How to Ditch the Chatter and Find Your True Voice

Are you ready to stop second-guessing yourself and start speaking with bold, authentic confidence? 

In this episode of The Aspirant Podcast, we’re joined by the amazing Jen Oliver, a TEDx speaker coach and champion of real, heartfelt expression and connection. She’s here to share how to uncover your true voice—whether you’re pitching a client, sharing your story on stage, or communicating something important in your personal or romantic life. Jen’s dropping truth bombs on how to quiet the mental noise, connect with your body, and show up as the truest version of YOU. 

We talk about:

• Why "finding your voice" is actually an inside job
• How to work with performance anxiety (instead of letting it silence you)
• The daily practices that help you speak from your body—not your inner critic

No matter where you’re starting from, this convo will help you show up more powerfully and authentically in every area of your life.

Makes sure to listen to the whole episode, some of the juiciest bits are at the end of this one! ❤️

About Jen Oliver:

Jen Oliver coaches women to speak with impact and is highly effective at helping her clients show up REAL while leveraging their story and mission to exert powerful influence. 

Jen enters her 4th season as an Executive Producer, Director of Curation and Speaker Coach for TEDxFolsom and contributes to other U.S. based speaking events. She is also a force behind WomanSpeak™ - an internationally recognized body of work teaching the art and soul of public speaking. 

Jen hosts the Listen for REAL podcast and is currently co-founding a platform that equips and supports women as they explore their inner world, unearth their truest voice, and speak with a new level of confidence - personally and professionally.

Jen is available for private coaching in addition to custom group workshops.

🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES

• Learn more about what Jen here
• Connect with Jen on LinkedIn
• Transform your idea into a Signature Talk by joining Jen’s 90-day TEDx Talk Accelerator Program

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Transcript

Natasha (00:01)

Hey friends, if you're looking to improve your speaking skills, whether it's how you show up online or speaking on a stage or even just speaking up for the things that are important to you in your life, whether it's advocating for yourself and discussions with your partner or even advocating for bigger issues in our world, whether it's environmental causes or other things that are important to you, this episode is for you today. And I want you to do me a favor and listen all the way to the end because it's full of great things and some of the juiciest content is at the end of this one.

I am joined by my friend, Jen Oliver, who coaches women to speak with impact and is highly effective at helping her clients show up real while leveraging their story and mission. She is in her fourth season as an executive producer and director of curation and speaker coach for TEDxFolSum. And she is also a force behind Women Speak, which is an internationally recognized body of work teaching the art and soul of public speaking. So.

She does just amazing coaching. have coached with Jen before and this is all free advice today. So you get to have some time with a really wonderful coach and definitely put this one on and listen all the way through. So without further ado, we're going to jump in and chat with Jen.

Natasha (01:14)

Hello Jen, welcome to the show.

Jen Oliver (01:17)

Natasha, I am so happy we're together. This makes my day.

Natasha (01:22)

Me too, and I know you have so much to share with everyone, in part because I've been learning from you for a long time about speaking, which is why I'm so excited to bring you on. So let's just jump into it. I know that you talk about the power of finding and using your real voice. What do you think holds most entrepreneurs back from showing up as their full authentic selves when they speak, whether it's on a stage, their personal lives, or in a sales conversation?

Jen Oliver (01:49)

Okay, most entrepreneurs and most people, I am convinced actually that what holds people back is the chatter in their head. So, I mean, I know you know what I'm talking about, but everybody has this chatter that is the constant noise. And I am convinced that the chatter in our head is the voice of ego, which is a protection mechanism. ⁓ It's social media, it's our mother, it's some teacher or coach, ⁓ it's...

all kinds of voices that we suddenly have adopted as our own and we actually think they're real and we believe them. And instead, I propose that when people can drop kind of into their body, so I'm gonna get like semi-woo for a second, but when you can get out of the chatter in your head, which for me just means kind of dropping lower, that your soul, your truest voice,

is a little more embodied. And so what I see is the chatter in the head, either the voices that they think are them or the voices that they think other people want to hear because we know how to be performative, how to say the palatable right thing. We know how to be people pleasers. We all have those voices. They're honed and they are familiar to us, but they're not necessarily our true and real voice.

