As you may know, protecting your relationships with food is my primary focus and is one of the core values of my business. In fact, I was hesitant to even come out with an intentional fat loss course, because I wanted to be absolutely sure that women could *repeatedly* get lean without destroying their relationship with food in the process. Good news - you can! However, you need to have a few things in place. In this episode, I’m sharing six keys to keeping your sanity as you get lean.
In this episode, I cover:
Feedback? Questions? Comments? Head on over to Instagram and let me know in my DMs!
FREE TRAINING
COURSES
Follow me on Tiktok: @jessiemgolden
Subscribe to my Youtube channel
As you may know, protecting your relationships with food is my primary focus and is one of the core values of my business. In fact, I was hesitant to even come out with an intentional fat loss course, because I wanted to be absolutely sure that women could *repeatedly* get lean without destroying their relationship with food in the process. Good news - you can! However, you need to have a few things in place. In this episode, I’m sharing six keys to keeping your sanity as you get lean.
In this episode, I cover:
Feedback? Questions? Comments? Head on over to Instagram and let me know in my DMs!
FREE TRAINING
COURSES
Follow me on Tiktok: @jessiemgolden
Subscribe to my Youtube channel
Welcome back to the Jessie Golden podcast. We are talking about the six keys to getting lean without ruining your relationship with food. So if you're not familiar with the whole ethos of my business, my work that I do, I started off helping women heal their relationships with food through my signature course, food freedom evolution. And for the longest time, I did not think that I would ever be helping women intentionally lose weight. Until. I started to have women come to me who were struggling with their relationship with food and also were in a body that they did not love the appearance of. And at the time, I didn't have clarity around my own values when it came to. Intentional weight loss, body image. While also being a huge advocate of women, having a healthy relationship with food. I didn't see clear cut examples of those two things being possible at the same [00:01:00] time.
And also. I honestly was just taking on the values and the beliefs of other people who are very vocal in the anti diet space saying that all intentional weight loss is bad. So, unfortunately it kind of went along with that in the beginning of my business. And I distinctly remember telling a woman that I couldn't help her because she wanted to lose weight and looking back, I wish I could just give her a hug and be like, I'm so sorry. I was just too young and quite frankly, ignorant to really know the full scope of what I was saying and my perspective and that perspective that I took on as my own. So once I started to see that from other women, I started to question things and he started to do research into intentional weight loss. Is it possible to do it sustainably? You know, everyone was saying, there's no way you can lose weight because the body will just fight back and always go back to a predetermined set point, no matter what. So with that statement. It [00:02:00] can be easy to say, okay, well then all is lost.
And if you are helping women with weight loss, You're doing them a disservice because inevitably they're going to end up where they were. And the more I dug into the statement do, does the metabolism. Want to hold onto body fat. Yes, because we have evolved. To not starve to death. Being obese and being overweight is a relatively recent and new phenomenon for human beings for our species.
So are. Biology has not yet caught up to that. Now that being said, what I started to do was really look at people who were successful. And so that showed my brain. Okay. It is possible. Now research also is studying what are the key differences between those who actually keep the weight off long term?
So much of it is behavioral. And environmental to a certain degree. Absolutely. But also the approach that they take. And I started studying. Okay. How does the metabolism actually work? And I'm going off on a [00:03:00] bit of a tangent here, but that part is so important. That's why. Shout it from the rooftops and my content is understanding how your body works is so vitally important for you maintaining the results long term and the big topic here. Is how do we do that while also maintaining your relationship with food?
Because if we can't have those two things simultaneously. Then the mental health component is usually more important. It is to me, usually is to, to clients. And that's what I want for people. Right. Because eventually if you lose the weight and you're just trapped in hell in your own head, what the fuck is the point? And I understand there are nuances because some people that are struggling with. Issues with their health.
There's this as a result of their body composition, let's say they might have obesity. I understand that too. However, you can lose weight. You can pursue those goals while doing it in a way that is respectful towards your mind and your body. So we're going to talk about that. The six keys to getting lean without ruining your [00:04:00] relationship with food.
And I would say maintaining your positive relationship with food. Because going into SLA. Sustainable Uline academy, or if you decide to pursue intentional fat loss in another way. I highly, highly, highly recommend. I would say it's a requirement that you have a healthy relationship with food before you go in. Otherwise, you're not going to stand a fucking chance of maintaining the results anyway.
