Create the Courage to be Fearless

From Survival To Self-Authority: Becoming Unrecognisable | Kelly Kingston EP 209

Anita Mattu Episode 209

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What if real authority doesn’t come from working harder — but from becoming clearer about who you are?

In this episode, we’re joined by Kelly Kingston — The Wellness Woman, film producer, and retreat creator — to explore identity shift, nervous system regulation, and self-led leadership.

Kelly shares how she rebuilt self-trust from rock bottom using mirror mantras, embodied belief, and simple daily actions that create lasting transformation. We unpack her 7-day “Be Unrecognisable” challenge and the three defining questions that move you from survival to stability, from self-leadership to grounded authority.

We also dive into:

  • Nervous system healing and identity work
  • Feminine leadership and boundary setting
  • Turning personal growth into aligned business strategy
  • 12-month visioning and confidence-building habits

If you’re ready to stop hustling for validation and start leading from alignment, this conversation offers a practical and powerful roadmap.

Subscribe and share with someone ready for their next identity shift.

https://www.happyandwell.today

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I look forward to connecting with you Anita Mattu https://linktr.ee/AnitaMattu

Hitting Rock Bottom And Identity Loss

Kelly Kingston

I found myself as a single mum with two kids, on the pension, not working, drowning in my own thoughts. Who am I? Uh what am I gonna what am I doing? Having a narcissist partner.

Defying Doctors With A Natural Birth

Anita Mattu

Today's guest is Kelly Kingston, known as the Wellness Woman, a global film producer, immersive retreat visionary, and leader in self-led transformation. She brings lived wisdom from motherhood, reinvention, business leadership, and personal liberation to conversations about identity, conscious success, and what it truly means to back yourself. Welcome, Kelly. Oh, thank you so much. So, with that said, what is one of the most courageous things you've done? I've just read a little bit about you, but I'm sure, I mean, even in that little snippet, there's a lot to be said. So, can you possibly pick one?

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, absolutely. So, one of the biggest um challenges that I've faced in my whole entire life was when I became pregnant for the fourth time, and I was so determined that I really wanted to have my baby naturally for the first three. I was told by the doctors that I could never have a natural birth. And so I, you know, knew that I'm a woman and I have the ability to give birth naturally, and so I really literally focused every aspect of a holistic healing through my pregnancy with my my last daughter, and we ended up having a natural birth at home with our doula with in seven hours.

Anita Mattu

Wow. So why yeah, why did they say you couldn't have a natural birth?

Kelly Kingston

They just, yeah, I I I don't know. Nobody gave me an explanation, nobody said anything, only that you've had three Caesars now, and so you cannot have a natural birth.

Anita Mattu

Wow. That's interesting, yeah. Yeah, and well done to you for going ahead with what you you desired.

Kelly Kingston

I don't like being told what to do in there.

Anita Mattu

Oh wow, that's really interesting because you've done lots of interesting things. So tell me what brought on the wellness woman a global film producer. That's really interesting.

From Film Screenings To Wellness Work

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, so two different stories, and we'll start with the um global film producer first because that all ties into my wellness journey in wanting to. My wellness journey started well before I became a global um film producer, but it all kind of came together once I actually started getting myself out there in front of people. And uh what I did is I actually brought a film documentary screening business because I wanted people to feel um the story of somebody else's life and how they changed or made a change or supported somebody else's change in the world. And when you're sitting there and you're watching it, you can see it and you feel it and you hear it, and it's sort of like, oh my gosh, it's like a lived experience already, right? And so if somebody's on the cusp and they're going, I'm not 100% sure about this, watching a documentary really supports the motivation and inspiration for somebody to really believe in themselves, know that they can do it, somebody else has done it. And if they find themselves in a situation where, yeah, maybe it's just not the right time, it doesn't kind of shut it off for them, it's just not now. So um that all said, that led me down um the pathway of creating a uh women's circles, workshops, retreats, uh masterclasses, and a whole heap of other things that I really love doing. And so the wellness woman came from that because I brought a holistic educational platform that supported every area of your life, that then if anybody needed just to top something up, they would come and do one of my online courses, and then they were right, and then they could get on with their life. It wasn't a, oh my gosh, you need to stay with me for three months and get this done and this done and this done. We focus on meeting women where they're at in the present moment, support them through that process. They get in, do what needs to be done, they feel liberated, they feel good within themselves, they've shifted an inner compass that then they can then go on and start living their life the way that they choose to want to live it.

