Ep 128. ADHD & Task Initiation: Why “Just Start” Hasn’t Worked (And What Actually Does)

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If you’ve ever been completely stuck — frozen, paused, unable to start — this is for you.
“Just start” is common productivity advice. But for many people with ADHD, it only works once… because secretly it means finish. And your brain knows it.
In this video, I share a brain-friendly shift that helps build self-trust, flexibility, and real momentum — especially for those chronic stuck patterns that aren’t about laziness or willpower.

This approach is especially helpful for late-diagnosed women with ADHD who are tired of swinging between all-or-nothing effort and shutdown.

You don’t need more pressure or perfection- You need a strategy that actually works with your brain.

If you’re looking for more support, I offer ADHD/Executive Function coaching and occupational therapy-informed services, including group programs.

Simple Timestamps
00:00 – When you’re stuck and can’t start
00:45 – Why “just start” often fails
01:30 – The trust problem (grandpa story)
02:15 – Why your brain stops believing you
02:45 – The real strategy: start with permission to stop
03:15 – Leaving things partway done (on purpose)
03:45 – Building self-trust and flexibility
04:30 – When this won’t apply (real deadlines)
05:00 – Try this instead of all-or-nothing

Transcript

Starting Without Finishing: Trust-Building Strategy

[00:00:00] If you've ever found yourself just stuck. You can't get started. You don't know why, but it is not happening. I have a strategy for you that works, and you may have been introduced to this strategy, but only half of it. And so maybe it hasn't worked for you in the past, but if with this little tweak that is brain friendly, it can, and a lot of people find that it does work for them.

I'm not gonna go into all the reasons why task initiation, that's an executive functioning skill, can be difficult for us, but it can, right? Getting started, starting the task, whether it's because we're transitioning and that's hard, whether it's because of our attention or overwhelm or not being sure the steps, whatever it is, when it's hard to get started. It can be miserable. We just we're, we're stuck in this place of pause and freeze. One of the strategies that can be very helpful for that is allowing yourself to just start. Now that's only half of this, right? Because a lot of times this is used and kind of flipped against us and it only works once.

And the reason why it only works once is when we just start, but in our brain we're saying it's not okay [00:01:00] unless I finish this. You might kind of trick yourself into starting one time or twice, but then your brain knows you're not stupid. Your brain knows that just start actually means finished, and it's just as overwhelming as it ever was. This is a story from my grandpa. There was a man with his son, and he was trying to teach him trust and his, he said, jump, jump into my arms.

I'm gonna catch you. And the boy's like, no, I, it's way too far down. I'm gonna fall. I, you know, I can't do it. And the dad's like, no, really? I've got you. I've got this. Come on. Jump's like, ah, I don't know. I'm, you know, I'm finally the, the dad convinces his son to jump. The son jumps, the dad takes a step back.

The son like splats on the ground. And the son's like, why didn't you catch me? And his dad's like. this is to teach you not to trust anyone. that was my grandfather's joke. Whether or not you find that funny

Is a good analogy for what happens when you tell yourself, Hey, just start, and then you move the mark once you start, and then it's only okay that you finish. Right? That little boy with his dad, that wasn't gonna happen again. He, he wasn't gonna jump into his [00:02:00] dad's arms again without big pause and probably not ever.

 when you really struggle In this area and because you're struggling 'cause of overwhelm or motivation, exhaustion, whatever it is, and you really struggle in this area and you use this strategy of telling yourself, Hey, if I just start, that's all I need to do.

And then you get started and you switch that to like, actually, I need to finish for this to be okay. You may be able to start that time, maybe even another time, but you've really ruined the potency. of allowing yourself to just start.

 you know, just start means finish if that's what it actually means to you. So when I work with people on this, the most important thing, maybe even more important than starting, is leaving it partway done sometimes. Now, I know that that is counterintuitive when you're looking at productivity advice.

That would make the productivity bros cringe and they, they would never wrap their minds around that approach. But the thing about working with your brain, if it's not. Like 90 something percent of the brains is, it's gotta look different [00:03:00] sometimes. And so when we're working on just starting, we're really working on just starting with permission to stop, with permission to do things part way.

Sometimes with permission to do things average, right? Like that you don't have to do everything excellently. I know that that is once again. Against a lot of, uh, popular advice, a lot of life mottos, but when you are working with a limited budget, sometimes you're picking the things that are gonna get completed.

You are knowing that you are. You're gonna keep your word with yourself, And when you build that trust, you can build more of that reliability. You can count on yourself because you believe yourself.

 You're working on self-trust, you're working on cognitive flexibility. It is really common for us to think, well, it's gotta look this way, or it doesn't count.

I have to do it all right now. Or, why bother? It's gotta be a hundred percent, or I'm not going to even play. We want to look at being more flexible in order to be able to get things done that matter to us. We want to get strong at being flexible, [00:04:00] being self-compassionate, being creative, trusting ourselves.

These are really big things that need to strengthen. If we want to strengthen things like productivity and taking action, right? These are things that need to be in place in order for that to happen for a lot of us. Sometimes we don't have room. To be able to just start, not finish. So I get this is not gonna work for every situation, and I'm not suggesting that it does.

There are times, there's just a very real consequence, a very real deadline and you have to finish right.  a bill that needs to happen, a project that has a deadline, that's a whole different thing.

I'm talking about these kind of chronic stuck patterns that when you don't have the intensity of a deadline or a a consequence to get you going. And sometimes for people, even when you have that deadline or consequence, it doesn't matter. So that might be helpful for you in that situation.

We are helping ourselves actually be able to take action instead of staying in this stuck. Place So try it out with the intention of building flexibility, building self [00:05:00] trust, and allow, allowing it to look different if you have a DHD