Parenting Teens Untangled - Realistic, science-backed teen & tween parenting advice
I'm Rachel Richards, Teen Parenting Specialist, former BBC Correspondent, CNBC Europe World News Anchor and mum, on a mission to make parenting teens much less stressful, and even enjoyable.
Do you ever feel like you don’t know what you’re doing? I've experienced that too, so have a big hug from me.
Here's the truth. You’re doing better than you think you are. No, really, you are. There’s too much talk about what a parent should be, and how we can optimise and perfect ourselves, and not enough about how well you’re coping in this complicated world as you hold your shizzle together.
I mean it, the most important message is that you CANNOT be perfect. You’re going to lose your rag, you’re going to get upset and say stupid things and make mistakes and hate your kids and your partner and your life from time to time.
Take it from me, if you’re going to worry about anything make it: ‘Am I being curious enough?’
Asking questions will get you everywhere as a parent of teenagers, and the place to do most of your practice is… yourself and your own thoughts and beliefs.
So, welcome, pull up a chair, drop your baggage, and make yourself comfortable. Let’s learn together.
The Podcast:
A fellow mum begged me to start my podcast because she wanted someone she trusted to help her through the teen years, and I’ll be forever grateful to her because the journey has transformed my own parenting and benefited my family beyond imagination.
Here’s the good news, this podcast is free and you can learn everything I learned just by starting at the beginning and going through every episode.
If you want to go a bit faster then scroll through and pick subjects that cover what you need right now. If you can’t find what you want then message me and I’ll tell you which one will help you most. If it’s not something I’ve covered then I’m like a dog chasing a stick, so you’ll soon get your answers.
My main aim is to help you stop trying to be perfect, or comparing yourself and your kids with others. Your only real job is to focus on getting to know the amazing people you have in your life, loving them unconditionally, and showing them you believe they can do hard things.
JOIN ME ON SUBSTACK:
For those of you who want more, or who just want to help me feel like the pebbles I have dropped in the ocean of life are making a difference, why not join my paid community? You’ll get one-to-one support and printable PDF’s that give you the top tips from each podcast episode so you have your own little, bespoke manual.
ASK ME ANYTHING: I’m very busy behind the scenes reading everything so you don’t have to, and when you subscribe you have the chance to ask me anything. If I don’t know the answer I’ll head out like an eager truffle pig, ready to snuffle out the best for you.
COMMUNITY: I’ll be offering regular extras, including tips and thoughts, that help you tune into what matters.
All of the community notes, and tips, will remain available to paid subscribers. I want to make this more about fun and less about fear.
PDF NOTES: So many listeners say they have rewound the episodes to write down notes, well now there’s no need. Paid subscribers will have a weekly, downloadable, summary of the top tips from each episode, so you don’t have to take notes.
Please let me know if there are any old episodes for which you’d like the notes. I’m very happy to supply them.
POINTERS: Ask me if there’s something you’re struggling with, I can tell you which episode is most suitable for you, because there are a lot to trawl through.
Fan Mail
hello, love the podcast. My fifteen year old boy seems to show no curiousity about the world. Does not know countries, capitals, does not read (except when incentived). Today, he didn't recognise the neighbouring village which we drive through many times. He is middling at school but good at some subjects. So, not a dunce! Is it digital distraction? Is it common? I searched your shows and could not find any record of this being discussed. Thanks.
