You Don’t Need Confidence to Begin, You Need Courage w/ Harun Rabbani EP 194

You Don’t Need Confidence to Begin, You Need Courage w/ Harun Rabbani EP 194

If you’ve been waiting to feel confident before making the call, stepping on stage, or launching your work, this conversation flips the script. Mentor, martial artist, and former record-breaking medical device sales leader Harun Rabbani joins us to unpack why confidence is an outcome, not a starting point — and how small daily acts of courage build the competence that makes confidence inevitable.

Harun shares the moments that shaped him: growing up as the outsider, refusing to change his name to fit in, and turning years of being the smallest fighter in the room into a British title through focus and repetition. He reveals how a relationship-first mindset transformed a struggling sales career into record-breaking success, and how visualizing the end state in vivid, sensory detail primes you to act like the person who achieves it.

You’ll also learn Harun’s five-part framework for sustainable growth:

1. Get crystal clear on your vision
2. Commit with a compelling “why”
3. Take one courageous step a day
4. Build competence through repetition
5. Let confidence arrive naturally

We dive into practical tools for managing fear — including a simple breathing cadence to calm your nervous system, how posture and movement shape your mood, and why nutrition quietly influences anxiety. Harun widens the lens with his Nine Relationships Model — mind, body, nutrition, spirit, money, family, work, service, and planet — to help you spot where neglect drains energy and where consistent attention creates transformation.

Walk away with:

• Tools to act before you feel ready
• Stories that prove progress belongs to those who show up
• A reminder to dare to be yourself

If this episode resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs the nudge, and leave a review with your 1% action for the week.

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Transcript

Stop Waiting For Confidence

Anita Mattu 1:06

So many people are waiting, waiting to feel confident, waiting to feel the fit, to fade, waiting for perfect moments to finally take that step. But what if that's the very thing keeping you stuck? What if confidence doesn't come before action? But because of it. Today's guest is my dear friend and the amazing Arun Rabani. Knows his truth better than most. Once an introvert who dreaded sales calls, he went on to become one of the top performers in his industry, not because he felt fearless, but because he learned to act through fear. For over two decades, Arun has mentored what he calls titan leaders, high achievers who dare to lead themselves first. In the last decade alone, Arun has hosted 27 retreats, delivered seven and a half thousand hours of one-to-one coaching, healing sessions using his own process, the THT method. He's the forthcoming author of Rising Titans and the writer of Shattered Grandest Illusion of How to Heal Yours. In today's episode, Tarun will reveal why confidence isn't something you wait for, it's something you build through quiet, courageously, daily action. If you've ever felt stuck, unready, or afraid to take the next step, the next leap, this conversation might just give you the courage to do it anyway. Arun, welcome to Create the Courage to Be Fearless.

Harun Rabbani 3:02

Good morning, u Anita. There's only two people in the world who call me Arun. One is my mentee because she's from North America and she forgets to add the age. And you, so uh, and I know you have dyslexia. So Arun Rabani is a name, and uh thank you. It's absolutely brilliant. I'm so delighted you're doing a podcast because I know you're so passionate about the work that you do.

Anita Mattu 3:22

Oh, thank you so much. Really heartfelt. So, what is one of the most courageous things you have done? Because I've known you for uh over a few decades now, and I know you've done a lot, so to pick one is going to be difficult.

Harun Rabbani 3:39

Um I think it's it's interesting about the whole courageous thing. Um courage is only needed needed when you're in a state of fear, uh, a state of anxiety. That's when you need courage. You don't need courage if you're fearless. And I've had plenty of fears in my life. I couldn't pick one single one and say, this is the one. But I think the most courageous thing for me of late, I guess, is post-divorce, and it's not late, it's been a couple of decades. Post-divorce is to pick myself up again. Um, the grief, the anxiety, the heartbreak was absolutely intense. It took me to Shadowland, really, really uh in a very dark place. But at some point, it was enough. Enough was enough. Because truth be told, had I not gone through that particular space, I wouldn't meet you. I wouldn't be doing meeting the thousands of amazing people, but hundreds of highly inspirational people. So the courage. I think, and and I don't think it's exclusive to just divorce, but actually to pick yourself up when things aren't going the way you want to, the thing, the way your dreams are supposed to be mapped out in your head. Um, so I guess it's it's a constant thing. Because, you know, well, what's the saying, right? Humans plan and God loves. So we're constantly planning hope, streams, aspirations, life should be like this, and and so on, and all of a sudden you go, Oh, look, curveball. And the curveball sometimes knocks you off, kilter so much. So you need the courage to be authentically you again and stay on track.

Anita Mattu 5:27

I absolutely love that, and absolutely, and well done for doing everything. And absolutely, we go through what we do to get to the next stage, and along the way, we do meet some amazing people. So, yeah, we do have to go through the highs and the lows, or we wouldn't be where we are now. Absolutely, and doing the work that we are. Arun, you've spent two decades mentoring high achievers, but before the titles and the success, what did courage look like for you personally?

Not Fitting In And Owning Identity

Harun Rabbani 6:00

I think as a child, you don't know what you don't know. You don't know if things are gonna you that you need courage. So, example is I actually came to England, uh, Birmingham, England from Bangladesh, and we it was in 1974, yeah, 74 I believe. And uh we'd a couple of years earlier we'd come out of a genocide, three million people genocide. And and and and I guess when you're and I was the only baby by the way, but you carry it in your cellular memory. And so when you're going through through something like that, when you're coming from a at the time, the poorest country in the world, then everything else be seems to be a walk in the park, but it never is. So I came to the UK, um, lived in Birmingham, multicultural, diverse area, never experienced racism, and then I moved to Sunderland, not on purpose. I was 12, my dad set up a business, and I remember the first day at school. Well, it wasn't even the first day, it was the day where I was getting enrolled into the school. So it was a couple of days before the school, so it would have been Thursday or something like that. And we sat outside the headmaster's office for the meeting to come, and the kids were coming in from lunch break, and I can see that they extended their queue, because they just needed to go up the stairs, but they came all the way around, extended their queue, and so many stairs. I've never had I've never had stairs, but I mean, one stair after the other, and I I'll be honest with you, I felt like a caked animal. I felt disconnected. I felt I was the only person of colour that they've ever met, they've ever seen. And I it's not blaming them or saying, you know, I felt I was a victim, but it felt very weird. But over the forthcoming years, what I had to do was we had a takeaway, anything takeaway, and uh my job as a 12-year-old with my dad's failing business was to serve customers. And so, and you know, when we cook curry out, your clothes end up smelling right. So I used to, you know, and we didn't have an iron, so I had crease shirts. So every morning to go into school, I would walk, not even get the bus, walk for about a mile and a half to school. And we'd experience so much racism at so every day, every single day. So we're constantly on the alert and constantly looking. And then when I arrived at school, other than you know, classroom, class time is fine. Is that in the breaks and the lunch breaks? Again, I feel really, really disconnected. I think they wanted my the same races, I would have said, you know, uh about my name. This is why I've got to think about my name is so my name is Haroon, but they wanted to call me Harry. I said, you know, can we call you Harry? You can become one of us. And I was looking at them and I thought, right, no, thank you. You are the same guys who are verbally abusive. And so it would have been forgiving, forgive, you know, you could forgive a child, a 12-year-old, to say, yeah, okay, you know, you wanted to fit in. But I realized I could never fit in. And I think a lot of the times, and and this probably will it's almost like a signature tune for my entirety of my life, is I never fitted in anywhere that I went in the school. I was the only person of colour until my sister joined. There was a Chinese kid, but he did fit in. Um, and besides him, so only person of colour. Uh, when I went to Kung Fu, I was the skinniest, smallest person there, and only person of colour. When I moved to Birmingham later on, um when I was 18, I joined a Kung Fu school there. I was the only non-black person there. So I was always never the never fitting in. I was uh I I ended up in sales, I was the only person of colour. And this is UK, by the way. This is now moving forward to the 1990s. So courage is for me was being daring to just be myself and not be not allowed other people's um wanting to control me, other people's desire for me to please them. So I I just didn't want to people please. This is me. I can't be anybody else. That I believe for anyone, not just me, is the most courageous thing to do. Be you.

