The Beauty of Imperfection

In “The Beauty of Imperfection,” host Kat Garcia and guest Ashley Herndon-Dubra explore how embracing life’s messiness can lead to creativity and growth. Ashley shares her journey through major family transitions and how bullet journaling helps her find order, celebrate small wins, and accept that not everything has to be perfect. With honest conversation, practical tips, and a few cat cameos, this episode is a reminder that there’s beauty in the chaos—and in the pages of a well-loved journal. 

Transcript

0:02

​Greetings and salutations. Welcome to, sorry. That's my inside voice. I'm your host Ka Garcia, and in this episode you get to listen to me sit down with my friend Ashley, and we talk about her big life transition this summer. And bullet journaling, which I am very envious of. But Ashley, who makes gorgeous, gorgeous. Bullet journal layouts, and they just, they're so functional. She's going to be making me my very own bullet journal, and we kind of talk about that in the episode. So I hope you enjoy our chat. Uh, we had a lot of fun talking, and yes, there are cat cameos in this one, so prepare yourselves.

Kat Garcia 0:42

are you excited to record your first actual podcast episode, Ashley?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 0:45

Yes.

Kat Garcia 0:46

Okay.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 0:47

I'm Ashley. Uh, This is my first time ever doing anything like this, um, but that's okay. I am a mom, a wife, a school counselor. An avid bullet. Journaler. I help my friends with their bullet journaling needs. Um, want to be homesteader. I guess slash like MultiGen, new multigenerational home liver. My whole life has changed this summer and my summer ended up different than what I thought it was gonna be because Ash was working and Ash is my husband. We have the same name. For reference ash squared. Um, he was working instead of being home. And then my in-laws didn't get here until like a week and a half ago. And so I originally thought they were gonna be here at the end of June. So it just made everything different. Not bad,

Kat Garcia 1:45

just different.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 1:46

Just different. So, but it's been, it's been a good transition, but I was a lot busier this summer than I thought I was gonna be.

Kat Garcia 1:55

Yeah. What, so let's talk about transitions. What, what is the most, uh, unexpected transition that's happened this year or even the summer for smaller time period?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 2:12

I can't believe summer's already over. I'm sad.

Kat Garcia 2:15

I'm not, I'm not sad about the hot weather being over.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 2:18

Fair.

Kat Garcia 2:19

You also had a big 2025 has been a big year for a lot of people.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 2:23

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 2:24

In different ways.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 2:25

Um, I feel like I thought through most of the transitions. Honestly, the one that I didn't expect is the one at work. Um, so in my, there's four counselors, four school counselors in my high school that I work at, and one of them went from working at the high school to working at the alternative school. And, and the, I didn't anticipate initially when we were both vying for the job. What it would feel like when she took the job and I stayed.

Kat Garcia 3:06

Oh, yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 3:06

And how hard that was going to be. And how much I was gonna miss just her presence in the, in the, in our space. Um, 'cause she was like my work wife. Yeah. And she and I had very, like, very similar ways of working and very similar perspectives. And so just not having her there these last couple weeks. Has been difficult.

Kat Garcia 3:33

Yeah. It's 'cause it's, I feel like it's different when you know the change is gonna happen versus experiencing the results of the change.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 3:41

Yeah. It was a lot louder than I think I had prepared myself for.

Kat Garcia 3:47

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 3:49

I am usually better at preparing myself for those sorts of transitions.

Kat Garcia 3:53

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 3:54

Uh, 'cause I do know that they affect me. Um, but yeah, I dunno. It's weird.

4:07

Well, it's like you were saying, you know, you thought through all the different things that were happening this year, but that was just the one that you didn't see coming, and it's also not the only big transition this year or this summer. Uh, do you wanna talk about that a little bit?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 4:25

Um, so my, my in-laws moved in with us from Minnesota over the summer. And they have four children that they adopted, and they are between the ages of 13 and 18. And they're, they're the sweetest kids. They're amazing children. Um, and having them be there with my kids has been awesome,

Kat Garcia 4:50

How many of you are there in the house now?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 4:53

11.

Kat Garcia 4:54

11? Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 4:55

We have 11 right now. We'll have 13 eventually, but right now it's just 11.

Kat Garcia 5:02

Does it feel like there's 11 people?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 5:04

No.

Kat Garcia 5:04

That's awesome.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 5:05

It doesn't,

Kat Garcia 5:06

I mean, that's a big space.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 5:08

It is, is inside the house is a big space and there's lots of spaces for them to be, um, and outside is, there's so many areas for people to hang out. It might feel a little different when the weather gets cooler and more people are inside. But honestly, we have so many other spaces and they're so mild in Oregon, I don't think. I think it'll be very limited amount of time that we feel cramped.

5:37

Yeah, I mean, even when it gets quote unquote Oregon cold, like we could just put a heater outside on the back patio and everyone's just gonna be out there anyways, so it'll be cozy. Okay.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 5:48

Yeah

Kat Garcia 5:50

it's good though. It's a big transition.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 5:52

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 5:53

It was a, it was a big transition.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 5:55

It was,

Kat Garcia 5:56

but it's been a good one for you guys

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 5:58

so far.

Kat Garcia 5:58

Yay.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 5:59

There'll be growing pains.

