5 Steps To Permanent Weight Loss

If you’ve ever lost weight only to gain it back, this episode will explain exactly why.

Permanent weight loss doesn’t come from motivation, discipline, or trying harder. It comes from following the correct sequence of change. Most people fail because they skip phases, rush the process, or rely on emotions instead of structure.

In this episode, I break down the 5-step process that creates permanent weight loss, the same framework I teach women who are done with yo-yo dieting, emotional eating, and starting over every January.

This isn’t about food rules.
 It’s about behaviour, identity, and self-trust.

You’ll Learn:

• Why motivation is unreliable, and momentum is everything
 • How setting standards removes daily decision fatigue
 • Why following your plan instead of your mood changes everything
 • How self-trust is built through consistency, not confidence
 • Why your brain only rewires after proof is created
• The exact reason weight loss finally starts to feel automatic

If you want weight loss that lasts, this episode will show you the order you must follow.

Get Kylie's exact weight loss Blueprint
Get the Bombshell Journal & Planner set
Get Kylie's Free Weight Loss Course
Follow Kylie on Instagram

BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS FOR EMOTIONAL EATERS

Transcript

What is up, you gorgeous, fabulous creatures, and welcome to a brand new week of the Losing It podcast. You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach. As always, if you are loving what you're hearing and you want to hear more, please be sure, sis, hit that subscribe button so that you make sure you can never miss an episode.

I want you to be the first to know when these episodes hit twice weekly. You want to be the first. I think I'm delirious this morning.

(0:27 - 0:35)

When these episodes hit twice a week, you want to be the first to know. You don't want to be missing out. For real, who wants to be the last to know anything here? We all want to be the first.

(0:35 - 0:43)

When the goss comes out, please tell me first. I want to be the first to know, especially if it's juicy. Now, speaking of juicy, I've definitely got a juicy episode for you today.

(0:43 - 4:18)

This is so juicy, I haven't even decided what she's going to be called yet, but I know we're definitely going to be talking about what it actually takes for you to see change this year. I've spoken to a lot of clients and while they're doing really well, they're not sort of rocketing through their 2026 and being like, this is the best year of my life. I have never felt so much momentum.

And I really want to assure you that if you have dropped into that same bucket, it's very normal. In fact, not only is it normal, it's really how it's supposed to happen. I tend to think of January as our warmup weeks.

You're just finding your feet here in this brand new year. We've all got these big messages that come to us about, you better have your goals set and you've got to have a whole plan mapped out. And where's your roadmap for massive success in 2026? And I'm like, girl, I'm still trying to figure it all out.

Please don't put any more pressure on me than I'm already putting on myself. So I want to step you through what it's going to actually take for you to see change this year, because if you think that some massive buckets of success are going to drop out of the sky and just glitter is going to fall on your head, that is not the vibe, just is not the vibe. In fact, real change is going to feel more like buckets of mud dropping on your head or something worse than mud.

I don't know. But that's what real change takes like. So I'm going to step you through the phases of change today.

I'm talking real sustainable change in your life, because there's actually five that you're going to experience if you want to see real change in 2026. The kind of change that I saw last year when I lost 18 kilos, and I did see a massive physical change, but my mindset shift, it was good. It was good.

You know, I mean, CIS made some great changes. You're not going to lose that amount of weight without making mindset changes, but it could be better. And this is my era for mindset paired heavily with future physical change.

So I'm going to step you through the plan that I've sort of scripted for myself and started to outline so that you can basically cut and paste this into your life as well. Because if you want this year to be different, and I'm talking not just physically different, like, okay, yeah, I lost some kilos, and that's great, but factually different, emotionally different, mentally more resilient, then this episode is going to be the one that matters for you. Because most people do not fail at weight loss, because they're so lazy or they're broken.

And it's not even a lack of motivation. They fail because they try to skip phases. That's what like liquid fasts are all about.

That's even potentially, listen, I am not anti the injectables. Okay, I'm not. I think the Mongeros and the things are amazing.

I think what incredible tools we have at our disposal now. So I'm not like raining on anybody's parade. If you're using those, I think that's a great accessory to your journey.

However, it's not going to change your mindset. And when we try to skip through phases, we're trying to basically build our levels of confidence, but we haven't built up the consistency yet. Or we're trying to get these massive results, but we haven't even established our standards.

It's when we're looking for the kind of proof that we want to be able to walk up to the mirror, and I just want to see my weight loss, but you haven't been consistent long enough for you to earn it. You still have to earn that shit. Because that's the only way it can work.

(4:18 - 5:00)

Real change happens in phases. Always has, always will. And today, I'm going to walk you through the exact sequence of those changes, so that you can know what real transformation looks like.

Not hype, not bullshit, not just hoping, but what the actual evidence is that you need to stack if you want to see results this year. And if you miss a phase, you're going to stall. Or if you try and rush a phase, that's what basically self-sabotage ends.

