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Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Episodes
150 episodes
Showing Up Alone to a Swingers Event Changed Everything - Ep. 150 with Kate Heskett
What if the thing you thought made you “too much”… was actually the doorway to deeper connection, more honest relationships, and a whole lot more pleasure?In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m joined by writer and p...
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Episode 150
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36:22
Metamours, Friendship, and the Myth of Instant Kitchen Table Polyamory, EP. 149
What are metamour relationships supposed to look like in non-monogamy? Do you have to be instant best friends… or even chosen family… with your partner’s partner?In this episode, relationship coach Ellecia Paine explores the...
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Episode 149
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14:21
NRE: Why New Relationship Energy Feels So Good (and Why You Should Slow Down) EP. 148
New Relationship Energy, or NRE, is one of the most talked-about dynamics in non-monogamy, and one of the most misunderstood.In this episode, relationship coach Ellecia Paine breaks down what NRE actually is, what’s happening in your bra...
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Episode 148
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20:47
Resentment Is a Boundary Problem (And It’s Not What You Think)
If you’ve been feeling resentful in your open relationship, this episode is for you.In Episode 147 of Nope, We’re Not Monogamous, I break down why resentment in non-monogamy is rarely about jealousy or bad communication.I...
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Episode 147
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25:58
Poly Agony: The Mistakes, Repair, and Reality of Raising Kids While Open with Candace Sogren
Non-monogamy isn’t just more love. It’s more feelings, more conversations, and sometimes… a lot more processing.In this episode, I’m sitting down with Candace Sogren, lawyer, former CEO, emotional intelligence facilitator, mom, and autho...
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Episode 146
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42:09
Needs vs Wants in Non-Monogamy: There’s No Prize for Needing Less EP.145
Struggling to tell the difference between needs vs wants in non-monogamy?If you’ve learned to be “low maintenance” and tolerate a lot, you might be minimizing your emotional needs without realizing it.In this episode, we explore h...
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Episode 145
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20:00
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The Real Glow-Up: Self-Love, Desire, and Ethical Non-Monogamy with Dr. Joy Berkheimer, EP. 144
Opening a relationship can feel empowering… and activating.A lot of people expect ethical non-monogamy or polyamory to feel freeing right away. Instead, it often brings up jealousy, comparison, attachment wounds, and questions about self...
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Episode 144
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40:48
Saying Yes to Non-Monogamy with Natalie Davis, EP. 143
What if non-monogamy wasn’t something you planned… but something you found your way into?In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m joined by Natalie Davis, editor of Polyamory Today and author o...
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Episode 143
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47:57
Jealousy Is Shame in Disguise (And That Changes Everything) Ep. 142
Jealousy isn’t a flaw. It’s not a failure.And it’s almost never about your partner.In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, Ellecia unpacks a powerful realization sparked by reading Financial Feminist:...
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Episode 142
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11:46
When Honesty Isn’t Enough: The Missing Piece of Emotional Safety in Open Relationships, EP. 141
We talk a lot about honesty in open relationships and non-monogamy.Tell the truth. Name the jealousy. Share your feelings.But what happens when you open up and your partner tries to fix it, explain it away, or tells you you shouldn’t...
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Episode 141
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12:11
Before You Open: The 5 Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Ready Yet, EP. 140
Opening a relationship can feel exciting and urgent, especially once the idea of non-monogamy is on the table. A lot of couples hear advice like “date separately” and assume that’s the next step they’re supposed to take.In this episode o...
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Episode 140
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14:31
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How to Talk to a Partner Who Insists on OPP, Forced Triads, or “We Only Date Together” EP. 139
What do you do when your partner says they are open to non monogamy, but only under very specific rules?Only dating women.Only forming a triad.Only dating together as a couple.In this episode of Nope! We’re Not M...
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Episode 139
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17:41
Dating Separately: The Secret to Actually Surviving Polyamory as a Couple, EP. 138
Dating separately is one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics in non-monogamy.For many couples, the idea of a partner dating someone without them involved brings up fear, jealousy, panic, and a deep sense of threat. S...
