How to Build a Business That Doesn’t Burn You Out (Even as a Mom CEO)

If your marketing feels heavier than it should… this conversation is for you.

In this episode, Ruthie sits down with feminist business coach Becky Mollenkamp to unpack why so many founders—especially moms—end up building businesses that look successful on the outside but feel exhausting behind the scenes.

They dive into the mental load of marketing, the pressure to “do it all,” and the reality that most business advice wasn’t designed for women balancing leadership and motherhood.

• You’ll hear honest insights on:
• Why traditional CEO models don’t work for mom founders
• How capitalism shapes unrealistic expectations in business
• The content hamster wheel—and how to step off
• What it actually looks like to build a sustainable marketing system

This episode is a permission slip to stop chasing perfection and start building a business that supports your real life.

Join the next Marketing Mixer, a virtual networking event for mom founders. 

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode, and follow along over on Instagram!
@ruthie.sterrett
@theconsistencycorner

Transcript

Ruthie Sterrett (00:01.289)

Welcome back to another episode of the Consistency Corner podcast, or if you're new here, welcome to the Consistency Corner podcast. For the first time, I'm Ruthie Starrett, a marketing strategist and founder of the Consistency Corner, where our goal is to help you lighten the mental load of marketing, because it's a lot. Don't let anybody tell you that it isn't. It is. But I'm really excited for our conversation today with Becky Mollenkamp, who is a feminist business coach who helps service-based entrepreneurs make the leap from doing it all.

as small business owners to actual CEOs without turning into the kind of CEO that they've spent their career rejecting and saying like, ew, I don't want to be that person. She's a former magazine editor turned ICC certified coach, host of the Feminist Founders Podcast, founder of the Feminist Podcasters Collective and writer behind the Feminist Rants newsletter. And today we're going to be talking about her new book, Liberate Your Business, which is a practical field guide for building profitable

businesses that don't run on burnout or extraction, which I am really, really excited to have a conversation about that. So Becky, thank you for being here. Tell us a little bit more about your book.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (01:13.052)

thanks for having me. I'm excited to chat. Yeah, the book just came out. It's called The Subtitle to Liberate Your Business, I think is important, too. It's a radical guide for entrepreneurs building inside a broken system because the system that we're all operating in is really broken. It's not built for most of us. Certainly, if you're a mom, the business world is not built for you.

If you're a woman, the business world's not built for you. If you're not white, the business world's not built for you, right? Basically, if you're not like a rich or fairly rich, educated, white, cis-hut man, this business world just wasn't built with you in mind. And it's often that we go into business for ourselves and end up replicating so much of that because it's all we know. And so this book is trying to help people say, how do I change that when it's really the only thing I've ever experienced?

especially if you've worked in corporate America, but honestly, if you've worked anywhere, you've probably been exposed to all the same sort of toxic capitalist harmful stuff that you then end up replicating yourself where you start going, why am I burned out? I never take a nap, I never take a break, I can't seem to get to my kids' school performance, all the things. And you think, I went into business so that I could have a flexible life. Why is it that this is not happening? And it's usually because we're just recreating what we've always known.

Ruthie Sterrett (02:31.093)

Yeah, I remember a year or so into my business journey thinking about like, okay, well, how does a CEO show up and what does a CEO do? And thinking back to then to my corporate career. And I was like, okay, yeah, but the CEO of that company had a wife at home who didn't work, who did all the things that I'm trying to also do while running a business. And that was for me, that like mental load really became such a huge light bulb. The mental load of motherhood.

the mental load of marketing, mental load of running a business, that it's all so much, right?

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (03:05.738)

Exactly. Yes. And that is the the not at all secret secret that is out there in so much of the online business and and self-employed business advice, entrepreneurial business advice that's out there. So much of it is just that same thing about not talking about those not secret realities like, I'm able to do this perfect morning routine because my wife is the one getting the kids off to school.

