How to Find Yourself Through Solo Traveling, Part 1

Have you ever wondered who you are when no one is watching? ..when there's no one to please, no one to impress, and no expectations to meet?

In this episode, Shanon Safi opens up about her solo travel journey and the powerful self-discovery that came from stepping away from it all.

Shanon shares her transformative month-long solo trip to Hawaii: what she learned about people pleasing, emotional codependency, and reconnecting to herself on a soul level. 

She dives into the six things she discovered she genuinely loved when left to her own devices, including art museums, slowing down, movement in nature, spirituality, and the freedom of simply being.

Whether you're newly single, craving freedom, or just feeling disconnected from who you really are, this episode will inspire you to stop going through the motions and start exploring what actually lights you up.

In this episode:

• Why solo travel is one of the most powerful tools for self-discovery
• How people pleasing and emotional codependency keep you disconnected from yourself
• The six things Shanon discovered she truly loved when no one else's needs came first
• Her spiritual awakening in Hawaii and how it changed everything
• How slowing down helped her tune back into her body, her intuition, and her purpose

This is Part 1 of a multi-part series. 

Stay tuned for more lessons from the road!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hello and welcome back, Firefam. It is Memorial Day as I am recording, so it's a few days before you will hear this episode. Excited to get on the microphone today, and I'm excited to continue my Memorial Day weekend. After this, I will be in a beautiful heated pool. Does not belong to me, but I'm excited that I got invited to be somewhere with a heated pool. So I'm hype. Hopefully, you guys had a good Memorial Day weekend, or whenever you're finding this, you know, who knows? It could be like two years from now. But today's episode, I wanted to get into lessons that I learned while I was solo traveling. So this past weekend, I was hanging out with some girlfriends and we took a trip to Atlantic City, which is probably like a two and a half hour drive from where I live. We took this little adventure to celebrate my friend's birthday, and it was like at an outdoor pool club, and it poured the whole time. We danced in the rain anyway. It was also cold. So by the end, I was like shivering, freezing, but it was so, so worth it. We had so much fun just dancing and not caring, not being worried about how we look, just feeling the music, feeling the vibe, being with each other and enjoying this shared experience that we had. And it was the perfect group of girls. Something that we started talking about, which is such a coincidence because I had written these notes, or just like some I'd written these notes, just a few like key points last week before we had this conversation. So it was very serendipitous. And I was like, okay, this is definitely the episode that I'm gonna record this week. Because two of my friends were talking about solo traveling and their experience with it, because they're really in this state of just feeling liberated, right? I I think we all hit this point, and I feel like I hit it a bit early compared to other people because I started my career right after and things went really well for me. So I got to this point where like I had money to spend on traveling, but none of my friends really had the space because they were still like in that building phase, and I was already kind of in that phase where I'm like, oh yeah, like I've done did it and have the space and the freedom to do this. And so I started solo traveling because it was kind of like, well, I really want to go to these places and I feel like it's so hard to coordinate things with my friends. So like I'm just gonna do it by myself because I really want to have these experiences. I'm not afraid to go it alone, and I don't want to stop myself. So they're kind of talking about going through this journey. Like I have a friend that is or has gone through a divorce. She's like officially divorced, and so she's kind of opening up that door to doing things on her own and like relearning herself outside of that marriage. And I have another friend who is again kind of in that space where she wants to explore and she removed herself from a relationship that didn't serve her. And so over this past year, she's been doing a lot of solo traveling and really finding herself and finding what makes her happy, which is so beautiful. And that's like the biggest point of this all. You know, I think with solo traveling, the reason that it was such an important part of my journey was because I went through life trying to be the person that I thought I was supposed to be, trying to be someone that's like successful and you know, treats everyone, everyone really well and makes sure everyone around her is happy and she's so loving. And I wanted to be that good girl, right? And then I think a lot of us who are listening to this, even if you're a guy or a girl, that's what you do. Like you go through life trying to be this best version of yourself or the version that you were raised to feel is the ideal way to be a human. And so because of that, unintentionally, we tend to disconnect from things that actually light us up at times because we're so focused on building that image. And I think it's normal, right? I sometimes when I say that, I feel like there's a little bit of maybe resistance to fully accepting that I did that or that we did that in general when people hear it, because we are like, no, you know, I'm not just following the crowd, I'm following what I like. But there was a point where I could not tell what the difference was. Like I didn't even know myself truly. Like I could say and people could perceive me as like, oh, you're this and that. You love to do this, you love helping people, you love supporting people and all those other things, like, you know, to the degree to which you could experience me from the outside, but internally, I didn't check in enough as to what really made me happy. It's not that I didn't have happy moments, of course I did, and of course, we all do have some happy moments sprinkled in through our life. But sometimes you realize there's more depth. And I'm someone that likes a lot of depth. Okay. I, again, if