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Up-Level Your Life with Mindy
Up-Level Your Life with Mindy
Finding Your Sunshine with Deborah Mallow
Deborah Mallow shares her unique approach to positivity that feels less like a chore and more like a dance party, offering practical strategies to flip the script on negativity and find your sunshine. She reveals how her burnout as a top pharmaceutical sales rep led her to develop the Daily Decisions toolkit and write "Six Steps to Fewer Days That Suck."
• Understanding the negativity bias and how to counteract it
• The power of small steps that lead to big changes over time
• How to navigate grief and tough times without forced positivity
• Building confidence through positive risks and getting out of your comfort zone
• The science behind why 91% of things we worry about never happen
• Inspiring stories of people who succeeded later in life (Grandma Moses, Colonel Sanders)
• Practical tips for being kinder to yourself and focusing on your accomplishments
• How treating yourself with kindness naturally extends to treating others better
If you want to learn more about Deborah or join her complimentary Positive Energy Club, visit http://thedailydecisions.com/inspire where you can sign up for her newsletter, happiness motivation worksheets, and feel-good activities. To purchase Deborah's book, "Six Steps to Fewer Days That Suck" click here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F8HYFHQ6
To learn more about Mindy CLICK HERE
hey, friends, this is your host, mindy duff, and you're listening to up. Level your life with mindy, your number one personal growth podcast that will bring you closer to uncovering your greatest self. As a certified holistic health and nutrition coach, I created this podcast for anyone who desires to improve physically, emotionally and spiritually. I'll be interviewing experts and sharing tips and tricks that have helped not only my clients, but that have guided me on my own transformational journey. I believe that we all have a greatness that lies within. We just need to uncover it. Are you ready to level up? Then let's begin.
Speaker 2:Hey everyone and welcome back to Uplevel your Life with Mindy. I am your host, mindy Duff, and I am so excited today to be chatting with my special guest. I've got Debra Mallow, ray of sunshine, herself in the flesh I'm going to be chatting with today and hopefully this episode we were talking before we even got started here. Hopefully this episode uplifts you, even if you're in a great mood. Hopefully you're even higher than you imagined you could be If you're not feeling quite so great. Hopefully by the end of this you're going to be feeling a little more lifted in your spirits. Because that's kind of Debra's whole gig. I'm going to read her bio for you because I think it's fun.
Speaker 2:Deborah's unique career path has been more twisty than a pretzel, but it led her to create the Daily Decisions, a self-improvement toolkit that makes positivity feel less like a chore and more like a dance party. Who doesn't want more dance parties in their life? Right, With her Positive Energy Club, she's here to remind you that it's not about forcing positivity. It's about approaching life differently. Life is too short to be grumpy, so let Debra be your ray of sunshine, debra, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3:So excited to chat with you. Mindy, you know I'm a fan of your podcast. Oh my God, so good, so many pearls, and you're such a thoughtful, masterful host, hostess, host.
Speaker 2:You are. Thank you so much. I think we have very aligned purposes with what we're doing here. So before we get into some of these questions that I have for you today, can you just in your own words I know I kind of just read your bio there a little bit but can you in your own words describe for us what it is that you do and what you're all about?
Speaker 3:I help people get unstuck and I know we talk about being stuck and what that is is figuring out what makes you happier. I'm not saying that we're going to be happy every minute of the day, but what makes you happier, what gives you purpose every day? What do you like to do, rather than being stuck in a job or a life or a relationship where you feel that you're not learning, you're not growing, you're not being or reaching your maximum potential, and you crave doing that. Some people don't. Some people are happy enough just plodding along, but there's so many of us that seek more from life and that's what the daily decisions my brand is about is making those decisions that we can reshape our thoughts and reframe our perspective.