Confidence Myth And Skill Before Nerve

Anita Mattu 10:29

Absolutely, I cannot echo that enough. And you know my story, the aspects of my life where I have never fitted in, or at least I felt I don't fit in. And even with my sexuality and being Asian. So yes, I can really understand that. But Well done for not feeling you have to fit in and be called Harry. You know, I think that's really courageous of you because why should we as individuals have to fit in anywhere? Absolutely. I love that. Um thank you for sharing that. You often say people wait to feel confident before they take action. Why is that such a dangerous myth? And how did it show up in your own life?

Harun Rabbani 11:15

Confidence is is one of the it's such a big myth, and people still perpetuate that same myth again and again. And I have to say it's a lie, it's a killer, it's a killer of dreams. Imagine you wanted to be public speaker, professional speaker on stage. Or maybe even not even on stage, but just to a small group of people. It's considered as in the UK as the number one biggest phobia, which is crazy, right? Now, what do you do? You you build wait for the confidence to happen before you do it? Or let's take go even much further. Let's talk about the bike. And a lot of people would have learned how to ride a bike when they were little. Do you wait for confidence to happen before you get on the bike? What about swimming? Do you wait for confidence to happen before you start swimming? Here's the thing we use swimming as an example. Imagine somebody read all the books in the world about swimming, all the different strokes and the feed position and the breathing techniques, and they watch all the YouTube videos, they went to all the seminars, but they never set foot into or never dipped their toe into a swimming pool. But somehow they've got this illusion that they're the confidence. I said, Well, let's go for a boat ride into the English Channel or any channel if you want, and uh we'll see how confident you are. Let's just drop you in the water and see how much you can swim. Give them a couple of minutes, they'll be drowned. That's how dangerous it is, because if you wait for confidence to happen, you're never gonna get started. Confidence is like it's it's an outcome that's out of your control. It's an outcome that you cannot control. Let me explain. The thing that precedes confidence, and there's much more than that, but the one thing that precedes confidence is competence, capability. We can call it one or the other, interchangeable. In other words, the skill, the capable so my own background as a martial artist, I was not confident, skinniest kid in the Kung Fu class, and this could be across every aspect of my life, skinniest kid in the Kung Fu class, nervous as hell, but just turning up, just turning up and getting on with things. And it took a while, it took me a very long time to become confident. First 18 months of my Kung Fu training, I used to get beaten, I used to get battered and bruised, not because they were being horrible, it's just they were training with me, it was sparring, right? I used to walk home with my shins so swollen up and bruised up from getting, you know, hurt basically, but I kept going. And confidence only came in in the field of Kung Fu after years and years of practice. And yes, eventually I became British champion. And to enter the British Championship, yes, you do need confidence at that stage before you enter, but that came after so much skill development, and not just lots of skill development, but picking on a handful of techniques, and literally for me, it was only two techniques I practiced. I practiced everything, but two of them I would I was obsessed with. There were the very two techniques that took me to the right. I nearly actually built beat the world champion um in the British Championship. So it's it is the skills that you constantly repeat again and again. Think about the bike situation. Now everyone does martial arts. Initially, somebody's there at your side, you get on the bike and might be a tricycle, but eventually you're riding a bike two-wheel. I mean, you might even be doing wheelies, you know, riding on what one uh wheel. So that comes with practice. And so as long as we believe confidence is what we need to do something, then we'll never do it. It just won't happen.

Anita Mattu 15:14

Absolutely love that. And what an analogy. And yeah, riding the bike, but I love the swimming story because it's so true. It's the reality if you think about it. Reading all the books in the world is not gonna get you to learn how to swim. You have to practically do it. Absolutely. I love that. Can you take us back to a moment when fear was running the show? What was the turning point that made you act even when you didn't feel ready?

Selling Through Fear And Relationships

Harun Rabbani 15:47

When I started medical devices sales, I used to sell um instruments um for endoscopy basically. So endoscopy is you know, base it's those tubes and that go down your throat and the other end as well. That's endoscopy, one's called uh gastroscopy, the other one's called colonoscopy. So my products that I was selling were for taking samples, so they're the instruments that went down the channels of these endoscripts. That's a lot of detail understand. Now, it was a great job, absolutely loved it. Not at that point though, when I started, I was rubbish. I was actually very, very bad at it. When I say I was rubbish, my results were rubbish, I was in rubbish, and I'll tell you why. I I was afraid because what I was doing wasn't working for me. I had a target of £100,000 to achieve for the first year because they'd already achieved it. It was £110,000 for my target the year before it had done £100,000, so before I started. And I'd just gotten married before my job a few months earlier. So I was turning up to all the hospitals and meeting the consultants, having conversations and so on. But I kept getting bad results. I I wasn't getting the numbers in, and all my colleagues, it was a big team, and we all started at the same time getting results. There was a big difference soon. So my company's approach was throw enough mud, keep on demonstrating product again and again. Some of it will stick. So it's like throwing in the mud on the wall, right? Some of that's gonna stick. And I thought, I don't want to get my hands dirty. And so I I I realized there was something different I had to do. So we shadowed during our training period before we did the actual job, we shadowed different salespeople. And there were some who were absolutely amazing and some who were okay. And I realized everything boiled down to relationships. Everything boiled down to relationships. The guys who got the best results had the best relationships with the doctors and the nurses. And for me though, yes, I was trying this out for the first time, I was trying other strategies out for the first time, but I kept getting memos saying, Arun, your results aren't coming in. You know, what's going on? And even a warning telling me that this is not good enough. And I can see the writing on the wall as I'm losing my job. This is six months into this job. And then my strategy just kicked in all of a sudden. I got one of the biggest orders that anybody in that division had gotten. And okay, so that's fine. But I kept at it because it could have been hit and miss, right? It could have been just coincidence or luck or whatever terminology you want to give it. So the courage to do something different, I was not using selling techniques. I was building relationships, everybody else was using sales techniques, and then I got another big I had little micro orders in smaller orders, and then I got a big order, and I stopped kept on breaking records. One of my other colleagues competed with me. This was gonna beat Harin, so he beat me. Um to the uh the biggest order uh record, and I thought, okay, I'm gonna beat that. So 10,000 to went to 12,000, someone got 15,000, I got 18,000. He got 25,000. I thought, okay, I'm gonna go for a bit of something higher. I went for 48,000. Then another colleague got 60,000. I thought, screw this, I'm not gonna be there. There's a side to me which I a competitive side, I love. It's not about winning, I just love being number one. Um, as from the martial arts days, and so he got 50,000, 60,000, and I thought, okay, I gotta I gotta do something better. I ended up with a biggest order in the company's history of 148,000. By then, though, and this was just one hospital, by then we I developed a lot more confidence, and by then my I was the golden child, golden boy of the company. But what it was, what I realized is that people are generally naturally skeptical, and maybe even cynical. Cynical means they've already made up their mind, skeptical means they're questioning, and I'm very okay with skeptic skepticism. People are naturally that, and when you're doing something different, you might be the only one who believes in yourself. You might be the only one who believes in the strategy, you might not have anyone who believes in you, and that can leave you in a very dark place if you allow it, or you could be so obsessive about your positive goal that you just keep on going.

