Ep. 81 How to Influence Kids' Nutrition for a Healthy Metabolism: Expert Tips from Pam Howard

In this episode, Jo and life coach Pam Howard discuss effective strategies for encouraging healthy nutrition habits --the cornerstone of building and maintaining a speedy metabolism--with our kids. Pam, a life and parenting coach, shares practical tips and insights from her experience as a mom and coach. The conversation covers five key do's and don'ts for instilling healthy habits, including avoiding the use of food as a reward, not forcing children to clean their plates, and creating a positive mealtime environment. Pam emphasizes the importance of setting a good example, involving kids in meal preparation, and being patient with the process.

Follow Pam at @lessdramamama and listen to her podcast Less Drama More Mama.

00:00 Introduction to Today's Topic
00:23 Meet Pam Howard: Life and Parenting Coach
01:35 The Do's and Don'ts of Children's Nutrition
02:12 Don'ts: Avoiding Common Pitfalls
12:21 Do's: Encouraging Healthy Habits
22:25 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

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Hi everyone. You've got Joe and today we have Pam Howard with us. Pam is a life and parenting coach. She hosts a podcast. She has a book. She has a coaching business. Today's topic is going to be how to influence healthy nutrition and exercise habits with your children. Some do's and don'ts. Before we get into that, Pam, do you want to introduce yourself? Sure. Thanks so much for having me here. I, like you said, I'm a life coach. I'm also a licensed clinical social worker in the state of Florida, and I'm the mom of two teenagers. They're 14 and 18. My older daughter graduates tomorrow from high school. Very exciting. And I help moms stop yelling at their kids and feel calm and confident in their parenting. So they can. Have the kind of relationships that they want with their kids. That's what I love to do. And so I'm happy to be here. And I am almost at a year and as a client in your program. And that's been amazing too. Yeah. I can't wait to hear your advice. Do you want to tell people where they can find you? Podcast in your book and your Instagram and stuff before we get started. Okay. So my website is called, my business name is called less drama, more mama. And so that's the name of my podcast, name of my book. It's kind of everything. So you can find me there. And on Instagram it's less drama mama, but everywhere else it's less drama, more mama. Okay, great. Okay. So what do you got for us today? Okay. First, a disclaimer that I am not a nutritionist. I'm not a fitness coach or pediatrician or any of those things. So a lot of what I'm going to share with you is based on, things that I've experienced as a mom that I've helped other that I've helped clients with. And also just like. Parenting best parenting practices, but I know that this will be a conversation between the two of us. Cause you have that nutrition and fitness background and you're a mom yourself. So we can talk through each of these things. So I have five don'ts. We're going to start with the don'ts and then end with the dues. So five dues and five don'ts. The first one is don't force your kids to eat or clean their plates. And a lot of these things I had to learn as my kids were growing up because I didn't know them in the beginning. So making kids finish everything on their plate. often backfires because it teaches kids to ignore their own hunger and fullness signals which can lead to overeating and unhealthy habits later on. So we want to help them listen to their bodies and eat until they're satisfied, but not stuffed. So a lot of moms, when I talk about this, we'll say, yeah, but that's a waste of food. I don't want to waste food. So My answer to that would be try serving smaller portions. Okay. If they're still hungry, they can go back for more save your leftovers. You can get really creative with leftovers and to change your mindset around it from this is a waste to. This is an investment in my child's health and being, right? Like a little bit of food that you throw away is a small price to pay for teaching your kids a foundation of healthy eating. So that's the first thing. And I think that is that, oh gosh, I'm afraid to throw food away. That's something that we carry into adulthood, right? I know. I have that issue yeah, exactly. I spent so much money on this food. I spent so much time making it. It's, it can be hard to throw it away. Yeah. Or what we do as moms is we'll eat it ourselves, and then that's not. Healthy for us but yeah, no, I can already tell as you go through these, we're going to see how these things play out in adulthood. So yeah. Yeah, probably also something if this is something you grew up with to remind yourself that you don't have to lick the plate, clean the plate maybe when you go out to restaurants and such, even if you've paid a lot for the food. Once you get to a satisfied level, you don't have to keep stepping yourself just because it's there. Yeah. Okay. Okay. The second one is not, is don't focus on their weight. So as we know, as adults talking about weight can be tricky and it can make kids feel self conscious or anxious about their bodies. So instead we want to focus on health and teach them about how foods. Different foods help their bodies grow strong and healthy, so they can develop a positive body image and avoid, problems down the road, like eating disorders and things like that. And yeah just like you said, when we focus on our weight, right? And the number on the scale, it doesn't tell the whole story. So it's the same with our kids. Yeah and if you have