Speaker 3:We don't need to stay in our negativity, we don't need to worry and fear. We just need to flip the script. And it's about having fewer days that suck and finding your sunshine. And I ask everyone please just give yourself a hug and just say kind words to yourself. Smile, because that brings the endorphins and makes you feel better, and just appreciate yourself. Enough with finding that one thing that doesn't make you feel good that you did in a day. Look at all the good things you do in the day. Flip the script, and that's what I'm about cheerleading and helping people do that.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I love that and I think we all know that it's important. But it's really easy to let yourself get kind of drugged down sometimes, even if you know I mean, I know all the things, I interview all the people on these podcasts and I've heard all their tips and tricks and even still it's not that I've never had a bad day. I am much better at, like you say, catching it and turning it around Not always, but I've got more tools and that's what this episode hopefully will help. People that are listening right now give you some more tools for your toolbox and, if it's not enough, debra's got just so many more. Speaking of one of your tools, you have a book called Six Steps to Fewer Days that Suck, which I mean, yeah, who'd raise your hand if you need some of that in your life, absolutely. So I'm curious, before you tell us about the book in particular, what even led you to write this book?
Speaker 3:My burnout, negativity. Being the number one sales rep at an iconic pharmaceutical company, number one over and over again. You think, oh my gosh, she's going to be so happy, she's on top of the world. Well, getting there, I pushed myself and pushed myself. I was competing with myself to the point of burnout, frustration, not feeling good about myself and not finding the joy in every day. Because I was there chasing myself to be number one over and over again and I realized, if I don't change, nothing ever will change. And it's really that way for all of us. We all, I truly believe we all want to enjoy our lives more. It's all about getting unstuck and making those small steps that lead to big changes. Over time, they make a bigger impact. And so there I was, feeling this and I said you know, I'm going to do something about it. And some people use therapy. So I made my own therapy.
Speaker 3:I started to read about people who accomplished in their life and how they dealt with it. I read about the science behind why human beings act a certain way and ways to flip that script. I read quotes that uplifted me. I asked myself questions. I came up with strategies and solutions and tips and a mantra to say, and that is all in a double page on every topic that we all struggle with no more excuses, walk away from negativity. Happiness is a choice. Procrastination, fear, worry it's all there. And then the good things, like gratitude and giving yourself grace all of that on a double page. So I wanted to make it simple. The science is simple. The words, the blocks of text are very simple, because we don't need to complicate our lives. We need to simplify our lives. Visuals and little snippets, like where vision is a decision, things you can pull out when you're about to go down a rabbit hole and say I'm going to flip the script, I know what I'm doing and I'm not going there. And the more we do this, our brains love patterns. So the more we do positive, not negative, because both are contagious we do more positive. We create those positive patterns that stick, and you can't discredit the strategy until you really try it. It's like poo-pooing things and not giving yourself the chance, getting out of your own way and finding things in life that serve you better Self-care, kindness to yourself.
Speaker 3:When you're kind to yourself, you're generally kinder to other people. Other people want to be around you. Who wants to be around a sourpuss, negative person. Honestly, I say release the toxic and move away from those negative people that drag you down. Do this for yourself. It's not for me, it's not for Mindy, this is for you, and why not give it a shot? It really works. I proved it because I don't worry anymore. I don't waste my time with things like that. I wake up in the morning, I smile, I said, I hug myself, I say kind words to prevent the cortisol spike that naturally occurs, and then carry this through the rest of the day and in the evening to set up the next day. That's how I changed. I really did. It just feels so much better, great, great tips.
Speaker 2:And as you're listening, I'm listening to this and I'm thinking from a spirituality perspective. It sounds a lot like law of attraction. If people are familiar with that, you know talking about drawing things to you like attracts, like. So the more you go down the hole of oh, everything's miserable and this sucks and this sucks and everything else does too, you're going to get more of that. And the reverse is true, what you're saying, the more you can notice the good, the more you're going to get the good. And if you don't get into that spiritual side of things, then the science backs it up too. You know we have something called the reticular activating system. I've talked about that before. I'm sure, debra, you might be familiar. That's where you know.
