Episode 116: We’re All Doing Life for the First Time (A Raw Conversation About Parenting and Grace)

In this heartfelt episode of Fit Fueled and Busy, host Janine opens up about the challenges and emotions involved in raising a competitive gymnast while maintaining balance as a parent. Reflecting on the closure of her daughter's beloved gym, Janine discusses the complexities of finding a new training facility that matches their needs. She shares a profound conversation with friends, emphasizing the importance of giving oneself grace while navigating parenting for the first time. The episode encourages listeners to embrace life's imperfections, learn from mistakes, and extend grace to oneself and others.

00:00 Welcome and Introduction

00:15 Being Unfiltered and Vulnerable

01:11 Gymnastics Journey and Challenges

03:05 Parental Reflections and Decisions

05:07 Grace and Growth in Parenting

08:04 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Thanks for listening, we hope you enjoyed it.

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Transcript

0:00

welcome back to Fit Fueled and Busy. I'm your host, Janine, and I'm so glad that you're here today. I cannot believe we are already at the end of January. It is so true what they say that time just goes faster and faster. Before we really dive into our unfiltered episode today, you know the one where we talk about the raw real parts of life. I've been thinking about this episode and I just wanna be honest and say I'm not sure that I have been as raw and unfiltered with these episodes as maybe I should be. The truth is it's hard to be open about parts of life. It's hard to put yourself out there and to be vulnerable with life experiences, but also, in my opinion, that is what makes life so beautiful. We all are unique. We have different perspectives. We bring different things to the table. We have unique experiences, and we have an opportunity to learn from one another, to support each other and to become better individuals ourselves. So today I'm really going unfiltered and just sharing some real stuff going on in my life. My oldest daughter does competitive gymnastics, and she absolutely loves it. I mean, she lives and breathes gymnastics. I have absolutely loved watching her grow in the sport, but also as an individual, as it's taught her hard work drive determination how to be a good teammate, and honestly, so much more. In early December, we received news that her gym was closing. Honestly, we were devastated as our gym has really become Heidi's safe place and we have such an amazing gym family. We're so grateful for them that gym. Has just positively impacted both of my daughters and I more than I can express over the last two years. I'm thankful that the coaches have worked out a plan so that the girls can finish out their season, but it also means that after the state meet in March, we will need to find a new gym home. If you don't know anything about competitive gymnastics, it is a big time commitment and also a financial commitment. My daughter currently spends anywhere between nine and 12 hours a week at the gym, which means I'm typically there at least half, if not more of those nine or 12 hours. But finding a new gymnastics gym isn't just finding the next place down the road, it's understanding how they coach. Making sure the practice schedule can be met, understanding the financial expenses, and most importantly, learning about the culture of the gym to ensure it's a healthy place for my daughter to be. It also likely means that not all of her current gymnast friends will be at our new gym, so she'll have to make new friends. To be honest, it's all a bit overwhelming and it feels like a huge decision as there is a lot to consider. Not only that, but she's eight years old and it's a big time commitment for her. And sometimes I do find myself wondering if I'm doing my best job as her parent by having her spend so much time at the gym. However, I keep finding myself going back to the fact that she absolutely loves it. If you know my daughter, you know, she loves gymnastics. She hates to miss practice. She gets upset with me if I tell her we need to miss a practice for a family event or some other reason. And also she's pretty naturally talented at it. So anyway, I was discussing the situation with two of my girlfriends who I became friends with through our gymnastics gym. When they say a gym family, it truly is. What it is, you are there so often you're fighting through competitions, stressing over them, stressing over how well your daughter performs. And you do. You become friends with these other parents who are there supporting their daughters. So anyway, these two girlfriends who I became friends with through our gymnastics gym, they're in the same boat as I am. They're researching gyms, contemplating the amount of time and financial costs and everything else that goes into finding a new gym. And we started discussing how all three of our girls love gymnastics and we have the deepest desire to help them pursue their dreams, goals, and the things that they love, but also as their parents. How do we help ensure we are raising them to be healthy individuals and we are making sure we aren't pushing them to a sport that may one day outgrow? Is it a good idea? We have them dedicated to this extent at this age. Basically, we were not questioning but just acknowledging with each other the difficult decisions. We as parents are faced with when it comes to having such a strong desire to raise strong, healthy girls. In this conversation with them, one of them said something that was so profound for me, she said, I like to remind myself that just as much as my daughter is doing life for the first time, so am I. I'm a first time mom doing the best I can with what I have and what I know. Honestly, hearing that took away some of the pressure I had placed on myself, and I could feel it building more and more as we were discussing everything about making this big decision. And just in general, the decisions we are faced with when it comes to raising healthy girls. The more I sat with that statement, the more I was able to give myself a little bit of grace to tell myself that it's okay not to have all the answers. In fact, why would I even put that expectation on myself? Just because I am their mom doesn't mean I have to know it all. I am living right along with them. For the first time together, my girls and I get to figure life out. And sometimes I'm going to make the wrong decision and rather than beat myself up about it, I will own it and work to resolve the issue. What an opportunity to learn and grow, but also to help my daughters learn and grow along with me. My friend went on to say that this reminder allows her to give her mom grace. She stated that as she reminds herself that when. Her mom was raising her, and as she looks back on her childhood, sure there are some things that she would have done differently if she were in her mom's shoes or there's things that she's choosing to do differently with her daughter. But she said, I remind myself that my mom was doing life and motherhood for the first time too, and that there is no handbook or instructions that come with this life and with motherhood. It was such a good conversation and one that truly has stuck with me since we had it a few weeks back. I've found myself applying it not just to parenting my two girls, but also to other areas of my life, my career, my relationships, my business. I've never done any of this before. Just like you, I have one shot at life and I will do my absolute best to make the best decisions to live to the standards I set for myself. And I will give myself grace as I continue to navigate all of the intricacies that come with life, health, fitness, career, and motherhood. And mom and dad, if you're listening to this, you did a dang good job with raising my sisters and I, you sacrificed so much for us, you gave us and continue to give us your all. And while it hasn't always been perfect, you both always give your best to us. And for that, I am so grateful. Maybe life is feeling hard. Maybe you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders right now faced with decisions that are causing you stress. I think this is very common for highly driven individuals, parents and people who are always looking to grow. Just remember, it's okay if you make a mistake. It's how you handle that mistake, how you learn from it that counts. You aren't going to do this life perfectly. Give yourself grace, learn and grow, and do the best you absolutely can. We are all doing each stage of life for the first time. Thanks for tuning in today. I hope you have an amazing week, and we will see you next week on Fit Fueled and Busy.