Or, you know, I'm able to follow this content churn where I'm putting stuff out constantly because, you know, I have the money to hire a giant staff of people that are actually creating most of that. you know, all of these things that we don't talk about and then then we in our brains start to translate is why am I failing? Why can't I seem to do it? Why can't I keep up? Why isn't this working for me? I was told this system would be the one system that would solve all my problems and it's not why. And so much of it is because

It isn't actually made for you. And then often we do the same thing for ourselves, right? And we're carrying so much weight and we are exhausted. And I think that is why so many businesses fail. They don't make it to five years. It's not because I sometimes it's just a bad idea or whatever, but very often it's not because it's a bad idea or even that that person is a bad business person. It is because they are not building businesses that actually work for their lives and they burn themselves out in a year.

Ruthie Sterrett (04:30.421)

Yeah.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (04:30.53)

because that's what is really easy to do that.

Ruthie Sterrett (04:33.079)

And I think now we're in a season where it's like, we'll just have AI help you. And yes, there's some help happening there, but it's not the whole answer because let me tell you, AI cannot fold the laundry that's been sitting on my bed for three weeks. AI cannot take care of that stack of dishes in my sink that I'm thinking about while I'm trying to do all of the things.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (04:49.154)

Only a matter of time.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (05:01.07)

And don't forget who built AI. I think it's really important that we remember AI was also built by white men, usually pretty educated, usually fairly wealthy, white men who it's the same guys who are telling you that you just need to get in the ice bath every morning and you're going to be a millionaire.

They're the ones who built these AI systems. And so don't be surprised when Claude or ChatGPT or whoever says, oh, have you thought about getting an ice bath in the morning? replicating so much of that same stuff. And yes, there are, again, any tool can be a helpful tool when we use it as a tool that is in support of a business and a life that we are constructing around our individualized needs.

Ruthie Sterrett (05:27.223)

you

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (05:43.81)

Right. And Claude can't intuitively do that because it's not built in that way. It is built to replicate the systems it's built inside of. So use it if you want. Right. Like I'm not here to judge that. But do know that it is not the panacea. It will not solve all your problems for sure.

Ruthie Sterrett (05:52.14)

Yeah.

Ruthie Sterrett (06:03.351)

Yeah, for sure. So let's talk a little bit about that whole idea of challenging capitalism while still existing inside of capitalism, because that's a tension that we all feel. Like I remember early on in my business journey, trying to think about the words like conscious capitalism and like, is that even a thing? And does that even exist? And like, okay, but it's all built on the patriarchy. So how do we even fix it? And it's like, you as one person obviously feels like there's no way I'm gonna change the whole system.

So how do I survive inside of it?

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (06:35.616)

Yeah. this is a tent. You're right. It is such a tension and it's one that I have felt for so long and why I wanted to write the book that I wrote, because I feel like so much of what's out there in the in the book business area, business book space is at these two extremes of either. Yeah, the system's broken. So just how do you get yours? Right. How do you just go ahead and amass all the wealth you can amass? Right. And that just doesn't sit with my value set. I don't want to.

win at Jeff Bezos's game. I don't like that game. I think it's a gross and wrong game. So that doesn't feel good. But the other options then were often at this other extreme of, well, then you have to be a part of completely dismantling it or you're failing. You're not a real activist. You're doing it all wrong. You're part of the problem, right? That other extreme where I'm like, that might feel good in my value set, but it made me feel bad about myself because I can't.

Like I can do the things I can do, but I can't dismantle the system by myself and I don't want to just constantly feel bad. And I don't want to feel that I have to choose between these two things. And I felt like there's just sort of this area in the middle of what I think is reality, which is I can't change the system alone. And in fact, it's not going to change in our lifetimes, which is a real bummer, but that's just the truth. It's going to take lifetimes for this to resolve. Right. So I can either throw up my hands and be like, forget it.