Speaker 2:I always tell people to play the red truck game if they don't believe it, because it's science, it's how your brain works. If you're out next time you're driving around, see how many red trucks you notice. And they're going to be everywhere. I mean just unbelievably everywhere. You're not going to even believe how many red trucks you're going to start to notice when you tell your brain to notice and it's not that there's more out there, it's that you just told your brain. We're looking for this now Because your brain filters so much stuff out on any given day at any given moment. So it's the same. You know law of attraction. Is it the same as that? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But does it matter? No, what matters is you do what Deborah said and you try it right.
Speaker 3:Try it and prove us wrong, but there is something to it and I think everybody can prove that there's something to it, because there's things that we hope for, like a job or meeting someone or whatever, and then miraculously it happens. Why? Because you're putting your energy, your focus and your effort on it. Whatever you put effort and energy toward is usually what happens, and that could be negative or positive, and we choose to put it toward the positive. And I think if everybody tried to put it more towards the positive and flip the script, people would be so much happier. I feel so badly when I see people stuck and struggling with themselves and they can't get out of their own way because they're the only ones who can make the shift, make the change.
Speaker 3:And what you said about red trucks I use that in my book too. It's not red trucks, but it's all about perspective. And what I say is imagine if you could turn it on or off, inviting in a fruitful, happier life. We see things all the time. We focus on something and then we see it more and more. It's the same thing with happiness law of attraction. It's exactly the same thing. So give it a try. Don't discredit the strategy. Look for your red truck. Look for your happiness. Don't discredit the strategy. Look for your red truck, look for your happiness. Put energy into the things that are going to serve you, because life should be enjoyed Every day. Yes, we have challenging times. There's death, there's all kinds of crazy things that happen, but you could be happier more than not, so why not Ask yourself that question? I asked that question, why not?
Speaker 2:So I have a question for you. Okay, so I'm not one for forced positivity, necessarily, right. I believe that, yes, we want to look for the good, but I also know that you know we're human and life happens and sometimes something horrible happens and you're kind of, maybe, in the depths of it, even if it doesn't seem like it's that big of a deal to somebody else. Doesn't really matter what everybody else thinks. What matters is how you feel and you're in that and you feel that way and you know you don't want to feel that way.
Speaker 2:But I've talked about this before. You know, I'm curious your tips on how do you get from that the depths of despair up to happy again, because I know you can't just say, okay, you know, my best friend just passed away and I was not expecting it and I'm just in the depths of grief and sorrow. But that lady on the podcast said I should be happy. So I guess like, oh, look, there goes an ice cream truck. I mean like, how do you? You know that's not just in the depths of grief and sorrow. But that lady on the podcast said I should be happy. So I guess like, oh, look, there goes an ice cream truck. I mean, like, how do you? You know that's not going to do it for you, so what are your tips on getting?
Speaker 3:out of that. How do we do that? Well, that's what I said you can't be happy every moment of the day and just understanding that and giving yourself the grace again. It comes back to being kind to ourselves, speaking kindly to ourselves, understanding, acknowledging what is happening. And yes, it's a difficult time and yes, you lost a friend, and I get it. I mean, we've all been there. People die and it's not expected. Even if it is expected, it's still. You have to get through the grief. But it's how you approach that and finding things in life that also you can enjoy doing, because it doesn't serve us to stay in that low point all the time. You should not feel guilty. You should not feel guilty. Somebody passes to then start to have a good time.
Speaker 3:My friend lost her husband and I'm so proud of her because she's moved on. Was it hard? Oh my God. They were married for so many years. I mean I could start crying now, but I'm so proud of her for actually start crying now, but I'm so proud of her for actually she remodeled a bathroom, she met a new man, she met a few and she made a decision. And you know she could stay grieving for the rest of her life, but she has to live her life.
