Quit Already? Here’s How I’m Creating Unstoppable Momentum This Year

If you keep starting strong with weight loss and then slipping back into emotional eating, binge cycles, or self-sabotage, this episode is for you.

In this raw and honest episode, I break down exactly how I lost 18kg in six months. Not through restriction, willpower, or motivation, but by changing my identity first.

I share why most women fail at weight loss even when they “know what to do,” why emotional eating is not a food problem, and how identity-based weight loss creates unstoppable momentum without white-knuckling or burnout.

If you’re tired of restarting every Monday, fighting yourself around food, and feeling like weight loss is always harder for you than everyone else, this episode will change how you see the problem and yourself.

IN THIS EPISODE:
• How I lost 18kg in six months without restriction
• Why trying harder never worked for me
• What identity-based weight loss actually looks like in real life
• Why binge eating was never about food
• How I stopped emotional eating without relying on willpower
• The mindset shift that ended all-or-nothing cycles
• How I handle cravings without spiralling
• Why changing your identity feels uncomfortable and scary
• What to expect emotionally when you stop using food to cope
• How I built momentum one decision at a time

Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss upcoming episodes on identity, standards, emotional regulation, and permanent weight loss.

BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS FOR EMOTIONAL EATERS

Transcript

What is up, you gorgeous, fabulous creatures, and welcome to another week inside of the Losing It podcast. You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's emotional eating coach. And as always, if you're loving what you're hearing and you want to hear more, well then girl, you better flick your little fingers across the screen.

Be sure to hit subscribe so you can be the first to know when a new episode drops. They are dropping multiple times a week and you can't tell me that you don't want the sneaky little advantage of everybody else this year. Yeah, I know I do.

(0:24 - 3:44)

And that's exactly what today's podcast episode is about because I know that we have hit the date, the magical day on the calendar when everybody started so motivated at the beginning of the year and now they're all like, this sucks. This isn't what I thought it was going to be. So today's episode is for the women who started the year so strong, so much positivity.

This is my year. It's going to be amazing. And then quietly or maybe not so quietly started slipping.

You didn't exactly quit like none of us are quitters, but you're not really proud of what you have achieved so far either. So if that's you, then listen closely, sis, because I'm about to share the exact reason and exactly how I lost 18 kilos in six months last year and, and, because it's very exciting. I do talk about it quite a bit, but this is also why most women never do.

And let me give you the spoiler alert straight up. You know, you know me, come on. It's got nothing to do with the food.

It was all about who I believed I was while I was dealing with the food. So if I had to summarize it in one sentence or somebody, you know, when people walk up to you on the street and maybe they haven't seen you in a while, they're like, Oh my gosh, you lost some weight. And of course the first question out of their lips is what did you do? How did you do it? I would probably start saying to people now, Oh, I just became delusional AF.

I was delusional as and not delusional, like ignoring reality. I mean, delusional as in deciding who I was going to be before my body even had a thought process about it. So this is what it looked like every single morning I would wake up and I would act like the version of me who was already at my goal weight and fit and healthy and trim and slim and freaking fabulous long before, way before that was even a in the distance that I could virtually see or imagine.

I wasn't hoping that this would happen to me and I'm not talking about manifesting. And listen, I mean, I'm all about it. If you want to get out your Pinterest board and make your manifestation vision board for the, it's fantastic.

But I started acting. I started doing the thing. So I created her in my head.

I didn't actually give her a name or anything like that. You know, how Beyonce has her Sasha Fierce persona. Well, I'm just, I mean, I'm just, I'm Kylie, but I decided to be freaking amazing Kylie instead of lame-ass Kylie.

I don't know. Like I feel sorry for that lame-ass Kylie. I don't know where she is anymore.

She's somewhere like in the dust, left her behind because freaking amazing Kylie, she's the one who showed up every day and she's the one who decided how I was going to eat, move, think, respond to things. So I showed up as her every day. Listen, freaking amazing Kylie isn't perfect, but she moves and makes decisions deliberately with a very clear end goal in mind.

Now, if you're listening today and you've been on a diet for more than 30 days in your entire life, I'm not saying recently, allow me to please point out to you why you have not succeeded in the past. Most of us try and change our behavior without changing our identity. We join a 30-day challenge.

