Why Smart Women Still Overeat

Most women think weight loss is about willpower, but SURPRISE!! It’s not. The real problem is the way you think about food, emotions, and your own behaviour.

In this episode, taken from a live call inside The Bombshell Blueprint, Kylie breaks down several hidden ways women sabotage their own progress without even realising it. These patterns quietly make weight loss harder, trigger emotional eating, and keep you stuck in the same cycle year after year.

You’ll also hear the single question Kylie asks herself every day that instantly stops overeating and helps her stay aligned with the life and body she wants.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” but still can’t stay consistent, this episode will show you exactly where the real problem is hiding.

You’ll learn:

• Why negative self-talk fuels emotional eating and keeps you stuck in the guilt cycle
• The reason most diets fail and why it was never your fault
• The daily decision filter Kylie uses to stop overeating instantly
• Why emotional eating is really about avoiding feelings, not hunger
• The truth about emotions lasting only 90 seconds in the body
• Why unrealistic expectations cause binge cycles
• How the all-or-nothing mindset destroys consistency
• Why your system matters more than willpower

If this episode resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it or hit subscribe and leave a review to make sure you never miss an update.

BOMBSHELL BLUEPRINT WEIGHT LOSS FOR EMOTIONAL EATERS

Transcript

This is the biggest way that I stop myself from, I swear to you, if I could give you one massive takeaway from today, see I'm getting in really close now, if I could give you one massive takeaway, use this tactic. I use it all the time, every day and it stops me from overeating. Today's episode is taken from a live call inside of my signature program, The Bombshell Blueprint.

If you want to know more about the blueprint or how once you get your little myths on it, you can finally stop sabotaging your progress and start losing weight, just head on over to Kyliepacks.com forward slash blueprint or hit the link in the show notes. But the fifth way that you're making your weight loss harder, and I feel like this is, I probably should have even started with this one because it's, we all do it, it's so common, is negative self-talk. Oh, negative self-talk sister.

(0:45 - 5:55)

The constant criticism and guilt that we put ourselves through over certain food choices just creates a negative emotional spiral, which pretty much always, always ends up leading to emotional eating or more emotional eating. And we just use that as a coping mechanism. So that's one of the ways that our negative self-talk is screwing us over.

Another way is that we blame ourselves instead of blaming the system that we're using. Like if you've come off of a previous diet and it was a restrictive diet, or you had to count all your macros or do all those things, then that's not realistic. It's maybe something you can do for a day, but it's not a lifestyle that you want to cultivate.

So obviously that's not a system that really is going to work for you long-term, but you don't blame the system. You blame yourself and think it's you and you don't have enough willpower and so on and so forth. It was never you.

It was never you. You were using the wrong system. And then of course, as far as the negative self-talk goes, we dive into the whole willpower narrative.

Well, I have enough willpower and if we gain weight, we think it's our fault for not being strong enough instead of the diet's fault for being unrealistic and ineffective, quite frankly. That's what I'm going to say. So just look at things from a more open lens and more constructive lens.

Like turn it over. Do you know, when I have to make a decision on something, I mean, what have I got here? I've got so much junk in front of me. This is probably not the best example, but I've got some hand cream here.

When I have to make a decision, I will look at the issue from every possible angle, inside out, upside down, side to side, like every possible angle. I will assess the situation. I put myself, you know, if it involves another person, I put myself in their shoes.

If they this or if they that, would I feel the same way? And if they said and they and then blah, blah, blah, how would I feel? And all those types of things. I project myself into the future very often. How will I, how will this decision, this is the biggest way that I stop myself from.

I swear to you, if I could give you one massive takeaway from today, see, I'm getting in really close now. If I could give you one massive takeaway, use this tactic. I use it all the time, every day.

And it stops me from overeating. I project myself into the future. How am I going to feel about this tomorrow? It's just the only question that I ask, how am I going to feel about this decision tomorrow? Is this going to make me feel good about myself or more shit about myself? Every single time, if we're talking about overeating, of course, I'm going to feel more shit about myself.

So I don't do it. Simple as that. That stops me because, because my, my drive to feel good long term is now stronger than my drive to feel, you know, like just go a bit off the rails in a particular moment.

I care more about feeling good in my body all day tomorrow than I do about some extra flavor in my mouth for two seconds. Now you've got to weigh it up. We talked about this and I talk about this a lot inside of the self-sabotage course.

You've got to make an equal exchange. Don't fuck yourself over by, by making an unequal exchange or inequal exchange. Don't do that.

That's stupid. We're not going to do that. And so the example I use inside of the self-sabotage course is it's, it's, you could equate it to me asking you, do you want a hundred dollars now, or do you want a hundred dollars in a year's time? And you would obviously say, well, I just give you the hundred dollars now, like money.

The hundred dollars now is better than a hundred dollars in a year's time. I'll go spend it now. So that's great.