been in this program, probably the most important. Coaching class from a mindset that perspective that we teach is breaking up with the scale and it boy, that is ingrained really deeply. And most women that we work with just fixated on a number on the scale. What the number is can dictate whether you are going to have a good day, a bad day, whether you're a good person, a terrible person. So never maybe getting together with the scale for kids as they're younger. Really good idea. And I do think that this is a bit generational. I don't ever remember weighing myself growing up, or my mom having a scale. I think we did from time to time. But I think for some women, it must have just been like the thing. And I've noticed for a little bit older women, it's an even bigger deal, like that number and what that number means. And just not even really being able to understand that there are things, it's not all about the number on the scale. You can be a number and it can mean you. Are very healthy or you can be at the same number and it can mean that you're not so healthy. It doesn't tell you really anything about body composition. So I think yeah, just not even planting that seed to ever begin with. This is really smart with our kids. It's hard sometimes even when you go to the pediatrician because the pediatrician says something about the number and then you're like, what are you doing? And then it gets in their head from there from them. But yeah, for sure. And like I said, maybe it's changing a bit. My, my daughter might be a little bit of an outlier, but she knows how much she weighs and she's proud of her muscular body so hopefully we can keep. Planting those seeds, especially in our girls, I think for boys, it might be different, but I know that they have, they can have body image issues as well. Yeah. All right. So the 3rd don't is don't use food as a reward or a punishment. When we link good behavior or bad behavior to certain foods or withholding certain foods, we create emotional associations with foods that can lead to emotional eating. Okay. So we want to separate food from behavior management as much as possible so that kids learn to enjoy food for what it is and not as a tool for getting what they want or avoiding getting into trouble. What do you think about that 1? Yeah, I think that's really hard. Yeah, hard to me, maybe because it was used for with me, or maybe that's because, it's always oh, let's go get a treat or. Oh, it's been a long day. Let's get some ice cream. But again, I think how that translates when we're adults is I've had such a hard day. It's been so hard or I've worked so hard. The real conundrum is I've been working so hard at my health and nutrition habits. I deserve a hot fudge sundae. And then sometimes you go and do everything you've just been working on. Not that you can't ever have a hot fudge sundae, but it just becomes this really weird cycle. But but I do think it's hard. It is hard, but I can remember this one. I was pretty good about with my kids. I remember, with Goodie bags for, after a birthday party or something and putting in other something other than candy or, anything where there was like a celebration, like, how can you celebrate doesn't mean that you can't have any food, but like, how can you make it less about the food than about the celebration? What you're, What you are not rewarding, but what you're celebrating, right? Yeah. Yeah. And at the same time, we don't ever want to like, say, you've been bad. So you don't deserve food. Exactly. That gets translated into adulthood to in some pretty weird ways. Yeah, probably best to divorce. food and behavior. The next one is don't label foods as good or bad. And I am totally guilty of this one into my adulthood. What I've realized is calling foods good or bad makes us feel guilty about eating certain things. Instead we want to teach about what you've taught me, Joe, like the balance, that balance and moderation is okay. And that all foods can be part of a healthy diet when eaten in the right amounts. And yeah, I want to pass that on to my kids and help them enjoy like a whole variety of foods without them feeling bad about any of it. Yeah. I have a pretty strong opinion about this because I think what this, Like good, bad, clean, unclean. I don't know what the opposite, dirty is opposite of clean, but the clean food movement or whatever, and you see it everywhere. Never eat this. If you want to get banished your belly fat, never eat an apple again. It could just get super crazy. But what I feel like it has done is no one really knows what good nutrition is. No one understands. Okay. How much protein should I be eating? What makes a food good or bad or healthy or unhealthy? We don't. Even understand what that looks like. We just have this list of things that are on limits, off limits for, and it changes year by year. I know like seed oils have been demonized. I don't really know that much about seed oils, but very qualified, reputable nutritionists. I follow her like the seed oils are not evil. Like sugar is not evil. If you ate five pounds of sugar every day, yes, that's not good, but really what we need to strive for is like a healthy balance. Of foods that fuel our body. And and you can do that without having foods that are on the good list and the naughty list. And really what it forces you to do is learn about the nutritional value of all foods and how they fit in your diet. Yeah, I think also as you're talking, I'm thinking about like certain foods that feel good in our bodies versus don't feel good. So for me, peppers and onions, they're healthy, but I, but they don't agree with my stomach, so I avoid them, but