Ruthie Sterrett (07:44.513)

Okay.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (07:54.834)

Or I can say, and again, that doesn't feel good to me. So what can I do? Which is exactly the question in this book is what can you do? You can't do it all. And that's why the subtitle is, you know, fixing inside a broken system. You can't be perfect in an imperfect system. I don't expect you to. This book isn't going to judge you for not being able to be perfect for sometimes having to use AI. Yeah, might be harming the environment. But also, if you don't do that, then you don't get something done right. Like your business falls apart or

for having to, I don't know, in the evening when you don't want to because you just got to get the thing done because if you don't, you don't pay the bill because there's a deadline that has to be met. That's real, right? I think that the things that tell you you have to do it perfectly are operating in the same sort of mindset as the capitalists who say, bother, right? All of them are not honoring the reality we live in, which is the mortgage company does not care about how you feel.

The mortgage company doesn't care about your intentions. They want to be paid and you have to pay them. That's real. And I honor that that's real. And so sometimes that means we have to make an imperfect choice. We have to do something we didn't really want to do. We have to miss some sleep. And in an ideal world, I would be like, oh, you're going to be so well rested. But I also know the reality is sometimes that's not going to happen. But what can you do? Are there things that are within your control, within your agency, to start making small and subtle changes that after time you start to think,

the way this business used to feel like this weight on my shoulders is a little lighter. I can breathe a little more and maybe eventually it's even more free where you're like, my gosh, I have this flexibility that I once dreamed of. It's finally here. That doesn't happen overnight. It's about small incremental changes in living inside of a real world.

Ruthie Sterrett (09:38.677)

Yeah, and I think, you know, when we see like, we see the top of the staircase, like we see where we want to go. And so we're like, okay, but how am I ever going to get here? And it sounds like the book is really giving you the next right step, the next step, right?

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (09:51.692)

Yeah, I hope so. It's giving you all sorts of steps with the caveat. You can't do all the steps. And I know that and I can't do all the steps. None of us can. So it's here's the things we can do. Here's all the sort of tools in the tool belt. Which ones are you able to draw like grab for now?

Ruthie Sterrett (10:10.229)

Yeah, it's interesting what you said about that, the two extremes, you know, and I see that very much in the mom space of, are you gonna be the girl boss and really lean in Sheryl Sandberg, or are you gonna be the trad wife and soft girl life and I make all my snacks from scratch and like most of us wanna be somewhere in the middle. We wanna have a business that's successful and contributes to our families financially.

and we want to be able to go on the school field trip or we want to be at pick up. You know, I have said since I had a child that I don't want to be a stay at home mom who doesn't work. I like to work, right? But I don't want to work 75, 80 hours and then not have any brain space to think about my child's emotional well-being.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (11:01.548)

Yeah. And the truth could be even that some people would want to be a stay at home mom. That's not their economic reality, whether they're a single mom or their partner doesn't make enough or whatever. Right. That's exactly it. It's just that tension that I think so many of us feel that we're having to perform and show up in some way that these external expectations that we then take on and start to lose, it becomes murky where you no longer know what was actually what I wanted or what I thought I was.

Ruthie Sterrett (11:06.135)

Right.

Ruthie Sterrett (11:11.488)

Okay.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (11:29.218)

I was made to believe I wanted and it gets so fuzzy and you feel judged by yourself and by everyone else and nothing seems right. because the truth is, yeah, it's usually the reality for 99 % of us is right in the middle that we're not gonna be able to do it perfectly even if we wanted to, or for some of us, I don't wanna do it perfectly. But sometimes I'm gonna make a concession and like, there are people, there are also plenty of women who don't wanna be involved at all. Like they would actually prefer their husband's lives, right?

I would rather be the one who gets to not be the default parent who doesn't have to show up to the things that they don't call. And that may not be reality for them either. And we have to honor all of that. Like the goal is how do I get closer to whatever my desire is in a way that also honors where I am in reality? Because it is not easy to go from zero to a hundred overnight, but I might be to go from zero to one or even zero to 0.5.

