SLCo Employee Wellness Wellcast
The SLCo Employee Wellness Wellcast is a fun, entertaining, and enlightening look at health and wellness. It breaks down complex health topics and interviews experts in the wellness field to help participants live healthier lives.
SLCo Employee Wellness Wellcast
Consent Culture: Building Respectful Relationships
Listener Advisory: This episode contains mature language and sensitive topics about sexual assault and consent which may be triggering for some listeners. It may not be suitable for all environments or children under 14. Please listen with caution and seek support with VEST EAP if needed.
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Creating spaces for open dialogue is key to understanding consent, and our conversation provides practical steps for initiating these critical discussions. From small everyday choices to utilizing community resources, we offer guidance on how to introduce the concept of consent without overwhelming individuals. Programs like the Peer Advocacy Council play a pivotal role in offering platforms for youth engagement, while upcoming workshops open doors for continued learning in the workplace. This episode serves as a call to action, urging every listener to participate actively in fostering a community grounded in respect and understanding and creating relationships that are built upon consent.
Hello everyone, this is Brittany Perry, one of your program coordinators for Salt Lake County Employee Wellness, and you're listening to the Employee Wellness Wellcast. This is a podcast that breaks down complex health topics and interviews experts in the wellness field to help participants live healthier lives. Today, I have two very special guests who are here to talk about consent culture. Two very special guests who are here to talk about consent culture. We have Laura, whom is an outreach advocate, and Senna James, who is the community engagement director for the Rape Recovery Center here in Salt Lake County. I would love the opportunity for our listeners, you guys, to get to know these wonderful individuals first. So, laura, if you're willing to share a little bit more about yourself and what you do at the center, and then Sana, if you are also willing to do that. That would be phenomenal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much for having us. So I'm Laura. I grew up in Southern California and I moved out to Utah for school, to attend university, and while I was at university I had some friends who experienced some sexual assaults and I started to learn about the services and the networks and kind of I don't want to call it like a field, but maybe the fields of sexual assault and crime victims in Salt Lake City, and I felt really touched by what I saw and the volunteers and employees I worked with who were so dedicated and so invested in helping people to recover and heal. So I started volunteering as a victim advocate and now I've switched and I'm a full-time outreach advocate. So I am out in the community engaging with people, recruiting volunteers and sharing about our message and our services so happy to have you here.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for sharing with us?
Speaker 3:Yes, and thank you for having us. I am Sana James, the Community Engagement Director at the Rape Recovery Center. I have about 10 years of experience now in the digital marketing space, with the last four years before I started in this role in the nonprofit space, so I'm excited to continue working in that nonprofit space and focus now is more community engagement team and going out and educating about the free resources we're able to provide the community, but also going in and teaching youth about different prevention tactics to reduce the amount of violence we have present in our community as well. And just something I wanted to share as well before we begin some of these topics that we're going to discuss today are pretty personal. They can definitely bring up a wide range of emotions and your wellbeing is always going to be our top priority. So just wanted to mention it's completely okay if you need to pause at any moment, take a step away or process in your own way. We are here to create a supportive and respectful space for everyone, while also bringing light to this important topic.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much the both of you for the work that you do, the work that you have been doing and the work that is planned for the future. This is such a phenomenal partnership and collaboration and, for the listeners that don't know already, or if you haven't joined the workshops at this point, we have these lovely individuals, the Rape Recovery Center, doing presentations every month and then every other month throughout this year 2025. So please make sure to tune in to those and listen to these wonderful and very important topics that we're bringing to the workplace here. So today's podcast we're going to be talking about consent culture and, specifically, that consent culture begins in the family. Now, before we dive into specifics with consent culture, we need to understand sexual violence, and I would like for us to define sexual violence, and that's including sexual assault, harassment, exploitation and things like that. Would one of you be willing to give us that definition but also provide a little bit of background on this topic?