But if I say to you, do you want a hundred dollars now or a hundred million dollars in a year's time? Well, now I'll wait. I'll wait a year because it's not an equal exchange, but that is what you're doing every single time you choose to overeat and you, and I totally lost my train of thought. Oh my God.

Cause I think I'm thinking about the money and I'm like, man, yeah. A hundred dollars. What could I buy with that? My mind just skipped off into fairyland.

That is what you're doing every single time you do this with food. You are taking an unequal exchange. It's the same as we say to you, do you want this extra cookie now, or this extra little few bites of food now, or whatever it is.

Do you want this now, or do you want the life and the body of your dreams in a year's time? And you go, I'll take the cookie now. That is not an equal exchange. You just fucked yourself over so badly.

Think about it, people. Think about it. So really understand, where was I? Negative self-talk.

This is, this is what it's actually about. So don't blame yourself. Don't hate the play.

I hate the game. That's what it's about. And get, you know, get with your, the willpower narrative is just bullshit.

It's not ever going to fly. It's not your fault for not being strong enough. You know, when you have to rely on willpower to like grit your teeth and see something through, it's not, it's not the long-term solution for you, honey.

(5:55 - 7:12)

It's just not. That was never ever going to be something that was going to work for you. So just let that one go.

The sixth way that we screw ourselves over or that we're making our weight loss harder is by having an, I'm going to say an acute lack of emotional awareness. If you are not open to processing your emotions effectively, then you're not going to be able to avoid the, like, well, no, nobody can avoid uncomfortable feelings, but if you're not open to processing your emotions and just dealing with them, feeling them, then you're going to eat to avoid those uncomfortable feelings. And that is a given.

So instead, rather than dealing with the underlying issue. So rather than whatever is making these feelings come up, rather than addressing that and dealing with that and whatever, it might not be something that you can deal with. You know, I've all told you a million, million, million times about the example with the third party in my life and that I can't get rid of and their, their hell bent drive to just to destroy me physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, that they want me.

(7:14 - 8:33)

I can quite confidently say if I died of something really sad, they would dance on my grave. They would. Something isn't right.

Something is not right up there. So, and that's, that's okay. Let them do what they want.

That's okay. Right. But why I'm saying this is because I have this situation and it, and it does rear its ugly head.

And then I have to deal with the uncomfortable emotions. Now, if I was going to eat over this scenario, I would be the size of a house because it's, it's relentless in its pursuit. But there will be days when I wake up in the morning.

It's the first thing I think about. If I think about it too much now, I'll burst into tears. So it's the first thing I think about.

And then I go to bed at night and it's the last thing I think about at night and it's exhausting and it's draining and it makes you sick. Like these are the sorts of things. So there are different levels of problem.

So I have this problem, but I've also had the problems of nursing a sick parent, you know, through to their, through to their, through to their death. I, again, I just recently lost, you know, my beautiful uncle, like there are different levels of problems. You might have a child that's, that's dealing with a drug issue.

(8:33 - 9:36)

You can have a teen pregnancy. You might be pregnant and, and it's unexpected and it's all like, just your head is spinning. Like, what are you going to do? If you are not willing to feel these emotions, you're going to eat to stuff them down.

And when I say feel them, please, let's be really clear. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Emotions last 90 seconds in your body.

90, 90, 90 seconds. Are we going to eat and destroy our lives over something that will be gone in 90 seconds? And don't sit there, don't sit there and say to me, Kali, these feelings have been there longer than 90 seconds. Mine are there 24 seconds.

The emotions have been there longer than 90 seconds. Yeah. The emotions I feel of massive anxiety, fear, worry, they're there almost 24, seven, but that's because I'm continuing the narrative.

I'm choosing to continue the narrative as much as I don't want to admit it. It's my choice. I'm choosing to continue the narrative.

(9:36 - 12:24)

It's underlying in the back of my mind. What if, what if, what if, and if they do this, then I can do that. But if they do this, then what can I do? That will, that will destroy me.

And oh my God, but, but, but, but maybe if I do this, then they'll love me again. Right? I'm not talking about a male, female relationship. Like you all know, you all know who I'm talking about, but I'm, I can't.

So, so I am the one that is choosing to continue the narrative, which means, which is sad. And then also bloody brilliant, because that means I'm the one that can choose to shut that shit down, shut that shit right down. For me being a human that cannot control.

So I'm just always going to use this example. Cause I, it's the best example I've got. I can't control another person or their choices, nor what I want to really.

Cause I wouldn't want someone doing that to me. I don't want to control them. I wish they would be below.

I don't want to control them or their choices and I can't. So now what are my options? If we're talking about worry and processing our emotions now, what are my options? So for me, I'll just give you what I'm currently using. I have nothing left apart from taking all the legal course of actions that I can take.