Anita Mattu

Yeah, I love that. I love that. It's really interesting. And like, do you only work with women?

Kelly Kingston

Um, I've uh my purpose and mission this year is only women. Um, I have worked with men in the past. There's uh a mission behind why I only want to work with women this year, and that's to support the woman in remembering who she is. And that's from an internal cellular perspective on raising the feminine vibration of our planet, humanity, to balance the feminine and masculine energies.

Anita Mattu

Yeah, we can really do with more of that, let's be honest.

Building The Wellness Woman Platform

Kelly Kingston

Can't we? Exactly. And I know it sounds like a very hairy, audacious kind of mission, but I just believe I have this a humanitarian heart from when I was as little as seven, as far back as I can remember. Really, you know, I was doing the 40-hour famine back then, um, watching the world in a different place from a different space, and not knowing what I could do. And the only thing I could do was do a 40-hour famine because I was so young. And then um, and then I've just grown into it, and that has never left me. Like it's just me. You know that, you know, how you have the the the self-talk shoulders, and it's like, hurry up and do it, hurry up, coming on. Oh, it's not the right time now. You've embodied it. Yeah, so I'm um I'm just doing life and uh wherever it leads me is where I'm going.

Anita Mattu

But that's great because like there's a part of you that you know this is your mission, you've got to do this, and you know, you're doing it because you believe in yourself, like you've just said as well.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah.

Anita Mattu

So who have you been? This is kind of a bit of a three questions in one, but let's just unpack this. Who have you been? Who are you done being, and who are you becoming?

Kelly Kingston

Okay, so who I am done being is the waiting woman. I'm done waiting around for somebody to give me that golden ticket, right? So now I am not the waiting woman. Who am I done being? I'm done being the tugboat, pulling other women through the rough the rough seas and and being that woman that you know everyone goes to, but nobody wants to pay you for because you have this soft part in your heart, and you go, oh my gosh, you know, it's so easy for me. You know, it's okay, don't worry about paying me and and all of that stuff. Um, and I'm done being her as well, and now I'm becoming the lighthouse. Okay, the lighthouse is it stands in one place, it shines it, shines its light so ever so bright for all the tugboats to come towards to be able to support the process of going, okay, what direction do you need to go in? Okay, so let's go in this direction. Okay, what direction do you need to go in? Let's go in this direction. So for me, right now, I am the lighthouse.

Anita Mattu

I can really see the picture clearly. I can I love your analogy. Yes.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah.

Anita Mattu

It is great to give that mental image as well.

Mission To Elevate Feminine Energy

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, and that all comes from um, so just recently this year, I've started to the Be Unrecognizable uh seven-day challenge. And so this is to support a woman in embracing uh coming out of survival mode, whether it's spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, or environmental. And so in the challenge, uh it and and this just appeared. It was like it was dropped in, like, you know, a baby falling out of a stork's mouth, going into a basket, right? And when I'm going through, I'm going through, oh my gosh, there's a profiling system here on day one. And then I've gone, oh my gosh. And then it all just fell into place. So the um the profiling that I just shared with you in um the descriptions are now part of the identity shift profiling tool that I actually use inside the be unrecognizable seven-day challenge for women to shift from who they thought that they were, who they're done being, and who they want to become. And so that's a three-part series. And so the first one is coming out of survival mode into stability. The second one is coming out of stability and coming into self-leadership, and then the third one is coming out of self-leadership and stepping into authority, and that doesn't mean you you're an authority, you have a book, and you become your own authority, you are really stepping in, you've got strong boundaries, you walk and you walk, you talk and you talk. Uh you uh just being exactly who you want to become.

Anita Mattu

And let's face it, who doesn't need that right now? Who doesn't want more of that if they've got some of that in their life?