We sign up for a 90-day SlimFast thing or whatever. We tell ourselves, I need to stop binge eating, or I need to lose weight, or I need to be consistent. And listen, you can know what you need to do all day long, but right now you've kept the escape hatch open.

(3:44 - 4:03)

When you have a strong AF identity shift, there's no escape hatch. There's no option B for you. The woman that I was becoming did not binge anymore.

She didn't flake out on herself. She didn't backpedal once she made a decision. So in that case, binge eating became much easier to stop.

(4:03 - 5:36)

Not magically easy to stop, but much easier to stop because it wasn't something that I was constantly fighting. It was just completely irrelevant to the person that I decided I now was. Freaking amazing Kylie didn't eat just because food was there, or she didn't eat because of FOMO, or she didn't overeat because it tastes so good.

Freaking amazing Kylie, she stopped eating at 80% full. Like my eating code say, eating code number one, you eat when you're hungry. You don't eat when you're not.

Eating code number two, when you do eat, you stop eating at 80% full. The third eating code is of course, follow your plan and not your mood. You got to make a plan every day.

You're all wafting around out there thinking you're going to make healthy choices. I mean, that's good and fine at 7am. I'm happy to eat some fruit salad at seven in the morning, but you think I want lettuce leaves at eight o'clock at night when I'm freaking starving? No, thank you.

You're not going to be standing in your power at eight o'clock at night after you've had a really shitty day at the office and the kids are running around like they're on a Jerry Springer show. It's just not going to happen. So I decided that, I don't know where this new name for my persona has come from, freaking amazing Kylie.

She could easily exhibit discipline, not because she had to muster it up when she was tired. It's just simply who she was. Okay.

So let's talk a little now about how to actually do it, because it's all good and fine for me to tell you the little roadmap and the steps that I took, but I want you to be able to do it too. So I want to be very, very clear. First off, I'm a huge fan of affirmations, but affirmations do not change your identity.

There's only one way to change your identity. You have to start stacking receipts. Your identity will only change through evidence.

(5:36 - 5:55)

When your brain has a backlog of evidence that proves that you are who you say you are, now your identity is starting to become solid. Your brain updates its self-image based on what you do most often. So what you are repeatedly doing is proving to yourself who you are.

(5:56 - 6:58)

Every time you stop eating at 80% full, you don't stuff your face like a rabid squirrel, you're proving who you are. Every time that you don't binge eat when you could have, you are proving to your brain who you are. And every single time you choose to eat differently, instead of doing the Uber Eats, you're going to eat the salad or the stir fry that you'd already meal prepped at home.

You are showing your brain who you are. Your brain can literally sit back now and just be like, oh wow, so this is who we are. Okay.

Your identity is built through evidence. It's built through receipts. I'm talking the really small, boring, unsexy daily actions that you think don't matter.

Or what does it matter if I just have another spoon of ice cream? What does it matter if I have another glass of wine? That is the exact shit that is crumbling your wall of identity. Every time you lay another brick on there, you then turn around and rip it straight back down before the mortar even has a chance to get solid. It's the tiny, small, boring, unsexy daily decisions that are actually the most powerful ones in your journey.

(6:58 - 7:32)

Now, you know, we're here to talk about emotional eating. It's an emotional eating podcast. This is what, this is my theme.

This is my vibe. It's what I'm all about. And one of the biggest problems we face when it comes to emotional eating is temptation.

I'm so tempted to eat that right now. I don't think I can resist eating that right now. This is where most of us cave.

It's when cravings kick in or we've had a really emotional day. Suddenly, feelings that you might have been able to deal with at a very calm level and pace previously feel wildly urgent. And so I want to share this little hack with you because this is something that I learned at some point last year.

(7:32 - 13:12)

I can't remember, but I started implementing it and found it incredibly helpful. So what it is, is I use my shopping mall brain. You know, when you go walking through the shopping center and you pass hundreds of stores in the mall, there's a whole ton of them there and you might be there to get a lipstick.

So you don't need to enter every single store. You don't need to look at the Zara store and argue with the clothes that are hanging in the store, whether you should go in and try them all on. It doesn't matter.

You're not there for clothes. You're there for a lipstick. So why are you arguing and debating in stores that you've got no business even being in? Food is the same.