Kat Garcia 6:01

Oh yeah. They're always are.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:01

There'll be, there'll be moments where I know I'll be like, oh my gosh.

Kat Garcia 6:06

Mm-hmm.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:06

This is hard.

Kat Garcia 6:07

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:08

But that's the way it goes no matter what.

Kat Garcia 6:10

Yeah. And and it already sounds like you're getting so much support

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:17

mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 6:17

That you didn't have before.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:18

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 6:19

Which is so cool. And it's just,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:21

it really is.

Kat Garcia 6:21

It's, it sounds like it's been really just organic.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:26

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 6:27

The way things have come, it's like, oh, well I'm gonna, I'm gonna take on this.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:30

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 6:30

Like you were talking about the laundry.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:31

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 6:31

Like, that's amazing. I love that for you guys.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:35

Yeah. And even with like school stuff where it's just like, oh, I'm good at this 'cause I work in schools and I know how this functions, so I'm gonna kind of take over the schooling for all seven kids rather than having, you know, mom having to figure it out and she doesn't know how it works and doesn't know who to call. And I know what questions to ask and Ash is, you know,

Kat Garcia 6:58

and the way to ask them.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 6:59

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 6:59

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 7:00

I mean, and it doesn't hurt that we're friends with the registrar at the high school, so that has made things even easier.

Kat Garcia 7:06

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 7:07

But there's lots of other pieces. Right. And so, um, I think once we get going in school too, it'll be like, I'll be able to add to the structure by saying, okay, every Wednesday night we're gonna sit down and we're gonna have grade check.

Kat Garcia 7:22

Yeah,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 7:22

for all the old, like older kids, middle school and high school kids all get grade check. Wednesday nights we're gonna go through and like you sit down with me and we're gonna look at your grades and you're missing assignments, make sure you're on track.

Kat Garcia 7:32

It's like, if you're having a hard time, let's figure it out.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 7:34

Yeah. We'll work together to figure out how to get you help and all that kind of stuff where like. Monica would be like, I don't even know how to like, download the app to check their grades. And I already have it on my phone.

Kat Garcia 7:45

Yeah. You're like, I got this. Well, it's, I love, I love the way that you guys get to support one another.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 7:52

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 7:54

That's been really cool to see and I'm so excited for you guys. So the other thing we were gonna talk about is bullet journaling, which you've been doing for a long time, it feels like now. Um, and like the things that we found that we like in journals, but. Like they never had all the things we wanted.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 8:22

Right. Yeah. And I, I really, I really love the flexibility of making my own, um, 'cause I can provide the structure that I need during the super busy times of the year, which are fairly predictable in my world based on like my kids' activities and. And my work schedule but it also gives me a chance every year to do something different, which I, I like doing different things. I like having things change. I get bored if things are too similar too many times, so I couldn't, that's, I think that's why I didn't like buying the same kind of planner. Yeah. Every year. Was because I was just like, well now I'm bored with this layout and I want something different. Yeah.

Kat Garcia 9:17

So, and now with this you can set it up. So every month is different.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 9:20

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 9:21

And it's been fun to see your creativity cha like grow and change with it too.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 9:27

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 9:28

Like I remember watching you work on it at your birthday weekend, and I'm just like, I could have just sat there and watched you work on your planner all day. I mean, I did do that. A couple times, but not like the whole day.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 9:43

Yeah. Well I didn't do it the whole day,

Kat Garcia 9:44

but then I had to go get in the pool.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 9:46

Yeah. It was such a chore, man.

Kat Garcia 9:48

So rough. So rough. What about the bullet journals helps your brain? Like does it help you like brain dump? Does it help you stay organized, like out of your head and in your head? I'm always interested to hear like why people find. The solution that works for them.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 10:13

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 10:14

Work for them. That's a terrible way to say that.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 10:17

It, I understand what you mean though. It, it helps me because I'm, yes. I'm able to get it out of my head and on paper so I don't have to like, sit and like ruminate on it. Right.

Kat Garcia 10:39

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 10:40

Um, especially if I'm like trying to work on something. I'm at work or whatever, I can be like, oh, I need to do this. I write it down to my planner. And then I can move on. Um, but it also gives me one place that everything is, and I think that's been the most helpful and I can get everything that I need to know and reference and, and look at in one. One spot.

Kat Garcia 11:09

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 11:10

So I don't have to look in a bunch of different places. Um, this year I've come to terms with the fact that I have a DHD

Kat Garcia 11:17

way to go.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 11:18

It's been a journey, but we here you

Kat Garcia 11:20

proud of you.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 11:20

Um, and I am apt to forget things and loose things if they aren't in front of my head. And so or in front of my face, and so I know. If I write it down on the planner, it's always gonna be here. And I, and I have it organized in a way that I know where I'm gonna put it and I can, it's either gonna be here or here and

Kat Garcia 11:41

Yeah. So like if something's happening, all of a sudden you're like, oh, I need remember to do this. You know where in your planner?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 11:46

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 11:46

You would put that information so later you're like, oh, what was that thing? Oh, I need to do this. But where was the time or the date? And you know where to go to find that.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 11:55

Yeah. And I cannot count how many times just in the last week. Right. We're prepping to go to back to school and we've got. Seven kids instead of three now. And so there's a lot of moving parts. And he was like, well, what time does this school start and need to drop off? And what time this? And I was like, I don't know, but I, it's in my planner. I don't have my planner with me right now, but it's in my planner. I don't remember. So I don't have to keep it in my head,

Kat Garcia 12:16

which so freeze up your brain space,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 12:17

up my brain space to do other things and to stay focused on other things rather than stressing about the stuff that like. I don't need to stress about 'cause it's not happening yet.