Anita Mattu 20:36

Wow. I mean, I love the fact that you just somehow you realize relationships is everything. Because that is that period, that is it. To do that and be able to go ahead and get the sales you did is phenomenal. Get you.

Harun Rabbani 20:56

Well, I tell you what, I mean, uh it at a drop of a hat, if I went back, I'd go back to medical devices sales. I just I just enjoyed it so much. It was so much fun because you know, sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. And I left that company, that first company, where I was earning equivalent to and it was not all about money, but you know, it's a it's a usually it's a measuring stick, a yardstick really. But I was earning equivalent to a hundred thousand pounds a year just under that in today's money. Um, but it wasn't the money, it was the the joy for me of making that difference, and then for myself, my own personal thing was you know, getting progressing to number one, because that I I enjoyed the progression.

Anita Mattu 21:45

Yeah. I really love that. Yes. And I can see how, in a way, your martial arts has actually helped you along the way as well. Yeah.

Harun Rabbani 22:02

But I I adopted it. And the saying is how you do one thing with excellence is how you do everything with excellence. And I realized that actually the martial arts taught me so much beyond the actual fighting techniques, the mindset, the discipline, the focus, and all that. So there's a whole bunch of other stuff. But if I look at my martial arts, and then I realized in medical sales I did exactly the same thing. When I do cooking, it's actually very similar similar thing. I was cooking at my mother's house not so long ago, and um uh for my niece, because she she fell ill and she would ended up in hospital. And I was, you know, doing some cooking for her house gonna give her a treat. My mum saw me cooking, she said, I don't know anyone else who puts their total focus, heart and soul, into just cooking. You don't talk to anyone, you don't, you know, listen to music, you're just doing your thing. I said, Yeah. That's how my food always ends up, you know, ends up being so tasty, is because I'm my mind is already walking. Just thinking of the food I did cook, by the way, just to let you know. So, so how you do one thing with excellence and how you do everything's excellence, and when we do something that isn't going in an excellent kind of way, we've got to step back and say, what am I doing different here? And by the way, it doesn't have to, it could be anything. Excellence could be anything, it doesn't have to be martial arts, it could be knitting, it could, you know, it could be gardening, it could be anything. If you find anything in your life, you think, you know what, I really do this well. So ask yourself, what what it what are the things? Brainstorm them, say, yeah, I do this well. What is the mindset, the attitude, the focus? What is it that you do when you do this thing? How is it that you feel? How's the environment? You know, what are the distractions or lack of, and then just replicate that to other parts of your life? You'd be amazed and astounded at the results.

Anita Mattu 24:05

And it is taking that uh almost passionate self as well. You've got that passion for what you're doing, you want to do well in everything you're doing, it becomes a discipline, absolutely.

Visualisation, Purpose And Big Wins

Harun Rabbani 24:19

So it's it's a magical word you mentioned about passion, but I think um we can do an entire episode just on passion. I'm gonna I'm not gonna do that, but let me just give you one thing about passion. It's so important that what you do, you have passion for it. Whatever it is in life. But I think people confuse passion as if it's an outside thing. The question isn't, is it something you're doing which you're passionate about, or are you bringing your passion to the something you're doing?

Anita Mattu 24:51

Yeah.

Harun Rabbani 24:51

Example, my very uh I worked from the age of 12 full-time, seven days a week. Um so I I I at this moment it sounds I don't know what the math is because I'm not gonna even gonna try, but since the age of uh 12 and I'm now 55 at the time of recording, and eventually I left home, and one of my first jobs I took before even doing a degree was an admin clerk. Specific job, post filing clerk for an insurance company. Literally, as it says in the tin, I collected the post letters, no emails in those days, collected the letters, um, and I distributed the letters to all the insurance brokers. And when they wrote letters, I collected them back. I was part of a small team, stick them in the envelopes, frank them, franken meaning you know, those print through machines called Franken machines, which will put a stamp, take it to the post office. It was probably one of the most boring jobs in the world, but I was part of a team and I was the best in the team because I brought my passion, and I did I didn't I wasn't thinking this consciously, by the way, at the time. It just naturally came, I'm gonna be the best at what I do, I'm gonna make sure that everyone's my people that I'm serving are happy. So it's not, oh, I'm not doing this because I'm not passionate about it. Sometimes, in fact, most of the times, you won't know what you don't know until you've done it. But if you're gonna walk into a job, walk into a relationship or family situation with a miserable approach, so I'm not gonna I don't have passion, well, you're never gonna get started, you're gonna get stuck. On the other hand, the flip side is imagine walking to every situation in your life, operating from your heart rather than just your head. Using your hands, operating as a head heart, um head, heart, and hands operating from those particular space rather than just operating from I'm just turning up to do a job. Imagine how your life would turn around.

Anita Mattu 26:55

Absolutely love that. I mean, you describe yourself as introvert and then you've become more extrovert now. So tell me about that shift.