Ruthie Sterrett (12:21.836)

Thank

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (12:24.098)

Can I do that and give myself the grace to say that's enough for today? And then if I did that enough, eventually, maybe I'll never be able to get to 100, but maybe I can get to 50. And 50 would feel so much better than zero, right? Like, I just don't think there's enough of that out there for us. And I think it leaves us all feeling really bad about ourselves.

Ruthie Sterrett (12:34.496)

Yeah.

Ruthie Sterrett (12:41.163)

Yeah, for sure. You know, I'm curious in the process of writing a book as somebody who's like, okay, I have a business. I have a family. Hey, let's just write a book too. Like, what did that look like for you in terms of the logistics and the process as a mom, as a business owner? How did that fit into your reality?

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (13:01.358)

Well, Ruthie, it's funny because I the only reason I could write this book was because I finally walked my talk and like rejected all of the things I thought I was supposed to do and how it should look and what I was, you know, how I was supposed to show up and do this. Because for the longest time, I really held this belief that I was going to write a book. needed to be like 80,000 words of long form narrative that told this journey from start to end or whatever. Like we see in a lot of books. And that's fine. I don't actually like to read those kinds of

of nonfiction books. I don't really like business books that presented that way, but I thought that's what I had to do. And that held me back forever. The idea of writing 80,000 words, and I'm a journalist, like my background is writing. And for me, 80,000 words was insurmountable. I was like, I'll never be able to do that. And I finally gave myself this permission because honestly, I had a friend who had a book come out that was much shorter. It was really small, little manifesto. And I saw the way she was approaching her book and I was like, I could do it that way.

where it's like, keep the ownership. I don't even worry about trying to find a traditional publisher. That for a long time was like, I gotta go through the querying and the pitching, and then it takes a year before they even accept. And then another year before the book comes out and like, I'm impatient. I don't wanna do all that. I was like, so I can own my IP. I don't have to give up control. I get to do this on my own timeline. I can write it in the way that feels good. So I ended up writing my book, drum roll please, in Canva. This is not something I recommend.

No person in their right mind would tell you write your entire book in Canva. But I have a 210 page Canva document that's literally my book from start to finish that I wrote inside of Canva. Because what worked for me was to design a layout for a chapter and then write in the space. So I wasn't writing any extra words. I wasn't writing stuff that was gonna get cut later that was gonna feel bad. I wasn't having to like figure out how much should I talk about here? I knew the format I wanted. I knew I wanted it to be scannable.

because that's how I read. I knew I wanted to be actionable, checklists and like things I can do. And once I gave myself that permission to say, it can look like that, it doesn't have to be what I thought it had to be. I can just do it in Canva because that feels good to write it right into the thing instead of writing it in Word and then figuring it all out and then pulling it in to a layout and having to cut half of it. Then suddenly it took very little time. I went from years of thinking to three months of writing because I gave myself all this permission to just say, I get to do it how.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (15:23.946)

I want how it feels good to me and all the other stuff gets to go away. So honestly, I started in like October, I was done writing the book in January. And then the last few months have been like all about getting the back end stuff set up. That's, that was really the worst part. And now telling people about it. I would have never thought that was possible when I was still caught up in it has to look this certain way.

Ruthie Sterrett (15:44.885)

Yeah, that's that's so nice that you were able to reframe it and say like it doesn't have to look that way. I can still do it. And then you did it like and then you said you thought about it for years. I'm curious once you finally like opened up that Canva document and started writing in it, were you thinking about in the back of your mind, what is the book's job in my business or was the book more about like I have this message and I want to get this message out there?

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (15:55.906)

years.

Ruthie Sterrett (16:13.225)

more on a personal mission type.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (16:16.216)

I had one goal and then a few like would be nice goals. But the one and only goal that I was like, if I reach this goal, then I have reached success is I wanna be a published author. I've done that, right? Like I did that. And that was the goal. Like, because I've always wanted to be a published author and it was so scary and hard, all these things, right? I was like, if I could just get this book and hold it in my hands and my kid can see that and...

