The Elderly Are Not Old

In this heartfelt episode, host Kat Garcia sits down with longtime friend Yvette to explore the complex realities of grief, loss, and caregiving. Yvette shares her deeply personal journey of caring for her grandparents, the lessons learned, and the unique bond that forms through supporting loved ones in their final years. Together, Kat and Yvette discuss the challenges of honoring independence, navigating family dynamics, and finding meaning in both the joyful and difficult moments. With warmth, humor, and honesty, they reflect on the importance of open conversations about death, the enduring spirit of the elderly, and the unexpected ways grief can shape our lives. Listeners are invited to join this candid conversation about love, loss, and the wisdom that comes from caring for those we cherish.

Transcript

Kat 0:00

Greetings and salutations. Welcome to, sorry. That's my inside voice. I'm your host Kat Garcia, and in this episode I sit down with my friend Yvette Locke, and we talk about grief and loss and caregiving. Um, so if those are topics that are sensitive to you, please listen to your comfort level. If you need to skip this episode, absolutely do that. Um. Yvette and I have known each other since high school. And, um, we talk about her journey caregiving for her grandparents, um, and the, the lessons she's learned from that. The takeaways and just. Talking about grief and how sometimes it just punches you in the face. Um, we have a great chat. I'm excited for you guys to listen. You do get multiple cameos from ALA who decided to be super social, so I hope you guys enjoy the episode. Okay, well, let's get started. Um, do you wanna talk, you wanna introduce yourself to the invisible people who will be listening to your voice in their ears?

Yvette 1:15

Hello, invisible people. My name is Yvette.

Kat 1:21

It's so weird, right? You're like, what? What's happening

Yvette 1:24

as I talk into my chest, right?

Kat 1:27

Yeah, it's, yeah. No, it's weird. Um, do you wanna talk about how we met, how we know each other?

Yvette 1:33

We know each other from school. We do

Kat 1:35

high school, high

Yvette 1:36

school, uh, speech. Yes.

Kat 1:38

You were the first like speech person that I. Remember actually liking

Yvette 1:44

Oh,

Kat 1:44

in speech class, I was like, I like her because you were talking about sheep. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. You were talking about sheep. Mm-hmm.

Yvette 1:52

I probably was. I am a sheep. That's true.

Kat 1:59

The things that you don't forget,

Yvette 2:01

it's Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah. It's, uh, some things never change.

Kat 2:06

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. We've, we've basically stayed in touch over the years

Yvette 2:11

Yeah. On, for the most part. Uh, yeah. Like we were saying, it's one of those friendships. It's just easy.

Kat 2:18

Yeah.

Yvette 2:18

If there's some time apart.

Kat 2:20

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 2:21

It's like we never left.

Kat 2:24

Yeah. No, and we, we of course, as everybody our age or any age, does, we internet stalk each other.

Yvette 2:29

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Kat 2:30

Mm-hmm. Yvette goes on all sorts of adventures. She goes, how many state parks have you been to?

Yvette 2:36

What

Kat 2:36

you mean National parks? I'm sorry. Yes. National parks. See, see this is what I'm saying. My language is, it needs tweaking. So National parks,

Yvette 2:44

well see and then you could deep dive even more into that because there are over 463 units.

Kat 2:52

Oh.

Yvette 2:53

Of National parks. I could be wrong. Maybe it's 450 something.

Kat 2:57

I myself will not correct you, but if you are wrong, I will try not to hold it over your head.

Yvette 3:01

Yes. The, the Internets, who knows. Um, but there's over 450 some odd units.

Kat 3:08

Okay.

Yvette 3:08

But then like the main big national park, the big ones like Yosemite.

Kat 3:13

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 3:13

Glacier Crater Lake.

Kat 3:15

Right.

Yvette 3:15

There's currently 63.

Kat 3:18

Okay.

Yvette 3:19

So if we're talking about those specifically. Yeah. So let's

Kat 3:22

go with the 63.

Yvette 3:24

Um, 36.

Kat 3:27

Holy wow. I think that's awesome.

Yvette 3:30

Yeah.

Kat 3:30

And you've gotten to go to some that you have to have. You have to win a lottery to go to, is that right?

Yvette 3:36

Well, there's, uh, there was one I went to, uh, cat, my national park, which is in Alaska.

Kat 3:44

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 3:44

They have a lottery system for you to be able to stay the night.

Kat 3:49

Oh.

Yvette 3:49

Um, 'cause it's a very remote

Kat 3:51

Yeah.

Yvette 3:52

Truly lots of bears. Um,

Kat 3:55

yeah.

Yvette 3:55

Park. It's very well preserved and there are people that spend thousands beyond thousands of dollars just to fly in for a couple of hours. Oh wow. Walk the grounds and they leave.

Kat 4:06

Yeah.

Yvette 4:07

And there are opportunities to get to stay. So very remote, very preserved. Very well preserved and protected. Yeah. And so they only want so many people staying overnight. Right. Um, so they have this lottery system that they do every year and we happen to. Get it. That's so cool. And so, which was wonderful 'cause you're already spending money to go, right. Um, but then it'll include your

Kat 4:31

staying there and Yeah. There's a child. Yep. I'm gonna go close the kitchen window, but bloody murder, screaming child. It's not my child. It's not our child. We don't know where this child is. You have a

Yvette 4:41

witness. It's fine. Um, but yeah, so it's, I highly recommend it if you can go and, because you shouldn't go there unless you're gonna stay a couple of days.

Kat 4:56

Yeah.

Yvette 4:57

cause it's, it's best when you don't have all the planes flying in and lots of people and Oh, I

Kat 5:01

bet. Lot. Um, it's a lot. Do you have a favorite?

Yvette 5:05

Hmm.

Kat 5:07

I mean, I would imagine that's like asking people who your favorite child is, or, oh, everyone has a favorite child. That's fair. They, they just don't, and it's me. Um, you know, like someone asked if I had favorite yard and I'm. I, I can't choose.

Yvette 5:20

I honestly think, and it's probably cliche to say, but they're also different. Yeah. I'd say there are national parks that maybe I wouldn't necessarily go out my way to see again.

Kat 5:36

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 5:37

Like I, I went, it was an experience. Yeah. It's all right. Um, yeah. Or I don't understand why this is a national park. Like I've had those two. Oh, okay. Where like the gateway Arch. That's a fricking national park in St. Louis. Yeah. Like I'd understand if it's a monument Yeah. If it's one of the units. I don't understand why that's a national park. That one kind of like annoys me. Yeah. I mean, that's fair. So, you know, there's that. Yeah. But each one is unique. Yeah. And beautiful in its own way. And, uh, the Alaska ones are pretty cool. So, and Glacier in Montana has a special place in my heart. 'cause that's where my husband proposed and

Kat 6:24

Yeah, that's right. We've

Yvette 6:25

gone back several times and

Kat 6:27

that's really cool.