Speaker 3:We all have to live our lives. So we go through the grief. All have to live our lives. So we go through the grief and then we do things nice for ourselves. We have to continue living. So my question to everyone is how do you want to continue living? Do you want to enjoy or do you want to wallow in your grief? And I want to say, yes, bad things happen. Bad things will always happen, but we owe it to ourselves to enjoy our lives. Maybe someone doesn't agree with me, but I say why do you want to be miserable? You can't change what already happened. We can't go back. And I am going to cry because I feel so badly for people who were stuck, because I was there. But the choice is ours. We have choices and hopefully you make a choice that serves you, yeah, and you can be happier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that some of that, depending on what kind of situation you're going through, and this I mean it could be something big or it could be not even that. I mean maybe you're just like in a little slump and you don't even know why. But I think this, this path to happiness, is all about being kind to yourself. I mean, that's why you want to be happy, right, Because it feels good, and so I think maybe we just need to ask ourselves what in this moment, what is something that would be nice? Maybe it's not going to shoot me to the top of the happiness scale I'm going to be the most ecstatic of my life, but you know what A cup of tea sounds comforting.
Speaker 2:So then go get a cup of tea. You know what I mean? Like small little, but asking yourself and listening to what you are craving and what you need in those moments, and that can help boost you up to where you know you have a new kind of set point. Now you're not quite so low anymore and eventually, over time again, depending on what it is you'll be happier and happier. Now, I mean, everybody wants to live a well-lived life. Everyone wants to be happy and intentional with their life. Why do you think self-care, self-worth, self-esteem and confidence are such an important part of that intentional, well-lived life?
Speaker 3:And absolutely, as I mentioned to you, I think, all of that when you feel, it goes back to feeling good about yourself, right, when you have confidence, when you don't feel less than you feel. I know those words are trite, but I am enough, because we all are all strive for the things that we want and striving for those things. If you have the confidence and the belief in yourself to do it, you will and you'll surpass even your own expectations honestly, and that's building confidence and resilience, because being able to bounce back just what we were talking about before when things happen or you're not feeling so great, being able to bounce back, knowing that you really can because you've done it before. The more we practice doing this, the small steps we take and we have our accomplishments, so we build confidence. We believe in ourselves enough to maybe go after that job that we want or start that side hustle that we want, or maybe ask somebody out you know, depending on, of course, if you're single or not and or whatever it might be is taking a risk in life, not just a risk that will serve you I'm not talking about dangerous risks, I would not advise that but learning and growing and proving to yourself that you are capable, you are worthy. We all are.
Speaker 3:I love to say this, these few words we are who we think we are. And think about it. If you think that you're, if you are confident, if you believe in yourself, you have self-esteem and self-worth, if you are kind to yourself, all those things, look what you're putting out into the world. This is what you put out into the world. If you feel that you're not good enough, if you're always being negative, if you don't believe in yourself, look what you're putting out into the world and, truthfully, who wants to be around that? Who wants to hire that?
Speaker 3:Think about that too, because we really can change. You know, you might not be the most outgoing person in the world, but when you put yourself out there and you do it a few times, it just becomes easier and easier. It's like anything else. It's flipping that script, and the more we do it, the more comfortable we become. It's a comfort zone, is not comfortable. A comfort zone has us stuck, so trying other things and getting ourselves comfortable with it and seeing that you can do it, we can do hard things, and that accomplishment brings confidence. So that's why I believe that all of that is so important because we learn and grow and we become a better version of ourselves.
Speaker 2:I know that's trite, but it's really true and I think you know, as you're talking, I'm thinking that getting out of your comfort zone and trying something in a positively risky sort of way we'll call it that I think that probably is a major key in becoming unstuck. So for people that are just kind of feeling blah about life and they're not even sure what's wrong, you're just, probably for many people, just too comfortable and you just need to go learn a new hobby or do that thing that you wanted to do, but oh, I could never because X, y, z, like well, maybe you can't, but you don't know until you try it. Right, that kind of an attitude. But I feel, like so many of us, our fears and this kind of negativity bias that we have that holds us back and that keeps us from doing that, because we're just too afraid of I don't even know what.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I have fears that hold me back and I don't even know, like, what do I think is actually going to happen? Well, I haven't thought about that part, I just know that not something, not good, I don't know. I should just stay here, comfortable in my cozy little spot. So why, why do they stop us from going after our goals? And what do you do when you become aware that your fears are holding you back?
