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Chronicles Of A Therapist
Chronicles Of A Therapist
The TikTok Ban
Have you ever felt a pang of anxiety when a favorite app goes offline? Join me, Kazandra Shepherd, as we unravel the emotional chaos triggered by a temporary TikTok shutdown that left many in despair. It’s a modern-day tale akin to losing old digital friends like AOL and MySpace. We’re not just talking about the inconvenience of a momentary glitch; this is a wake-up call about our deep-rooted dependency on digital platforms and how it's reshaping our emotional landscapes. By drawing intriguing parallels with "The Truman Show," I invite you to question whether our virtual lives are overshadowing the real-world connections we desperately need.
We also turn our focus to the delicate task of safeguarding our children amidst the digital whirlwind accelerated by the pandemic. The rise of social media has redefined the boundaries between reality and virtual spaces for both young and old, presenting challenges like online disputes, privacy concerns, and the mirage of digital friendships. There's a crucial conversation here, urging parents to be proactive in their children's online worlds. By nurturing open dialogues and setting mindful boundaries, we can guide the younger generation toward healthier tech relationships. Tune in as we tackle these pressing issues head-on, offering insights to help bridge the gap between the digital and the tangible.
Hi guys, welcome back to Chronicles of a Therapist. I am Kazandra Shepherd and welcome to my space. I'm a therapist, I am Cassandra Shepard, and welcome to my space. Happy 2025. That's what I feel like 2025.
Speaker 1:I read somewhere that, like, the year is supposed to start in the spring, which actually makes sense Because, like you know, we go through all this BS, winter stuff. I don't know, anyway. So today I wanted to come back and talk about something that was very random and I'm going to do my best to like not put a whole lot of political stuff in it, because don't nobody really want to hear it. We all know everybody has been terrified since December, november, when they noticed or mentioned that TikTok would be going away. Right, everybody knew about their get rid of TikTok. No, it's not, yes, it is Whatever. So the reason I want to talk about it is twofold, three actually, when TikTok went away for like 12 hours on the 19th, from January 19th to the 20th no, the 18th through the 19th literally, literally 12 hours, like literally, and I only know that because around 10 15, it started glitching and then you just couldn't scroll no more. And me personally, like, I use TikTok literally for entertainment and to research stuff that I don't want to do my own research for. So for me, the way my life is, like when I be in a school, tiktok don't work. That's prime opportunity to scroll, but I can't. So for me, whatever I got all the other platforms, I'm going to scroll over to Instagram, we'll be scrolling on.
Speaker 1:So but it was amazing to me like the weekend before, everybody was real emotional, like I had people on my for you page like crying and saying goodbye, like it was real melodramatic, very, very much so. And so the first thing I thought was, like, if you've had AOL, if you've had MySpace, if you've had Black Planet, facebook, all of the things, there has been a level of loss, right. Like, oh, this is fun, we're doing this, it's time consuming, it's taking up our time, and then it phases out Vine. It phases out Like Facebook and Instagram. They've been hanging out for a while they probably have been the longest in history, right, but like it just was very interesting to me and it made me wonder what exactly is going on with this world and our mental health in the society. That people were crying.
Speaker 1:I read somewhere that people were calling 911 and they were suicidal because TikTok was over. And that to me is, like you know, as a mental health, yeah, that that if somebody came to my chair suicidal because TikTok was over, I immediately would feel like they were delusional because, like, what world or what space, what? What have you created in your tiktok for you page, aka community or whatever that makes you want to unalive yourself, like, if you are so. And so I thought about our kids first, because, if you look at it, like I said, all of us who have all those things before we keep rolling, all right, cool, we're going to go to Instagram, that's all. You're not working, no problem, if I want to scroll, I'm going to scroll, I'm going to, I'm going to find something.
Speaker 1:Because the majority of adults who, whether you're entrepreneurs, you have a job, you have a family, a family whatever, like we, literally, you might use it for some secondary income, so you might, you might have monetized, you might be getting some coins from it, but that's not your bread and butter, so we wasn't stressed about it. But this generation of people who were like sad, like you're grieving, like you lost your parent or your child or your best friend, like that, if that's not some implications of mental health and delusions, I don't know, and the reason why I say delusions? Because the society now is so far removed from actual human interaction. I mean, if you look about, if you look at the kids who are playing I've talked about this before who are playing video games, and they are so like they don't even realize like, oh yeah, I play Call of Duty, yes, but those are like like those are real guns that they are simulating and if you pick one of them up, you will shoot somebody and kill somebody. They're not going to just come back, they're not going to just ta-da, come back.
