New Relationship Energy Fades And That Is Normal | S5 EP136 (FLASHBACK EP)

FLASHBACK EPISODE 4/11/24

We open with a ridiculous little “negotiation minute” over snacks and ASMR rules, and it turns into a surprisingly useful example of how boundaries actually get made in real time. From there, we dive into a rant that hits a nerve: why so many people grow up without any clear roadmap for relationship stages, then get judged for struggling when the honeymoon phase ends. We use language from Polywise and talk through symbiosis (New Relationship Energy) and differentiation, where the things you don’t share stop being cute and start demanding honest renegotiation.

We connect those relationship phases to kink, BDSM, and D/s dynamics because the pattern shows up fast when people hit that early frenzy, make big promises, and then discover a real mismatch in needs or limits. We also get into why definitions matter, how terms like SSC, RACK, and PRICK keep evolving, and why “being an educator” should come with the responsibility to explain concepts clearly. If you take classes, follow creators, or date in the scene, we share our best advice: vet your educators the same way you’d vet a play partner.

Then we go full chaos with FetLife’s ever-growing list of roles, talk solo bondage safety (timers, ice locks, exit plans), detour into bodily autonomy and politics, and close with a high-engagement rating game that reveals what we actually can’t live with in a partner. If you like candid banter with practical takeaways on negotiation, consent, relationship communication, and kink education, hit play, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave us a review. What phase do you think you’re in right now?

1/6/26

Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles? 

Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going! 

1/6/26

Transcript

SPEAKER_08 0:54

You're ridiculous. Should I get a nerd? No. Why? Chew your nerves. Fine, I'll use my drink. I had my chips right now. I had goldfish.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

I ran out.

SPEAKER_08 1:05

Chew it.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

I'll give you one if you don't do your drink. Which one? Ooh. You want nerd or a drink?

SPEAKER_08 1:10

Well, I need more than one.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

No, you only need one. Five. Five? Yeah. Three.

SPEAKER_08 1:15

It's gotta make it a minute.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Three.

SPEAKER_08 1:17

Four.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Three. I hate even numbers.

SPEAKER_05 1:19

Three and a half.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

There's no half. What do you think? You hate even numbers? I hate even numbers.

SPEAKER_05 1:24

What kind of neurodivergent person are you? They like even numbers. I hate even numbers. How do you hate even numbers?

SPEAKER_08 1:29

I have a problem with you hating even numbers.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

I hate even numbers.

SPEAKER_08 1:32

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

That's beyond.

SPEAKER_08 1:34

Nope. I need even two. I can't do odd numbers.

Snack Negotiation And ASMR Rules

SPEAKER_08 1:40

Four?

SPEAKER_02 1:42

If you like even numbers, I'll get yours. But you can't use your drink. But you touch this.

SPEAKER_08 1:45

O C D.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

You better not.

SPEAKER_08 1:49

I get four?

SPEAKER_02 1:50

You get four.

SPEAKER_08 1:51

I can't do my drink. I can drink my drink.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Not for ASMR. Not happy. You gotta choose one.

SPEAKER_08 1:58

I'll have to leave it all this in. There. Happy? I got four.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Yeah, four.

SPEAKER_08 2:01

Drink my drink normally.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

Normally? Don't you do it.

SPEAKER_08 2:05

That was a normal drink.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

Okay, uh.

SPEAKER_08 2:07

Welcome back, everybody. Um, leaving all that in or making it very short, but I'm leaving it all in. We had a very simple negotiation. That was our negotiation minute, and you guys got to hear what an example is.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Now that I'd be on board for negotiation minute before every episode.

SPEAKER_08 2:23

We could just find somebody to negotiate. On the table now. Oh, oh, speaking of which, fun games. I got a fun game for you.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

You're decide. Do your thing, and then we'll go into that.

SPEAKER_08 2:33

Well, yeah. This is the ranting episode, so.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 2:36

Okay. Who are you?

SPEAKER_02 2:37

This is Miss Roo.

SPEAKER_08 2:39

Guess who I am today? I'm Sir Uric von Liechtenstein.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

I have no idea what the world is.

SPEAKER_05 2:44

Oh my god, you're killing me, bruh. You never heard of a night's tale?

SPEAKER_08 2:49

Going through all the dead dead people. Yeah. Rip Rest in Peace, Heath Leisure. That's

Welcome Back And Rant Setup

SPEAKER_08 2:53

an old one. Sir Eric von Liechtenstein. Just watched that one too. It's a great movie. That's one of those ones I watch on a yearly basis. Okay. Because just fucking Heath, man. Why? Why?

SPEAKER_02 3:06

Why?

SPEAKER_08 3:06

This is my first rant. Why?

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Can we get this over with?

SPEAKER_08 3:10

What? Oh, you no, I gotta build this up.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Why?

SPEAKER_08 3:13

Okay, so we did the intro. We have an intro now. Okay. And we're going into our ASMR minute. Apparently, I'm not drinking anything.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

Nope.

SPEAKER_08 3:22

What are you drinking?

SPEAKER_02 3:23

I'm drinking peach crown. Peach crown. And munching on some nerd clusters. The blue ones, because the blue ones are better than the red ones in my events.

SPEAKER_08 3:31

Berry, berry. I didn't even know there was two different flavors.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

There are two different flavors.

SPEAKER_08 3:35

Nerds, not sponsored, gummy clusters, sweet and yummy, tangy and crunchy. I will say that I would not normally get this, but because I'm doing an ASMR minute and people love it.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

A person loves it.

SPEAKER_08 3:49

People love it. They're just not saying anything else. I'm going to do one at a time. We didn't negotiate that. Ha ha ha. So for the ASMR minute, that's why I wanted five. It's got to last the whole minute. Which is going to start in three, two.

ASMR Minute With Nerd Clusters

SPEAKER_05 4:06

Oh no, it doesn't crunch.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

It does crunch. Wow, you better put all those in your mouth. You'll get more effect if you put them all in your mouth.

SPEAKER_08 4:18

That's what she said. Do I sound like a bunny eating a watermelon?

SPEAKER_02 4:24

No, nothing like a bunny.

SPEAKER_08 4:25

That's my favorite.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Bunnies don't go in the middle of their bites.

SPEAKER_08 4:29

If you guys watch the They make a little noise. If you guys don't know anything like that. If you guys don't know anything about bunny eating watermelon ASMR, go look that up on YouTube. And then I'll take you down the rabbit hole and then you see uh you watch a turtle eating a uh cantaloupe. Very cute. And then you finish with the pit bull eating all the meat. I will say that it's very cute, but pit bull biting through a bone. Still very jarring. But still very cute. Because the pit bull just sits there at the table. They make a little table for the pit bull. Yeah, yeah. Actually. This actually went on a minute now. Used to do this more often.

SPEAKER_02 5:07

I'll bring different snacks.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

So gross.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

This is my favorite candy. Don't ruin it for me.

SPEAKER_08 5:18

So speaking of rats, do you know about mukbangs? We've talked about this before. Yeah. People just eat.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They eat in front of the thing, but like the way that they eat is insane.

SPEAKER_08 5:30

It depends on what it is. So you can eat a lot, or you can just eat something that's very tasty and go into it.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

No, these people eat like a lot.

SPEAKER_08 5:39

Most people eat a lot. Do you know how it started?

SPEAKER_02 5:41

No.

SPEAKER_08 5:42

It's because people get well, why it started and became popular is because people in certain countries do not like to eat by themselves. It's a very cultural thing to be eating with people, but you're isolated and you can't really eat with people. So you turn on the YouTubes or whatever and you watch a video of somebody eating and that kind of does the thing. No, it does the thing for you. And people have started streaming now, so then you can listen to chat while you eat and stuff like that.

Mukbang Culture And Fasting Talk

SPEAKER_06 6:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 6:04

If y'all don't know, I'm a big old fat boy and I like my foods. I've been fasting, which is strange, but yet I can still eat a lot of food. I don't understand how that works. My stomach has shrunk, as I have shrunk. I'm a schmedium now, from from an extra, probably a double X, down to a Schmedium, but yet I can still eat. And I've come to learn that the uh competitive eaters eat a lot as well, but they don't eat anything. They fast.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

They fast. But yet they can still eat. And they can still eat. They re it takes a couple days for them to recover from what they eat, too.

SPEAKER_08 6:36

Yes, because you I mean you can you're going from nothing to something, like yogurt two days, and then all that, and then um there's tiny people like whatever gender, they're only about 150 pounds.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Yeah, they're itty bitty.

SPEAKER_08 6:47

Yeah. So I'm gonna start doing that. You see me making a YouTube channel and be but I'm gonna eat like this.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Yeah, the minute's over, you can stop this is for example now.

SPEAKER_08 6:57

This is not this is AMR example.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

This is gonna be a rant episode, you're about to start on the road episode.

SPEAKER_08 7:03

You wanna start on a rant here?

SPEAKER_03 7:04

Okay, so my rant here.

SPEAKER_08 7:28

We don't need to do a whole hour, but I'm gonna play a game. I don't know if you've heard of it though.

SPEAKER_05 7:35

Okay, but first of all, my first rant.