Speaker 3:and, and it's really true, and you said, the negativity bias, which, again, it's like the cortisol spike, the negativity bias goes back to early humans and it was a different time. Then they had to be alert and protective and everything. But honestly, are we going to be attacked by a wild boar? You know, yes, sometimes our fears are good because they stop us that negativity bias, which is that our minds, our brains, our thoughts tend to process and lean on negative information and feel the sting of the negative information over the positive. This is what we tend to remember the negative events in our lives over the positive, and, of course, it stops us from moving forward. So, understanding that and saying, because our minds can tell us all kinds of stories, and it's like worry, 91% of the study I read out of Penn State, 91% of the things we worry about never happen. Well, that's true for the stories we tell ourselves, the way we stop ourselves from just living our lives going forward. That's why I love reading stories and I include these brief little stories in my book in the double page about people that went after their dream, depending, of course, on the topic and what the topic is of that double page, and it's remarkable. And what's so remarkable too and I have them in my book too are people even at an older age, because it doesn't matter what age you are. You should not find ways to stop yourself from going after things that will enrich your life. I love the story of Grandma Moses, 77 years old or 76, and she picks up a paintbrush for the first time and now she hangs in museums. Or Colonel Sanders, who started cooking chicken at 40, in his 40s in his roadside service station, 10 years to perfect his finger-licking good secret recipe I'm a commercial too and then he had like over a thousand I think the number is 1,009 rejections before he franchised his first franchise in his 60s. So stop giving yourself excuses. Many rejections and failed school and everything else.
Speaker 3:Appointed the United the what is it? The Britain's prime minister in his 60s also. So the thing is. And all that resilience, all those challenges, and he still proclaimed himself an optimist, mind you. So it is a choice how you want to reframe your thoughts. All of that, the resilience and that he kept going, that's what got him to where he is.
Speaker 3:And I'm not saying that we're looking to have these grandiose plans, but I believe we all have dreams of things we'd like to do, Things that just make us feel good, Whether it's drawing, whether it's flower arranging, whether it's cooking, whatever it might be. For each person, you owe it to yourself to do it, and when you do it, give yourself grace, because there's a learning curve and sometimes certain things are not meant for us, so we do it a certain way. Maybe it doesn't work, but think about this. Who knows what might come out of it and get you to the place you were meant to be. The story about. And then I'll stop.
Speaker 3:The story about Kinney, the man who wrote Diary of a Wimpy Kid. He wanted to become a syndicated cartoonist. He developed a comic strip in college. He tried and it didn't happen. He started writing Diary of a Wimpy Kid. A website picked it up, did it in daily installments and then a book publisher found him. He thought it was for adults. No, they put it out for children, as we all know. Everybody knows that series. Let life lead you to where you are meant to be. As hokey as it might sound, we need to work through different challenges, but always remain true to ourselves.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that. So as you're talking, I'm thinking I wonder if a good strategy might be. So everyone that's listening. Think of one thing that you have wanted to do but you just haven't. Because you've kind of stopped yourself, not because, oh yeah, I know I will do that, I just haven't gotten to it yet but something where you're like, no, no, no, I just for some reason, I always think I'm going to and I just something's holding me back. Just for some reason I always think I'm going to and I just something's holding me back.
Speaker 2:Sit down with a piece of paper and write down all the reasons why you can't do it, why it would not be a good idea, and look and see if any of them are because of legit safety issues Okay, that's, that's a legit thing. Maybe you shouldn't do it. Financial things, I mean that's worth considering. That doesn't mean you can never do it. It just means you maybe can't do something tomorrow. If your dream is to own a yacht and you have $10 in your bank, yep, I don't do that tomorrow, but that doesn't mean you can't work towards it if that's your main goal. And then all the reasons I mean, like, do a total brain dump and then kind of look at them again and go ask yourself some of these questions.