Harun Rabbani 27:07

I'm well uh it's interesting because a lot of people assume I'm extroverted. A lot of people assume I'm confident, a lot of people assume I'm super wealthy, and they couldn't be more wrong on all counts. So my general tendency is introversion. And I've been around that all my life. And the only reason I developed any kind of extroversion was simply because I just wanted to get away from home. Home was a horrible place for me. And I won't we won't we don't necessarily go into domestic violence and all that kind of stuff and abuse, but it was a horrible case, basically, you know, needless to say. So I had to develop skills which with practice made me look like someone who's sociable. And it's not that I'm faking it. Example, when I joined the Kung Fu class at the age of 14, when people talked to me, like the guys in the Kung Fu Club, they were nice to me, they were really nice people. They'd asked me open-ended questions and I would only have yes or no answers. I was so shy. I really, you know, these same guys, they're still my friends after all these decades later, we're still in touch. I don't live there anymore, but you know, we've got a bit of a brotherhood, maybe guys at the time. And they they're shocked and amazed at the person I've become. Because at the age of 14, coming from this shell shock situation, I realized that I had to speak to people, I had to at least communicate with them, and I had a desire to put a smile on people's face. So if I was gonna be overly introverted, I realized that it's not gonna help me help others. And I mean, come on, I ended up in a sales job. You need some kind of uh extroverted nature. I didn't do sales because of extroverted. I did it, I'll tell you why I did it. When I started my degree, I did uh economics. After the first year, I wanted to go to America, when America was the nicer place to want to, anyone would want to go to at the time, and uh I ended up with a sales job, door-to-door selling. I didn't know what it was. And I'd already done so much martial arts by then, so I was 21, 22 at this time. And um when I got hired, they gave us training, they gave us manuals, etc. And I was just flabbergasted, I was going to America. And when I arrived, we had a week's full of training, and I was so more busier paying attention to the weather, the partying, and everything else, that I really did not pay attention to the training. So we went out selling door-to-door. I was working in a place called Flint, Michigan, and I sold a few books, but after a week I just quit, I gave up. Now, at this point, I'd never been a quitter, I'd never given up on anything, especially with the martial arts background. So I came back on the way back from Michigan to New York, where I was gonna fly back, it was a very long Greyhound bus journey. I had my Walkman at the time, I was listening to the motivational tapes, I was reading the books. First of all, I thought, oh my goodness, had I followed instruction, I could have made a killing here. I would have made some serious amount of money for a student, number one. Number two, I listened to the motivational tape and I thought I love these guys. One day I want to be a motivational speaker. Fast forward to right now, for the last couple of decades, I've done exactly that. I've spoken and presented to over a quarter of a million teenagers, students, plus adults. On top of that, I've held all the retreats, etc. So I've become the very thing I was inspired by. And on top of that. That my business, which is a recruitment business in the IT sector, tech sector, I get to speak to colleges and universities where a lot of these techie students are, and most of them are introverted and they so relate to me. When they hear me speak and I share some stories and some ideas, they go, Oh my God, you mean I could be lucky. You mean when they hear that story? Because it's relatable to them. We assume they're geeky, they're knowledgeable, they're very clever, leave them to it. Oh my god, they they go through so much internal pain and suffering simply because they do not fit in. So the things that led to my failure, not achieving the results in selling door-to-door, not doing the training, ended up me after my degree, not being having an economist or a stockbroker, but actually saying, you know, let me just give this selling a try, at least prove to myself for a couple of years I can do it. And then once I started doing it, I was hooked.

Anita Mattu 32:11

So when you were struggling in those early months, what was the single courageous daily action that began to shift everything for you?

Excellence, Passion And Transferable Discipline

Harun Rabbani 32:20

There's a couple of things. When my managers were trying to motivate me to get results, they were saying, Hey Haru, you know, you can achieve this amount of money and that amount of money. And I'm like, not interested. You know, because if I'm number one, I'm gonna earn the highest amount, whatever that amount is. That was not enough to motivate me. You know what motivated me was I was selling to doctors, and they're very, very clever people compared to me at that time. And I thought to myself, okay, what am I really doing? What is my purpose here? And I was asking those questions, you know, in my mid-20s. What was my purpose? What was the point of what I'm doing besides the results? And I realized I'm saving lives. Here's how the equipment that I was selling was enabling doctors to sell you, save more lives more effectively, more efficiently. So the people who are my customers, my clients, were actually the patients. So the courageous thing for me to do is just remind myself, what am I here for? What am I doing? And as soon as it came to, you know, I have that wanting to at that time, wanting to be the hero. I don't have that so much now. Wanting to be the hero, I wanted to save lives. And you know what? That helped me deal with so many blockages that came along the way, obstacles. There's that. But the other thing was it's actually a visualization. I would turn up to a hospital, and I would sit in my car for between three and five minutes, do a little breathing, slow deep breathing, and I didn't know about any of the meditation techniques at this point. I wasn't even in that game at this stage. I would do some breathing techniques, and then I'll envisage, I'll walk through in my mind how the process would be when I go to the hospital. The there's one particular hospital, Edith Cavell Hospital in Peterborough. Edith Cavell is a famous nurse, a bit like France Nightingale. So I turn up to the hospital, the I'm in the operating theatre, and the doctor would be using the equipment, and even though he's got a mask on, I can see through his mask that he's smiling, he's looking to the nurses, the assistant uh registrar, the senior registrar, the doctors basically, and they're all happy. And the doctor ends up saying to me afterwards, Haroon, this is exactly what we've always needed. We need to order it now. Now, that particular hospital, I'd been in so many times and they didn't do anything, but I did that one time with this new doctor, and this hospital who bought nothing for the longest time, all of a sudden they said, Yep, and then a few weeks later we have a £25,000 order. My target was about £30,000 a month. One hospital of £25,000. So the courageous thing was knowing what the end result looks like. It might not work out that way, just to let you know, a lot of the times it doesn't. Knowing what the end result looks like, and just being embracing that, just just taking a couple of minutes, anything between three and five minutes timeout, and see walking through in your mind what does this look like when it works well? And if it doesn't work well, it doesn't work well. And you know what? Even when I go in and speak on stage, whether I'm speaking to 30 people or several thousand people, I do the same technique. I imagine I go on to stage just before and as if light is beaming out of my heart, and it's almost like hugging everybody and embracing love. And you know what? I hosted some of the biggest conferences with some of the biggest names, and the person who got the most amount of engagement, actually, even though they were very good and famous, it was me. I'm the one who got simply because of that simple state change and energy change, and that sense of purpose, when your purpose is bigger or your calling is bigger than your fears, then your fears are just they'll don't be down the side, they'll kind of you know nag at you. But you know what? That's how you step into that space of encouragement.

Anita Mattu 36:22

I love it. I love everything you're saying. That's really brilliant. And I think there is a myth about building it from the outside, it's all about the inside. Because you teach that confidence isn't something you have, it's something you build. Can you explain what the process actually looks like?

