123. 5 keys to feminine energy while getting lean

In this podcast, I'm sharing 5 keys to incorporating feminine energy into your weight loss process. These have been essential for me to lose the 30 lbs I gained in 2019 while enjoying the process, protecting my relationship with food, and feeling food physically along the way!

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome back to my YouTube channel guys, or my podcast, if that is where you are listening, either, or, and if you're listening on the podcast and you're saying, I want more visual, you want to see my face, then definitely head on over to YouTube. Today, we are discussing a topic that has been very poignant for me over the last several years.

The combination of getting leaner, how to actually do that while integrating feminine energy, which has been very top of mind for me for the last several years for a variety of reasons. So I'm going to first go into my backstory of what led me to integrating these two concepts. And then I will go through the five things that you need in order to get leaner while enjoying the process, incorporating that feminine energy.

Let's get into it.

So for a brief overview of my history, I had a negative relationship with food for about nine years. And because of that, I associated weight loss with suffering, with misery, with mistreating yourself mentally and physically. So once I improved my relationship with food, I was in a really good spot. [00:01:00] I honestly never thought that I would intentionally lose weight ever again.

And there's a variety of reasons for that. Firstly. I was fine with my body weight, but also I didn't think that I could respect myself, my mind or my body while also getting leaner. So I said, well, I'm gonna have to choose one or the other. I'm going to choose myself. But then. Luckily, I learned so much more about how fat loss actually works, the science behind it, how you can do it in a way that is actually respectful.

And I ended up actually gaining 30 pounds in six months in 2019 due to some chronic health issues that led to me eating more and moving less. I didn't just assimilate body fat on my body through osmosis. It happened through energy balance, which I'll discuss here in a little bit. But it was the perfect opportunity for me to put into practice the combination of the science of getting leaner while also incorporating feminine energy into the process.

So the first step to getting leaner in more of that soft life, feminine energy way was getting clear on my boundaries and [00:02:00] this might seem counterintuitive, but a really important part of a person of us individually leaning into more of that feminine energy, which is relinquishing control Is having a sense of safety, having a sense of boundaries, which is more of that masculine energy.

And this is what a lot of people miss in the conversation when it comes to feminine energy. And I did for a really long time is the importance of healthy. Masculine energy, distorted masculine is going to be excessively rigid, excessively controlling, whereas healthy masculine is going to give structure, but it's life giving structure.

It's supportive structure. So the first thing I did was get clear on my boundaries. What was really important to me first and foremost, outside of physical results. Number one, protecting my relationship with food was a non negotiable. Number two was working with my body and making sure that I was paying attention to my body's feedback and really honoring my body's health and well being along the way.

And thirdly was protecting my other important life values along the way. So relationships, I had sacrificed a lot of that years prior when [00:03:00] I had a really negative relationship with food. I would be more isolated. I would not go out to dinners. I would not go do things with people because they needed to be so controlled.

And rigid. So other life values that are important to me, we're working on my career, making sure that I was treating myself well enough to show up to work in a functional way to be spontaneous, to be adventurous, to go travel. These things are really important to me. And I was not willing to sacrifice these things, which really contribute to my overall wellbeing in order to get leaner.

Now, did some sacrifices need to be made as compared to my maintenance lifestyle? Of course, these are super subtle and we'll get into those here in a second.

The second step was the masculine science. So once again, the masculine energy when it's healthy, masculine energy is supportive. It allows our feminine to relax. So we want to leverage science, which ensures that we're actually following something that is going to lead to results. We're not just here to sit back and say, Cross my fingers.

I hope something happens. We want to actually have the result [00:04:00] of getting leaner, uh, fat loss. So we want to learn the science of what actually matters versus what doesn't. This allows us to focus on the big rocks and let all the details that do not matter. Go. And this is what frees up so much of your mental space.

Firstly, you're not spending so much time and energy on things that don't move the needle, like eating super clean and avoiding all sugar and staying away from this, that and the other ingredients. Those things don't matter. They just don't. What matters at the end of the day is energy balance, which is calorie balance.

That is what reigns supreme. It's a law of physics. We also want to have an understanding of how the metabolism works. It is dynamic in nature, so you need to understand how the body is going to adapt as you get leaner as you lose body weight and also how it goes in the opposite direction. The metabolism down regulates and it also up regulates understanding how to transition from fat loss into maintenance and also having a high level understanding of nutrition and exercise as well.

This is especially pertinent if you want to be building [00:05:00] muscle. Because once again, you don't want to be going into the gym, just doing random workouts and hoping for results. You want to have that science as the underbelly, as your support system. So, you know, when I am doing this, I know this is going to lead to results and I don't need to worry about the details.

This frees up so much time and energy and mental bandwidth for you to focus on pleasure, which is a key part of feminine energy.

It also just simply allows you to relax and trust the process. You get to lean back and say, as long as I'm following the things that actually lead to results, not because I'm guessing, not because I'm just copying what some other woman did, which is correlation. You're just hoping, if I do Pilates and drink green juice and I walk that I'll lose weight.

That's not how it works. That is correlation, you're associating those things with losing weight rather than focusing on the actual root cause, which was energy balance or calorie balance. So once you focus on the root cause, then you get to sit back and relax and say, it's only a matter of time until I get [00:06:00] to my goal.

And that is the most calming and soothing part of this.

The third step to get into your feminine energy while getting leaner is a personalized strategy. So once you have that science and you know, okay, these are the things that I actually need to focus on to get to my goal energy balance. As an example, then you get to customize your actual strategy to you.

And this is such a beautiful part. So you don't have to track your food. If you don't want to 50 percent of my clients inside of sustainably lean Academy do track about 50 percent don't, and they both get wonderful results. Some love it. Some don't like it. I personally do not like it. So I don't do it. I have nothing against it.