Kat Garcia 12:26

Yeah. You're like the salient details. They don't escape me. They go into the planner.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 12:30

Right. So, and then I get to do, keep track of the fun things too and the like entertaining pieces of life and um, and also, you know, like sketch and draw and during those, I don't know if any of you are teachers or in the world of education, we do professional development for the first. Three days of the school year when we come back and as someone who is not a teacher, they are almost never relevant to what I do with my job specifically. Um, and so I have drawings like actual sketching all over my, the first couple pages of September because I can't focus.

Kat Garcia 13:14

Well, yeah, it was, it was fun watching you like flip through because you've got pages where you've. Put in coloring sheets or you've left to like just doodle to your brain's content.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 13:23

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 13:24

And it's really cool.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 13:25

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 13:26

And when we were talking earlier, so, so Ashley is building me a planner.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 13:31

So excited.

Kat Garcia 13:31

She, she's so excited. I. Tried a digital planner. Some of you may have seen on the internet how I was like, give me your suggestions for digital plan. That lasted like not even a week. It might've lasted a weekend 'cause it got overwhelming and it didn't have all the things that I wanted that I didn't know I wanted or needed. And so Ashley, who is like the journaling, like planner extraordinaire, I text her and I was like, Hey. Um, Ellie says, I should get some stencils that you got. Uh, and then we started talking. She's like, do you, do you want me to make it for you? And I was like, okay. As I'm like crying, reading that message on my couch with a cat, like, because it's so overwhelming for my brain, it's like I look and I go, there are so many options.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 14:24

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 14:25

And. Then my brain just goes into just like overwhelm. It's like, well, I'm just gonna stop and not worry about that. But Ashley is gonna make me a planner. So today she was going through and asking me lots of questions, but it's so fun to like, see, we were talking about how this is how you see someone else's brain work.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 14:47

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 14:48

Which is really cool and what their priorities are.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 14:53

Right. And like how. Like it's so individual. Yeah, because you know, for Kat, we're talking about pages for knitting and pages for school and for podcasting and all of that stuff that like for me, isn't a part of my regular stuff. But for her are really important pieces that she wants to be able to have in her planner and then we can customize it. So I don't know, I'm, we'll see how it goes with doing yours, but maybe it's gonna be one of those things where I like open up, like

Kat Garcia 15:35

I vote yes.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 15:35

Custom planning for like planners, for people.

Kat Garcia 15:38

I vote yes.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 15:40

It's gonna be expensive 'cause it's gonna take some time.

Kat Garcia 15:42

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 15:43

But that's okay.

Kat Garcia 15:43

We'll, we'll get you there. It's gonna be good.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 15:45

We'll, we'll see. We'll see how it goes first. Yeah, that's gonna be my Guinea pig. And then we'll see how, how she likes it.

Kat Garcia 15:50

I love the Guinea pig. I'm, I'm a Guinea pig for multiple things right now, and I love it. I'm a Guinea pig for, for this, I'm a Guinea pig for my internship. 'cause where I'm doing my internship, they've never done interns before.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 16:02

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 16:03

So they're like, you're a Guinea pig. I'm like, I love being a Guinea pig. Let's go. You know, let's find what works well.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 16:09

And this whole process for me has been one big, like, well, we'll see if this works kind of a thing. So I'm like, well, what's one more. So, and I'm hoping now that I don't have to be the only one taking care of a house, that I will have more time to do things like that. In my free time,

Kat Garcia 16:26

you'll have free time.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 16:28

I know.

Kat Garcia 16:29

Does that feel weird?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 16:29

I don't have to like, sacrifice having a clean house to have free time.

Kat Garcia 16:33

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 16:34

It, it is, it's very strange. I feel like I should be doing more, but like everything is. Getting done. I mean, there's stuff, there's lots of things to do, but we all just moved in. So like, that's just the way that it is.

Kat Garcia 16:49

Well, and I think the fact that you all moved into a new house, so it wasn't, it wasn't like somebody was moving into somebody else's space that was already established, was really helpful for you guys all going through this transition. I.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 17:04

Yeah, it's been good.

Kat Garcia 17:06

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 17:07

But it does change my, the structure of my tasks and my daily priorities shift from. Trying to keep house cleaning and chores as a part of my regular like list of things that I had to do. And so it changed what my bullet journal this year looks like.

Kat Garcia 17:29

What are you noticing are like the biggest changes or the most significant I guess changes

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 17:36

for like with living with everybody.

Kat Garcia 17:39

Living with everybody. And then how that's like impacted your journal. 'cause I know you said that. I think you said at your birthday weekend, like you'll go back and look at last year's journal and see if there were, like, if there was something that you really liked, how you did it

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 17:51

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 17:51

Or whatever.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 17:53

Um, I haven't actually used my planner yet fully, so I did sort of last week.

