Your Home Is Your Soul: Making Conscious Choices in Life Transitions | Kim Costa

Join Wendy for the 2027 Summer Solstice White Party at the Phineas Wright House. A celebration of community, intention, and connection. Save your seat here: phineaswrighthouse.com/the-shop/p/summer-solstice-white-party-2027

In this episode, Wendy sits down with Kim Costa, a real estate professional and author who believes your home is far more than a financial transaction—it's a reflection of your soul. After years in real estate and a background in residential construction and design, Kim has developed a framework for making conscious housing decisions aligned with who you actually are. She's written a book featuring the Wheelhouse Assessment, a tool that helps people understand the 8 areas of their life and what their home needs to support.

They explore:

• Why your home is a spiritual alignment tool, not just a practical one, and what happens when it's out of alignment
• How to use the Wheelhouse Assessment and Maslow's hierarchy to distinguish between real needs and aesthetic wants
• Why knowing yourself is the foundation for choosing a home that actually serves you

Kim's philosophy is simple: life transitions, whether forced upon us or chosen, are opportunities to recalibrate and ask the hard questions. Your home can either support that process or resist it. The work isn't just about finding the right house. It's about understanding who you're becoming and whether your living space can hold that version of you. That's conscious choosing.

Connect with Kim:

Website: lifestylefoundations.com

Instagram: instagram.com/kim.e.costa

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kimecosta

Her Podcast, Live in Your Wheelhouse: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/live-in-your-wheel-house/id1853930729

Get her book, Live in Your Wheelhouse: amazon.com/Live-Your-Wheel-House-Empowering/dp/B0GKTB5Z7C?tag=syty-20

Referenced in this Episode:

Books by Gay Hendricks: 

• The Genius Zone: The Breakthrough Process to End Negative Thinking and Live in True Creativity: amazon.com/Genius-Zone-Breakthrough-Negative-Creativity/dp/1250246547?tag=syty-20
• The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level: amazon.com/Big-Leap-Conquer-Hidden-Level/dp/0061735361?tag=syty-20

Wendy's HGTV Appearance: New House New Life, Season 1 Episode 3: amazon.com/New-House-Life-Season/dp/B091HZQ912

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Kim, I'm so looking forward to this conversation. Um, even though we spend our days doing different things, we have so much in common, and I'm really eager to connect about those things. Thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Thank you so much for having me. I'm looking forward to chatting with you.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

It's so fun. Um as a real estate professional, I my um dear cousin is also a real estate professional. And we used to compare notes when I formerly I was a wedding planner, and we would compare notes about how similar our industries were, because when someone's planning their wedding or when someone's buying their house, it's a big transaction. And although they don't cognitively believe that you should be available 24 hours a day, they really do want you to be available 24 hours a day. Because when they're thinking about their wedding or thinking about their house, that's when they want the answers. So I appreciate all that you do to bring peace of mind to your clients and to offer insight that that shifts, it changes, you know, like the industry is the same, but the people are what make it feel new every time. So I just want you to know that I see you.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Good, good, good. We have lots in common then because it's all about life transition, isn't it? When your life is changing. And so weddings are uh obviously a big moment of life change. And a lot of times people are moving when they get married because their living space needs to change. So a lot of uh life change also creates stress. And so we uh we as professionals need to be able to lessen that as much as possible.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Yeah, right, and it it feels like a joy, yes, because it's not our stress. That's right. That's right. Yes, we have perspective and we have we're once removed because people would ask me, like, oh my gosh, isn't that stressful being a wedding planner? Like, it's not my wedding.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Exactly. I'm just handling details and providing structure to make the the the event or the um, I guess moving as an event too, uh, successful.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Yeah. Right, right. And yes, I am shocked and appalled by what your future mother-in-law just said, but I'm not triggered because she's not my mother-in-law. That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

I know. Um sometimes when the um the in-laws or the parents come and they want to look at the young person's house, it's like, oh no, how's this gonna go? Are we on like what kind of terms are we on? And and most of them are lovely, but every once in a while I just kind of remove myself from, I'm just gonna go check on something downstairs. You go, you all discuss.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

I will ask you the question I ask all of my guests, but on this train of thought, I am just interested. So, how long have you been uh in the real estate industry?

