In this episode, I’m sharing my shadow aspects - the parts of me that have brought me the most shame throughout my life. When we don’t own the parts of us that bring us shame, they own us. They thrive in the dark, and they can absolutely contribute to unhealthy behaviors with food, exercise, body image, and more. I cover:
Feedback? Questions? Comments? Head on over to Instagram and let me know in my DMs!
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In this episode, I’m sharing my shadow aspects - the parts of me that have brought me the most shame throughout my life. When we don’t own the parts of us that bring us shame, they own us. They thrive in the dark, and they can absolutely contribute to unhealthy behaviors with food, exercise, body image, and more. I cover:
Feedback? Questions? Comments? Head on over to Instagram and let me know in my DMs!
FREE TRAINING
COURSES
Follow me on Tiktok: @jessiemgolden
Subscribe to my Youtube channel
[00:00:00] Welcome back to the Jesse Golden podcast. This episode is a juicy one. We are talking about the shadow aspects of ourselves and I'll be sharing my shadow aspects. Which are essentially the things that I am. Most insecure about, and that were hidden from me by myself. I had them from myself, parts of my brain, had them from other parts of my brain, from my I'm aware, from my awareness. And how that typically manifests is we project that outward. We took it away and then that shadows projected onto other people.
And the reason I'm talking about this is I had a couple of posts on Instagram, specifically about the scale, get a lot of feedback in my DMS and comments about. The insecurity and the shame that can come from the number on the scale. And my recommendation is meeting that monster of that number on the scale.
Head-on. [00:01:00] Walking up to it, looking at it, bringing it into light, staring at it so that it no longer owns us. And this concept bothers a lot of people because rather than just experience, Hey, this feels bad. And I don't like it. And rather than running away from that. I invite you to step into it. So that, that feeling dissipates, of course, the goal is not for you to sit there and shame yourself over and over and over again.
And I think some people perceived it as that they had an emotional reaction to. Step on the scale, my invitation. And they perceive that as you're just asking me to get on the scale when I'm 200 pounds and you're not 200 pounds. And so it's a lot easier for you. The entire point of what I was asking them to do was missed. Firstly, someone used my comments, the example of 180 pounds.
And it's easy for you to say as someone who's closer to 180 pounds, it's a lot harder. I was almost 180 pounds when I gained 30 pounds. And no one was saying, oh, it must be easy for you. And of course we're always be somebody who's heavier [00:02:00] than me. There will always be somebody heavier than the next person.
So at a certain point, yes. Society-wide am I shown certain privileges or advantages treated differently? Absolutely. I noticed a difference in the way that I was treated when I am at my current weight, versus when I was 30 pounds heavier. I understand that. So I'm not negating that whatsoever. But just saying, oh, at 180 pounds is harder.
I forced my ass to get on the scale when I was that heavy. And it was coming from a place of loving myself. I didn't want to be ashamed of myself to only conditionally. Be proud of myself. I'll only show myself to the world. And most importantly, this is the big thing. I'll only show myself to myself. If I look a certain way, if I have a certain amount of money, if I have a certain level of success, if I'm in a relationship, whatever it is. Obviously in the context of what we talk about around here, it's typically around food and body. So if I'm only [00:03:00] allowed to be proud of myself, if I look a certain way, otherwise, I should hide myself from me. Oh, no, don't show me that number because I'm going to be embarrassed.
I'm going to be ashamed of myself. That is what I don't want you to experience is shaming yourself. That's the whole point of getting over the sphere is that so you're no longer shaming. Yourself. So often what we're afraid of is not the guilting and the shaming and. The negative feedback from others.
We're afraid of it from our selves. So that is my invitation is for you to move through that. So this whole conversation prompted. Okay. What are some of my biggest insecurities and hopefully by sharing these things, which can be a little bit vulnerable and uncomfortable. Can this invite you to perhaps take a look at some of those things and what are the downsides to not owning our shadow aspects and what are the benefits? So what we don't own. About ourselves owned us. And shame loves to thrive in the dark Bernay brown has done amazing [00:04:00] work on shame as a shame researcher. Which is wild, but she is an incredible, I think a couple, few. Um, a couple of few, a few. Ted talks or YouTube videos.