it's not that they're not bad. They're just, they don't agree with me or, they don't. And my sister has all kinds of food sensitivities and things like that. So what like feels good in your body too, is important to pay attention to. Yeah. Okay. What's next? Okay. The 5th don't is don't skip family meals. Eating together as a family has so many benefits. Kids are more likely to eat healthy foods when they see their parents doing it. So it's an opportunity for you to model healthy eating when you're eating together. And. It's it's just a great way to bond as a family. I love having meals together with my kids. We do not have the distraction of a TV or phones at the table. We just have conversation and it's a great time. There's lots of research to support that eating together as a family is really good for kids. Yeah, it sounds like you're probably a little better at this than I am. So I just feel like my kids are scattered. They don't want to get harder as they get older, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. But but I do think it's important. I think for you parents with younger kiddos, like really instill that as a, Sacred time a special time. However, you can do that because you will miss it as they get older. And and yeah, I think it's really important and it is really a sacred time to just be together and share what's going on. But it does get challenging. As they get older, my tip on this would be, have your kids help make the family dinner. That is, you're getting ahead. I'm, that's one of my. We'll talk about that then, but yes any way that they can contribute, I think is going to make that time even more special. Okay. We'll start with that one as the, so these are the five dues. We'll start with involve your kids in meal preparation. Joe and I've had talks about this before. Cause Joe, you love to cook your kids, cook my daughter, my older daughter, especially loves to cook. So when they help with the shopping and the meal planning and the cooking, they get excited about. Food and are more willing to try new things. It gives them a sense of ownership, makes mealtime more fun. They also learn such important skills and gain a better understanding of what goes into their meals. And it's just, if you can, start with baking Cookies, I guess if that's like something that your kid really enjoys or something, but but slowly invite them to just start helping you chop vegetables, or even set the place settings on the table. Anything where they're involved in helping out would be amazing. Yeah, I'm going to probably say this is my biggest do is teach your kids how to cook, teach your kids how to grocery shop. That has been the biggest eye opener for me and owning this business is the number of adults who are literally clueless about how to nourish their bodies like at all. What do you mean make dinner? I, I don't cook dinner. I grab a frozen this, or I swing by, I, we don't keep food in our house. Or I don't, there is no plan to have, there's just. Catch up, catch can, or we don't go grocery shopping on a regular basis. So nourishing our bodies is like a very basic fundamental need of every human. I actually don't hear from people who know how to cook and have that skill, so maybe don't love it, but they, I don't hear those people saying, oh, I hate cooking. I never want to be in the kitchen. Just, it's usually a fear and a lack of skill and just comfort in the kitchen. You don't have to be like a gourmet chef or anything, but just basic skills are really helpful. And just knowing how to get food in your body that isn't from a restaurant or a frozen meal also you grew up on a farm, and I think that's another thing that my kids. Have really been into is like growing their own food, and that's such a cool experiment when they're young and they see that, they see it grow and then they can taste it. And it's just it's another really cool thing to do with kids is just have them grow their own herbs or their own vegetables. Yeah, when I was, I think it must have been, it was probably between my 8th and 9th grade years of. High school. I couldn't drive anywhere yet. I really wanted a summer job. So my mom said you can be like the family chef and, do all the grocery shopping. So I had to do all the meal planning and grocery shopping. Looking back, that probably was the best, most helpful job I've ever had because I learned how to plan and shop and cook meals for, My family, anyone that was helping my parents on the farm, we would usually make lunch or dinner. Just really valuable to teach your children those skills and just be comfortable in the kitchen and comfortable going to a grocery store. Understanding what protein is understanding what carbs are those sorts of things. Okay. Number 2 do is to set a good example. So kids learn from watching us. So we want to just set an example of, show them how much we live in, eating fruits and vegetables and. Protein and all the things because often they'll follow your lead. And not always, not right away, but I find that, eventually like we, we tend to have similar eating similar eating habits and patterns to those that were around the most. And you're the one in charge of buying the food mostly and, providing the food. So again, just make sure that you're providing them with. The healthiest options. Yeah, I think my thoughts on this are again for you parents with younger kiddos really start showing what like, healthy meals look like my teenagers. I think that they would live on Chipotle if they could that food is just going to be more and more enticing to them as they get older. And teaching them with your family dinners and such, like, how to construct