So why even put yourself through that? And usually the resistance is, but I don't like my body right now. That is what the, the hunt that people need to get over is saying for a period of time, I'm going to learn to accept. This body that I'm in right now. And I know it won't be forever. And you don't have to love the way it looks, but can you just accept yourself as a whole fucking human being in this body right now and treat yourself with respect regardless of the way you look. Knowing that down the road. You can absolutely achieve that. Can absolutely get leaner, but you refuse to do it while treating yourself like shit. And you can think about this in the context of let's say money. [00:05:00] Money's often tied to a lot of men's self-worth and women too, but stereotypically a lot of men.
And imagine if men in the world today, if we looked at them and said, you need to view yourself like a piece of shit until you are where you are financially, until you are where you want to be financially. You need to view yourself as trash until you get there. I mean, that would be so abusive and so cruel you, that is the standard that women set for themselves is I'm not going to accept myself until I look the way that I want. No, you can pursue the financial goals, right?
Everyone can pursue their financial goals, be really kind and accepting of your human self along the way. You can pursue. Those fat loss, physique body goals when the time is right. So you're not harming yourself mentally and physically and treat yourself all along the way. So let's get into the six keys. Number one is you have to accept the law of thermodynamics. Which is energy balanced calories in. Calories [00:06:00] out, and this is a complex equation. But if you don't first accept the law of thermodynamics, that it is about calorie balance energy balance.
This is a law of physics guys. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Now hormones can also absolutely impact our appetite. Our energy levels, our sleep, our energy output. So these things impact. The calories in calories out equation, but ultimately it comes down to calories. And this alone will save so many women from orthorexic beliefs.
And if you haven't heard that term, it's an obsession with healthy eating and unhealthy obsession with healthy eating, where they just are fearful of anything that is not quote unquote clean or natural. And these behaviors and beliefs are not rooted in science. And I've seen women where they're afraid of everything, anything that has a. Package on it.
And I think that it comes in wrapping. That comes from the grocery store that is not pure and whole, and they're just afraid of everything. And they think, [00:07:00] well, the key to having a lean body is avoiding all these things, or oftentimes it's their key to health, which is also not true. Our bodies are not that fragile. But if you understand that it's not about avoiding sugar and croissants and ice cream and wine, you can incorporate those things to varying degrees person, a person. But most people can incorporate those things.
Certainly when you're maintaining and even still, while you're losing weight. You just have to do it intelligently. Because at the end of the day comes down to calorie balance. You need to understand that. And you can go look up on YouTube or on the internet if you want. I think it's several men who've done this. I don't, I haven't seen examples of women, but who've shown that they've lost, you know, 30 pounds in two months just eating McDonald's. To show people that it is about energy balance. So that's the first thing, just accept the law of thermodynamics. Number two is learning how your metabolism works. So, as I mentioned, it is calories in [00:08:00] calories out, but it's also complicated.
So think of that as. The base layer. Then underneath that base layer, we have an iceberg of different factors that impact both sides of that equation. So your body might shift its desire for calories also known as our appetite and lower satiety.
And it also shifts calories out based on many factors.
And it protects the trust in your body. So when you understand the way your metabolism is working and why things are happening, why it's adapting. Then rather than looking at your body being like, oh my God, you're at war against me. Like, you are broken, something is wrong with you. You can understand what's happening.
And you're like, oh, I'm on the same team as my body. I get what's happening here. Jess said in this lesson that this is what happens. This was what could happen. And this is how I adjust. And this is normal. This is to be expected. So it really maintains that trust with your body. And it also prevents that more as more a mentality. Because when you understand that you actually don't want to do more as [00:09:00] more, sometimes that can work, but usually it doesn't, especially for an extended period of time. Doing more, just pushing more, less food, more of a calorie deficit, more exercise at a certain point. Things will stop working and they will backfire. And this also ensures that your physical health is valued.
So in order to really stay connected to your metabolism and how it's responding. When I say metabolism that refers to. The calories in calories, eight calories out. Equation. You have to be really closely connected to your biofeedback, to what your body's saying. So this ensures that your physical health. Is not being jeopardized because you're in tune. Okay, so that's the second one.
It's learning how your metabolism works. First one is accepting the law of thermodynamics. So you don't go down the squirly rabbit hole with being afraid of food.
Number three is getting clear on your personal values and your boundaries. So what are you not willing to sacrifice in [00:10:00] order to get leaner? Maybe it's certain times occasions with your family. Maybe it's going on a family vacation and being able to enjoy that. And yes, you can absolutely do that. While still maintaining or achieving your goals. What lines will you draw in the sand?
Maybe it's I will draw a line in the sand once my body starts to feel like X. 'cause eventually for most people, the stress of being in a calorie deficit. For either. And a degree of aggression. So depending how big your calorie deficit is, or for an extended period of time. Usually your body will start to say, Hey, we've had enough of this.