SPEAKER_08 7:47

I did not know that there were different developmental phases in relationships.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

How many?

SPEAKER_08 7:54

There are five.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 7:56

Allegedly, because if you look up the if you look it up, there's like a bunch of different names, but in general it's like five, and then could it go up to seven.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

I mean, how many is there? Is there five or is there seven?

SPEAKER_08 8:07

The one I found that I've heard of, and there's a very nice book called Polywise by Jessica Fern and David something her extra. And it's the sequel to Polysecure, which we talked about. Yeah, and uh we gotta do a review once somebody reads Polywise. We've got to do a little review. And please come to the Instagram, Campfire Kingsters with K's, if you would like to hear us do more reviews, because I love doing reviews. I know it's a played out thing.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

We haven't done that, like a book review in

Why Relationship Phases Feel Hidden

SPEAKER_02 8:33

a long time. Yeah, we did Polysecure, but we should do that.

SPEAKER_08 8:35

We were supposed to read another book. We were, and we did not read the other book because stuff happened.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

So we'll read Polywise and we'll do an episode on a review of Polywise.

SPEAKER_08 8:44

I'm waiting on you because I'm enjoying every one of it, but there's a chapter five in there that gets really good that talks about relationships. The fuck okay, so I I identify as well, I physically identify as black person of color, but I was raised in an Asian household and somewhat a little bit black. My my understanding of relationships, and I talked to my therapist about this today, is uh you yell at your partner, you don't do anything together, you go home and you come to sleep, you deal with the kids, and that's it. You have no life outside of that, no hobbies, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Who says that?

SPEAKER_08 9:19

This no, this is my no. But that's you that's my experience of relationship. Okay, this is a different of you. And then in the a lot of the POC cultures, because I've been in there, but definitely in the aging culture, you're just supposed to go get a job and then get married. It's like, how the fuck am I supposed to do this in a single parent household? I have no example of a good relationship.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 9:39

So listening to Pollywise. You gave me no instructional advice, barely got the sex talk. I can't remember how I actually got the sex talk, except for my friends kind of doing it.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

You got it from your friends. We talked about that.

SPEAKER_08 9:54

Not even yeah, yeah, if you want to call it that allegedly, we just keep using that now. Um, but yeah, so I was in a very hectic house cold, and then any other example I had, the couple was yelling and fighting. There was no like romantic stuff whatsoever. So yeah, I'm supposed to go go out there, which probably has something to do with my how I am now. But yeah, and very religious, very conservative, which is another brand I have. But there are five dimensional stages. We'll just focus on the first two. I'm not gonna go over all five.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

The fact that we're both looking at a computer screen that has absolutely nothing to do with what we're talking about, but we keep both looking at it. It's going to magically change on its own.

SPEAKER_08 10:32

What happens is it doesn't matter what I'm doing. I'm scared to like move anything because you end up looking. Like I'm trying to do stuff in the background.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

No, because even when I'm and the screen's still talking about what we talked about in our last episode.

SPEAKER_08 10:48

Exactly. Even when you're talking and I'm trying to do stuff in the background and you look, so I have to do it like covertly, and like, oh yeah, I'm looking at you. Because then you get distracted of what I'm doing. It's like, no, keep talking. I'm producing here.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 10:59

Um, but I'm just gonna focus on the first two because most couples don't even get to the other three. Okay. Don't even know what it is.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

But we still should talk about it.

SPEAKER_08 11:06

I'll talk about it in a we gotta get it's a multiple episode. Multiple episodes, and I'm definitely going to do a pillow fort session if you all like hearing me rant by myself because I'm upset, and this is what I like talking about, but there a lot of phases.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

Now, how many episodes are there? Or how many um stages are there? Phases. Phases, stages they call it.

SPEAKER_08 11:29

Developmental phases that I found from Pollywise, there's five. Okay. There's different um see, because developmental doesn't necessarily mean relationship, but there's in the book and also the website I'm using, it's specific to couples. And I'm going to just probably say heteronormative couples, but you can say any kind of relationship, really. Relationship, any orientation.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Relationship, play partner, all that stuff. But a DS was which could we apply this to DSs? Yep.

SPEAKER_08 11:58

All the different things. Um, once you start going there, but then you have all the different um relationship stuff, and that's where you get into the different seven phases and stuff like that, too. So just gonna talk about the first two for this one because keep it a shorter episode. The first one is very important because that's where a lot of couples, from my understanding, get stuck in. So this is I've actually heard outside of polywise, and also in when people are talking about different um relationship stuff, uh, people talk about being in the symbiotic or symbiosis phase. Now, this is a stage where people like to call when people make songs about it, new relationship energy. I'm sure we've all heard about that. But basically, that's where you come together as a couple or what have you, and you merge together all your common interests, and there's like a little bit of a fantasy thing because there's a lot of promises made, and you kind of go into that because you're in a heightened state of awareness.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

You have a lot of formals, all of the things that you have in common and you're ignoring the things that you don't.

SPEAKER_08 12:59

Exactly. And then also you have big promises that you make. Oh, yeah, we're gonna

Symbiosis And New Relationship Energy

SPEAKER_08 13:03

do this, take these trips, do all this yeah, future planning together, and you're you're in the um euphoric stage of your relationship. New relationship. Okay, we got all these things together. I found somebody I found somebody that that has a common interest that I like. And unfortunately, from my childhood, this is all a relationship is. This is where I've been lying to. Yes, and you're supposed to stay in this, and if you don't, you're a failure.

SPEAKER_05 13:31

Yes, and Jessica actually points this out in the book.

SPEAKER_08 13:33

Okay, so they take turns in the book, so you'll get to that eventually. They switch off back and forth between Jessica and David. This is where she talks about a lot of couples stay in this phase, and you are like punished for not being in that phase for the whole relationship.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Yeah. This must be a bad relationship because we're not this anymore.

SPEAKER_08 13:52

Yes, exactly. We're not having we're not in the honeymoon phase, which a lot of people like to talk about. And then they're like, oh, you're not in the honeymoon phase anymore. It's like, oh, time they're in the relationship. It's like, no, there's another step, which I didn't know. There is it's called differentiation.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

What that's what it's called?

SPEAKER_08 14:08

That's what it's called.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

There's more words than that.

SPEAKER_08 14:10

That's a uh that's an explaining of what differentiation is, which I'm going to do here. This is where you get into the phase of, huh? We talked about this in the beginning of a relationship, but I haven't heard anything about it anymore, and there's no been there's no action have been taken on it.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

So now we're not talking about the things that we have in common anymore. We're talking about the things that are different about us. Exactly. And we're in the brought it up, like I really love going to the movies. Yes. And you were like, Yeah, it's not my favorite activity, you know. I I tend not to do that very much. And then we moved on with the conversation and never brought it up again.

SPEAKER_08 14:46

In the honeymoon phase.

Differentiation And Renegotiating Needs

SPEAKER_02 16:09

In the honeymoon phase. But now that we're comfortable, yes, we're wearing our PJs, throwing our hair up in a bun, no makeup.

SPEAKER_08 16:14

Or we've seen the light.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

I've we've come out of the five.

SPEAKER_08 16:20

Coming off the high.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

And I'm like, well, wait a minute, I really enjoy going to the movies. I thought I brought up that I really like going to the movies. Why haven't we gone to a movie?

SPEAKER_04 16:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 16:31

Or or done that certain type of play before. We haven't used a paddle or a vlogger in a long time.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Why haven't we done any impact?

SPEAKER_08 16:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

I thought I mentioned that I really love impact.

SPEAKER_08 16:40

Remember that contract we talked about very early in the beginning? We haven't done any kind of work on that whatsoever. There's no actual contract out.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

And then you remember, well, yeah, we know we did talk about that. And I mentioned that I don't like going to the movies and I don't like vlogging, and then so we just dropped it. But did we?

SPEAKER_07 16:55

Your role play is very, very much on point right now.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Isn't it?

SPEAKER_07 17:00

It's very much.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

I love it when I can break you. This is great. Keep going.

SPEAKER_07 17:07

You really idiot right now. I am. I wonder why.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

I wonder why I never get I wonder why I never get to go to the movies, and the partner's like, well, I know why we don't go to the movies because I mentioned that I don't like movies, so why would I want to go to the movies when I've already told you I don't like doing that?

SPEAKER_07 17:24

Yes. So we're gonna stop there in those first two phases because I'm picking up on this pretty quick.

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Let's keep going.

SPEAKER_08 17:33

No, no, this is not the podcast. We're ranting right now, and I like the way you're coming right now. They're very passive. I like it. Um, but yes, I want to rant on the fact that I did not know that this was a second phase of a thing and that you were supposed to do this in a relationship. I thought you were just supposed to focus on the stuff you had in common.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

But why would you do that?

SPEAKER_08 17:51

Why would I think that, or why would I do that in action?

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Both. Why would you think that?

SPEAKER_08 17:56

Because as I was growing up, and this is my rant, I did not know this.

SPEAKER_05 17:59

Because you know what? They don't teach this shit in school.