you're into astrology, like I have a lot of energy in Scorpio. And so that I'm like, I'm actually a Libra, but a lot of my other planets are in Scorpio. And so I crave so much depth to my relationships, to my experiences. Um, and for me, I I just, you know, I realized I was only scratching the surface of my identity. My identity was all of these external things, the way people could describe me, were again outside of my internal being that weren't truly the core of who I was. It was almost like, again, I was just showing up as the type of person I wanted to be without checking in if I was truly being the person that I actually am. And there's a very distinct difference between the two. So what I realized is that oftentimes I was just going with the flow. Whatever anyone around me, oh my gosh, my English today, um, whatever people around me wanted is what I chose because the comfort, like it was just easier to be like, okay, this makes you happy, therefore I feel happy. And what I realized that pattern is definitely people pleasing. And also you are basically becoming emotionally dependent on the people around you, which is something that I grew up just dealing a lot with, where it was like I couldn't be happy unless the people around me were happy. So I was in environments where things were maybe a little bit emotionally volatile, where you didn't know what energy you were gonna get. And so for me, it was really it was kind of like a mechanism that I had developed to protect myself. If I could figure out how the people around me were gonna feel, then I could show up in a way to make them feel comfortable because that was the only way that I was gonna feel comfortable. But as you get older, you just kind of realize like you, you can't control how people around you feel. But you spend a lot of your life doing that, trying to make sure the people around you are happy because again, this was something that protected you for so long. Being able to anticipate people's emotional experiences and creating as much safety as you could was essentially a tool that was going to get you further along and be in a space where you felt okay and comfortable. I found that it it was just something that I had to break. And there was a period of time where this was like the beginning, the onset of my solo traveling, where I learned this lesson, and it wasn't in a way that I anticipated. So I went on this trip. It was a trip to Sedona, which was really exciting. I I freaking love Sedona. I'm going back to Arizona for my bachelorette. I cannot wait. And so in Sedona, there's a lot of spiritual energy. So they call them like vortexes, and so essentially the energy is really high and it can recalibrate you and you manifest really easily in the space of Arizona or in the space of these vortexes, in Sedona specifically. I do believe that they say that these vortexes, their energy expands maybe all through Arizona or even into New Mexico, something like that. And so these energy vortexes really amplify your experiences when you are there. And so one of the experiences that I very vividly remember, so I was on a solo trip, but I met up with someone that I knew while I was out there. And it was through their conversation, you know, they they had a lot of experiences around, I don't know, just life. Okay. They were they're older. So they had like 10-ish years ahead of me in existence, maybe more, I don't know, something like that. But regardless, they were telling me a lot of their perspective, which was super helpful. And I remember there was a moment where I was playing out that dynamic. I needed to make sure that they were okay so that I could be okay. And they called me out on it, which I freaking love. Like I love when people call me out on things because a lot of these patterns that we run in, we don't realize that we're doing it because they're so normal to us until someone kind of checks us on it. So I do think it's important to have those checks and balances, which really I've I've tried to also kind of like step into that, where you know, just say what you're feeling. Right, you know, they they were able to recognize it and they said to me, you know, you you are playing out that pattern. So they just essentially called it out. I forget exactly how they worded it, but it also happened in the reverse where I started to notice that I needed them to make a decision so that I could be okay. And they were like, hey, just so you know, I'm not responsible for your emotions. And I was like offended initially, right? I kind of was like, um, do you not care about my feelings? That's initially how I took it. But when they explained themselves and they're like, hey, this is a pattern that I'm just recognizing. You need me to be okay so that you can be okay. But at the same time, like if I need to go through my emotional experience, I just need you to hold space for me. I'm not asking you to change my emotional state. I just need you to be present and witness me. And at that time, that was like groundbreaking. This is like five years ago at this point. For me, I just never really understood that because I I tended to be someone that just would try to like be really positive with emotions. Like if something was difficult, it'd be like, look at the bright side, look at the bright side. I didn't realize that I was suppressing so many of my feelings. I thought I was doing something good by looking at that positive side of things. I really didn't recognize that it's actually, it actually can be damaging. I think there is a balance of being able to experience your emotions and being able to positively still move through them and see the silver lining in things. But it is not all one or all the other. Like you can't just sit in emotions for a long period of time and get stuck in that energy. You have to be able to transmute and release it. On the flip side, you can't just only look at the positive and never really face the fact that you are feeling some difficult emotions. So, needless to say, I was really thankful for that experience, even though during the time, like it was not comfortable. Being called out like that, it was like it was difficult because I, you know, again, being a people pleaser at the time, I would say like I'm a little less of one now. At that time, I just was like, wow, you know, I feel bad now because I'm doing something that this person doesn't like. So I started to