Speaker 3:Yes, I'm happy to kind of give a little bit of an overview, but before I go into some of those definitions, I just want to mention that it's helpful to understand kind of all of what encompasses within sexual violence, because that really empowers both us and survivors of sexual violence to have, ideally, feel empowered in defining their experience in a way that best resonates with them. So, for sexual assault specifically, this refers to really any unwanted sexual contact of any kind, including things like touching, fondling, indecent exposure, whereas sexual harassment is more specific to behaviors. So any kind of deliberate or repeated behavior that is either sexual or gender-based in nature and unwelcome as well. Specifically is forced sexual intercourse. And then another definition we like to share is stalking. So that's any repeated behavior that would result in a person feeling fear and unsafe in the environment that they're in. So sometimes there's the assumption that only rape is what we provide support for, but there's really a lot that is encompassed in sexual violence. Laura, is there anything else that you would like to add?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean that's great. I think the only thing I would add is that when we use the term sexual exploitation, we're kind of referring to sexual assaults that happens within a specific kind of power dynamic, and so sexual exploitation is typically used to describe like with an adult and a child or like a similar power dynamic that's being abused. But I just want to echo what Senna said, that, although we're called the Rape Recovery Center, anyone who's been affected by any kind of sexual violence at any point in their life not just rape is welcome to come and participate in our services, and we know that, statistically speaking, that's a lot of people we in Utah. Unfortunately, sexual violence is very prevalent in our community, and so I just want to put that out there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Thank you so much for bringing that up that the prevalence in our community. There's a big number of individuals that have been affected by this and the behaviors of other individuals, and so I'm again really thankful that there's this resource out there. But I also love that you bring up that it's not just what maybe people think, that the name is the Rape Recovery Center, that it also expands to anybody that has found themselves in a situation dealing with sexual assault or whatever that may be. So thank you for clearing that up. Now I want to talk about why understanding consent is so important. What does consent look like and, ultimately, why is this such a vital piece in relationships?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm happy to get us started. So consent just is vital because it ensures that there's mutual respect present and each person has agency as well. So just to share a little bit about consent, we like to mention that it is a freely given and voluntary agreement to participate in any sort of activity that you're discussing engaging in. And coercion, specifically, is more so using things like manipulation, force or threats of any kind to really pressure somebody into doing something against their will. So someone may say yes to a circumstance technically, but if coercion is present, consent isn't actually present in that situation. So that's really why we like to distinguish between the difference and mention I guess, educate about coercion, because while someone may verbally be saying something that may seem like they're agreeing with an activity or agreeing to something they don't want to do, that threat may be the reason why there's a few key points in differentiating between consent and coercion.
Speaker 3:So it's really that voluntary nature. Consent is supposed to be actively and withdrawn as well at any time, whereas coercion involves more so that intimidation and it may undermine someone's ability to feel like they can't freely choose whether or not they want to participate. Communication is really key as well. So consent requires very clear and affirmative communication. Coercion usually ends up kind of more so relying on manipulation or implied pressure. And then, last but not least, something that Laura kind of mentioned previously, with that power dynamic, coercion can really exploit power imbalances between two people by using those threats or emotional manipulation to gain that compliance.
Speaker 1:I love that you mentioned that it doesn't coexist right, consent and coercion.
Speaker 1:Those are not two things that coexist at the same time right when there is one one is without the other right. So it's either consent or coercion, it's not, it doesn't waffle back and forth. So thank you for clarifying that. But one other thing before I want to dive into the importance of education and maybe how we can bring up consent as conversations and building that foundation of communication, like you had just mentioned is, I would love to address the prevalence of sexual violence. I know, laura, you had just barely touched on this, but if you can provide our listeners with just a bit more information, maybe if they aren't aware of the prevalence of sexual violence, bringing that up, I think, is a vital piece in wanting to learn more about this topic and then taking action right that maybe you didn't know about this before, but it makes you want to act to make sure that you are more aware and more educated on this in the future. So could you guys provide a little bit more of, maybe general statistics or information discussing that prevalence?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, I can do that. So, like I mentioned, sexual violence is very prevalent in Utah. Statistically, we know that about one in five women in Utah will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and about one in 15 Utah men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. And then, in addition, we have data that shows that one in two trans people will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. So it's really important us to note that sexual assault happens to people of all genders and all gender identities.
