Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Compersion Isn’t Mandatory, EP. 158
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Do you ever feel like everyone else in polyamory got the compersion memo except you?
Like you're supposed to be thrilled when your partner is excited about someone else... and if you're not, maybe you're doing non-monogamy wrong?
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, we're talking about compersion, what it actually is, what it isn't, and why forcing yourself to feel it often creates more harm than healing.
Because here's the truth: You don't have to be ecstatic. You don't have to pretend you're okay when you're not. And neutrality is a huge win.
Inside this episode, we explore:
→ why compersion isn't mandatory
→ the pressure to be the "cool" polyamorous person
→ how comparison and scarcity keep us stuck
→ the social fairy tale training that taught us love equals exclusivity
→ why your partner's joy doesn't erase your value
→ how emotional safety creates space for genuine compersion
→ why forcing compersion is often self-abandonment wearing glitter [laugh]
Because real compersion doesn't grow from pressure. It grows from trust. From self-worth. From emotional security. From knowing that somebody else's happiness doesn't automatically threaten your place in their life.
If you've ever wondered why compersion feels hard, or felt like you were failing because you weren't happy enough for your partner, this episode is for you. 💜
💜 Learn more about Beyond Jealousy: www.elleciapaine.com/jealousy
If this episode helped you feel seen, please like, subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who needs to hear it.
Take what resonates and leave the rest. Your emotional journey gets to be uniquely yours. 💜
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Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237