So that is what I think comes into play when it's holding us back. Because it's it's noise, it's a hindrance. Sometimes we don't even realize it. We don't even realize there is a truer voice. We think those are our actual voices, when in fact they probably aren't. Or they've been handed to us, or we think they are.

Natasha (03:35)

Yeah, that's so good. And I was actually just having a coffee conversation the other day. And this person was totally confident speaking on a stage, but was petrified to put things out like in an article on a national stage. And for me, it would be the complete opposite. But I think everyone is struggling with some kind of visibility challenge. And like you said, these voices, and we don't even realize they're not necessarily even our own. They're society. They're a sister. They're a mother. I love that you brought that up.

So for someone who wants to become a better speaker and not just on a TEDx stage or anything like that, but for everyday business growth or personal life, where are a few practical places they can start and what makes the biggest difference quickly?

Jen Oliver (04:20)

Yeah, it is. So let's take that choir of voices. And I honestly believe it's the precursor work. Before you even step into an environment where you're thinking about, I've got to speak, I've got to show up this way, I've got to move, talk, not say the word ⁓ whatever it is, right? I've got to do all this. Before you ever do that, I realized as a speaker coach here, I'm prepping people for TEDx stages.

I'm working with ⁓ women in smaller environments and I realized, my gosh, it's this precursor work. So the faster way is to actually go back to basics and go to this precursor work, which is, wait a minute, who am I? How can I be more connected to myself to even know who this person is and then access her voice?

And so it's a little bit like it's this inside job. People think speaking, oh, it's so external, when in fact, actually, I think it's very much an internal job. And so everything goes back to connection. Whether you're connected to yourself first, then you have this ability to bring a more whole person to whatever the exchange is, be it business, be it speaking, be it telling your story, your product or your business plan.

⁓ it's like, ⁓ okay. Let's get back to that. Start to identify what are those voices that are starting to chime in. Identifying who they are and then suddenly they lose their power because you're going, that's not even me. ⁓ I can have a spirit of inquiry and ask questions of that voice and not necessarily buy into it and believe it. That's actually a fiction. I feel like there's this cool liberation that happens.

where when you're not encumbered by that, there's this great freedom to then express yourself more authentically. And what we know now, I don't care if you're in marketing or you're writing a story or you're pitching a product, these generations now, if you're marketing to them, their BS meter is totally up there and they crave authenticity.

And so rather than polished perfection, they want to actually relate to something and connect to something that feels real to them. And so I think it always serves whoever is listening, it serves you to dismantle the stuff that's going to get in the way and hinder that true authentic expression.

Natasha (07:01)

Yeah, and I love this piece about connection. And I think sometimes connection can almost feel like magic, like, because you can feel it. It's an energy in a room. You can hear and feel a connected crowd, but we can't always break down, you know, why we aren't connecting or where we are. So I love that you can help people really identify that because sometimes it really does. It feels like magic almost.

Jen Oliver (07:09)

⁓ yep.

Yeah, well it is. mean, connection, it's energy. mean, speaking, when we speak, it's a very energetic exchange. So we don't want anything to get in the way of that connection happening because it's the connection that builds trust. It builds believability. It believes, it's a, you're a brand I suddenly want to trust or you're a story I believe. And that is what causes people to buy with us.

That's what causes people to coach with us. It's what causes people to follow us on socials. A lot of time it's because they find us believable, because they've connected to us enough that they trust us. And so that's the quickest way to that is creating connection through how you express yourself and how you show up to things too.

Natasha (08:13)

Yeah, those relationships are so important in building that connection. So a lot of my listeners are authors and coaches, and they might feel really confident writing on a page, but when it comes to speaking or showing up live or on a video, how do you help them bridge that gap between the message that they write and then the message that they actually speak?

Jen Oliver (08:17)

Yeah, totally.

Okay, this is so, so big. Cause a lot of people I work with, same demographic, Especially authors and coaches. So what I always say is, bringing you and removing any barriers to people getting a sense of you is huge. Because you being human animates those words. It brings them to life.

