Own Your Life: How Deliberate Decisions Shape Your Future

What if the transformation you've been waiting for is simply one decision away? This eye-opening episode challenges the paralysis of indecision that keeps so many of us stuck in patterns of unfulfillment and missed potential.

We dive deep into why managing life—not curing it—requires making deliberate choices that align with our purpose. Too many people drift through their days, avoiding decisions about relationships, career moves, personal growth, or faith commitments. This decision avoidance becomes a choice itself, one that surrenders control of our lives to external circumstances or other people's priorities.

The powerful story of Jerry, a Vietnam veteran who refused to be defined by his PTSD, illustrates how intentional choices can transform trauma into purpose. Despite still experiencing flashbacks and anxiety, Jerry made deliberate decisions to seek help, build support systems, and use his experiences to benefit others. His transformation didn't happen by accident—it began with a choice.

Drawing from biblical wisdom, psychology, and personal experience as a therapist and minister, I explore how taking ownership as the "CEO of your life" creates pathways to meaningful change. We examine the paralysis that comes from blaming past trauma or waiting for perfect circumstances, contrasting it with the freedom that comes from decisive action. The biblical story of the man at Bethesda who waited 38 years for healing until Jesus told him to "get up" provides a compelling metaphor for how transformation often begins.

Ready to break free from decision paralysis? This episode offers practical steps to cultivate intentional decision-making: clarifying your core purpose, trusting God's plan, sharing your vision with a supportive community, and moving forward with unwavering resolve. Each day presents new opportunities to choose your path—what bold, purposeful choice will you make today?

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Transforming Life Through Intentional Choices

Speaker 1 0:00

Resilient Solutions Shortcast, episode 75, transforming your Life Through Intentional Choices. I love this quote by Dr Phil. Life should be managed, not cured, and one of the keys to managing life is to learn to make choices. I see so many people who are just kind of drifting through life because they don't want to make decisions. Maybe they have decision constipation. It's prevalent in so many places in work, in professional development, in people deciding to follow the Lord, in people making decisions to make their life better, maybe through counseling, coaching and other things like that and yet all we are is one decision away from having an absolutely transformed life.

Speaker 1 0:48

My name's John Thurman. I'm an author, a speaker and a therapist, and my mission is to help you become more resilient in your personal life, your relationships and in your business endeavors and faith, and one of the ways you can do that is to start making choices good choices. Glad you joined me today. To learn more about me, go to JohnThurmannet. Well, let's jump right in today. Thanks so much for joining me. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. I want to jump right in by acting now. By being daring and steady and focused, your life can be transformed beyond your wildest dreams. However, if you choose to just wait and put it off and to procrastinate, life will pass you by and God will give you other options, but to fail to decide is to decide. As a therapist, I've spent a good part of my adult life trying to help people make decisions about marriage, about personal growth, about spiritual growth and about psychological growth and choices. If you want to step into the life that God has designed for you, it starts with you making a deliberate choice and a deliberate decision Now.

Speaker 1 1:59

While wishing and hoping are great, they'll get you nowhere. They will not lead to success under any circumstance. If you hope your marriage will get better, what are you doing to make it better? If you hope your husband or wife will change, what are you doing to help facilitate that Key insight here change yourself first. What if you're disappointed with your work or job? In America, so many people hate their job. Well, you've got a couple of choices Stay there, get a better attitude or look for something else.

Becoming CEO of Your Life

Speaker 1 2:28

The decisions you make today, with your faith as your God, of course, will directly influence your future. I hope that you'll grab a hold of this truth that the Lord wants to bless you and lead you and guide you, but you've got to be willing to take some action on your own. So how do we do that? Well, the first thing you have to do is take ownership of your life, in other words, embrace your role as a CEO of your life, because the Lord has allowed us to be the CEO of our life. Our choices are things we control. Like a gentle whisper amidst the daily chaos, the Lord calls to you to make choices, to move forward, to have an exciting life. He calls you to depend on him, to be your source of life and hope. But there's a catch it requires intentional and courageous choices to bring that purpose into reality.

Speaker 1 3:19

Do you just want to be a sit-on-the-pew Christian or someone who's helping other people experience life change, the type of life change that the gospel offers? Are you part of a company that offers an opportunity for people to change their lifestyle, change their position, to move and grow and to be more profitable? These are all important things. Do you offer a product, good or service that's going to enhance other people's lives? What are you doing with it? How are you handling that? Are you being the CEO of your life choices and being a conduit for other people that they can experience the blessings, or are you letting fear hold you back? Well, I'm so glad you joined me today. Hang in there, because we're going to talk about how to make dynamic, intentional choices. These choices can be as simple as choosing to forgive someone who has wronged you, or as significant as changing your career or align with your true calling. You know that little whisper that the Lord's been whispering in your ear for the past 30 years that you haven't listened to. Let me ask you this Does a sense of purpose guide your life, or are you aimlessly, unintentionally drifting through the days that run together, unaware of the incredible power resting in your hands through your choices?

