How A Growth Mindset Transforms Shame Into Hope

Shame can feel like a verdict, but it’s often just an old script that needs a rewrite. We unpack how to move from shame-based thinking to growth-based thinking with clear definitions, simple reframes, and small daily habits that build real momentum. Starting with Regina’s story and the voice that says “not good enough,” we explore the difference between a fixed mindset that treats failure as fate and a growth mindset that treats failure as feedback—then we connect that to the renewing of the mind called for in Scripture.

We share a powerful example from Joni Eareckson Tada, whose journey from “Why did this happen?” to “How can God use this?” reframed her life and launched a global ministry serving people with disabilities and veterans. Her story shows how faith, purpose, and community can redirect the brain’s alarms toward hope and action. Along the way, we highlight key verses like Romans 12:2 and Philippians 1:6 that anchor a faith-shaped growth mindset, reminding us that transformation is a process, not a performance.

Then we get practical. You’ll hear common shame scripts and their growth-focused counterstatements, plus five daily prompts to build traction: name one small step after failure, find a Scripture that speaks to your fear, coach yourself like a friend, notice what God is already doing, and choose a tiny practice you can repeat today. We also talk about cutting comparison by reframing your social media inputs and building tiny habits that train your thoughts without overwhelm. By the end, you’ll have a toolkit to quiet the inner critic, recover faster after mistakes, and take the next right step with confidence.