Speaker 1:So this, this space that we have created in this society, where people get drawn in, like I was listening to something that somebody said it was like the Truman Show. If you haven't seen the Truman Show, maybe you have, maybe you haven't it's, it's a world. I think it was Jim Carrey, I think it was. It was Jim Carrey, but basically he's living in a world and he doesn't realize that everybody around him is recording. So for him it was real, but everybody else was actors.
Speaker 1:And I feel like this society has put up this facade of TikTok is a place to escape and find who you are, and it makes me sad because our children are growing up in this time Like y'all don't have problem solving, y'all have no emotional regulation. Well, I wonder why? Because you're getting these random, like raw, unfiltered thought patterns of other people who are not even connected to you, like there's's something to say. However, you grew up in your family, like we'll say, I'll say this, y'all met my mom. If you've been here long enough, you met my mom. My mom is very, very, very dramatic, very, very dramatic, and so, because I grew up in that, I do, I'm dramatic too, but I can identify like, yeah, that's not, that's not real, that's not what we're doing, that's not real. So I feel like these children, these, this was a gen x, whatever, whatever they're those ones are, and under they don't have the ability to bounce. I did they not like, if your best friend is somebody on social media you've never seen, y'all have never got a cup of coffee. Like I'm not saying you can't have. You know, we have pen pals for us, we have pen pals. But there was an idea that, like I can write my pen pal and then I'm going outside to play catch with my, with the people I can see like the actual, I can say, hey, I'm really upset like and so this generation has made all of these virtual platforms a level of reality that's not real. It's like delusional, like we think about AI. That's why AI is scary, because AI has come from these people who pour their heart and soul into society and they are delusional like that's not real life.
Speaker 1:Those of us, when you go through stuff, whatever you, you grieve. Yes, be sad, but you keep going, like I. Over the holidays I've seen some people lost their parents. Guess what they grieve. You take your little grief time off. Guess what you got? Three days you're going back to work. You get in three days and only if it's your primary family. So I say that to say like life continues.
Speaker 1:And so it makes me really, really sad and it makes me think about what, as adults, what do we need to teach our children? Hey, I know that you enjoy playing fortnight and call of duty, but that's not real. You can't walk up to somebody and shoot them. It's a real gun that they will die and you will go to jail. That's not self-defense. So I worry about what are we teaching our kids? And, more important, as adults Now we, like I said in the beginning, the majority of us use social media as literal entertainment.
Speaker 1:Literal I am escaping from the reality. I do not want to be at work right now. These damn kids is getting on my nerves. Oh. When is it time to clock off? Oh, I don't want to. So we have an understanding that that's not real life. Now, if somehow you have been able to buy a million dollar home because somebody told me that there are people from TikTok who are buying million dollar homes I would be sad too. But I also feel like, if you have put yourself in that position, hopefully you're smart enough to invest some of that, because the way the world is, things change. That's why trends in fashion, that's why we've had black planet and MySpace and all these different things, because we have like as a society, we really have ADHD After a while.
Speaker 1:It's like, and the only reason why TikTok let's be real. Let's be real. The only reason why TikTok blew up is because of COVID, because we ain't had nothing else to do, because we couldn't go to work. We couldn't go to work, we couldn't go outside, we couldn't go kick it, we couldn't go to the bar, we couldn't go to the gym, we couldn't get our hair nails done, couldn't go to the bar, so you sitting at home. So let's be real, the only reason why people got so and it also makes sense why it became people's lifeline, because they couldn't interact with people. But those of us who also understood, this is fun. But as soon as outside opened up, okay, that's cool. Uh, where we at let's, let's, let's, let's meet.
Speaker 1:And so I my, my fear is what are we going to do and how do we? We prevent our children from being delusional? Basically, how do we prevent our children, the people up under us, to realize that tiktok and all social media, that's not real, like, that's not real. So for me, I have. I literally have students who are beefing outside of school because of stuff that people are posting. Oh my, she posted my nudes.
Speaker 1:First of all, if somebody got your nudes, why did you take them? Why did you send them? So let's be clear You're a teenager, you're not supposed to be taking nudes anyway. You're definitely not supposed to send them. That's like, if you're going to take them and send them, you got to know how to do it and you got to know like, so like. I've had teenagers suicidal because somebody leaked their pics all over the school. Well, once again, you don't have problem solving, to know we don't send our nudes out One, you guys are under 18. And if you're under 18, it's child porn. So if somebody presses charges, you're going to jail somebody going to jail.
