The Ultimate Weight Loss Plan For Women Who Are Exhausted

If you’re a woman over 40 who feels completely exhausted by life and dieting, this episode will change the way you approach weight loss.

After decades of raising families, supporting partners, building careers, and managing households, many women simply don’t have the energy to follow complicated diet plans anymore.

The problem isn’t willpower.

It’s decision fatigue.

In this episode, Kylie Pax explains why traditional weight loss advice fails tired women and shares a fail-proof structure designed specifically for women over 40 who want simple, sustainable results.

You’ll learn how to remove decision fatigue, stop relying on motivation, and create a structure that works even on your lowest-energy days.

You'll learn:

• Why women over 40 struggle to stick to diets
• How decision fatigue leads to emotional eating
• Why motivation is the worst weight loss strategy
• The simple structure that eliminates food decisions
• How to follow your plan even when you feel exhausted
• The key to rebuilding self-trust around food

BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS FOR EMOTIONAL EATERS

Transcript

If you're a woman over 40 and you feel exhausted just thinking about losing weight again, then this episode is for you. Most weight loss advice out there assumes that we have unlimited energy, unlimited motivation, unlimited time, but let's be so for real, most women my age are exhausted. We have raised kids, supported husbands, partners, built careers, we've held families together, everybody else got the best of us and now we're being told that we have to wake up at 5am and track every calorie and meal prep like a bodybuilder and somehow summon the motivation that we simply don't have if we want to lose weight.

It's no wonder we keep regaining the same 10, 20, 30 kilos year after year after year. It's not because we're weak, it's because the system that we're trying to follow was never built for exhausted women. So today I'm going to share with you a fail-proof system for women who are exhausted, burnt out, over 40 and are tired of trying to shed weight year after year after year.

What is up you gorgeous, fabulous creatures and welcome to another week of the Losing It podcast. You're here with Kylie Pax, Australia's Emotional Eating Coach and I am so excited to be here with you today because we are talking about something that I can so relate to. I can relate to this topic today so much it actually hurts from the inside out.

We're talking about why women over 40 continue to struggle with their weight year after year after year and I promise you it's not because we're lazy, it's not because we're hormonal and it's not because chocolate is just too delicious to resist, it's because we are tired. So before we dive in today I want to ask you to take a moment to please remember and hit subscribe or leave a review for this podcast. I would be ever so grateful because that is exactly what helps this podcast reach more and more women.

Now let's start today by looking at what the typical diet advice out there requires. It asks us to basically track every calorie whether you want to use your app or stick to some complicated macro system, make sure you get your daily movement in, do a perfect workout and lock yourself into constant decision making for the next six weeks while you do your shred. But honey when you're exhausted like I am now in my mid-50s your brain is naturally going to seek relief not discipline and I want you to remember this little quote.

Us exhausted women who are in our 40s, 50s and beyond, we're not failing diets, we are abandoning in droves these complicated systems. So before I share with you today my simple five step system for overcoming this, let's talk about the real culprit here which is decision fatigue. If you are listening to this podcast today and you are over 40 or you know somebody who is over 40 and a female, please send this to them because us women over 40 have been making decisions for decades.

We have to decide every single day what to cook, what the children need, the family schedules, work responsibilities, household logistics and by the evening our brain looks like a fried egg that has been left on the pan for way too long. Then we've still got to ask ourselves okay well now what should I eat and how many calories are left for me today and what is the workout and did I get it done and when should I train, what was the optimum window. Your brain is saying I cannot deal with one more decision.

So of course it makes sense that we just go ahead and eat whatever is the easiest, quickest and fastest way to happy town. They can tell us that weight gain after 40 is menopausal and hormonal and yes that does play a part but I promise you 99% of our weight gain comes down to this simple fact of decision fatigue. Now let's talk a little about why motivation is the worst strategy you can rely on and if you've ever told yourself I'm going to start again next Monday, this is going to resonate for you really well.

Every Monday we jump out of bed, we're all excited and tell ourselves I'm so motivated but by Thursday we are not motivated, we are exhausted and we are starting to drift away from whatever fancy diet we decided we were going to do that week and then of course by Saturday or Sunday at the latest we're telling ourselves I'm going to start again on Monday. Motivation will work for a few days and that's all it's designed to work for. It's a quick stopgap to get you out of a spooky predicament fast but a diet, a weight loss program, you getting healthy that's not going to be a fast process that's something that's going to need to go on for an indefinite period of time depending on how long you've been struggling with your weight.

For some of us that could be years so therefore we need a structure that's going to work for years. Motivation that will get you through a few days but we need a structure that works for a lifetime. So let's talk a little about a fail proof system that is going to work for women who are tired.