SPEAKER_01 3:10

I've been in the uh real estate going on my ninth year. And so before that, I was in residential construction and design industry. So, you know, kind of a parallel industry, but just in a different role, right?

SPEAKER_00 3:24

But yes, what valuable insight you bring?

SPEAKER_01 3:27

Sure. On the on the financial side of that industry. So a little finance, a little design, a little human resource. So it kind of prepared me to have a holistic approach.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Right. I love that for you.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Very well, it worked out for you.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

I was wondering how like HGTV and these shows have influenced what your experience is in real estate, just because I think sometimes people, because we're watching that, yes, we think, oh, well, you're gonna show us three places, and yes, we're gonna fight, but I'm gonna get my way, and then here we are, and then it's like we go to break and we're back and we're hosting a barbecue.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

And they're happy in their new home. Yes, well, uh, three three homes is pretty quick, pretty quick, and and a little secret because I have had a home on that particular show as one of the three that they were looking at, but guess what? They well, I might be giving away trade secrets, but I think I don't think it's really a secret. They've already picked the house out.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Oh my gosh, I was on a we were on an HGTV show when we first moved to this house, yes, called New Home, New Life. Yes, they they chronicled the stories of people making major life changes associated with a big move, and really cool, yeah. The West Coast to the East Coast, from the city to the country, from wedding planner to wedding venue, yeah. And we already bought the house, like we already lived here for six months, and we looked at other houses, and my then husband, now ex was talking about how much he loved this other house. Yes, what's wrong with you? Like, we already bought a house. So I if anyone would like to watch that show, we will link it down in the show notes. You have to watch it to watch me be a diva about a barn I didn't even have to buy.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

It's still fascinating to watch, though, I have to say, because they still do bring out good points as like what you might like about other homes. And so I think that's valid. It is, you know, if I had these three homes, what would I think? And I think that's how they're presenting it. And how could they in real time create the show with everything us realtors have to do? I mean, it would be boring, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Really boring. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

No, no. So they they're brilliant in the way that they did it and they have to do it that way. It's very entertaining, and we probably learned something from it, but it is not reality, folks. I mean, there's so much more going on behind the scenes, you know. So in 2023 and 24, 82% of everyone who bought a home had major regrets. So they don't show you that. Oh, say more about that. Yeah. So of all the buyers across America in 2023 and 2024, I think it's a clever, it's a clever dot com statistical study that they did. So of those, all those buyers, which 25 million or so people move a year, 82% had a major regret. And 12% of those hundred percent didn't even like the house they were in. That's three million people a year. So you don't see that. You just see, oh, we're happy in our new home. But um, I think because people had to decide so quickly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Why did they have to decide so quickly?

SPEAKER_01 6:49

Because it was a bidding war, like there were bidding wars on homes, and there were 10 offers at a time, and it was whoever wins waived the inspection, and you had to turn in an offer the same day that you saw the home. And I think that has a lot to do with the dissatisfaction of some people.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Interesting, these artificial deadlines.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

Well, they weren't artificial, it was a market.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

But in real life, like don't like there will be another house.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

There will. But people got in a frenzy, and then they had FOMO. And then they were like, I don't even like this house. And all of it's made up. But I won. I won the house, but I don't even know. I just wanted to win because it was, you know, we needed a house. If everyone collectively paused, yeah, that is what the book's about. Let's all pause. Let's hit the pause button, people. We're back to a balanced market. Let's do a deep dive. What do you really want? Like, not about like paint color and countertop color, which is lovely. Let's hope that's the main part of our decision. And it's not some big important life change you didn't ask for. Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Like it's under a freeway.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Yes. Like, yeah. So, like, or like it's in the flight zone and we didn't realize it, you know, or I mean stuff like that. Let's slow down and take a deeper look. I talked to someone back during that time period around COVID-ish. She was a smart gal and she um she had bad knees and she bought a home because it had a pool for her kids. But the uh primary bedroom was upstairs and she's like, I can't even get up there. I was like, honey, it was was a someone in another area. It wasn't my client, but I was like, gosh, I'm so sorry. We should have we should have done a deep dive on that.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Right. Like, are there stairs?

