Conflict Management Styles🇧🇼

Since conflict is inevitable, it’s important to have strategies that could help us to positively manage it or cope. We can successfully go through conflict without allowing it to destroy us, our families, communities, organizations or our nation.
 
 There are different conflict management styles people ofte use to resolve conflict . Some styles may lead to positive outcomes, whilst others could exacerbate the conflict; therefore it’s important to have an awareness of the conflict management styles you tend to use more often and if there are helping or making things worse.
 There are 5 Conflict Management Styles (acronym = AACCC) 
 Avoiding: The person withdraws from the issue of conflict, mind their own business and pretend they don’t care or are not affected, pretend the issue doesn’t bother them, there is no engagement at all or any form of discussion. Avoidance is used and therefore it leads to: Lose-lose situation, No resolution is reached, poor relationships, needs/desires not being met, therefore Conflict may continue because people avoid/fear talking about it.
 Accommodating: Others’ needs, desires are accommodated, neglecting own needs, please others, submissive, obedient in an unhealthy way because one gives in to unreasonable demands. End Result : Lose-win situation; I lose, you win scenario, the idea is to not even try to compete; argue or convince you as I will always end up hurt, often manipulation is used.
 Competing: doing whatever it takes to win, defend our positions, take advantage of any loopholes. End Result: Win-lose situation; I win you lose at all costs, one can even change the rules in efforts to win, to destroy the opponent, embarrass, intimidate, fabricate e.g its common in  bitter divorces cases/politics etc. The idea is to take advantage of your submissiveness & accommodating tendencies,  lack of confidence & lack of resources to stand for yourself; it may intensify the existing conflict further. 
 Compromising: Willing to reciprocate, give up something to gain something, there is engagement, dialogue, both sides end up either pleased or not pleased, concessions are made. End Result: poor form of a Win-win situation, making concessions, we both lose something to gain something, we neither fully satisfied but at least we each don’t completely lose out; we end up with ownership of the outcome rather than situation favouring only one person. No one obtains what they originally wanted but a compromise  is reached (common in divorce settlements right?). 
 Collaborating: Everybody’s needs and wants are fully met in this style, addressing conflict is a team effort and yet also addresses individuals’ issues of concern as a part of a whole, because when one department/unit/individual is hurting it affects the whole organization. Uses problem solving and peaceful negotiations, “Not my way, Not your way but OUR way” therefore leads to: Win-win situation; I win you win; WE WIN., we combine our efforts, our ideas and inputs for the good of  the family, organization or our nation. This is the ideal style to use. 
 In conclusion: # Always identify what triggers the conflict. # If you can’t address it engage someone neutral to help look at the situation objectively from the outside.
Use existing psychosocial support structures e.g Botsadi, Molaodi, BNYC youth centres and if it persists seek counselling; call YOCA+ at 17270 for a toll free 24hr telephone counselling 
 Or contact those in private practice such as : New Beginnings Counselling Center Botswana www.newbeginningsbw.com 
 Tel : 3116488
  New Perspectives : Tel 3184344
 Aspire:Tel 3117384/89