You need to know where that boundary is for yourself. And then when it comes to impacting other areas of your life, Are you starting to notice that, oh, if I'm thinking about food and my body too much, to the point where it's impacting my career, my relationships, just my enjoyment of life. That's a sign I need to pull the plug. So you have to have very clear boundaries. With yourself and your strategy when you're pursuing this stuff. You can't mess around with [00:11:00] it. Truly. And get clear on what values come before getting leaner in your life and ensure that your strategy protects those. I have so many clients who are mothers and being able to cook with their families, eat with their families.
Still enjoy. Let's say a donut with their kids. And of course you can adjust different factors in here. Right. But still being present for these moments is very, very important to them. And you absolutely. Can incorporate those into your strategy while seeing results. No more of this. Oh my God. I have to buy an entirely different grocery list and eat out of Tupperware where everyone else is going out and enjoying themselves. We're not doing that. Crazy bodybuilding life.
And you're not crazy if you enjoy that, but I'm saying for the average person that is just so farfetched and you do not have to do that.
And number four is using a strategy that is suited to you. This is important to you. We'll stand on the mountain top and shout this to you. [00:12:00] You do not need to track if that does not suit you.
Spend enough time on social media and everyone would tell you, you need to be tracking your macros. Otherwise you'll never reach your goals. Guys people have lost weight and got leaner before the invention of the iPhone. It's not a requirement. Can it be a helpful tool? Yes. Are there a myriad, other ways you can do it also?
Yes. It is a tool. It is one option of many. So many other ways you can do it. And it's important, and this is so key when it comes to your mindset, but the strategy is you have to reinforce to yourself that you are in control, meaning that you have freedom. And autonomy. In the way that you are even this goal that you're pursuing, you have to remember, you can opt out at any point in time.
You have autonomy, you can say I'm going to try tracking for two weeks.
Then if I don't like it, I'm going to try something else. Great. It's when you get in this head space of, I have to do it this way that someone else told me I have to do it otherwise. I'm never going to achieve anything and I'm going to be trapped in this position forever. And it starts [00:13:00] to induce that feeling of panic. And scarcity. And that's when we start to feel that anxiety.
That's when we start to look at food differently, our bodies differently. Relax, you can exit the process at any time. Remember you're a grown adult. No one is chaining you to a fucking diet or a list of foods or even tracking. You can do this in any way. That feels good to you. And don't follow women who do things that make you feel constricted, or like there's just one way of doing things. Any good coach will say, this is the way that I typically see done. But you can absolutely do it in these ways, or this is just the way I help women do it, but I can refer you to someone. Who can show you a different way, because I understand there's not just one way for everybody. And if you're not following people who reinforce that, then stop following them. And in fact, just fill your feed if you're on Instagram, which is where most of my millennial and older ladies are, uh, ticktock is quite the, quite the youngster platform, but I do enjoy it. [00:14:00] Go find women who eat. And move and live their lives very differently.
It'll show your brain. There are many, many ways to do thanks to stay healthy, to get fit, to get lean, whatever you want to do. There are many ways to skin, a cat. Okay. So that's number four is use a strategy that is suited to you.
Number five is having an exit strategy. You need to make it. And this goes back to boundaries, very clear to yourself when you'll pull the plug. If you need to, whether that's physical boundary, mental boundary, emotional boundary, just life boundary. This mindset shift alone can provide so much relief. Especially if you came from a background of shaming and guilting yourself,
Giving yourself that compassionate permission slip to say, Hey, I've had enough of this.
I'm done. Wonderful. Remember, this is why I always go back to you're an autonomous grown ass woman. You're not taking orders from anyone. You're not a child in a classroom. And we're going to get a slap on the wrist. [00:15:00] You are a grown woman. You have to come to the table with that energy of I'm calling the shots now for myself. And if you're not there yet.
So I have somebody women's start with food, freedom evolution, because it instills that I trust myself. I lead myself with self-respect connection to myself and what I value. Then when you have that foundation down, pat. All the stuff that I'm talking about right now, all my FFE ladies are like, yeah, yeah. Like I've already done this shit.
I know it. This is why we start there. But I'm reinforcing this. Cause I hope you guys are already there if you're thinking about intentional weight loss, but if you're not, this is a good reminder. And heed the warning. If you're like, oh my God, I have so much work to do in my relationship with food. No worries.