Yvette 6:28

His favorite is Yellowstone. Yeah. He'll say that all day long without,

Kat 6:31

without even hesitating. He loves Yellowstone.

Yvette 6:33

Absolutely loves it. So, yeah. But yeah, I love, I love the parks. I'm all about the parks. Can't wait for the parks to open back up. Yay. Let's pay our park rangers please. We would really like

Kat 6:47

to do that.

Yvette 6:47

Yeah. But that's a

Kat 6:49

different conversation. That's a, that's a different podcast. Mm-hmm. I don't think that'll be this one, but who knows? I go off the rails sometimes. Yeah. Um, oh, for those of you wondering, ALA has made an appearance. She was yelling a little while ago. She has decided that. Aw, she's so cute. Yeah. Her beautiful green eyes. Oh yes. I'm honestly surprised she doesn't look more shocked. Ala also often looks. Startled is just like her standard. Mm-hmm. Facial expression. Where are you at? Oh, you're over there. Okay. Are you smelling shoes? Yes. You are. Probably smells my dogs and my cat. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What are your animals' names? People always want to know when they're animals.

Yvette 7:35

Oh, uh, I have a cat. Her name is Libby. She's a hoot. She is eight. And then I have a blue healer Marshall, who's my blue demon baby. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And L Wood, who is my giant doof. He's my doofy boy. Yeah. And he's the sweetest boy in the world.

Kat 8:03

Aw.

Yvette 8:03

Marshall and Elwood are very good, ying and yang.

Kat 8:06

Oh, okay.

Yvette 8:07

Mm-hmm. And Libby is in charge of everybody.

Kat 8:10

That sounds about right. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yep. Uh, the ruler of our house is probably the one you won't see is Nala. She is, she's all the bonus beans. Oh. Mm-hmm. And she is the boss. Uh, this one thinks she's the boss. This one's

Yvette 8:25

lovey.

Kat 8:26

Yeah. Lovey dovey ala. Are you possessed by something? No. It's too early in the day. That's at 2:00 AM That's fair. Yeah. Thank goodness I'm a hard sleeper. Although she likes to lick my eyelids when she thinks I've been asleep for too long. Oh.

Yvette 8:41

Mm-hmm.

Kat 8:42

That's

Yvette 8:42

different.

Kat 8:43

I now have a sleeping mask that I wear

Yvette 8:46

to prevent this, you know, that if you were to die in your apartment, they'll eat me. It sounds like she definitely will. Oh, yeah. No, she's preparing. I

Kat 8:53

am. A hundred percent. I've already accepted that. Yeah. I'm like, Nope. If I die here, you'll just, you'll all find little bits eaten outta me. Assume it was ala.

Yvette 9:02

Yeah. Yeah.

Kat 9:02

I think that's fair.

Yvette 9:04

And you should see the look on her face right now. She's just like Uhhuh.

Kat 9:07

Mm-hmm. A hundred percent. You're so pretty. You've got a Lucy in the window keeping watch. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's pretty good. Are you showing off? You don't usually socialize this much. I

Yvette 9:20

say she like freaked out when I first

Kat 9:22

Oh yeah. She bolts, she's a bolter. Mm-hmm. But, but we are chatting today about grief and caregiving and Yeah. All of that fun stuff. So where did your, how did your caregiving journey, 'cause you were caring for your grandma. Yeah. How did that, how did that come about for you?

Yvette 9:48

Um, well I grew up having caregiving of some kind mm-hmm. Um, in life. So, uh, it's very, you know, it takes a village Yeah. In, in my family. Yeah. Um. My grandpa was sick and had been sick for quite a while. Mm-hmm. And my grandma was taking care of him and it was getting to a point where it was just a lot for her.

Kat 10:19

Yeah.

Yvette 10:20

So my husband and I had been living on the west side and, uh, we moved over, we moved back over to the east side and we're close by. And then that changed to like a year or two later. Um, how would you feel if we moved back on the farm? Mm-hmm.

Kat 10:42

Because

Yvette 10:42

there's two houses on the farm. Okay. How would you feel if we moved back on the farm and we could just kind of be there for you and help

Kat 10:49

Yeah.

Yvette 10:50

Uh, relieve you a little bit. Help with things around the property.

Kat 10:53

Yeah. And still have your own space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yvette 10:55

Um, and she was very receptive to that. And we moved in in September. My grandpa passed away the next month. Okay. And so that changed what originally the plan was about staying and helping. Right. And we talked to her and said, you know what? If we stayed anyway so that you weren't alone Yeah. On the property, um, you can go through your grief and what you need to do. Mm-hmm. But we're here for you.

Kat 11:33

Yeah. You don't have to grieve alone.

Yvette 11:35

And so we had originally planned on doing that for like roughly two years. So this was in 2016.

Kat 11:43

Okay.

Yvette 11:44

And she felt more comfortable that we were there. Yeah. So we decided to just stay for a little while longer.

Kat 11:53

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 11:54

And she was very independent and did her own thing. Yeah. She was fine. And then in 2020, in January of 2020, she had a mild heart attack and needed some help.

Kat 12:08

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 12:09

And thankfully we were there. Yeah. Able to call 9 1 1. We just happened to be there. And by the time she was to a point that she could start doing things on her own again, everything shut down. Yeah. 'cause it was in March, everything shut down. It was important. She was home and safe. Yeah. So, you know, I was doing her grocery shopping and taking her to appointments and, um, then by the time things were getting better as far as COVID with vaccines and feeling better about going out, understanding things a little bit better. Right. And, um, then she had a stroke. In September of 2021, and that's when she started really needing help. Yeah. Um, I mean, she was totally fine. You know, she was cognitive. Yeah. She had no issues whatsoever that way, but her body was starting to take more of a

Kat 13:17

toll. Mm-hmm.

Yvette 13:18

So I was doing more for her. I just kept shopping and Yeah. Taking her to appointments and, and it just slowly, little by little every year naturally progressed along. Yeah. Yeah. So we just stayed and took care of her until she passed. Yeah. Uh, just this August.

Kat 13:39

Yeah.

Yvette 13:40

Yeah. It's been

Kat 13:42

a journey. Definitely. Yeah. I don't think I'd realized that you guys had moved in before or moved on to the property before your grandpa had passed.