You're going to end up in the self-sabotage bucket. But if you stay in this five-part sequence, I promise you, girl, I promise you, your brain will eventually rewire whether you want it to or not. So let's get into it.

(5:01 - 9:35)

Okay, so despite popular belief, phase one is not the motivation phase where you wake up and magical fairies are dancing around your toes, and you just cannot wait to get to the gym. That's not phase one. No, no, no.

The first phase of change is actually momentum. It's not motivation. And momentum is the boring ass, repetitive shit that is wildly unsexy, but it's what you have to do on a daily basis if you want to see change.

Momentum is where change actually not only must begin, you don't have a choice about it. You don't need massive discipline in order to pull this off. And you don't even need more willpower.

You're not going to have the confidence at this point to be able to muster willpower, but you do need proof. And proof only comes when you repeat an action ad nauseum, basically, an action that you don't want to do. You start stacking proof.

So this phase is really about you finding your rhythm. And that looks like you're doing the small things consistently. You've got to do it consistently.

Enough time so that your brain starts thinking, oh, maybe she's not going to quit this time. Maybe she is serious. Maybe I do need to get on board.

It's not about you stringing a bunch of perfect weeks together with your food and your eating and going, great, this is my success streak. No, no, no, it's not all this all or nothing behavior that we always fall into the trap of. That is not what momentum is.

Momentum is you stacking really, really tall, no, not tall, small, tiny, micro, but repeatable wins. It looks like you choosing the water over the orange juice. It looks like you choosing the whatever, the Diet Coke over that 50th glass of G&T, like whatever it is for you.

That's what is going to be the micro choices because that momentum that you start building, that begins compounding faster than motivation ever will. Now, don't get it twisted. Most people quit here, even at phase one.

They'll give it a crack. You know, you give it red hot go for a couple of days, but then we quit because we are waiting to feel different before we take the action. That is back to front and upside freaking down.

That's like you're stuck in the Stranger Things movie and you're in the upside down. Is that what it was called? The upside down? I can't remember. I don't know.

Any Stranger Things fans, please just come and correct me over on Insta, but you need to act first. Action first, then momentum and believe, believe it or not, it's going to be the last thing that shows up. So if you're stuck right now, it's not because you're incapable of doing this and you can't make a choice.

And why don't I feel incredible and motivated? It's because you haven't stayed in this first phase long enough yet. Now, once you spent a wee bit of time there, you can trot on over to phase number two, which is where your standards get set. Now, this is such a critical part I found of my journey, and this is where most of us mess up.

In order for me to lose 18 kilos last year, I had to set some higher standards. Do you think your girl liked it? No, I fucking hated it. Oh, I'm promising myself I'm going to swear less.

And I have. I have sworn so much less. That is poor English, but I have sworn so much less.

And so I'm going to take my small wins. And setting standards is what it's all about. Before you can follow a plan, you need to know what your standards are because they're going to dictate your plan.

So I had to raise my standards from daily chocolate binges to, okay, I'm still going to have chocolate, but first of all, it's going to be some healthier versions of chocolate. Secondly, I'm going to start making my frigging own. That shit can be expensive.

And thirdly, when I do choose to consume it, I'm going to put some limitations on myself. I used to just eat it until it was gone. My signal for when do I finish eating chocolate and sweets and sugar was when it's gone.

Of course, like how ridiculous. So how much do you have Kylie? All of it. Like with a stupid goggle face.

Like what do you mean? How much do I have? I have it until I have to stop eating because it's gone. You're not going to rise to the level of your goals. My goal was lose weight.

Like that's been my goal every year for the last a hundred years. What are you, what are your new year's resolutions? I'm going to lose weight this year. And if I was trying to be more sort of socially conscious about it, then I would say, oh no, I'm trying to get healthy this year.

I'm going to get healthy. But I was just BSing myself. I wanted to lose weight.

That's what I fricking wanted to do. I wanted to get skinny. I wanted to fit back into my jeans.

I wanted to feel good. Listen, don't BS yourself. You want to feel good.

(9:35 - 11:22)

That's what you want. You want to get out of the pain that you're currently in, whether that's physical or emotional. For me, it was probably a wee bit of both.

You want to get out of the pain that you're in and you want to feel better. And my mind linked that to weight loss because that was the most obvious place for me to start. But you're not going to rise to the level of your goals.

You will always fall to the level of your standards. Goals are wishes. They're things you would like to happen.

They're sort of a woo-woo thing that you put out there into the atmosphere and be like, this is my goal for the year. But unless you set standards that align with that goal, then that is never going to happen. So your goal is what you would like, but your standards are the rules on how you're going to achieve the thing that you would like.