oh my gosh Rachel your podcast episode today could not have come on a better day thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ and then to make it even more miraculous the example that you gave in the end about the teenage daughter just starting to go out and the two podcast that you recommended ... I think it was the risktaking and the lying are exactly the ones I need to listen to so please could you send me the links to those. Super grateful, Pippa xx
Hi there, I love your podcast, and it's helping me so much to navigate these teenage years. I only wish I had found you sooner! I was wondering if you could talk a bit about energy drinks and young teens. My 14 year old son wants to try the new white Monster (sugar free), as unfortunately a lot of his friends drink it. He enjoys gaming and a lot of gamers seem to drink it pre competition to increase focus, and also teens are being told that it is a good pre-workout. I have refused to buy it for him, but obviously I can't control what he does with his friends and I want him to understand and realise why they aren't good for him. He rolls his eyes whenever I try to give him the facts! The other issue is how to help dopamine seeking teens find something that is safe but fills their need for excitement. Currently, my son is into gaming, but he seems to generally seek out 'exciting' friendships, and I am worried that it is need for excitement will lead him to drugs/quick hits. He's also getting into gym workouts but interested in steroids/protein supplements although he knows they are unsafe! I would love an episode on these areas and issues surrounding teen male friendships and self esteem. I have listened avidly to your teen boy podcasts including the more recent Adolescence one which was so insightful. Many thanks, Fatima Agha
hi, could you please cover older teens (16-19) and lack of motivation. My son gets frustrated and feels like there is something wrong with him that he doesn’t feel motivated, even with the threat of failing education or losing his work placement. Thanks so much!
this was a great episode thank you! Could you cover how to help your teenager when they have no friends and are isolated? And also how to cope with it as a parent - I am so worried about my 13 year old daughter that I can’t sleep and feel sick when I think about how lonely she is.
Hi, thank you so much for this podcast, and your energy! It’s been great listening to both of you. One suggestion: I would love to see you a few episodes that would be meant for our teens! Of course, parents would listen to it but I feel like you could probably offer good advices to teen. Sometimes I wish I would have my 2 daughters listening to your episodes but I think they’ll find them too “parent focus”. Just an idea 😊. Jean-Pierre, Montreal Canada
hello Rachel and Suzie I just wanted to thank you both for your super helpful podcasts! What an amazing resourceful insight on parenting challenges xx you literally have been a lifeline when I've felt so lost and so alone in my mind as to how to find the best way to navigate my way through this. Is there a possibility to call and speak to either one of you at all as I'm more of a verbal learner and feel it would really help me start and do things differently this year? If not that's fine but thought I would ask. Xx In particular I have been listening to the boundaries and consequences and wondered if you could help me start with clarity. Thanks with love mother of 17year old mature girl x
in episode 104: teen weight and body image you mention a good book you were reading. Are you able to tell me what that book was, I can't seem to find it in the shower notes.
I was literally about to message you and then you quoted me back to myself!! Thank you so much for mentioning my TOAST book - that's made my day!! The thing I was going to share was a quote I have next to my desk which says "separate the to-do list from the emotions". It really helps me when I am spiralling and I thought of it when you talked about how you've learnt that just doing one thing at a time is the way to be constructive and reduce overwhelm. Anyway, just sharing in case it helps others. Thank you as ever for your research and advice and building of community x x
loved this episode so much and about to share with everyone I know! The one thing I would add to the list (she writes, out on her morning jog) is working out what your non-negotiable is as a parent (in terms of your own self-preservation for playing the long game) and making sure it just always happens, no excuses. For me it’s morning exercise - a run or a swim or some yoga (or two or all three this week as I’m on hols in suffolk!!!!!!) - and then I’m set up for the day to be the mum I’m going to be. So that’s just one thing I’d add - making sure we all do one thing each day just for ourselves and having no guilt about it, even when we are asked to do something for or with our kids as we are leaving the house. I’m also much better at working out the negative non-negotiable: it’s taken me years and years to realise I’m just a much nicer, happier, better mum when I don’t really drink, for example. Working out what you're not going to do or be - fun spritzer mum!! - can be as important as working out what you are going to do or be. Again, once decided it removes the guilt. But for others I know that sundowner would be their ring fenced non-negotiable! Anyway, thanks so much for all your work and research and engagement and curiosity. You guys really prop us all up. And happy birthday! You are looking INCREDIBLE for 100!!! x x Tara
thank you so much for the festival episode with your daughters. I am already worried about Reading and my twins are only 14! This has been so helpful and whilst I’m still nervous, it’s given me some excellent tips and made me realise it’s just a thing the kids have to do ! Thanks again
loved this episode with your daughter. Please can she come on again and talk about 14 year old mother / daughter struggles? I’m feeling like dad is the favourite even though I do most of the parenting. Maybe a glimpse into 14/15 year old girls heads would be very useful 🙏🏻🌸🙏🏻I'd like to remain anonymous. Thanks