It's about doing what suits you might be. Some women love to lift heavy weights to build muscle. Some women don't. Some women like to walk a lot. Some women don't. You get to pick and choose what you love to do, and you are going to be making adjustments to how you already, this is key, how you already eat and move.

You're taking adjustments from your beautiful lifestyle where you're already maintaining [00:07:00] your current body weight. And if you're not doing that yet, then that is step number one, is to build a lifestyle of moderation and health. That you actually love and then come back here and apply all of the science to getting a little bit more advanced with it.

But this personalized strategy allows you to enjoy the process, which is the essence. One, the core essences of feminine energy. We want to have pleasure along the way by allowing us to be really flexible because again, we have that science and then you get to personalize things. Your strategy is very flexible.

it removes all the unnecessary control and rigidity. Bliss.

Step number four for integrating feminine energy into the process of getting leaner is romanticizing the process. A key part of the feminine is pleasure. We want to incorporate pleasure into the process as often as possible. And this is in the smallest of ways. So again, we want to still be focusing on moving towards our goal, but how can we make our strategy feel really lovely?

And do this for your maintenance, just general day to day lifestyle as [00:08:00] well, 100%. That way it'll be much, much easier to continue to incorporate it into fat loss. This will get you out of that rigid, forceful, losing weight has to feel like something dreadful mindset. Some examples are taking a few extra minutes to make your meals really special, put it on an actual plate.

Sit down instead of having your phone in front of you while you're trying to work and scroll social media at the same time. Enjoy the food that you're eating. Savor it. Take a few extra minutes to make a meal. Maybe prep some food before or order some food that you can put a meal together throughout the week.

Put some fresh herbs. Pickled onions is a favorite of mine. Set the mood, the ambience. Also putting on a really cute outfit to go work out. This is a game changer. I can't tell you for how long I've spent wearing workout clothes that I just feel frumpy and I don't really like they don't really fit and spoiler.

I'm going to be creating my own activewear line this year because I still have not found a line that makes me feel really good. Does not fall down where the tank tops don't make me feel like it's either a crop top [00:09:00] or down to my ankles. So TBD that is coming. But in the meantime, do what you can before the line comes out to find clothes that make you feel good, that fit well.

And I know if you're anything like me financially, I tend to not spend as much money on myself in those ways. And that's something I'm working on because it makes such a massive difference, especially if you are wearing these clothes. Week after week. I don't have a ton of active wear items And if you're anything like me, you may not either So it really makes a difference to invest in some pieces that actually make you feel good Okay rant on that is over when you are going out for a walk to increase your activity levels put on some makeup Get yourself ready Instead of going out there in your pajamas where you feel frumpy put yourself together If you want to listen to music, I'm a big fan for the regulation of our nervous system to pay attention to nature when we're outside.

But let's say you're walking on your treadmill in the gym, put on a fun, uplifting podcast, put on some happy tunes. Just make each part of the process of contributing to your goals. Anything you're doing that's [00:10:00] different, extra, make it feel good. If you're declining cocktails right now, then great.

Make your soda water with lime, something special, add some frozen blueberries on top and a splash of kombucha. The smallest of things go a really long way to incorporating pleasure into the process, which is a key essence of our feminine.

And the fifth component to feminine energy and weight loss is having detached energy. I want your motto to be, it takes as long as it takes. And you are focused on how you feel along the way, not just so focused on, okay, I'm here to lose three pant sizes or lose 20 pounds or 80 pounds, whatever it is.

It's how can I enjoy my life? Myself and my body along the way. And how can you be content in your body now? So I'm such a huge advocate of women doing deep work on their relationships with themselves, their body image relationship with food before they start, because you can't come out this process with desperate energy and expect to feel in your feminine.

It's just not going to work. You need to have that solid foundation of [00:11:00] self respect and self worth first, which facilitates detachment before you even begin. And then continue with this energy throughout by leaning on the science, knowing that as long as you're following the science, you're going to get to your destination.

So you get to kick back and say, Hmm, it's going to take as long as it takes. For me, it took a couple of years to lose those 30 pounds because I was so focused on enjoying the process. And I knew that it was the last time I was going to do it. Because I was doing it the right way. So why rush it? And why make myself miserable along the way when this is my life?

I don't want my life to be filled with misery. I want it to be filled with joy and pleasure along the way to reaching my goals.

And make sure you're really loving yourself along the way, cheerleading yourself. And knowing that you are just as whole as you are right now, as you will be when you get leaner, when you lose weight is key as well.

A final note on feminine energy and weight loss, fat loss, getting leaner is we have the distorted feminine, which is. It's chaos. It's when you don't [00:12:00] have any structure at all. It's just all about leaning into your emotions and that's the only way you make decisions that leads to utter destruction and chaos and that does not feel safe for anybody.

So we don't want it to be just willy nilly. This is what we see a lot with people's perception of intuitive eating is just eat what I want whenever I want. Right. And that leads to chaos. The other end of the spectrum, the distorted masculine, the unhealthy masculine is excessive rigidity and control. And that is soul sucking.

It is stifling. And that leads to rebellion. And that also leads to a lack of feeling safe. So you want to have the healthy incorporation of both of these, of the pleasure, of self respect, and the masculine structure of the science, and knowing that we are following something that is actually going to lead to results, while treating ourselves really well along the way and enjoying the process.

We want the merriment, the marriage of both. I hope this is really helpful. This is exactly what we do inside of sustainably lean academy. So if you'd like the details on that, it is in the show notes below. And if you're not sure what the [00:13:00] next step is for you, if you're even ready for advanced fat loss, which a lot of women are not, then be sure to take the free two minute quiz that is also linked in the notes.

And I will see you guys in the next one.