Letting Go of Your Old Identity

Have you ever had it all on paper — the business, the body, the hustle — and still felt completely empty inside? That moment might not be a breakdown. 

It might be a breakthrough.

In this solo episode, Shanon gets raw and real about her own identity shift — stepping away from the world of competitive fitness and weight loss coaching to fully embrace the somatic, spiritual, and soul-led work she does today. 

She walks you through the 8 stages of letting go of your old identity, from the awakening and the grief to the void, the falter, and the beautiful recalibration that waits on the other side.

If you're in the middle of becoming someone new — and it feels like you're losing your mind — this episode is exactly what you need to hear.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, hello, Firefam. Welcome back to another episode. I'm excited to be with you guys this week. I'm actually recording this on a Saturday instead of a Monday. I have a vacation coming up, which I'm really looking forward to. It is something that has taken me a long time to be at peace with, being able to step away from my business for a period of time and truly disconnect. I used to feel so much guilt over this, and this is something that I recognized is something that's really deep in my lineage. I come from a long line of very hard workers. I told my parents that I was going away on vacation. I needed them to also water my garden. And also I see my parents once or twice a week on average. So I was just updating them on my life in general. When I told my dad, his first response was, Well, if you're going on vacation, who's going to be working? And that really brought me back to a very specific moment that when I was living at home when I first started fuel the fire, I was working really long hours. This is when I was in my like super hardcore grind era, where I was waking up at 4 a.m., training at five, coming home, getting to work, having all my meals prepped, working all day long, coming back home at 8 p.m. and passing out and just doing it all over again. It was amazing for the success and growth of my business at the time, but my personal life was definitely difficult. I like you could not talk to me Monday through Friday, even Saturday and Sunday. I had to prioritize my work. If I was away from work, I would feel such guilt and anxiety. All I could think about was like, oh my gosh, I need to be doing more, progressing my future, doing something that's going to be making more money, advancing the business, etc. I really had to unlearn that. And it just reminded me of a moment when I came home one of those days when I was living at home. I just always love to like take myself on a tangent here. But back to the point, I remember coming home and I was filling up my water bottle, and you could see my dad in the living room from where I was standing. And I said to him, like, oh my gosh, I am exhausted. Right. I think I was maybe two or three years or something like that into the business. And I was just really tired from these long hours and kind of feeling like there was not enough space for me to get other things out of my life that I wanted to experience outside of my career. And he was like, Shannon, you just got to do this for another like 10, 15 years. And I was like, oh my gosh, I cannot and I will not survive. I just had absolute panic in my mind when he said that. And it just kind of reminded me of what I really saw growing up. You know, he worked really hard, he had multiple businesses. I would describe my dad as a serial entrepreneur. He's tried so many different things, had so many unique experiences. And I really looked up to that. The fact that he was always able to make things work, no matter what he started. But one thing that I noticed was he changed businesses often. And I always said that I would never do that. And then, of course, you know, I had that faltering, which kind of taps into some of what we're going to get into on today's topic. But yeah, I kind of had this step back and I was like, oh my gosh, can I really do this for the rest of my life? Is this really what I want to be doing forever? Can I really expend this much energy and pour into my career to this degree and still be able to have a family, to find a partner, to travel, to explore, to do things that I know really light me up inside. And so coming back to this moment, my response to my father when he asked me who is going to be working, I gently reminded him, I said, Hey, I'm not going to subscribe to the idea that you work hard now and play later. Because when I did that, later never came. So I hope that this also gives him permission to slow down and take breaks because I still see him kind of running that pattern. And I love my parents so much and they've taught me so much, and I'm so, so grateful. And I think with every generation, there's always going to be points of evolution, right? This is how your parents did it. And the hope, especially if you have loving parents or you are a loving parent, that you want more, that you want better, that you want your children to experience more joy, to have it easier than you had it, to give them experiences that you felt like you weren't able to give, to teach them things that were really hard lessons for you to learn so that they don't have to experience the same pain that you did going through that lesson. And part of that, I think in my lineage is really around work and value and self-worth, even. So going into today's topic, keeping that in mind, letting go of an old identity. This was a huge identity shift for me on a personal level. I really want to get into it with you guys and share my experience of going through what it felt like to let go of an old identity to step into a new version of yourself. I'm gonna get into the nitty-gritty of things because I don't feel like we all talk