SPEAKER_01 8:33

There are stairs, but like she can't get up them. She can't, it will hurts her to get up them. And when she gets those knees replaced, she'll have to sleep on the couch for a little bit. Yeah, but the pool's great, you know. Um, and the school system was good. So it was all about the kids, but my goodness, that's a lovely decision, but also, you know, not great for her as the mom.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Right. Right. And when we do pause, we have the opportunity to see that a solution exists. Yes, where everybody there there is a solution where everybody gets what they want. Yes. When we drill down on what it actually is that we want, and it's not stainless steel appliances and like it is I want to feel at home in myself. Yes, I'm standing in this room.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Yeah. Is the function of the room what I want it to do? Like, what do I want to do in my house? And can this house do that?

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Right. And how do I want to feel when I pull the driveway? And can this house do that? And how much of that is my work and how much of it is the circumstances that is this house?

SPEAKER_01 9:46

I agree. So the house to me, and this is what the book is about, is a representation of your soul, or it should be. And if it is not a true representation of who you're supposed to be, you're going to feel off. If you're going to be frustrated or sad or lonely or angry even or anxious, it's going to be an uneasy feeling, and that's when people think they want to move.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Right. Right. So, how are you integrating this conscious home buying into your process? Like obviously, if I was your client, I'm already coming in that way. Right. But but how are you helping people do this consciously so that it is a good fit?

SPEAKER_01 10:29

So I'm introducing the process as, you know, if you're in a hurry, go to part four in the book. And that is the wheelhouse assessment that has eight areas, the eight areas of the wheel of life, which are health, finance, spirituality, friends and family, entertainment, romance, career, and environment. And from there, they answer a set of questions that go up. Are you familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs? Yes. So a really uh heavy need or um significant need would be physiological, which is at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy. It's like our lowest need for food, shelter, and water and sleep. So if you're living near a freeway and you're not sleeping, then that's that's a physiological health need, which is a very serious problem. Because sleep, you need sleep. But if you are going up from safe through safety and belonging, love and belonging, esteem, cognitive, and aesthetic, like I don't like the countertops. I don't like my countertops. You could probably replace those and stay where you are, because that's an aesthetic need, which is way up high, which we all would love to be there, right? Because that means nothing serious is going on. And you're just picking out paint colors and having fun, which I love. But um, not everyone's there. Most people aren't there. That's why they're moving. So, anyway, that's kind of how I start off with folks. Like if you're moving, you have a serious need that needs to be solved, and let's figure that out. But then let's also go around the other seven areas and make sure we don't forget anything. So that's how I'm introducing it. But the first three parts of the book are about who are you? Who, what people have you surrounded yourself, what um gifts do you have and are you using them? And do the people around you see the real you and support the real you? Because if not, that's a foundational problem. And so as we're moving, we don't always get to that, but maybe we can circle back around if you still feel off after you've made some decisions.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

Oh my goodness. Yeah. So is this required reading before people came up with you? Oh my gosh, no. Like this is their in their housewarming gift basket.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Well, it's being printed now, and I'm going to send it out to all my prior clients. And then other agents can do the same. Or I love talking to the actual homeowner. I love talking to people. I'm fascinated with people's potential. So that's been my favorite thing to do. And so I would love it if just, you know, people have a little book club and let's talk about where are you on this scale? And how are you? Are you feeling aligned and like how's your home fitting you? It's just getting it's getting a discussion started because I don't think people are having this discussion.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Right. It's a show for HGTV. Oh gosh. I mean, wouldn't that be amazing?