Yvette 13:51

Yeah. Yeah. So we, the plan was just to help and then, yeah, he. You know, we were there when he passed. We were able to be there for her and yeah. Um, yeah. It's been a journey. I mean, 2016. Yeah. That's nine years. Yeah. Wow. It's crazy to think about. Yeah. Pretty much a decade Yeah. Of our life, but I wouldn't change it.

Kat 14:19

What, what has been different about grieving your grandma versus grieving your grandpa? Because I know you and your grandpa were really close, so you and your grandpa were too.

Yvette 14:31

Yeah. But yeah. Um, my grandpa and I were very close. Um, it hit, it was very hard, like, uh, physically it took quite a toll on me. Yeah. Um, thankfully I happened to already be in therapy. Yay therapy. So yeah. Yay. Therapy. I suggest it for everybody. Um, so I was able to deal with a lot of stuff that way.

Kat 15:04

Yeah.

Yvette 15:05

Uh, but it was a very hard time. I also was with grandma and able to kind of share in the grief. Yeah. Yeah. Her grief obviously was way more different. Complex. Yeah. And different than, than mine because had,

Kat 15:25

had they been, they've been together for a very long time.

Yvette 15:27

Yeah. Since they were 17, 18. Wow. They got married when they were 19 and 20. Yeah. Um, they were married 62 years when he passed. Wow. Um, so there was, um, I mean, it's not that it wasn't hard. Yeah. But I wasn't the primary caregiver. So I could step away from it a little bit. Right. Grandma was the one who was very much in the thick of it. Um, so I could step away with grandma. I was there all the time. Right. In some ways it was kind of like you were a spouse, ma'am.

Kat 16:20

Yes. You, we were having a moment and then you start scratching at my rug. Well, that's where the sunspot is.

Yvette 16:28

Oh my gosh. She's so cute. Um, let me, uh, so with, um, with grandma, it's kind of like you ha you're a spouse.

Kat 16:41

Yeah.

Yvette 16:42

It's a much more intimate situation. You're in each other's lives every single day. Mm-hmm. For hours at a time. Um, I'm her confidant in ways that you aren't necessarily with just anyone.

Kat 16:59

Right. Um, because you see her, you were able to see her at her at her best and at her worst. Yeah. And everywhere in between. Yeah. And

Yvette 17:08

that's, she trusts you. Yeah. Um, to just be raw and honest where she usually would have something up and be okay with most.

Kat 17:24

Yeah.

Yvette 17:25

Um, so that's, that makes it a little deeper of a loss. Yeah. Not that grandpa wasn't important.

Kat 17:37

No, definitely. But it just, the components Yeah. Are, are a lot different.

Yvette 17:43

It is. It's, it's different. Um, she, uh. She had was so in my life by the time she passed, like, the way I was about my job, the way I was about friends trips. Yeah. You know, plan, just anything. It was your, your daily schedule. Yeah. It was completely around what she needed.

Kat 18:09

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 18:10

Uh, especially those the last couple years. Yeah. Um, so when she passed, one was a relief. Mm-hmm. Because she was ready.

Kat 18:27

Yeah. That's what you were saying. She, she knew

Yvette 18:30

she, she was ready. She was very tired and she wasn't happy to not have control of her body. Yeah. Um, especially because she was still okay mentally. Mm-hmm. Um, that just kind of made it harder. Yeah. 'cause there was so much she wished she could have done and she just physically couldn't.

Kat 18:53

That's how it was with, with my grandpa when he, when he, he had a stroke right before my brother graduated from high school. Mm-hmm. Like that, whatever that spring was. So oh eight. Um, and he had, he'd had after that, a couple other mm-hmm. Large, smaller, but then mini strokes also. Um, and cognitively he was, he was there. That was one of the most frustrating things for him is he would just sit there and we'd be talking and he's like, I just lose words. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know. And then, you know, as his body declined more and more, you can see the struggle. Mm-hmm. 'cause you're like, we know you're all in there. Yeah. You just can't get that out.

Yvette 19:41

Yeah. That, that was very hard for her. Um, she felt like she was in a prison. Mm-hmm. Like. She felt she was in a prison 'cause she couldn't really leave home. Or if she did it's 'cause I took her. Right. She couldn't just go out of the house. Right. Go for a walk, drive. Independence wasn't there anymore. Drive. Yeah. Which is very much who she was. Mm-hmm. And then on top of that, you're in a prison of your body. 'cause to get up to go into the kitchen was so tiring.

Kat 20:14

Yes.

Yvette 20:15

To get up to go to the bathroom or she couldn't just go out on the deck, you know? Right. If she did, it was a whole production.

Kat 20:27

Right.

Yvette 20:28

And I needed to be with her. Mm-hmm. And help her. Then she couldn't be out very long 'cause she was just so tired.

Kat 20:34

Yeah, yeah.

Yvette 20:35

You know, I'd, I'd put a chair out and say, please just sit. If she had too much of a burst of energy, she'd try to weed uhhuh or do little things. Yeah. But that took so much and I'd have to try to remind her that she had to have enough energy to get back in the house. Right. So that kind of stuff. And finding the, I never ever wanted to seem like I was telling her what to do.

Kat 21:09

Yeah.

Yvette 21:10

I always wanted to try to be respectful and treat her as an adult. Mm-hmm. And not have her think she's being treated like a child. Right. Which was one of the things that pissed her off the most. With other people.

Kat 21:26

Yeah.

Yvette 21:27

Was they would try to tell her what was best or they'd, they'd come and then they'd move something of hers.

Kat 21:34

Yeah.

Yvette 21:35

And Oh my gosh. Because

Kat 21:37

they thought it would be better. Yeah. For her over, yeah.

Yvette 21:39

They talked at her. Mm-hmm. Or that she wasn't there. Um, that bugged her. Yeah. A lot. A lot.

Kat 21:50

Yeah. Or talking, talking around her. Yeah. But not to her. Yeah. Yeah.

Yvette 21:53

Um, or whether you agree with it or not, she has told you no. Or she has told you to do this or she, it's her home. Yeah. It's her space. It's her life. You

Kat 22:06

still have to listen and respect that.

Yvette 22:08

Yeah. So that upset her a lot.

Kat 22:10

Yeah.

Yvette 22:11

Which is also extra energy she didn't really have. Right.

Kat 22:14

Yeah.

Yvette 22:14

So I tried really hard to, to do. That to just be respectful of whatever it was, I might roll my eyes in a corner mm-hmm. And think, well, this could be so much easier.

Kat 22:26

Yeah.

Yvette 22:26

But it's what she wanted.