Speaker 2:Frequently, we use like she, her pronouns to talk about sexual assault victims because it is majority women, but that doesn't mean that it never happens to men, and men absolutely can be victimized. Unfortunately, we also know that rape is the only violent crime where Utah's average is actually higher than the national average, and Utah is in the top 10 of states in America for reported rapes, which is a horrifying statistic and really upsetting. But it also this is so prevalent and we have the opportunity to change that, and we have the opportunity to, once we understand the scale of the problem, to move forward and find solutions that are going to help eradicate violence in our communities.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for sharing that information and thank you for this now opens up the opportunity for us to gain education and empowerment and movement towards eradicating this. So thank you so much for sharing that. And I also want to mention, too, that sometimes I think folks maybe think that it only just impacts an individual right, the individual that this is happening to, but it's more than that right. This impacts individuals and families and communities and universities and your workplace right. This isn't just a one person impact. This impacts many. Again, I hope that our listeners are tuning in more and knowing that there's forward movement to be had when you know learning more about this, but also eradicating this problem. I want to jump into the importance of education right. That's why we're here and our listeners are no strangers to knowing that we feel very, very excited but also empowered with education through our program. So I want to talk about the importance of why early education on consent, respect and healthy relationships is essential. Would either of you want to touch on that?
Speaker 3:Yes, definitely so. We at the Rape Recovery Center we feel that teaching kids about consent and respect early on, if we can, really helps them build a foundation to have healthy relationships all throughout their life. So not just in terms of that intimate partner relationship, but with friends and family members and coworkers, really just anybody that you come across, really just anybody that you come across. So we teach them skill sets like how to set boundaries, understand others a little bit better, with a goal of preventing harm. So if we you know, we've heard the statistics, we know this issue is prevalent where we live. So if we can prevent harm before it shows up in the community, then ideally there's fewer people that are needing this support.
Speaker 1:What you touched on is we want to do it as early as possible, right Consent isn't just in, for instance, maybe a relationship with a spouse or a significant other, but it's friends and coworkers, and that it's never too early to start this conversation. Right Consent is in the form of healthy boundaries and freely given conversations, right, so this isn't something that has, like, okay, we have to wait to talk about this to then start this conversation and the answer is no, we don't need to wait. Right, the conversation looks different at different ages, right, and in different situations, but this isn't something that we say oh, we're not going to talk about this until you know whatever it may be.
Speaker 3:Yeah, definitely. And just to kind of build off of that, I feel like sometimes there's the assumption too that consent is only connected to intimate kind of activities. But it's really so much more than that. You know, consent also ties into, you know, just any sort of interaction, so shaking somebody's hand, giving somebody a hug that we don't. We can't immediately be aware of someone's boundaries without asking. So by just asking before we we engage in any sort of activity with another person, we can make sure we're not crossing a boundary.
Speaker 1:I love that, thank you for taking down. I think that that's a common myth, right that maybe I think people just often exactly what you said associate consent with intimacy, and yes, that is the case, but also it's not right. It's something so much bigger. So thank you for providing that education. I want to then ask you I have done a little bit of research on your guys' resources and I came across something called the Peer Advocacy Council, and just the information that's provided on the website is phenomenal, but I would love for you to provide more information about, maybe, the population. This is offered to what it actually is and going from there, so ground zero, what is the Peer Advocacy Council?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So the Peer Advocacy Council sometimes we also call it by its acronym PAC is a group for high school students where they can come together and meet. They meet about every two weeks or about twice a month, and it's designed to empower youth to lead by example. So they have discussions about promoting consent and boundaries in their communities, learning what that looks like in practice, learning about like rape culture and how to build a culture of consent in its place. And that's one of our strongest prevention efforts because, like we just discussed, it's really important to have these conversations early on and it's really important for it to be a peer-led conversation. We really value like elevating the voices of our youth and listening to what they have to say, making sure it's a discussion. And so our peer advocacy council is a way that we're working towards eliminating sexual violence in the youth population and, you know, adults, because youth always grow up and become adults.