Speaker 1 4:29

My friend, dr Craig Van Busiek, is a scholar who studied Harry Truman's philosophy and, by the way, his book I Am Cyrus is a great story about how Harry Truman had an influence in making the modern state of Israel who they are today. Well, harry Truman had a great byline, if you will, and that was that the buck stops here. It was a sign on his desk. Harry Truman's approach was straightforward yet impactful, and it impacted leaders and champions who embraced his total accountability for their actions. He didn't make excuses, he didn't push it off on someone else when he said the buck stopped here, he owned it. Good, bad, indifferent or great, you see, he had clarity and resolve. With that clarity and resolve, truman remained steadfast in monumental decisions, not second-guessing or shrinking back from what he believed was right. This type of decisiveness is what we all need. Own your choices, own your life. Fail to choose and the train called life will pass you by. I know that's harsh, but that's the reality.

Speaker 1 5:33

As a counselor and a minister, I do a lot of listening, and one of the things I hear from people that just makes my blood boil sometimes is how easy we push responsibility for our actions on someone else. Well, I had a traumatic life. My dad was mean, my mama was a drunk. I'm sorry that happened to you, but are you going to allow the choices they made to ruin your life or are you going to do something about it? You see, the journey of life is not about blaming others or allowing external circumstances or factors or traumas to determine our direction. It's about conforming our will to God's intention for our lives. You need to act purposely and say I am answerable for my actions and what I received. I'm sorry if bad things happen to you. We've all had life tragedies. There have been little traumas and big traumas, and you can choose to either let those traumas control you or you can find the. Either let those traumas control you or you can find the tools, a therapist and ways to deal with that, where you can come on the other side of it.

Jerry's Story: Overcoming PTSD

Speaker 1 6:34

We've been dealing with trauma since man's been alive. Not want to minimize what you're doing, but don't surrender to it. Instead, have the courage to lean into it. Remember, just because you face trauma doesn't mean it defines who you are today or who you're going to be tomorrow. And though many people have had heart-wrenching, soul-wounding experiences, many people have refused to let their scars dictate their futures. So here's my encouragement for you today Embrace this moment as an opportunity to decide how you'll respond. This moment is an opportunity to decide how you'll respond. Although the past influences us, it is our response that truly characterizes us. Are you ready? Let's make those bold choices. Let me share with you one story about that very thing.

Speaker 1 7:24

Let's talk about Jerry for a minute. Jerry is a fellow veteran. He's a combat veteran who struggled a lot with PTSD. But rather than surrendering to that trauma, he made an intentional choice not to be defined by his trauma but to face it, use the resources available to him, which included some good Christian counseling, the VA and a bunch of NGO programs that support veterans. And what he chose to do was not to be a victim of PTSD but to be a person who overcame it. I met Jerry a few years ago when I was deployed as a FEMA stress counselor. We were there supporting the FEMA mission to help Puerto Ricans get back on their feet after Hurricane Maria hit her. I met Jerry one day. He was a Vietnam vet with quite an invisible battle scar, far deeper than most could see. Yet he shared the stories of the trauma he had. But he also shared about how he had people at the VA. He had Christian counselors, pastors, other veterans and other nice people who came alongside him and walked with him through this. Now, his stories that he shared were raw, but what struck a nerve in me, what really impressed me the most about this, was that, rather than be a victim of PTSD, he made a decision to do what he could do to control his life.

Speaker 1 8:39

Now, does he still struggle with PTSD? Yes, does he still have some pretty high anxiety at times? Yes, he does. Does he have some issues from time to time? Yes, he does. Does he still have flashbacks? Yes, he does. Does he have some issues from time to time? Yes, he does. Does he still have flashbacks? Yes, he does. But what he did is he made a decision not to be controlled by it, but embrace it for what it is and take action to do what he could do to overcome it. As a result, he's used his faith, therapy, accountability, reading podcasts, connecting with others to do what he can do, plus his own just sheer, pig-headed resolve. He's chosen the latter. He's chosen not to be a victim of PTSD, but to work through it and not let it control his future. As a result of that, he's been a beacon of hope for others.

Speaker 1 9:29

You see for Jerry, through faith, discipline, good therapy and intentional action, he transformed his pain into a platform for positive impact and personal growth. He's now helping rebuild others' lives because he was so proactive. What's his secret? You're not going to believe me when I tell you this. He made a choice. His future was forged through a bold, deliberate decision, guided by faith and purpose and intentionally connecting to a support system. A powerful story. Even as I was writing this article, I was smiling, just because I was thinking about Jerry's tenacity, his decision-making and knowing that he really felt like he had found a new mission in life. Now his daytime job he's a commercial truck driver, but in his spare time he does what he can do to help veterans and stays plugged into his church.