Kat 22:28

And she probably knew that you were over in the corner rolling your eyes too and going Probably, well, I'm gonna do it my way. Yep,

Yvette 22:34

yep, yep. Yeah. And if you tried to push, my God, did it make it harder, so just, you know, just go with it. Mm-hmm. Um, but that was very, when, when she did pass, you kind of feel or I kind of felt lost. Yeah. And you know, it hasn't been that long. Mm-hmm. So I still to a degree have that, where now my days are truly my days. Right. Um, and that can be hard. Mm-hmm. Or you have time to yourself to do whatever you want. You almost feel guilty because the reason you have it right is because she's not here.

Kat 23:24

Yeah.

Yvette 23:25

Um, which I know she would appreciate and love. Yeah. Because she was definitely to a point with me where she'd say things like, um, you didn't sign up for it to be this long. I'm so sorry I'm taking so long. Which if you knew my grandmother, you know, and I'd be like, oh my gosh, that's not right. You're

Kat 23:52

like, that

Yvette 23:52

was

Kat 23:53

not in my head, but thank you. That's not how I

Yvette 23:55

thought about it at all. But she was very big on, you have a life, you should do things. Yeah. You are young. You're, you're stuck here. She'd worry about my job. She'd, you know? Yeah. I, I'd be like, you're being silly. Yeah. And it's fine. Everything's okay. Um, but. She recognized things that I think I was ignoring. Mm-hmm. But what else was I gonna do? Yeah. Like I was gonna be there for her and it was a choice that I made and I don't regret making that choice. And

Kat 24:28

you got, you were able to get so much time with her. Yeah. Like, yes, you were with her like all the time, but you got, I would imagine some really good moments that you might not have had the opportunity to get if you weren't there.

Yvette 24:42

One of the things that I think is really neat was after grandpa passed away, I had this unique opportunity to watch her become her own person. Mm-hmm. 'cause her whole life, up until that point, she'd always lived with someone.

Kat 25:04

Yeah.

Yvette 25:05

She was always taking care of someone. Mm-hmm. Or being a unit.

Kat 25:10

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 25:12

And it was this opportunity to see her. Yeah, there was some struggle going through it, but her becoming independent and a woman on her own terms. Yes. And how often does a grandkid

Kat 25:30

get to see that? Yeah.

Yvette 25:31

Get to see their grandparent as just a person. Mm-hmm. And their own person.

Kat 25:39

Yes. Not, not part of that unit, not part of a pair or, yeah.

Yvette 25:43

So that was a pretty unique opportunity to get to have and to see her, I think in some ways that when she was younger, she had hoped

Kat 25:59

for mm-hmm.

Yvette 26:00

Um, that independence. Think for yourself. Yeah. You know, and then I'm just there going go grandma.

Kat 26:07

Yeah.

Yvette 26:08

And it's nice. She had a few years before things got. Harder for her.

Kat 26:13

Yeah.

Yvette 26:13

That she could experience that a little bit

Kat 26:15

for sure.

Yvette 26:16

Um, but yeah, so that was, I'm very thankful for that time. And she's also a huge reason that I travel how I have mm-hmm. And hope to continue to do. 'cause I recall years ago she was laying in bed. She was tired 'cause she'd been taking care of grandpa.

Kat 26:41

Yeah.

Yvette 26:42

And she, I was debating on going on a trip and she just grabbed my hand and she said, don't be 82 years old laying in bed regretting the things you didn't do.

Kat 26:56

Yeah.

Yvette 26:57

You have the time. Wow. You don't have kids. Um, you can make more money. Just go. You have an opportunity. Just go. I love

Kat 27:09

that she was that. Advocate for you.

Yvette 27:12

Yeah. She's a very big reason. I, I can easily justify doing things. Yeah. And having fun. And she was probably, I, yeah. The first big trip I ever took in high school. I, I went to DC for the first time and she was a huge reason. I, I went. Yeah. You know, she was a really big, you know, it was one of those like fundraiser things. Yeah. Oh. So she was a big supporter that way. But I was also nervous. Like I had never Yeah. You know, and she's, yeah. Go, it's important. It'll be so much fun and mm-hmm. I think she enjoyed seeing the life of her grandchildren, what they did.

Kat 27:55

Yeah.

Yvette 27:55

Um, things that they did. She loved hearing those things and seeing us thrive. So

Kat 28:02

seeing the, seeing the things that you love and. That she got to be a part of that, you know? Mm-hmm. And she still gets to be a part of that now?

Yvette 28:11

Yeah. Yeah. She's Any traveling I do now, I'll probably always be thinking about her in some capacity. Yeah. Which, that is one of the harder things, 'cause I'd always show her pictures. Mm-hmm. Or I'd tell her a story. Right. Or she would always ask questions and they'd be questions I would never even have thought to ask.

Kat 28:37

Yeah.

Yvette 28:38

And I just look at her and go, I don't know. And she goes, well why didn't you ask

Kat 28:42

you, like, because you didn't give a list of questions before I left.

Yvette 28:45

I didn't even think that was a big deal. So she always, she's like, you always say I ask too many questions. No, that's not exactly, but she would say that a lot 'cause she did ask a bunch of random questions that I, I'm thinking I would never have thought. To a, what? An interesting question. Sorry. Let's look it up on our phone. She, do you have your phone with you? Yeah, we'll look it up. Okay.

Kat 29:18

Oh my gosh. That's amazing.

Yvette 29:20

She was a very curious person. She always wanted to learn new things and see new things and she was a very special lady, that's for sure.

Kat 29:32

Yeah.

Yvette 29:32

So

Kat 29:33

has, you know, we were talking about this earlier before we started recording, and how grief will whack you in the face in the weirdest moments. Grief is weird. Have you, have you had like random where you're like not even doing something grandma adjacent that your grief has just hit you really hard?

Yvette 29:55

Yeah, yeah. Um. I'm not a, I'm not a big crier. Mm-hmm. So I wouldn't say that it's been anything where all of a sudden I've just started to cry. Yeah. She was very close to her great-grandkids. She loved being a great-grandma. And the youngest one just had his birthday last month and I went into a store and it happened to be a kid's store. And I went into the store and I saw these hot wheel cars, which she'd always buy them for the boys. And I, I was just so sad all of a sudden. Yeah. Because that would've been the time of year I would've probably been buying some for her. Mm-hmm. To get ready to give to the boys. 'cause they would be coming over for a dinner to celebrate his birthday.

Kat 30:54

Yeah.

Yvette 30:56

And. I was sad I wasn't buying the toys for her. Yeah. I ended up buying the toys anyway. Yeah. To give them to the boys. Right. But it, that wasn't the plan, that wasn't the thought. Yeah. It just kind of came up and then when I did get to see them, there was a sadness of she doesn't get to watch them grow anymore.

Kat 31:21

Yeah.