A goal says, yeah, I want to lose some weight. 2006 my year, I'm going to lose some weight. But your standards say, and in order to do that thing, I will not emotionally eat anymore.

I'm going to follow Kylie's four eating codes. I'm going to get her free course. I'm going to start there, KyliePax.com forward slash free course, and I will not emotionally eat anymore.

A goal is open to negotiation. Maybe I'll do it. Maybe I won't.

Depends on the circumstances. Depends what excuses I can pull out of my buttocks today. But a standard does not negotiate.

How can I know this so crystal clear? Because we have standards, whether you realize it or not. I am not going to go out and rob a bank tomorrow because that is way below my standards. I will not do such a thing ever in my life.

That's how rock solid it is. I also would not shoot up drugs. I also don't even drink.

And there's no shade on people who drink alcohol. I'm just saying this is a standard that I have. I don't do it.

However, I would go buy blocks of chocolate after I've told myself I'm not going to and stuff my face like a rabid squirrel. I would do that, even though I've said I wouldn't. So my standards are not solid yet in that area.

(11:22 - 13:43)

So remember, goals, your brain will always try and negotiate on. But standards, they're simply non-negotiable. Standards remove decision fatigue.

They answer questions in advance so that you're not arguing with yourself all day. Should I eat this or should I not? I don't know, maybe I should have a little bit more. Maybe I shouldn't.

Kylie said stop eating at 80% full. Set your freaking standards. What are you willing to tolerate? What behaviors are no longer going to be an option for you? And where is your baseline even going to be? This is something I talk about all the time inside of the blueprint is set your freaking baseline, people.

And just in case you're not sure what a baseline is, it's the standard that you simply will not go below. So for instance, you might commit and say, I am not going to emotionally eat anymore. I am so tired of this shit.

It keeps me stuck. I feel horrible. Like it's just not working for me or in my life.

But then there will be times when life is lifing and things happen and anything that could go wrong has. And you might decide, you know what, I just literally cannot even handle it today. I need to order pizza.

It's not what I had planned to eat, but I feel like I need it. And let's, okay, so let's play out the scenario. You order pizza, but maybe instead of eating the entire thing, you only have three pieces.

And now you have some small salad or veggies with it. Your baseline is telling you, okay, there will be times when I will sink a little, but I'm not going all the way back to where I was. That is what a baseline is.

And it sets standards that are so clear that now your discipline rises and becomes easier and easier for you to carry out because you're not reinventing yourself every single day. And this is what's most important. Standards only work when they are doable.

So please don't try and set standards that are aspirational, but unattainable. You don't want standards that are built for some fantasy version of you that life is perfection and you're living in a Disney movie. How can you ever carry those out? Build standards that fit the version of you who still gets tired.

She still gets emotional and stressed. She's human. Gorgeous.

Yes. Fabulous. Yes.

Dynamic. I mean, obviously, but still human. So this second phase is really about you choosing standards that you know you can rely on, not standards that you're going to abandon the first time any pressure is applied to your life.

(13:43 - 15:22)

Now, the third phase is, of course, one of my little babies, one of my little eating codes, you're going to follow your plan, not your mood. Once those standards exist, now you can create a structure that supports them. And if you are an emotional eater or a chronic dieter, or you're just inconsistent in any part of your life, this is where you're going to fall apart.

If it's going to be anywhere, it's going to be here because this is where you let your mood run your day. Anybody can stay on track on a day that they're feeling good. It's ridiculous.

Let me give you a prime example. Yesterday, the sun was shining. It was like 33 degrees.

Your girl was in her element. I mean, sis was there doing the steps and feeling amazing and wearing my little summer cutie outfits. Self tan was going on.

I had my full makeup glam going with my hair. I was unstoppable. We all wake up today here in South Australia.

I mean, there is not a ray of sunshine to be seen. The sky is completely cloudy. The temperature has dropped like 15 degrees.

I'm freezing. I have got a little heated Nana blanket on my knees and I don't want to do anything. I just want to go and eat chocolate.

That's what I want. I'm so mad because I'm like, it is summer and I'm getting ripped off. I cannot follow my mood today or I won't get anything done.

I won't feel good and I'll probably gain 15 kilos. I need to stick to my plan. And the only way I'll have a plan is by setting those standards and then implementing a plan around them.

Your mood is a terrible leader. Do not follow it. I mean, how far has it got you so far in life? Are you excelling? Are you exactly where you want to be? Are you living your fantasy dream Disney life? I don't think so.

(15:22 - 16:11)

Our mood changes with sleep and stress and hormones. Oh girl, don't talk to me about the hormones. Weather, things that inconvenience us, all of it affects your mood.

And so if your life, if you're going to continue to run your life this year by your mood, then your consistency, your levels of consistency are going to remain wildly fragile. So this third phase about following your plan and not your mood is about deciding in advance. You have the decisions made, the plan is already in place and then all you need to do is execute regardless of your emotion.