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Oh, it'd be so fun to go visit people in their homes. So I have this segment on my podcast called The Wheelhouse Hall of Fame. And so right now I'm just doing famous people like Dolly Parton, Warren Buffett. He was the career, you know, the career person. And Dolly was for entertainment. And um, Chip and Joanna Gaines were for friends and family because they like left their show for several years to have take care of their five kids. I was like, they both they deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. So that's been really fun. But I would love to talk to regular people who are doing good things in their community about how are you living in your wheelhouse?

SPEAKER_00 13:49

Right. And for asking them the question to stay, go, or rent.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Or reno, yeah. Like, are you doing a renovation and why? Well, I have a big my family's growing, I need a bigger space to entertain. Well, great, that's awesome. Like, let's see it. Or when it's done, like, show me, show me now.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

So I have a thousand ideas for you. Yes, good, good, good. That's what I do. I am an idea factory, and it's so much easier to do that for other people because I have no resistance to your success.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Yes, I love that. Oh my gosh. Do you happen to know what personality you are on the Myers Briggs? Are you familiar with that? Oh, um, I had to write it.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

That's the one that has the four letters, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Yes. I'm so curious because an idea person is usually an intuitive feeler. So I'm just curious if that's what you are. And I base some of my some of my theory on personality theory. So it's not a necessity, but I I try to guess what people are.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

I love that. Okay. I had to write it down because I don't remember. Yes, I'm an ESFJ.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Oh, I love it. My assistant is an ESF. You're extroverted sensing. So you are very visually oriented, feeling, and it's judging, but that doesn't mean you're judgmental. It's just that you um you're organized.

SPEAKER_00 15:13

You're what'd you say? It's just that I know better. Well, you well, that's it. I just have a better idea.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

See, that's so ESFJ is very sensory, very um fun. I have another ESFJ friend who's like the life of the party, and I love going out with her because I'm more of an intuitive person and I watch and listen, and then I have a deep conversation with somebody, as but she'll talk to everybody.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

But I think too that my personal evolution is refining the personality tests I took as a former version of myself. So I think that the things that I've learned about myself and focused on developing about myself in the past six years would change the way that some of those, whenever I wrote down those results, I bet they're different now because I don't have a problem talking to everybody and I'm very curious and I want to go deep. Yes, that's the F part. Right. I'm melding the things that are um like I used to just like I want it wide, I want it, you know, but now be more selective. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

Which we all do once we as we get a little wiser, we'll call it.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

This podcast has really informed that as well. When I I host every year a summer solstice white party, and it's so dreamy. We have a big tent in the field, and everyone wears white, and we have this amazing locally sourced dinner, and we make flower crowns out of my peonies, and it's oh, that is my favorite flower. It's that's what I grow here. Oh my gosh. So it's dreamy, dreamy, dream, dream. It's so fabulous. And I think because of this podcast, I believe that for the 25 people that are here, that I have an hour to just chat with them individually and saying yes to themselves in the season. And I don't because I have 24 other people that I want to connect with as well. So it's interesting, I think, in those kinds of situations, my evolved, more accurate personality type comes out and um is a little bit clashing with uh the old version of me.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

There you go. Well, I mean, it's it's great to be self-aware like that. And I think and so that is the first step of my process is who are you? Like this party makes you happy, right? It really does. And it makes and it and it makes other people happy, which probably also makes you happy, right? I like watching people's face when I tell them about that event. Yes. Like I'm like, I want to come, I want to I want to do all your things. I want to do your your French culinary, I want to do all your things.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

I want you to do all those things. I want everyone to do that's your gift.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

