Car Chronicles EP 22: Colorado Bound For A Veterans Health Summit

Colorado trip, big nerves, and a moment we still can’t believe is real: Stephanie gets invited to speak at a Veterans Health Summit as a panelist, and we talk through why that matters for the veteran community. A huge part of our world is helping military members and veterans who feel brushed off or overwhelmed, especially around diabetes management. We get into prediabetes, type 1 diabetes, and type 2 diabetes, plus what it looks like when people are trying to find real support through the VA, primary care, and coaching that actually fits everyday life. 

Then the conversation turns heavy, fast. Veteran mental health and veteran suicide prevention can’t be solved by dumping more links into an already crowded “resource” ocean. I share what it feels like to leave the military and lose structure, identity, friends, and mission almost instantly, and why that transition gap creates dread that information alone can’t touch. We talk about purpose as the missing ingredient, addiction as a symptom of emptiness, and a practical idea: a true pipeline from separation into structured jobs and communities so veterans aren’t left to free-fall. 

We also pivot into relationships and the word submissive. I explain what I mean and what I don’t mean, why trust and respect come first, and how healing changes who you pick and what you tolerate. There’s also a deeply personal story about our dog Achilles and the kind of decision that stays with you forever. 

If this hits home, subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a five-star review. What do you think would actually help veterans rebuild purpose after service?