about it amongst people that we are around, even on a conscious level. I don't think that we always are aware. A lot of people don't take the time and space to reflect upon the things that I'm going to share with you today. If you are listening, you are likely someone that is reflective. So that's beautiful. I'm so happy that you are here and I commend you that you are likely either in the midst of this somewhere. You know, I put like an eight-step stage, or I should say like eight stages of this process so that I can really get into each element so that you can normalize this in your life and your experience. When you go through letting go of an old identity, you can feel crazy and people around you don't necessarily get it because number one, they're not going through it yet. Number two, they don't even want to start this path because it's scary to let go of things. It's a lot more comfortable to stay exactly where you are and to show up as the person everyone has always expected you to be. This is truly a path of self-actualization. You're really becoming the version of you that you know you're meant to be. You're stopping and saying, I recognize the patterns I've been running, the way I've been showing up in the world, or the actions I've been taking aren't in alignment. You start to feel that discomfort somewhere and you know you're ready to shift. So other people, again, you know, it's like when they're in different phases or you're slightly further in the stages than someone else, it's really hard for them to wrap their mind around it. So sharing this, my hope is that people start to kind of feel like, okay, I'm not insane for this because that's really how I felt. I felt absolutely crazy. No one around me understood what I was going through. This, um, I'm gonna talk about this. I mean, I feel like I've had multiple identity shifts, but I'll use it in reference to I'll kind of like get into it about my experience with shifting my business. So my entire identity was wrapped around my business. Okay. I am still a dietitian. So at the time, we'll say like five, I, you know, maybe like six years ago. Okay, we'll throw it back six years ago, 2020, very pivotal time for many people. At that time, you know, I was deciding to slow down with competing. I was still doing some competitions for fun in CrossFit, and I decided, you know what, I just want to be a healthy person. I had a lot of lingering pains. And so I was ready to kind of let go of that identity, but I was really scared because of the shifts that it would cause in my body. If my body changed, being a dietitian, especially because I was all about fitness and nutrition, I was afraid that people wouldn't respect me anymore. I was afraid that if my body changed, my business would automatically suffer. If I wasn't in shape and fit, people wouldn't take me seriously. I felt like I had an image to uphold because I was doing more and trying to become the face of this business and expand the business and hire more people and diversify what we offered. So not feeling the best in my body or not being someone that I've always been and like trying to step into something new that I really couldn't formulate felt extremely scary. I didn't know exactly what was on the other side. I had bits and ideas of things that I wanted to lean more into. Like, you know, for example, the meditation piece I really love. The somatic experiences I like to share with people, really expanding upon like the yoga and the personal development side of things, helping people tap into their intuition, helping them work through the blocks that are actually stopping them from being truly happy. That has always been the core of what I wanted to support people with. And while I do believe and still believe that health and nutrition is a big element of that, it's not the only part of the journey. I was so afraid how people were going to perceive me for making this shift. I came from the space of bodybuilding and powerlifting and CrossFit competitions. And there's a lot of masculine energy in sports in that way because you kind of have to lean into that element of your being when you're in competition, because competition is very much like a masculine energy trait. I was horrified by the judgment. I I still have moments where I think about it. Like, you know, I go to the gym now and I still have moments where I'm like, oh, you know, if I lean more into the softer side of me or the part of me that loves to dance, the part of me that doesn't believe that I have to keep pushing my body to an extreme to experience health and muscle growth and, you know, being healthy, it's really tough. It's challenging to still face that because I'm only human, right? We're all only human and reminding ourselves that even if you're elevating and evolving and taking the spiritual path. I've been seeing posts on this online too, like it always brings you back to the human experience because that's what you came here to do. Regardless of what you believe, you're still here to be human. You're in your little human meat suit. So do your human thing and be okay with it. We're not meant to be perfect, and that is something that I always keep coming back to. So let's jump into these stages. I would love to share them with you, and I'll kind of layer my story in as we go through these different stages. So, stage one is the awakening. It's realizing that there is a change that needs to occur. You're waking up to things and noticing that they don't feel the way they once felt. They're no longer serving you in the way that they once did. For me, part of that was the way I was helping people lose weight. Although I would say that that is part of the experience, almost it's almost like a byproduct of making healthy choices. It's not for everyone. For some people, gaining weight is part of that experience, but I was really known for helping people lose