That's your mission. That's your that is your so it's we start with myself and the process, and it is who am I? And then mastery is the second M. It's the foundation. The four M's are the foundation. And so, myself, who am I? And so that's not only your personality, but your values and your aspirations. And what gifts do you have? What were you, what were you born good at? What is your brain work? And so then you take one of those or several of those gifts and master them. Then the third M is mission. What do you do with those gifts, the mastery of those gifts? You help people, that's your mission. And then the fourth, which is really important, is mates. Who do you surround yourself with and who do you let in your home? Do they support you? Do they sabotage you? Do they see the real you? Will they allow you to be the real you and have a voice in your own home or out in your community? And so if you those four M's are out of line, it does not matter what house you live in. You're going to feel a little bit off. So that's the foundation. If that's off, the rest of the house is gonna be caddy wampus. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Wow, this is so beautiful. What's the lead-in to writing this book?

SPEAKER_01 19:42

Well, I lived in a home. It was a stunning home. I mean, it could have been on Southern Living, you know, it was just gorgeous. And uhesthetically, I was up here aesthetically, but it was not aligning with like belonging and love and esteem. I wasn't doing the things that were me. I was riding horses. I'm a golfer, an avid golfer. I am an extrovert and it was very remote. I saw no people, and I was an accountant, but I'm a creative person. And so I did accounting and crunch numbers for you know all day. And so I was feeling very off. And like my work was an hour and a half away, my kids' school was at least half an hour. So I didn't have a community there, and that was really important to me. And I just I felt really off. So riding a horse there, and I fell off and broke my back, so it almost paralyzed me. Oh gosh. I know so tragic. Like I had these little whispers, like, oh, it's so remote here, it's so pretty, but like I just want more people, you know. So I was really trying hard to love the home that I built from scratch with my former spouse and did a lovely job. People loved coming up, but it was an hour trip to get there for most people that I knew. So it was very remote. And then when I broke my back and I couldn't take care of the farm anymore, I started writing again because I am a creative. And I wrote the Oprah Winfrey show and won a right an essay contest. And then because I was in a walker and in pain and couldn't take care of myself and or my family, my friends were taking care of them. I told the Oprah show, no, you cannot come. Now she was my hero. I watched her religiously every day. And I was like, okay, now I'm telling the Oprah no. Right. What's what is happening? What is going on? Like, I am so misaligned. And then it kind of sat for with that for a while and raised my children, and they went off to college. And then I was like, okay, there's a huge void here, and I am not doing anything that I want to be doing. And so I just started changing everything about my I I did, you know, get divorced. I did uh Congratulations. Thank you. And I'm I'm super happy, remarried, very, very happily married. And and so is he. God bless them. I think it's one of those. And if anything ever happened to my husband, I would be happily single as well. I'm very content with who I am.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

No, no, no, I didn't mean that. I'm just saying I'm available to be Oh, you're available. Oh, I see, I see.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

So let's put that out there. But right now, you're so lovely. Married to me. I love you're so lovely, and what a great entertainer. I think anyone catch. I would you are. Oh man. Okay. So I'm going to be thinking about that. Okay. And um I have a list.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

You can know you can submit. Um there's an application process this time.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

There you go. I love it. I think every single gal should have a list of what they desire and some red and yellow flags that are deal breakers.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

I mean, just it's the same process you're doing with your clients for the it's like how simple. It's exactly like it. What is I'm gonna be at home with you? Yes. I cannot be it's part of your foundation, folks. In the process.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

Yes. Exactly. Yes, ma'am. Thank you. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

So anyway. So yes. So you got divorced and yes, I got divorced.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

