A 2026 Self-Review On Relationships And Creative Work | S5 EP138

Half the year is gone, and I’m not letting 2026 blur by on autopilot. Around the Kinky Campfire turns into a midyear self-review where I lay out my real do’s and don’ts, the habits I’m retiring, and the goals I’m doubling down on. It’s honest, a little chaotic, and way more useful than a polished highlight reel.

I talk about relationships and the uncomfortable truth that some “messing with your partner” behavior can cross into emotional harm, even when you think it’s playful. I own the stuff I used to normalize, why a partner should feel like a safe space, and what it looks like to unlearn low-key abusive tactics that can hide inside culture and routine. If you care about communication, consent, and emotional safety in kink, BDSM, polyamory, or any relationship, this is the kind of reflection that actually changes outcomes.

Then we shift into the creator life: improv as communication training, hosting as a real passion, and the first time I got paid to host bingo. I also get real about money pressure, gas costs, burnout, overcommitting, and feeding the social media algorithm with shorts just to stay visible. That leads into a bigger question about fulfillment, motivation, and sleep: if you’re not doing what feeds your soul, your body notices.

I close with my ongoing beef with tech career certifications and test anxiety, plus a genuine ask: would you want me to stream live, take questions, and eventually teach more kink education through webinars and classes? Subscribe for Thursday audio and Friday video, share this with a friend who needs a midyear reset, and leave a review so more kampsters can find the show.

1/6/26

1/6/26

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Hey everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Around the Kinky Campfire. This is your exalted one. Oh my god, I think I've used that before. Anyways, your host, HH Julius Marquise, or just Julius, if you're feeling less fancy. And I'm here with another exciting episode here with you today on the campfire. I am going over my uh do's and don'ts for the year. Let's say that. Do's and don'ts list from the half of the year 2026. As half the year is officially over, actually, we're already in the second half, kind of sort of. We're like a month in pretty much. Uh well no, we officially are, yeah. Uh damn, I can't believe

Midyear Do’s And Don’ts Setup

SPEAKER_00 1:38

the time's passed by already that fast. Uh, we are here to do a little recap. So I get a little reflective. I'm gonna evaluate myself, give my own self a review for the first half of the year, how are we doing so far? This is definitely officially the first year, if y'all didn't catch the first couple episodes, where I've pretty much been uploading a new episode and a video episode every day this year. I'm trying to take this podcasting thing seriously, and I want to update y'all with the journey so far. This is not super entertaining. I don't know if y'all enjoy this. Most podcast people like it when the hosts or people, the regulars that come in are just kind of like talking about themselves and their own things. So I hope y'all enjoy this. So I just want to reflect. Reflection! But before we get into that, we are going to do our traditional ASMR five seconds. Um, we'll see how it is because it's fucking cold. There's a big chunk of ice sitting right here looking at me. So we'll see how long we last. Once again, we have the not sponsored Dr. Pepper No Sugar. Because we don't do diet, and it's from a can because we don't do bottles around here. Strawberries and cream, not sponsored. Delicious. Here we go. Three, two, one. Oh, okay. Not too bad, actually. When you have one chunk of ice versus a bunch of crust ice, it doesn't get as cold, I will say that. But teeth are sensitive, and I don't want to drink it all because the cup's not very big. That is my two-go cup, but it's not the

Cold ASMR And Campfire Ritual

SPEAKER_00 3:10

biggest cup in the world. Doesn't matter the size of the cup, it's the motion. I don't know. Alright, let's get back into it. I I kind of title this My Bad Habits, but I don't want to be that super negative. So we'll just say personal review of Julius Marquise on the record. I'm reviewing myself with no outside influence whatsoever, good or bad or indifferent, however that goes. Um, yeah. So my journey thus far is I know for the old time listeners, the old time campsters, uh, y'all know that I had uh an ex on here when I first started and a friend on here. Now we've dwittled them down to myself. It's been a couple years since I've had a long-term partner, I should say, uh girlfriend, boyfriend, then friend, all of those categories. And because and the reason,