SPEAKER_08 18:02

I'm so mad after all this time, I did not know this. But then people want to judge you, be like, oh, I like them. Why are you guys not together anymore? It's like, because I didn't go through differentiation. And people look at you like, what the fuck is differentiation? And it's like a very important phase of a relationship. You should take note of what you don't have in common and be able to uh figure out if there's a balance there between what you have in common with your person and don't have in common.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

I don't think I don't think it personally, I don't think it's whether or not you have a balance with what you don't have in common. I think it's being able to still come to the table as an individual with differences and different things that you do have in common. And if that is something that doesn't match your partner, how can you still have it fulfilled within your life? Or is it important enough that it still should be fulfilled?

SPEAKER_08 18:47

Yes, you could you jump the gun there, Ms. Roo. Because um the uh the third phase, which we weren't gonna go into, but we'll talk about it, is called individuation.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

About the fact that you're still an individual even though you're in a relationship, and that you don't lose your personal identity because you choose to walk the life with another person who was also an individual before they met you, and while they're with you?

SPEAKER_05 19:12

Yes. Seriously, your relationship does not identify you.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

Your relationship doesn't identify you. You mean so what you're saying is even though I choose to be with this person and I love this person or have these feelings for this person, I still put my own pants on, make my own decisions, and have my own personal ideology and perspective on life, and have likes and dislikes outside of what we agree on and enjoy within our relationship?

SPEAKER_08 19:43

Yes, you are a human being.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

You know what?

SPEAKER_08 19:46

Without even without your relationship.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

How is this shit not on a billboard?

SPEAKER_08 19:49

I'm telling you what, this is my rant. I'm upset.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

How did you not know this?

SPEAKER_08 19:53

I did not know this because I was not raised. They didn't teach it to me in school. All I know is being taught in school. There's nothing else. It's not like they, you know, make a sitcom or a TV show about this. No, this is not what they do. People argue and then they don't have stuff in common and they break up. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

You know what else they don't you know what else they don't talk about? What? Is how this isn't one-dimensional or one-directional. Exactly. Because you can start at one and go to three and then go back to two, and then maybe go back to one because you found out that there was something that you didn't your partner introduced you to. So now you're back in the phase because you found something new to have in common and you know, or like holy shit, I didn't realize that I really love rope until I met somebody who did rope. And even though I said I don't like rope, I did rope with this person. Now we're back to one. How about that?

SPEAKER_05 20:40

It's multi-directional is it called a spectrum?

SPEAKER_02 20:44

No, it it's called an ebb and flow.

SPEAKER_05 20:47

An ebb and flow.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

And that you should be able to ebb and flow in and out of these stages, and that ultimately is what made a healthy, productive relationship. I would argue. Because if you were stagnant in one stage, are you ever really growing as an individual and a couple?

SPEAKER_08 21:05

I would argue that knowing about the fact that there are stages can be very helpful as well.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

I don't know that I think I think that's the misconception. I think that's where you're missing your mark. Is it's not the fact that you didn't know about these stages. I think it's the fact that you didn't know that there was a category of stages.

SPEAKER_05 21:21

All of that. I didn't know the stages existed.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Right, but you didn't know them as stages. They were things that you had encountered, and there were things that you were aware of. You were aware of that.

SPEAKER_08 21:31

My gut told me something was wrong.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

But you were aware of the fact that you were going to connect with a person on a lot of mutual things. And you personally were aware that there were going to be things that you didn't agree on or didn't see eye to eye on. Correct. But be it play styles, food, music, whatever the case may be, hobbies. But you were also aware that you brought your own individuality to the relationship and that you had the ability to stand on your own within a relationship, regardless of what your partner liked. Now you always hope that you can introduce them that you always hope you can introduce them to board games. And that they might not love them, but they can tolerate them or they can have an interest in them, or they can love the fact that you love them. Right? But you've known that these stages exist, you've just never had the words to identify them. So that you could better negotiate and navigate them in a healthy way instead of tripping on them when they happen.

SPEAKER_08 22:23

Yeah, kind of. I didn't I I didn't know there was a difference. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, so I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 22:28

So now that there's words and there's boundaries and there's definitions to what these individual stages that happen within a relationship or multiple times with multiple people, because we are poly, you know. Then now you can be more aware of it when it's happening instead of tripping over it and constantly recovering, which is the difference between proactive and reactive within a relationship.

SPEAKER_08 22:51

Or thinking it's bad because you have multiple things you don't have in common.

SPEAKER_02 22:55

Like, oh, and it's not bad, it's just a new negotiation.

SPEAKER_08 22:57

Which now I'm wean aware of, which is why we're here at Around the Kinky Campfire. We're here to educate through awareness. Now you're aware of what the different phases are.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

But we just got through three.

SPEAKER_08 24:03

Yeah, those two. Three. That's fine. Technically, we didn't even hit the three. We foreshadowed three.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

Okay, foreshadowed three.

SPEAKER_08 24:09

We d we told you about two, but there's there's five or seven or whatever. But the point is, I'm ranting, so we're not gonna talk about all that today. But damn it, there's you got to rant?

SPEAKER_02 24:17

But are you more? But are you more upset about the fact that there are actual phases? Like, who did you expect to teach this to you? This is not part of public education.

SPEAKER_05 24:26

That's my rant. Why is it not part of public education?

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Well, I mean, why and why should it be? Because we all have relationships. Yeah, but it's not our job to teach other people's children how to navigate their relationships.

SPEAKER_08 24:37

Ooh, there we go. What's your rant? Do you want to say why who should be the ones teaching?

SPEAKER_02 24:42

Not the public education system.

SPEAKER_08 24:43

Who sh who should be teaching?

SPEAKER_02 24:45

Not the public education system. That's all you're gonna say? Yeah. I think that's a good thing. Because they can get no because they because they can get it from a number of different places depending on the environment that they're raised in. They can get it from parental units, they can get it from their number one in my religious organizations.

SPEAKER_08 25:00

They could not the G O D, the G A W D, like God damn it.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

They can get it from their religious there are very healthy relationship aspects to a lot of religious organizations out there.

SPEAKER_08 25:12

Have you talked to like a religious leader person about relationships? Yes. You have?

SPEAKER_02 25:16

I was raised in a religion. And it was good. It was good for the people.

SPEAKER_05 25:19

You should abstain and not do anything, and then God will lead the way.

SPEAKER_02 25:23

I didn't say it was good. I it said it could be good for them because there are people who are just want to know it.

SPEAKER_05 25:27

Was it good or not?

SPEAKER_02 25:28

Not for me. They can get it from therapy.

SPEAKER_05 25:31

Hopefully.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

I mean, it and sometime gonna burst your little bubble there. Not everything has to be taught to you for you to learn it. Some things just need to be learned.

SPEAKER_07 25:39

Like making the mistakes. Yes. Burning the bridges in the city. Oh God.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

Some things just need to be learned. Because did you learn the lessons that you were taught? Were those ingrained more in your brain when you learned them from a professor in a classroom? Or when you made the mistake and had to live through it and and learn how it affected you personally by going through it? I would say yes. Which lessons resonated with you more and played a bigger part in developing who you are as a person.

SPEAKER_08 26:09

Now I will say this. I'll say Julius, not Sir Urric. I know personally, because I've done the shadow work, I need both. I need first give me an outline of what you were doing, say say for math or for the thing.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

But that's not realistic.

SPEAKER_08 26:23

It can be.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

You cannot be given an outline for every life lesson that you need to be able to know to navigate this without problem. Why would you want to walk this earth without obstacles?

SPEAKER_08 26:34

I could I would say that learning about it beforehand lessens the obstacle and also helps me personally learn from my mistake when I say, oh, that was it. Like I was being judgy, which is something I learned recently. I would say I personally developed more now knowing what judgy is and also knowing the science of being judgy.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

And see, this is this is gonna be a debate within communities. Is it better to teach people what to do and how to do it the right way?

SPEAKER_07 27:03

I think people have to.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

Or is it better to create a safe environment of which people can learn and learn from the mistakes that they make. But you see what I'm saying? But you're you're advocating for the everything should be taught in a lesson. And I'm advocating for everything should be taught in an environment that is safe and productive for people to be able to fall in their face and learn the lessons they need to learn for them individually.

SPEAKER_08 27:30

I'm actually on both sides. So I agree with m mine and with yours.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

I would say I mean I have a little camp. I'm in education. You know, I do kink education and I I do it as much as I possibly can for the right reasons, right? So

Should Schools Teach Relationship Skills

SPEAKER_02 27:43

obviously I believe in the education platform to be able to provide people with the information that they need. However, for life lessons, for relationship left, for DS lessons, I can stand on a stage and I can teach a class about being a dominant. I can give them definitions, I can give them scenarios, I can give them examples, I can even provide life lessons of things that I have learned in being a dominant, and it will not prepare them for being a dominant of another person.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

I agree.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

However, I can create or help to create, I can give them the definitions, and I can always provide the examples, and I can be available for advice and guidance and create the environment for which they can go out and be a dominant and have the safety net to be able to make the mistake and learn from them because they are relevant to them personally.