weight because feeling confident in your body is important. And sometimes to some people, and depending, like that is part of the journey of making healthy choices and leaning into that. The way I had been teaching it was very focused on losing weight, counting calories, being really meticulous, being super precise, using apps to track. I supported people doing that. And sometimes I still do because I do think that those are educational tools that can be really beneficial, but there's different ways of tracking that work better for some rather than others, and you have to figure out what works for you. But anyway, the point being is I noticed that there was a lot more to life than just being constantly worried about how you looked and losing those last few pounds. At that point, I hadn't really been taking on any new clients personally, except if they were in the realm of the body and soul freedom program, which at the time I think I called Fuel Fire Soul Academy. It is now rebranded as the Body and Soul Freedom Program. It really started back then. Actually, there's a couple iterations. There was also a program I had that was called um mind body coaching, I want to say. Um, but anyway, with that being said, that was the only type of new client I was taking on. So a lot of my clients I had been seeing for a few years. And those clients were definitely further along in their journey because they had been on it for so long. So things were starting to get into the nitty-gritty. It's like, okay, I really want to take it to the next level. And so the small things really start to matter when you're trying to get super lean. And at the time that was very important to me and my identity too. Like I felt like I wanted to be super lean and super muscular. And I remember with certain clients, I just thought to myself, like, I could see it, I could feel it, that they were exhausted from trying this hard, from being this meticulous, from doing what they know they're supposed to be doing and still needing to make shifts. Kind of recognizing that their energy was burning out on this, and it wasn't really bringing them the emotional experience or fulfillment that they wanted it to bring. You think once you get there, once you get to the body or the goal weight or the goal body fat percentage that suddenly things are gonna shift. The weight loss, the way that you change in our mind is going to bring us something more than just the number, right? We think it's gonna bring us, you know, a better sex life or the partner that we really desire or respect from our family. You know, so often people's weight loss journeys were tied to something deeper that really didn't have anything to do with food. Food was just a dynamic that they were playing out. And I could see that, but I didn't know how to communicate it. And I could feel it in my own life, where it was so important to me because part of that and looking a certain way was me wanting to attract a partner. I felt like I had to be this perfect girl to deserve that love. And deep down, that was probably my biggest driving factor. I really craved validation, especially from men, because I wanted to feel desired. I wanted to feel like I was someone, you know, like I wanted to be the hot girl. I wanted to be the it girl. I wanted that attention. It made my ego feel good. And I think that's normal. So I'm not gonna say that you should stop desiring to feel sexually alive and charged and attractive because every person has the right to have that. And I also think that's important, but it comes on a deeper level, not just from changing your body. There's an identity shift and many things that we'll get into along these stages that couple up with that. So in this phase where I was really starting to realize there was more to just looking a certain way, people around me again didn't understand. I felt like I was hitting a rock bottom because I did all the things I thought I was supposed to do. I made all this money, I built this successful business, I was in the best shape of my life, and yet I felt empty inside. So at this point, too, things started to get a little bit messy. I didn't fully realize what I was going through. And this leads into stage two, which is the cry for help. I was just, I felt like I was losing my mind. I remember at this point, I was starting to try to change little things or make little shifts because I felt some degree of discomfort, like I knew something was off, and I was just throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what it was that I needed to shift to start feeling better and to start feeling happier. But instead, everything was falling apart. So, you know, I should have probably put that in there because that's an important step. So I'm gonna couple that in there, even though I didn't originally write it in my notes. There is a huge crumbling piece to this letting go element. I was praying that things would get better. I was reconnecting with God. This is the cry for help element. I started to look for help, professional help, because something needed to shift. I couldn't stand the way I felt anymore. And so from this point, I really I just had to like watch everything fall apart around me. And that was so incredibly painful. I have a very vivid memory of this one evening when I was in my house. I had just purchased a new home and I hadn't fully furnished it. It was thunderstorming. At this point, I had so much strain in my family relationships, I had strain in my friendship relationships, and I felt so alone. I was single. I felt like, who am I gonna talk to? And I just dropped to my knees and I was just crying and begging God to help me. I was like, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I thought I was following everything that you asked me to do, God. I felt like I'm being the perfect person. I I've showed up in all of the ways. I'm being as selfless