Ruthie Sterrett (16:22.091)

Mm-hmm.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (16:40.332)

The most moving moment was when my kid brought me the copy I gave him, he's nine, and asked me to sign the author, the dedication page where I dedicated it to him. And then he told me he wanted to write a book. I was like, okay, like truly, everything from here on will be gravy because that was it. I just wanted to be able to prove to myself I could do it and to model for my child that you can set a big goal and do it. Done. Additionally, I had some goals around like it'd be nice to have some people read it because it would feel good to know that I did this thing and that it makes a difference.

And then the other piece inside of my business, I mean, there's that little bit of like, it'd be cool if it made some money. Like not a lot, because I know books don't make a lot of money. But it'd nice if I made at least my money back, because you you do spend money on getting things printed and all of that. And then the other piece, though, was I hope that it helps with opening doors, right? Like having people say, I want you on my podcast because I'm talking about this and I know you wrote a book about this. Or maybe media calling me and saying, we'd like to quote you or we'd like to have you on the stage because you talk about these things.

that's starting to happen too. So really honestly, like my goals have all been met and the book is coming out as we're recording this in two days. So like it feels like such a success, but that's also really again, part of what the book is about, which is changing the definition of success to one that makes me feel good, right? Instead of, because if I was still buying into what capitalism tells me is important for this book to be a success, it wouldn't even be out there because I would still be in the

Ruthie Sterrett (17:55.637)

Yeah. Yeah.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (18:05.038)

querying stage, I would still be trying to find a publisher, right? I don't need that to meet what I really wanted, truly what I wanted from this book. And I know people may be like, what's that? Do you really want that? I don't care about being a bestseller. That was never a thing for me. It just didn't matter. So I think getting really in touch with what you want is so important because that changes everything then about how you approach things. And that was part of that's what helps unlock it for me, too, is like.

I can say this is what I want it to look like in my business. I don't care what anyone else says it should do in my business. This is what I want and it's doing that.

Ruthie Sterrett (18:40.031)

Yeah, I love that. And it is a big project. And so to be able to say like, okay, I'm setting this goal. The goal is to finish it. The goal is to do the project. Like, you know, those of you who follow me know that I play golf, like have probably heard this story before. But last year, there was an interview with Scottie Scheffler, who's like best golfer in the world. He wins all the things. And they were asking him about like, winning all the things. And he's like, you win and you celebrate for like five minutes.

It's the going out every day and playing the game that actually matters. And that was the first time that I ever really liked it clicked of like, it's the journey, not the destination, but it is. so, but if we can define what makes the journey worth it, what is the project that we want to work on to say that we finished it, it changes the game. And to your point, like capitalism hasn't taught us to do that.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (19:33.566)

No, quite the opposite, because they can't have us do that. Right. Capitalism is about never ending growth. That's what it functions on. Stockholders are never had that. No stockholder in history said, cool. Yeah, we don't ever need to have the stock grow. Right. Love it. Let's keep it right where it is. No, they're in it because it's supposed to continue to grow and grow year after year. And if it doesn't, we consider that a failure. And that is that is exactly what capitalism is. It's unfettered growth. And we can't have that without.

harm happening somewhere in the chain to make that happen, right? It's extraction from others so that the growth can happen at the top. And that's what capitalism teaches all of us. We are, from our earliest days, are groomed to become good consumers and good creators. We learn how to be worker bees in school.

and everything else teaches us to want, right? Advertisements, all that, so that we are consumers. So we learn our place in that. We have to learn how to be really good worker bees, be productive, and then also to always want more, because then we're always gonna have the system churning, right? Of like, I gotta work more so that I can get more. I love that old George Carlin skit about like, I gotta get another room, a bigger house to have more of my stuff in, right? And then now I have a bigger place, so I gotta get more stuff, and now I need a bigger place.

That's exactly what it teaches us. It never teaches us to say, what's enough? What can be done?

