124. The hidden key to long-term weight loss

In this podcast, I'm sharing the real truth behind the women who get lean and STAY lean long-term...and it's not what you're likely thinking. This is a message that's near and dear to my heart - I really hope it's helpful❤️

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DIGITAL RESOURCES!⤵️

FREE training: 4 Steps to Stop Obsessing About Food: https://bit.ly/FFEmasterclass

$11 TRAINING: How I stopped my non-stop Overeating (while keeping my favorite foods in the house): https://jessiegolden.thrivecart.com/overeating-training/ 

$27 TRAINING: Maintenance Masterclass: learn whether or not you're really under-eating & how to prepare your metabolism for sustainable fat loss! https://jessiegolden.thrivecart.com/maintenance-masterclass/ 

COURSES:

Food Freedom Evolution: finally get off the yo-yo dieting & food obsession hamster wheel. https://bit.ly/ffeYT 

Sustainably Lean Academy: get lean while keeping your sanity (+ love of food!) and KEEP IT OFF - no tracking required! https://bit.ly/SLAcourseYT 

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Come connect with me!

- INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/jessiemgolden

Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode. Today. We are talking about the hidden key to weight loss. And this is really the thing that it seems like the industry just does not want women to know. And there's good reason for that because if they are preying on fear on insecurity, that's what lines their pockets over and over and over again.

Now that could be a very sinister view. of the health and fitness industry. I think there are a lot of people who are trying to do really good things but still for some reason miss this core element. So let's get into it. 

I'll get right to it. The hidden key to long term sustainable weight loss that actually feels good to you and your mind and body is giving a damn about yourself, about your wellbeing, about your body, about your mental health. And I'm going to discuss four ways that this actually manifests and helps you get to your physique goals.

Number one is a healthy relationship with food and a core tenant of having a healthy relationship with food is having a healthy relationship with yourself. You have high levels of self respect. You respect your body. You really [00:01:00] want to treat yourself well. And this is what a lot of people miss when they're thinking about eating healthy, about exercising.

It's coming from this place of force, of insecurity, of fear, of punishment. And it's actually the opposite that leads to a really long term sustainable healthy relationship with food, which Is eating healthy most of the time. It's not just eating with a band and anything when the mood strikes of eating pizza all day long because freedom.

That's not a healthy relationship with food. It's not just eating with a band and anything when the mood strikes of eating pizza all day long because freedom.

That's not a healthy relationship with food. It's being really connected with yourself emotionally. So you're not just stuffing away your emotions with food or with dieting. It's having a sense of self respect regardless of the way that your body looks. So you want to treat yourself well, even if you're having a poor body image day.

Even if you've gained weight, even if you don't love the way that you look, you still show up with respect for yourself and your body. It is not overeating all the time. Again, that is not a kind thing to do to our bodies. And you might be saying, well, I don't want to overeat, but I just keep doing it. And this is what goes back to, why?

Why is it? Because you're being [00:02:00] really restrictive. Are you running away from your emotions? Are you running away from life itself? Do you have a lack of fulfillment of pleasure in your life? We need to get to the core root as to why again, an act of taking care of yourself when you have a healthy relationship with food, you have better boundaries with alcohol.

Because you want to take care of yourself, right? No, I know that if I have another drink that is not going to be good for my mental health, for my physical health, you're putting yourself to bed on time. Even if you don't want to, it is essentially babying yourself in a way and showing up and treating yourself like you would a loved one.

And this is the foundation that needs to be laid for long term physique change. If you don't have this, you will never. Really hear me when I say this, you will never have the body you want while living with freedom in your mind. And if you don't have freedom in your mind, then what the hell is the point?

The second way and giving a damn about yourself manifest is you have self respect in the way that you look now in your body. Now, and I want to be very clear that this does not mean that you love everything about the way that your body looks, right? You sit there and you just [00:03:00] romanticize your belly rolls and your cellulite.

And if that works for you, then that is absolutely wonderful. It's not the case for me and for nearly all of my clients. It's just let your body be a body. You're not this object that you need to poke and prod. You're not this object that you need to poke and prod. There's so much more to you than your body and you can have fun changing your body and you might say, I need to lose weight for my health and that's fine too, but showing up with a sense of respect for who you are as a whole human being right now is everything.

When you are showing up fully with respect as you are right now, it brings a sense of calm and that desperate energy disappears. And when we have that desperate energy, that's what leads to us taking shortcuts, treating ourselves really poorly, And we have this sense of calm, then your nervous system is more regulated.

And this is really important for our overall wellbeing and our health.

You're also willing to take your time to get results. So you're going slowly. You're making sure that you're enjoying the process, that it's honoring your mental and physical health along the way. And when you have this mindset of, I want to respect myself deeply [00:04:00] along the way to my goals, you're more focused on doing things right way than the fastest way.

So you're willing to take the time to learn how the process works instead of, Oh, I just want so and so to give me a list of rules to follow so I can turn my brain off. Just give me the numbers and then I'm going to be done with it. You're saying, huh? I really want to learn how to do this on my own. I want to hold the keys.

I want to learn how if things change in my life, I want to know how to adjust things. I want to know how to respect and honor my body throughout each stage of my life. You're more committed to long term sustainability and taking care of yourself while you reach your goals instead of just getting there as quickly as possible.