Kelly Kingston

Exactly.

Anita Mattu

I mean, this is this is a year where a lot of people want to change and they don't just want change. Let me rephrase that word, they want transformation.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, they do want transformation, and so the the seven-day challenge gives them a little bit of okay, as soon as they identify who they've been, who they're done being, who they want to become, you can't unknow this. Yes, you can't unknow this when you recognize who this one is, you remember who she is because she's still implanted inside you, right? It's like she's been screaming and clawing her way from the inside out and going, Can you please listen to me? I'm here. Like, hello, knock, knock, knock, that internal knocking, um, and just going through the process. So any woman in any stage of her life, the be unrecognizable challenge that houses the identity shift with inside of it supports any woman in that recognizing, um, knowing, remembering space. And so you can be a high corporate, you can be a single mum, you can be a part-time employee, you can be anybody. This supports and meets you anywhere.

Anita Mattu

And the great thing about that is it's not adding more, it's dripping away. Yes, it's getting back to what who we originally are without all the noise, without everything that's been put on us. That's really the core of it, getting back to the core of you.

From Waiting Woman To Lighthouse

Kelly Kingston

Absolutely, and you know what? That is it's it's like coming back to basics. Like, we as women like to complicate the shit out of stuff. Really? Like, come on, like I I if there was something, oh my gosh, I can't remember who it was, but there was a lady, and I was talking to her, and um I can't remember, I think it was last week. Oh, that's right. It was one of my nannies that looks like that supports me with my my daughter homeschooling her on a Monday. And she wants to expand in her business, she's pivoting, she doesn't know what that looks like. And and I said to her, you know, um, and she explained to me what she wants to do. And I'm just like, well, why don't you collaborate with this organization that will then support you to enhance it? She goes, No, I want to do it by myself. I'm sort of like, you know, like I'm I'm all for doing it by ourselves for all the right reasons. But if you have to struggle and you're already working casually to then fully want to step into your purpose, I'm sort of like you know, let's put things into perspective here, really.

Anita Mattu

Yeah, and that's the key thing here. You know, look at the reality. Maybe it will be for a short period, it doesn't have to be forever.

Kelly Kingston

Exactly, it's a stepping stone, yeah. And I feel that for other women, like for me, oh my gosh, like when we did our conversation last week, it's sort of like how many times do I need to be burnt in marketing and sales, and how many other people do I need to pay? And what does that look like? I'm so I'm done. I am done. So now I'm just putting myself out there, doing what I've paid people to support me doing, but now I've just forced myself to go, okay, girl, let's do this, let's just get it in, get it done, and and um support the journey, and wherever that takes us, that's where we're going.

Anita Mattu

Yeah, because there's a great thing about having the support around you, having a team, because everyone's good at doing their bit, and delegating is great, you know, because it allows you to do what you're good at a hundred percent. And that goes into my next question here. What does backing yourself a hundred percent really look like?

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, it is not procrastinating, not sitting with the small stuff, knowing that you started this journey, now commit to it. That's backing yourself a hundred percent, and and and it's tiny steps, right? Like, um I've been in business for a lot of years, and I've done 10-year business plans, I've done even five-year business plans, three years and 12-month business plans. And the only one that's ever worked for me is a 12-month business plan because I do bite-sized pieces and it's achievable goals that I can then just go, oh my god, I'm I'm setting that goal, I'm achieving that goal, I'm setting that goal, I'm achieving that goal. That allows me to stay focused. Like, you know, if I'm to do a three-month or five-year business plan, I'm just like, and what do I do next?

Anita Mattu

Yeah, it's keeping it, yeah, it's keeping it real for you as well. Because we're all individuals, let's be honest. One does not fit all. Um, you know, we're not cookie-cutters, and that's the thing here. A lot of people, you know, in organizations where they want to help you, you know, they give you a formula, and it doesn't work because it's not for your needs, it's a pattern.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah.

Anita Mattu

And how do women move from survival patterns into self-leadership?