Speaker 2:Deborah was saying, like when she was talking about what 90 some percent of things that we worry about don't even happen. So do you know that? That's so, here's a fear, but do you know? It's true? Do you know that, yes, that's definitely what will happen? Or you just think that that maybe could happen, and then sit with that for a while and see where you're at and then kind of go inward and think, okay, do I still want to do this, now that I've kind of discounted some of these fears and maybe you'll be left with something that's a lot more simple than what you'd even thought of to begin with. I know that's happened to me before. There's been stuff where I thought, oh, there's no way, that's going to take way too much work, and then I just went for it and I was like, wow, that was really easy. Actually, I don't know why I wasted so much time procrastinating or putting that off, because it was so easy.
Speaker 2:Even this podcast. People will ask me all the time when they're getting started with podcasts. Hey, if anybody listening wants to start a podcast, just message me. I will tell you everything you need to know in like five steps. You'll just message me. I will tell you everything you need to know in like five steps. It's you'll be. You'll have a podcast by the end of the day. It's so simple, but we build it up. We build these things up and we think I could never, because it's I don't know.
Speaker 3:Just because X, y, z, no, not true. It's the stories we tell ourselves and honestly, you can keep telling yourself the stories. But so many people get to the end of their lives and they say why did I complicate things? I read a lot. Why do I do that? Why didn't I try this or that? And then it's too late. So I say, don't have regrets. I mean that's why I wrote. Well, I was.
Speaker 3:I wrote the book originally for me. It was my guidebook, but when people suggested that it could help other people, I said I want to do that. I want to pay it forward and be able to help other people as well. And also, it's a challenge. I've never done it before. I couldn't even I tried to get an agent. I tried and I tried and I just decided okay, I'll self-publish. It's a more difficult route because you have to do your own marketing and everything else. But I went.
Speaker 3:I did it with positive intentions to help people and to also learn and grow myself, because it would be easier not to do it. It would have been easier to stay in my job as a farmer rep and cycle and cycle on my hamster wheel and keep winning number one and all of that it would have been. Maybe it would have been better for my bank account to try new things, to take a risk, a good risk, a risk that I felt would benefit me on my life journey, and that's really what it's all about. We should all strive to reach our maximum potential. No, I don't want to put pressure on people. I don't want you to overwhelm yourself. People, I don't want you to overwhelm yourself.
Speaker 3:Do it in small steps and find time for joy while you're doing it. Find time to have fun, to see friends. Don't stay stuck in your own little bubble. Exercise, take walks, meet people, do things that are going to entice our endorphins, those neurotransmitters to bring that happiness into your life. There's choices to boost your endorphins or not, and it's simple. We all know even foods that do that not eating the processed foods, not eating so much sugar, sleeping enough so that you're not so emotionally wrought. There's so many things that we could do to better ourselves. And who are we doing it for? I'm going to repeat it again You're doing this for you. You matter. Keep saying that to yourself as a mantra you matter and you are a gift. We all are a gift and we all live in this world and it's up to us to make it better or worse for ourselves and all the people who join in. Oh, I love that.
Speaker 2:So, so true. Now, you shared some really great things in there, so we know we need to be resilient and take some risks and do some things to get out of our bubble. What are some of your other tips that you can send us out with here today on boosting our happiness, maybe in particular, for people who are like inspired by this, like okay, I'm ready, let's do this, let's be more happy. What do I have to do? Tell me, make it a list and I'll check everything off.