So you may be writing something, let's say, and creating content or writing a book. And then suddenly when it's time to come speak to promote the book or whatever it is, it's like you want that person to show up who animates those words. And I want to acknowledge something like that's a tall order. Think about it, especially let's use writers. This is a perfect example. They're writing for a reason. A, they have a gift.

be they have a message, but there is also a part of them that goes, I love that I can quietly go into my space and I don't have to be seen and I don't have to be out there and heard. And so suddenly when you say, ⁓ now we want you out there, that's so high stakes. And there is a lot of energy around that. You, I know you're familiar with this because this is something Casey Baker developed that I constantly use in coaching people. And it's like,

understand that when you feel, so I just want to say to the person who I know is listening is going, yeah, I can write all day long, but I will vomit to even think about having to stand on a stage or get on a podcast and actually go speak. And I just want to acknowledge like that is so painful and I get it. And that energy that you're feeling in your body may actually be there in service to you.

So you are suddenly in a higher stakes environment. You have a lot more energy coming at you, a lot more eyeballs perhaps looking your way. that takes, that ups the ante, right? So you need the right energy to meet that. And that energy is there in service to you so you won't just show up as some automaton, but as a human who has real human emotions and...

Again, like I used that word ⁓ earlier, it's it's animating, it's putting the impact behind the words and putting the words out there. And so when you're feeling that in your body, it's actually really important. But I would invite you to reframe it to look at that energy as like, this is in service to me. I actually need this to meet this moment as opposed to being bowled over by all of this energy coming at me, all of the expectations, the eyeballs, the higher stakes.

and that's normal. So I just feel like it's really important to presence that because that is one of the first things that gets in the way in people feeling stuck because they feel this energy in their body and they take it to mean that this means, ⁓ I'm only meant to write, but I don't have this other skill set. There's something ⁓ insufficient in me. There's something wrong with me. I'm lesser there. I'm not qualified to be here.

And I would say don't take that to mean that. That it suddenly means you're ineffective or that you don't have what it takes to be out there in front of people. That you need to just stay low and stay unseen. That's not the case. So just because you're feeling that energy in your body, don't let that story in your head or that voice in your head say, see what I told you? You're not up for this. You're not ready for this. It's actually there in service to you. So you can partner with it.

and suddenly go, okay, the feelings are still there, but I now know what these are. I can reframe this and now I can really lean into my message and how I wanna show up and who I am because you already wrote the book, you already wrote the message, you already have a body of work or thought leadership as a coach, let's say, and it's like, how can I now lean into it instead of letting that stuff, that feeling stuck, that feeling like.

I can't get out there and speak. can only write. It's like, let's take that down a bit. That was a long ass answer. my gosh, I'm allowed to talk so, so late. You know me, okay. I talked earlier. Yeah.

Natasha (12:48)

think it's such a power.

It's all no, it's all good. It was

a good answer. I think that, you know, especially as someone who would characterize myself as having a lot of anxiety, that reframe was really powerful for me, because I can feel very wrong and it can be very fearful, right? You can get into a fear state. But when you can look at your anxiety as energy helping you show up, because if you went on to that stage without energy, you would fall flat, you wouldn't be able to connect, you wouldn't be able to meet the energy that's coming at you. And it's so helpful.

Jen Oliver (13:20)

That's right.

Natasha (13:24)

I think just the other thing too is we make these assumptions that other people who get on a stage or who are putting out their work online, that they don't deal with the same things we feel because, you know, we don't see it, but every person I have talked to who I thought is like, cool as a cucumber, never gets anxious. They do. And maybe not as much as you do because they've been doing like, you can definitely build your resilience and, know, not have as much anxiety, but it doesn't. don't feel like unless you have, you know, ⁓

like something's turned off in you, like you are always gonna feel some level of, you know, anxiety and that's the human part.