And then um, I was like, okay, well, there's an there's more to the story there. And it is in the book. It is the fourth chapter, I think, or fifth maybe. It's the fourth chapter, and it tells the rest of the story about that original Clarity Farm house and how I reinvented myself at the same time that something happened to that house. And um, so I became a realtor. And as I was doing that, I got a coach and I did the personality test, and I'm an ENFP, and he's an ENFP coach. And I was like, hey, I've been an accountant. He was like, You've been an accountant? How have you done that for 25 years? And I was like, I don't know, but my head hurts. Help me. I want to be a realtor. Let's just confirm that that's a good thing for me to do, the way that my brain works. And he said, Yeah, absolutely. You're extroverted, intuitive. You can, you, you understand people, you you enjoy being around people, you you see their potential. Yes, I was like, that's me. And and I also love design. And um, I was in the construction business. So I was like, Yeah, go for it. So as I started helping people, I and we would go around the wheel of life and say, What's wrong here? Like, well, I I um my house is too big, I don't want to maintain it. So I was moving and my wheel, I started associating the wheel with moving. And then when I helped other people move, I was like, oh, this is a career finance move. They got a big promotion, they have tons more money, and they need to move cities. So that's why they're they've started categorizing their pain points into different segments on the wheel of life. That's how it started.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

Oh, it's so cool.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

Yeah. I mean, everyone has parts of the wheel that are going up and down during life change.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Sure. Right. And sometimes the life change is at your own hand. Yes. And sometimes it's, you know, not your first choice, but always in service. Yes. I believe everything is always happening for us. Yes, not to us.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

And the power of decision is ours. And we might not get to decide uh what this first uh new experience is, but we get to decide how we're gonna feel about it, yes, how we're going to hold space for ourselves in it, how we're gonna be supported in it. And it gives us the opportunity, like you said, this first question uh who am I? Yes, who I want. And not who was I when I, you know, first got here.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

Or who was I trying to be that I'm really not? Sit with yourself and figure it out. And um, and that can be a beautiful process.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

Oh, I think it is.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

I think it is holding, I mean, it's what I do here. I love holding space for women who are holding space for themselves.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

So whether they're doing a solo retreat at the Phineas Wright House, whether they're going on one of these beautiful space to dream or just retreats in France or taking cooking classes, whatever they're doing, it's this pattern interrupt that allows us to recalibrate and catch up with what's important to us. And when when we're in these situations where we feel safe, where all the details are attended to by someone we trust, yes, we can exhale.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Yes. I love that you said that. When when I was experiencing all the life change and and finding myself again uh during and after divorce, I downsized to a little, a small little luxury apartment uh that was in an area of where I live that's like had rest beautiful restaurants downstairs and festivals and women's nights. And I just pushed the easy button. I bought all new furniture that was like feminine. And in fact, I have my painting. I it's called the Divine Goddess over here. It's a large, it's like a three by six painting of just a white dress, like like renewal. It has some gold accents on it. It's very etheral. And so that is what I call the divine goddess. And I was like, that is the new me right there. I would wake up in the morning and I chose a beautiful apartment with the sun that came in in the morning, and I would kind of have a little chat with the divine goddess. It sounds with my coffee and my little dog. I love it, and my new bed and my new my new place. Perfect. And uh I would like every morning, I'd just be like, it's like a new beginning. Yeah. And so I just pushed that easy button for myself. And then again, after that, I did upsize and I live in a slightly larger home in my um with my husband now. Uh it's it's a cottage, it's a cottage style. I don't need 40 acres, I don't need 8,000 square feet. I just, it's not me. I don't want to maintain all that. That's my personality. I like variety.

SPEAKER_00 27:46

Yeah. Yes, which is so fun too, because in your career, you get the variety, even though other people are buying the house.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

I love it. I I get to just keep talking with people that are going through life change and try to help them up-level their lives in some way. And then, you know, hopefully we've resolved the the situation, and then I get to speak with someone else and keep, you know, keep in touch with folks and check in because life changes again, and what I want to see how they're doing. But I just love the whole process.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

I love this so much. This is so fun.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

Yeah, it is fun. It is, and it it can be heavy because peop life change, as you said, can be forced upon us and we have to deal with it.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

Make the best. And we get two course, correct? And like you said, every day is new.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

And it doesn't, even if we have been uh uh responding to this change in a way that's no longer in service. Yes, you can hit pause on this podcast right now and take a deep breath and be a new person.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

That is right. I I think the pause button is so essential, especially during this process. No, sometimes if you're moving quickly, you don't have time to pause. But part four of the book is like a hundred pages. You could read that in one day if you really had to. And you would take that, those results and give them to your realtor or your designer or your contractor or whatever, and say, these are the changes that I'm looking for.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

Oh, it's so beautiful. I love this so much. So, how are you saying yes to yourself in this season?

