Erica Kirk’s Grace: Resilience After Tragedy

What does real forgiveness look like when the wound is still fresh? We open with the powerful moment at Charlie Kirk’s memorial and the courageous grace Erica Kirk offered to the person responsible for his death. Her choice isn’t framed as perfection or passivity—it’s a living example of how faith, scripture, and daily practice can turn a crushing burden into resilient strength. That moment becomes our springboard to examine how bitterness settles in, why it steals peace, and how a clear path forward can loosen its grip one honest decision at a time.

We explore forgiveness as a gift you give yourself, grounded in Psalm 34:18 and a trust that God draws close to the brokenhearted. From there, we move on to practical tools you can use today: naming the person you need to release, starting your mornings with a simple prayer, and ending your days by giving everyone and everything to God. We connect these rhythms with cognitive behavioral insights, demonstrating how reframing setbacks, practicing gratitude, and performing small daily kindnesses help rebuild emotional flexibility and mental health. Along the way, we highlight the ripple effect of testimony—how one act of grace can soften another person’s heart and open space for healing.

You’ll receive a straightforward action plan: choose forgiveness, pray for grace, reframe challenges as opportunities for growth, and establish a resilience routine grounded in scripture and stillness. We also share resources to keep you going, including the Bible app for reading plans and John Eldredge’s Pause App for morning and evening reflection. The message is simple and strong: you are responsible for your growth, help is available when you need it, and God is near. If this resonates, please subscribe, share the show with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review to help others discover these valuable tools. Then tell us: what’s one step toward forgiveness you’ll take today?