Yvette 31:22

That like, that kind of thing. Right. My husband a couple weeks ago asked me if he should bring home some dinner and if I wanted some fried shrimp, and I just was like, Aw, grandma loved fried shrimp. Like

Kat 31:37

just Yeah. Yeah. It does. It creeps up on you and shows up in strange moments and Yeah. And ways and

Yvette 31:45

it's,

Kat 31:45

it's

Yvette 31:46

a very interesting

Kat 31:47

Hello?

Yvette 31:49

Um, grief is weird, man. Yeah. Grief is really. Weird. And it's a very different way than how it was with grandpa. Yeah. I also find my, I'm fortunate 'cause I'm still living in the home and so grandma's house is next door and I can go up there. Right. And for some people that might be hard to do 'cause she passed there. Mm-hmm. But for me, I, it's nice to go sit up there and just be quiet and just kind of be in a space that I always found safe and it's my home. Yeah. I grew up there. Yeah. You know, they always had lived there together and there's so much of both of them.

Kat 32:40

Yeah. In

Yvette 32:41

the

Kat 32:41

atmosphere.

Yvette 32:42

Yeah. There's so when I get a little antsy or I'm just having a moment, I can just go up there and Yeah. Now you need to have a healthy balance. Right. And thankfully my husband is wonderful and patient and has come up several different times over the past couple months and said, okay, it's time to come home.

Kat 33:08

Yeah. Yeah.

Yvette 33:10

And it's gotten easier not to be up there as often, like for as long

Kat 33:14

stop winding Y bet. Oh, I don't mind ALA's tracking something outside. I think it's air. Uh, but she keeps butting through the curtains. No, they're, I love the animals. I'll take all the animals. You're, you're getting like prime animal time too. I am. I love it.

Yvette 33:36

Yeah. I'm all about it. Thank God for animals. Yes. That's a Oof. That was also very hard. 'cause Marshall, my grandma thought that he was the biggest gentleman. I'm Marshall. Yeah, but you know what, with her, I love that. He was great. Yeah. He, he would come up. He knew he was so, since he was a puppy. Yeah. He was so good with her. She also gave him a million butter crackers. But he would come up and he just sit next to her. She could pet him, give him some treats. He give him, give him one little lick. He could just mellow with grandma. Oh. He's just the, he's just such a gentleman. Okay. So I had, I had brought him up with me 'cause it was regular. I'd bring him up with me when I would Yeah. Come say hi to her for the night and see if she needed anything. So the first time I brought him up after she had passed. Oh, that was hard. Oh. Because he bad went in and he just stopped in the doorway. Yeah. And looked around like, because it was different. Where is she? Yeah, yeah. Where is she? Yeah. And he went to her chair. Then he went down the hall to like look where the bathroom in her bedroom was and he just seemed lost. Yeah. And I almost lost it. Yeah. Because it was just so sad.

Kat 35:05

Yeah.

Yvette 35:06

Because he just knew something was different or that's how I perceived it.

Kat 35:09

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 35:10

And then I ended up going to her chair 'cause she had his butter crackers still there,

Kat 35:15

just waiting for him.

Yvette 35:16

And so I gave him a couple crackers.

Kat 35:18

Yeah.

Yvette 35:19

Which probably helps his grief.

Kat 35:21

Of course everyone needs grief snacks,

Yvette 35:24

but, um, that's, you know, she touched everybody.

Kat 35:30

Yeah. And, and animals know, I don't know that this one knows anything but animals know things.

Yvette 35:38

Yeah.

Kat 35:38

They, they definitely notice. Yeah. When, so I, I surrendered Lily, my orange kid, um, last week and, um. It's the best decision because she definitely needed more medical care and treatment that I could give her. Um, but later that day, Nala came, she came running out of my bedroom, stopped, stared at me, and she's like, yelling, where is she? Where is the cat? Oh, no. And she keeps staring at me, and then she just runs back into the ba the bedroom. And I'm like, she, she is not here. But they, they, they definitely know when things are, are different and yeah, they, they sense the things.

Yvette 36:31

Oh yeah. Animals are, they're magical.

Kat 36:34

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 36:35

They know.

Kat 36:35

They definitely know.

Yvette 36:36

And there's energies. Mm-hmm. My husband would roll his eyes if he hears me saying that. No, it's real though. But there are, like, we give off energies. Mm-hmm. And. Animals feel it. Babies feel it. Oh, babies definitely feel it. You know, I, I truly believe, like some babies, they, you know, they're more likely to get fussy if you're holding them. Mm-hmm. And you're in a bad spot.

Kat 37:01

Yeah, yeah.

Yvette 37:02

You know, I, I think they can feel that kind of stuff.

Kat 37:04

Definitely. Um, my great grandmama passed the night I was born. Oh, wow. And so I never got to meet her, but when I was little, my, my grandma would tell me all the weird ways that I was like, my great-grandma. And she's like, she knew you and she told, she taught you some things in that brief time where you guys overlapped. And I'm like, it's so crazy. But it's so, it's so real. Like the energy transfer and reception. So real.

Yvette 37:40

Yeah. That's insane. Yeah. That's really crazy. When, um. My grandpa passed away. I was with him. I was holding his hand when he passed and I was born on his birthday. Yes. And I always heard how he was the first one that got to hold me. And so for me it was this full circle moment. I'm like, I'm the last one that got to hold him.

Kat 38:09

Yeah.

Yvette 38:09

It's just a very

Kat 38:11

Yeah. Very cyclical.

Yvette 38:13

Yeah.

Kat 38:14

Yeah.

Yvette 38:15

Um, and I feel so fortunate mm-hmm. To have had that.

Kat 38:20

Yeah.

Yvette 38:21

And grandma too. I, I was there when she passed and what a beautiful thing that she trusted me enough

Kat 38:34

Yeah.

Yvette 38:35

To be there for her in that way. Yeah. That she had made it clear she didn't want others around. Mm-hmm. Um. She just wanted it to be me, which was a very kind to me.

Kat 38:53

Yeah.

Yvette 38:54

A kind thing. I understand. Not everyone can do that.

Kat 38:57

Yeah.

Yvette 38:57

Um, but I, I found it beautiful.

Kat 39:03

Well, it, it, you know, people talk about closure, but having the opportunity to have that closure where you're like, I was with you for, for all of this time we were together. Mm-hmm. And I get to be there with you when you leave, like

Yvette 39:21

mm-hmm.

Kat 39:23

That's pretty wonderful.

Yvette 39:24

She was so ready. Yeah. It makes it 10 times easier.