Daily Courage And The 1 Percent Rule

Harun Rabbani 36:44

Okay, so if listeners, viewers haven't heard anything, please listen to this bits. Because if applied, you have to apply it, it will change your life. There are several C's, and we can do a bit of a count on this one. Confidence is the final result. So leave confidence alone, it's not in your hands. Let's focus on what in your hands is in your hands. Number one, I already touched upon it. Have clarity, be clear about your goal. Clear about what you're trying to achieve. And it might be a goal or it might be a process, it might be something that's ongoing. And remember, you might have an end goal, which is three months, six months, twelve years away, but you've got a micro version of that goal today. So be clear of that goal distance, but every day of what you need to achieve by today. Clear means what does it look like in your mind's eye? What does it feel like as you're doing it, as you're achieving it? What does it sound like? Are there people saying, hey, well done? Like in the case I mentioned in Edith Cavell Hospital, doctors saying this is exactly what I want. So those are the words I'm hearing in my head. What are you telling yourself? Are you saying to yourself, you know, if you're a man, you're the man? Or are you saying, yeah, I did it? Yeah, for me, I d I, you know, it was very much like, yeah. That's exactly what I expected. So what's going on in your head? What's those? So just think visual. How do I what do I how does it look like? Like a moving image. Kinesthetic, what does it feel like physically, emotionally? Are you related? Are you energized? What does it sound like? What does it smell like? So when I cook food, I think, okay, what's it gonna smell like when it's absolutely perfect? And obviously when it comes to food, what does it taste like? In the case of you just got a valve hospital and you can't smell it or taste it, but you can smell that oh, it's a clinical environment, you know, they disinfect it, so it smells like that. Um but when the result is achieved, I can I like peppermint tea, I can smell the smell of peppermint, aroma of peppermint tea and the taste of it as well. So now you've got every aspect of your nervous system colluding with you, collaborating with you. So that's the first step is to be clear about your goal. Second step, this is one that a lot of people don't even think about. How committed are you to that goal? How badly do you want it? So, how do you know you're committed to the goal? Well, you'll know you're committed because you're taking action, but there's a step before that. Your commitment is why am I doing this? Why should I do it? So, for example, let's say I've got a goal of getting my book published and it's gonna be launched in July 2026, raising titans. That's a working title. The word titans will be in there. So, how committed am I to my goal? Well, first of all, long before I even started researching it, I decided, okay, let me get in touch with the people I want to interview. Let me get in touch with the publisher. And it's gonna, it's not a mainstream publisher, it's a hybrid model. So I'm gonna have to cough up the money, but at least I own all the rights. So make a list of all the things that are answering the question, why should you do this? Well, why should I do it? Will be things like with that without one book, I can, you know, as I helped impact on quarter of a million lives over the last 20 years at schools. Well, I can do that in a year through the book. Should they read it? Of course. What would happen in every teacher had one book across the UK, maybe the world, but at least the UK, every teacher referred to that book or chapters in that book to their students, just picked one of the stories and inspired them. Wow. Yeah, I could reach so many more people. So you've got your clarity commitment. Why, why, why? Next step. This is the easiest step, believe it or not. And it is, we've talked about it to death earlier on, which is courage. How do you apply it? Every morning, wake up, choose to, just do it. And like at Nike said, just do it. You know, it if I encourage you to fail, but fail micro fails, it's okay to fall over and say, okay, that hurt, but I'm gonna get up and do it again. All you need is to do, have courage every day to do only one step towards that goal. Or if you're doing several steps in the day, you just need just to turn up and just do that one thing and then the next thing. So in martial arts, for example, first step was just turning up to the class on time. Next step was following the instructions. Next step was making sure I don't miss any count, you know, the count in terms of press-ups and the setups and so on. And so by doing having the courage to do just the next little step, not big step, little step. Every day, what do you think is going to happen? So let me give you an example. I'll use a bit of mathematics. If you could improve, Anita, if you could improve 1% a day, every day for 365 days. So after 365 days, how much would you have improved?

Anita Mattu 42:01

Yeah. 365%.

Harun Rabbani 42:04

You would think.

Anita Mattu 42:05

Yeah.

Harun Rabbani 42:06

But there's something called compounding.

Anita Mattu 42:08

Yeah.

Harun Rabbani 42:09

If you take your condition now or your situation now, your performance, your effectiveness, whatever it is, and you improve by 1%. Tomorrow, after improving by 1% and you go for another extra 1%, you're trying to improve 1% over 101% of today. And so over time, get this. By the end of the year, if you improve by 1%, and I get you know you're not you're gonna have off days, but let's pretend for a moment. By the end of the year, you would have improved 3,800%. Wow. So if someone's studying right now and you're getting grade D's, I can promise you, if you put your mind to it, the strategies, and you improve only 1% a day every day, 365 days of the year, you will get a grade A by the or A star or whatever the grade numbers are nowadays. I can't keep up with it. I don't go into schools, I don't even bother trying. If you're trying to improve your relationship, what if you did just something 1% better? Only 1%, don't do 10%, just do 1%. Because if you do 10% today, you're gonna be exhausted. You can't do 10% day in, day out. Just do 1% of where you are right now. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. That's how you get to a tightened level of achievement. Imagine applying that to your health, your wealth, your relationship, all aspects of your life. Where would you be? Where would you know and you're remember you said about confidence? Confidence is an outcome. So doing that courage, the courageous step, you develop competence skills, basically. You don't learn a bike until you get on the bike. You have the courage to get on the bike. Your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, somebody's there to encourage you. So this isn't where someone from outside says, hey, you can do it. I'm here. You're safe, I'll protect you. So it's good to have somebody there. You don't have to have like most of my life, I've never had anyone to encourage me. I just got on with it. Um, I don't know, I'm a bit weird like that. But it's good to have people around you. So it's good to have mentors and coaches and you know, uh circle of friends who are there to support you and hold you accountable. So let me go back. Clarity, number one, commitment, number two, courage number three, competence number four. When you've do enough competence, the confidence turns to capability, meaning you're able to do it, you're capable of doing it. And the fifth one, the fifth element is the result. Confidence. There's your loop. You keep on rinsing. And the only thing you need, once you've passed the clarity and the commitment stage, the only thing you need on a day-to-day basis is courage. It's okay to have fear. If you didn't have fear, you won't need courage. So be happy with having fear because it gives you an excuse to be courageous.

Anita Mattu 45:04

Absolutely brilliant, and thank you for explaining it so well, Arun. That is really great. But here's the thing: some people listening may feel paralyzed by fear or self-doubt right now. And what small actionable step can they take today to moving forward?