Now the system that I'm going to share with you today removes all the complicated rules, it removes constant decision making and it removes emotional negotiation because if you're an emotional eater like me that has always been your biggest downfall. I used to do so good all day and I would be extremely proud of myself for doing quote unquote good all day but when I got home at eight, nine, even ten o'clock at night I would bust out the chocolate and I would eat it until I was either a sick or b it was all gone and I couldn't get anymore. Now a lot of you know that I lost 18 kilos last year and that was fantastic but I gained six of them back this year because I couldn't work with the structure anymore.

I needed a system that works when I'm happy and when I'm sad. I needed a system that works when I'm depressed. I need a system that works when I'm anxious.

I need a system that works on the days I feel good and the days I don't and I hadn't fully developed that yet. So this year I've gone back to the drawing board and I've decided that first step that we need if we are going to come up with a system that works for women who are tired, exhausted and overworked is that we need a system whereby we can decide once and get the results. We do not have to make constant decisions every single day.

Women over 40 have enough decisions to make in their lives. We cannot be adding any more food decisions to the equation. So this is what we're going to do.

(5:51 - 8:37)

You're going to decide what your meals are once per week. Now let me be clear when I say that. That doesn't mean you meal prep once per week.

What I mean is you make a decision once per week. A really simple structure. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and you repeat those simple meals until the next week.

That immediately removes decision fatigue. So for instance I have lately been making a batch of kimchi soup. It's something that my partner Phil taught me to make because he's Korean and he does it the traditional Korean way.

I kind of do a little more Aussie way. But we do it. I like it.

It works for me and I will eat that soup for dinner every night for five to seven nights unless we go out somewhere or I'm meeting with friends. That's basically what I know I'm going to be having for dinner. Decision made.

I don't have to give that any more thought. Now statistically most of us eat the same breakfast and lunch every day unless we are eating out or doing something different. So now with one simple decision I've got my breakfast, lunch and dinner entirely under control.

All I need to decide now is what snacks do I want for the day. I also lock that in. I'm going to have a roll of chocolate every night because I'm a bit of a sweet tooth.

If I'm not having that I might have a portion of chips or whatever it is that I want. But I'm going to be having a snack every day. That's me.

That's my emotional eating kryptonite. I have to feel like I'm having a quote-unquote treat. Even though you know I say treats are for dogs.

Still I feel like I have to have a treat or something nice and pleasurable every single day. So I'm locking it into my structure. It's a non-negotiable for me.

Whatever diet or eating plan you're choosing to follow it should not require daily creativity. You just cannot give that when you're exhausted. Second thing you're going to do is you're going to eliminate the decisions around when should I be eating and how much should I be eating.

This is where my first two eating codes I just combine them together and I only eat when I'm hungry. And when I do I stop eating at 80 percent full. There's your magic weight loss code straight up.

I want you to think especially if you've got kids or little ones or you're in the office workplace. How many times a day especially with children who leave their leftover chicken nuggets and you don't want to waste food. So you just throw in a nugget or two.

Then somebody brings home some fresh bread maybe I'll just have a piece of that. Now you're going ahead and making dinner for the family. Well I better just taste it make sure it's okay.

So there's seven spoonfuls of that are going down your gullet. Now you're jumping on the scale at the end of the week and you're wondering why you're two four five kilos heavier. Why are you surprised? You're eating outside of hunger and then when you do eat you are not stopping at 80 percent full.

You're stopping when you need to stretch your pants. Some simple rules like only eating when you're hungry and stopping eating at 80 percent full will beat any complicated diet that's out there on the market. These two powerful codes immediately remove any need for calorie counting tracking apps or any kind of obsessive thinking.

(8:37 - 11:56)

And that frees up a whole lot of brain and emotional space. The third thing you're going to do is once you've made this fancy ass plan. Sis you've got to follow it.

You're going to follow your plan and not your mood. And this is your signature message for the week. Your mood will change on the drop of a dime.

But structure, system, decisions they are no longer going to be changing. You don't wake up in the morning and then ask yourself do I feel like sticking to my plan today? How do I feel? What do I feel like eating? Nah nah nah nah nah. That has never led you to success in the past.

Not going to suddenly start leading you to success now. We're not doing that anymore. You're going to follow your plan because it's already decided.

Your future self doesn't care what mood you're in today. She just needs you to execute on the decisions so that she can come to life. The fourth thing you're going to do is you're going to build a low energy version of your plan.

Now this is powerful. You need a plan that works on your good days and your bad days. So for example I suffer from debilitating depression and anxiety.

I've shared this before. Yes I take the appropriate medication. It's fantastic.

But it doesn't work all the time. It doesn't mean I'm in happy town every single day 24 hours a day. No I wish.