Kat Garcia 18:02

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 18:02

That was the first week that I like actually had it in this book. Mm-hmm. But it wasn't in the month of September yet. My planner doesn't start until September because my world functions around the school calendar,

Kat Garcia 18:14

which makes sense.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 18:15

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 18:16

You've got seven children at home.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 18:19

Yes.

Kat Garcia 18:19

And you're a school counselor.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 18:20

And a school counselor, so like, yeah. My, my life. That makes sense. But even that, right? I, I was like, oh, I'm in the start at the beginning of September, and then I was like, no, I actually need to start it two weeks before.

Kat Garcia 18:32

Yeah,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 18:33

the last two weeks of August. That's when I go back to work.

Kat Garcia 18:35

Was this first year you've really done that?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 18:37

It's the first year I was organized enough to have it to start at the beginning of the summer.

Kat Garcia 18:44

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 18:44

And like fully plan it out.

Kat Garcia 18:46

Okay.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 18:47

I did have it planned out last summer, but then I ended up needing to get a new planner.

Kat Garcia 18:54

Oh yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 18:54

In like October. 'cause the one that I had like fell apart.

Kat Garcia 18:57

I remember that

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 18:58

because it wasn't spiral bound.

Kat Garcia 19:00

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 19:01

So I had to redo it, but. So this year I felt a lot more confident. I also know a little bit better of what I wanted it to look like.

Kat Garcia 19:14

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 19:15

So, but I think, I think there's still be there. There will still be pieces of this that I think I'm probably gonna be like, oh, I wish I hadn't done this page. 'cause this isn't functioning.

Kat Garcia 19:29

Mm-hmm.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 19:30

Um,

Kat Garcia 19:30

what do you do when you find that? Just use a different page or do you like cover that page with something else?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 19:38

I usually will try to repurpose it in a way. So, um, I use a lot of whiteout, so I'll probably. It's, it's not my favorite to like white out the whole page

Kat Garcia 19:57

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 19:57

Worth of stuff, but I will if I have to.

Kat Garcia 19:59

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 20:00

Um, but a lot of the pages, I, uh, the ones that I was not really sure how they would function, I draw the boxes and then I just leave it there.

Kat Garcia 20:10

Oh, okay. You just kinda live with it.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 20:11

I don't label it. I don't, I just kind of, especially when it gets to the later months. So up until Christmas time, I try to have that more or well, until New Year's actually. I try to have that all right now because it gets so busy in my world, typically between school and then my two of my girls do dance and the other one does theater and, and I don't know, the older kids may or may not do other activities as well. I don't know, but it just gets really crazy and so. The first four months of the school year, I like to have very, like all the details filled in and things done as much as possible. 'cause I know I won't have as much time to, to fill in the gaps. But then after winter break, uh, it's a lot more blank.

Kat Garcia 21:01

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 21:02

Not fully blank, but there's more boxes Without titles,

Kat Garcia 21:05

it's more open.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 21:06

It's more open. So I can. Go back and say, oh, this worked really well. I'm gonna keep doing this, or Oh, I'm gonna change this up. Um, and I always run the risk of not utilizing all the space.

Kat Garcia 21:22

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 21:23

But that's also okay.

Kat Garcia 21:27

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 21:27

I've like, that's one of the big things of doing bullet journaling that I've worked hard on accepting. One things don't have to look perfect.

Kat Garcia 21:37

Mm-hmm.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 21:38

And they don't have to be beautiful.

Kat Garcia 21:46

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 21:47

To be beautiful.

Kat Garcia 21:47

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 21:48

If that makes sense.

Kat Garcia 21:49

Beauty and imperfection.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 21:50

Yeah. And so I can make mistakes on it and I can either fix them or leave them and I can leave things blank and not use a page for a month. And it's okay. Okay. And it's doesn't mean that like I am wasting money or whatever. It just, it's like, oh, this didn't function for me this year, or I didn't need as many pages

Kat Garcia 22:12

yeah,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 22:13

this month because it maybe wasn't as crazy or it, I just had a, a handle on the situation a lot better. I don't know. Um. And I, I tend not to put work things in my planner as much.

Kat Garcia 22:27

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 22:27

But I also wonder if that might change as well, since I'm again not the only adult in the house managing the household stuff. So I may have more room, like physical room in my planner to do like, you know, like forecasting planning or, uh, like,

Kat Garcia 22:43

like I need to start working on this. Like, I'm not gonna say the G word right now 'cause it's. September. But like when graduation, when you get closer,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 22:54

I don't do anything for graduation.

Kat Garcia 22:56

Thank God.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 22:57

I just show up.

Kat Garcia 22:59

That's good. But like you start emotionally Yeah. You emotionally support your, your kids a little differently as it gets closer to graduation. So you like that's something you could put in there, like, oh, more tissues in my office.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 23:10

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 23:10

Or you know, whatever.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 23:11

Right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm pretty careful about like student names and stuff. Don't go in my planner.

Kat Garcia 23:18

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 23:18

Because this planner goes everywhere with me and I don't protect it. Like I would protect student information. So like, yeah.

Kat Garcia 23:24

Hipaa, ferpa. Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 23:26

Not hipaa, ferpa.

Kat Garcia 23:27

Well, yes. That's why I was like I said hipaa and then I'm like, not FERPA too.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 23:30

Ferpa. Ferpa. Uh, at least until I actually become a therapist. And then, then it'll be hipaa.