Breathing, Body, Food And Anxiety

Harun Rabbani 45:24

You know, the thing with fear is it does sound like courage if you listen to the heart rate variability of it. So there are certain things you can do to manage fear. And fear, if you notice fear I love the acronym false evidence appearing real, it's all to do with perception. And then when you're in a fearful state, notice how you breathe. It's usually gonna be shallow breath and it'll usually be very rapid. And as it gets more rapid, we call it anxiety, and then anxiety attack or panic attack. So, number one, learn how to breathe. Here's a technique I'm gonna give you, which is gonna be absolutely brilliant. And but let me explain it. When most people breathe, we breathe in a ratio of we breathe in for a certain amount, we breathe out for a certain amount, and hold for a certain amount. That's the natural way. Here's what people do they breathe in for a count of two on average, they'll breathe out slowly for a count of three, and they'll hold for one. Yeah, that's kind of borderline panic. So we need to change that. So here's what you do, and you always breathe in through your nose if you can. You know, uh some people have to breathe through their mouth because of uh obstruction in their nose. So you breathe in for a count of four slowly, not not in one rapid breath intake. So you breathe in slowly for four, you breathe out through your nose slowly for six, and then you hold with nothing inside of you for two, so nothing in there. If you can practice that on a regular basis, you are how you're activating something called your parasympathetic nervous system. So your nervous system is divided into two or the autonomic nervous system, which is divided to sympathetic, nothing to do with sympathy, and parasympathetic. Sympathetic is all about fight, flight, survival, activation. Parasympathetic is about rest, digest, calm, relax, and even sleep. So when you are in fearful mode, your sympathetic nervous system is hyperactivated. When you're in parasympathetic mode, your relaxation, your uh your body's more relaxed. I shouldn't have said when you're more relaxed, your parasympathetic nervous system is activated. So that breathing technique, breathing in for four, out for six, home for two, activates the parasympathetic nervous system. This is how you if you can practice that for five minutes in the morning, five in the evening, it'll give you a more chilled out day as opposed to scary day. And at night time it'll help you to sleep better. There's lots of other techniques I can share with you. If you find it difficult, very simple, just practice. So that will do that, but then also notice your body language as well. If you're all hunched up, think about people who are depressed looking downwards, hunched up, then what's that gonna do? It's gonna collapse your lungs. So just take your shoulder back. And so if you're somebody who is very fearful for whatever reason, breathing techniques, and I strongly recommend yoga for most people, men and women, by the way. But if you're going through menopause, even more so, because in menopause you've got a lot of activation of the sympathetic nervous system, and going to do HIIT exercises in a high-intensity interval training, doing that and cardiovascular actually only adds to it. So you want to relax yourself more. So I would strongly recommend yoga, tai chi, qigong for menopausal women, but generally for everybody. And if you're not menopausal, you know, men all women, well, obviously, men don't get menopausal, gandroposal. Um definitely do physical exercise because that will help toward you developing confidence because it it kind of helps you to develop your breathing more, and the fact that your body's a bit more stronger, all of that helps. Just doing the physical thing, and also the other thing is food. What kind of food are you eating? If it's food that gives you the runs, foods that give you smelly air coming out the other end, it's not good for you. If it's junk food, processed food, highly sugar food, all of those things will make you more anxious when you don't even know it.

Anita Mattu 49:57

Wow. It and it's so true with uh what everything you're saying there, you really can. The little improvements, like even like you said, the one percent, it would do so much better. Even your health, the breathing, the eating, you know, everything. And that kind of just goes lovely into my next question. Because you've developed and built a framework around nine areas of your life. How did this model come about and why did you go beyond the traditional seven?