And I'm able and are available to me. There are practical steps I can take. And then there's also mental, emotional, and spiritual steps that I can take for me.

That's gone. There's only so much I can do. And after that, I have to hand it over and trust, trust.

I can't fix situations. I couldn't fix like, um, if there was a, you know, somebody was picking on at my kid or like something like I can't walk. I can't do that.

There's certain practical steps you can take, you can't control the whole entire outside story. So then we must go inwards. Again, the more I learn to healthy and productive ways to process my emotions, the less and less I think about the things that worry me, the less, the less they're there, you know, now they'll pop in and then be gone.

And I'll go eight hours without thinking about it until something happens or someone says something. And I'm like, so, and that's, that's great as well. How wonderful is that? Progress is always there.

So I say all of that to remind you, 90 seconds, bitches, the feelings do only last 90 seconds. And the other thing I was going to say about that point number six, about having a lack of emotional awareness is don't have unrealistic expectations on your weight loss. If you have unrealistic expectations.

And by that, I mean, looking at somebody else and how they've gone and their journey and going, why am I like that? I should be like that. Well, if I'm not like that, then I'm failing. And then we eat.

(12:25 - 13:24)

No, sis, we don't roll like that. Get smart, sexy, savvy, and switched on, not switched on, switched on. Your journey is your journey and it has to be taken your way and what in the manner that is healthy for you.

My weight loss is happening really slowly. It's happening, but it's happening really slowly. Do I want it to happen faster? Absolutely.

Do I wish it was just over? Yes, I do. But also I'm 53 and, and I have stress in my life and high cortisol levels do increase the fat storage hormone. So there are factors.

Do they stop me from losing weight? Absolutely not. No, no, no. But they might make my journey a little slower.

I just have to get on board with that. And I'm fine with that. I mean, I would rather it happen slowly, but it happens than for me to have unrealistic expectations and screw it over by eating emotionally and, and throwing it all in and binging every two days, because it's not happening fast enough.

(13:24 - 14:15)

I know it's going to happen. So if I get on the scale and I don't see a huge movement in that particular week or nothing in that particular week, it doesn't bother me. I just keep right on going because I know it's going to happen.

That's the difference between me and you. If you get on the scale and you see it hasn't moved, you lose your shit and you've gone binge. Now, not only did you not lose weight, you gained weight, unrealistic expectations.

So the final way that you're making your weight loss so much harder, the fifth, the seventh way is by having the all or nothing mentality, which so many of us have pretty much anybody who's been in the diet world for more than two seconds has all or nothing mentality, because that's what they teach you. You got to get it perfect. You got to get it right.

If you fuck it up, you won't get the results. It's not true. It's absolutely not true, but we do have remnants of that all or nothing mentality.

(14:16 - 16:33)

So the all or nothing approach that, that the diet industry bestows upon us is that one tiny slip up is going to entirely ruin your progress. There's no comeback from that. And so we end up binging, which makes the consistency that we all need to see results makes that like exponentially more difficult and harder to obtain.

So like I said earlier, look at the system that you're using first, and then look at yourself. What does your external system look like? Are you set up for success? Do you have a strong morning routine? And if you do, are you doing things that you think you should do because you know, the 5am club or the 4am club said you should be doing or are you doing shit that you actually enjoy and want to do? I used to love journaling in the morning. Now, not so much.

And I was trying to force it for a really long time. And now I've just decided it's not something I'm not in that era right now. It may come back.

It might not, but it's not the key to morning routine success, like by not by any means. So I also they say you should read a book. I'm like, I'm not really feeling that either, but I make my plan.

I do my juice. You know, there's certain things that I do. I do my blue light mask or red light mask, whatever's going on.

And like have a meditative moment where I just sit and what's visualization really, I just sit and I visualize how I want my day to be and my life to be and all those things. And that's it. If that's 10 to 15 minutes, I would rather do that than do, you know, try and force out 45 minutes of some bullshit that I'm resenting the whole time.

Look at your system first. And then look at yourself. After I've looked at my system and I've decided, yeah, this system is structured in a way that's going to be really productive now and conducive to the results that I want to get.

Now, let me look at me because now if there's anything holding me back, it's me personally. Now it's a mindset issue. Also think deductively.

Like I said, are you trying to force things into your structure and routine that you don't want there? Take that shit out. If it doesn't feel good to you and you're just forcing it, it's not doing you any good anyway. So get rid of it.

Just get rid of it. Have a flexible mindset versus a fixed mindset. That's always going to be the biggest fast track to success.

(16:34 - 16:53)

Thank you so much for tuning in. Remember to shimmy your butt over to KyliePax.com and join me inside of the bombshell blueprint so you can stop emotional eating and start losing your weight now. You'll also find helpful notes and resources inside my past podcast that will help you lose your weight without losing your sanity.

I will see you next week.