as I possibly can. I give as much as I possibly can. I don't know what more I need to do to make my life finally feel good to live. I was tired of it just looking good on paper, and I wanted to actually show up and feel something more. I felt so, so empty, alone, and scared. That was my biggest moment of surrender. I finally then said, I obviously do not have this figured out. I need help. Please guide me. Please show me the way I surrender to you. And this is an important step. Reconnecting to your purpose for existing, reconnecting to others, reconnecting to your relationship with God. This is the pivotal turning point. I'm not saying it gets easier from here. I'm actually saying it's probably about to get a little bit harder because the next stage, the third stage of this experience is grief. You have this huge emotional upheaval. And it's not just like one moment. This was my rock bottom moment when I was begging and praying for help and giving up and surrendering and saying, I'm not gonna try to keep forcing this with my will. I want to allow God to take control of my life and show me the path. And I had to accept that it was only gonna appear one step at a time, that I wasn't able to fully see what was coming next, but I had to trust. I had to have the deepest level of faith and commitment to my spirituality, to my higher purpose, to my higher self. That is much easier said than done. What that actually looks like in a day-to-day process, the actual act of surrendering, was just having lots of emotional upheaval, to start realizing that my ego is tied to so many external things. It was tied to my body, my business, my relationships, my public image, my social media. I had to start untangling that. To do that, I had to step away from a lot of things. I knew at that point that I was so enmeshed with my business. It was like the only thing at that point that was giving me some type of joy. But even then, it it eventually stopped. Even though I knew I was doing things to help people, my cup fet felt empty. And so I had to take that step back because you know, I I couldn't tell if that was the work that I really needed to be doing in that time. And I had convinced myself that this was not my path anymore. And so because of that, for me, an important step was to really let go. And that was hard. I stopped making as much money. I mean, I shut down my business. I went through a difficult financial time because of that. And I had to again start to recognize and see like without the money, I'm still me. Without the body, you know, we'll say, I mean, of course I need a body to exist. But, you know, like without the appealing body or whatever you want to call it, you know what I mean? Without all of these things, I had to see who I was underneath it all. I had to let go all of the emotions that I was suppressing because for so long I tried to ignore it. I tried to work through it. I thought having more Doing more, being more liked was going to help me get away from these difficult feelings, but it never did. So I had to actually let them all come up. I cried day after day after day after day. And I was not someone that expressed emotion like that at all. I was always very overly optimistic, some would say. Although I would say my optimism is what helped me. Some of that like delusional belief in myself helped me. At this point, I had to just be in those feelings. I had to process them. And it was a lot of pain, a lot of grief. So much came up time and time again. And it felt like when is this going to end? But I had to tell myself and recognize that I had been suppressing these feelings for years. That's why I was starting to feel inflamed in my body. That's why I had these lingering pains and strains in my body. I had trouble sleeping because I was uncomfortable with all of the tension that was stored in there. And that was from all of this suppressed emotion. Coincidentally, this is when I was really deep in my Bhuti Yoga practice. The act, or I should say, the practice of Bhuti is really about releasing stored trauma and tension that's stuck in the body and cellular reorganization, which is why I really loved it. I feel like that medicine found me when I needed it. When I teach yoga, I always tell people it is normal to start feeling like you need to cry or laugh and it almost feels uncontrollable. That's because as you are doing these movements, shaking and releasing, that is what's happening. These emotions are coming up that have been stuck. And the only way for them to be released is to move through them the way that they are meant to be moved through. If you're feeling sadness, you have to cry. If you're feeling rage, you have to scream and punch a pillow. If you're feeling sadness, oh, I think I already said that one, but you know what I mean? Like what you can't remedy an emotion through intellectualizing it. You can't do it through treating it the wrong way. If I was sad and all I did was process anger and punched things, that is never going to get rid of my sadness. I have to actually address that emotion uniquely. The fourth stage is entering the void. Once you release a lot of these really big emotions and all of the crying, and you finally come to this place where you almost feel numb. You're almost like, okay, I'm not feeling anything now. This part is really hard to be in for a lot of people because we are so used to doing, doing, doing. Being in this space where you have shed the old identity but not yet stepped into the new identity feels uncomfortable. This stage can last for as long as you allow it to. Most people resist being in this stage. That's why we have trouble moving through it. And this stage, the void, if you're not familiar with it, you can get like weeble wobbly and falter in this, which is stage five, the faltering. If you don't let yourself just be almost like allowing yourself to be a vacuum, having that