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Transcript

Welcome And Focus On Shame

SPEAKER_00 0:00

John Thurman's Resilient Solutions Shortcast: How to Shift from Shame-Based Thinking to Growth-Based Thinking. Welcome to John Thurman's Resilient Faith Podcast, where I help you develop a more resilient faith so that you can thrive when the storms of life come. Today we're talking about how to shift from shame to growth, practical steps, tiny habits, short reframes, and biblical truth that you can use to help you move forward when shame seems to keep you stuck. So stay with me for the next few minutes. Who knows? You might discover how to shift from shame to growth. My name is John Thurman. I'm an author, a speaker, and a therapist. And to learn more about me, check out my website at johnturman.net. Thanks so much for joining me. Let's jump right in. Picture Regina. She sits on her bed, Bible on the nightstand. She serves at church, leading the youth, but a mistake a few months ago keeps replaying in her head. She prays, she reads devotional, and she still hears, you are not good enough. You're a loser. How can God use you? Does that sound like you? Does that have a familiar ring to it? Well, if it does, you are not alone. We all struggle with that. We all struggle with those little voices, those negative voices, those naysayers, the enemy going, You're not good enough. You're just a loser. Who do you think you are? Well, the good news is the gospel meets us in our shame. And with small, face-shaped steps, we can change those negative dream-stealing stories into stories of faith and hope and love and change our outcomes. And how do we do it? Number one, by understanding your mindset. People ask me all the time, well, Thurman, I hear you talk about mindsets all the time. What do you mean when you mean mindset? Great question. What I mean is that that is the default way you interpret your life, your future, your setbacks, and your stakes. In her book, Success, The New Psychology, Dr. Carol Dweck discovered that we tend to operate with one or two types of mindsets. One type is a fixed mindset, the other type is an opener growth mindset. The fixed mindset says, You are the way you are, you can't change. Providence has dealt you the hand, it's dealt you your brain, your personality, and your genes. Lots of luck, Chuck. Whereas the growth mindset says, no, there are opportunities for growth. You are wired for opportunities and growth, but you have to put the effort in. You can change. You are not prescribed to turn out just a certain way. You have agency, you have the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to help you. Let me put it another way. A fixed mindset treats mistakes as proof that you are stuck, you're imperfect, and you're unchangeable. While a growth mindset treats mistakes as information that you can learn from. For believers, this matters because our faith invites transformation over time. There's scripture after scripture that talks about this. But first, I want to remind you of a very famous person in Christendom who's alive today and who really demonstrates this. Her name is Johnny Ericsson Tata. Johnny Ericsson Tata's story is a vivid example. After a diving action at age 17, left her paralyzed her neck down. Her century, remember that a couple of weeks ago, we talked about our sentry? Her amygdala, her warning system went on high alert. The physical danger was real, but the mental threat was worse. At first, her sentry shouted, those fixed mindset fears, your life is over. You are broken, nothing can change. Have you ever felt that way after you've messed up, done a face plan or a sin? The enemy goes, You're you're useless. Who do you think you are? And for a while when you read about Johnny's life, that despair took over. Why? Because that's what a fixed mindset does in tragedy. It sees only a dead end. But gradually Johnny began to replace that stinking thinking with biblical growth. While she couldn't heal her spine, and she couldn't change her spine, but through scripture and purposeness and prayer and the support of others, she changed her purpose. Instead of saying, Why did this happen to me? Instead of embracing that whole victim mentality, she started asking, How can God use this? Pretty incredible. To go from moaning and groaning and complaining, going, Woe is me, woe is me, to how can God use this? That shift from why to how is the hallmark of the mind being renewed. Her faith and that shift in her mindset demonstrated so many things. It shows what happens when a mind begins to experience intentional renewal. She moved from a brain reacting to fear and death and disability to a mind responding with faith. Johnny didn't just survive her circumstances. She built an international ministry, Johnny and Friends, that has changed the world. Her intentional choice proved that while the body may be broken, you can always have a spirit that's free to grow. And if you look at her journey from the ashes of tragedy to the treasure she's become worldwide to and how her influence has not only helped families with disabilities, but she also has a ministry that involves reaching out to veterans. And I'm blessed to be a part of that ministry. By the way, if you're a veteran, she has a special camp she does every year all throughout the country. One of the unique things about this outreach for veterans, it's not just for veterans, it's for their families. You can bring your kids to have activities. The one I'm involved in is in Lone Tree Ranch. It includes horseback riding, hiking, water slides, zip wires, the whole things. And they're all ADA compliant. More information on that, go to Johnny and Friends and look under Johnny's Warrior Getaway. You can find all the information you need to there. Johnny made a choice. She decided not to be held back by her disability, but to move forward and trust God. The Bible speaks of this, and because this is a short cast, I won't be able to go into a lot of detail here. But in Philippians 1 6, the Bible says, I am certain that God who began a good work in you will continue his work. And in Romans 12 2, and I love this passage, I recently had the opportunity to preach on this. Romans 12 2 says, Do not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Those verses anchor a faith-shaped growth mindset. How do you do that? Well, today I'm going to give you a few tips. First of all, how do you spot that shamed-based thinking mindset? Well, you listen for some of that self-talk like, if I mess up, I'm not a good Christian. I'm just wired that way. I can't help myself. I've got this problem. I even hear some people blame it on the generational curse. The good news is you don't have to accept that. The good news is you can begin to apply scripture and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you and guide you and learn to identify those thinking thinking patterns and break out of them. Now, it takes work, it takes intentionality, and today I'm going to give you some tips on how to do that. Now, if you're unsure, let me share with you some behaviors of people who get stuck with that shamed-based mindset. You might avoid feedback, you might hide struggles, or you might constantly compare yourself to others. In today's culture with all the social media and stuff, it's hard to avoid that, but you need to, because very few people feel edified when they get off Facebook. More often than not, they feel kind of sad, depressed, wishing they had more friends and more likes. But remember, folks, all of social media is as a highlight reel. Now if you notice any of these patterns and they seem to be problematic, you can begin taking some baby steps towards change. In the therapy world, we call this reframing, but practically it's just changing your mind, changing your outlook, and changing your tone. Let me give you examples here. This is designed to kind of model some ideas for that you can use to make those changes. If you think something like, I fail, so I'm a failure, that's real shame-based thinking. Instead, as a believer, you can say, I failed. But what can I learn for that and try to avoid it next time? So you don't see failure as final. You see failure as an opportunity to growth. How about the next one? Oh, I just don't have what it takes. Instead of building a shrine to self-loathing, why don't you try reframing it like this way? Well, I don't have it yet. But I can begin to take some steps in that direction. You see, rather than going that catastrophic thinking that sounding more like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh in the forty acre wood, it's more like, okay, got this issue. I don't have what it takes, but that doesn't mean I will never have what it takes. So what can I do to begin to improve myself and move in that direction? God, how can you help me do that? How about the third one? People will see that I'm not spiritual. Well, here's a news flash. What most people put on as spirituality is really a mask. I mean it really is. The truth is, God knows me. He knows about how I feel about myself, and yet his word speaks so much truth about me, like how I am fearfully and wonderfully made, how I am deeply and profoundly loved. The truth is God knows you better than anybody else. He also knows your potential, and he invites you and I to partake of his grace through a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. So that's how you reframe. You hear what you say, and then you find the opposite of it. You find the truth in it. It will not feel natural at first because we're so used to playing those old tapes. But give it a try. Now you can find this in the show notes, but also on the blog, which will have a link to it. Let's go through a series of short prompts that you can use to help with this. Let's say, oh, I failed, so I'm a failure. Or rather than staying there, why don't we say, I failed, but maybe one small step is I did fail, but what can I learn from that and what can I try next? So what's one small step I can take after I fail? Well, it might be a scripture, it might be a story, it just might be an idea. So what's the next step? What passage of scripture could you use right now to help you? The Bible says, if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. So that's a passage. Another question you can ask yourself, if I had a friend that was struggling with this, how would I coach them? And then number four, what is God already doing in my situation? Then number five, this feeling is temporary. What can I practice different today to get me to a different place? Those are five daily prompts. Also, let me give you just a little practical exercise you can do here. Once again, these are in the show notes. One of the ways to overcome this thinking thinking or this negative mindset is to begin building tiny habits that rewire your responses for tiny wins. So I want you to begin to track some of that negative thinking. Don't camp on it. Just look for it. I'm pretty sure it won't be very hard to find once you become aware of it. Number two, write some of those down and then do some research, even if you have to Google or do Chat GPT on Bible verses that deal with that. Really, you can begin to change the way you think as you begin to absorb what scripture teaches and focus on that. Well, I hope this has helped you today. I've enjoyed being with you. Stay tuned. We try to come out with something every week or so. My name's John Thurman. I'm an author, speaker, and licensed mental health professional in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Thanks for joining me. To learn more about me, check out my website, John at johntherman.net. There you'll find links to me, to some of the classes I teach, as well as links to my blog and podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you like it and you like what you hear, please subscribe and share it with your friends. Let me close with this reminder. This is the day that the Lord has made, and I will make a choice to rejoice and be glad in it. God bless. Take care. See you next time.