The Be Unrecognisable Seven-Day Challenge

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, so that's through identity, right? Identifying who you are. And it, you know, what I've asked this question a lot throughout my lifetime as a grown woman, as a mother, losing myself and not following my dreams as a mother because you're so caught up being a mum. Like I'm a mom of four. Uh, I have two eldest elderly stepchildren, and I have four grandchildren, I have a husband, I have my own interests, I have my own business, um, I don't cook as much as I'd like to. Uh so many different things. So just do it.

Anita Mattu

Yeah. I mean, there's a lot, obviously, we have a lot of responsibilities as well, like you've just said the children, the grandchildren, partners, yes, and it's understanding you've got to look after your own needs as well. And as women, we are the best leadership on the planet because we manage to navigate all of that as well.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And they say, they say, give a job to the busiest woman because she'll prioritize it and she'll manage it, and she'll just squeeze it in there and get it done somehow. And that's and that's always been, you know, what I've offered in my life as a mum, as a businesswoman. Um, even me for my self-care journeys and knowing when I've had enough is to stop, go rest. I identify all of that in my life now. So the words for this year for me is identity, like identity, identify, identity, identify. When we can identify when we can identify, when we can identify that thing in your present moment to go, okay, do I need to do that now or later? Later. Do I need to do that now or later? Okay, I need to do that now. Get it up, power out.

Anita Mattu

I love your style. So you talk about this. So, what does it take to rebuild your life after hitting rock bottom?

Simplicity Over Struggle And Collaboration

Kelly Kingston

Good question. It's like there's so many different ways, and and like you said, we're all individuals, so I'm just going to be sharing lived experiences here because when I hit rock bottom, probably around about one of my rock bottoms was my worst one, was about 20 years ago. And I was in, I found myself as a single mum with two kids, um, on the pension, not working, uh, drowning in my own thoughts. Who am I? Uh, what am I gonna what am I doing? Um having a narcissist partner. Uh there were so many different things. And then, you know, and I don't like to really label things, but I don't know another word. But even thinking that is it me? And I am am I like, you know, it it it am I the cause of this? Is and that whole thing. And so for me, it was I came back to faith, faith within myself, not an external faith. Okay, I didn't give my power away to anyone, anything in any way, shape, or form, and I really had to put my hand on my heart and I prayed before I went to bed every night, and I gave thanks when I woke up every single morning, and then I just took baby steps. And because I didn't surround myself with a lot of people, because I had to really pull back from people that I thought were my friends that weren't my friends, that were just using me because they wanted me to do stuff and look after their children and stuff like that, is I couldn't have I I found it hard to not have a negative conversation, even with myself. So I had this idea of writing beautiful positive words and and and using my lipstick to start off with on the mirror. I I saw it somewhere, and so then I started writing, I love you, you know, you are amazing, don't give up on yourself, all those things. And then it kind of just stemmed out of my bathroom and then into my kitchen on the mirrors and then into my lounge room, and then like I looked in every single mirror, and there's positivity, positivity, positivity, positivity. So I just like literally forced it on myself wherever I look. So then that really supported the shifting in the mindset space. To then allow me to stop overthinking here and drop into my heart. And once I could actually stop and drop, and then and and then support the holistic aspects of what is that? Um, and how do we go there? And how do you change uh a pattern that you've been ingrained in? Like it's been taught and drummed into you all your life to then go, well, that doesn't serve me anymore. How do I change that? What does that look like? And so that's when I created the cycle um change your current life experience, which is a lifetime tool that allows women and men, but this year, women for me, um to do exactly what I said. There's cards in there, there's my second authored book, there's a vegetarian meal guide, a journal, a self-honouring agreement to honor your word and speak your truth, a jewelry range, candles, all sorts of different beautiful, luxurious items to come back to yourself and retreat back to yourself. And that's why I call it the retreat in a box.

Anita Mattu

That's absolutely beautiful. I can really feel your passion in that, and you know, going through that journey. And you did it, and you know, the way to do it, why not on a mirror? Because that's the one place you're reflecting about yourself, you see yourself, yeah, you get seen. So, yeah, love it.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, and the cards and the deck of cards are actually called the I see you cards with a mirror inside it.