Link to Blog

Chapters

• 0:00 Memorial, Grief, and a Model of Grace
• 0:52 Erica’s Testimony and Biblical Grounding
• 2:10 From Bitterness to Healing
• 3:17 A Practical Plan to Forgive
• 5:22 Reframing, Gratitude, and Growth
• 6:47 Personal Responsibility and Next Steps
• 8:13 Tools, Apps, and Daily Practices
• 9:28 Encouragement, Resources, and Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Resilient Solutions Shortcast, Episode 79, Erica Kirk's Example of Forgiveness. Well, it's been a few weeks since we experienced that incredible memorial service for Charlie Kirk. Particularly the miraculous way that his wife Erica was able to release that killer through forgiveness. And I've been thinking about it. So many people that I deal with are holding on to bitterness and resentment. As a therapist, that's one of the biggest things I deal with. Well, today we're going to give you some tools on how you can get rid of that. Welcome to my podcast, John Thurman's Resilient Solutions Shortcast, where I help you become more resilient in your personal life, your relationships, and in your faith. To learn more about me, check out johnturman.net. Let's jump right in today. Just a few weeks ago, I, like many of you, watched Charlie Kirk's memorial service. It was a somber moment yet filled with hope and resilience. Thanks in a large part to Erica Kirk's heartfelt testimony. Her words touched so many so deeply, offering a reminder that even in our darkest moments, hope can blossom through the act of forgiveness. As Erica shared her journey of grace and forgiveness toward the person who was responsible for Charlie's murder, her example was more than just moving. It was transformational. She showed us that forgiveness isn't just about forgiving others, it's a healing gift that we give ourselves. Her faith rooted in her response to God's unconditional love and the promise of his justice. Her story draws from biblical truth like Psalm 3418, which says, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. When you and I lean into God's presence and trust his power to restore us, resilience begins to take root. And it's not a worldly type of resilience. It's a resilience based deeply in the Word of God and the heart of God and the promises of God. One of the things I loved about what she did is she really spoken to the power of forgiveness. And so many people hold on to Old Hurts. As a matter of fact, just a few days later, there was a news story about Tim Allen and how the words of Erica Kirk had really stimulated his mind and his heart to consider how he had been holding on to a bitterness about some issues with his dad. And he was able to articulate the fact that through her testimony, he was able to allow the Lord to soften his heart and release his dad. It's a heartwarming story to read about how her example of forgiveness is impacting so many people. You see, forgiveness lifts the heavy burden of bitterness. It helps you make room for God's peace in your heart. So many of us have old hurts and old wounds and things that hold us back. And what happens if we don't deal with that? If we don't learn to release it, it turns into bitterness and resentment. And the Bible says that a wounded spirit who can bear? But when dreams come true, there's life and joy. The scripture also says a lot about bitterness and releasing it. And her message really pricked a lot of people's hearts to consider that. Let me share a few things with you about forgiveness and how you can maybe experience it in your life. Forgiveness lifts the heavy burden of bitterness, making room for God's peace to fill our heart. Each act of grace not only helps us face the storms that we face in life, but also it transformed that adversity into opportunities for growth. When we choose hope and forgiveness each day, we are walking a path of divine strength and resilience. So how can we incorporate these virtues into our life? How can we develop forgiveness in our life? Well, here's a simple action plan. And folks, if you're holding on to some old wounds, you don't need therapy necessarily to get rid of them. You need just to get real with the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal these things to you and trust Him to point a way out. And I'm going to share with you some tools you can use to begin that journey. Now, once again, I'm a therapist, so if you need therapy, by all means get it. But you don't have to have it to begin the process. So how can we incorporate forgiveness into our life? Well, first of all, choose forgiveness today. Right now, I want you to take a minute and identify someone you need to forgive. It might be something recent or something that's been stewing in your heart a long time. Remember, forgiveness is a gift to yourself, releasing you from the heavy burden. Next, start each morning with a prayer for grace. Ask God to fill your heart with His strength, His wisdom, His grace, and mercy to respond with kindness, patience, and hope, no matter what the day holds. In John Eldridge's app, Pause, he has a morning prayer. One of the things I love about that morning and evening prayer where he says, Lord Jesus, help me give everyone and everything to you. Help me give everyone and everything to you. What a great way to start and end your day that you can give it all the Lord, trusting him to guide you through it, and at the end of the day, you can give it all back. I would encourage you to check that out. Next, look for ways to shine this light in your everyday interactions. A kind word at the grocery store, a listening ear, a small act of kindness and love. These actions not only uplift others, but they make you feel better and they actually strengthen your resilience. Next, reframe challenges into opportunities. Instead of using setbacks as roadblocks, ask yourself, what can I learn from this? How can I lean on God's strength? Is there a promise, a practice, a prayer, or principle that I need to apply to this situation? What happens when you think this way? It shifts your perspective from a blame, guilt, defeated personality and really helps you shift into more of a growth mindset, a mindset that's got gratitude at the very core of it. And what we know from cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the best ways to push back anxiety and depression is to really develop that attitude of gratitude. The final thing you want to do is create a resilience routine. Dedicate a few minutes each day to prayer, meditation, being quiet, and relying your focus on God's purpose and his promises and his sovereignty. Every step you take towards forgiveness and trust in God brings you closer to a life filled with joy, peace, purpose, and resilience. It's a journey worth embarking on, and it's one you have to impart every day. I really want to encourage you to do this because so many times in our culture, even Christians who fall into some of the traps of the therapized culture, and folks remember, I'm a therapist, but what's happened in this in my world is it's almost like we want to play pin the tail on the donkey. In other words, find someone else to blame for the misery in our lives. And the liberating truth of life in the gospel is you and I are the only ones responsible for our happiness and our mental health. If you need help along the way, certainly get it. But grow up. So why wait? Why are you putting it off? Why are you nurturing those hurts? Why are you doing that? It doesn't serve any good. What I want you to do instead is embrace hope today. Take the first step towards becoming more forgiving and more resilient. Remember, the Lord is near. He's walking alongside you every step. He's just waiting for you, if you will, to bend the knee to him and ask for help. He promises he'll do it. So if you're looking for some additional resource, I recommend downloading, first of all, the Bible app. It's a great app. You can get the Bible in like 70 or 80 translations. It's great to get a daily reading program going. And with the Bible app or the UVersion app, you can get several Bible reading plans that can help you. Or you can start some daily devotionals that can help you. Secondly, and I really encourage you to look at this. John Eldridge, E-L-D-R-E-D-G-E, has a great app called the Pause App. What he does, he helps you pause on scripture. The Pause offers practical tools for meditative prayer and reflection, helping you spend meaningful time in God's presence morning and the evening so you can become more resilient, so you can experience the Word of God on a deeper level, and you can experience the presence of Jesus in your life. Well, my name's John Thurman, and I thank you for listening to me today. I hope you'll take from the example of Erica Kirk's forgiveness and her resilience. And if you've got some areas in your life you're holding to, some old hurts and hang ups and bangs that you had, first of all, start with prayer. Ask the Lord to show you where you're holding on to bitterness and resentment. And two, ask him to point you to ways to release it. If you need some help, you can reach out to me by email, John at covertmercy.com. Go to my website, johntherman.net. I believe you have the tools that you need to deal with this. Don't let those old hang-ups and hurts destroy you. Get some help if you need to and get free of it. Learn the releasing, cleansing power of forgiveness. Learn to see how the Lord Jesus can free you from that bound up bitterness and resentment that the enemy really likes to rehearse in your life. Don't listen to that negative voice. Instead, listen to the loving, freeing, powerful words of Jesus. Well, my name's John Thurman. You've been listening to my podcast, John Thurman's Resilient Solutions Shortcast. And I just want to remind you today that this is the day that the Lord has made. And I'll make a choice to rejoice and be glad in it. God bless. See you next time. Take care.