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Transcript

Road Trip And Big News

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Yes, sir. You know what that means. Back on the road again. And it's Thursday. Headed to the church. And today's a big day. Today is a day. We are heading to Colorado after I get off. Why are we heading to Colorado, you might ask? Well, thank you for asking. We are headed to Colorado because Stephanie was asked if she would be willing to speak at a Veterans Health Summit. And it's still crazy to think that she was asked to do this. Because these are things that you like, you never expect. You know, you always see the person on the stage, but you would never expect to be the person on stage. And Mike reached out to her because of Valhalla Athletics and what we stood for, and what we stand for, stood for, past tense, what we stand for. And because she's in the army, I'm retired. Well, I'm a veteran in the Air Force. And, you know, literally 95% of our clients are military or veterans. He was like, I want you guys to come and be part of this summit. And she's going to be one of the panelists. And she will be talking about how summits and you know forms like the one she's going to be part of bring awareness to veterans and how they can get help from diabetes, prediabetes, type 1 diabetes, type 2 diabetes, and how they can get help with that. And she's going to have the luxury to be able to talk about how Valhallax can help veterans and military and just in general people who are dealing with diabetes and having gotten the help they need through the VA or through their primary care doctor. And if you guys have been listening to me talk for however long now, then you know where I stand when it comes to doctors. And you know what we stand for when it comes to helping people. So to actually get to see all of our work pay off. And we get to be on stage at a Veterans Health Summit that's gonna be streamed on Facebook and YouTube and gonna be put on Amazon Prime. I think that's really freaking. So that's what you know, big reveal. That's what I was talking about, what I couldn't talk about, because we had to make sure that everything was solidified. And, you know, once I got the questions, or I got the questions, once we got the questions and we knew exactly what we were gonna be talking about, then that's when I knew it was solidified, and that's when I was like, okay, we're doing it, we're going. So that's what we got 12-hour drive, light work. Uh, and then we'll be in Colorado tomorrow. And then we'll be there Saturday, Sunday. And we haven't decided yet if we're gonna leave Sunday or Monday, but we're gonna be staying for the branch, the Armed Forces basketball game. That's what's by. And it's where all branches competing in basketball tournaments. You know, they do like a WNBA and the NBA, but it's military basketball association. So it's women in the military and men in the military, and then they compete just like the NBA and the WNBA, and then they have their own individual championships. And so we're gonna be going to that game, the championship game, on Sunday. So it's gonna be a real late night, and we don't know if we're gonna leave Sunday or Monday. But overall in general, man, I think it's gonna be a really good, good event. And I'm gonna get into the topic here because I want to talk about two things. And I really wish I was part of the the suicide panel because as a veteran myself and having dealt with multiple people who have attempted suicide, and two that have come close to it from overdosing. Suicide is one of those things that really hits home because as you know, if you've been listening, my mother attempted suicide. And the the two that I dealt with as security forces in the Air Force, and the biggest issue that the military has not been able to bridge the gap is having an overwhelming amount of resources for veterans and military in general to get help with suicide and why they actually do it. Because there's so much information, there's so many different resources, and don't get me wrong, I think the VA Health Summit is a good idea, but the way I see it, it's you're just giving out more information, you're just giving out more resources to an already overly vast sea of information. Like, does suicide really need more awareness? For people very aware of it, do we need a solution? So I want to just real quick, and then I'll I'll get on to what I wanted to talk about today. When I was transitioning out of the Air Force, going through TAPS, you go there, it's a it's a two-week class, and you literally, they just bombard you with information, okay? You sit there, they have speakers come in, they show PowerPoints, they tell you maybe it maybe it was only a week-on class. I can't remember the exact date. How long it took, but and they bombard you with all this information, PowerPoints, and they just talk at you for eight hours. Then, next thing you know, you're out of the military. Okay, so even with all this information in this folder with all these papers in it that you know tells me how to do XYZ, that's not the issue. Because, like I just said, I have plenty of information. The issue is that I overnight, it's literally, listen to me, it's literally the craziest thing in the world. One day I was in the air force, okay. That same day, I drove out of the gate, and that was the last time I was in the air force. It happens just that fast in the same day, gone. My whole entire career, gone in not seconds, driving off base over, and I don't think you understand the sense of dread that overwhelms somebody whose entire life was the military. They lost everything, purpose, camaraderie, career, friends. All gone in a matter of seconds. That amount of emotional trauma is what causes people to spiral down the path and then eventually commit suicide. All of the information, all of the world cannot help someone deal with that. So having a what what they haven't learned is how to bridge that transition gap so it doesn't feel so overwhelming. And I understand it's also on the person to set themselves up for success when they do get out, so they can transition maybe into a federal job or maybe into the state government job, somewhere where there's structure, you know, and community like they found in the military. But I believe just like there's USA jobs, there should be a pipeline for veterans that during the transition period, like we go through TAPS for a week or two weeks or however long it is, there should be a pipeline specifically for people who are going to be veterans that want to continue in the federal government, they should just be able to go to that pipeline and they help you with getting a resume, they help you with applying to federal jobs or