a healthy meal. How much protein having a healthy protein carb and fat at meals showing them what healthy. No construction looks like is is really important. For them to see that they, they're going to mimic you in most cases, or eat the food that you have in your house. If you can set an example, that's going to be really helpful to them when they go off on their own. I think. Yeah, I think I told you, Joe, that my kids have already said to me like, wow, we didn't realize how healthy we eat here when, until we've gone to other friends houses and seen how they eat. And I overheard my daughter the other day talking about how she enjoys salad and she enjoys, eating fruits and vegetables. So that's just, it's awesome. The third do is to educate them about nutrition, which is what we're talking about. So it's pretty self explanatory, but teaching them about the benefits of certain foods will help them make better choices. Yeah. And my point on this, of course, is going to be protein, helping them learn how to eat protein, get enough protein. And that is in terms of, I think that's like the number one thing everyone could learn is just what eating enough protein looks like. I think that probably is the one key to weight management as we grow older, that if you can nail that and start nailing that when you're younger, it's going to save off so many other problems. My son is good about eating protein. My daughter, she knows that she should need it. Getting a hundred grams of protein in your kids a day is, that's not easy. But anything I think you can do to help push that or help them understand that it's going to serve them for their entire life. Awesome. Okay. Two more. The one for the fourth one is to do create a positive mealtime environment. Because when mealtimes are calm and stress free, kids are more relaxed and open to trying new things, and we want them to have positive associations with eating, so you want to try to have a very relaxed and fun mealtime. And often I know from working with tons of moms that mealtime is anything but stress free. It's probably one of the most stressful times. Yeah, so that's, if you can just, relax your expectations, relax your standards around certain things. And just believe that you can they're getting nutrition. They're getting enough food. I think that's the most, the thing that I hear the most from moms is that they fear that their kids aren't eating enough, but oftentimes they are getting enough nutrition even if it's the same. Food day after day. It's okay. My pediatrician told me that's okay. Because they're still getting, they're still getting food. And their tastes change over time. Ours do too. I remember when my. Daughter didn't used to like tomatoes and now she does, or I remember like I hated Brussels sprouts. I didn't even like the smell of them, but now I love them. Their tastes, their preferences will change over time. And so we can just relax a little bit about it and not feel like we have to get them to like everything right now. Yeah, and I think, sometimes during the week when things are busy, you're just trying to get dinner on the table. At least that's my life. It's like, bringing stuff here. But maybe if you can make 1 special meal time a week, I usually try to make Sunday nights like, fancy or special or hey, let's just go to Trader Joe's and see what we can come up with and that would be fun to cook or let's make pizza or put out the fancy glasses or get fun, sparkling water, just something to make it fun and not a burden. But if you can just take a step back. And have, one meal a week. That's start there. That's fun.. Another thing to make things just simpler and less stressful is to have like themed nights, right? So we used to have meatball Mondays, taco Tuesdays, pizza night, like breakfast for dinner night, whatever. What is coming? They're excited about what's coming. And it just makes it, it just makes it less stressful. You don't have to really think, make decisions every night about what it is you're going to have. Yeah. Yeah. And also like planning, just having some meals on hand that you can put together is going to make it less stressful for you and the final do and this is one of the things that I work with moms most on is to be patient. So getting kids to change their eating habits or to try new foods can take time. And we've probably all heard like they need sometimes to try something several times before they actually start to enjoy it. So by being patient, you give them the chance to get used to new things with, on their own terms, without them feeling. Pressured or pushed into it. And it just goes into being patient goes into the one about having a stress free environment. It all relates because, if you're like, getting upset with your kid for not eating something or not liking something, then they have a bad association with meal times. You're upset, they're upset and it's just not a good situation. So be patient. And know that everything's going to be okay. These are great tips. Yeah, patients, that's like the golden rule, right? With all things with your own health and nutrition goals, you learning to eat a new way for training, adopt healthier habits, that sort of thing. Sometimes things take time. And it never works when we just put a bunch of pressure on ourselves or the people around us to conform or change in the way that we want. So that's just a good life lesson. I think that we all probably have to take or, take to heart. Okay. So that's what we have for you today on the boost, your metabolism after age 30 podcast. Hopefully you got some good tips and some good do's and don'ts from Pam. And we will catch you next time.