Speaker 1:So true, yes, exactly that we do eventually grow up, right, and so I know that, at any point in our life, any education that's given is so vital because, yeah, we grow up and that education can be shared. I love that this is a large effort that you guys have and that this is led it's peer led right. Leading by example is something that you just said, and I think that that's so important, and I think it ties back to the title of our podcast, right, consent culture begins in the family, because this is where it's led by example, right, so you learn this education from here on out. This day, florida, after you listen to this well cast, you have the opportunity to lead by example by having these conversations and setting these boundaries, no matter in what type of relationship it is. Now, this is the role that you guys play.
Speaker 1:The peer advocacy council is something that you guys can host. I also want to talk about the role of parents and caregivers as well, because, again, we have families and maybe it's a caregiver of an older adult or a child, or you have a niece or a nephew or whomever. I think it's important to touch on the role of parents and caregivers and how we can support consent culture in those relationships. Any words of wisdom or any advice that you can share with us on that population?
Speaker 3:Yes, definitely so. It can be a very tricky topic to know how to approach. I know there's a lot of people that may just not feel equipped to have that conversation or have tools. So we just like to provide tools on our website as well to help maybe get that conversation started Our prevention workshops, which we can. Anybody can reach out through our website as well to schedule a prevention workshop. You can have us come out and kind of help start that conversation about the overview of consent, things like that. But it really is important for parents and caregivers to understand and have these conversations. As we kind of mentioned earlier or you know, earlier on in this conversation, the earlier you can have that, that's talk, the better. Just modeling and discussing just respect and boundaries and the importance of these will help kind of normalize that as kids are building their own relationships and will create ideally, this will create a safe environment for everybody that you're interacting with.
Speaker 1:And again it goes back to what we just talked about, that consent deals with all different types of relationships. So, if you feel like what was just mentioned, if you feel uncomfortable starting any sort of conversation regarding consent, start with the perspective of this is so much more than just with intimate relationships. Right, we definitely want to evolve the conversation into talking about when engaging in intimate actions that consent is given, because that is a very large part of this conversation. But the conversation doesn't have to start from there, right, it can start by you know, hey, when you have a friend, you know you don't need consent to give a hug or a handshake or whatever. That may be, right. So this conversation can morph and evolve as, again, age-appropriate deems, but I think it's really important to not shy away from having it right.
Speaker 1:I think that that is something I know growing up. I remember my mom. It was funny we would deem it like the talk Tuesday, right, I felt like almost every Tuesday we would talk about consent or consent culture or whatever that may be, but that I remember having a ton of friends that had parents or, you know, their caregivers or whatever they may be, that never had the opportunity or never did talk to their youth about it and I think that you know it can be nerve wracking as a parent or caregiver to talk or have open dialogue with some of our youth, but that it is important. Is there any advice or any encouragement that you can share with us on how to just have an open dialogue about consent? Where do they start, maybe, if they want to, or what if they're nervous? How do we have an open dialogue? We would love some encouragement from you gals about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that when it comes to creating a space and having an open dialogue, one of the most important first steps is to make sure that you, as the person leading the conversation, also feel comfortable setting boundaries and giving consent.