Anita Mattu

Fantastic, really. Yeah, we'll get all your details later on, and yeah, that's really fantastic to buy.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, it is. It's a it's a it's a lifetime investment. Uh, and whenever you feel like you're drowning and you need to realign and reassess, and and you know, you don't want a coach or you don't want any anybody else to help you, it's the tool that supports you and meets you wherever you are. You can be any age, any stage, in any place in your life, and you then pull the cycle out because it's about supporting the next cycle of your life, and that's why it took me four years to create because I didn't want it to be a a one, once use off, you know, tool. I wanted it to be a lifetime of goodness that allowed the process of growth, right?

Anita Mattu

So, how do you build success without losing yourself? Because it can be a scary thing.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, yeah. So that's a really short answer. Stay true to yourself. Yeah, yeah. Don't lose yourself in the hype, don't lose yourself in any other space, just stay true to yourself.

Anita Mattu

So, what is you talk about self-led transformation? So, what is self-led transformation and why is it the future?

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, self-led transformation uh stems from the identity shift. Okay, so once you know where you've been, where you don't want to be, and where you want to be, okay, this supports yourself leading yourself through that pathway. And you can do the identity shift um right now, and then in six months' time, do it again, and then you will then be another profile because you've now shifted from where you were to where you want to be, and then that is self-assessing, self-identifying, and then self-leading.

Anita Mattu

I love that because yeah, we're evolving all the time. I mean, we're not the person we were yesterday, let's be honest.

Kelly Kingston

I know, right?

Backing Yourself And Bite-Size Plans

Anita Mattu

We've got the knowledge of different things, you know. Yeah, we are evolving every hour, every moment.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah.

Anita Mattu

I mean, when we started this podcast, I've evolved because I've learned so much from you.

Kelly Kingston

You know, I need I I hear, yeah.

Anita Mattu

How do identity and nervous system regulation affect business and leadership?

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, a good question. Another good question. So uh how it affects it is by a response or respond and how you act through those two um identities. When we react, we can really either react positively or negatively. When we respond, it could either be um positivity, positively or negativity. So in a response, I feel that a response is uh slowed down, like you are in more control when you respond to something instead of reacting to something. And when we react, it's like it's a like touching a hot plate. Oh my gosh, that's hot. You react it, you didn't respond. So when we respond, we're taking time to respond because we have the time to do so.

Anita Mattu

Yeah, that's uh simply but so effective. I like that. Yeah, yeah. Because like yeah, understanding as well. What did your personal journey teach you that no training could ever teach you? It's a big question, but you know, it's your personal journey.

Moving From Survival To Self-Leadership

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, what did my personal journey teach me that nobody or nothing else has taught me? That there's no one like me. Yeah. That I can I thought I needed to be someone else for someone to like me. It life taught me that, and and it all stemmed from um what do you want to be when you grow up? From our teacher to our parents to family, friends, whoever. And so from an early age, we're really taught to look outside of ourselves to be something other than ourselves. So the biggest thing that my journey has taught me is that I don't need to look outside myself to be anybody. I need to love myself and look within me to be myself. So I hope that answered the question because that kinda yeah, yeah.

Anita Mattu

That does. Yeah, yeah.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, that was a toughie, wasn't it?

Anita Mattu

Yeah, because it's your personal journey, and yeah, you know, we're all individuals and everything is different for each one of us, but yeah. Yeah. So tell me about your books. I love the title of the this first one, Naked Skin Deep.

Kelly Kingston

Issues in your tissues. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, yeah. So this book cannot be bought separately, it is actually bought with um the cycle. And the reason why I did it was because this is all about we hold our issues in our tissues underneath our skin, and that you know, we don't have to be naked, like we can visualize ourselves being naked uh with clothes on to be able to support the healing process, right? And so, um, yeah, I just really love how this supports um the interconnectedness from a cellular level to then um bringing it all in together through color therapy, the 13 energetic centers in turn, the divine interconnectedness, the chakra system, and 13 crystal jewelry ranges, and they all align with each other, the definitions, they all merge, they all come into their own reality to support the shift and the change, um, and coming out of the old cycle into the new cycle.