feel those feelings. So a lot of emotions were coming to a head in that moment. I don't like upsetting people. So when I do something that they're saying is not favorable to them, I had a really hard time with it. And because of that, it there was just a lot of turbulence and a lot of reflection that I had to do. And I had to learn when I was playing out that pattern so that I could redirect it and shift it. So I'm already diving into the lessons. I had like a little list for you guys for what I experienced, which is about seven things long. I think I might do a two-part series on this because there are so many beautiful lessons that came out of the experience of traveling alone. In general, I'm just someone that loves to explore and I feel that there's something really, really expansive about the experience of being in a different place and being somewhere where no one knows you. I really needed that in my life because again, I had always been worried, not worried, the right word would be more like conscious of how people perceived me. Again, growing up, I feel like in Arab culture, there's a lot, there's like a really big judgment wound in Arab culture a lot of people, or at least just maybe the way I grew up and kind of what I noticed, especially like back in Syria, when I think back to that time, I used to spend many summers in Syria, but I haven't been back since 2010 because of the war kind of hitting its head shortly after that, and then I started college. So, you know, with that timing, life got a bit busier. So it has been a while since I've been in Syria. It's crazy to think it's been 16 years. But back in Syria, it's like life was just a little bit different. It's a bit more slower paced. That's definitely different now. That's not the case because of technology and things have developed more. But when I was there, it's you know, you kind of think back and it's just different because people are a lot more community focused. Like people are hanging out every single day. Like you're out in your neighborhood, you're seeing everyone, you're seeing your neighbors daily, and you guys yap, right? And things don't stay secrets. Like I would always joke that like if you sneezed, people all the way down at the opposite side of the village would like know that you sneezed within an hour's time or something, just because news traveled so quickly. So I mean, I guess you could say that's kind of gossipy in a sense, but yeah, I mean, that's just the reality of it, reality of it. And I feel people have that wound of judgment because it's really easy to talk about someone else and ignore what's going on in your life. So I felt like it was really common that people would do their best to stay hush-hush about their experiences so that other people wouldn't know. There was almost like this front, oftentimes people would put on to make it seem like their life was great or they're doing really well. But then behind closed doors, things could be messy, and that's freaking normal. That's the thing of it. Like, no one goes through this life unscathed. Everyone's family's got some stuff going on. Every human, every individual goes through difficult things. You know, to some degree, I guess you can evade difficult things by ignoring and suppressing and denying some of these experiences, but eventually I feel like you kind of have to face them to evolve. The longer you ignore these things, you kind of stunt your own personal development and growth. If you want to expand your capacity to experience greater things, hold more money, hold better relationships, you have to face some of the ugly bits of life, right? You can't just ignore things and have fun and put on the show and get yourself to that next level. I think that you can tap into it, like without a doubt. I think you can kind of push yourself, but eventually you kind of hit this point where you have to face things because you eventually can't escape them. The universe will make it so loud. If you have to learn this lesson, if you are destined to experience certain things in life and certain emotions and certain evolutions, you just have to face the music at some point. So you can run, you can try to run, but eventually if you don't pay attention, the universe just gets louder and louder until you do. And I surely, truly believe that. I think what is meant for you will always find you. And sometimes it is on the other side of something really difficult, something painful that you have to face. Um, and that's okay. That's the beauty of life. That's, you know, once you kind of accept that you in order to experience the opposite high, you kind of have to experience the opposite low of that thing. So these painful experiences really do break us open for something greater. And yeah, that that's gonna be my tangent. So I'm gonna jump back onto my list. That I actually never started. I'm saying I'm jumping back on as if there was another spot. I'm gonna take a little sip of coffee. Ah, that's nice. I side note again before I jump into my list. I haven't been drinking coffee really much recently. I was thinking that it was bothering my stomach because I was like struggling with acid reflux for a stint of time, maybe a couple months. So I removed coffee and was like drinking tea, which there was another point. When I went through my first big spiritual awakening, which is actually around the time when I went to Sedona the first time. So that really started my awakening. I stopped drinking coffee. Isn't that interesting? Like, I I've been thinking about that. I'm like, oh, is this another sign that I'm going through another big awakening, a big transition? Possibly, you know, there's lots of things always floating around in my mind about the way I want to express myself in the world. And this is one of them. Like, this is one of my favorite ways to express myself. I just freaking love podcasting so much. But anyway, I don't know, we'll come back to that. Maybe, like, if you keep listening and following along with my story, maybe this is something. But I did make coffee today because my fiance was over. He likes coffee. We spent the morning together, so there we have it. I made a pot of coffee and I drank some, and I feel okay right now, but anyway, not the point of this podcast. So we'll put a pin in that and revisit it at a later time. Alright, so on to my list. The first big lesson, which I already kind of tapped