Kat Garcia 23:36

Yay. Um, your stint in medical records will. Do you, do you prep?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 23:44

Um, but yeah, it's, it definitely changes how I look at my planner and I'm sure will change how it functions as time goes on.

Kat Garcia 23:54

Um, how do you feel, or do you feel, I guess, that bullet journaling, how do you feel like that has impacted life for you?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 24:09

In a lot of ways it makes it more manageable. I think one of my biggest things that I, one of the reasons why I like bullet journaling as much as I do is I get to celebrate my wins.

Kat Garcia 24:26

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 24:26

In the way that makes sense for me. So like in every, I love lists, I love checking things off, but I also like, um. Easy games and easy wins.

Kat Garcia 24:42

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 24:43

So like, uh,

Kat Garcia 24:44

it doesn't always have to be like hard,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 24:46

right?

Kat Garcia 24:47

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 24:47

So one of the things that's, that I found really fun and rewarding in the last couple years of Bull I started at the very beginning was I do monthly, like bingo games where I focus on tasks and things that either, some of them are hard for me to do. Some of them are. Things that I know that I will do because of the time of the year, and I'll put work things and home things there. Um, and then I just like can check off when I've done the things on the Bingo card and I, and every month is different based on the season. So I'll do some like, um, like during the winter time, you know, things like. Bake something or go to a pumpkin patch or you know, stuff that's kind of like bucket list.

Kat Garcia 25:35

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 25:35

Winter things. Um, I'll put things like, you know, do a date with one of my kids or go on a, like a date with my husband or things like that that I know

Kat Garcia 25:44

or hang out with Cat and Ellie on a random Sunday, you know,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 25:47

that also is on there frequently. Um, so that there's things that like I know I'm doing to take care of myself. And also just by like crossing it off, I'm like, I accomplished something.

Kat Garcia 26:03

Gives you a nice little serotonin boost there.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 26:05

It does, and it's, but it's all like all for the good of the, my mental health and making sure that I remember that on the days that I feel like I can't do anything. Right.

Kat Garcia 26:19

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 26:20

That I'm still doing things right.

Kat Garcia 26:22

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 26:23

So that makes sense. Yeah. And it doesn't hurt too that I get. A lot of people are very impressed by my book journal.

Kat Garcia 26:33

Uh, yes. That would be me.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 26:35

Also, I may or may not have intentionally opened it and showed it off to all of the counselors in my department the other day, and I,

Kat Garcia 26:42

and you should, it's awesome.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 26:43

Very clearly told them, I am fishing for compliments. Look at how pretty this is.

Kat Garcia 26:48

And that's okay to do 'cause it is pretty, I love just looking through your planner.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 26:52

They also told me that they're like, it is impressive and it's okay. We will validate that. Yes. It's, it's amazing

Kat Garcia 26:59

and it's, it's one of those things that, for me, I'm like, Ooh, what have you done new? So I'll, I'll look through. I don't pay attention to any of thing that you write in there, but I'm like, look at it. It's like at, because why would you, it doesn't, it's like look at the pretty pictures.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 27:11

Well, and it's only for me.

Kat Garcia 27:12

Yeah,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 27:13

right. It's not for anyone else to look at Ash. And I have, like, on our phones, we both have Apple and so we have our Apple calendar that we track family stuff and events. So like I, that's what I use to communicate things to him.

Kat Garcia 27:26

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 27:26

That he needs to know

Kat Garcia 27:26

because he is not at all a planner person.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 27:29

No, not at all. And that's fine because it doesn't work for him.

Kat Garcia 27:32

Yep.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 27:33

But for him, he, that's how we make sure that we're on the same page with stuff for ourselves and for the kids and this, but this planner is just for me.

Kat Garcia 27:43

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 27:43

And, um, and so it, it's like, well, and my form of self care,

Kat Garcia 27:50

and it brings you joy to work on it. Like you, you told me that you got like giddy, happy when I said yes. If you would make me a journal.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 27:59

Yeah. 'cause I was sad because I was done doing like the basic outline of my planner. Now I don't have any like, I mean I have stuff to add to it, but it's like the detail pieces that I'll fill in along the way. Yeah. Um, and at this point, if that feels overwhelming. Yeah. Like filling in the second page of my weekly spread. 'cause one side is the days. And all of that stuff. And the other side is more unstructured, and so that feels overwhelming to me. So I'm just not gonna do it yet because

Kat Garcia 28:30

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 28:30

I'm not ready to,

Kat Garcia 28:31

yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 28:31

I don't know what I want it to look like. So

Kat Garcia 28:34

you're like, I can deal with that later.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 28:36

Yeah, that's a, that's a later Ashley problem, but not today, probably. I love that. So, yeah.

Kat Garcia 28:43

What pages do you find to be the most helpful for you, and what have you found to be the least helpful?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 28:51

Uh, least helpful is anything that talks about goals, specifically using the word goals.

Kat Garcia 28:58

Fucking goals, man.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 29:00

Um, I think it's because I've been in education for so long that the words goals make me feel like they have to like, be really structured. And this planner is not about structure. It is. That's actually, it is exactly, it is about structure. It's about the kind of structure that I need to function on a daily basis, and I don't need the structure of goals. It doesn't work for me because I have,

Kat Garcia 29:24

it makes me anxious

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 29:26

and I can't plan ahead that far.