And then she has several books. And Netflix special. I believe so. Absolutely looking to Bernay brown, if you're interested in this topic, but. Some things we do. Key is some things that we do. Some of our behaviors bring about healthy guilt. And this is great because it prevents us from harming art, others harming ourselves, violating our own core values. But this is different from believing that we are bad at our core. So, for example, when I was at a higher weight, when I had gained that 30 pounds. I didn't love the experience.
Right. And it wasn't because I was doing anything bad or I was people use the word, disgusting, whatever words you use to shame yourselves. It was not from that reason at all. I was actually taking care of myself. Now, some people might find [00:05:00] themselves in a position wherever there exist in their body.
And it's because they're not taking care of themselves. That's not the case, but even if that were true, let's say that you were not taking good care of yourself. You were neglecting your it's typically. Our body can reflect our mental and emotional health are not taking care of ourselves in that way.
So we use food. Or lack of movement, lack of food, whatever it might be in order to self-sooth. But in any event that's different from saying I am bad. You might be out of alignment with your behavior. And acknowledge that. Huh? My behaviors are not all in alignment with my core values. But that's different from you are bad. Who you are. Is shameful.
That's very, very different. We want to be careful not to be labeling ourselves as whole human beings as bad. So the way that shame can manifest and that I typically see with clients and I've experienced all of these myself. Is the scale. The [00:06:00] number on the scale, which is why I recommend stepping on it. I don't want you experiencing shame every time you think of the number on the scale.
Every time you go to the doctor's office, women writing me telling me that they avoid going to the doctor's office because of the scale. That is not what we want to rate. That is such a big monster. If you're neglecting, going to the doctor for your health because of a number. We're bigger than a number ladies.
Okay. Same thing with the number and your clothing sizes. I see this with women who wear jeans. And the dead of summer.
I was that person. Sweating my balls off because I couldn't wear shorts. Or there was a certain size. And I said, only if I'm XYZ size, will I wear this type of clothing?
I'm just going to have a meltdown in the dressing room. If I'm wearing this clothing size versus another one. Again, An inanimate object, a number. On a piece of fabric should not have that much power. Another way is [00:07:00] unable to not wear makeup. And yes, I understand people have different skin. And some of the most powerful women I've seen is when they finally, if they suffer from acne and admittedly, I have been genetically blessed with not having issues with my skin. I was of course made fun of when I was younger.
Cause I had so many freckles, people would say, oh, did you wipe your ass with your face? Poop face typically for my brother was the one who would say that, but of course it got on with other people and I totally laugh about it now. Everyone has their thing. Right. But some of the women who I think are the most powerful they're ones who have acne in their faces. And they go through these journeys of feeling so insecure and eventually they just decide, fuck it.
I'm going to own it. And they blossom. And interestingly enough. Their acne tends to go away after that. So just offering that as an observation. Or the idea that you must be perfectly put together. Right. We have to be perfectly put together and you'll see this. Correspond with some of my shadow aspects that I'll be getting into. [00:08:00] Ruminating on things that you said to other people. Not dating do to your body. Or being intimate due to your body. Hiding your food choices or secret eating. Not asking for help.
I can do it all myself. I can't be seen as somebody who needs help. God forbid. Uh, only showing the positive or hiding the quote unquote ugly parts of our emotions. The very human parts of all of us. Never wanting to be a burden. Having it altogether. So the shame, if we feel deeply like these things will prevent us from experiencing love and connection and belonging. That's a big threat to us. You have to remember that we come from a long line of needing that connection in order to survive. So if our brain perceives that, oh, no. If we show these things, we will be unloved.
We won't have connection. Then that feels truly terrifying. Like we will not be okay. We will not be safe. So it's a [00:09:00] very real feeling. You just have to challenge it. And desensitize ourselves to it. And at the root of shame is the belief. That something is wrong with us, that we are broken in some way that we are unworthy.