Jen Oliver (14:01)

It's totally the human part. mean, think about it. And the way to know it is like, if you're just heading to the grocery store, and you're not gonna feel those feelings in your body. There's not as much at stake. There's not a whole lot of energy attached to it. So of course, like your body is going, whoa, need, whoa, this feels like fight or flight. I feel like my voice is constricting, my heart's pounding, my stomach is butterflies. And it's okay if you can't get all that like,

perfectly subdued, I think that takes a lot of energy to muscle all of that into submission. So instead going, ⁓ okay, you're here because this actually matters to you. It actually, you care about how it's going to be received. Okay, that's beautiful. And then there's also great tools. Okay, I do want to calm my breath or I do want to do different things. So it's not that there aren't tools to go ahead and ⁓ to bring in that are supportive.

but it's also just not making yourself or thinking you're less than or that your message is somehow not worthy of being shared just because you're feeling those things in your body. That's a lie. That's not true at all.

Natasha (15:11)

Yeah, so speaking of that, if someone's trying to kind of work through some of that anxiety and maybe drop the performative and really show up as themselves, not who they think they need to be, what does that look like in practice? Are there like a technique that you could share?

Jen Oliver (15:27)

Totally,

totally. So this is one of my favorites is again, it's about getting out of your head and that chatter and getting into your body. So, so often there is this...

There's this need to like muscle through and think it through, logic it out, right? But invariably, you can step into connecting to your breath, your body, maybe even moving your body, we do this a lot in my groups, as you know. Moving your body and going, what does my body wanna do? How do I wanna feel? It's like, you ever noticed when...

you are trying to create content, let's say, and you're like at your lab talk and you're you're searching your brain and you're really trying to make something happen or trying to get something written. But then if you're in the shower, the ideas come. Or if you're out on a walk, suddenly epiphanies happen. I honestly believe it's because we're not trying to work so hard up here in our head and get work from this logic place.

But our bodies are like these storehouses of ideas and emotions and instinct and intuition and beautiful wisdom and memories. Like our bodies, it's not all held in your gray matter. It's in your body. So I think the first thing I would say is how can you, in a way that feels right and good to you, connect back to your body? How can you do things in a way that...

aren't so much relying on your brain. Our minds are amazing and yes, it'll put things into action, but how can we connect to our body first and access that voice and listen a little more deeply to yourself? Listen with curiosity instead of condemnation. I think that's like the first step is doing that. And some of that might be just scanning your body and going, what does it need right now? Where am I feeling some energy?

Okay, that's interesting. Okay, feeling that. Okay, I'm gonna just sit with that for a minute and just be open to what that energy is, what that feeling in my chest is, what that, and just getting curious. And I honestly believe by getting curious or sending breath there, we learn that caress of the breath practice in the woman speak method, right? I mean, Casey Baker came up with this amazing.

method called the caress of the where you literally scan your body, you look for an area of energy or tension and it's as though tension is this ball of something that wants to be expressed and when you send a breath there and just get mindful and ⁓ notice it and send the breath like a caress to that area of tension, it's as though it ⁓ validates it and allows it to speak and suddenly the words come or suddenly the idea starts to bubble to the surface.

It's really an amazing practice. that's what I would recommend is you can always start by going back to your body and not staying so entrenched in your head.

Natasha (18:43)

Yeah, it's funny when I think about speaking to, I kind of use this line that what we're doing is really peeling back all these layers so we can just show up as ourselves, like how you would with your best friend on the couch. And it's so funny because you do that naturally and somehow you get a spotlight on you and you become, you know, paralyzed and different than you usually are. And so it's just peeling back all these layers to just be yourself again.

Jen Oliver (19:10)

Yeah, and feel good in your skin, like right? Because I think we put on the layers and we show up in the different ways and it's like, who's that? Like that's not the person who'd be sitting on the couch having a glass of wine with her friend having a real conversation. And I think that's part of it is just going, okay, these are just, I'm feeling like I should show up this way. And that's not necessarily true.

Natasha (19:35)

Yeah, and I think sometimes those unique, weird, odd things about us, those are the things that make us relatable and that's where a lot of people, feels maybe too vulnerable, but those are the things that are actually gonna connect.

Jen Oliver (19:48)

Yep, yep. Yeah, and that's the stuff we always wanna cover up. Like everything I've ever done, like you know me, Natasha, because you've known me a while, but it's like I open the kimono and say some of the most weird, salacious, unsavory, bizarre things about me and my own life. And then I think, why did I do that? Like, seriously, you're gonna crash your career or you're gonna, no, every time it's what extends my reach.