SPEAKER_08 28:38

Yes, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

I uh I agree you need both in moderation, not one to me. It's it should be a combat, it should it shouldn't be one or the other. It's gotta be a little bit of both. But to me, more experience, less formal education when we're talking about soft skills. Hard skills, I can stand in front of a class and I can throw I can teach anybody how to throw a flogger. Literally anybody. I can teach you an under an hour, never touched one before, being able to effectively and with the accuracy and fun throw a flogger. I can't that's a hard skill. We can teach that. We can teach you how to hit with a cane, we can teach you how to do a single collar, we can teach you how to do electro, how to do fire, basic fire. We can teach all that with assurety, all of the things. But when you start talking about soft skills, when you're starting to involve the any individual other than yourself, you can't finitely teach to cover anything that could possibly come up or that they would experience. You can only give basics, you can give definitions so that we are all speaking the same language, yeah. We're all using words, but then you have to create the environment.

SPEAKER_05 29:45

Yeah, good luck with that part.

SPEAKER_08 29:46

Because yeah, but yes, you need both. I would say for me personally, I need 50-50 because knowing the definition is just like gaslighting. It's a very popular thing in the last year. We didn't know about that in the 90s, we didn't know what it was.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

Well, we we we knew about it, but we didn't have a word for it.

SPEAKER_08 30:01

Yeah, we knew the the concept, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

The concept was alive and thriving, but we didn't have a word for it.

SPEAKER_08 30:07

And also, I didn't know I was doing it, so no, I didn't know what it was. I thought that was just a normal thing. So you just argue it. So yeah, knowing what it is now, even though it's overused, but I'll just use that as an example because all the people know what it is now. Uh, knowing what it is and knowing that it was bad was very helpful to me. Wish I would have known it earlier in life because yeah, that's that's not a good thing to do, and I was just not aware of what I was doing. I thought that was just a normal thing in relationships, another thing bringing up being brought up in the culture. But yeah, having both, being taught, being um made aware of the thing, and then also being able to practice it. Uh definitely why I want to do the coaching thing because yeah, I want to be the person in helping somebody do both, which with the hard skills and the soft skills. Not so much the hard skills, because that's the actual skill, you just do that. But having the soft

Hard Skills Versus Soft Skills

SPEAKER_08 30:52

skills, having a direction of where you're going and actually working on that actual skill.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

No, I think there's I think there's benefit in creating a class where this can be applied to dynamics and interpersonal relationships with D.

SPEAKER_08 31:05

That's another thing, too, that people probably not aware of, is that that relates to the kink in the B E S M, which people don't like, yes, but you can take this and and relate it.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

Yep. Very much so, because you see this in new dynamics. They get in it, they meet somebody. Yeah, how many times have we met a submissive type, an S-type, that has always been an S-type, they identify as an S-type, but they've never had a dominant, they've never had somebody that actually wanted to take that authority and and have that authority over them, and then they meet one. They meet a top who can do all of the things to them that they've always dreamed of, that want to take that authority, want to take that control, want to take that power, all of the things, right? And then you've got the D type that's like, holy shit, I finally found somebody that let me do the things to them. And I've always wanted to do these things before, and I've taken all the classes, all the things. I'm gonna control what panties they wear, I'm gonna control what color shirt they wear, I'm gonna control what food they eat, I'm gonna control what they go to the bathroom, I'm gonna get to do all these things. And they're in stage one and they frenzy, and they're doing all the things, and they think they've negotiated, they think they have got it all figured out, even though they've never done it before. And then something happens. Sometimes it's a month, sometimes it's five months, sometimes it's a week. Something happens when they were like, Well, no, I don't want to do it. I thought I told you I wasn't in it. Well, yeah, I heard you, but I mean, like, but we've already done all these things. Do you want to try that? No, I really don't want to try that. But if you want to do it with somebody else, I'm okay with that. Well, why opens a whole can of worms? Now, what do they do? They sever the diamond because the diamond supposed to be bad because we're not agreeing. Yep.

SPEAKER_08 32:33

That's great. Because they didn't know about differentiation. Renegotiating. That's why we always broadcast on this podcast to uh negotiate all the time. Gotta negotiate.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Or when the one partner introduces, well, I want to do rope play. Well, I didn't. I I thought I said I don't like Well, yeah, you said you don't. But I mean, like, I really remember I said I liked the can we do the rope thing? No, I really don't want to do the rope thing. Are we really compatible?

SPEAKER_08 32:55

Or the partner that that uh decided well it's not really decided, they realize they want to switch roles, or the person that had a you know monogamous or vanilla relationship and decided, oh, I want to be kinky or poly all of a sudden after 15 years. Yeah. All these different things.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

It can be applied all the way across the board. Oh man. So when you are in your uh symbiosis, when you're in the symbiosis stage, the first stage, right? Does does any of this research and any of this information give you a ballpark guesstimated time of about how long that stage lasts?

SPEAKER_08 33:28

They usually say up to two years.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

Um it's the first two years.

SPEAKER_08 33:32

That's what they say up to two years, yeah. But I'm just starting this because I just learned about this. But um, yeah, I would love to see if there's a timeline for all the different phases and see about like about when that that happened. And also would like to see people that would go into the four and the five. It's like that's probably where the people are like 50, 60, 70 year relationship. They did this on their own without even knowing.

SPEAKER_02 33:53

Without knowing there was a thing that they were doing.

SPEAKER_05 33:56

So that's the magic cure right there.

SPEAKER_08 33:58

All right. So moving on to the next rant. You don't have a rant? You don't have one?

SPEAKER_00 34:02

No, I'm good. This was fun. Another one. Oh my god, yeah. I see that you love it.

SPEAKER_08 34:06

Yeah, so let's talk about terms.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

Terms.

SPEAKER_08 34:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

Like words?

SPEAKER_08 34:11

Uh yeah, all all the different uh kink, let's just do kink and BDSM terms. Okay. Have you gone onto our favorite website?

SPEAKER_02 34:18

We have a favorite website, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 34:19

Good old Fet Life.

SPEAKER_02 34:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 34:21

Um, have you seen the number of roles and um they've increased.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

Again. Oh, again. Again, they've broadened.

SPEAKER_08 34:29

They keep adding more.

SPEAKER_02 34:30

Well, of course. Look at our society. We keep adding more things to our society.

SPEAKER_08 34:34

Yes, and I keep putting it on the website, which is interesting. Haven't been on the website for 10 plus years, the recent changes that they've had.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

It's a lot. I remember when there was very basic roles you could choose from, whether it fit you or not.

SPEAKER_08 34:45

And they actually give you a definition of what all the roles are.

SPEAKER_02 34:49

They do?

SPEAKER_08 34:49

Yes, they do.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_08 34:51

I'm not gonna go there because there's so many. But anyways.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

Well, no, you can't bring it up and then not pull it up and let me see. So why is this a rant?

SPEAKER_08 34:59

My rant is there are people that even identify as educators that don't?

SPEAKER_02 35:06

No. Oh. Not yet.

SPEAKER_08 35:08

That don't want to explain the differences or haven't taken the time to explain the differences between the different roles and definitions and terms.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

Can you give an example? I don't really want to.

SPEAKER_08 35:19

Oh, come on. They have trouble with the the rack, the SSC, and the flick.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

What about prick?

SPEAKER_08 35:24

And prick.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

They have trouble like defining the difference, but they have the de Yes.

SPEAKER_08 35:29

And they have they have issues with the concept of the different definitions.

SPEAKER_05 35:35

She okay, so they do understand that.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

And they are educators. That the abbreviations have evolved, which is why they're different with time and society. There's too many letters.

SPEAKER_08 35:50

And they have trouble with the the alphabet can be.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

Well, that's society has is still adjusting to that. Yeah. And so, of course, b with this being a subset of society, there is going to be learning curves everywhere. It's just a matter of some people's learning curves are bigger than others. Yes. Some sex of society's curves are bigger than others.

SPEAKER_08 36:13

My thing is, why are you confessing to be an educator on the space or have a social media platform where you produce content, but you have trouble with this? But everybody has their own opinion. That's a small rant for my ideas.

SPEAKER_02 36:24

And so that would go back to our previous podcast on the difference between calling in and calling out. Why are why are people seeing that's one of the things that I preach to people vet your educators? Don't take a class just because they decide to offer one. You know, what are they teaching? Why are they teaching it? Where have they taught before? What communities are they involved in? You need to vet your educator. Just because I'm standing on the stage doesn't mean that I'm important. It means I got picked. Yep. That's another thing.

SPEAKER_08 36:51

You want to talk about that whole process? I don't think a lot of people know this. Like I didn't know you had to apply to the city.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

Yeah, you need to apply. Well, for convention, you have to apply to any presenter. Well, I mean, people are presenters, you can get invited. But with conventions, you have to apply to be a presenter, and then they vet you. You have to provide references of people that you that will um give a reference for you that will vet you. You have to list

Kink Terms And Vetting Educators

SPEAKER_02 37:16

where have you taught previously, what have you taught previously? You have to provide contact information for them to be able to contact those people, and they will vet all of their presenters. One, to see if you're in good standing and capable of presenting. And two, does do you align with the view and the vision of the convention and the education that they're wanting to provide?