Speaker 2:I think it's um, we've talked about how leading by example and modeling behavior is so important, and so I guess I would say, on a foundational level, um, it's really important to take a moment to check in with yourself and say like, okay, how am I feeling about the boundaries in my life and my ability to set boundaries? Making sure that, um, you know you are, have the same practice and um skills that you are trying to teach someone else to have. I think that's absolutely the best foundation. I think, kind of building off of that, um, making sure that you also have created an environment where boundaries are acceptable and it's okay to say no, and there's a really delicate balance with that, especially if someone identifies as a caregiver or a parent, because you know no has a place. There's definitely times we have to tell children or other people you're taking care of no, for safety reasons, for practical reasons, for a myriad of reasons. But making sure that it's an environment where people just to give an example. So maybe I am not a mother, but I have a little sister who's much younger than me and in some ways we have a parent-'s dynamic in our relationship. And so something that was important to me is that I would always ask her like oh hey, like is it okay if, like, I give you a hug and like just having that, like verbal consent with her? And if she said like no, I don't want that which you know, when she was a toddler she loved to say no to hugs I would say like okay, cool, that's fine, and then we would just continue on with it.
Speaker 2:I think there's, unfortunately, a really common reaction to saying no, which is an understandable reaction, is to have an emotional reaction and modeling behavior where, oh, okay, you said no, that's fine, we're just going to keep moving on.
Speaker 2:That's really important in having an environment where you can start to have a dialogue about consent. So that's kind of what I would start with. And then I just think it's really important when you're having open dialogue about consent to I mean, we've talked about how consent isn't just about, like, intimacy and sexual activity but I think, when you are approaching it from that angle, to be comfortable using specific language and to be, um we call it the concept of like body literacy, to be able to name the parts of the body and feel comfortable naming those parts of the body. And again, that's something that you might have to check in with yourself and say, like, do I feel comfortable saying those words? Because a lot of people don't, and that's okay. But being comfortable, like naming parts of the body and discussing them is really important towards then being able to have a dialogue with someone about setting a boundary for specific body parts, or like teaching someone, um, like, yeah, it's okay for you to say like I don't want you to touch this part of my body.
Speaker 1:Yes, thank you. Um, I love so many different things that you have just mentioned. I especially love what you said about body literacy. Right, this is education. We're saying things as they are, and so that's really important.
Speaker 1:And one other thing is that you mentioned in the very beginning and then several times throughout, what you were talking about is checking in with yourself and seeing what you feel comfortable with, but also where you're at in this conversation, but also this education as well. Do you feel comfortable in setting boundaries or do you feel like when somebody says no, do you have an emotional reaction? You know, checking in with yourself and really seeing where you're at, I think is very important because, again, leading by example, if we aren't doing that, but then we're trying to teach somebody to follow different behaviors that can be very confusing, different behaviors that can be very confusing. I also want to get your guys' take on this, but if you, if perhaps somebody is listening to this and they're like this is really awesome, I feel like this is very foundational education, of which it is, you are correct, but I don't necessarily feel comfortable in being able to create open dialogue about consent, or I don't feel like I'm the person to be able to relay this information.
Speaker 1:Where could somebody go? Because, again, I don't feel like that's. That's good enough, right? If somebody says I don't feel comfortable in doing this, so I'm just not going to talk about consent, or I'm not going to. You know, follow up with whomever it may be about this conversation, I think it still needs to be had. Education still needs to be given. So do we? What do we do then? They're like I'm not the person to do it, but I would still really like education to be given. I know we talked about the peer advocacy council, which is phenomenal, but maybe a broader resource for those that aren't of high school age or just in general, yeah, that's a great question.
Speaker 3:So I feel like to have consent, really that conversation about consent. You really need to have a safe space. So it's important, I think, to create that space around you where you really feel like you are able to trust each other. But consent doesn't have to even be this huge big conversation that you know that you sit down and you're having this maybe difficult talk that you don't feel prepared for. It can start with even small actions, just things like you know. You can ask your child do you want me to put on your socks, or would you do you want to do it yourself? Or maybe giving them a choice, asking them would you prefer the crackers or the apples?
Speaker 3:So this just kind of slowly introduces the idea of consent, ideally in a way that's a little bit less consent, ideally in a way that's a little bit less over and gets them starting to ask those questions and understanding that, okay, they're asking this of me and encourage that they ask of you.