Natasha (19:50)

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Jen Oliver (20:17)

Or more people go, my gosh, I need more of you. more, it gets more following, you know? And again, don't do it in a disingenuous way, because I've done that too. Totally done that to kind of like force intimacy, force connection. So I'll bring forth something that has no business being there in the conversation with this group of complete strangers. And I'm like telling them about my sex life or something, and they're like, wow.

Wow, like we just rushed right in. I mean, you know me. It's like I do that to force intimacy and connection because I want it so much. No, do it in a genuine way too. Like you, we can also go a little overboard. That's not what we want.

Natasha (20:42)

That's it.

Yeah, and I mean

sometimes you have to play with it though to figure out where that sweet spot is. Again, like we're not perfect and I find, you know, especially if you're trying something new, like being vulnerable, you have to play with it. And sometimes you might not take it far enough. Sometimes you might take it a little bit too far and that's just the barometer to help you get back to that equilibrium.

Jen Oliver (21:15)

And the only way, and to your point, exactly, the only way you know is sometimes we just do it and we mess up. And sometimes it goes too far, and sometimes it's, or it didn't feel real, whatever it is, we've just, it's putting ourselves out there and trying and experimenting, looking at it as like a great experiment. That's how I've learned to tackle it, is like, how can I just be an explorer who's curious?

and make this kind of a big experiment and see what comes of it.

Natasha (21:46)

Yeah, and when people talk about regret in life, it's usually the things that they didn't do, that they didn't express. It's not the thing, oh, I wish I wouldn't have tried that and failed. It's just never that. It's the things that they wish that they had tried and didn't. Yeah. So my next question is that we've talked about expression and communication not only as tools for your business, but really tools for your life. So.

Jen Oliver (21:59)

Totally. Yep.

Natasha (22:12)

Can you share an example of how reclaiming or claiming that authentic voice and shifting how you communicate has transformed a relationship or area of life outside of work for you or one of your clients?

Jen Oliver (22:25)

my gosh, yeah. This is like, okay, Natasha, this is like my favorite thing to speak on because it really does transform how life feels, how we operate, our level of happiness. It's not just about the success, it's like how we feel in our life. So I'll use a personal one first. That's easy. I remember as someone who has been historically the people pleaser,

who has never had a problem as an extrovert with being on the stage, taking a microphone, speaking. That's never been an issue for me personally. However, if you ask me, and my family would have told you this, to show up and communicate authentically, like interpersonally, I was so about the people pleasing or seeking the validation or being this fixer. There was just so many aspects there and I had this hyper sense of responsibility.

that that's where I wasn't really showing up authentically. And I will never forget when it was actually when I told my husband our marriage needed to end. ⁓ And it was because we were having a conversation and he knew I was unhappy and we, and I had just kept, he'd help me understand like how could this be better? What do we need to do? And I'd always be like, well, I just want deeper conversations.

I don't know, I just want more. I want more depth of connection and blah, And he'd be like, okay. And he's like, so tell me how, like what do you mean? And I remember thinking, this is so profoundly unkind that I am dancing around this subject. I'm kind of sugarcoating. I'm saying, well, it's not you, it's me. I just want more deep conversations and connections. And he's trying, and I just saw the pain in his face, like of a person trying. And then I realized, oh my God.

I don't even belong in this marriage. I rushed into this marriage. I don't belong here. I got married for the wrong reasons. This is a good human. And I just got like still and quiet for a minute and then I said what was true instead of what I thought was gonna save him pain, was gonna spare his feelings. And so that's not coming from my truest voice, right? The chatter in my head made me all important. Like you can't hurt their feelings. You can't do this, that, so.

I was never really saying what was true. I'd dance around the subject or I'd sugarcoat it. And so it was like all of a sudden I realized, ⁓ just say what's true. And I owned it and I said it. And that led to a very, very real sets of conversations where we realized, okay, it was such a gift. I mean, he and I are now best friends. We are no longer married. My relationships, not just with him, but with other people are better because

I started just showing up more authentically. I was listening to my internal voice. Okay, so that's the one we override and we veto, which I had overridden so many times and just went, nope, override, not listening to her. My voice, my body tried to tell me, I remember on the first date with that man, like I knew and I just was override, override, override. And it's like, if you stop and listen to that internal voice, you can suddenly, and then trust yourself to use it.