Kat Garcia 29:29

My therapist latch

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 29:31

with my internal impulses. Yeah, it just doesn't work.

Kat Garcia 29:33

No, we laugh. Well we, I just tell her I'm not setting goals and then we laugh and she laughs and she's like. The first time she was like, oh, you're serious. I'm like, I don't set goals. I don't do resolutions.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 29:45

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 29:45

I have this year and absolutely I am aware that as I say this, it is in fact a goal, but I'm not using that word. That's a bad word. I'm like, I wanna learn to do this this year, or I want to, what's, what is one of the things I, oh, I want to play more games this year, more board games, and I have done that, but it's not like. Like that, measurable, like it's not

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 30:10

right.

Kat Garcia 30:10

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 30:11

And that's exactly it. So like I have things in my planner that ask me questions like, what are you going to focus on? I know that's a goal. I am, I'm aware that that is what that question is asking, but my brain can answer that question and not put the pressure on myself. Like the word goal would.

Kat Garcia 30:33

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 30:34

Because it's more fluid and it can be whatever I need it to be because I, I have that question every month at the beginning of every month, and it can be whatever I need it to be. So it can be something as simple as take it one day at a time.

Kat Garcia 30:49

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 30:50

It can be also as structured as I want it, as I'm going to go and do CrossFit one day a week for the entire month if that's what I need for that month to help me. Do what I want to do and what's good for my body and my mental health at that point in time.

Kat Garcia 31:09

Well, and I feel like it, it move like the success or failure Yes. Aspect when you're not using the word goal.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 31:17

Mm-hmm. Because it's, then it's not like, did I accomplish it? Yes or no? It's, did I focus on it? Yes. I may not have done it. Right. But I, instead of going zero times this month, I went twice.

Kat Garcia 31:30

Yeah. Like it doesn't, it doesn't, it's not tying, like I remember in school, like elementary school, like you had a a three by five card and you had to write goals down and tape it to your desk and then it just stared at you.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 31:43

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 31:43

For ever.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 31:45

Which, and I get that like again in education, I understand the value of that. I do that with my students. I don't often use the term goals with them either though. Because I understand the anxiety that that can provoke and typically the kids I'm working with are already struggling with a certain level of anxiety. Yeah. Or depression or both. Um, but you know, we talk about like where are we gonna focus, where's the, where are the priorities we use other words

Kat Garcia 32:11

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 32:12

That are still the same thing. They just help us reframe it in our heads to make it more accessible.

Kat Garcia 32:18

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 32:20

Um. And honestly, the ability to reframe things in a way that makes it more accessible has been

Kat Garcia 32:28

game changers.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 32:29

My, like bread and butter when it comes to working with students, even with my own kids. So I, my mother-in-law is, she's a, she's an an immigrant. She grew, grew up in a third world country. She, uh, has a very different way of communicating. Okay. And running a household than I do. So my children are having to function in a very different way now than they're used to, which is fantastic for them. And I'm very happy that that is going to happen for them. They, it's also with a lot of growing pains. Um, but when I was speaking with them the other day about the experience of working with their grandma every day while I was at work, I told them, your grandma and grandpa. Have a way of speaking that's different. And I looked at my middle schooler and I said, she speaks in all caps. And my middle schooler looked at me like I had just said, the most brain rotty, brain rot ever in the world. And then was like, how dare you use my text language against me? I was like, child, I want,

Kat Garcia 33:39

I could just, I could just picture her face for that too.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 33:41

It was, oh my God. And I was like, I. A genius. Yep. Yep. Because she got it. Yeah. She understood. And she needed the validation of being like, this is uncomfortable for me. And by just reframing it and saying, Hey, this is uncomfortable. Yeah. For you because it's different. Yeah. And here's kind of the context to look at it. She's not angry at you.

Kat Garcia 34:03

Mm-hmm.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 34:04

She just speaks in all caps. She doesn't yell. Yeah. But it feels like she's yelling. Yes. Yes, and, and it helped her and my 8-year-old also. They both were like, oh,

Kat Garcia 34:17

because it makes it make more sense.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 34:19

Yeah. We get that.

Kat Garcia 34:21

Like my brother, I will now describe him as speaking in all cap.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 34:26

Yes, he does. Not as consistently. Yeah. No, but yes.

Kat Garcia 34:31

But yes, he struggles sometimes with an inside. Voice. Yeah. Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 34:38

And we all, we all speak with all caps sometimes. Yes, it happens. Right? That's just human nature. It's why it's a thing on text. 'cause it happens.

Kat Garcia 34:45

Exactly.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 34:46

But even when she's calm, she sounds like she's mad.

Kat Garcia 34:53

Uh, I could definitely see how that would throw the girls off.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 34:56

Yes.

Kat Garcia 34:56

Oh my gosh. And just 'cause it's so much different than how you communicate.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 35:01

Yes.

Kat Garcia 35:02

Like. 180.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 35:03

And even how their dad communicates.

Kat Garcia 35:05

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 35:05

Because, and he sometimes talks like that, but not as often as they do.

Kat Garcia 35:09

I, I would imagine less since he hasn't, since they've been across the country.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 35:14

Mm-hmm.