state jobs, and they help you set up the transition. So right when you get out, instead of just boom, cut off from everything, you're starting a new job in the federal government or in the state government where you have that same structure. Now you you're able to rebuild that camaraderie, find new friends, you know, and you have a career again. So you have purpose. Now you have purpose. That's the that's the main key that they're missing. It's purpose. Veterans, we are killing ourselves because we lost our will to live, because we no longer feel like we have a purpose. That is the reason. That's what I believe the true reason veterans kill themselves is because they lose purpose. They lost the purpose, they lost the will to live. So if they had something like that set up, instead of just bombarding us with information, that would be far more beneficial than just one day you're in, the same day you're out, and your whole entire life comes to a screeching halt because now you gotta figure out what the hell you're gonna do next. And yeah, you have all this information, but all this information, just like within the fitness realm, leads to paralysis. Because you have too much, you don't you don't know what to do next, you don't know who you should call, and then you just get paralyzed. So I think something like that would be far more beneficial than the current system we have now. Now, anyways. Sorry, I had to get that off my chest because I just think they're getting it wrong. And it's, I mean, the suicides are are getting worse, and it's really a sad thing to see that you you don't understand that you're looking at it from a statistical informational standpoint of how can we provide more help when in reality you need to be looking at it from an in standpoint of what do they need to feel like they don't have to. Because someone who has a purpose is not going to feel like they need to commit suicide. I was telling Stephanie, I was like, if everything went to crap right now and we ended up on the street, I would be A-OK because I have you. I have a purpose, I have a reason to live. But if you don't have that, and if your career, if the military was that, and you lose that all overnight, and you don't cover from that emotional trauma because you don't have friends now, you don't have a support system, you don't have people you could talk to, so you just spiral. And when you start to spiral, everything in life is gonna seem like you can't do anything right because you're gonna be hyper-fixated on the mistakes, so you're gonna keep making them over and over and over and over. That trauma is gonna bleed into whatever relationships you have, you're gonna take out your trauma on others because you're gonna be depressed, so you're not gonna want to talk to nobody, or if you do talk to people, you're gonna be irritated more easily. You people are gonna start saying you've changed, and then people are gonna be giving you the cold shoulder because they don't want to deal with you because of the state you're in, and you're gonna feel like people don't care. And the next thing you know, you're gone. Well, people don't care about me, then why am I here? That's the issue. It's not the information, it's not the awareness, it's trinsic. You we feel like we are missing something. That's why they fall into addiction, drugs, alcohol, horror, adrenaline-seeking behavior. It's the dopamine because we feel empty, so we're trying to fill that void. Prostitutes. Anything that makes them feel something. The next thing you know, drug addiction. Now they're homeless because they can't, they got fired and they can't pay their bills. And that's that's where we're missing out, okay? I promise you, it's not an information problem, it's not an awareness problem, it's an intrinsic missing purpose, value, problem. All right, so let's hop on to let's hop on to the actual topic today. Holy crap, man. I I just I don't know, man. I just feel like they're just missing the mark here, and I really wish I could stand up there and talk about it. Anyways. Alright, so what I actually wanted to talk about today was a big issue I see with a lot of women nowadays, and I I I actually do kind of blame the men for this. Is women not wanting to be submissive. And I think how it's used in the red pill community further drives them away from wanting to be submissive. Oh, you to a man, you need to make sure the man is doing X, Y, Z and he's in charge, and it's just how they how they say it, how they come off, makes it seem like it's not something that a woman will want to do. And in reality, I think a lighter term would be submissive, but all you're really doing when you say that is passing on your authority to the man because you respect him enough to lead the relationship and you trust him enough that he has both of your best interests in mind when it comes to making decisions in the relationship. Like, you still have your independence because you can still go be independent, you still have your free will, you still have your your autonomy, you're just giving the authority for decisions, final says on the relationship over to the man because you respect him enough in regards to making positive decisions for the relationship. Because there are hard decisions that are going to have to be made in the relationship, and when there are too many chiefs, chiefs, and not enough Indians, in this situation when there's two chiefs and no Indians, you're going to be pulling the relationship in two opposite directions if both of you guys don't agree on whatever the issue is. And I'll give you a very well, we're already talking about to the depression. When we were at the vet and we brought Achilles in because of his seizures. And the time this time that we brought him in, we had never seen his seizures this bad. This is a day where he's not coming back home with us. And I'll never forget this day. It's like literally burned into my mind. But we get to the vet, and we're talking to the vet, and she's telling us, like, yep, he's gonna have to go see a neurologist, and he's gonna need to be on at least three or four seizure medications, and he's probably never gonna get better, but the medications will help with the seizures. Well, we had been given him, he's been on medication, and he was still having seizures while on the medication. And I remember I remember sitting there, and I was so mad at myself. Because one, financially, that was just not something that we could do. The one medication alone that they wanted us to put him on was 300 a month. That was just for what? That wasn't including the neuro the neurologist. And that wasn't including the other three medications they wanted to put up to put him on.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