SPEAKER_05 37:40

See, I didn't know all that. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

And so just because somebody stand, and even then when you're at a convention, good educators will tell you that vet my class, vet me as a presenter. Don't sit in here and listen to my class and just take my word as is, do your research. Just like you would a partner, just like you would a play partner.

SPEAKER_08 38:01

Just like you would do for podcasts. Don't listen to us, just do research.

SPEAKER_02 38:04

And just like you would do for a job. Vet them. See, dig into their background and see if they're worthy of listening. Now you can sit in somebody's class and you can always choose what you take from it. I have had classes that I have sat in that have been horrible, absolutely horrible. Did not agree with anything that the presenter was saying, didn't agree with what they were presenting, didn't agree with their ideology behind it, their reasoning behind it. However, it taught me how not to be. I learned lessons on how not to do things. I learned lessons on how not to sat on how not to how how ineffective ways to resolve com uh conflict in my in the community based off their information. So just because you sit in somebody's class, don't be okay with what you get from that class. You don't always have to have an epitome. You don't always have to have this glowing light bulb moment where you learn something monumental. You might learn something like I never want to do that. I never want to experience that. I never want to sound like so be okay, but you still have to vet.

SPEAKER_08 39:05

So always vet. And very quickly, since we're on the education topic, do you want to tell us the difference between kink and BDSM?

SPEAKER_02 39:11

That's just to go back to what we're doing.

SPEAKER_05 39:12

We're going back! We gotta go back, kink and BDSM.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

So what are these roles? There's a lot of they actually have wait a minute, they now have a section for looking for and not looking for. I've never seen the not looking for before.

SPEAKER_08 39:26

Oh yes. So as somebody that uses FetLife as a dating app, when you message somebody, there's a little pop-up that comes up and it says not looking for. So before you send a message, there's a notification that says what the person is not looking for.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

I don't really need to go fix my profile.

SPEAKER_08 39:43

Yes, and then it goes on to say, like, if you still want to message this person, you can, but this isn't now.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

This is a brand new message, not a reply to an existing thread.

SPEAKER_08 39:53

This is when you message somebody for the first time. So yeah, it's a little a little pop-up that can be.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

I've never seen the not looking for. This is intriguing.

SPEAKER_08 40:00

Chrome has AI now, which we can talk about again. Um, so yes, there's a bunch of this is a big old list now. Wow, look at that. This is I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling. Yes, and then towards the bottom we have undecided and vanilla, of course. Facilitator, munch organizer. Oh, look at that.

SPEAKER_02 40:16

Circus master? Circus master. Do they have cat wrangler?

SPEAKER_08 40:20

Uh there's a feral menace and a chaos gremlin.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

Chaos coordinator.

SPEAKER_08 40:25

Chaos gremlin tamer. You can be oh goblin king. Oh add a bunch of them. Witch wizard, yes, werewolf. Ooh, I'm a werewolf. I'm a werewolf. Little monster, I guess succubus, incubus, I want chaos, chaos coordinator. That'd be amazing. Chaos organized chaos.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Yeah, I don't see that one.

SPEAKER_08 40:42

Vampirus, demon. You probably add it on here.

SPEAKER_01 40:45

Probably.

SPEAKER_08 40:46

Goodness gracious. Yeah, this is all the stuff that's on here now. Fairy Kink Mother, just a straight pervert. I mean, aren't we all? Um Mentor, Protector, Drag King, Dragon.

SPEAKER_02 40:56

And so when you're picking each level, you don't food slut. There you go. Have you added that to yours?

SPEAKER_08 41:02

You can only have five. That's the problem. So they added these things. But then you can only have five. You can only have five. So you gotta like rotate it out. Food daddy.

SPEAKER_02 41:10

I think food slut should be at the top of your list.

SPEAKER_08 41:12

Give me a cheeseburger. I'm telling you what. Poor myself out. Electro button, electro switch. So very specific needle. And then they have all these specific ones, but then you can only do five. I don't understand this. Wax slut, boot bitch, boot black, leather pony, leather slut, leather man, leather pub, latex, adult baby, tickly, banking, bondage slut, I really need to get on here more. Solo player. Uh man, that just made me think of a Reddit post that somebody put up. They they want to get more kink experience, but solo. So go to classes. Yeah. They would they want to they want to practice.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

But solo.

SPEAKER_08 41:48

Yeah, and they specifically like losing control and being bound, but solo.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

I'm like, no, there's people that do self-bondage.

SPEAKER_08 41:55

Yeah, but they they want to have the loss of control.

SPEAKER_02 41:58

Right. But you can do that. That's so easy.

SPEAKER_08 42:00

Screams danger. Getting stuck in a position you can't get out of.

SPEAKER_02 42:03

No, no, no. So they make they make devices with timers. Oh. And you can do self-bondage and connect like lock, whatever you're doing, or keep it just out of distance for a certain time that you set on this timer, and then when the timer goes off, it either opens up and gives the key or opens up the bondage that you're in. Yeah. So you can you can ex absolutely experience that yourself and and do it solo.

SPEAKER_08 42:26

I should respond to their posts. I didn't know you could do

FetLife Roles And Identity Burnout

SPEAKER_08 42:28

that. Yeah. Or share it with you and just wanted to talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 42:30

Yeah, there's a lot of people who love bondage and love like helplessness and they create situations that as long as the timer is going, they are stuck where they are.

SPEAKER_08 42:40

That's interesting. I would like to see what that looks like.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

But this but this existed before technology because you could do it with ice. There's people who did self-imposed chastity, like men who did self-imposed chastity, where they would take the chastity device and they would put it on and they would lock it. And it's a trick I've I've used. And you put it put a piece of string around the key, and then you hang the string over the top of a cup so that the key is dangling in the middle of the cup, right? It doesn't lay on the bottom but dangles in the middle of the cup. You put water in the cup and put it in the freezer, and you are now stuck in this chastity device until the ice melts.

SPEAKER_08 43:17

That one I've heard. Have you ever made them use their body heat while bound to get the key out?

SPEAKER_02 43:21

You could do that. But I mean, like, so people will put the we'll put it on and then go through the ritual of security and ice. And you can make the ice as big like so however long you want to be the thing is how big the ice. I've seen I have personally put string on a key and and dropped it into the very middle of a two-liter, empty two-liter bottle, and then filled it with water and then put it in the freezer. And so therefore it takes thaw. Once it's taken out, it takes a while to freeze, yeah, then takes a while to thaw. Well, you know, you just have to let it sit on the counter and thaw.

SPEAKER_08 43:59

Oh, all the way out like that.

SPEAKER_02 44:00

Yeah. Wow. You see what I'm saying? So you could do it in a you could do it in a rocks class glass, like where so it's a short amount of time. So the bigger the container, the longer it takes for you to be able to get out. So you can do it if you don't trust technology, you're like, oh, well, what if the battery dies? Or what if the technology doesn't work? You don't have to have technology to do it. You can do it with ice.

SPEAKER_05 44:20

That's a good call. Put it somewhere where you can't get it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Now, if you're really adventurous, old school, really adventurous, people would take, like said chastity keys, right? Not promoting this, but I'm saying it was done. Okay. And they would mail it to themselves.

SPEAKER_04 44:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 44:37

So they would put it in a padded envelope, and they would go to the post office and they would put it in the post office box with their address. What if it gets lost? I'm just saying. And they would mail the key. So then it was a waiting game on when the mail came. Is is this the day that the mail came?

SPEAKER_08 44:51

You could post date it too. You could.

Solo Bondage Safety And Timer Ideas

SPEAKER_08 44:56

My armpits are sweaty thinking about it.

SPEAKER_02 44:57

So there's many ways that you can do something. Something lost mail.

SPEAKER_08 45:01

Mail, M-A-M-A-M-I-L. M-A-I-L. It just makes me nervous. Oh, speaking of mail, so my neurodivergent ass stopped checking my mail, and I didn't know. If the mail mail person can't put mail in there, they make you a vacant plane.

SPEAKER_07 45:15

So you actually have to go to the post office to get your mail turned back on. Because they send your mail back. I just learned this. Wow. From personal.

SPEAKER_08 45:26

Like I said, people, I'm here to educate you through my mistakes. Don't let your mail sit out for too long and not check your mailbox because if the mail person can't put mail in the mailbox, they send it back to the post office and they return it to the sender because you didn't check it.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

You can give the key to a trusted friend who has it at an undisclosed location until a certain designated date and time. And no matter what, they can't give it back to you.

SPEAKER_08 45:51

This is a good call. When they were talking about, I was thinking about ropes.

SPEAKER_02 45:55

You can give it to a friend and say, okay, I want you to hold it for a minimum of two weeks, but don't tell me when you're going to give it back to me.

SPEAKER_08 46:04

I don't know if that still counts as solo for them, though.

SPEAKER_02 46:06

Why not? They don't have access to well, I mean, yeah, I guess it's maybe because you're involving another person. Yeah. But I mean, like, it's not a good idea. Yeah. They're just a they're just a conduit. They're just, you know, a block of ice. They're not involved in it. There's no interaction. There's no exchange of power.