into, is knowing what I would do without anyone's influence. I really freaking needed to know this. I again, because of that people pleasery part of me, because I just, I don't know, the Libra side of me, I just want everyone to be happy. I want everyone to be having a good time. As long as they were having a good time and we chose what they wanted, then I could feel happy. But truly, when I was left to my own devices, I was kind of like, okay, what would I do? If I wasn't worried about making money, if I wasn't worried about making people happy, what would I be doing with my time? This was an opportunity to see that. So I just completely removed myself from the space that I was living in so that no one could like call me and say they needed this or they needed that, because I would be the type of person that, you know, if my parents asked me anything, I would drop whatever I was doing to go do it. If my friends asked me something, I would go do it. Like I was the yes girl. Anything anyone asked, yes, was always the answer. And people knew that. And like that's okay. However, I had to start to recognize that I I truly didn't know myself in that sense. I was so emotionally dependent on other people. And again, I did I wasn't aware that I was until now, and through that experience in that first trip, but I I really had to kind of be like, okay, I don't know what I really want. And the trip where I really found that. So in 2022, I took a trip to Hawaii and I stayed there for a month. And I stayed in a hostel, so it wasn't like glamorous, because this was around the time that I decided to close my physical business, fuel the fire initially. So I took that break from my business and I just desperately needed it. I had to figure out what I really wanted because I felt like really empty at that time and just like aimless. I was like, something feels off, and I don't know what it is, and I don't know how to hear myself think. I was depleted beyond belief. And at this time, because I knew that I was closing my business, I wanted to do it in a way that I was cost efficient because I knew that I wanted to be there for a month. And I at that time I really thought I was going to be living this like nomadic lifestyle. Um, but yeah, so I did it for a month. I stayed at a hostel there, and it was my opportunity to just wake up and be like, what does Shannon want? What would make me happy right now? Nothing else matters but learning myself and doing what feels good. The things that I learned about myself, I have a cute little list of six things that I really realized how much I really enjoyed myself when experiencing. The first thing was art museums. Growing up, I loved art. I always had to be taking an art class in school. And even when I went to college, I took some art classes, which I have such fond memories of. But at that time, when I told my parents that I had an interest in art, like I was always very much an arts and science girly, but my parents were not super supportive of that. Um having first generation, being a first-generation American, like I'm, you know, my parents weren't born here. For them, they didn't understand my interest in art. They were like, okay, that's like a hobby, that's not a career. And so I didn't pursue it as a career. Because again, I was very much people pleaser. If they said no, then I was going to listen to my parents at that point in time. And so even though like I've always really loved art, I it just wakes something up in me. Like I love sculptures so much. That is probably my favorite art form to do and also to observe. I just, uh, like it just feels so good to think about like clay in my hands and just the emotions that come out of me when I see art. Like it's to me, it is so beautiful and liberating and such a nice form of self-expression. So many days I would find like a new art museum to experience, to witness. And at that time, I had this like Kwan Yin Oracle deck that I was obsessed with. And I still do love it. I don't use my Oracle decks as much anymore. But this Oracle deck was so cute, and it was all about the goddess Quan Yin, who's like the goddess of compassion. And I really connected to the story. I love the stories about her. And there was a museum that I went to, and somehow I don't like again, I just feel like it's this weird intuitive knowing that you have. I was just energetically drawn to this piece. I saw it and I sat there and I stared at it, and I was like, oh my gosh, this is there's something about this. Like I feel a major energetic shift, just being in the presence of this sculpture. And then when I realized it, I looked down and I saw like what it was called. And it, and it was a Kwan Yin sculpture, and I like couldn't believe it. I was like, I didn't even recognize that because she's depicted in so many different ways. And this one, I just I just didn't recognize that it was her. You know, the the figure was a little bit broken. So it was something that was actually resurrected from a, you know, maybe some kind of temple or a building somewhere, and they had it preserved in this art museum. I was captivated. I sat there probably, I I don't know exactly how long, probably at least 30 minutes. And this is kind of funny. Um, the security guard came over and was like, ma'am, you can't obstruct this view. And I looked around, I'm like, there's literally no one else in here. Like, literally not another soul. Like someone passed by, but I just was like, I'm literally sitting on this bench that you guys have placed here to observe. Someone would think. Like, why would you have a bench in the middle of the art museum if you're not allowed to use it? I was very confused. I was like, okay, like you need me to not be here. And she was like, Yeah, you can't just sit here. I think they were just maybe thinking I was like finding shelter, seeking shelter. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There is a high homeless population in Hawaii, unfortunately. And so they probably, I don't know, maybe they perceived me as homeless. It could have been very, I probably looked disheveled. I really don't know. But they asked me to leave. And I was like, that is really um low-key kind of embarrassing, but whatever. You know, I was like, uh, it's fine. And once I kind of explained to her what I was feeling, I was like, I'm sorry, I just felt really captivated, captivated by this piece. And I let her know how I was feeling, and she's like, oh, that's okay. I just so you know, if if this really truly is speaking to you and you're here visiting, there are a lot of Kwanyan temples around this area that you can go check out. And I was like, oh, cool. You know what? I will check out a temple. So that was kind of nice, even though in the in the moment I was kind of like embarrassed. It's fine. I think it led me to something else because I did end up going to see and look into those temples, and they like spoke to my soul. Like there is something so beautiful about that experience. But yeah, art museums freaking love. Um, and that that just really reminded me like I need to bring art into my life. Something I always talk about with my clients is how important creative expression is. It does not matter who you are, you need some form of creativity in your life, and that can look many different ways. Yes, art is one of them, but art can be so many things. Art can be in the way that you cook, art can be in you planting flowers, art can be you decorating your house, art can be you doing landscaping, it can be building things, it can be the work that you do. Your creative expression can be dancing, it could be the way you work out, the way you move your body. That can look very unique to you. Any place where you're tapping into your sacral chakra energy, where you're opening up and releasing something, expressing something, using your voice, singing, it doesn't matter what it is, it gets to be very uniquely you. Any combination of things where you feel that you are fully expressing the essence of your being, that's that's a form of creativity. So embrace it. It's something that you need, it's something as humans that we need, but we often deny ourselves of because we sink into this like little, like almost like a little robot doing what we think we're supposed to be doing. And we kind of lose that sense of humanity. Like we you lose that sense of what it is to be human in those moments. So find your form of creativity. It really was a big lesson for me, just my natural gravitation towards it. It was definitely something that I was missing. At the time when I was cooking or teaching cooking classes, it made me lose that form of creativity through my food. Although I was doing it, because I was like pumping it out in a way that I couldn't keep up with, it was kind of losing that expression for me. It was losing it, it almost felt like work versus my freedom. And so I really had lost so much of my expression. I was just going through the motions of life and feeling less at that point. I just was like, okay, I'm just a cog in the machine. I just keep going. That's it. I just keep grinding. But no, I really realized how much I needed that. The second thing that I realized that I would do without anyone's influence was laying in the sun. I did not take breaks at all. I did not slow down. I would wake up at that point in my life. I would get up at 4 a.m., get to the gym by 5, like be working out by 5 a.m., come home, prepare myself for work, work from like 8 a.m. until 8 p.m. many days. I just filled myself with work and things that were growing the business. And then I would like be so exhausted that I would just pass out and like do it all over again. You could not hang out with me Monday through Friday. Like I just, I couldn't do it because I was number one so busy and I just couldn't pull myself away from my work. I just was like, okay, if this is not progressing my future, then I don't have time for it Monday through Friday. Like you can see me on the weekend. I was really like, I was so serious. And again, another placement in my astrology, if you're an astrology person, I have a lot of Capricorn energy, which is kind of like that boss baby energy, which I love. I like really love that part about myself. However, I can take it to an extreme. So like my moon sign is in Capricorn, so it's really easy for me to set aside my emotions so that I can work and progress my career and be serious. So I was just too serious at that point. And being able to just like lay in the sun and relax and like actually melt. Like I would just soak up the sun, listen to the sounds of the ocean, and just exist. No pressure to do anything. I like I didn't I didn't even know how much I loved lounging like that and just being, right? Like not doing anything, just being. Like I was reading a book. Oh my gosh, I kind of forgot about that. I don't, I don't think I actually finished the book. Um I'm trying to remember the name of it, but it is, I have a tattoo on my wrist, literally. It's like a rising woman tattoo. And so it is the person behind the brand Rising Woman, Rebecca, something. I wow, I'm really blanking. But anyway, she has a book and it kind of was about, I think it was maybe it was called Becoming the One, I think. And it was really about like finding that deep place of self-love. And I remember it was just so perfect because that, as I was talking about earlier, was talking about being someone who was not emotionally codependent, essentially, like how I really was. I was just, again, dependent on everyone's emotions around me. And I needed everything around me to be okay for me to be okay. And that book was, even though it was like a deep read, it was really nice because it was liberating. It was making me kind of check myself on a lot of those things that were actually holding me back. The things that were keeping me safe were also the things that were holding me back. So I had to break that pattern, even though it was creating safety within me. I had to break it so that I could get to that next level version of myself in the sense that I could be someone that was more emotionally stable and balanced. Again, I ignored a lot of my emotions, but I didn't want to keep ignoring them. I also wanted to be able to allow people to have their independent emotional experiences without having to get looped into it. And I think that just makes you a better person, a better provider, better practitioner when you can hold space for someone without it becoming your emotions. Okay. So taking breaks, laying in the sun, I loved that. The third thing I really loved was hula hooping. So this. Um, so like there's so many things I want to say on this piece. I would go down to the beach, so I'd like to wake up in my hostel. Um, there was a shared fridge, but oftentimes what I would do is I would go to