Ruthie Sterrett (20:54.487)

You know, it's interesting that analogy with the filling the rooms with the stuff. I think about that from a content perspective too, because we've got social media and we've got fit 10 different platforms. And even within the platforms, we've got multiple surfaces. And then like, now we have Substack and now we've got 55 networking groups that we can be a part of. like, maybe I should start a podcast and what about on YouTube? And so it feels like we have to fill all of these containers and business owners who got into business.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (21:01.368)

Mm-hmm.

Ruthie Sterrett (21:23.841)

to do something that they love, to do something that they're passionate about, feel like they live on a content hamster wheel now.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (21:29.198)

You do, you do live on the hamster wheel. It's the hedonic treadmill is what it's the psychological term for it. And I talk about it in the book and that is exactly it. That's part of like this consumerism, this idea of never being happy of the finish line always moving. So you are on that hamster wheel. You're constantly going towards a finish line that will never appear because capitalism doesn't want there to be a finish line, right? It can't have there be a finish line. So you will always be on that treadmill until you finally say, you know what? This is my finish line.

This is my good enough. This is my enough again around content because we talk about that around money and that's a big part of it. But believe me, the same mentality shows up in every corner of our business and our lives. And I want to challenge people to to flip it on its head instead of saying just how much is enough money, how much is also enough rest, how much is enough joy, how much is enough time with people, how much is enough, you know, hobbies and activities and things that light me up. Those are the things that we never

think about getting enough, right? That we think there could never be enough. We won't ever get there because we have to pour so much of our time into this other thing. And yeah, mean, content is definitely a part of that. And guess what? It wasn't all that long ago in human history that people were able to have thriving businesses without social media. They were able to have thriving businesses.

website. Like, believe it or not, you can actually still have a thriving business without having to be in all the places all the time doing all the things. That's scary to people to think about, but it is actually quite true.

Ruthie Sterrett (23:01.429)

Yeah. Well, I think one of the reasons that it's scary is the decision of where do I have to be? It's like ordering at the Cheesecake Factory. Like this menu is gigantic. Like everything is going to be delicious. Like how do I know what to actually choose? And I'm curious, you know, you have multiple podcasts. You have the Substack. You wrote a book. So how did you choose where to show up? What to purchase off that content container menu?

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (23:05.194)

Mm-hmm. Exactly.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (23:13.9)

Mm-hmm.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (23:19.181)

Mm-hmm.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (23:29.654)

Yeah, well, you will see that the bulk of what I do is grounded in my journalism background, right? Storytelling, narrative, that sort of a thing in the form that I most like, which is usually writing, although I also like talking. So those are kind of my two places of showing up. I'm not a huge fan of video, so I don't do reels. I don't do TikTok. I don't do. I mean, my YouTube is literally just like.

podcast going up there. I don't put anything else up. I don't love doing video. So I lean into what actually lights me up and what I enjoy doing. And if I don't, then I don't. And that's kind of where I'm at now. I haven't always been there. I am also constantly unlearning and unpacking this stuff and trying to move, again, that incremental step towards closer to where I'd like to be. Would I eventually like to be off all the social media platforms?

Probably, at least from a business perspective, I would love to be able to just use them just for fun. I'm getting there, but I'm not willing to do it overnight either, right? But I am incrementally moving myself closer to saying, and at least examining, am I enjoying this platform? Because for the longest time, I was like, I have to be there if I don't enjoy it. And now I'm like, you know what? I've gotten rid of Instagram, I've gotten rid of Facebook, I've gotten rid of TikTok, all of those, because I wasn't enjoying creating content there. And in fact, I wasn't really enjoying being there.

even consuming content. So those I'm done with YouTube for the most part, I don't put anything other than just like my podcast stuff out, but I do continue to create new stuff because also I actually do really enjoy podcasting. I'm starting another podcast. Do I need a third podcast? No, but I'm starting it was actually really love it. Right. So I'm also saying, where am I giving myself the creative freedom because creative being creative and expressing ourselves as part of what makes us human.

And I, in this world that we're living in, I need those places and those reminders that I'm human. And so for me, that's what that looks like. For someone else, that might not be the way that they want to do that. But for me, that is part of it.