SPEAKER_08 46:23

They're just literally And also this is my bias too, because when they said solo, I thought they meant by themselves, and I was like, I don't know. So yeah. Well, I mean, there's a difference.

SPEAKER_02 46:31

People who do solo rope who self-tie. People self-tie all the time.

SPEAKER_08 46:35

That's different. This person was specifically saying they wanted to like have the loss of control by themselves.

SPEAKER_02 46:42

Yeah, so solo bondage.

SPEAKER_08 46:43

Yeah, they didn't mention anything. No, it's a thing.

SPEAKER_02 46:45

It's a very old concept. It's been around a very long time.

SPEAKER_05 46:48

I did not know.

SPEAKER_08 46:49

Yeah, they lost me. I found my new role, Primal Centralist.

SPEAKER_02 46:53

Is that before or after Food Slut?

SPEAKER_08 46:55

I would say before because Food Slut, I would definitely need a partner for that.

SPEAKER_02 46:58

Why?

SPEAKER_08 46:59

Because I'm slutting it out.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

No, I thought Food Slut was like you were just a slut. For food. Yeah. Does it have anything to do with your partner?

SPEAKER_05 47:05

It does. I need somebody to give me the food.

SPEAKER_02 47:07

You don't just go get it yourself?

SPEAKER_05 47:09

No.

SPEAKER_02 47:09

Why?

SPEAKER_05 47:10

I need the food somebody to do it.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

So you just go get it yourself.

SPEAKER_05 47:13

I need somebody to bring me the food. The actual bringing of the food.

SPEAKER_01 47:15

That doesn't make you a food.

SPEAKER_05 47:16

That makes me a food. No, because I turn into a slut when they give me food.

SPEAKER_01 47:20

You're ridiculous.

SPEAKER_08 47:21

But I am. I'm ridiculous. There's no there's no role for that. There's no role for that. A primal sensualist. So I'm going to add that. You can be a duck.

SPEAKER_02 47:31

You can be a duck?

SPEAKER_08 47:32

You can be a duck. An otter, we know what an otter is. Squirrel possum.

SPEAKER_02 47:36

I don't I almost want to pick a duck.

SPEAKER_08 47:38

So this must be the critter folks. That makes sense. Still have not met a duck. That's interesting. Sissy, phantom cuck queen, cockolders, vixen, cuck cake. Okay, so these are making more sense now.

SPEAKER_02 47:48

So is it a chew toy?

SPEAKER_08 47:51

I need I need a chew thorough.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

I know people who enjoy being chew toys.

SPEAKER_08 47:55

Yeah. That's uh that's on my negotiation sheet.

SPEAKER_02 47:57

To be a chew toy?

SPEAKER_08 47:58

I need that booty. Need them booty cheeks. Pillow queen, brat wrangler. Oh my god. Not just a brat tamer or a brat wrangler.

SPEAKER_02 48:06

No.

SPEAKER_08 48:06

Oof, I need that. Okay. How am I supposed to just choose five? Cuddle slut. I'm 100% a cuddle slut.

SPEAKER_02 48:12

That's in there? It's a cuddle slut. So which one comes first? Cuddle slut or food slut?

SPEAKER_08 48:16

God, you're killing me right now.

SPEAKER_02 48:18

You have to choose five.

SPEAKER_08 48:20

See, this is my neurodivergent this is where I shut

Mail Mistakes And Learning The Hard Way

SPEAKER_08 48:22

the website now because my neurodivergence is. I burnt out. I burnt out. I burnt out two roles ago. This is my problem. This is why I don't have pictures of myself. Edge top, edge switch. Oh my god. Because I can't decide um what I want to be. Primal Satal masochist. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 48:38

You're missing the most beautiful point about this whole experience and lifestyle. It doesn't matter. That's true. You can always change it.

SPEAKER_08 48:44

You want to rant about that?

SPEAKER_02 48:45

You can always update it.

SPEAKER_08 48:46

Do we have too many roles now?

SPEAKER_02 48:48

What you are now doesn't mean that that's how that's what you have to be a year from now.

SPEAKER_08 48:52

That's very true.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

But then Why are they letting me into five things?

SPEAKER_05 48:56

I could be ten things at at this time next year.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

But maybe that's the the essence of mystery. Like you're just presenting five, and somebody has to get to know the other five. That's true. So what do you want the public to know compared to what do you want? But here's the thing. What do you want the public to know compared to what what do you want your the people who take the time to create an interpersonal relationship with you to know? Is that on there? I can be a bitch. Holy shit, I can be a madam bitch.

SPEAKER_08 49:28

So now I have to go in there and figure out what I'm gonna be. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 49:32

So that could be the defining difference for you is what would you want your public persona to be and what was what is only reserved for the people that have earned your interpersonal relationship.

SPEAKER_08 49:44

So I'm I'm starting to go by Julius on all the things now, and Julius is an open person. Julius doesn't care. So they can learn all the different things. I can tell you when last time I went poop. Speaking of poop, there was green donuts that I had access to. Krispy Kreme, green donuts on St. Patty's Day that I had like a dozen.

SPEAKER_00 50:02

You ate a dozen?

SPEAKER_08 50:04

Almost. Almost by myself, yes. Krispy Kreme. They looked weird because they were green and they looked that kind of green, where it's like, damn, that's is that moldy? But they tasted fantastic. I had almost a dozen of those green donuts.

SPEAKER_05 50:16

Guess what happened the day after?

SPEAKER_08 50:18

Somebody was still seeing green going swirling swirling down on the Super Bowl. I took the the brown. I didn't take the browns to the Super Bowl. I took the greens.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

The Eagles. Oh my god, this is disgusting. We're not talking about this.

SPEAKER_07 50:36

Poople. People were talking about poople.

SPEAKER_02 50:38

No, we are not. Hard limit. Such a run of time. You don't have a rant. About what? I've talked.

SPEAKER_08 50:46

I just want to get on the fucking the whole thing that started on this rant was the thing I talked about earlier. This fucking politics is not a political podcast, but god damn it, they're really forcing me to do my political education. It's fucking annoying.

SPEAKER_02 51:01

Oh, darn. And in uh election time too, how the shame of it all that you have to actually there is a certain person that's going from the state level to the national level. Not anymore.

SPEAKER_08 51:14

So you even know how I'm talking about. Good.

SPEAKER_02 51:16

Go ahead. Not anymore.

SPEAKER_08 51:18

I hope they trip and I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

They my ass. They're trying to promote not they. He fell flat on his ass, and I am all about it.

unknown 51:25

God.

SPEAKER_08 51:26

Yeah, I I heard about something, so I'm glad it finally. But there's other ones out there, like the whole anti-abortion bullshit that's going on. How can you be a taxpaying adult in this country and not have a right to a choice? I don't understand this.

SPEAKER_02 51:41

Why is this just now pissing you off when women have been dealing with this since our existence in this country?

SPEAKER_08 51:47

I haven't had a problem.

SPEAKER_02 51:48

Why is it now pissing you off? It didn't evidently piss everybody off when we didn't have the right to vote. It didn't piss everybody off when we didn't have a right to own a car, when we didn't have a right to own a house, when we couldn't have a bank account, we couldn't have property in our name. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It didn't peep it didn't piss people off back then. It pissed the people off that it affected.

SPEAKER_08 52:07

Are we talking about the actual past?

SPEAKER_02 52:09

It wasn't that distance of a past.

SPEAKER_08 52:11

Yeah, there was other things that were going on that weren't that distant in the 1960s.

SPEAKER_02 52:15

It wasn't that distant, and it didn't piss off the people except for the people that it affected.

SPEAKER_08 52:20

Let's just say I choose my battles. Um if you're seeing me in person, Ms. Roo, you know there's other battles. I'm just saying I could be having being pissed about.

SPEAKER_02 52:28

I'm just talking about you're pissed, and I appreciate the fact that people are passionate about the fact that people should have autonomy over their body, but it is not a new concept.

SPEAKER_08 52:37

My thing is they gave it place now where it's illegal to do stuff and for people to have a choice. And they're criminalizing the doctors.

SPEAKER_02 52:45

They went backwards.

SPEAKER_08 52:47

Yes, that's that's my issue. Like, why are we still fighting for this now when we're trying to move forward?

SPEAKER_02 52:53

We thought we already did this. Why are we back to it?

SPEAKER_05 52:55

How can they like and then they go back and just do this and what the fucking shit?

SPEAKER_08 52:59

Okay. Anyways, that's what I'm saying. My thing with that is there are people, individuals out there that are spreading their opinions and then making it everybody's problem.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

They're called politicians. That's their job.