Speaker 3:Well, I think the most important thing is to be to have grace and be gentle and kind to yourself, not to put all that pressure on ourselves. We tend to do it I said this at the beginning. We tend to focus on and it's that negativity bias again we focus on the few things that maybe didn't meet our expectations that we did in a day, rather than focusing on all the positive things that we contributed to that day. And you know what? This is what I do. At the end of the day, I make a list of the positive things I do and, yes, because I like growth, I talk about to myself flipping the script how, if something didn't meet my expectations, I'd get down on myself anymore. I problem solve. I come up with ways that maybe I could try things a little differently, because how else are you going to learn and grow and get better at something? Challenge yourself to do that, because that too, that accomplishment, is what brings confidence, what builds resilience, what helps you build your positive mindset and let that positive energy circulate. And that's what I just hope for everybody listening for everybody in the world, because you know what, if everybody was kind to themselves, chances are they'd be kind to other people and we have less strife in this world.
Speaker 3:I'm not a political person. I never talk about that because that doesn't serve me. But honestly, we need more kindness in this world and it starts with each of us. So think of yourself as doing something good for the world. Being kind to yourself is going to make you kind to others. You're not going to have that anger and frustration as much choking you. Pause before you react, before going down a rabbit hole, letting the anger or frustration take over. Pause and flip your script and do this for you and say something positive and realize that when you go down that rabbit hole, all you're hurting is yourself, because other people walk away from you. But you have to live with you. So find a way to enjoy yourself and appreciate yourself so you enjoy yourself.
Speaker 3:I think Mindy enjoys herself. I enjoy myself. Okay, there are days I struggle. We all struggle. You will always struggle, but it's how you react to these situations. Practice, train your mind to look at things differently. Approach life differently, don't. I'm not about forcing positivity, as Mindy told you. It's how we approach life, how we react to each situation and how we treat ourselves with kindness or with hatred. Treat yourself with kindness, please do.
Speaker 2:Well, I love all that so much and it's so, so important. Again, it's just the kindness starts with you and I think that you know the people. For people that are listening that well, you know what, honestly, people who are kind of well, you know what, honestly, people who are kind of there already probably didn't listen to this episode, and that's fine, like, if it's not for you, because you're already like living it and doing it, that's awesome. I'm glad you need this episode. But for the people listening and they're like, oh, okay, I guess I'll try. Yeah, it starts with trying and it's not going to be perfect and it might take a while um, quite a while.
Speaker 2:If you're someone who's not used to trying to, okay, let's see how can I reframe. If you're not somebody that's used to doing, that it's, it doesn't happen overnight, but it does happen and you have to just trust that. You know, the more you do it, the more it's of mind. The more you're trying some of these tips and strategies that Debra's mentioned, the more it's just going to be who you become Not something you have to try and check off a checklist or anything like that, but using these tools that will help you become the type of person who naturally just kind of looks for the good and reframes most of the time. But it's a process. It doesn't I'm here to raise my hand and testify. It does not happen overnight, but it does. I mean I noticed a huge difference in just I mean five years ago in my own self, just from doing some of these types of things that you're talking about, debra. So it does, it does work, it does. You just have to trust us.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's giving yourself grace while you're going through it, because you can't overwhelm yourself and do everything at once. You have to, as Mindy said, trust the process and I know we hear these words all the time but just keep saying to yourself I'm doing this for me Because, honestly, you're your most prized possession, or your most prized project I should say Possession, I don't like that word, but you're your most prized project. So work on yourself for yourself, because you matter.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, debra. I have one final question for you, and this is a question that I ask all of my podcast guests. She knows it's coming, she's heard the show before, so I know you've shared some things already that could qualify as your answer, but I'm going to ask you outright If you could pick one thing that you wish everyone on the planet would do, what would that one thing be?
Speaker 3:Well, before I say that, everybody has to listen to Mindy's show where she talked to Avery, her AI buddy, because Avery answered that question the way I could never, but I would have wanted to answer that question Just to become your higher self. But the way Avery said it and this is AI, but you know what it was spot on. But for me, I have a more simple approach to it, though. I love Avery's response. Everyone listen to that episode. It is enlightening and it might even help you to find your own Avery sounding board. Anyhow, for me, I wish the world or people would be kind to themselves, because I hear people always getting down on themselves, never feeling they're good enough, never going after their dreams, just stuck in a cycle of I don't know what, I don't want to even say negativity, but just that hamster wheel of their life and never moving past that. I know people who don't travel.