It makes every relationship better. And I'm using it now in my dating relationships. oh, okay, I can say what is true for me and give them the dignity of their response. And that has changed everything in my business relationships, in my personal life, with my kids, you name it. Because, oh, all of a sudden, they're not dealing with the fiction anymore. They're dealing with the reality of who you are.

and what's true or what you're wanting or needing. And then they can operate not with the fiction but with the true person. And they can maybe show up more real and authentic and not in their fiction, right? And so I'm reminded of that and then I'll tell you about a client. And this one is, she was in a, I'll keep it kind of cryptic for her, but she was in a situation for decades in abusive.

scenarios where her voice was silenced like this woman would show up into a speaking group and Trying to just find her voice and she was so constricted she could barely get words out She would she would almost shudder and cry. It was so difficult. Okay, and Because of her situation she was actually trafficked by her partner for 20 years and and so she

only recently spoke before legislature in California, that same woman speaking to a new bill that protects ⁓ people in trafficking situations. And so she took her voice that was silenced and oppressed and abused for so long, and she is now using it in a way that is not only setting herself free, but is support to other...

people who are being trafficked and setting them free. So like those are two examples beyond business tools where finding our voice is everything and the way she feels about herself has been absolutely transformed. And I love that you use that word Natasha because it has transformed her. Her ability to feel more power again, more agency, more safety in her body. It's a long hard road for her, but she's on it. And she's

proving to herself what she's capable of. So long answers to both, but I really believe in that because it's so beyond stages and speaking and podcasts. It's like, how do we want to feel in our life?

Natasha (28:16)

Yeah, and I think everyone knows what it feels like to not have a voice because having a voice is powerful and in the situations where we felt like we couldn't speak up or we didn't speak up. And sometimes I've actually found, you know, in society, we sometimes have this expectation to take the high road.

And, you know, that's always what I was taught. But then I've seen these situations where because someone took the high road, they didn't call out something and speak the truth because they thought, you know, they would do the right thing and not make a big deal about it. And then someone else was harmed down the road because someone didn't speak up. And so, you know, we actually even have a responsibility in our communities to speak up on those things. And we want to be able to show up for that.

and say the truth. And I think also from your first example, we sometimes in our body rate, we feel something, like you said, you knew something different, but you're expressing something different. People pick up on that.

And so they may not be able to put a finger on what it is, but they can see that disingenuousness and that creates this, know, disalignment that you're dancing around. I mean, I'm probably famous for this in my early life because I had such a hard time communicating. And that goes back to this connection with the body. Like sometimes people are so disconnected from themselves. They don't even realize their own reality versus what they're putting out.

Jen Oliver (29:35)

Oh, completely, completely. I think that gets in a lot of people's way, absolutely. Yeah, if you don't even know it's happening, right? Yeah.

Natasha (29:42)

Yeah, so. ⁓

Yeah, and then we kind of play these games. don't know who said this, but I have this statement. It's to be unclear is to be unkind. And so when we are in touch with our body, our feelings, and we can be clear, then we can communicate those things. And like you said, people can receive and take how they need to.

Jen Oliver (29:54)

Yeah. ⁓

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Natasha (30:10)

So this has been a great conversation. I could talk to you for hours about everything. But I do want to give people an opportunity to learn a little bit. You do a TEDx masterclass. So I'd love to hear a little bit about that, who it's designed for. And I know you also help people just with general speaking. So where can they learn more about you and tell me more about the TEDx masterclass?

Jen Oliver (30:15)

I know.