Because the plan is now your authority and any feelings that you have, they're just background noise. That's it. They're nothing.

Now, I do just want to stipulate that this doesn't mean you suppress your emotions. We're not eating them away. It just means your feelings don't get to vote.

(16:12 - 21:39)

Structure, let this structure that you create do the heavy lifting for you. That way you don't have to rely on willpower. You're relying on systems.

And when that system and that structure is strong, then discipline stops feeling like punishment. And it starts feeling like I'm just going to say relief because everything now is under control. Now phase four, okay, come on girl, you know this one is where we are all falling apart like sad broken cookie crumbs at the bottom of the barrel, the bottom of the cookie barrel.

And you just see those sad little crumbs down there and just think what a waste. Well, that could have been a fabulous little cookie, but now they're just crumbs and you just throw them out. You throw them out because they're trash.

Well, this is what happens in stage four. We need to build self-trust. This is where things are going to finally start to shift internally for you.

That self-trust that we are all lacking so badly, it's not going to be built through you reciting affirmations and, you know, doing like Hare Krishna dances around your lounge room. And again, again, no shade, I saw some Hare Krishna's just the other day. They were fabulous.

You're going to build self-trust by following through on your mood. Now, every time you do what you said you would do, you're making a deposit in your self-trust bank account. And, and that sounds great, doesn't it? Like let's all get on with that.

Yay! Clapping and emojis. But let's not get it twisted because every time you break a promise to yourself, you're making a withdrawal. That's why the internal scream from your bank account is deafening right now.

You have over withdrawn on your emotional bank account and now you are in some emotionally financial trouble. Have you ever overdrawn on your physical bank account and then after a certain amount of time, if you don't fix that up, the bank starts sending you nasty letters? Because I have. Your sister's been there more than once.

You need to make a deposit or else there will be consequences. Well, this is where phase four kicks in. Most people have really low confidence and it's not because they're incapable.

It's purely because they've trained themselves not to trust themselves. How? How would you train yourself not to trust yourself? By breaking your own word over and over and over again. You think nobody's watching? You're watching.

Your brain is watching. Where do you think you learn what kind of person you are? By the way you act in front of yourself. So in this phase, this is where your confidence stops being something that you're trying to chase externally and it starts being something that you actually create and earn yourself through your actions.

You're not going to feel confident before you can take the action. You need to become reliable to yourself so you can start feeling confident and that reliability is that's what's going to create the confidence. It's just a byproduct of you being a woman of her word.

Keep your word to yourself. This is where your identity will really start to change. You're going to start seeing yourself now as somebody who follows through because she keeps her standards.

She doesn't negotiate with excuses and once that identity starts forming, then the behaviors become easier and easier to sustain. Okay, so let's bring it on home. Phase number five is the rewiring and this is the one that everybody wants to start with and I mean it's not bad.

We're talking about mindset and belief and identity but rewiring, the rewiring that we need in order to succeed this year, it's not going to happen just through you thinking different thoughts. It happens through evidence and the only way your brain is really going to get that and to be able to absorb that is based on your repeated proof. Not one day, not a couple of days, not stringing three days together in a row.

It's repeated month after month, year after year and when you've stacked that momentum and held those standards for an extended period of time, followed your structure, kept your promise to yourself long enough, then your brain, then your brain has no choice but to get on board and adapt and this is the place where things start to feel automatic. Like I said, I would never go now and binge on 15 blocks of chocolate. I might still overeat on a few rows but I'm not going to binge on entire blocks after block after block.

Like that's not who I am anymore because my brain has seen the repeated proof. It's where the cravings that you had previously and they were uncontrollable in your life, they start to quieten down and those new behaviors that you were trying so hard to adapt initially, they start feeling a little more normal, a little more you and it's not because you kind of forced it or enforced it, you earned it. This is where you hear those people start saying, I'm not even the same person anymore.

I don't feel like the same person anymore. It's not magic. They followed the sequence.

So sis, if this is like your umpteenth year in a row that you're feeling still stuck and you had made these promises to yourself and you had really high hopes, I want you to hear this very, very clearly. You don't need more motivation. You certainly don't need another reset or some kind of do-over.

What you actually need is to start and then stay in the process long enough for your brain to get on board and start believing you. The change that we all want to see this year, it's not a one-time decision. It's a sequence that you follow and respect and refuse to give up on and if you follow the phases of this sequence in the order that I gave them to you, I promise you, I promise you, I promise you, change this year will be completely inevitable.

It's not going to be fast and I wish I could promise you it wouldn't be flashy but it's just not. What I can promise you is that it will be permanent. Thank you so much for tuning in.

(21:39 - 21:56)

Remember to shimmy your bar over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your way without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.