walking back and forth, talking to each other, having a good time. We all had free room of the facility. And she was the only one that was acting a certain way. So you have to look around you and you need to blend in to your environment. So without the capacity to be able to adapt, this carries over into relationships, okay? A lot of people don't know how to adapt in a relationship, they're they're only able to function in their own realm of what they're comfortable with because a lot of people are afraid to try to do something different because of the fear of the unknown or what that different might bring. And I talked about this with the whole uh mother and thing and the father and thing, I believe it was that episode about adapting and being able to take over for your child when the mother needs a break. And if you're not able to adapt to certain things like that, that it can cause a rift in the marriage, and then eventually the marriage ends up crumbling, and you blame the mother or the wife when it reactions your lack of ability to be able to adapt to the situation that caused it to crumble. So without the ability to adapt in a meaningful pace, then the relationship will surely fall apart. And this is one of the extraordinary talents that my wife has is that she has the capacity to adapt at a very rapid speed. So we'll like we'll be talking, and I don't I don't even know. I can't even sorry, I can't even think of an example right now to give to you guys. But we'll be talking, say we'll be talking about something. And then like one or two days later, I would already start to notice that she's already implementing what we talked about. So that and and that's what I'm getting at when I say at a meaningful speed. It's like, oh, you you receive the information, or you're you're you're just observing, you know, everything that's going on, and you're able to make the adaptations to what's going on at a very fast pace. That sometimes it seems so seamless, and then one thing, one day things are you know rough, and then a couple days later, all of a sudden you're like, man, things are smooth. I was like, what the freak is going on? Why do things feel different? Then you realize that you know they they're adapting to you. A lot of relationships don't adapt to one another. Because a lot of people, you know, they they bump heads a lot, and they they they play the game of pride, and they feel like they shouldn't have to cater to the other person. So neither person adapts to the other person, and it's just a continued, you know, head button contest. And if you like look at studies, you know when people are couples, are good couples who have been around for a while and are adapting to each other because you start to take on their characteristics. You know, you start to say some of the things that they say, you start to act like they act, you know, talk like they talk, do things that they do. That's when you know, when you start taking on these characteristics, it's kind of like a sign that you're allowing your body to adapt because you feel like you're a safe enough environment that your body's like, okay, I feel fine. Let's try to figure out how we can make this better. And you know, if doing this is gonna make it better and make me feel safer, okay, let's do that. But you can also adapt in a negative sense to what your body is like, oh wow, I'm and I feel terrified. And then it can adapt coping coping mechanisms to deal with that terror. So it it's uh it can be a double-edged sword, but we're talking about it in the uh positive sense here. So so for the for the example I was giving about her, she should have been able to look around and see how everybody else is enjoying themselves and just loosened up a little bit and just relaxed, and she wouldn't have been so robotic. And things, well, there were things didn't go smooth, but for from the the perspective of us, it would have looked a lot more smoother and we would have looked a lot more cohesive. So when you're in your relationship and you, you know, things are going sideways, you want to look around and see, okay, how can I adapt to this relationship to make things run better? Say my girlfriend is, you know, having a hard time uh getting off work, going to the gym, and having to do XYZ after work. Okay. So maybe I can come home and then I'll just prep XYZ for her. So when she comes home from the gym, XYZ is already prepped, so it's gonna save her some time, and that's gonna relieve some stress from her, and that's an adaptation, that's a positive adaptation. And now what happens is she knows that she doesn't have to do that anymore because she's gonna rely on you to prep XYZ, and that's gonna alleviate the stress from her. She's gonna feel safer and feel more confident by getting her work done. And when she's less stressed, she's not gonna be in a fight or flight all the time. She's gonna be able to start making rational decisions, and rational decisions lead to positive changes in the relationship because she won't be as emotional or have all these emotional outbursts. So that's just one example of how an adaptation can really play a positive role in a relationship. And so if she would have just looked around and saw that everybody else was relaxed and wasn't on high alert, she then could have adapted that because you don't want to operate, you don't want to operate in the orange or whatever color they want to use for uh hyper-vigilance because you're gonna burn yourself out being hyper-vigilant like that in an environment that doesn't call for it. Excuse me, but yeah, so a little simple lesson with the final lay-not drive for the wedding. Uh, like I said, you're gonna have it in chronological order, and I'll make sure I get all those out at my next couple weeks because, like I said, we're gonna be in Miami, so I probably won't be doing any work while I'm in Miami. But other than that, man, uh thank you guys again for listening to these episodes. Like I said, I'm gonna try to sprinkle some of these stories in if I remember to, the sprinkler woman about the wedding. And uh I know it was a short lesson, but hopefully you understood what I was talking about when it comes to adaptations, and the the big takeaway is that you need to pay attention to your relationship in order to see these things because if you're watching your significant other, then you'll be able to tell what they're struggling with without even them saying anything. Like for cheat days, if I get up before her, I'll get the stand mixer out, I'll get the flour out, I'll get the garlic out, I'll get the garlic salt out. Excuse me. I'll get the freaking dope, the dope pad out, I'll get everything out and prep for her. So when she wakes up, all she has to do is just add everything to the mixer and then make the biscuits. So that like I said, that's one of the things about adaptation. You know, you just adapt to your significant other. And then you guys inadvertently end up counterbalancing each other's stressors because you know, her at one of her things is, you know, she woke up, she will wake up, she makes my breakfast. Because she knows I sleep in a little bit later than her. So she's she's already up, she makes it. And now I don't have to spend the next 30 minutes to 45 minutes or however long it would take to make my breakfast. And it's already done. So that saves me time, which allows us to go to the gym earlier, which allows our work schedule to be earlier. So we don't have to push everything back. So instead of you know going to the gym at 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock, we get to the gym by 9 o'clock and we're out by 10, 10:30. And then we get home and then we do our client work from 11 to about 2:33. And then we have the mentorship call at 3:30. And then after 3:30, we do any remaining work if we have anything to do for our clients. And if not, then we just have our time to prep content if we want to, or do anything that we want to do. And I usually choose to play video games if I have no content or client work to prep. And so that's just one of the another example of how adaptations work in our relationship. But yeah, uh, I think I'll leave that right now. Right now, right there, and hopefully you guys enjoyed this episode. If you did, don't forget to like and share and follow my review. And until next time, see ya!