You love. Safety and belonging with these parts of us. So it's helpful is to picture yourself in the most shameful. Possible state. And this is a beautiful exercise from, to be magnetic. It's a manifestation process. I can look that up to T O B. Magnetic. And in one of the hypnosis tracks. She has you, the founder go into a state of what is the most grotesque shameful version of yourself?
What does that look like? And you get really clear on things that make you cringe. What traits would you just be like, oh, you almost want to disown yourself? Like, I don't know that person. That is [00:10:00] not me. Guess what. That is me. Those parts army. And by disowning those parts of me, how sad is that? That those parts of me. I don't receive any love, connection, belonging whatsoever, because I've deemed them worthy of love.
So the biggest one for me.
And we can typically tell if this is. Uh, a shadow aspect is that we have a strong, emotional response. To whatever the word is. If someone were to say you are X, Y, Z, If you were to spiral. I neither come up with absolutely not. No, I'm not. You are. That's typically what it is, right? Projection. Or we would just crumble. I feel so embarrassed to go, want to hide into a whole. Here are some of mine. All right.
Getting vulnerable here. First one is wasted potential. When I would think of what is the scariest thing that could happen to me, the thing that I would be [00:11:00] most ashamed of. What comes up for me first is wasted potential. And it runs so deep for me and I still have work to do around this. But this is driven so much of my overachievement and that girl boss life. And it's similar to laziness, right?
If someone were to say you're lazy, You had so much potential. I was born. With so many opportunities, so fortunate, so lucky. And this pressure that's deep. Pressure to, if you don't amount to something. You wasted it, you were a waste of opportunity. And that sounds dark and it sounds heavy, but that's what this stuff is.
It's going deep into the things that drive us. And the reason I'm talking about this work is it can really steer us away. From living life and treating ourselves well, living a life of alignment. And actually treating ourselves. Really well, because if I'm operating from this place of, I fear deeply.
This [00:12:00] concept of wasted potential. What does this lead to it's led to burnout. Several times. Seeking approval. Versus living authentically. Not being in tune with my own desires, because the only thing that matters is that I show that I'm not wasted potential. That I'm not lazy.
It led to CrossFitting well beyond what felt good to me, because I needed to prove that I could suffer the most. Completely overcompensating. Right. If I can control anything, it's my work ethic. And that is the one thing that I can control. No one can look at me and say she didn't try. Okay, well that we can take that way too far.
And I have absolutely.
And it's also led to realizing, and this is where it brings up the lack of alignment. I realized that I actually don't resonate with a lot of the masculine traits. That were shoved down my throat. And that are still shoved down our throats growing up.
I don't resonate [00:13:00] with the push and force and rigidity and sacrifice yourself at all costs.
Some people really resonate with that, and I love that for you. That is not really me. When I think back of who I really was. It was basically like any traits of mine. That were more stereotypically feminine.
We're viewed as Nope, not safe. You better not become that. And I think society as a whole has a real fear. Of those traits, both men and women alike. And I certainly fell into that category where it was like, Ooh, who wants to be. Softer or feminine or have any qualities, rest, pleasure, barf. That's so lame. That's for losers, right? We hustle.
We force, we grind. And I cut off all those parts of me. And for me, I need a balance and everyone's version of balance looks different. I would argue everybody needs a balance, but to have that balance, we need to integrate. Those parts of ourselves and actually make sure that I'm coming from a place [00:14:00] of true alignment. Well, yeah, there are times absolutely.
To push. And to be more structured. And to have a lot of discipline. And there are also times for the opposite, the yin parts of myself, where I am resting, where I'm enjoying pleasure and fun. And things that aren't rigid.
So leaning into more of that yin part of me, those traits that I completely disowned because of this fear, the shame. To me bringing back the feminine aspects of myself and you can use yen, whatever resonates with you is really scary. Actually, it's been very scary. But also healing because I was taught that those traits were unsafe. That they refer losers.