SPEAKER_01 29:26

Well, I'm saying yes to the creative part of me that got pushed down for decades. And I just come alive when I'm writing. It's um, I would say it's my genius zone. I love that book. We love gay hands. The genius zone, isn't that great? Yes, I was doing things that weren't even, and what's the next level down?

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Um, the level of excellence, yeah, zone of excellence, the zone of confidence. Yes, is that right? Confidence, competence, competence, competence, I was in my zone of competence and that's zone of genius.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

I was in my zone of competence, right? And I I was like two levels down doing accounting every day when I should have been doing something more people-oriented and creative. And so when I write and I get what I call the flow, if someone comes in and interrupts me, I literally come from another planet. Right. Yes, yeah, yeah. And and then and then it's like, okay, I need to go talk to some people. I need more, I need more input, I need more material, and then I'll write again.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

Right. And I love that it is cyclical. Like it is, you know, the purpose of life is to say freedom and expansion. And, you know, once we go through a growth spurt, like we have to settle into it. And then, you know, I can only sit on the beach for so long, and then I need some more freedom, and then I some more action come up against the growth edge, and I want to move past that. So it's not that you're just gonna sit at your desk and read all and write all day. You're I couldn't do it. I would I wouldn't have everything you want.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

Yeah, and so just knowing my personality, I'm an the most introverted of extroverts, if that's such a thing. So most I think it is, yeah. And so I know that I if I like I was around, you know, about 150 people last night talking for about four hours and um talked all day, you know, with some clients and uh a podcast yesterday. So I knew this morning I needed just a little quiet time to gather my thoughts. I needed to go pick out some paint colors, but I put on a podcast in my car and I just kind of settled in and reset myself. Yeah, you have to do it's interesting. Do you know your human design? I do. I'm a manifesting generator three five. Does that make sense? I'd like to know more about that, but it makes sense to me. Yes, it does.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

I I think it's fascinating and I it resonates for me as well.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

I think it's interesting, you know, again, how our personal development might change the results of different personality tests and also different practices because I am extroverted, I'm a generator, I my battery fills up when I sleep. I'm that's works for me. But Thursday afternoons, after four or five hours of interviews in a row, I am very high vibe. Like I feel amazing. Yeah, and I would really like a nap. And I would like to not make dinner. And I and I don't know if it has to do with age and whatever the moon is doing and whatever's happening with my 12-year-old and her in inter situation. Like so, there's all of these things that are at work, all of this energy moving around. And so it's even this opportunity for me to pause and say, okay, you used to be able to do things that are not sustainable.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

What needs to change? And what I think what it's also doing for me is it's uh gently inviting me to continue to investigate my relationship with support and this um belief that if I want all of this, it means I have to do all of this. Now that I take my show on the road so often by spending so much time in France, I am not physically here. So it does require support. So I think it's just this next level of permission. Yes, of how good am I willing to let my life get, which is the question in Gay Hendrick's book, The Big Leap.

SPEAKER_01 34:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

And it's just it's fascinating.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

Yes. I love the way that you put that. How good am I willing to get? How good am I willing to let life get? There you go. That is that is amazing. Yeah, because we do have a threshold, don't we? And we when we push up against it, we it's almost like we need to grow like a tree to have a growing season and then build up our bark again, you know, and and then grow it, have another growth spurt. So I think that's great.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

It's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 34:48

Tell me about the podcast and what you're loving about it.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

Um yeah, so the podcast I am absolutely loving. So I started off like I was just doing it solo and kind of got my C legs for the whole podcast. And now I'm moving into interviewing people, which I'm loving because it's a longer conversation and it's not just me, you know, looking at the camera and you know, trying to to sound conversational, but I just think playing off people is so much easier. And then I'm not an expert on everything, I'm a generalist. What?