will allow space to be held for the new that's coming in. If we try to fill the void with, you know, distractions or, you know, like eating, numbing out, drinking, having sex, like in the not good ways, we'll say, like in the filling a void type of way, um, which is a phrase many people have heard. If we're numbing ourselves intentionally, we are not going to be able to hold any new that even tries to come into our reality. We won't even recognize it when it's knocking on our door. Being okay, being in the space where you finally process the emotions, but you're not yet into the next stage. Let yourself be there. Make peace, meditate, do things to regulate your nervous system, do things that allow you to just make peace with the mundane experience of life, things that you have to do. Be very, very hyper-present, so present in the very moment of everything that you are doing, that time collapses around you. That you're no longer worrying about the past. You're no longer trying to predict the future. You're being very alive in that very moment. That is the key of being in the void presence, absolute presence. Stage five is the falter. And this happens when you're in the void because you start questioning your decision. Because of that numbness, because of this almost neutral feeling of existing, you start to wonder if you really did the right thing. Because the new thing's not there yet. You've just really worked through the process of letting go of the old. And then you start to romanticize the past. That's what I did. I was like, oh my gosh, why did I do this? Like, my business was so amazing. I was making so much money. I got to travel to places with the stuff that I made. I got to buy myself really fancy, expensive new things. And now here I am. Did I really make the right choice? And I faltered so hard, so hard that I had to go through this second layer of grieving because I felt like I messed up. I felt like I ruined my life. It felt like I was never going to see the other side of it. It felt like I was just going to be in this void forever. I dipped my toes back into things. I really tried hard to, you know, like revive a weight loss program and make it virtual. And thinking, like, okay, people will just like sign up for this program. I'm really good at this. You know, I shouldn't have let go of it. But guess what? Like, no one freaking bought it. Maybe like three people bought this program. And I had to realize that this was God saying, you can't go back. You don't need to go back. It didn't even feel good when I sold those programs. It it felt sad because I knew that it was no longer my path. And I wished and I wondered, like, why can't I just be happy with that? Why can't I just go back to it and keep doing what I was doing? Because it was working. I was happy. I wasn't 0% happy. You know, like maybe now that I've processed all of these emotions, I can go back and be okay again. But it doesn't work. And that's where the final screams of the old you come up. The old version of you is going to scream the loudest right before it dies. That is when I realized I officially had to let go, make peace with the void, and be okay with being in this space that felt so vast and empty and full, and everything was true and nothing was true all at once. Once I accepted that, I officially allowed myself to enter stage six, which is when the new comes in. It feels exciting. It feels good. It's a time to celebrate when you start to notice things coming in that you have been praying for. I had to have such a deep trust and surrender that those new things were going to come in in God's timing and it was out of my hands. As long as I was upholding my end and making peace and acting in alignment with my truth, the universe, God, would serve me what it is that I am meant to be doing, what I am allowed to be feeling, what I deserve to be feeling in this lifetime. What that started to look like was new opportunities, job offers, people connecting, people wanting to create things with me, other people saying they were inspired by my journey. These things made me feel good. And even my body was shifting. Again, I do believe that our body is a direct mirror to what we're experiencing in our internal world. The inflammation I had been experiencing was just gone. I lost like five or not quite 10, but I'd say like I lost like five pounds of inflammation and I didn't change much. I wasn't working out through this phase. All I did was walk and do yoga. I was really mindful about my consumption. And when I say that, I don't think I changed what I ate so much. I did let go, like I had some binge eating patterns that came up in that resistance, that faltering phase. But then I just like no longer had the urge. It was just completely gone. Right. I didn't restrict myself. I have candy everywhere in my house. I allowed myself to buy whatever I desired, whatever I craved. I went out to eat when I wanted to. I cooked when I desired. All I really shifted in my nutrition experience was I was going to sit down. And I, at this time, I had just got certified in Reiki. I was a Lake of I am a level one Reiki practitioner. I would Reiki my food before I ate it. And that really connected me to the experience of eating. And again, I was in that hyper presence mode. That's when it finally allowed things to enter in, and these opportunities were finally showing up. Opportunities I had prayed so hard for. And I was just in the phase where I was trusting, right? I prayed and I said, yes, God has got it. I can stop worrying. I'm in the surrender. So this was a time I was celebrating. Finally, things were coming in, things were picking up. But then, of course, you go down the path. You start to have the things that you've been praying for. And guess what? Stage seven, you re-falter. This is part of the process. Your body has not calibrated to holding the new energy of this new