like, it was like an ABC store, so it's kind of like a 7-Eleven, but maybe it's like Hawaii's version of 7-Eleven. So I'd go down to one of those stores and you could get a masubi, which is essentially like rice with like spam, and you could get it with like egg or chicken or something like that. And it was wrapped in seaweed. Um, so it was almost like a Hawaiian sandwich, if you will. So that was pretty cheap, especially because like I was basically like eating most of my meals out every day. This was a very cost-efficient way to get my meal in, and I like really freaking liked it. I like, I love misubi. You can ask my friends, I sometimes force them to come eat misubi with me, but it's not really forced. They're like, oh, this is good. And I'm like, heck yeah. It's delicious. Um, people look down on spam, but I grew up eating spam and I freaking love it. Like fried spam, you cannot tell me that's not freaking delicious. You need to open yourself up to if you have not. But anyway, I would wake up, get my little, my little misubi, and the first thing that I would do is like go do yoga or go on the beach, and I would just listen to music and hula hoop. Like just get my hips moving. I'm a booty yoga teacher, and part of the principle of booty. So booty is looked at as movement medicine. The spiraling and shaking are unique elements that are part of the booty practice, and they're in there because they help essentially release trauma that is stuck and stored in the body. So, spiraling the hips, spiraling the chest, shaking. These are all things that actually restructure. They call it like cellular reorganization. So essentially, you are releasing stuck energy. Through the practice of hula hooping because of the way my hips were moving, it felt really good. I think I was like starting to become aware of why it was feeling so good. I think I was just doing it for fun because it made me feel like a kid again. It made me feel playful. Like it was just fun. And so that's what I was doing. And people would always comment on it. They would just like I think I was just like radiating this free energy when I was hula hooping. Like I just had this travel hula hoop, so you could like break it down and then like clip it back together. And I would just play music and hula hoop and I would just be happy. I'm just like chilling in the sand, listening to music. Just like I felt like a little hippie girl, honestly. Just like a little free spirit. Like it, I didn't care. I was like, no one knows me. I don't care if this is embarrassing. I don't care if it's weird. Like, I'm vibing. And that's what I did. And people loved it. They were like inspired by it. People would would like walk by all the time and like make positive, kind comments and just be like, wow, I love this. Like, oh, you're so cute. Like, I would wear this was like my space bun era. I had like space buns in my hair, probably my entire trip of Hawaii. That was like my go-to look. So I'm my little space buns in, my little pink and gold hula hoop, and probably some kind of like fun bikini, just like vibe in again. And yeah, I think it was just liberating for people to also be like, oh, here's this adult woman just like living her life carefree. And I know when I see people like that, like I love it. And it it puts a smile on my face. And I'm like, wow, I want some of that energy. Because isn't that what we all want? And like that, that's just beautiful to just be able to exist and not worry about any judgment, to not have judgment cross your mind and just be like, I'm doing this because this feels good. And that's it. I don't need more of a reason. It just feels good and I'm happy. I feel liberated, and I'm just carefree. Like that feeling, I wish I could just bottle it up and drink it. And I just I want more and more of that. So I choose those experiences that make me feel that way more and more. The fourth thing that I did without anyone's influence is just move at a slower pace. Like I hate being rushed, but like I literally lived my life in a rush because I felt like I had to. I feel like everyone, like growing up, again, I um without getting like too deep into it, I just like I felt like everyone in my family was always just like moving fast. It was like there is this thing in Arabic, a phrase called berdi. So essentially, um, I don't think I said it very well, berdi. So essentially cold. That's what it means. Like this means that you move really slowly. And my family would always tease me that I was berdi. And it frustrated me so much. I was just like, but like, why rush? So what if I want to take my time and like be in this moment? Like, what are we rushing for? But I didn't really ask those questions. I was just like, hmm, yeah, something's wrong with me. Like, why am I so slow? Why am I like this? So literally, I just was like speeding through life. Everything was always like maximizing every moment of every day, doing so many things at once. It was just like, it was exhausting. It was exhausting, and I did not recognize it until I was friggin' depleted. And then it made me pull back and just be like, okay, you know, like I always just constantly had this anxiety that I like wasn't doing enough. And I remember feeling that even as a kid. Like I would just, you know, like if I wasn't doing something productive, I was like wasting my time. I remember being at my friend's house on a Saturday and I was like, I must leave because I must study. I must leave because I need to really be practicing basketball or soccer. Because like this fun is not productive and it's not making me better for my future. Like that's crazy. Like I, that was like middle school. I would have those thoughts and just be like, I need to be doing more. I need to hurry up. Everything was such a freaking rush. And like, for what? You know, like again, I got to this peak so fast, like in my 20s, like mid-20s. Like I made money and I like didn't know what to do with it. And I had this career success and I didn't know how to handle it. And it was just like, you know, I rushed to get there for what? And then I like took a big step backwards. You know, I like I hate to say that because I have no regrets about my decisions to pull back from my business when I did, because I really freaking needed that. As you're hearing from this episode, a lot of these lessons I would have never learned if I didn't take this huge month break from my life.