Ruthie Sterrett (25:32.213)

Yeah. And that's one of the reasons I know with our clients inside the corner office, when we map out a strategy, part of that process is what channels are you going to show up on? And the levers that we pull to make those decisions are how much bandwidth do you have? Where do you enjoy hanging out? And then where is your ideal audience? We are not starting with what does the market say you need to do? What does the business coach say you need to do? What does the Instagram guru say you need to do?

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (25:57.368)

Good. Yeah.

Ruthie Sterrett (26:02.336)

I mean, yes, what does the data say, but also what does your gut say? Because you're not ever going to be consistent with something you hate.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (26:09.922)

That's exactly it. Like Instagram for all and you know, if I were to like just look at every marketing person's analysis of what I should should be doing in my business, I would guarantee you probably eight out of 10 at least would say you really need to be on Instagram. That's where your ideal clients are. That's why I kept trying to show up there. I never got clients from Instagram and I don't blame Instagram. I blame me. I didn't enjoy it. So I know.

wasn't showing up in a way that ultimately was probably going to attract people. I was there because I thought I had to be there because I thought I should be. But I wasn't having fun with it. So I wasn't consistent. And when I was there, I was there was a lot of tension in it for me. That's not who somebody wants to hire. So it doesn't matter to me if they're there, if they're not going to be attracted to me because I'm not enjoying it because it doesn't feel good. I can't show up and do it. It's useless. Right. Threads, on the other hand, is probably not.

what most people would tell me is an ideal place for me to be. And yet it's where I have my largest following. I've made the most connections and it's because it's how I like to show up. I like to be playful and have fun and engage in small conversations. And I like to write things and not have to be like worried about, how do I look today before I can get this content out? I like to do things in real time. That platform works for that. So I love that that's the approach you take, because I think that's what matters. That's part of what it looks like to say.

How do I make those incremental steps towards what I really want my business to look like? And it starts with centering yourself first. We have to look at everyone else too, but you've got to, your business should feel good for you. Cause if it doesn't feel good for you, you are going to be part of the, what is it? 50 % of businesses that fail in the first five years? Yeah, because you're, you can't sustain something that is drudgery.

Ruthie Sterrett (27:38.711)

Yeah.

Ruthie Sterrett (27:55.223)

Yeah, and when you get to this phase where you're able to outsource and you're able to have somebody do it for you, I think you still have to live by those same principles because the content is representing you. You're still signing off on the content. You're still showing up and engaging potentially. It's never truly 100 % outsourced, even though I'm a done for you service provider and I say we can do it for you. I'm never going to recommend that you be somewhere that you don't want to be.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (28:23.98)

Yeah, I think that's fantastic. And I think that's how it should be. And I think often when we look at some of the folks who are having the kinds of businesses we'd want to run, not again, those omnipresent Amazons, but the kind of businesses that we'd actually want to run. Very often they're doing exactly that, right? They're leaning into a platform. That's where they show up most consistently. It's what feels good to them. And that's where they put their energy. They're not, a lot of those people are not being in all the places because they know they can't. And even if they could afford to hire it out, it's just exactly, it's not.

It's not them, it's not true. And I think I know for me anyway, I resonate most with businesses that I can tell this business is run by a human and this feels like how they show up in the world.

Ruthie Sterrett (29:04.565)

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, I have a couple of like rapid fire questions as we wrap up. And the first one I want to lean into is I know that the book is about liberating your business. So I'm curious about the inverse for a second. What's something in your business right now that you haven't been able to fully liberate yet? Something that you're still trying to figure out or tolerating?

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (29:11.01)

I love everyone.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (29:30.958)

For me, it's all system stuff. Because I'm neurodiverse, my brain works in ways that I'm still trying to figure out, especially as I'm perimenopausal and it's shifting rapidly with my hormones. And I just feel like I am dealing with a lot of tools that don't feel good. And I'm still working on it. This is a place where I'm using AI. I don't use a lot of AI, but I use AI most especially in things that help with my neurodiverse brain.

starting to make sense of the world and trying to like present information in a way that works for my brain. So slowly I'm getting there by building things myself, but trying to use tools that exist has for a long time been one of those places that continues to be, although I'm starting to get there, has been that problem because they weren't built for my brain. It's very clear. And so it's been really hard having to be like, can't.