identity that you're stepping into. Small behaviors start to pop up that take you back down the old path, that bring you back to that. Okay. And the refaltering, you know, these are scattered moments. You have moments of refaltering. And part of what's going on here, especially if you are building relationships and you have good relationships around you, always give yourself and your friends permission to check you, right? Like this was really helpful because when I would start to go down these old paths, I gave people permission to call me out because I didn't want to fall back down that old path. Sometimes it is very unconscious. For example, relationship patterns. Things will be good, you know, like talking to someone, being with someone, and they're really supporting you. And you're like, hmm, this is actually a healthy relationship. And then suddenly, you know, you have something that disrupts you and you start projecting onto them. That's an old relationship pattern that you no longer want to continue. And then you start pushing away someone that's actually good. You start questioning, like, should I even be with this person? And you think of a million reasons why you shouldn't. And you have to remind yourself that is just the old version of you trying to pull you back into your comfort zone. But that's normal. And I'm not saying you should keep doing it right, but noticing when that refalter comes up. A lot of people think you have to do something really dramatic and crazy to prevent the re-faltering, but most of the time it's just noticing it. It is that simple. It can be that simple. Noticing that you are faltering, calling it out, and just feeling like, hmm, you know, going into your scientific observational mode of thinking, yeah, I'm not gonna keep running that play. You know, if you were like a football coach and every time you run this certain play, the quarterback gets sacked, you're not gonna keep running the same play. You're gonna be like, oh, okay, that didn't work. I'm not gonna get emotional about it. I have three more chances to make it the next 10 yards. Okay, so I'm gonna change the play. You don't have to be emotional. You get multiple chances, you get so many chances, right? You have a lifetime of chances. Don't stress it. Even if you mess up and you accidentally keep replaying it, that's okay. The more you get angry and feel mad at yourself for making those mistakes, the more you make them. Forgive yourself and move on. Be neutral about it. Stop connecting so much emotion to it in the refaltering process. Notice it, repattern, move on. And stage eight, this is the recalibration stage. This is the stage where you learn to hold the energy of your new identity. You develop new habits, you work through resistance that comes up, and you make peace with the voices when they resurface. To say that I never have moments of thinking about that time in my life right now would be a lie. I don't think we heal and suddenly forget what happened or what we experienced. You just are at peace with the voices as they reappear. You notice, yes, this is no longer serving me. I hear it and I release it. And that's all. From here, you just have to get consistent with the practices that keep you grounded in the present moment. Learn how to make space to hold these new things. Doing things like routinely tapping into experiences of joy, doing things like yoga, meditation, laughing, being joyful, making sure that you're actively enjoying the present moment and not being too attached to the external things that you used to cling to, releasing that emotional attachment and the judgment that we held ourselves to previously. Being able to pivot and knowing I made it through this once. If things have to change, I can do it again. Because the truth is, although you are making space for this new version of yourself, it may not be the last time you recreate a new version of yourself. We have multiple cycles in our lifetime where we have the opportunity to evolve and grow. Not everyone takes those opportunities, but again, if you're someone that listens to the podcast, especially this deep into the podcast, you are that person. And so accepting that there could be another stage, loving what is present right here, right now, learning to hold it, appreciate, gratitude. And that degree of detachment is something that Buddhist monks practice all the time. I've read books about this. You can love things and have this degree of detachment that just means that you allow it space and freedom to change. You don't love something and try to keep it exactly as it is and hold on so tightly and create this tension, this fear of it being possibly released. You let it sit, you let it naturally attract to you. You become the person, you do the things to be able to hold that energy, and it will stay as long as you are an energetic match to it. So in this new version of me with my business, I make space for it to evolve into whatever it's going to be. I have visions, and I still allow myself to think about what the future could look like. Of course, you can still have hopes and dreams and desires of what it can grow into, but I give it permission to match me. I give myself permission to step to whichever version of myself that I want to be. And in moments, sure, that can shift. You can put on different hats and be different versions of yourself. And also knowing that they're still all you. Hold space and love that past version of yourself and remember that she did what she did. Or if you're a man, you did what you did because in the time it was what was best for you. And now again, you are choosing what is best for you. When we don't have as much consciousness about certain things, we can only choose what we know. And now in this new iteration, you have so much more consciousness, so much more awareness of how things feel and land in your body. You have to do these