Speaker 3:So just kind of, like you mentioned before, demonstrating these things that you want your kids to learn as well, maybe just from simple acts, by letting your child know that you have a choice as well and giving them that choice. So I guess a few resources. We do have a ton of great resources that we're fortunate to be able to link out on our website. So having conversations sometimes can be difficult and we understand people sometimes are not ready to maybe involve another person in that conversation. So we have resources available on our website for both survivors and secondary survivors, who are those friends and family members of survivors, to maybe kind of get you started in having those conversations, reflecting on yourself and how maybe your body specifically responds to maybe either traumatic experiences or different ranges of emotions. I think the better that we understand ourselves, the better we can share and educate and pass on information to our young ones.
Speaker 2:So I was just going to say yes, absolutely, we have lots of resources on our website and since this is Salt Lake County, I just want to also give out a shout out to the Salt Lake County Library and the Salt Lake City Library system. I know both of those systems have a lot of books and they have divided by, like different age appropriate levels. So I would also say that if someone is not sure where to start, doesn't feel comfortable like being the one to initiate that conversation. Another suggestion is to reach out to your library, ask what do they have, what kind of materials, books, things that can be a guideline and you know will be age appropriate for the age of the person you're working with.
Speaker 3:Oh no, you're great, you're good. That was just, and I wanted to give another little plug for programs like our Peer Advocacy Council. Those are really great opportunities for youth of, you know, high school age to just come and kind of learn from others and have these conversations with kids their own age. I feel like it can sometimes help when they create their own scenarios to talk through, because things are always changing, especially, you know, with the pandemic and just it's hard to keep up with trends with kids in general. So it's just nice to let them maybe introduce these topics and give them an opportunity really to lead those conversations themselves.
Speaker 1:Great resources. First and foremost I love the point that you brought up, laura is with the library system is that there's that's another wealth of knowledge that you don't necessarily have to come up with the materials on your own right. You can reach out and see what's provided. You will be hearing from both of these wonderful individuals again throughout the year as well, with those workshops on specifically. One we are going to be touching on is consent, and then tons of different topics as well. With those, those workshops, we encourage you to ask questions and we'll have surveys out there that you can ask questions in there and get some answers to those questions. So be looking for that as well. I do want to provide an opportunity if there is anything else that you guys would like to touch on regarding consent culture and that starting in the family, before we sign off today.
Speaker 3:Just a few resources, maybe that I could share.
Speaker 1:Yes, please do.
Speaker 3:Yes, to give you a little bit of information about our center. We have a ton of services, even a presentation that we can come give you about all of our services at any time. But if you or anyone needs support, definitely feel free to give us a call anytime. We're open Monday through Friday, 9 am to 5 pm. And then there's also the National Sexual Assault Hotline. So they have both an English and a Spanish hotline that is available 24-7. Both in English and a Spanish hotline that is available 24-7.
Speaker 1:And then, last but not least, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, they can be reached at 988. Thank you so much for sharing those resources Again wealth of knowledge and information, as well as those resources. So please, please, visit their website and learn more about that and not only just consent again, because that is foundational. This is foundational, but there's so much more to be learned about this and, like what was mentioned earlier and what Laura had shared is, the prevalence in Utah is staggering, right. So this is your call to action to learn more about consent culture, understanding sexual violence and the role that you can play in eradicating these instances within our community, within your families, whatever it may be. This is a problem that all of us need to join in and try to get rid of.
Speaker 1:So thank you again so much, and thank you both for being on our Wellcast. We really appreciate hearing from you and you sharing your expertise with us. We look forward to hearing from you more throughout this year, or to just be introduced into this topic of consent, and that this sparks something internally that makes you want to learn more and to have that open conversation and to start looking at what consent looks like for you in your life and where you sit with this information. So again, thank you so much, laura and Senna, for being here today and for our listeners. Thank you so much for tuning into our Wellcast and we hope that you tune in to our next. Thanks, everyone.