Anita Mattu

It's fantastic, honestly. And the book is available with, like you've just said, the cycle.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, within the cycle.

Anita Mattu

And your other book, your unlimited wellness business guide.

Rebuilding After Rock Bottom With Faith

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, so this is your ultimate wellness business guide. What frequency is your business vibrating at? And so I wrote this in 2017, um, uh being a wellness practitioner um of 25 years, and I really loved doing what I, you know, love doing in wellness centers and a whole heap of other things, supporting uh people from a holistic place. And but I wasn't any good at business and I didn't understand business, I didn't pass school. I I think I got a C in school and just passed, to be totally honest. And so when I met my husband 15 years ago, or maybe even a little bit longer, um he is a chatted accountant and an international business strategist. And so he taught me that everything that there was to learn about um business, uh banking, financing, and everything in between. And that allowed me to write a business planning guide to support the heart-based uh spiritual wellness practitioner, coach, entrepreneur, uh business owner, anybody that feels like they want to create a business plan of their own, but nobody's speaking their language. So I changed the terminologies and and I um pretty well much did it the same. Oh well, I did naked skin deep the same as this book through the 13 chakra system and business planning. And with this book, I have a essential oil blend with 13 crystals that are the same colours as the chakra, and then I had audio mantras that you listen to before you embark on each chapter to stop and drop. Get out of your head, get into your heart, and create the heart-based, purposeful business plan that you are bringing to the world.

Anita Mattu

That's really brilliant. Because here's the thing I love the fact that you've got a chakra system in it because more and more now you've got to be aligned from the inside out, even in business, it's not cutthroat anymore. You know, you've got to have heart in it.

Kelly Kingston

Yeah, you do.

Anita Mattu

Yeah, yeah. So if there was one key takeaway you want every listener to walk away with, what would that be?

Kelly Kingston

Oh my gosh. They're definitely uh the knowing where you've been, who you've done being, and where you want to be or who you want to be, that that is critical. Like some of my best work is bringing those three together to support the identity shift from the inside out. And the women that are coming through, completing the challenge, going through the identity shift process, bringing all the tools together are literally changing their lives. They and they and they you know what they're not looking back because they don't want to, but you literally you can't unknow and you can't unremember what you actually are going through right now. So going back would do you an injustice. Yeah.

Anita Mattu

Love that. So, where can the listeners find you online, your books, your website, Kelly?

Kelly Kingston

So, my business that I uh created is called Happy and Well, and that is H A P Y A N D W E D L L dot Today. Um, they can find everything there. They can find me on Facebook, Instagram, uh all X, um TikTok, LinkedIn, I'm everywhere.

Anita Mattu

That's great, and the links will be in the show notes. So, listeners do go ahead, connect, find out what Kelly's all about, and help get what you need, you know, for yourself. This is all about you. So, what's the most important thing that we didn't talk about? Is there anything we missed out in this conversation?

Kelly Kingston

I feel that to finish off this conversation, to find true love, and this is a real hot topic in some of the circles that I'm in currently with other women. They're going, you know what, my I know my man's out there waiting for me. Um, I just have to be patient. I'm sort of like, no, ladies, you need to unconditionally love yourself, look yourself in the mirror, know who you are, love every aspect of your being, and that's your your cupcake hips. If you have them, uh, you know, your every aspect of your body. Love who you are. When you can love who you are, you will bring in the right person that's gonna love every aspect of you just as much as you do.

Anita Mattu

Love it, absolutely love it. Thank you for sharing your insightful wisdom and knowledge with us today. And by doing so, I know you have helped so many others make a difference. I really want to acknowledge you for that, Kelly Kingston.

Kelly Kingston

Oh, thank you so much, Anita, and thank you so much for allowing me to be on your podcast and sharing um and all the brilliant questions. Amazing.

Anita Mattu

Oh, my absolute pleasure. And we are all about create the courage to be fearless podcaster. What is your definition of courage?

Kelly Kingston

My definition of courage would be if you can think it, you can do it. So go after it.