You can see it. You can notice it, but you don't need to enter the store. There doesn't need to be negotiation.

You don't need to start hating on yourself or collapsing into a corner and rocking yourself with your knees up to your chin. That's not how it needs to be. Decide like a woman who already knows who she is and then carry out that action.

Now, I do just want to touch on something really briefly because it's something that I don't hear anybody else talk about. It's more the stages of loss. You know, if you've ever lost somebody that you love in your life, whether they physically left the planet or whether you had a broken relationship, and very often they'll talk about the stages of grief.

Well, changing your identity can feel a little like that. And it's where a lot of us get blindsided. When I talk about changing your identity, you're not just going to be losing weight.

You're actually going to be losing the version of yourself that you relied on. That binge-eating version of you, she was soothing certain components and parts of you and certain parts of your personality. Or I'll start again on Monday version of you.

She was protecting you from potential failure. So, I just want to make it very, very clear that as you start to change, it's not going to feel comfortable. It may be a little exciting at first, but one, two, three weeks in, you're going to start noticing that your nervous system has panicked a little.

And you'll know this because you feel uncomfortable and almost like disconnected. Actually, you feel fake is what you feel. You know, when people talk about fake it till you make it, well, that's actually a really hard thing to do.

Sometimes clients will say to me, I just don't feel like myself. This doesn't feel like it's me. And of course, it doesn't feel like it's you.

It shouldn't feel like it's you. It doesn't mean that you're doing it wrong. It means exactly the opposite.

You're doing it correctly because you're transitioning. So, let's normalise this so that you can stop self-sabotaging. First of all, be very clear, your brain is going to fight you.

It's going to tell you little fairy tales like this isn't sustainable. This is just too extreme or of course, everybody's favourite one. You've never been successful at this before.

Of course, you're going to fail. Don't even try. That is not your brain pre-empting the future.

That's not your intuition. That is your old identity trying not to drown. Secondly, expect your emotions to surface.

Of course, that's very natural. When you are no longer using food to numb out, well, what's left? The only thing that's left is the feelings that you were using food to numb in the first place. It could be boredom.

It could be things that are relatively benign, boredom, loneliness, but it can be more severe emotions like anger or grief. This is where most women binge. But again, it's not from hunger.

It's because there are emotions now coming to the surface that they have not had to face in years. And thirdly, don't be surprised if there's a part of you that's going to miss the old you. You know, the old you that would like go out and overeat with friends or drink way more than you needed to with besties or whatever that looks like.

There's a part of you that thought that was fun. Otherwise, you wouldn't have kept doing it. There was a part of you that thought this is the most fun I've ever had.

Now, missing her doesn't mean you should go back. It means you're shedding that skin and you are now becoming, well, freaking amazing Kylie. So instead of asking yourself, can I do this? This doesn't feel comfortable.

I don't like it. Why don't you try flipping that script and asking yourself, you know what? What would this freaking amazing version of me do in the next hour? What is the choice you would make out of either moving her body for 15 minutes or sitting down and eating a tub of ice cream? What choice would freaking amazing version of me do? I want you to tackle this one meal, one decision, one tiny little response at a time. Do not get all up in your own grill and start arguing with cravings.

That's not what freaking amazing you would do. She's not arguing with nobody about nothing because she knows who she is. She knows who she is.

She knows what she's here to achieve. And she does not waste time with annoying little cravings that are trying to take her off her path. And, and when you mess up, because of course you will, freaking amazing you, she's not going to spiral as if she's going to put time and energy into that.

I don't think so. She's like, not me, not anymore. I am going to give a new response to this crappy old behavior.

And that one sentence is going to keep your momentum alive. Thank you so much for joining me here today. And as always, if you loved what you're hearing and you want to hear more, please remember to hit that subscribe button.

I'm so grateful for all the new listeners that have been joining us each week. It is an absolute delight, honey, to have you here. And if you are ready to actually become her, instead of fantasizing about her and dreaming about her and working towards it for a few days, but then giving up, then babe, that is exactly what we do inside the bombshell blueprint.

Well, we don't give up inside the bombshell blueprint. It's the opposite of what we do. This is where emotional eating comes to die.

And it's your identity is going to shift permanently because this is where I show you exactly how to change the mindset that created that entire problem to start with. Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your bar over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now.

You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.