SPEAKER_08 53:11

Did you ever hear that politics is uh celebrity for ugly people? I'm not even joking. That's an actual thing. That's what people say. A celebrity for ugly people. Just think about that. I'm not even not even me that said that, okay? That's an actual thing that people say. Celebrity for ugly people. You want to be famous to be ugly, you gotta be a politician. Doppel. But, anyways, that's what they say. I believe it. Because yeah, that's some bullshit. Like, I mean, how okay. My yeah, it's when you have your you have your own opinion. I have no problem with that. You have your way, you were born, you have you can be whatever affiliation you want. But my problem is when your affiliation interfects my life or anybody else's life, you should have your opinion, but you can't tell people what they can't do and then make it illegal for doing that to their body. That shit. That's what got me started on the rant. And then the the side thing with the not knowing the definitions but proclaiming to be an educator. Quick fun game that we're gonna switch over to. We're gonna be

Politics Rant And Bodily Autonomy

SPEAKER_08 54:08

happy people now. Okay. I just uh I have a platform and I want to rant about it. You're gonna know my opinion. If you want to hire me for my services, you're gonna know where I lean.

SPEAKER_02 54:15

Fun game.

SPEAKER_08 54:16

Julius is here. Have you heard of the rating game? Could have been on TikTok, TikTok trend. No. So the rating game goes like this. You say, however, whatever person you want to talk about, this mythical person. They are an eight, but. And then you either list a negative or a positive, and then you change the rating based off of that.

SPEAKER_02 54:33

So Oh, rating. Not rating. Like you're rating the refrigerator.

SPEAKER_08 54:38

Rating?

SPEAKER_02 54:39

I heard rating. Like you're rating. Rating. I have heard of this.

SPEAKER_08 54:44

Okay. Do you want to play?

SPEAKER_02 54:46

So they're they're a 10, but they um they're a 10, but they pee in the shower. So now they're a seven.

SPEAKER_08 54:55

Ooh, good one. They're a seven for you?

SPEAKER_02 54:57

No. I mean, I don't care if they pee in the shower as long as they don't aim at me.

SPEAKER_08 55:00

Oh, I thought you were going to go serious.

SPEAKER_02 55:02

No, but I mean, like, I was giving an example of like what the game is about. Okay, I didn't.

SPEAKER_08 55:05

Yeah. I I was going to give you an example. Yeah. Okay. We're going to take that seriously because that's an actual controversial thing. There's a, there's a, there's a spectrum, there's a bias on that. Some people hate it and some people don't. Am I in the shower? Am I in the shower or am I by myself?

SPEAKER_02 55:20

No, I don't care if somebody pees in the shower, period. Whether you're in there or not with it.

SPEAKER_07 55:29

See what sad is 100%.

SPEAKER_08 55:32

Um so yeah, if I'm in the shower, don't pee, which I I don't have an opinion on showering. We can do that too. They're an eight, but they want you to take a shower with them.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Oh, then they're a nine.

SPEAKER_08 55:43

Four. Four.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

Oh, total nine.

SPEAKER_08 55:45

I don't know. I don't need to put my private time. Pooping, pee, and showering. Private time.

SPEAKER_02 55:49

You love showering with somebody.

SPEAKER_08 55:50

Uh nope. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:52

They're a nine, but they pee while you're in the shower.

SPEAKER_08 55:56

In the toilet or in the shower? In the toilet. And they flush it?

SPEAKER_02 55:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 55:58

That's an asshole move. So what do you change the rating to?

SPEAKER_02 56:03

What do you? That's what I'm saying. They're a nine, but they use the phone.

SPEAKER_08 56:07

That's a funny joke, because you know what's about to happen. If you know what's about to happen, especially here, I've actually had that happen, and it's like, oh, good one.

SPEAKER_04 56:14

Yeah, good one.

SPEAKER_00 56:15

Yeah, there's still a nine.

SPEAKER_08 56:16

There's two showers in here, and or two, there's two bathrooms in here, and whether you use either one, it changes the temperature in the other sh in the shower. Okay, so yeah, that's funny. Um I'll go, I'll go light. They are a six, but they don't like impact. Impact plate.

SPEAKER_02 56:33

So they're probably a four or five from it goes down.

SPEAKER_08 56:35

I would still I would I would still say six.

SPEAKER_02 56:38

Only because I really enjoy it. Yes. That's why I put it out there. I don't have to have it with my partner, but it's a bonus if they have to. But it goes down for you. A little bit, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 56:47

I would still say there's. A little bit. Alright, your turn. So they're a so they're It doesn't have to be all like kink and BSM either.

SPEAKER_02 56:54

I don't know. Um they're a nine, but your friends don't like them.

SPEAKER_06 56:58

Which friends?

SPEAKER_02 56:59

Your close friends. Your inner circle doesn't like them.

SPEAKER_06 57:02

Still a nine.

SPEAKER_02 57:03

Still a nine.

SPEAKER_06 57:04

Solo poly. You had that caveat. See, if I just don't bring them around then.

SPEAKER_02 57:08

I'm done. If they're an if they're a nine and my friends don't like them, I'm done.

SPEAKER_08 57:13

I've actually had that situation. My friends have literally told me, oh, we like them better.

SPEAKER_02 57:17

No, if my friends don't like them.

SPEAKER_08 57:18

No, no, no. Oh. I'm just saying in real life, and they told that to the person. We like you the best.

SPEAKER_02 57:23

I was like, Because my thing is that you're my friends, they're my friends for a reason. So they know shit about me that nobody else knows. They know real I can't bullshit them.

SPEAKER_04 57:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:32

And

The Rating Game For Dealbreakers

SPEAKER_02 57:33

so I could be in that first stage, and they're gonna see things for what they are because they have no emotional ties. So if my friends don't like somebody, it's for a very damn good reason. Yeah. And I I trust them because they've been through the gauntlet with me. And so yeah, I will never lose a inner circle friend over somebody else.

SPEAKER_08 57:57

Yeah, see, I got the the RA, the relationship anarchy. So there's gonna be people I date that my friends are never gonna meet or family. Family hasn't met anybody I've dated, so yeah. I get I get what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 58:07

Yeah, not happening. If my friends come to me and we're and they were like, you know, adamantly that you are making the hugest mistake, we don't like them, they are bad for you, I would be like valid. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 58:19

Now, do you but do your friends meet every partner or play partner that you're with?

SPEAKER_02 58:23

If they are going to be a significant person to me, then my friends meet them. Their friends have to meet them. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm too social for them not to. Yeah. I'm too social with my friends. Yeah, yeah. That they wouldn't meet them. Good old relationship. And they usually meet them pretty early.

SPEAKER_08 58:36

Okay. Okay. Interesting. I got one for you. Okay. They are a 10, but they don't know they don't know bathroom etiquette. You need an example?

SPEAKER_02 58:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 58:45

Say, for example, shower curtain. Are you a shower curtain open or close person after you get out of the shower?

SPEAKER_02 58:50

Um, after I get out of the shower?

SPEAKER_08 58:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 58:52

I'll close it before I leave the bathroom.

SPEAKER_08 58:53

Okay, I agree with that. They leave the toy seat up.

SPEAKER_02 58:56

That's just an annoyance.

SPEAKER_08 58:57

That's that's what I'm saying. This is the rating. Depends how much it is. They leave toothpaste residue in the sink. They don't refill the toilet paper, leave the cotton the cotton, the deal staying on there.

SPEAKER_02 59:09

Yeah. Okay, so they're a ten and they do all these things. They're probably a four.

SPEAKER_08 59:12

Yeah. I think it is a zero. Probably a four.

SPEAKER_02 59:15

Like if it's fixable, if it's teachable, then I'm willing to go through the process of that.

SPEAKER_08 59:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 59:20

So for this one, like I've been through the process of teaching and training, and they don't still do it.

SPEAKER_08 59:25

I have a caveat though. Okay. They don't want to change.

SPEAKER_02 59:28

Oh, zero. Total zero. Yeah. Yeah. So they're a three.

SPEAKER_05 59:32

Ooh, you start low. I like this.

SPEAKER_02 59:34

Okay, so they're a three. That's a good one. Right? But they check all of your future check mark. They have the same, they view their few their future and your future a lot.

SPEAKER_08 59:44

Okay. So they're a three. I forgot to say this at the beginning. When we're talking about ratings, we're talking about purely physical, or what are we including personality?

SPEAKER_02 59:52

We didn't discuss that.

SPEAKER_08 59:53

It's up to you. You can say.

SPEAKER_02 59:55

So this is a this is a physical rating. Okay. So that to you, they are a three. But they check your future check marks.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:03

Killer, demisexual. This is why I don't talk to everybody. This is why I live in my introvertism, because I've had that problem before.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:09

So they're not somebody you would pick up at a bar. There's not somebody that you would click left on on the internet. But in conversation and spending time around them socially, you realize that all of the things check, but they aren't somebody that you would that would initially catch your eye.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:24

Killing me! This is demisexual. I have to say 12. I have to say twelve. That's rude. This is why I don't talk to people. Because there's that initial attraction, and it's like And it's not there.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:36

But then everything else is.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:38

I've had the situation happen.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:39

I had to end it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:39

So do they become more attractive to you once everything else? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:43

Oh, demisexual, of course. What's yours?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:45

Me? If they're a three, but everything in the future, they'll probably go to like a seven or an eight. I would give them more of the chance to see if the attraction grows with the interest. Um, my experience tells me it does because I see them differently.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:00

Right. But then we go into defrayation and nothing changed after two.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:03

But then exactly. But then you have to get to that stage too.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:06

Oh God, you're killing me with Ugh! All right, one more each. Okay. Oh, I'm so I've had that happen. This is why I don't talk to people. It's like you're a cool person, I gotta talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:15

I have a physical one for you. I'll go next. Ready? Okay. They're an eight. Okay. Physically.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:21

All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:22

I mean, just like spot on, barely could change anything. But they chew with their mouth open. That's a two. Really?