SPEAKER_00 35:20

I don't know. Sorry, we're gonna have to end now. I at least we have experts who have mastered everything.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

I know a little about a lot, and I'm fairly smart, and so I have assimilated many things and studied many, many things. I'm certainly not the expert on all of those things. I'm a wide view person that has enough knowledge to direct you in the right direction and provide resources. That's what I love doing, that's how my brain works. I'm an input person. I pull all different types of input and create a new system for people, which is what I've done. And allow them to have a guideline to improve their lives. And then when they need the details, we want to call an expert. We want to call in an expert. So I'm calling in the experts to talk with me about specific things in the model.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

Oh, I love it. It's so good. And the expert only knows what they know. Yes. Like we can't get it wrong because it's never gonna be done. So you can always tweak it. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Yeah, we are improving always, and our hopefully our homes are also coming along with us.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

Oh my gosh. I love this. You're so fun. I can't wait to listen to the podcast. I can't wait to finish this book. It's gonna be, I just love what you're doing, and I do project. I see a show here. I think it would be amazing. I mean, the show can already be Stago or Reno.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

Yes, Stay Go or Reno. Wouldn't that be catchy? You know, back in the day when I lived at that farmhouse, and this was there were so many beautiful things about the home, and had a very large kitchen with the butcher block humongous island, way back before they were in style, because I liked having people around the kitchen. And people would always say, You need to film a cooking show in here. And you should be on T or And so people would also also say to me, You should be a broadcaster, like you have a broad, you should be on the news, you have a broadcaster's voice. And I kind of shied away from it, but maybe it's just about homes and not me.

unknown 37:26

Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

It's so fun. I my first idea for this podcast was kitchen conversations.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

Oh, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

Because I love I love hosting dinner parties, and I love not having the meal completed before the guests get there. Yes. Because I like when people are sitting at my kitchen island, they have a glass of wine, I'm finishing up the preparation, and there's something about the conversation that comes when you're not just sitting across the room looking straight at each other, but there's something else happening.

SPEAKER_02 38:06

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

I mean, it's kind of like those conversations you have with your kids in the car. Totally. You find out so much information because I'm at your face while that's right. It's not as intimidating. It's not, and I think it just flows and it's beautiful. And I just thought, ooh, I just want to make a dish and have a conversation with somebody, and that could be my podcast.

SPEAKER_01 38:30

Yeah, and you're doing it side by side most of the time. And then you're kind of as you're moving. I don't know. I I think I'm a um, you know, there's different types of learning. I'm a kinetic learner, and my son is as well. And so something about moving like experiential. It means, yeah, moving your body and experiencing learning from experiencing things. So when you're tossing a salad or cutting some vegetables or something, um it it opens up a side of your brain that is not as linear. Exactly. Yeah.

unknown 39:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

Not as structured, and you can have a free-flowing, fun conversation.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

Oh my gosh. So fun, just like this one. Exactly. Hooray. Please tell everyone where they can find and follow you, how they can get their own copy of the book, find the podcast, all of the good things.

SPEAKER_01 39:18

Sure. So the podcast is the same name as the book, Live in Your Wheelhouse. And you can get the book anywhere, you know, Amazon, um, every anywhere you buy books, you can get the book. And on my website, which you can get a couple of other little freebies on, is lifestylefoundations.com. And then the podcast, like I said, same name. And on uh socials, I'm Kim E. Costa. So that's everywhere you can find me.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

Great. Well, we'll link everything down in the show notes. Thank you so much for your time, Kim. I love this conversation.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

Me too. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

My pleasure.