practices to hold yourself in this new version and have them become part of your identity in a way. Again, not holding so tightly and making external things mean something about you, but being in the energy. So it's the difference of being someone that goes to the gym just to move their body versus going to the gym because you are devoted to your health. You know, going to the gym because you want to look strong and flex and get attention versus someone that goes because you want to take care of yourself, because you recognize this is your vessel that God gave you for this lifetime, and it deserves time and attention and release. You don't necessarily change all the things you're doing, but you're energetically different behind the way you move. And that's the subtlety of it. A lot of things that we do in this lifetime, we will continue to do for the rest of our lives. It's all about how we perceive that. And that's where your new identity comes in. You start to reintegrate some of the things that you used to do, that maybe at one point you were doing from an unhealthy place or from a different level of consciousness. And now you do them really from a completely different energy. And so remembering that as you reintegrate some things, there's gonna be some old emotion that comes up along with it, and that is normal. When I started going to the gym again, I had a lot of resistance towards it. I was like, ugh, ick, this is so egoic. I can't do this. I feel so gross being here. I'm not excited to move in this way. I don't want to do it. And there was a part of me that did, that still does desire to move my body. I just had to find a new way of doing it. So I experimented with different ways of going to the gym, different types of workouts. What was actually important to me about the experience of moving my body? So I started to realize I don't want to completely let go of lifting weights. That actually does feel really good and I appreciate it. I needed to change the frequency, right? I had to integrate other types of movement. I had to shift my routine. I had to start coming at coming at it from like a playful experience, right? And now I'm back in my business. While, again, like weight loss is a byproduct of what I teach sometimes, it's not doing it at all costs. It's loving yourself so deeply, giving yourself what you need, recognizing how to hold your boundaries for your health, for your wellness, for your vitality, tapping into the power of the body on a deeper level and untangling the unconscious things that are holding us back. This is how I approach my business now. While it's like from the outside, maybe my business seems the same, but from my lived experience in it, it is completely new. It is mine, it is loving, it is aware, it is no longer my identity, but it is a deep sense of fulfillment for me because I get to show up exactly as myself in my business in a brand new way. And I get to work with new types of clients. And the people that match and have evolved with me are along for the journey, which I freaking love. I love to see that. And I just had to trust that that was going to happen. Are there people that do not talk to me and probably will never speak to me again? Yes, unfortunately. I had to learn to accept that. And it did hurt at times when I reached out to people that were a part of an older part of my journey or, you know, me six years ago that ignored my messages. And I had to regrieve some of that and say, okay, you know, those dynamics, those relationships were not meant for me. If they're not giving me the space to be this version of myself, then they are in that chapter that I've closed now, which is definitely one of the hardest parts of all of this. You don't get to keep all of the relationships, but at the same time, you recognize that some relationships serve a purpose. And I'm not talking just romantic. Yes, they can be romantic, but in general, you know, my business dynamics, um, people that I've worked with, um, business partners, I should say, like other businesses that we partnered with, because I was the sole owner. But these are things that sometimes you just have to realize like there's a season for. And in this new stage, making peace with the fact that there are elements of you that you've let go of, there are relationships that you let go of, and you get to move into this new space. It gets to be something totally different, and you open up the door for something that's a better energetic match for this period of time in your life. And again, you hold on to it, you cherish it. And sometimes when that now new time comes where there's another evolution, things shift. And that's okay because now you have all the stages, you know what it looks like, and you can move through it more easily. You can go again through these stages multiple times in your life, but it gets easier in the sense that you know what to anticipate. So come back to this. Right? If you are in this right now, if you are in the thick of it, I really encourage you to set up a consultation with me, a free consultation for the month of June, because body and soul freedom could be a really good fit for you. I really support you through this process. I create the space for you to move through these emotions, for you to find that new space of devotion towards your health, towards your wellness, towards your purpose, what's fulfilling your soul, right? It's a combination because your body and your soul are what need this liberation. Your body and your soul need to be on the same page. Your soul is constantly communicating to your body, and your body and your mind now need to create a pathway to understand each other. And that's what we teach in Body and Soul Freedom. So if you're interested, if you're curious, if this episode resonated, I highly encourage you to check it out. Well, I love you guys, and I'll talk to you again next week.