Speaker 3:I'm not saying that that's the be all, end all, but be curious in your life. Try different things. Don't be jealous because you know what. You think someone else's life might be better. We all struggle. Remember it's the human condition we all have. It might be different, but the grass isn't greener on the other side, it really isn't, it's just different. Maybe it's even brown. Maybe your life is better, but you don't even want to recognize that.
Speaker 3:So give yourself grace, be kind to yourself, appreciate yourself and, please, if you have one dream, one goal in your life, start now, Little steps, little bit every day. Start now, little steps, little bit every day. I like to get up early in the morning and, when I'm fresh, with that cup of coffee or a cup of tea or whatever you like, just start to do whatever it is, plan it and when we make positive patterns that stick, remember our brains like patterns, we will look forward to that and that will bring you your sense of accomplishment. You see that you can do it. Belief in self and self-esteem, do something for yourself and, believe me, it'll benefit other people too. It's not selfish, because when you feel good, when we all feel good, then we make the others around us feel good. When we feel crappy, how do we make other people feel? Remember we're here to have fewer days that suck and I'll put this on for everybody and we need to find our sunshine, and may you all always walk in your sunshine. Love that.
Speaker 2:I, I don't know, debra, I thought that was a pretty good answer, that that rivals Avery's answer in my book.
Speaker 3:So oh, mindy, that's why I love you. You always build me up and you build your audience up too. I like I can listen to. I listen to Mindy. That's why I love you. You always build me up and you build your audience up too. I like I can listen to. I listen to Mindy every day. So I mean, I don't talk to Mindy every day, but I have her podcast, so you know, you have to do, we all have to do that. We have to find things in our lives that lift us up in our lives that lift us up and people in our lives that do that for us, because just doing that puts a smile on your face and the smile triggers the endorphins. See how easy it is. We over complicate everything. Stop over complicating. Find simple, do simple. I'm simple, I have simple ideas and you know what they work because they're not complicated, it doesn't take forever to do them and you don't have to read graphs and charts. Oh my God, give me a headache.
Speaker 2:I'm all about simple for sure. Well, Debra, thank you so much for being on the show today. And if people are listening and they're like I, like this lady, I like what she's all about. I want to learn more about her. Or if they want to buy your book, where should they go to find more information about you?
Speaker 3:Oh, I would love to. I coach people to whatever I could do to help, and I'm a Mindy fan, as you know. I've said it a thousand times. Okay enough, debra. So if you want to find me and it's behind me it's thedailydecisionscom. That's my website. If you go to thedailydecisionscom and forward slash inspire, you can join my positive energy club. It's complimentary, which is a kind way of saying it's free, and you can get my newsletter and my happiness motivation worksheets and my feel good activities little things you can do to make yourself feel good. And if you want to buy my book, six steps to fewer days that suck, there's a link on my website. Or you can go to amazon. Who could forget that title? Right, and it puts a smile on people's face. So I would love to hear from you. There are buttons on my website, you can email me and I I just like to pay it forward and help people feel better, because why not?
Speaker 2:Why not? Exactly, why not? Well, I will be sure to put all of those links in the show notes here. So, people, if you didn't catch all that, you could just hopefully find the click of a button and Debra. Thank you again. So much for being on the show today.
Speaker 3:Thank you for having me and letting me inspire your guests alongside the most kind, compassionate, wonderful Mindy. Thank you, Mindy.
Speaker 2:And everybody else that's listening. I hope that this boosted your happiness level at least a little bit today with Debra and her ray of sunshine.
Speaker 1:And wherever you're at today, I hope you're enjoyed this episode. Don't forget to subscribe or, even better, leave a review and let me know what resonated with you the most. The more you tell me what you love, the better I'm able to create future episodes with even better content. I'm sending you so much love and light. I'll see you in the next episode.