SPEAKER_00 39:51

Taking another sip of coffee. But I needed that. I really did.

SPEAKER_01 39:59

And that slower pace was something I realized that I could put into my life. I didn't have to rush. There was no real rush. It's self-created. Rush to get to the same place. Like I like it just, it's never worth it. And very recently, I had another very big moment where I felt like I was being rushed. And I was like, oh my gosh, I have to get here. I can't be late. I can't do this. I need to hurry, hurry, hurry. And like you can feel rush on that small level, and you can feel it on a grand scheme of life level. But in that moment, I freaking sliced my hand open. I was like rushing to make breakfast and I cut my hand open. It was so freaking painful. I almost puked because I like really cut myself deep. I was scared that I had to get stitches. Um, but I I was okay, no worries. But it just made me realize, like, okay, then I like forced myself to slow down. I cut my hand and like, of course, I have to go take care of this. I have a freaking open wound. I can't just ignore it. So it was just a reminder, and I was like, this is why we do not rush. So take a chill pill, everything will be okay. And most of the time, it like probably like every freaking time, it is fine. And that feeling of rush, that feeling of anxiety is just in your head. It was just in my head, right? Like, I really did not have to rush, even though I lived by that for most of my life. So that slower place, so we're slower pace was beautiful. The fifth thing that I did a lot of was hiking. Oh my gosh. I love being in nature, and I did not realize how crucial that was for me. Hawaii is breathtaking. There's something about rocks and water, like I just love being around it. The natural beauty is something that just brings you into that moment and you just feel it in your soul. Just getting to witness Mother Nature, it just immaculate. I loved it so, so, so much. And just being able to walk, you know, like I didn't go to a gym at all during my time in Hawaii. My movement was from walking, or like sometimes I would get they had these like bicky bikes. So essentially, like you could rent the bike and then go park it at another station so I could get around. And I loved that. That's all I really did. So hiking was such a good experience because I got to be excuse me, I got to be around these beautiful places, these beautiful sites. And having that time, and there's also something called human design that I love. And there is an element of your human design that talks about the environments that like you know, you have like one ideal environment, not that you can't experience positivity in many, but I think there are places that you're gonna feel most liberated and open, and mine is mountains. So when I'm hiking and I'm getting higher and higher into a mountain on top of a hill, that does something for my soul. And I really embraced that part of myself and I loved it so much, like being up high, getting this beautiful view. It was, it was just great. And I really realized how powerful the activity of walking was. It was something that I didn't consider to be valid movement because I was a competitor and I was always used to pushing big weights, powerlifting, crossfitting. It it had to be extreme. But walking, it's so simple, it's so relaxing. You don't really need to like push hard. You can just do it. And it felt good. It felt relaxing on my nervous system. And I really embraced that form of movement. And The emotional experience that I would get that sense of freedom, liberation, expansion from hiking. And I loved it. Okay, and the sixth thing, listen, guys, this is funny. This is only my point number one. What I would do without anyone's influence. I have six other points that I have not even tapped into, and I have a whole second list. I thought that I was gonna do one through seven for you for my lessons that I learned. I thought I was gonna do one through seven and then hit you with the other odds and ends of the random things. Like when I journaled during my time in Hawaii, I made a list of like I don't know what I would call them, like lessons for a lack of a better word. I'm like, okay, yeah, this is like a good key point. But anyway, I thought I was gonna split into that. I've not even got past point one of things that I did without anyone's influence, but these are great. I'm gonna probably end up having to do a three to four part series on this with how much I'm getting into this. But I feel like this is gold, so I really want to share it because these are such good lessons for me. And I hope that someone else is who is like tapping into those solo trips or curious about solo expiration, I highly encourage you to do it. Okay, so my sixth marker of point one is spirituality. This is a time where I really dipped back into my spirituality. I had I've always believed in God, but I questioned some things or some forms or parts of religion, and I needed to explore my relationship with God independent of religion, and it felt scary to do because you know, you're just kind of raised in a way to believe in religion, and so going outside of that, and a lot of my morals and values were picked up from that, it felt scary to question my relationship with a higher power, but I also knew deep down that it was an invitation for me to develop a personal relationship, and I think that's really important to not just take everything you hear at face value when it comes to spirituality. There are many distorted things that religions do. They take the words from the Bible and shape it into something that fits a specific narrative, but I needed to form my own opinions, my own interpretation of lessons from God. My personal belief is that we all have God within us, we are the essence of God.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