Speaker 1 10:21

Let me just make a statement here real quick. If your life isn't where you believe it should be, it's your responsibility. Circumstances do not shift themselves, nor is your prince charming or fairy godmother going to come along and bail you out. God's plan for your life requires your intentional, courageous decisions. I love the story when Jesus went to the pool with Zeta and he asked this man, do you want to be healed? And the guy sounded like a modern person. I love the story when Jesus went to the pool of Bethsaida and he asked this man, do you want to be healed? And the guy sounded like a modern person. Well, lord, I've been sitting here for 38 years and I never get the water in time. The angel stirs the water and someone gets in before I do, so I don't guess I'll ever be healed. Jesus didn't listen to him. Jesus said stand up. Can you imagine that Jesus did not show unconditional regard? He was not a good Rogerian therapist. He didn't listen to the guy's story, he just told him to get up, and he did.

Decisiveness in Faith and Growth

Speaker 1 11:14

Decisiveness means making firm choices and adhering to them. In the context of spiritual growth, decisiveness is the unwavering commitment to your faith and the active pursuit of a deeper relationship with God. It is a vital trait for anyone striving to deepen their faith. When individuals face moments of uncertainty, being decisive can lead to clarity and confidence in their beliefs. This clarity can enhance our relationship with God and our understanding of biblical principles, spiritual principles as well as personal growth principles. In addition, decisiveness pushes individuals to actively build their faith rather than passively wait for divine help. Decisiveness also prompts individuals to take charge of their spiritual path. By actively choosing to deepen their faith, they become more invested in their relationship with God, and this investment fosters ownership regarding one's convictions, which result in a greater commitment to living on those convictions daily, living that life, daily Living the life that reflects the love of God. In your work, in your relationships, wherever you go To deepen your faith, you can engage in regular prayer and meditation, studying the scripture and actively participating in your local church community.

Speaker 1 12:29

Through decisive actions, you and I, as believers, can witness tangible growth in our faith. But you've got to decide. You have to make a choice. You have to step into the plan. You see, with faith as your guide, you can choose to rise above the past and pursue God's purpose in your life, and that purpose has to do with faith, growth, victory, overcoming not just for yourself, but that others can have faith and hope and see that God really is invested in them. That's because you'll have a testimony.

Speaker 1 13:04

Let me talk a couple of minutes about the power of intentional, tenacious decision-making. Let me wrap this up. Christians can find decisiveness to be a decisive advantage when navigating their faith. It plays a crucial role in overcoming doubt, learning how to resist temptation, building resilience and nurturing your enduring faith. Because individuals make intentional choices reflecting their beliefs, they reinforce their relationship with God and encourage their spiritual growth and the growth of others. The connection between decisiveness and enduring faith is evident, highlighting the importance of taking ownership of one's spiritual journey.

Steps for Making Intentional Choices

Speaker 1 13:43

If you're not growing, grow. If you're not in a church where you're growing, find a place you can grow. It's all up to you. It starts with a conscious commitment. Here are three or four things you can do. Number one clarify your why. A friend of mine says you got to know your. Why till you cry? Why are you alive? What is your purpose? Why is God allowing you to take up space on this planet? What is your life mission? Secondly, trust that God has a plan for you. Believe in the dreams he has placed in your heart. They may be financial dreams, business dreams, personal growth dreams, spiritual growth dreams, but they're there. God's planted there. Number three share your vision with a faith-filled, supportive community of people Hopefully your church, because that church community, a church where you're growing and you're feeling nurtured, and your fellowship, and have accountability. That fuels perseverance, that fuels you making more good, positive decisions and then move forward with unwavering resolve.

Speaker 1 14:47

God's called you to a purpose in your life. Do you know what it is? If you don't, let me encourage you strongly. Encourage you to figure out what it is. I love what Andy Andrews says. God did not put in me the ability to always make the right decision, but he gave me the ability to choose and then, with his help, make the right choice. Isn't that a comforting thought? Each day gives you and I opportunities to choose our path, and today is no different. Therefore, reflect on intentionality. It's not just about deciding, it's about embracing God's purpose in your life with unwavering dissolve.

Speaker 1 15:24

Picture this You're standing at a crossroads, armed with faith and determination. What bold, purposeful choice will you make today, with God's power and purpose supporting you? Know that your future is entirely in your hands. You have the strength within you to turn those choices into something beautiful and transformative. So go ahead, make that decision, whether it's stepping out of your comfort zone or nurturing a relationship. Trust that the Lord will guide you through every step of the way. And if things don't go as planned, it's not the end of the world. Just view this as an event, as a growth opportunity, perhaps a humorous tale. Eventually, let's embrace the journey together and see where God leads us.

Speaker 1 16:08

Wow, that was fast. Well, check the show notes out, get the link to the blog and I actually included a bonus Bible study for you. I so appreciate you taking the time to listen to me. I'll be back next week. We're doing a four-part series on decision making. You can learn more about me at johnthermannet. My name is John John Thurman and my goal in life is to help you become more resilient in your personal life, your relationships and in your faith, and just want to remind you today that this is the day that the Lord has made, and I will make a choice to rejoice and be glad in it. Take care, god bless. See you next time.