And I was sitting there and I was just looking at him. And Achilles was such a chill dog, man.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

And as I was looking at him, I was just playing back his life in my head. And I remember when we had first got him, him and Kratos. They were brothers. Well, come to find out you're not supposed to get two males from the same litter, but we didn't know that at the time. Anyways, we had gotten him and his brother at the same time. And dude, they used to play all the time. Nonstop. Just playing 24-7. And then the first time he had his seizures, it was like something changed in him. He no longer played.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

He would just sit there all day. And then we got Hella.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

And then Kratos and Hella would team up on Achilles. And eventually he just stopped playing, period. And it was it was kind of depressing just watching his entire life go from a happy dog to a dog that no longer wanted to do anything. And with the seizures, man, he would just he would have his seizures and his post-seizures, he would just be a completely different dog. And like I just felt like I felt bad for him. And in my head, I'm like, man, he's freaking suffering. And out of our own emotional attachment to him, we're keeping him alive. And he's literally just suffering. Like, bro, when I tell you his seizures were bad, sometimes you have four, three, four, five seizures a day. I was like, we're just keeping him alive for the sake of our own feelings at this point. And so I was just looking at him, I was like, I was like, I can't.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

I don't want him to have to live a life where he's not enjoying his life.

SPEAKER_01 25:11

And I remember her because Achilles was hers. And she was a wreck.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

And I was trying to keep it together.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

For the sake of her. But man, I was fighting. I was holding my tears back. Because I knew the decision that I was about to have to make.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Because I knew there was no way in hell she was gonna be able to make it. Those words would never be able to come out of her mouth.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

She freaking loved that dog.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

And then I asked the vet, you know, I was like, what are our choices here? You know, she told us it's either this or we gotta pile them. And then she said, you know, we just inject him with the the solution, and it takes, you know, thirty seconds and then he'll be gone.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

And I was like, okay. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

And I remember the way she injected him and he knows sounds stupid.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

We would become financially stable enough to where something like this wouldn't happen again.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

But I couldn't even finish making the promise before he was gone. It was maybe five, and that just solidified to me that he was ready.

SPEAKER_00 28:45

I just I look back on all the times where he was going through a seizure and the pain he must have been felt with and for us just to be mad at him for having a seizure. You know, and I can't even tell him I'm sorry for how I treated him. That was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life. The life to choose to take the life of another creature another living, breathing creature.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

And that's funny, I don't even like killing both.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

I'll tell you the stupid story.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

When I was like five or six years old, my mom took me to the freaking Groger. And there was this freaking freaking dog, little dog cake. It was like the size of a freaking cupcake, but it was the shape of a dog, and the dog looked so happy, and I remember my mom got it for me. I couldn't even eat it. Like I didn't want to hurt it. It's the stupidest thing ever, man. And that's literally carried over into my life. And oh man, dude, the person I became, the person I became because of my anger, that that little boy of me, that little boy version of me would he would have been so sad.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

Sad they sucked, man. Anyways, Jesus. Now that we're not no longer being emotional.