Kat 39:31

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 39:32

If she hadn't been ready, if she was scared. Yeah. I, I would've felt awful. Um, it would've been hard. She was so ready to go. Yeah. So ready to go. She was the one who made the choice to leave the hospital.

Kat 39:47

Yeah.

Yvette 39:47

She, I was just supporting her choice. She knew what it meant going home. She's the one who said the words, I just wanna go on hospice.

Kat 39:56

Yeah.

Yvette 39:58

I, I mean, how much more clear could that be?

Kat 40:01

Absolutely. Well, and, and the ability to see past your own wants and needs and your own, like impending grief to be like, this is what you want, this is what we're gonna do. Mm-hmm. I mean, that's, that's hard on its own because you're, she was ready. Mm-hmm. But doesn't mean we're ready to let them go.

Yvette 40:24

If I could have a TED Talk, I would try to tell other families, just be honest with what you want. Just make it so clear to family. What it is that you need or your priority is when you're in that state.

Kat 40:43

Yeah.

Yvette 40:44

Even if it's way before you're in that state.

Kat 40:47

Yeah.

Yvette 40:47

Because you never know when it's gonna happen. It's a little easier if you know it's coming.

Kat 40:53

Right.

Yvette 40:54

But just be honest, we're all gonna go through it.

Kat 41:00

Right. We don't talk about death and dying enough.

Yvette 41:03

Yeah. We're a society,

Kat 41:05

we're all gonna go through it. Society. Yeah. It's like we are not immortal. I don't care if cryogenics advance a bajillion percent, I'm gonna get put in the ground. We're turned into a treat. I mean, there are options. Yes. But you know, like talking about what the options are and what and what you want the choice to be

Yvette 41:23

and, and make sure that you're telling the person in the family that's going to respect the wishes.

Kat 41:31

Yes.

Yvette 41:32

Because there is a difference.

Kat 41:34

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 41:35

Um. Because you can say what you want all day long when you're dead. Yeah. They may or may not respect that.

Kat 41:41

Yeah.

Yvette 41:42

Um, but she, it made it so much easier. I just knew,

Kat 41:49

yeah.

Yvette 41:49

I just knew this is what she wanted. She had very, some very specific things written down, like for the funeral, which made that so much easier. Yes. I, I don't personally feel it's fair to let loved ones figure it out.

Kat 42:09

Yeah. Yeah.

Yvette 42:10

I don't, I think it's loving to make it clear Yeah. What your wishes are. If your wishes are, I really don't care. Okay. Then tell us you really don't care. At least you know, and you're not wondering. Yeah. Yeah. Just have the conversation.

Kat 42:30

Mm-hmm.

Yvette 42:30

And make it clear. Whatever it's has

Kat 42:33

has going through this with your grandpa and now your grandma, has that changed the way that you talk about what you want? Have you had some of those conversations or has it, has it changed the way you think about how you would have those conversations?

Yvette 42:51

I've always, I felt, been really open about

Kat 42:55

Yeah.

Yvette 42:56

All of that since I was young. Um, so I don't know that it's changed any of that. I, I think the most has changed is now that I am older. I know we're not old, but you know what I mean?

Kat 43:12

Yeah.

Yvette 43:13

We're starting to get to time Is fluid, does it

Kat 43:15

mean anything? No. We're,

Yvette 43:17

we're all getting to a point where we've either already lost our grandparents or we're going to be

Kat 43:26

Yeah.

Yvette 43:27

We potentially have lost aunts and uncles. It's possible we've lost a parent

Kat 43:34

if we get to this age and we haven't had experienced some kind of a loss. Yeah. That is the anomaly. Mm-hmm.

Yvette 43:42

I think. But we're definitely getting to a point where it's starting to happen more. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I have a couple of very close friends that have lost parents. Mm-hmm. Like we, it's just the reality. We're getting to that point. Um, so I think I recognize it more now

Kat 44:04

Yeah.

Yvette 44:05

Of listening to friends or acquaintances where nothing was planned.

Kat 44:14

Yeah.

Yvette 44:15

They didn't know what to do. They were kind of making it up and you're trying to get through it. But that also to me doesn't help. Grieving process.

Kat 44:29

Right. Because you have to come, you have to try to put your grief aside and your grief is so big and huge and raw mm-hmm. To make these seemingly arbitrary decisions. Yeah. And you're like, are you fucking kidding me right now?

Yvette 44:44

But would they, like, would they have liked that color of casket?

Kat 44:48

Right.

Yvette 44:48

Would they have wanted that sermon to be said? Mm-hmm. Would they, I mean, truly. Yeah. Yeah. Depending on the kind of person that you are that could drive you nuts. Yeah. Or watching someone else make all the choices and you're over here super annoyed

Kat 45:06

because you're like, that's not, that's not

Yvette 45:08

who they are. Yeah. That's not what it is. Right. So I do feel like just being loud and proud about it

Kat 45:15

mm-hmm.

Yvette 45:16

When we, when my husband and I were going to Alaska. We actually wrote down a lot of stuff. 'cause we were going on a bunch of bush planes. Yeah. And like bears. I didn't know. Yeah. Lots of, lots of bears. You know, the truth is though, the, the bear, it bears. Bears were not as scary as you'd think. But you, so I wanna B your snoot, but I'm not going to. No. My god bear. Definitely. But I understand what you're saying. Yeah. Like you are around a bunch of bears. That's true. But for me, a lot of it was like bush planes. Yeah. We were going on so many different planes. So we had written something out and I gave copies to my friends and I, I had it notarized and it was very much, this is what Matt wanted, this is what I wanted. Yeah. Here's what we do if, because we didn't really have anything. So it's not like we had a will. Right. But we wanted to make sure that our bodies were taken care of the way that we would want them taken care of. Right. Yeah. And there's just a piece of paper that when people are grieving. Or upset. Mm-hmm. You at least had this concrete thing written down direction Yep. That made it very clear, this is what we want.

Kat 46:30

Yes.

Yvette 46:32

In the end, if someone doesn't wanna respect that, well then they have to live with the guilt of that. Exactly. The truth is, is I'm dead. Right.

Kat 46:40

It's like, like,

Yvette 46:41

okay.

Kat 46:41

No, and, and that's part of it. It's, it's making the plans, making arrangements ahead of time. It's not for you, it's for the people who are still here once you're not Yeah. Their roadmap. My, when my grandpa died, he, he was a horticulturalist, so horticulturalists, this one in particular wanted to be buried in the ground, uhhuh. Um, and he was cremated and wanted to be buried in the ground. Somewhere along the way, there was a miscommunication. And so at Willamette National Cemetery, they interred him in the wall. Oh no. And you don't put a horticulturalist who specifically requested the ground into stone. Oh, no. But because it was like Willamette National Cemetery, there were a bunch of additional steps so that my grandma had to go through, uh, even though it wasn't a mess up on the family end.