And so he disowned those parts of me. I tucked those into my shadow and I used to judge women who were like that. Helene. Right. They just want to enjoy things in life. Barf. So it feels scary. It does feel scary, but it's also so healing because that's actually who I [00:15:00] am deep down. I have a combination. Of yin and yang as we all do, but I need to integrate those yin qualities rather. Then putting those in my shadow, viewing that as lame.
Oh, she's weak. If she rests. And integrating those so wasted potential. You could also say that that's laziness or more feminine Aeon qualities. It's really stepping into those has been. The word triggering is overused, but you're very uncomfortable. But also very healing and that's usually the magic sauce is when both of those are occurring simultaneously. And. These qualities of wasted potential back in the day when I had a really terrible relationship with food in my body. Those drove some of my desires to be lean because I incorrectly associated leanness with discipline.
And if someone wasn't lean that, man, they just didn't want it hard enough. One at enough.
[00:16:00]
And that's not true. Right? There's so many factors that go into everybody's body composition. That's a very myopic immature way of looking at it, but that's what I associated that with. And that's what a lot of people still associate Lemus with. Is a virtue. Oh, you're just not disciplined. I you just, you're not trying hard enough.
You're just lazy. So dispelling that belief was really, really important. And again, Leaning into the aspects of me of, no, I'm not just going to compromise my wellbeing in order to uphold this image that other people. And mostly myself. Does that I don't disown myself out of shame. So, so much of this is are we disowning ourselves? The more, we look at ourselves for who we really are. The why that shame takes a back seat and realizes, okay, it's safe to be a human I'm.
Okay. It's all going to be okay. Uh, another shadow aspect for me. If someone were to call me this, Oop. Selfish mean or bad. [00:17:00] So taken to an extreme, this is where people pleasing came from for me for a very long time. And I've done a lot of work on this because sometimes I am selfish. And now I'm okay with people.
People perceiving me as selfish or saying that. I mean, because I have boundaries now. And there's still a part of me that is. I don't know where this comes from, but so worried about being a bad person, that I'm not a good enough person. And that's driven a lot of my behaviors of. Violating my own boundaries. For others. And truly to act from this place. Of just being so fearful.
And so I violate myself. That's actually a form of manipulation rather than true kindness because I'm not doing it from a place of, I want to do this. I'm doing it from a place of, I fear that I'm bad and that I'm going to be judged by myself and shame myself. So that's the reason I'm doing this and that's not healthy. And that just distorts your relationship with other people, right? Because you're not actually doing it because you want to, you're doing it out [00:18:00] of fear.
And then typically resentment builds on the other side of that. It's also led to me, attracting a lot of people who would dump emotionally and take advantage. Of my willingness to stretch myself way beyond my capacity. Whether that was clients, whether that was friends, family members. I was so worried about not being a good person, that I would just let people. Walk all over me. And then again, resentment would build on my end. And I avoided now.
I'm very good at this, but I avoided healthy confrontation and difficult discussions for a very long time. Because I didn't want to be perceived as the bad one and a lot of women. A lot of women suffer from this.
And the ironic thing with this one is it actually led to me being an unkind person in the end, because I got to a point of feeling so resentful and so taken advantage of and so violated, which again, I take full responsibility for, I allowed that to happen. But I ended up being [00:19:00] unkind and felt even more out of integrity by the end of these relationships.
And then of course burnout, once again. When you're so worried about being, oh my gosh, selfish, God forbid a woman wants something for herself and say no, and say, I can't help you. This is your journey to go on. I'm not going to get an meshed and your shit. Your stuff is your stuff. We all are responsible for handling out our own stuff. For so many women. And if you're not good at doing that yourself, you're going to perceive that as a woman being mean or bad. And again, that's our individual shit to handle. Instead, it would be beautiful to look at women who do that and say, wow.
Yes. More of that, please. You're showing me what is possible. If you struggle with that.