These first few months of the year have been extremely hard and difficult for me and my plan didn't work on bad days. It only worked on good days which meant I fell off the cliff earlier this year. You have to make sure that if your full plan looks like walking 45 minutes a day, getting in 10,000 steps, lifting to failure at the gym and eating carrot sticks every second of the day, then your low energy plan might look like walking five or ten minutes a day and giving yourself a facial.

If your full plan looks like some amazing meal prep situation that you spent all weekend doing, then your low energy plan might look like some basic protein and veggies or a lean cuisine if that's all you can manage to bring out the freezer. It doesn't matter. The progress still continues.

Your system has to work when you're energized, when you're feeling high vibe and when you're tired. Otherwise you don't have a system at all. You have a fantasy.

Now the fifth and final step and this will be the hardest of all of them but it is the most important of all of them is to remove the negotiation. Staying consistent is challenging at any age but when you are over 40, exhausted, tired and overworked, then negotiating with your standards will become your biggest enemy. What does that look like? It looks like you to-ing and fro-ing with the pizza, the chocolate cake, the ice cream and then deciding I'll start tomorrow.

I deserve a treat. I've had a hard day and I'm telling you now the moment those negotiations begin in your mind, your plan has already collapsed into rubble. We need a structure and a system that is no longer going to allow those holes to crack.

So when I talk about follow your plan and not your mood, even if that's at 20%, it's better than zero, better than a binge, better than starting again next Monday when you've gained four, five, six kilos. Ladies I am telling you as a woman who has spent the better part of 40 years struggling with food, my self-image, my mental and emotional health, I'm telling you the real problem, I thought the culprit was chocolate and cake and pizza and cookies and ice cream. I thought they were the problem but it never was.

The real problem was self-trust. As women we can lose weight, the drop of a hat, give me a diet, send me off to Jenny Craig, any clown can lose weight. It's keeping it off that's the hard part and the reason we struggle with that is because we leave the trusty ground of the system that we were following.

(11:56 - 14:30)

We basically lose trust in ourselves so now we're falling into years and years of the same pattern, starting over, breaking promises, giving up, starting again. But the self-trust will only return when you follow a simple structure that you feel good about, that works on your good days and your bad days and doesn't emotionally drain you. Listen I know that our self-confidence has taken a hit after this many years of struggling with our weight, our self-image, the bathroom scales, but I promise you it can be rebuilt when you start keeping promises to yourself again.

So let's recap. If you're a female, you're over 40, you're listening to this podcast today, here's the steps we're going to take. Firstly you're going to stop this incessant breaking of promises, deciding you're going to do it and then breaking the promise the next.

You make a decision once, not every day, one time every week, what you're going to be eating and roll that meal structure out so that you immediately eliminate the daily decision fatigue associated with food. The second thing you're going to do is you're going to only eat when you're hungry and when you do it you're going to stop eating at 80% full. That step right there I promise you is going to save you hundreds of calories a week without you having to even think about it.

The third thing you're going to do is you're going to make that plan, you're going to follow your plan and not your mood. How you feel about it is now irrelevant, it's a moot point, we don't care, we don't give a You're following the plan, not your mood, that's how execution happens. The fourth thing you're going to do is you're going to have a pivot plan, you're going to build a plan that accommodates for the low version energy of you.

The one who's tired, the one who's exhausted, the one who's depressed, she needs a plan too. Don't berate her when she shows up because she will. Make sure your plan accommodates her also.

And the fifth and final thing you're going to do is remove negotiation. There's no need for you to be negotiating with your plan when it works for every version of you. Remember, your plan needs to work on your good days and your bad.

That is what is going to rebuild the self-trust that we are so sorely lacking now. So my loves, if you're over 40 and exhausted, I really want you to hear this, you don't need more motivation. You don't need another complicated diet and you definitely do not need to punish yourself or try and push through because you're tired.

What you need is a structure and a system that works for every version of you. Something simple that's easy enough for you to follow when life is busy and when it's chill. Something steady enough to carry you on the days that your energy is low because the woman who finally loses weight and keeps it off, she's not going to be the most motivated version of you.

(14:30 - 14:46)

She's going to be the version of you who stops negotiating with herself, locks in a structure and starts following through. Thank you so much for joining me here today. And again, if you know a woman who's exhausted from starting over every Monday, please send her this episode because I promise you, the only person who has the power to change your life is you.

(14:47 - 15:22)

When you step up and realize that the version of you you want to be is rarely going to show up without a plan and the follow through to back it up, that is truly when you've got what it takes. I'm sending you tremendous amounts of love. I can't wait to see you again next week.

And until then gorgeous ones, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your way now.

You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity. I will see you next week.