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Episode 138
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47:35
The Taboo Side of Non-Monogamy: Pleasure, Healing, and Desire with Sharon Marie Scott
What if the desires you’re most afraid to admit are actually the key to your freedom? What if the parts of you you’ve labeled as “too much,” “too weird,” or “too taboo” are the exact places your healing has been waiting for you to look?I...
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Episode 137
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1:00:21
The Relationship Skills That Actually Matter in Non-Monogamy with Dr. Dan Sneider Ep. 136
If you’ve ever wondered which relationship skills actually make non-monogamy easier, healthier, and less chaotic, this episode is your new favorite deep dive.Today I’m talking with couples therapist Dr. Dan Sneider, who works with both m...
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Episode 136
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47:16
You Can’t Logic Your Way Out of Jealousy (But You’ll Definitely Try) Ep. 135
Ever tried to think your way out of a feeling?You read the books, have the talks, highlight every chapter on jealousy and self-regulation… and your nervous system just shrugs and says, “That’s cute, I’m still panicking.”T...
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Episode 135
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21:27
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Rethinking “Success” in Polyamory with Jessica Morgenthaler Ep. 134
Ever been told that a relationship only “counts” if you stay in it forever?Yeah… hard pass.In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with therapist, coach, and relationship anarchist Jessica Morgenthale...
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Episode 134
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49:23
Pelvic Floors, Orgasms, and Why We Don’t Discriminate Against the Monogamous with Jana Danielson
What if the secret to better sex, stronger orgasms, and more confidence isn’t another relationship hack—but your pelvic floor?This week, I’m joined by Jana Danielson, sensual health and pelvic floor wellness expert, Pilates master...
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Episode 133
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38:42
The Truth Hurts - But Hiding It Hurts Worse, Ep. 132
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, relationship coach Ellecia Paine dives into the emotional cost of silence in open relationships and polyamory.If you’ve ever swallowed your truth to keep the peace, or stayed...
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Episode 132
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38:35
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Why You Can’t Just Talk Your Way Out of Jealousy in Polyamory (And What Actually Helps) Ep. 131
You’ve read the books. You’ve had the conversations. You’ve tried to journal your way into compersion.So why does your stomach still drop the moment your partner says they’re heading to someone else’s house?In this episode, I’m un...
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Episode 131
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33:11
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Rewriting Your Relationship Code: Ditching the Defaults for Real Freedom, Ep. 130
Are you stuck running relationship patterns you never consciously chose? In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m breaking down how to identify the default “rules” you inherited about love, sex, and partnership, and how to re...
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Episode 130
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17:15
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Relationship Anxiety in Polyamory: It’s Not Just You, Ep. 129
Are you polyamorous and anxious? Does your chest tighten every time your partner mentions a new crush? Are you constantly asking yourself, “Why am I feeling this way if I chose non-monogamy?” You’re not broken and you’re defin...
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Episode 129
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26:51
The Polyamory Trap of Finding Different Partners to Fill Different Needs, Ep. 128
Have you ever thought, “If my partner can’t meet all my needs, maybe another partner will”? In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I break down why that belief is one of the biggest traps in polyamory and open relati...
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Episode 128
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16:20
Polyamory’s Biggest Struggle Isn’t Jealousy — It’s Scheduling, EP. 127
Most people think the toughest part of polyamory is jealousy. But according to Richie, it’s actually… logistics. Yep, the calendar.After a life-changing cancer journey with his partner, Richie realized that the hardest part of opening th...
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Episode 127
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55:01
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Midlife, Menopause & Non-Monogamy: Reclaiming Pleasure, Power & Desire with Carla Wainwright EP. 126
What if midlife wasn’t the decline everyone warns you about, but a second spring?In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with Carla Wainwright, Holistic Wellness Coach, Sexual Awakening Facilita...
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Episode 126
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38:51