Um, and so, you know, I I think everything around us is God.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

And I know many people, like from a religious perspective, if I were to make this statement of like I am God, I mean that sounds so insane to many people, but like if we are of God, then how could we deny that we are not also God, if that makes sense? And I don't mean it in this way of like I know better than everyone. No, we are all created in connection to each other, like we are all one, we are all the essence, and we have to wake up to our connection and who we are and our relationship with the divine and what that really means for us. This was a time where I really deeply explored things because there is so much history in Hawaii, like the land that they have and the places where you can experience these spiritual experiences and the power of energy and their beliefs and practices, it's it's just immaculate. Like what an amazing place for me to have my spiritual awakening. So there's so many notes on my experience with my spirituality and that awakening from that place. And I'm just gonna touch on them very briefly. The first one, I'm gonna have to look in my phone for what the name of it was, but there is this place, it was like called the birthing stones. Like it, I mean, it had a very Hawaiian name, but this is where essentially women would go to give birth to like the next ruler or emperor or something like that. And so there are these stones, and there was like an exact timing and structure to it all, and carvings in the stones and like different parts where this is where the men would stand and they would put their legs here and they'd hold the woman up in the air to give birth to this person, and the this other person would stand by the tree, and like the sun would set, and this was like the exact center where everything was quiet and calm of the island, and you're surrounded by mountains, so you're protected from the wind and like all this stuff. And I was just like, wow, this is amazing. And so it was actually really like I had read about it and found it, and a lot of people were like, How did you find it? Because tourists like don't really know about it. And I just was like in a deep rabbit hole, probably like on Reddit. So I had to go through so many loops just to get able, like just to be able to see this land. Um, because they don't just give public tours anymore, but I found my way and it was just amazing. And then two, I met someone there that was a spiritual teacher and I connected with her. Um, she welcomed me into her home. So at this time I was like starting to have pain. Um, I was like my tooth was like, my jaw was like swollen from a tooth infection. It was insane. Um, which I'm gonna tap into that element probably in a later part of the series. But anyway, she welcomed me into her home and she supported me through that time, and she was also teaching me a lot, which was so beautiful. Um, and it it really connected me deeper to my intuition, um, which was beautiful. So the this just how important my spirituality is to me was really awakened and affirmed. And it's something that I wanted to lead my life with that I wasn't before. I was very much disconnected from my internal navigation system, which I believe is like our messages from God, from our higher self. I couldn't hear it because I was so busy, just so disconnected from my body and the way that it's being communicated to me. So that in it of itself really made me realize that needs to be my navigation system, and I have to reconnect to myself. Okay, so I'm gonna drop it there because we are nearing an hour just for point one. Again, I like can't believe myself sometimes. Um, but yeah, I I really love this episode and getting to share some of these lessons because I've been really wanting to do this. And I hope that from listening to this, it encourages you to step outside the box and start exploring that. Um, if you are really wanting to figure out who you are without anyone's influence. My Body and Soul Freedom program is perfect for this because this is this is when I created it. It was through my experiences in my solo traveling that reconnected to me, reconnected me to who I am. And it was the birth of this program. These were the lessons that were integrated. This is when I went through my additional certifications in life coaching, in somatic practices, in reconnecting to the body. This is where my lessons were really deepened and my studies took a turn like into this deeper human connection and soul liberation that woke me up to so much of a juicier, fuller life. Truly. I was able to call in the things into my life that I so deeply craved, but feared that I never would have. But through that slowing down, through that time with myself, I realized what the keys were to unlocking those parts of myself, to realize who I actually am, to see what I really wanted out of this reality. If you're feeling that same call, shoot me a message and let's jump on a complimentary call to talk through it and see if body and soul freedom is that key that you need. So yeah, if this episode really spoke to you, I really encourage you to check it out because it very much probably is a match. I have it linked in the show notes. So go check it out. Um, but if you want to start with a free consultation, I'm so, so happy to do that. Just shoot me a message, either email or on Instagram. All right, so stay tuned. There's going to be a part two. I don't know how long this series will be. Being that I talk this much about point one, who knows? But anyway, love you guys so much.