Time's going to pass anyway, guys, just take your time through the process, do it the right way. Go work on your mindset first. Then come back. I promise you. Every single one of my clients has gotten the best results in SLA it's because they came in the door. With a strong relationship with food. First. [00:16:00]
And number six, realistic timing. Don't attach a strict timeline to your goals. If you're coming to the table with this. Oh my God. Frantic. I have to look. Lien for my wedding in 10 weeks, then you're going to probably violate some of your boundaries. And that's just the way it is. If you are feeling forced to do things you don't want to do, if your strategy aligns perfectly with all of your boundaries, that's wonderful. But if you can, and I would invite you to just not attach a timeline to your goal. You can have a general timeline, but typically a woman have more body fat to lose. Then they think they do in order to get the look that they want. And B it also takes longer. So if you're thinking, oh, I want to look leaner for summer. Then I would absolutely recommend that you get started with us in February. I see so many women jump on this and may. It's like, if you want to get lean for summer may is not the time to [00:17:00] start. You need to be starting in February, March timeframe. Too, but even then don't attach strict timelines to your goals. For me when I realized that I was finally in a place to intentionally get leaner, my nervous system could handle it.
My mind, my, my lifestyle to point. That point, which is so chaotic. I did not attach any timeline. I. I gave myself who it could take years. That's totally fine. Easy does it, and guess what it was so chill, so relaxed, so enjoyable because I didn't have this urgency in this desperation behind it. I just said it happens when it happens.
And this is the last time I'm gonna lose it. So what the fuck is the rush? There's literally no point in rushing.
Give yourself years. I know that can feel. Oh, it can feel heavy if you're like, I just have been trying so hard to reach these results. Let's say you came from years and years. Sometimes decades of trying to lose weight. And then you maybe took six months a year to work on your [00:18:00] relationship with food.
And you're like, fuck, you're telling me to wait. Another year, another two years. I know that that can be hard to stomach, but again, it's the last time that, so you need to think this is the last time I'm going to do it. If you almost every woman I know has a history of years, at least of trying to lose weight. With nothing to show for it. Meaning they've maintained their weight.
If not gotten heavier each time. So if you really zoom out and you think, okay, well, logically if I've spent. 2 5, 10, 20 years. Trying to lose weight and I don't have anything to show for it. And now I have an approach that can actually do it the right way. And I'll keep the results. Then two years is like a blip on the radar, right?
I'm not saying it'll take two years. For a lot of women, they can see results faster than that, but that just alleviates a lot of that pressure, which is what we're focused on here. And don't compare yourself to women who are losing a lot of weight in 12 weeks. [00:19:00] Consider. Where the likely be 12 weeks after that or what may happen to their relationship with food? And I'm not saying that this happens to all women who do 12 weeks crush it.
Some women are great at that and they know what they're doing. They have a stable foundation and they kick ass and they maintain it. That's amazing. For a lot of women, they go on these three months challenges. And they don't focus at all on the sustainability. They take these sweet before and after pictures, and then you look at them in a year and they've already rebounded back to where they are. So that's what we want to avoid.
Plus they all were, all they were focused on was how can I get a good before and after photo and get lean for this vacation or for summer? And then their relationship with food suffered as a result. So you don't know what's happening just by looking at these flashy before and after photos, which is why I really try beside for myself because it's me.
And I know my experience. Try not to show those because it can give the experience of it can give a false impression rather. And I would [00:20:00] love to show before and after photos of clients, when you get to that point. Of women who've lost the weight and maintained it for three, five plus years. That is something that I want to celebrate all while maintaining a beautiful relationship with food.
But SLA, honestly, hasn't been out that long. So. We'll get there. We will get there. And for now I am. The. The show buddy. For that. For that experience with my own experience of losing those 30 pounds and maintaining. So these are the six keys, quick little recap. Number one, except the law of thermodynamics.
It does come down to energy balance. And I just realized, I called her to show bunny. It's a show pony.
Number two, learn how your metabolism works. Number three, get clear on your personal values and your boundaries. Number four uses strategy that is suited to you.
Number five, have an exit strategy and number six have realistic. Timing. Remember guys, [00:21:00] the whole point of this, we have our boundaries is we're not just getting lean. We're doing it while maintaining our sanity with food. Maintaining a beautiful peaceful. Enjoyable nourishing relationship with food along the way, or having that soft life fat loss, that peaceful experience treating yourself really fucking well along the way. All right.
So this is going to be. Last call for joining in. SLA, because let's see, this will be released on Thursday and the door is open Friday. So. The 26th I believe is when the doors open to everyone who is not on the wait list. Yes, January 26. And then they close on February 2nd. So, if you want to get your butt into SLA, jump on over to Instagram, make sure you're on the email list.
If you have any questions, pop on over to my DMS and Instagram and let me know to make sure that you get in on this round. Love you [00:22:00] guys. I will see you in the next episode.