Okay. So the first two. Wasted potential or laziness or femininity, honestly. Secondly being selfish mean [00:20:00] or a bad person. And the flip side of this, the third one is being cocky or self-centered. Another very common one for women. So I was told as a child. It doesn't matter by whom. That I thought too highly of myself.
And I was probably, I don't know, 10, 12 years old before I even knew what the hell that even meant. Right. I was just living my life. Feeling confident, enjoying things. And it was shocking to me to hear. You think too highly of yourself, you need to hold your head down lower. Whoa. Okay. So that's bad too. To feel confident. Is a bad thing. To like yourself as a bad thing. And from that, there was a lot of projection of making other girls and even grown women.
It was bizarre. Feel insecure. So, what does this do? If we get any glimmer, we know how women can be to one another, right? Let's not pretend. You see a woman who's confident in, who owns herself walking into a room. Oftentimes she becomes a target. 'cause that's triggering to women. [00:21:00] Because they have that in their own shadow. They are so worried. About being confident and presenting S a woman who owns herself. That rather than own that part of her, she says, no, I would shame myself for that.
So I'm going to shame this woman for that.
For being self-confident. What a crime, right? So this leads to all women. Playing really, really small. It's the secret. Little hidden part of being a woman in society today is that no one wants anyone else to stand out because everyone knows that if they stand out. They are going to be shunned by every other woman.
So everyone's in this. Fucked up little circle. Uh, feeling like everyone needs to play their part B super small. Don't ever challenge another woman's perception of herself. I call bullshit. Right. Let's celebrate women being bigger. Expressing themselves fully. And if that makes [00:22:00] you feel something. It's probably because you're shaming yourself. For becoming bigger.
For fully expressing yourself for owning yourself, being confident. And so I would absolutely recommend that you surround yourself with women who not only celebrate themselves.
In their fullness, but also you, and typically those go hand in hand.
And so this led to me playing really small. Oh, my gosh, I don't want another woman or another girl. Typically this was very much in my childhood to feel badly. Any time, and this goes back to right. The other shadow of, I don't want to be perceived as bad or mean. So if another girl. These days, a woman. He feels bad. As the way from just simply me living my life.
Oh my gosh. I did something wrong. I'm bad. That's still sometimes my initial reaction is I fucked up. I did something wrong. If another person feels bad, it's all my fault. No. Not the case. This also led to not [00:23:00] wanting to attract too much attention. Again, like I said, that fucked up circle that so many women are in we're all in it together.
Right. No one wants to attract too much attention. Cause then you're a target of all the other women. So everyone's secretly playing small and doesn't want anyone to get too big. 'cause you know what happens if you get too big, because guess what? You do it to other women too. I've definitely played into this myself until I said, wait a minute, this is my shit. Totally unfair. And it's usually that wound of someone did that to you when you were younger. Like that happened to me. Of how dare you.
If you get too big, we're going to talk shit about you and make you feel ashamed of it. And so you think it's unsafe to do that and you do that to other women. So we all have to get pulled out of this. Terrible pattern together.
And this is why if, when I see. Women just outright unfollow or not support women who are doing quote unquote better than them, which is the better. That is just such an unhelpful term. It really bothers [00:24:00] me because women deserve to thrive and not apologize for it. So rather than if you see someone on social media, Who's thriving.
Maybe you're struggling in your business. I've totally been in this place. And then you see women thriving. Sometimes the first instinct is to be like, oh fuck this. I don't want to follow this person. Cause it makes me feel uncomfortable. Right. Going back to the scale. And I've learned to say no, I'm going to sit here and celebrate her. And I'm going to. Cheer her on and feel so much better that way. And that way, you know, that you are cheering yourself on at the same time, it really is an extension in a mirror. Our relationships with other women and how we celebrate them versus tear them down. It's a reflection of what we do to ourselves. So rather than unfollow a woman. Who might make you feel insecure or rather. Who leads to you, allowing yourself to feel insecure? I would challenge that. And notice the dialogue that comes up in your brain. About what that means about [00:25:00] you. I know that it's bushes, it's just a story.