Another core tenant of giving a damn about yourself is you end up trusting yourself. And this is one of the core tenants that I teach inside of my food freedom evolution course, the trifecta is trust. When you trust yourself, you are no longer looking to how this woman eats and that woman eats and ping ponging back and forth while she's doing Pilates and she's walking 20, 000 steps a day and she's lifting five times a week.

You're very focused on your own internal experience with your own body. And of course you want to leverage science [00:05:00] at the same time, but a big part that people miss when they are just so focused on calorie deficit is still need to be in connection and be teammates with your body the entire way through.

You need to be constantly checking in with, does this feel good? Am I pushing my body too far? When you trust yourself, you are saying, Hey, my mental health, my physical health, something is not feeling right with this approach. So it's an immediate no. It's not this, Oh, but they told me that this is the best way to do it.

Even though I'm really struggling, even though I can't sleep at all, even though I feel like a zombie, it is an immediate no.

And when this happens, you're not pushing your body to this point of survival because Our bodies are designed to prevent starvation. We have to remember that. Right. So if you're just constantly bulldozing every signal from your body and saying they know best, they told me this is what I should do. The super restrictive either mentally or physically diet.

And then you get to this point where your body and your brain are pushing back because they're saying we said danger. Then you're far more likely to gain it all back because our primitive Responses are going to win out in [00:06:00] the So learning to come to a place of trust within yourself is such a huge component of giving a damn about yourself, or rather it is the result of, and it is absolutely essential to long term sustainable fat loss.

And lastly, how giving a damn about yourself manifests with weight loss, with fat loss, changing your body, whatever that looks like for you is 

you take the time to learn how to do things the right way. This happens when you have a sense of patience and maturity. And I would argue that a big part of maturity is that sense of self.

Respect. So you slow down and you want to hold the keys to your kingdom. Like I mentioned earlier, you want to be self led. You don't want to act like a little girl have the princess mentality of, Oh my gosh, you just want someone to tell me what to do. No, you step into that more queen energy of, I am the boss of my body.

I want to know how this vehicle of mine works, how I can take the reins to have control over her. What I want for the rest of my life rather than just give me the numbers. Just give me the list of foods that I can't eat, that I cannot eat and then send me on my [00:07:00] way. And then the minute something changes with your lifestyle or with your preferences, then you're sitting there saying, Oh my God, I don't know what to do.

And I need to fork over money and hire someone and panic or just start copying this influencer or that one that is not embodied, respectful energy. That is again, that dog paddly, more little girl energy. So when you have the sense of self respect, you say, I want to do things my way. I want to follow science, but I also want to do things in a way that feel really good to me, that honor my mental health, that honor my physical health.

I want to have the keys and know all the tools that are at my disposal to do things the right way so that I'm not gaining it all back. And then I'm not treating myself poorly, whether I mean to or not. And this is a big thing. You might be saying, well, I do have a lot of respect for myself and for my body, but I still end up gaining it all back or treating myself poorly along the way.

And it's probably because you just don't know that there's another way to do it. And this is why I'm so vocal about women being able to get results without tracking their food, because that can just backfire for a lot of women. They end up thinking about food a lot more and of [00:08:00] eating more, they don't see results or they gain it all back.

Or they just simply don't enjoy it. And so if you don't enjoy the process, then you're very likely not going to be seeing results. So it's very, very important that you're committed to learning how your body works and taking the time to learn how to do things the right way. Your motto needs to be, this is the last time I'm doing this.

You know what I cannot cuss on. YouTube, and it really grinds my gears because that's just a, a core part of my vernacular. But you have to have that mentality. This is the last time I'm doing this. And this is the last time I'm going to have to lose weight. So with that mindset, what's the rush? You're slowing down.

You want to learn. You want to know all the different options you have to customize things because the way you want to do it now, the way you want to eat and exercise might not be how you want to do it in a year. In three years and five years, of course, we're all going to change our preferences are going to change our priorities in life, whether that's children or whether that's a job or moving things are going to change.

And if you don't know how to adapt and carry [00:09:00] on with pursuing your goals or maintaining them, then you are going to feel very anxious and frustrated. But if you have that sense of self respect, this takes care of itself because you're not going to have that dog paddling energy. You're going to say, I'm good.

I'm just going to take my time, I'm going to learn, and there's no rush. And this is where all your power comes 

Sometimes I feel like I have to sell women on really caring about themselves when it comes to Achieving their physique goals because a lot of people are just so focused as I was once Absolutely, and I just want to change my body. Whereas if we lead with I really want to take really good care of myself And then I can get to those goals after if we lead with that energy of deep self respect first, I promise you everything gets better, but I would so deeply wish that even if the physique goals weren't a possibility or that was just completely taken off the table, you would want to show up with that sense of self respect simply because you deserve it.

And you know that that is a much better way to move through life. That is. True love in action. And if you want to work on this, if you're like, I need [00:10:00] to work on my relationship with food, my body, myself, this is what I cover inside of Food Freedom Evolution. I do have a free training. You can get started with how to stop obsessing about food or jump into the course.

Those are linked in the notes below. And if you already know you're ready for sustainable fat loss, you're like, I'm good with all this stuff, and I'm ready to go apply the science, then Sustainably Lean Academy would be for you. I really hope that this was helpful and that I didn't need to sell you on this, but still, it is really nice to hear.

Even if you're shaky on the fence, I will see you guys in the next one.