Dating Apps And Healing First

Breaking Patterns Through Behavior Change

SPEAKER_01 31:50

Well, that's a hard decision that I'm talking about. That, you know, the woman shouldn't have to make that decision. So, you know, you pass that authority over to the man because you you respect him enough that he's gonna make the right decision and that he's gonna be strong enough to make the decision. So instead of seeing it as, you know, submitting and you're losing your independence and your autonomy and your free will, just see it as passing authority to someone you deem to be in charge. Now, and I understand why a lot of women don't want to do this. And I've talked to Stephanie explicitly about this, and she's told me that she doesn't want to fully rely on a guy because you never know what that guy, excuse me, might do. You know, and she brought up the example of her ex. Where, you know, everything was good in the beginning, and then he he changed into a completely different person, and ultimately, you know, he hit her and she caught the cops, and that was the end of that. And then he stalked her for a couple years. So, yeah, why would you want to hand over authority to somebody like that? And I understand, and I understand where y'all are coming from. But the the dice, the gamble you you make when you are dating around, when you shouldn't be dating around, and when you're swiping on these apps, and you're going on these dating websites, that's the gamble you're taking. When you don't take the time to hone in on your healing journey and get to a point to where you are intrinsically stable enough to make a rational decision about who you want to date. Because when you are when you're healing in your traumas, you break patterns, you break cycles. So now you no longer go for the same guys that were toxic. Now you're looking for guys that are emotionally intelligent. You know, guys that when you're on the first date with are talking about, you know, life's ambitions, talking about deep, meaningful conversations that are thought-provoking, not surface levels, like, oh, what's your favorite color? Or I like pizza. Okay. Or or you're you're no longer worried about, oh, I need to go to a uh a high-end fancy restaurant on the first date. You know, all this surface level validation-seeking behavior that gets you into these predicaments to begin with. Because just because I take you to somewhere fancy on the first date doesn't mean that I'm a good person. You know, a guy who wants to really get to know you is gonna take you somewhere more personable that doesn't have like a thousand different people going to this place or where it's real noisy, or where it can't really be a warm, intimate scene, warm, intimate environment, or a place where you can go, you know, and not feel nervous and a place where you can go and feel like you can be yourself and express yourself. You know, if you go to some high-end class restaurant, you're gonna have a lot of pressure to make sure your you know your etiquette is on point, make sure your outfit's on point, make sure everything's on point. And that's just another level of anxiety you have to add off into already first date anxiety. And there's no reason for that. I would much rather take you to a place where you're gonna be loosened up and just more will more willing to you know express yourself and be yourself, and we can have a more intimate conversation because there's not a thousand people around us. Like, if I were to take someone on a date, you know, I would want to go, you know, maybe to like a location near nature, just because it's peaceful. Like, I don't know if you've ever been to a restaurant on the beach, but oh my god, bro, that is just another level of tranquility that you cannot get in the city. There's nowhere you can go in the city where you're gonna get that level of tranquility. The wave just slowly splashing onto the shore, and with the sun slowly setting in the background with a nice cool breeze, it's not too hot, it's not too cold, and then you can just look out and you can literally just envision your life, and you're like, it's so peaceful, and you can't get that in a restaurant that's fancy, like who freaking cares, bro? And you're gonna that just tells me that you're high maintenance, and you think, and your worth is tied to how much money I can spend on you. Like, I value deep, intimate conversations that are far that go far deeper than just like I said, your favorite color or your favorite music, or what do you like to do? Yeah, that's cool and all, but like I want to know who you are as a person. You know, tell me about the things you've overcome to get to who you are today. That's what I want to know. And those those conversations don't happen at some freaking high-end fancy restaurant. And this is why when like chicks are like, oh, he wants to take me on a go on a on a hike or go on a coffee date. But yeah, that's what you should want. These are more intimate situations, more personable, more privacy. Now it's more like a one-on-one instead of a hundred on two or take you to the bar, like people that take you to the bar or take you places like this, bro. These aren't the guys that you want to be messing with. Like who who wrote the rules where the first date needs to be at a restaurant where you sit down and eat? I don't I don't know. Maybe that's just me. Maybe that's just me. What's up? But, anyways, back to what I was saying. When you actually heal, you'll be able to your intuition will be more in tune with what you really want in the direction you're headed, and you'll be able to sift out all the freaking bull crap. You don't only have your time going on these pointless dates because you'll be able to, you know, weed them out while you're you're you're texting with them. Because somebody who is emotionally intelligent and somebody who is actually serious about wanting to settle down will text and communicate completely different than somebody who isn't. Because you can always tell desperation. Desperation is like one of the most disgusting traits that a person can have. And you'll know it instantly just by having text. And that is what you would be able to look for when your intuition is more in tune with what you want out of somebody else. Because most of the time, most women are just swiping and dating. They have these qualities that the paper, and then they'll swipe on them, and then they'll meet them, and then they're freaking not the same person they are on paper. Or they'll get tricked because they're wearing a very nice snug mask, and they keep that mask on just to string you along because of what I've said multiple times. Maybe you're really good at one thing, or maybe you're good at a couple things, and they'll just be in a relationship with you while they get their needs filled outside the relationship from all these other women. So it really is an easy game to play when you realize that a man who doesn't invest 100% of his time into you and he has options or keeping his options open, then just break up. Like it really should be that simple because he's he's clearly not ready to settle down. Clearly not