And do you are shaming yourself?
No one else is shaming. You. It's not a zero sum universe. We all get to win. Another woman winning does not mean that you are losing at all. If anything, if you unfollow, you're telling your brain, Nope. That's not safe to have. Because we know what happens when you get that. A bunch of women are gonna sit around and talk shit about you.
Just like I'm doing right now. Right. So we have to reframe these stories, but this is all about relationship with self. So own it. If you are notice yourself being uncomfortable because you're walking into a room. And you are feeling so good about yourself. You might see some women whisper, whatever it is. Keep on doing your thing.
Hold your head up high. And do not shame yourself. If people say, oh, you make me feel XYZ. I see this all the time with women. On Instagram, where people were write them, content creators. I follow. And say used to be relatable. It's like, oh [00:26:00] my gosh, how dare she? Chase her dreams and become so successful that someone can't relate to her. Like, why does she owe anyone?
Relate-ability no one owns anybody else. Hold your head up high. And celebrate that within yourself and others.
Now the fourth one. And this is a big one for me. Is neediness. And this became clear to me because I used to really judge this and other people. So projection is one of the easiest ways to see, okay, where are some of my shadow aspects? Sometimes. Yes, it's just purely values-based right. If someone is being. Really loud and obnoxious.
That's just doesn't vibe with me. It's just not a preference. Not my type of person. Okay, no harm, no foul. But. Or if someone is actually unkind. Or if someone is abusive in some way, right? There are certain values where it's just, no, we need judgment. Judgment is healthy [00:27:00] to make sense of the world. That's different from some someone being needy. Okay.
That doesn't impact me. And any way. But the visceral reaction and you can say, okay, well, how is MIDI different? From somebody else who's just loud and obnoxious. The difference is the type of emotional reaction I would have. So someone loud or obnoxious might be like, okay, this is just annoying. But I don't have an emotional response to it. Meatiness I would have an emotional response to it.
It would give me the EC. Make my skin crawl. I'll be like, oh, that person is so needy. Judging this another people. And this is because I would judge myself for needing others. I viewed that as shameful. God forbid I ever need to rely on somebody else. And I have talked about this in some previous episodes, but if you're familiar with attachment styles, I have leaned done a lot of work on this, but in the past, I've leaned more on the avoidance scale. [00:28:00] So for me. Most of my life, I operated from a place of, I don't want to have to rely on other people. That was a pillar of strength.
Kept me safe. Didn't want to trust other people. So then to see that neediness was like, oh, hell no. So the way I handled that, that shadow aspect was just saying, I will never be needy. I will be hyper independent and that's in a healthy, So that's how that manifested for me. Not speaking my needs. Because I didn't want to be perceived as needy.
That was the worst thing that I could be perceived at as neat is needy. Worrying constantly about talking about myself too much. Oh, my gosh, God forbid, I'm sitting here in a conversation and it's focused on me too much. I can't have that because that shows that I'm needy. That I need that attention, right. Or don't express my emotions for fear of looking weak or burdening people. And it still pops up sometimes, but I've gotten so much better [00:29:00] with this one. But still, if someone were to call me needy, I would say. Hmm.
Don't love that, but it doesn't have nearly the emotional response that it used to, where that would be like, oh, You want to insult me? Call me maybe. Cause sometimes I am needy. Sometimes I do need people. Sometimes I really need to rely on lean on other people and that's very healthy and that's very, very normal. So these are four of my biggest shadow aspects. I have others for sure. But I thought that these would be some of the most relatable for women as well.
And these things no longer own me.
They might still bother me sometimes, but they, I hear talking about them. Right. If you have trouble even acknowledging a trait about yourself, then that's pretty clear sign that it's probably shadow aspect for you. But they no longer own me because I decided to look at them and say, I'm not perfect. I'm a human being. I have aspects of myself. That? Yes. If I could pretend that I was a robot, I would not have, but that's not the way the [00:30:00] world works and I don't want to be a robot. I want to be a human. So you brought them to light. And I sat with the discomfort of someone calling me these. I had a business coach. She told me to. Picture my biggest fear, not biggest.