The Nine Relationships Model

Designed For Greatness And Focus

Harun Rabbani 50:35

The traditional seven, so for those of you who probably don't possibly don't know, um, is your it's it's all about developing they talk about work-life balance and do stuff for your mind, do stuff for your body, your family, finances, work, uh, contribution or social impact and that kind of stuff, spirituality. I think I've covered the seven there. Um, so what I've found though is there's a number uh several elements busy that that are missing. So, for example, let's go back to the physical. We talked about the physical. So paying attention to your physical, the trouble is some people pay attention just to their physical body, the exercises, the gym, the yoga, whatever. And others pay attention just to the food. The trouble is, say, for example, if you pay attention just to one and you're neglecting the other, you're gonna be stuck in a cycle. So if someone's got diabetes, for example, and I've worked with lots of people with diabetes, the big issue they have is food. Big issue is that they have the big issue is weight issue. And another issue is that they're eating the wrong foods or too much quantity or too frequently. So, what you've got to do is start from scratch and say, okay, let's take a step back. What is the what are these seven areas? And I look at it and go, actually, with physical, there's a physical exercise in an area in itself, and there's a nutritional side, which is a different area. So the way I say it is, what are your nine relationships? So let me explain in my terms. What is your relationship with your intellect, your mind? Meaning, are you the kind of person who's researching, learning, spending half an hour, an hour, reading books, listening to audiobooks, making notes, not sitting in front of Netflix? You know, I've got a family member who says, Oh, you know, you know, you should watch Netflix, this is on, and that's on. I don't even have a damn TV. I haven't got time for it. I've got too much drama going on in my life. So, what is the relationship? And you know you've got a good relationship. Just imagine if you have got a good relationship with someone you're in love with, you're gonna think about them, you're gonna obsess with them, you're gonna spend time, you're gonna feel energized. What are you doing with your own brain, your own mind? How are you developing that? It's number one. Second relationship: what's your relationship with your physical body? Are you the couch potato or are you somebody who's getting enough sleep? It's probably one of the most important elements at the right time. Your body doesn't heal unless you're asleep between 10 p.m. onwards. Your brain does not do its healing after midnight or before 10. So you need to be asleep between 10 and 12, or actually 9, I should say. So at the latest 10. So, and the exercises that you're doing, are you just sitting behind the desk all day? Are you stretching out? Are you doing squats in between your uh interviews? So, what's your relationship with your body? Is it a toxic one? Is it a negligent one? Or is it a harmonious loving relationship? Because you can't say I love my body if you don't actually act on it. Next element is nutrition. You might be physically fit, and then if you are feeding yourself junk food because you've jumped on the next fat diets, which don't work, majority of diets don't work anyway. You look at that and you say, Is this really feeding my body? Well, 80% of your immunity comes from your gut biome. Are you feeding your gut biome? When we're having sugar cravings, it's not you most of the time, it's your parasite saying, feed me. So are you feeding them or are you feeding your good bacteria? 80% of your immunity comes from your gut biome. Are you feeding food that will improve your brain health, your heart health? So think about the food you're eating. What should you not be eating? And it's up to you. So if you eat it, it's not none of my business. Are you eating processed food? Very bad for you on many levels. Are you eating sugary foods very bad for you? Are you eating nine times a day, you know, little bits? Not good for you. Unless you have IDHD, you might need to have little snacks. But for generally, you should be eating no more than two times a day. 40-50 years ago, when most people didn't have fruit freezers, you know, your food, you'd only have what you need, right? And you'd only eat during mealtimes. So there's your relationship with the nutrition and the relationship with the physiological physical movement. Then you've got your relations, so they're the things within yourself, of course. Then let's talk about a very important element, your spirit. Now you might believe in a God, you might not believe in a god, you might be a Muslim, you might be a Hindu, you might be a Sikh, you might be a Christian, doesn't matter, you might be an atheist, doesn't matter. What is your relationship with a higher power? Because there's a power bigger than you, and if you you're probably not listening to this show if you are someone who doesn't actually believe in some level of higher power. So if you're a Muslim, are you praying five times a day? If you're a Christian, are you going to your church? Because apparently England's a Christian country. How often are you going to your church? Are you going every single Sunday? Are you going to mass? So, and I'll come to the negative side of it. It's very important to understand the negative and the positive. So develop that relationship. If you're an atheist, are you going into nature, spending time with nature, appreciating nature, appreciating the earth? So there's that next relationship, your spirit. The next one is your money. Money's a tough one, and and it's a struggle for me. I have to work on it constantly. So how is your relationship with money? If money comes in, is it gone because you've have to spend it? And I get that. Some people have to because they're not earning that much. And I respect that. It's a very horrible time economically right now. But where are you spending your money? Are you spending even if you're on job seekers' allowance benefits? Can you possibly save one pound a week? Because saving that one pound a week will nurture that relationship. Investing it. Saving doesn't mean saving so I can buy a Christmas present. Saving means you're really investing. Let me give you clarity. Investment means either you invest in education for yourself, so it's a personal development thing. So you're learning a skill for work or business. You're uh this is saving money, investing is investing in stuff like could be a bank, you know, which is I think is the worst savings to be honest, or shares, or I'm not a fan of crypto because I don't know enough of it, but crypto or shares or whatever. So it really depends on your financial situation. At the least, everyone can save at least one pound a month. Make it to one pound a day. If you've got more money, make it two pounds a day. If you got more money, make it five pounds, make it ten pounds. So, what's your relationship with money? When money comes into your life, do you just throw it away and go, I'm gonna splash out? Or you go, hey, let me just hold on to this for a little while and let me let it flow. It has to flow because when you flow, you allow the next lot to come in. So, how's your relationship with money? Now let's talk about very, very critical relationship, your relationship with your family, very specifically. How's your relationship with mom and dad? But how was it when you were a little boy or little girl growing up? If you've got, let's say as a guy, if I have a toxic relationship with my mother, she's my significant female person in my life. So then my default mode from growing up would be toxic relationships with other females, but especially the ones who become significant, in other words, partner, wife, whatever terminology you want to use. And it'd be the same for the father. So luckily for me, I've got the most amazing relationship with mother. Doesn't mean I won't enter toxic relationships, it just means my default mode is to be kind, compassionate, supportive, protective. You know, we we came to this country when I was little, I was, you know, my dad was always at work before the takeaway business. And so I developed that protective energy. And so that's the natural energy I'll carry on into other areas of your life. So the next element is work. Are you working? Are you living to work? Are you working to live? Because the reality is, first of all, is I think the way we work is absolutely nonsense. Upside down, back to front, wrong way around. Why? Because work is meant to allow other aspects of your life. But if your majority of your day is taken up by work, in essence, all of your day, because guess what? If you're working nine to five, you're preparing, getting ready to go to work, you're going to work, and you're coming from work, you know, like decompressing, and then before you know it, the night's over. Five days a week. The system's broken, it needs to change. So here's my recommendation. Yes, find a job that you're passionate about. Develop a spill where you're not good, you're the best at it. You don't have to be the best. Just develop a spill where you aim to be the best at it. Become the go-to person in that area. And I and it applies. I know it because I've applied it. I know it because I mentor young leaders and they're applying it, and it works. I know it because I've applied it. Well, my sons have applied it into their lives and they're doing phenomenally well. So, very simple. When I did martial arts, and I'm speeding up only because there's so much to say, and I'm going to squeeze it in. So if you look at entirety, like say martial arts, for example, I knew hundreds of techniques. But the things I realized watching the best of the best, they only had one or two techniques. So I mastered the one or two techniques, and the very same techniques, which even the opponent could predict what I'm going to do, I'd still beat them with it. And it's the same with medical sales. I had my first company, 800 products. I got to know about 10 of them really inside out, of which I was the best in that company. My last company I worked for, 3,000 products, of which I only knew two products inside out, back to front. Guess what? Globally, I was the best. Um in my team, in the whole company, I was consistently getting 150 to 160% every single month of the monthly target. My nearest competitor within the team were getting 90, 95, sometimes 100, but usually below 100. And my targets kept getting growing bigger and bigger. And the company even said to me, Oh, we've just calculated your car your target wrong. I'm like, No, mate, you don't get it. I'm a fighter. I'm here. Yeah, to break records. And so, what is your relationship? Now, you might be in a job already and think I don't have passion in the job. Yes, you do. Find the elements of your job that you're passionate about. Now, for me, I love interviewing and being interviewed. I do more interviewing than anything else, but I particularly love interviewing. As you can see, I can talk non-stop. So find that one element that you're passionate about and then embrace those other elements that you don't like. Embrace it, say, okay, I don't like this crap. Let me just get it over and done with. Develop that passion. Become so hot at it that you become a master. So that's your relationship with work. Let's talk about the other relationships. People talk about contribution, making a difference, feeding the poor. We need to take that one step forward. Here's what I found from my research for the interviews. Uh sorry, my research, here's what I found in my research for my book, Raising Titans. I found that every single person who's made a massive difference on the planet and for themselves start off from serving others. You see, when you when your vision is so big because you're serving others, your own life, your own job becomes a bit of a walk in the park. So you can combine it, but preferably something separate. So for example, so you can work in any aspect of life and think, okay, who can I serve? Is it the homeless? Is it single mothers? Is it people who are going through domestic violence? Who are the people who I can give some kind of solid support or something that I can contribute to humanity itself? And then the final element, the ninth element, and I'll summarize them in a minute, by name, is the planet. We have a relationship with the planet. Here's the thing. Right now, we cannot afford not to have a relationship with the planet. Absolutely. By 2050, the country of my birth, well, if things go the way they are, 60 or over 60% of the country will be underwater permanently. That's like millions and millions of people will turn to be refugees, or you know, no other option, they're gonna be refugees for other countries. It's gonna affect the whole globe. That's just one country, Bangladesh. Then there's lots of other things happening regarding climate. Now, yes, there's a lot of stuff going on which I think is BS, but you've got to think, what can I do? Now, if you're not working on the larger scale and think, what can I do to help preserve the planet? So, for example, beef, I'm not vegan, I think, just to let you know. Beef, for example, is one of the greatest producers of carbon emissions. It's not the greatest, by the way, it's one of the greatest. So if you're eating argument's sake, beef every single week um four times a month, just cut it out for once a month. Or if you're eating, let's pretend seven days, just cut it, not eat it for once a week. And then how about stuff like plastic bottles? Instead of buying, sorry, water companies, instead of buying plastic water, you know, like water in water bottles, get yourself a filter. It's a bit more expensive, but it's permanent. Yeah, yes, you gotta send it's um replace the filter system and get yourself a bottle, a glass bottle, or one of those BPA-free ones that are permanent that you can hold on to. So things like the amount of rubbish I see trash people put out. Stop putting out so much trash. You can recycle stuff. You know, when I used to live in the countryside, I in the household we would have a small box, recycling box, and the only thing that would be there once a month, it's not even full, was maybe orange peels and lemon peels. Everything else got recycled. We didn't have anything to put out to the bin simply because we recycled everything. So even little things. Now I'm not gonna go on about all of this because it's a big, big, big area. So the relationship, my friends, or my friend watching or listening, is develop number one, your relationship with your mind, your nutritional body, your physical body, relationship, nurture that relationship with your significant family members, mom, dad, if they're not alive, then even in spirit, but with your partner, your children, they're the most significant ones. Relationship with your work, relationship with money, with spirit, divine, whatever it means to you, with serving others, serving others beyond your work, and then finding with the planet, there you're finding important relationships. And what happens is people talk about self-worth. If you want to build self-worth, you develop relationships in all areas. I found that when people say, Oh, I've got low self-worth, they usually have low self-worth in one or two areas. Depression happens when you've got low self-worth, meaning poor relationships with four, five, or six of these areas. Anxiety happens when it's two or three. So can you see all of these are kind of preventable? Yes, I know there's biological conditions, I get that. But just develop this attitude of gratitude towards all these nine areas. It doesn't mean you have to do all nine things like crazy, like maniac every single day. But certainly at least during the week, take your partner or your parents out for dinner or walk in the park, do something together. It doesn't have to involve money. Pay attention to your relationship with money. So the idea is where attention goes, energy flows. Make sure you're watering every single one of these nine relationships on a weekly and certainly monthly basis.