Kat Garcia 35:15

And he's not with that all the time. Yeah. Like is, do you feel like it's louder, like his all cap speaking is louder when he's been back to visit?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 35:23

No, his Minnesota accents just stronger. That's the only thing that happens. But that happens anytime he talks to his brother on the phone.

Kat Garcia 35:31

Oh, that's funny.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 35:32

So he, but he, his Minnesota accent doesn't come back. When he talks to his parents, he just starts to talk like them. Yeah. Like a Caribbean accent. Just hilarious to me.

Kat Garcia 35:51

I love that.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 35:52

Oh my gosh, it's great. It's my, it's my, my husband's family's from Guyana, like, don't drink the Kool-Aid. Jim Jones. Jim Jones.

Kat Garcia 36:02

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 36:03

Uhhuh Guyana. Yeah. Uh, because that's how the context that most Americans know. Yeah. So my, my family, they're West Indian, so there's a lot of like, uh, like India Indian influence and, but a lot of Caribbean influence, uh, like Trinidad and Tobago sort of vibe.

Kat Garcia 36:25

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 36:26

Um, so it's very different. It's, but it's great. It's good for my kids. It's, it's good for, they learn a lot. They learn a lot from their older aunts. Well, they're older, their youngest aunts and uncles.

Kat Garcia 36:39

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 36:39

Um,

Kat Garcia 36:43

which is, but it's too, and I learn a lot too.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 36:44

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 36:45

And it's cool growing, being able to grow up in a multi-generational house and with other kids that you haven't spent every day of your life with.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 36:55

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Kat Garcia 36:57

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 36:58

And they're old enough that they like it.

Kat Garcia 37:02

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 37:03

Versus not like the youngest one. And my older two kids get along super well. They're like best friends. Um, and so that's been really fun for all of them. Yeah. To kind of have each other. But the older kids like to spend time with the younger kids. They don't. It's not like, does

Kat Garcia 37:21

that helps too?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 37:22

Yeah. It's not like they're mad. That they're in a house with a bunch of younger kids. They're actually like, 'cause it keeps them entertained and they're

Kat Garcia 37:30

That's that's fair. Free entertainment.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 37:32

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 37:32

'cause your kids are funny.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 37:34

They are funny.

Kat Garcia 37:35

They're so funny and so dry. Like jokes is very dry. Her humor.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 37:40

You're welcome.

Kat Garcia 37:41

I appreciate that. I've worked hard to instill some of the dryness into Hello Kitty. Oh, you wanted to say hi to the people? I am not giving you more wet food. It is not breakfast. I don't care what you say to me. Alright. It's like, I'll just climb in your lap and stare into your soul instead. Um, what are, what are some tips that you would give somebody who is starting to bullet journal or was thinking about it?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 38:14

Um, start simple. And be willing to change things up as needed. Um, like don't, I would not recommend doing in a whole year worth of a bullet journal to start like I did. Right. That was a workup to that.

Kat Garcia 38:40

You drove, you dove right in. You're like, I'm doing, I'm committing.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 38:43

I did three months to start.

Kat Garcia 38:45

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 38:45

And. And it was very simple. It was very basic and it didn't work very well, but I learned a lot. Yeah, and I, and I also learned what I liked and what I didn't like, and so I changed things. But, you know, do a chunk of time that feels manageable to you and include things that are important to you, but also like don't, don't feel like you have to go. From zero to a hundred.

Kat Garcia 39:17

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 39:18

Right. Like we were talking about doing like pulling tarot cards. Yeah. And how you're supposed to do one once a day, but that's not real life.

Kat Garcia 39:31

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 39:31

For me.

Kat Garcia 39:32

For me.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 39:33

And so we weren't gonna put space for you to pull a card every day, day. Because it probably wasn't gonna happen. But at the same time, like if that's something you already are doing in your life, include it. Yeah. But like for me right now, doing one every week is a challenge.

Kat Garcia 39:56

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 39:56

So I, that's another way that I establish goals is I put a tracker.

Kat Garcia 40:03

Yeah. Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 40:03

In a certain spot. And say, my goal is to, you know, like. Do a tarot poll every week. What it looks like, what it's gonna be, I don't know. It's pretty open-ended. Yeah. But here it is. Like I have daily trackers in there, but I don't have them labeled as anything because I'm like, well, I don't really know what I wanna focus on.

Kat Garcia 40:20

Yeah.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 40:21

Probably should figure that out since it starts tomorrow.

Kat Garcia 40:23

But I mean, you've got, you've still got, let's see, it's you, you've got some hours left, you've got like 10 hours, nine hours.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 40:30

And then again, if you don't use every inch of every page, that's okay. And if you don't use. Every box that you draw, if you don't use every sticker, if you don't answer every question, it's fine. Um, leave yourself open space. If you like to draw or you like to write or you like to journal, like it's okay to leave blank pages in between and for you to fill it in even after the fact.

Kat Garcia 40:58

Yeah,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 40:59

and if you miss a day of tracking, go back and fill it in. Who cares? Guess if you want. Yeah, I do that all the time, especially for my mood trackers. 'Cause I'm terrible about doing them every day. Yeah. And sometimes I leave blank spaces

Kat Garcia 41:13

and sometimes I, I try a mood tracker in like one of my planners a couple years ago and I'm like, I was happy. Oh, every single day this week. I'm like, you're such a goddamn liar. You were not.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 41:22

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 41:23

What are you talking about? You were an anxious pile of clothing.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 41:27

And being honest with yourself is helpful.