One was the wasted potential. And to picture. Okay. What would be the outcome? If at the end of my life, I looked at myself and was like, you wasted it. You started with all these beautiful opportunities and you did not become who you wanted to become. And it was so painful to sit with that reality. And actually go through it and say,
Could I accept myself. If at the end of my life, that was my reality. And eventually the answer was yes, I could. But your ego, our ego fights that so strongly. Fights that worst case scenario of what I truly, and remember, it's about our relationship with ourselves. Could you truly love yourself? Forget about other people.
You. Being in relationship with yourself. That's what all of my [00:31:00] work inside of food. Freedom evolution is about is I want you guys to develop these beautiful deep. Unconditional. Respectful relationships with yourselves.
And. I have to do the work to. So sitting in that if you can picture what is the most shameful version of myself and could I still love myself? And yet it's uncomfortable and your ego wants to squirm and say, no, you'll just never be that. We're just going to deny that you would ever, ever become that, that you have any aspects of that. And that's what it does.
It gets clever. But you have to lean in and slowly go slowly shine the light on these parts of yourselves and say, I still love you. Those parts of you.
And I felt the shame and I realized it just wasn't mine. All of that shame was placed on me. I didn't come into the world feeling ashamed of any part of me. It's other people projected their shame onto me. And I took it on as my own.
And so you can just give it back to whoever gave it to you. [00:32:00] And say, wow, I adopted that in order to protect myself. That's what we do. We bring shame because our ego thinks, oh my gosh. I have to hide this part of myself in order to protect myself against being unloved, being alone. What a beautiful thing.
Thank you so much. Ego for trying to protect me. But I love you still. So there's no point. And going into that place. Once you meet your ego with a sense of love and just curiosity and say it's okay. I love you. Anyway, then the ego gets quiet. It doesn't feel the need to be on this constant roller coaster. And trying to jockey. So that you're not seeing parts of yourselves that you don't want to see.
And I had to accept that I am these things in some way. I'm not perfect. That was another one for me. Another big word was perfect.
I have. Had people call me. Oh, Ms. Perfect. A couple of times throughout my life. And it [00:33:00] just annoys the utter shit out of me because I am a human. And if you put me on a pedestal of, oh, she's little miss. Perfect. That brings out. And I, it's not my shit anymore, but this used to really bring out this feeling of, oh my God, there's only one way to go.
If someone puts me on a pedestal like that, and that is down. So the pressure. Would just be so immense and that would really tie into the wasted potential. Of. She has to be perfectly put together at all times. I talk about suffocating. Talk about leading to burnout, right? And so many women's struggle with that.
The perfectionism. We're all messy humans guys. And if you feel called to, you can even share your shadow aspects to me in Instagram, if you want hopping over to the DMS and just share a post-it or an even bigger challenge would be to post it on your own stories or make a post about it. The things that you feel shame about, bring it into light. Stop letting it own.
You sapling the scale and you post your weight. [00:34:00] Post your clothing sites who gives a shit, show your skin. Without makeup on. To yourself in the ways that you feel like are the most unlovable, cringy versions of yourselves. And show yourself. Remember it's about you showing you that you are still lovable. Regardless. So it really hoped that this was helpful.
This absolutely translates into so many aspects of how we treat ourselves with food exercise, of course, body image. And if you'd like to dive deeper into this work, I have my food freedom evolution course linked in the show notes. Or you can start with my free training, the four-step framework to stop obsessing about food, which is in the show notes as well. If you feel so-called, if this has been helpful or any of my episodes, please hop on over and leave a review.
Give me five star rating. I so much appreciate it. This beautiful relationship that we have together. I wouldn't be here without you guys. And it inspires me to keep going and provide value for you. So. I will see you all in the next episode.