focused on you, and clearly hasn't done enough healing. I say this time and time and time again. A man who has healed, like I just said with the women, will break the cycle. They will break the patterns. Okay. If they aren't breaking them, they haven't healed, and they will continue the same behavior that they've been doing. When I got with Stephanie, I broke my patterns. I broke the cycle. I stopped talking to women, and then eventually I stopped watching porn. As soon as I found out she had a problem with it, and we talked it out, I stopped watching porn. It's been six years now, about to be seven. I broke the pattern, broke the cycle. Why? Because I didn't want to lose her. I don't have plan A's, I don't have plan Bs, I don't invest time into other women. I don't talk to other women like that. All the women I talk to are people from. That are her clients. So, like, we'll share stuff and they'll comment on my stuff. I'll comment on their stuff. Or they're our friends. So her and our friends. And people that I deal with when it comes to business. So like the bakery and uh the fitness coaching, so business related. But I don't go out of my way just to message random women on Instagram or TikTok. Or I don't go up to random women in real life and you know, flirt with them and try to get their number. And I let women know nowadays that I'm married when they're talking to me. So like these are things that I didn't used to do. Like I didn't, I didn't when I was married and my last marriage, I didn't tell women I was married. Because I was trying to get their number. I was trying to flirt with them on my roster. I don't do that anymore. Okay. So that's what I talk about when I'm talking about breaking the pattern, breaking the cycle. You know, because I did the healing journey so that trauma is no longer running rampant in my body. I have full control of my body. All of my decisions are rational ones. And like I said before, people don't understand what change actually means. And you're not actually changing, you're just no longer doing what you used to do. Like all that stuff is still a part of me. Like, you don't understand that right now, I could look up porn if I wanted to. I choose not to. I could talk to women right now if I wanted to, but I choose not to. But it's still a part of me, and it will always be a part of me. The change, though, that comes into play is the behavior, not who I am, the behavior. I changed my behavior, and that's what people don't understand. You're not changing who you are as a person, you're just changing your behavior. But you can't really change your behavior until you figure out who you are. In order to figure out who you are, guess what you have to do? You got it and go through a healing journey. Okay, and that's the same with women. So when women are consistently going through total relationships, you gotta come at it from okay, why are you continuing this cycle? Why aren't you breaking the cycle? Do you not see the pattern? You know, you get in the relationship, it goes bad, you rebound, get in another one, it goes bad, you take time off, get in another one, it goes bad, rebound, it goes bad, take time off, and you continue that. Do you not see that pattern? You have to break these things, you have to break these cycles. And the only way you can do that is if you sit with yourself and you start analyzing yourself, analyzing your past relationships, analyzing your traumas, and you start addressing them. And you cannot do it. Well, you can't. I don't want to say you can't. It's far more difficult to do it when you're in a relationship. This is why I say you need to take some time off and be alone and do this stuff because one, it'll teach you that it's okay to be alone. And that this imaginary timeline that you have set for yourself is made up by you. There's no rules to your life. If you're 28 and you don't have a kid yet, that's fine. Have a kid when you're ready. Literally, everybody around Stephanie and I are having kids. Okay. And people keep asking me, when y'all gonna have a kid, and I tell them the same thing. I say, I'm ready to have a kid whenever she feels like she's ready. And she already told me that she wants to have a kid when she feels like the business is in a better place. And I was like, okay, we're good to go. So I don't rush her. So have a kid when you're ready. If you're not married yet, okay, you haven't found the right one. There's no reason to rush it. You can get married at any age you want. So you see what I'm talking about when I say these rules that you have made up in your head are aren't they nowhere, there's they're written nowhere. You made them up. So why are you rushing your own life? Use that time to heal, and then you won't have to waste it on terrible relationships, and then when you get married, you only have to do it once. I'm I'm speaking from experience here, but we go through these things and they make us stronger, and then we no longer go through them again if we learn from them. But you have to learn from your trauma, heal your trauma, understand it, and then you can move past it. And then you don't, and then you don't apply it to your next relationship. But if you don't break the cycle, and you don't know, and if you don't know doesn't patterns, and if you don't heal, then you're gonna continuously apply it to your next relationship. And then that baggage is gonna get you're gonna fill up that baggage more and more and more and more. And the more baggage you fill up, the more baggage you bring into your next relationships, and the more so guy one doesn't have to deal with as much as guy six. Guy six, by that time, he's gonna think you're freaking crazy as hell, think you're toxic, because of how much trauma you haven't dealt with. Well yeah. I've been going.

SPEAKER_00 51:24

Forgive me.

Final Takeaway And Five Stars

SPEAKER_01 51:26

Um at the end of the day, I know I really got off topic there, but at the end of the day, being submissive is just think of it as you passing on the authority to a guy that you respect enough to make decisions that will benefit the relationship, and that he has both of your interests in mind, because like I talked about with Achilles, the decisions that you're not gonna be able to make as the woman, and you're gonna have to default to the guy anyways. So you might as well just put him in charge and let him decide, okay, I think this is a decision that I'm gonna make because of XYZ, and then he can delegate when decisions come up, like, oh, where do you think we should go for dinner or something like that? And like, oh, now he's delegating the decision in you, and if you don't want to make it, then ultimately he makes it. That's all that being submissive means. And like I said, you could only become submissive to a guy you respect. So if you don't respect your man, once again, that's intrinsic. You need to ask yourself why, and then you need to go down that route. But I don't have time to get into that, so we're gonna leave the episode right here. And if you like this episode, don't forget to like, comment, and leave that five star review. And until next time, see ya!