SPEAKER_08 1:01:27

Yeah, I can't do that. I I I have people that do that, and it's like, I want to slap them across the face. I have friends that do that. Friends and family that do that. And it's like, are you serious? You're about to be 40 years, goddamn years old, and you're still chewing your fucking mouth open and talking. And talking.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:44

With the spittle. Yes.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:46

I'm watching the spittle and where it's hitting.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:48

Oh, that's so cool.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:50

And I'm counting how many times it happens.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:52

Oh, it's it's a no for me.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:53

It's a no?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:54

It's a no. It's a zero.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:56

It's like, how are we how are we in older people and you don't understand that eating with your mouth open? Oh God, that's so gross.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:02

That was a good one. That was a very good one. There you go. Okay. So as long as they just stand there and never eat around you, they're an eight.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:08

No, because I'm thinking about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:10

Because you know they do it.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:11

Yeah. It's like snoring. It's just not a thing. I can't do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:13

You would break up over something.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:15

I tell people beforehand. I tell people beforehand.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:17

Wait a minute. You would break up over something that they can't control.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:20

It depends on how bad it is, yeah. They can't control that. There's ways to control There's ways to control it. Okay, we're not going to get into this because yes, there's ways. But yeah, if I'm like, if if you're snoring, I'm going to give you a knee in the ass. I'm going to wake you up.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:31

All right, one more.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:31

You know I've done this in front of you.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:33

I know. So two more.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:34

Um okay. So I'm thinking I want to I can do another high one, but I want to do another one. I want to try to do a low one because that three got me. All right. So they're a five.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:43

Oh, middle of the room. I mean, looks or personality.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:46

We're doing looks. Okay, five. So average. So personality. I think personality is too complicated.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:51

Okay. So eh?

SPEAKER_08 1:02:52

Yeah. Okay. They're a five. I'm trying to get personal now.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:56

I know. You're trying to, I know. I love it.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:58

Um, but they're a um an extrovert that doesn't like to go out. But when they do, they're very sociable. But their preference is to stay in.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:09

So they would prefer if I gave them a choice, they would stay in. Yes, they don't want to do that. But if I got them out, they're like life of the party.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:15

Yeah, they don't want to meet friends, they don't want to go to the places that you usually go to.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:19

But if I get them out, they're the life of the party.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:21

They don't know. They don't want to do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:22

They don't want to do it. They're just an introvert.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:24

Yeah, but you met them and they were they were like the life of the party.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:27

Oh, but the oh, it was a mask. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:29

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:30

But I mean, why would they have been out and been the life of the party if they don't like going out and doing things?

SPEAKER_08 1:03:34

They've been single for six years and they wanted to get laid at some point. So they're afraid they can do it, but they don't want to do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:42

Zero. Zero. I'm too social.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:44

And so like so I some people de-stress by like staying home like they've peopled too much and they can't people anymore. And so to go and socialize compounds their peopling and they just can't do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:57

Where me, I I work a very people y job. I am talked at, talked to, talked with for solid hours out of my day. Yep. And so when I need to de-stress, it is it is relaxing for me to be in a sports bar watching a game, being around people doing something social. You know what I'm saying? It's relaxing to me to be at a pool hall with a group of people shooting pool, bullshitting, throwing darts, drinking a beer, eating some wings. Yep. Going to a Sunday, you know, football game and bar and doing that. It's going to a sporting event, watching a basketball game. To me, those are two totally different things, and it's relaxing for me. And now it's also relaxing for me to sit on the couch and hibernate and you know, eat your favorite snack, watch your favorite TV show, and not go anywhere all day. Like I've had enough, I need to reset, I'm gonna stay home. But on average, I enjoy being social.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:49

Yeah, see, for me, that would still be a five.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:51

It's it to meet again they never if they never do it though. Now, if it's one of those where it's like they're half and half, they would still be a five. Give me the option that we can do it, and then I understand days that we don't, because there are days that I don't.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:06

Yeah, this is the you can get them out, but you're forcing them to go out.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:10

No, I don't I don't I I'm not anybody's parent anymore. I it's not for me to force anybody to do anything. So you said a zero? Probably a zero because I couldn't deal with I couldn't deal with that. I mean, I have been in a relationship with an introvert. I have been in a relationship where where people was hard.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:27

But they could do it when they went out.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:29

They could do it if they knew they were going to. They could prepare to do it. And then even with all of the preparation, they would reach a threshold and hit their done point before I would hit mine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:40

Um but they did it well, like when you were watching them, they did it well.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:43

They did it well, and they interacted with the people that they wanted to interact with, and they enjoyed the people that they that they did enjoy, but it wasn't their thing. They were out because of me. So I've been in that relationship, I've been in that situation, and while we did have fun while we were out, it wasn't the same as somebody who enjoys socializing as much as you do.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:03

So you're not gonna do it anymore.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:04

And so I would not want to put myself in a situation where I was with somebody that I felt like their interactions with me like that were for I want them to want to be out, enjoying doing the things with me, just like I would want somebody to want to, if they were an extrovert, I would want and I needed to stay home. But see, that's where I'm weird like that. Like if I'm an introvert, if if they're an introvert and I'm the extrovert in that situation, if you don't want to go anywhere, you just have to be okay that I still do.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:33

Okay. What about if you're both extroverts but they don't want to do social events, a lot of your social event. They want to you know they go out and do stuff, but it's usually on their own.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:42

No. We have to have something in common. We have to be able to do some things or else why are we together? We don't have to do everything.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:48

But everything at at home is good.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:50

No.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:50

Because I'm still too social of a Yeah, you can go do social separately.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:54

But I why why would I no?

SPEAKER_08 1:06:56

Because everything at home is good. No good old dick doing all that stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:59

I mean, good dick's good dick, but not good enough to go through that.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:02

They all they're dynamics fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:04

No, it's not evidently not that good of dynamics fantastic.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:08

Yeah, sure. Good with intimacy, romance, and everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:12

Do all the different things.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:13

They can. Yes. But if they can't go out and enjoy being social with me, then no. They have to be able to appreciate that they can do their own things on their own and I can do my own things on my own, but there has to be things that we do together. And it has to be outside the home.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:26

See, uh, they would only lose like a point.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:28

So I I if I was having an introvert day, I'd be okay with them going and doing. Like, go get it out of your system, go have fun, tell me all about it when you get home. And you can be okay with me staying home. Now, if you really want to piss me off, tell me you want to stay home and I go do the thing and then you go do something.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:43

Well, my friend hit me up after you left. Child, please.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:46

My friend came into town randomly and they hit me up and wanted me to go out with them.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:51

Just don't let me find out afterwards. Communicate with me. Because if I come home and find out you're gone and I don't know why, ooh, we I don't know what phase that is, but no.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:01

Yeah, that's a no-go.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:03

That's a communication breakdown.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:05

But again, that's the relationship anarchy in solo poly. It's like, it's fine.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:09

Yeah, no problem with that.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:10

But yes, that was enjoyable.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:12

I like that game. Yes. We'll have to actually come up with once to like trip each other. That would be fun.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:16

But that that would do some that would have to do some pre-planning and some research beforehand. Okay. So this

Extroverts Introverts And Compatibility

SPEAKER_08 1:08:23

has been Around the Kinky Campfire. We're gonna load along because that was a fun game, so we'll probably delve back into that. I would definitely want to use that as an icebreaker. So you're free to take that, even though I didn't come up with it as like an icebreaker for something. Um, who am I? I remember. Who are you? This is Rue. And I'm Sir U. Come on, Liechtenstein. Rip Heath Leisure. We're just doing all the the dead people that we wish were still alive. Or Julius. This is around the kinky campfire. We do uh new sessions, new episodes every mostly second and fourth Thursday. Apparently, we're going to be talking about developmental phases and relationships at a later time, and I'm definitely going to talk about it myself. Pillow fort sessions every mostly first and third Thursdays. We put the episodes and everything. The podcast is on all major platforms. Come join us at the Instagram or Campfire Kinksters, all with the K's around the kinky campfire. Everything with K's. All the K's. And all the Ks.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:18

Can we not say that?

SPEAKER_08 1:09:19

Just two.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:21

Can we just please not say that?

SPEAKER_08 1:09:22

You could do an outro. You want to do the outro?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:24

No, but I just don't like that.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:26

Two K's. Two Ks. Oh my god. One case. Um, yeah, maybe I could do an outro. You can send me. Sue me. You can record it and send it to me and put it out there. Then we have to do it anymore.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:35

I just don't like that.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:36

Campfire Kinksters, Instagram. Let us know what you think, and I hope you've been enjoying the uh little sound bites now that we have uh we have Buzz Sprout to thank for the AI stuff and making sound bites and putting them on there. But for now, that is all.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:49

We'll talk to you next time. Goodbye.