Until AI, I haven't been able to function outside of the existing system on those the tools that are available. Now I can finally start to build something that works for my brain. So I'm in the process of getting there. But it's that is one of the aggravating places of like, I can't make I can't free myself completely from this.

Ruthie Sterrett (30:41.803)

Yeah, for sure, for sure. Next question is, what is the last book that you read that you would recommend?

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (30:48.43)

Oh my God, I read a lot of books and read. am a true believer that listening is reading. So I listen to a lot of books. Last year, I listened to 195 books. This year I'm on target for about 160. So I've slowed down a little this year. I read so many good books. The last one that I that I was like my last five star read this year was Kin. Nope, Kindred Kindred by Octavia Butler and Kin by KIN by Tyari Jones.

But Kindred in particular, which I had never read is, not these are not business books. But what I love about Octavia Butler is it does feel aligned with my business because she's a speculative fiction writer, sci fi, and her work is all about imagining different worlds. And that's part of what I feel like liberation is about is being able to imagine a different world. And so they've been really helpful in unlocking my brain in that way.

Ruthie Sterrett (31:36.363)

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. Well, the last question, because we are all about cheering on other mom founders is, is there another mom founder out there that you think like more people need to know about her that you would like to a shout out to? I know.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (31:49.39)

So many. Okay, well, I'm going to mention my business partner in my infamous founders. I have another business partner in another part of my business, but she doesn't have kids. So I will mention Faith Clark, who has adult children, but one of them who has special needs that requires her to be a caregiver. And she just models for me all the time what it looks like to liberate

your business and your life to prioritize your family. And it's been beautiful to see it modeled and for her to be there to encourage me even more on those times where I'm like, well, my kid's home sick today, but I could like, could make it work. And she'll be like, don't make it work. We don't need to meet. Like this is just a thing that we have on the calendar, but it doesn't mean that the world will fall apart. Go be with your kid. And it's just beautiful to be in space with somebody who is showing up that way. And for them to encourage you to.

go even harder on what you believe too and show up that way.

Ruthie Sterrett (32:50.133)

Yeah, well, you just gave me the perfect segue to wrap it up and invite everybody to our next space with other mom founders, which is the marketing mixer. We hold it quarterly. If you're listening to this live when it's released, the next one is May 21st. But you can always learn more at the consistency corner dot com slash mixer and come be in the room with other mom founders. We'll have a lot of conversations like this. And I promise there's no pitch slaps.

There's no awkward introductions. I put you in breakout rooms. I'm really good at facilitating a conversation if I do say so myself. So we want to invite everybody there. And then Becky, if somebody would like to learn more about your book, working with you, where do you hang out on the internet?

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (33:30.518)

Okay, well first, pitch slaps is fantastic. Thank you for that. I might steal that with, I'll try to remember and give credit. Also, it's so important for moms to be in rooms with other moms as business owners because we need those me too moments that otherwise we think, why am I the one who can't hack this? What's wrong with me? We need to hear from other moms like, no, that is hard. It's just so validating. Okay. And then where to find me? BeckyMollincamp.com. I hang out on threads a lot. You can also connect with me on LinkedIn if you prefer that platform. But if you go to BeckyMollincamp.

Ruthie Sterrett (33:32.574)

Hahaha!

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (34:00.056)

beckymollincamp.com. You'll find everything, including the book. And don't worry if you spell it wrong, I'm the only one, so Google finds me really easily.

Ruthie Sterrett (34:06.997)

that. I love that. Well, thank you so much for being here. I'm forward to reading the book and this was a really great conversation.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (34:09.358)

you.

Becky Mollenkamp (she/they) (34:13.144)

Thanks for having me.

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