Speaker 1:So, like, it saddens me that our kids are going through this because they don't have problem solving and they don't know one how to, how to think outside the box, because they're delusional and they really think like those are my friends. I've heard, I've heard kids, those you know, those are my friends. You've never met them. I'm not ever going to say that you can't meet people and feel connected or bond because of social media, because of you can, but we don't. That could be AI. Like at this point, like I know kids who are talking to the AI thing like full blown conversations and it's responding like it's a peer. That's not weird to anybody. That's not weird Like, so I say that all that to say, like as a parent.
Speaker 1:If you are a parent or have any body under 18, I hope you go through their phones, please go to your kids phones and I know like, oh, I don't want them in my biz, I don't want to be in their business. Yes, you do, because if you're smart, you think about what you were doing as a kid. And they got phones and stuff. Like we had to like be real, real, real sneaky, like it wasn't, like, oh, I'm about to no, go through their phones, especially if you pay for it. Me, I paid for my first phone, so there wasn't a. I'm gonna go through your phone because I paid for it. But most kids you ain't got no jobs.
Speaker 1:If you're a parent, please go through your kids stuff please, because one they're not talking to us. Even I'm, you know, I'm a great auntie I got, you know, like they don't even talk to me about stuff. So you have to be snoopy, you have to, you have to, you have to. And if you don't have period controls, then you wonder why your kids are suicidal and your kids are trying to sneak out. I've heard so many stories of teenagers sneaking out to go through clubs and getting killed. You know why one they don't have older cousins and brothers.
Speaker 1:Or somebody say hey, I'm about to go such and such as an adult me and my friends we would share. Hey, I'm about to go over to such and such house. Here are his ID. This is where he stayed. This is license plate. We grown and we do that. Children don't think like that. They're not thinking about safety. So, as an adult, please go through your because, guess what, they're sneaky, because we were sneaky Like I don't know why adults be so upset, because if you think of what were you doing at 12, 13, being sneaky looking at stuff, oh my God, I found porn.
Speaker 1:Let me, let me see if I can. That's what they're doing. It's just accessible. They can just grab their phone and do it. So I'm encouraging you guys, as parents, as caretakers, if you have young people in your house, in your life, not even your house. I take my nephew's phones down like that. I don't care. Let me see your phone. Why? Because I'm not saying that your parents don't look, but I'm nosy, I don't know. I feel like you should be able to do that. So we have to be able to one, protect our, our young people and two, for them not to be delusional.
Speaker 1:Have conversations with your kids. Is it uncomfortable? Yes, are they going to want to talk to you? Probably not. But if you haven't created a space to be able to talk to them, guess what happens? They are succumbed to the delusions that are social media, because every person, as a young person, that's their peers. That is child development. All of us, even when we were younger, your friends mean more than your, than your family. But those of us who have great relationships, like I, tell people.
Speaker 1:My mom told me at eight I think I was eight, which is random she said at eight. She said you know what, if you ever get pregnant as a teenager, I'm still gonna love you and I'm not gonna kick you out. Now, mind you, I'm eight, I not fast. Why are we having this conversation at eight? You know why? Because when I was 14 and I could have got pregnant, I always knew I could have that hard conversation with my mom. So I'm encouraging you parents, please, please, please, try to set up some conversations for your kids. Make spaces.
Speaker 1:I saw something a while ago, I think I talked about where it was like a safe space, like have safe space conversations as a parent. Now, some parents don't know how to do that because you're going to remember what they said and get mad. You can't do that. If you know your kid is struggling and they're quiet and you say, hey, let's have safe space, you know you're not going to be in trouble. Then you have to take that time to learn your child Don't. Don't use it against them, because they're never going to talk to you again. They're going to be like, oh, we did safe space and guess what? Two days later I was grounded and you took my phone and you took all, all of my games.
Speaker 1:No, have a conversation, make a plan, be honest with your kids. I'm concerned that you're looking at these things. I'm concerned. I'm concerned that you're looking at these things. I'm concerned. I'm worried that you might go down. Have those conversations with your kids. Have a safe space, because if you don't talk to them, they're talking to their peers who are just as delusional as they are, or, even worse, they're going on social media to get even more delusions. And, as we know, social media is unhinged. There's no morality. There's no. There's the only thing on social media you can't say suicide or say gun or whatever, like they bleep that out, but guess what? They put other poison into it. So those are just some of my my takeaways from the social media. I hope that you guys enjoyed this episode. I'm so happy to be back with you guys and please go to my Instagram at CMChef underscore Chronicles and don't forget to allow your passion to prepare your purpose, and I'll catch you guys next time. Bye.