Yeah, absolutely. So there is a number of things that I do. So you can find out about anything I do at realjenoliver.com. So it's like being real, R-E-A-L, Jenoliver.com. ⁓ I'm realjenoliver on Insta. ⁓ I'm on LinkedIn, all the places. So yeah, you can find me any of those ⁓ arenas. I, the TEDx masterclass is really for anyone who

There's a segment of people who go, no, I really want to be on this stage. And I know the power and the credibility and the authority that comes with TED and a TEDx talk. And because I've had four years as an executive producer and speaker coach with TEDx here in California, TEDx Folsom, that's giving me a lot of behind the scenes understanding.

of kind of how to crack that nut. very competitive. mean, there's thousands of TEDx's, but it's a highly sought after stage, right? So what I was finding, I was getting all these frequently asked questions constantly, or people who want to apply and wanted guidance in how to do so and how to build the talk, because it's a very specific type of talk. So it's not just your standard workshop or keynote. It's short form. So it's very succinct.

people wanted support with that. So I developed my master class. I've developed a 90 day accelerator program where someone can come in and they're very small and high touch and with a couple of coaches. And it's a group setting where somebody actually writes their TEDx talk. They flesh out their idea because maybe they're that person who has so many ideas. It's like, but what's the one that's the idea worth spreading that's appropriate for this type of stage? Cause this is a different kind of stage than the average.

So I really debunk what and demystify what people don't understand about TED and that environment and help them to pursue it. And then what I also do though, and this is the big thing I want to point out, is I help people build their signature talk period because they may have an area of thought leadership or an area in coaching or an arena where their story really does need to be shared or their lived experience or their research or their data or their method to do something.

And maybe it's not TED, but they still need that signature talk and they need that messaging to get out there and express it so that they can gain more exposure so people will know they exist and then and maybe trust them more and get to know them and feel comfortable and go, yeah, I want to know more from this person or I want to work with them. Right. And so that's the other thing aspect of these programs is not just for TEDx because there's a whole lot of platforms out there.

not just that red dot that everybody associates to be the kind of key stage. There are many more. So I'm always focused on that. And then there's plenty of people who don't want to be on a stage, but they know that everything we've been talking about is essential to their success and feeling good and showing up for their business or for their brand, et cetera. And they really want to dial up what that voice is.

And so I have programs where I support people in that too. So there's a number of things that play there and I'm just, gosh, I'm happy to help. Yeah.

Natasha (33:59)

Yeah, no, speaking up, like we said, it's not just about, it's not just about your business. It's about, you know, your entire life. And yeah, those moments where you felt like you didn't have a voice. It's, it's so powerful. And even beyond us, like you said, this woman you're working with is now advocating for other victims of sex trafficking. Like it's so big, it's so powerful. So if you're going to invest in something, this is definitely a good thing for this year.

Jen Oliver (34:22)

Mm-hmm.

Totally, uh,

yeah.

Natasha (34:31)

Jen, it has been so wonderful having you here and I love to end these episodes with one question, which is what advice do you have for your younger self?

Jen Oliver (34:40)

Mmm. my gosh, I love that. We should all be talking to our younger self. ⁓ I would say it is recognizing that there is a direct path between this wise knowing, deeper inner voice and a fully expressed you. So I want to say it's like you can have both. You can be fully expressed in whoever you are, Jen, and whoever...

you know, is taking this on maybe for themselves. You can be that and you can express that wise inner voice and that you don't have to believe everything you've been told in the chatter in your head. I think if I had looked at some of these voices and some of the things I was buying into and in fact doubling down on and then believing and then building a life upon and acting as if.

when it's a voice in my head that was just a limiting belief or some narrative that the culture or I don't know, patriarchy or whatever handed me, how much suffering and ⁓ strife and struggle would I have avoided if I just went, ⁓ okay, that's one of those voices. That's not even me necessarily and I don't have to buy into it. So I think that's what it would be is you don't have to believe every voice that chimes in.

in your head.

Natasha (36:06)

Yeah, I love that. Thank you so much for coming today. I think there's just so much in this conversation and I know you'll be back.

Jen Oliver (36:08)

Yeah.

my gosh, absolutely. I love all the stuff we do together. Every bit of collaboration I can do with you, Natasha, I am all about it. I love it.

Natasha (36:23)

Yeah. All right. Well, we're going to leave that conversation here today and goodbye to everyone listening at home.

Jen Oliver (36:29)

Yeah, bye y'all.