Anita Mattu 1:06:45

Wow. That's absolutely phenomenal. Thank you so much, Arune, for sharing that. And there's so much information there. People just listening to that part of this podcast will help your life improve phenomenally. Arun, for someone listening right now who's ready to stop waiting for confidence and start leading themselves, what's the one courageous truth that you'd want them to carry forward?

Harun Rabbani 1:07:14

I'm getting shivers down my spine. Just hearing the question, because to me that is a sign of what I'm about to say is so much truth. Every single human being, so you listening, watching, you are designed for greatness. You are designed for greatness. And the the mismatch, the reason why people don't achieve the greatness is distractions. So it's almost like if you believe in a god or universe, whatever terminology you want to use, it's almost like God's having a bit of a tease and saying, right, how badly you do you want this? And then you've got another side throwing you distraction, saying, Oh yeah, look, shiny object here, oh look, television program here, oh look, opportunity here, oh look, we can buy some clothes and go on it, etc. So have your dream, know that you are meant to achieve it. Now you it's highly unlikely you'll achieve it in the path you were going, because that's the case for everybody. You know, it's a river that meanders, it's never a straight path. So keep that in mind. And all you need to accept embraces you are, ask yourself, just say, why do I, in a very positive way, why do I deserve greatness in my life? Meaning to achieve greatness. Why do I? Why is it so easy for me to achieve this greatness? And then just discipline those distractions, get rid of them, whatever, whether it be social media, television, etc., the wrong kind of people. Surround yourself with people who are more achieved, highly achievers. Sorry, surround yourself with people who are achieving more than you are so that you can feel that vibration of what it feels like. You don't want to be, you want to surround yourself with people who challenge you, who support you. Not yes men, but people who challenge and support you, but people who are better than you. In my martial arts world, every single training partner I had when I started martial arts, by the way, five foot six I was, I was only a kid, my training partner, six foot six, I was seven and a half stone. I don't know what that's in kilos from the top of my head. He was 15, 16 stone. But guess what? By working and training, working out with someone exponentially bigger, twice as size as me, really, by weight, what it meant was everything else became a lot easier. So, so believe that you are meant to. You are meant for greatness. The greatness could be something small, it might be something big, but it's your greatness. Don't compare to others. It's just you on you. What if that greatness means? Somebody might, their greatness might mean knitting a cardigan. I bring knitting because I mentioned earlier, knitting a cardigan for the grandchild. Somebody's greatness might mean traveling the world, somebody's greatness might mean speaking on stage for the first time. It does not matter, it's what your greatness is. But when you achieve one, how you do one thing with excellence, you could do everything else with excellence. So you rinse and repeat. That's how you go forward.

Where To Find Haroon And Weekly Meditations

Anita Mattu 1:10:23

Absolutely love that. That's so profound. Yes, absolutely. So, Harun, where can the listeners find you online? Your books, your website?

Harun Rabbani 1:10:34

So the best place to find me, if you are interested in anything that I'm doing, if you if you want to follow um best places for me on probably YouTube. So Haroon Rabani, uh just type in Haroon Rabani on YouTube, you'll find me. I don't think there's another Haroon Rabani on YouTube. So YouTube. If you're from the business world on LinkedIn, they're the two uh areas. Um I'm gonna create a and I say I'm gonna create, I'm gonna create a little quiz, a little scorecard for your listeners and viewers, anyone who wants to take it, to look at which aspects of their life that they can work on. And one of the things that I'm a massive fan on, massive fan on, is meditation. So for the last eight years, I've been running a regular Monday night meditation. It's a paid group, but it's a very tight paid group. It's a Monday night healing meditations. If you're if you're interested in any of those aspects of your life that I've mentioned, even though it might not sound like it's related to work, trust me it is. So I take people through specific meditations, every single one is different, every single Monday night. It's only half an hour at 9 p.m. UK time, and it has a remarkable effect of resetting people every single week. And the key thing is if you go back to what at the beginning of what we said, which is find that authentic self, stay in that authentic place. If you can do that on a regular basis, that would have an amazing profound effect on your life. And this is what we do with the meditation is that it's a reset button. Allow yourself to give yourself this me time. So if you want to try that quiz out, then it'll be in the show notes with uh this podcast.

Anita Mattu 1:12:18

That's amazing. Uh Harun, thank you so much for sharing all your insightful wisdom and knowledge with us today. And by doing so, you have helped so many other people make a difference. And myself, it's been phenomenal. I really want to acknowledge you for that. Harun Rabani, we are all about create the courage to be fearless podcast. What is your definition of courage?

Harun Rabbani 1:12:43

Definition of courage is very simple. Daring to be you. That's it. Dare to be you. You don't have to don't try to be like someone else. Just be you. Imagine if everyone did that. How the world would be. Most people are a bit messed up. I'm talking about horrible people, not not your listeners, or their life's in a bit of a messed up situation because they dare to be themselves. You might even say, well, it's by being me that things are messed up. It's okay. You don't need anyone's approval. You don't. You don't need to people please. You don't have to upset people, just be you. It's been kind, be compassionate, be caring towards you, and as a result, towards others. We need a bit more of that in the world.