Yvette 47:40

Yeah.

Kat 47:41

She had to get like permission from my uncle and my mom to have him moved and like all of the stuff and Yeah. Like, because the next of kin all had to agree. Yep. And they had to, they had to notarize. It was a whole thing. Oh no. Yeah. But, but we all knew. Yeah. That, oops, that's not the ground. Yeah. So now it's, I, it's when I'm gone to see 'em, I'm like, glad you're, you're in the ground where you want it to be. This is good.

Yvette 48:11

Mm-hmm.

Kat 48:12

This is good. That wall was not great. Mm-hmm. This is better for you.

Yvette 48:16

Well, and you know, with when grandpa passed away, so grandma and grandpa had, long before they'd chosen their caskets, they had, they knew where they were gonna be. Grandma made sure. So her parents are like the highest, you can go in, in a wall, in a mausoleum. They're at the very top. Okay. And she learned she didn't like that.

Kat 48:44

Yeah.

Yvette 48:45

Because you couldn't touch it for her. It was like, oh, I can't, I can't touch it.

Kat 48:48

Yeah.

Yvette 48:49

So that bugged her.

Kat 48:50

Yeah.

Yvette 48:51

So when she was choosing for her and grandpa, I forget, it's called like the heart wall or, oh, okay. There's like a name to it. Okay. Because it's at a point where you could touch it. It's not on the ground. Yeah. It's not at the very bottom. It's not at the very top. Right. It kind of just in middle you can in, in the middle you can just reach

Kat 49:08

out and it's there. Yeah.

Yvette 49:10

Yeah. Yeah. So that's why she chose that for her and grandpa so people could come and visit and

Kat 49:15

Yeah.

Yvette 49:15

I guess feel what she didn't feel she had with her parents. Yeah. After grandpa passed away and was buried, as far as I am aware, she only ever went back once.

Kat 49:30

Yeah.

Yvette 49:31

And when she went back she told me he's not there.

Kat 49:38

Yeah.

Yvette 49:39

He's here at the house.

Kat 49:41

Yeah.

Yvette 49:42

Because that's where they had their life together.

Kat 49:44

Right.

Yvette 49:46

And she just never felt like she had to go back again.

Kat 49:49

Yeah.

Yvette 49:50

Now not everybody feels that way. Right. But I think that just kind of shows it. It just depends on the person and

Kat 49:59

Yeah.

Yvette 50:00

What they need or how they look at it. And, and it, she thought it was going to be so important to her. Yeah.

Kat 50:06

Yeah.

Yvette 50:06

And for her personally, it's just not.

Kat 50:09

Right.

Yvette 50:10

You know, there's a place my mom has said that she wants her ashes thrown.

Kat 50:16

Yeah.

Yvette 50:17

So it's always been in my head that that's where she's going to be.

Kat 50:23

Yeah.

Yvette 50:24

And a few years ago she said something about, oh, maybe I should get a headstone and so people can visit, blah, blah, blah.

Kat 50:33

Yeah.

Yvette 50:34

I told her, IM like, well, you can do whatever you want. I'm never going there.

Kat 50:37

Yeah. You're like, that's not where I'll find you. What?

Yvette 50:39

Yeah. It means nothing to me. This place that you've always said is significant to you and to me. And that's,

Kat 50:50

that's where I'll go to look

Yvette 50:51

for you. That's where I would go. Yeah. You can still do whatever you want. I will honor whatever your wishes are.

Kat 50:57

Yes. I myself will not be visiting there. I'll

Yvette 50:59

not be going there. Yeah, that's fine.

Kat 51:02

Well, um, a family friend when they passed away, my, my folks are, my mom was the executor and he wanted his ashes spread in the backyard on the water. That's where he wanted to be. Yeah. And so we all got together and spread his ashes. And so that spot, whenever we go there, he, he's still there. Parts of him are still there. And so we think about that. Yeah. Because it's like, yeah. He didn't, he didn't wanna be buried, he didn't wanna be stuck somewhere, I think is what he said at one point. Mm-hmm. And so, Nope, he just got to float away in some water and just hang out at the house. So he is just there. He's like our just little happy ghost. Yeah. But I think that we find, we find people where we, where they are. Mm-hmm. Which isn't necessarily where they're buried. Well,

Yvette 51:57

yeah. And so it's probably why I find comfort being at the house Oh yeah. With grandma, you know, for grandma. Yeah. Um, and we have spots that we would go eat lunch. Mm-hmm. Or, you know, people watch right after a doctor's appointment. And so those kinds of things are also 'cause it's memories, right? Yeah. It's what, it's what you leave behind. Right. Um, so that's, but everybody's different. And I think it's important. Yeah. I think it's so important. Just be honest. It's not silly. Just say, just say whatever it is. Yeah. You want, you need, if you need Abba

Kat 52:36

to be playing Hey, at your funeral, do that. Yeah. Do that. We'll, I will, I will make sure it happens.

Yvette 52:42

Yes. I don't care how great or ridiculous it is. Yeah. Just if it's what you want.

Kat 52:51

Fine. Make it happen. Yeah. It will

Yvette 52:53

happen. I wrote in, in the paper that we had put together. Yeah. I spelled it out so clear. Do not spend a bunch of money on anything for me. Make it the, make it whatever is legally allowed. Yes. That is the simplest thing possible.

Kat 53:17

Yep.

Yvette 53:18

I wanna be cremated. So if, if you can just put me in a coffee can and not buy a funny urn. Right. Great. Right. If that's legal, do you want them sprinkle you places, you know? Well, and me being me, I had specific people who have like, you can take a little bit of me and take me on a trip and then you can Yes. Uhhuh. And I know some of you're gonna find that really gross and I think it's funny. I so love it.

Kat 53:43

You're like, I still get to go on adventure. Yes,

Yvette 53:45

exactly. My, my husband jokes that, um. When you pass away, you know, I'll make sure to take your ashes and go here and, and then he stops and says, you're gonna be pissed off. 'cause I didn't take you while you were alive, aren't you? I'm like, yeah, yeah. That kinda, what the hell man?

Kat 54:03

Yeah, right. Like, uh, add that to the itinerary. Oh, that's funny.

Yvette 54:08

You mean you had the time and money we could have gone while I was still here. What? Yes. Well that

Kat 54:14

goes, that goes back to what you said your grandma said to you, you know, don't be 82 lying in bed wishing you'd gone.

Yvette 54:20

Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of truth to that. One of the cool things going through her stuff was I found these trips from when she was young. Mm-hmm. She was still living at home and they, some of them were places I had been.