Kat Garcia 41:29

Right.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 41:30

I mean, but it's only as helpful as you make it. Yeah. Right. So if you don't want to track your mood because that's gonna be stressful for you or make you feel bad, don't do it. Yeah. I mean, I have never tracked my exercise habits right in my journal because I already am really hard on myself mm-hmm. About whether or not I'm working out or doing this or doing that. Um, this is the first time I've ever put. Any kind of tracking for my workouts and I did it super conservatively. Yeah. Like I tracked how many times per week I went Yeah. To the gym is what I'm gonna do this, and we'll just see what happens. Yeah. Because right now I go zero dates. Yeah. And that's probably not gonna change in the next few weeks.

Kat Garcia 42:19

Nope. Probably not.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 42:21

Hopefully it changes in the next few months, but that's a big focus for me this year. Yeah, with all the changes I've gone through is to get back to CrossFit. 'cause I love CrossFit. I'm not a hardcore CrossFitter, but I found joy in it, oddly enough.

Kat Garcia 42:35

I'm glad that you have found joy in it. I remember when you first started talking about it, I was like, you doing what now?

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 42:41

Yeah. Okay. Everyone thinks I'm crazy and I'm like, no, but it like, they're like, isn't that really hard? I'm like, I mean, yeah, but like. It's not like I'm competing with the guy who weight lifts 250 pounds.

Kat Garcia 42:52

Right. You're just, you're doing it with you for you.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 42:55

Yeah. Yeah. And you have me

Kat Garcia 42:57

over here going, I don't like sweating anymore. Oh. I don't know when that change happened, but now I'm like, I would rather not,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 43:06

and I'm trying to convince my. 17-year-old sister-in-law to come with me because I'm like, if she comes with me then I'll actually go. 'cause she'll be excited about it. 'cause she likes to work out. Yeah.

Kat Garcia 43:17

Accountability partners. Even just dragging them along for the ride can,

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 43:22

but it won't feel naggy. 'cause she'll be like, right. Can we go to CrossFit today? Yeah, she'll be, she'll be excited. Okay, fine. Me fine. We can go go. It's fine. Um, but that's a conversation I had yet to have with her mom, so we'll see. Yeah. We'll see. We'll see.

Kat Garcia 43:38

Would, would it be okay if we took some pictures or if you shared some pictures with me of some of your bullet journal? Maybe not this year if you don't want to, but like

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 43:45

No, we can share pictures of this one.

Kat Garcia 43:47

Cool.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 43:47

I'm actually really proud of this bullet journal.

Kat Garcia 43:48

It's so pretty.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 43:50

It's really, it looks really good.

Kat Garcia 43:52

It is so cool.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 43:53

Especially my September one. I'm like, eh.

Kat Garcia 43:55

Okay. So we will definitely share the September one, uh, if you're cool with that.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 43:59

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 44:00

So people can see. I think that'd be really fun.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 44:01

Yeah. And if, I don't know, is there a way for people to message you and ask questions?

Kat Garcia 44:05

Yeah. Yeah, people can definitely message and you can message on the Instagram, you can message on Facebook

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 44:10

or if anybody wants a custom bullet drink.

Kat Garcia 44:13

Yeah, if you want a custom bullet journal, this is, you heard it here first people. This is a, sorry. That's my inside voice exclusive announcement. If you want a bullet journal personalized for you, that will be beautiful and functional. Hand drawn. Hand drawn, it's great. Uh, Ashley is your human, uh, and I will hook you up. It'll be great for those of you who didn't hear a lot of cats in this episode. Uh, you may have heard Aylah uh, meowing at me, but she has been in and out Aylah Who doesn't like most people? Loves Ashley.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 44:47

Yeah.

Kat Garcia 44:48

Uh, she has been all up in her business.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 44:50

That's new.

Kat Garcia 44:51

Yeah, it's delightful.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 44:53

Yeah. I like it.

Kat Garcia 44:54

Yeah, it's nice.

Ashley Herndon-Dubra 44:55

I think it's because I have cats now, so I probably smell like cats. Yeah, that might be, that might. Alright. Well thank you for chatting, Ashley. Yeah, thanks for having me.

Kat Garcia 45:09

So with that, the cats and I are gonna go, uh, during editing. I've had an ala on my lap. I've had a Lucy next to me and Nala's doing her, you know, pretend like she doesn't want a snuggle thing. Um. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you have any questions about bullet journaling, um, you can send them on Instagram or Facebook. I'm at, sorry, that's my inside voice on Instagram and Facebook. Um, you can also go to the website, sorry, that's my inside voice.com and submit questions there. Um, if you haven't had a chance yet, please rate, review and subscribe. Not just to this podcast, but any podcast you listen to. Um, if you have the moment, go just, it takes like two seconds to go tap that five star type up like a really quick review. Oh my gosh. I love your cats. That would be amazing. I'll tell the cats they won't care, but I will. Um, but do that for any podcast you listen to. It makes everyone's day. Um, yeah. So hopefully you guys are having a lovely listening adventure and we'll talk to y'all soon. Bye.