Kat 54:39

Oh.

Yvette 54:40

And like there was stuff in, uh, New Mexico. Mm-hmm. They had gone Carlsbad and there was, um. The North Rim of the Grand Canyon, which is harder to get to. And she has this photo at a spot, it's called, oh, it's not Angel's Rest that, that's a different perk, but it's called like Angel's Window. And you have to go up on this high peak and you can see it when you're not on it and can be like, oh my gosh, it's right there. And she had, so there's a photo and she had written above it. I was right here and I have a photo almost exactly like it. It's just, oh, I

Kat 55:21

got chills,

Yvette 55:21

trippy.

Kat 55:22

That's so, so

Yvette 55:24

that's so neat. Just to kind see since she's been gone, ways that were alike. Yeah. Um, and realize, even realizing even more, finding some letters and just finding little things that have made me know more about her, even more so than I had. Where I can understand why she'd get excited

Kat 55:53

Yeah.

Yvette 55:54

For me doing things.

Kat 55:56

Yeah.

Yvette 55:57

Um, so

Kat 55:57

the history you didn't know.

Yvette 55:59

Yeah. Which also tends to bum me out a little.

Kat 56:04

Yeah.

Yvette 56:05

Because I can't ask her.

Kat 56:05

Right. You're like, why couldn't you have told me this when it happened?

Yvette 56:08

Exactly.

Kat 56:09

Yeah.

Yvette 56:10

Like, and it wasn't, the information wasn't even that far away. I just wasn't going through her things. Yeah, right. You're like, privacy, what? Yeah. So now I'm going through things and there is this part of me that's like, dammit.

Kat 56:22

Yeah.

Yvette 56:23

I knew I had been saying to her for years, oh, can we go through a room together? Yeah. So I know what's here and, oh, there's so many mysteries in this house. You're like, Hey, grandma wanna solve some of those mysteries. Right. And I just think that she probably, you know, if she's floating around, she's laughing, she's cracking

Kat 56:43

up. He's like, oh, I wondered. You'll never know. I wondered when you would find that.

Yvette 56:49

Yeah. Oh my gosh. So there are things and

Kat 56:52

yeah,

Yvette 56:53

it's, but I also know her well enough to be like, oh, well this is probably how she wanted it.

Kat 56:59

Yes. Sounds like she was the kind of lady who would want a little mystery.

Yvette 57:04

Yeah. It's not your business. Yeah. Okay.

Kat 57:08

It's

Yvette 57:08

not my

Kat 57:08

business, not my business. I have all of this random paraphernalia from this, not my business. Uhhuh.

Yvette 57:14

Yep. Pretty much. Thanks, grandma. That would be the name of her podcast.

Kat 57:18

It's

Yvette 57:18

not

Kat 57:18

your business Paraphernalia. Not my business. Love it. Oh my gosh. That's a good name for a podcast.

Yvette 57:25

Yeah.

Kat 57:26

Yeah.

Yvette 57:27

You could make another one.

Kat 57:28

Oh,

Yvette 57:29

I know.

Kat 57:30

I'm like, what podcast is enough? One podcast is enough. Well, thank you for chatting about your grandma. Yeah. Is any any parting wisdom you would like to share?

Yvette 57:46

Oh, I don't know. Just the elderly are not old. Does that make sense? Absolutely, it does. Like they're just, just

Kat 58:03

because our bodies are, doesn't mean the rest of us is.

Yvette 58:05

No, she was, she specifically was 20 years old.

Kat 58:10

Yeah.

Yvette 58:11

She just looked in the mirror and would go, what the hell? She would say that.

Kat 58:14

Yeah.

Yvette 58:15

She'd be like, you know, I think I'm 20. And then I look in the mirror and go, ah, what happens?

Kat 58:20

What happens?

Yvette 58:22

But there I was around a lot of older people because I was helping her with appointments and doing different things and, and going through the stuff since she's passed away where it's really been in my face about what she was like when she was younger. Yeah. Because I'm going through all this

Kat 58:39

stuff. Because you only know

Yvette 58:42

Yeah. This version

Kat 58:43

of her.

Yvette 58:44

Yeah. I've heard stories. Right. But to really see it's the elderly are not old. They're in there. Yeah. And they tend to be discarded more than they should be.

Kat 59:00

Yeah. Definitely.

Yvette 59:02

Yeah. Well,

Kat 59:03

thank you y

Yvette 59:04

Thank

Kat 59:04

you. I'm glad we got to chat. Yay. And if you wanna come back and chat more, we'll have to make that happen.

Yvette 59:10

Oh, I'm sure.

Kat 59:11

But once I move,

Yvette 59:13

I think that's fair. I'll get to see your new place. You can see,

Kat 59:16

and you're the last new person.

Yvette 59:18

Hey, to get

Kat 59:19

to see the old place.

Yvette 59:21

Isn't that crazy?

Kat 59:22

It's, I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. Like, since I said that to you earlier, I was like, oh, it's so weird. It's a new chapter. It's a new chapter.

Yvette 59:31

We are old enough to have chapters. We're

Kat 59:34

old enough to have like. We could have like part one God and part two. We could have an abridged version

Yvette 59:43

Uhhuh

Kat 59:44

and then an unabridged one because extra books are big.

Yvette 59:46

There's so there's, Matt would disagree. There's so much wisdom in this room.

Kat 59:53

Oh my God. There are also some really entertaining, nerdy stories. Oh my Lord. Yeah. Yeah. Like Survivor Monopoly. That was a long, do you remember that survivor monopoly? We went to the beach speech Kids. We all went to the beach. Oh. And we played Monopoly for the whole weekend and we, people were carrying around their money and their properties in their wallets.

Yvette 1:00:19

It was, I hate Monopoly.

Kat 1:00:22

That's probably why. What a, what a time to be alive. Oh God. Yeah.

Yvette 1:00:29

Oh, well, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. Yeah.

Kat 1:00:33

Thanks for chatting. Absolutely. Yay.

Yvette 1:00:40

So with that, the cats and I are gonna go aila, uh, you know, ceased being sociable, disappeared. I will let you all know that as soon as Yvette left and I came back in the house, they were all sitting in summoning triangle. So all was right with the world. Um. I hope you guys enjoyed listening to our chat. If you are not already doing so, please like, share and subscribe. Uh, wherever you listen to your podcast. Do that for all the podcasts you listen to. It makes a big difference for us. And I squeal with glee every time I read a new review, so thank you. Um, we're on the social medias at, sorry. That's my inside voice. And we will be back soon with our next episode. Thanks everybody. Talk to y'all soon.