Personal Review Without Outside Influence

SPEAKER_00 4:03

and the reason is because I wanted to do a better self-reflection of myself. Let's see. More specific answer is I wanted to do better with my learned long-term partner skills. I fucked up in the past, so I'm like, you know what? There's something I want. I finally got it. I was in a good position, and I wasn't ready for it. Let's just put it that way. I wasn't ready mentally, emotionally, and financially. Still working on that financial part. We're dwindling it down. And hopefully, one of these days, I mean, I'll get paid for doing this shit. Um, I enjoy it whether or not that's so that's like half a joke. I'll still do it even if I don't get paid, because I just enjoy doing this kind of thing and talking to y'all, even if you you know I don't have any direct contact with y'all. I'm literally looking at the camera and I'm hoping. I know I'm hoping people are listening. I hope more people listen. I know people are listening. Thank you for the people that download this thing because I can see y'all downloading. It's very good to see that 200 plus downloads on average over the last 30 days. It's just giving me hope. And then also the people that view the uh shorts, I can see those numbers as well. Um, but for right now, there's no I mean I'm doing this for free, free.com. And uh yeah, the the finances are doing it now. So I've been working on all those skills, and um also the main thing is that I am part of a culture where there was low-key abuse tactics, not physically, necessary, the emotional stuff, that happened in uh in relationships that I saw, and it's like ooh, not everybody sees that in a way that is not abusive, like I do. Like if you're just um messing with your partner, quote unquote, that is not something that um happens, I don't want to say normally, but it's not a good thing to do, okay? So look at me, look at my skin, okay. In my culture, cultures, it is totally fine to give your partner a hard time. And it's like not everybody feels that way. You shouldn't be doing that with a partner, should be a safe space to come to for your partner. You should be a safe place for your partner

Unlearning Harmful Relationship Habits

SPEAKER_00 6:01

or partners to come to and just feel relaxed. And it's like, ooh, maybe I shouldn't do that. Like, I'm a big fan of jump scares. I love it when it's a nice dark house and I got a partner that's scared of everything, and I surprise them coming out the room or the bathroom or something around the corner into the house and just literally have a wolf mask. Then it's pretty scary wolf mask, and I'll just greet them at the door with the wolf mask on and they'll scream and then fall down in a little puddle. I really enjoy doing that, but I'm not gonna do that anymore. I really want to, but I'm not going to. It's so much fun. I'm thinking of all the times where they're just like scared in the dark. Oh, so good. I won't do that anymore. I won't do that anymore. That is not good to do. Stop laughing. That's not good to do, people. And if you present in a way that's similar to me and you're doing it to people that are physically smaller than you, you are an evil person. Don't do that. I'm talking to you and I'm talking to my past self. That's not a good thing to do. But there were those little habits that I would do that I did not realize were abusive-ish. Let's just say that. And it's like, let's not do that with partners. So I had to go internally figure out why I did that, and then also stop doing those bad habits. So I really had a lot of those, even though I had long-term partners for many years, and this part perplexes me because I'm really just like the tism is strong because years in these relationships, and I still didn't like change these habits, just kind of like coasting or something, but I didn't realize how long that was. Also, you know, that whole COVID thing kind of sucked balls. We lost those years. It's been six years, people. Literally six years. We are fully into the sixth year since tasty. The sixth year since uh uh quarantine officially started. Can you believe that shit? Six years. I had long-term relationships during that quarantine, and it's like, holy shit. That was um that was a time and um kind of fucked those up. So yeah, had to get to do some reflection and finally back on the wagon. I can kind of tell the relationships have gotten better. Um, the quality of the relationships, I just know for myself, even though I should get a third opinion. Still looking for a psychiatrist. Um, because yeah, we'll see how that goes. That's a whole new journey that we were just kind of like progressing along slowly. But yeah, I had to do some reflection, and it's like the the struggle is real. I'm right there with you. Once again, I do not preach from a high tower looking down on y'all. I'm right in the muck with y'all. The reason I started this podcast is because I've been doing my own research and fucking up. I was like, some people had to be doing the same thing and need to know these things. Narcissism is strong. Uh yeah, so in the meantime, I've been doing improv. I've let y'all know about that. So that has been progressing steadily. I would like to get to a few monthly shows, and that progress is going well. I will say that improv, even if you don't get on the stage, actually helpful with your communication. So if you're a single person and you need a new social group, you can do improv for that, but also it just helps your communication skills, especially if you are a type of person that has to speak in front of people, like for work and stuff. And then also, if you want to have a good relationship, these are good skills to have in any relationship: friendship, romantic relationship, all the different ships. Um, so improv isn't just for the stage and being out in front of people, you can literally get better at communicating. All these skills, if you don't realize this, I'm telling you right now, I don't want to be an improv prophet, but that shit

Improv As A Communication Tool

SPEAKER_00 9:28

is helpful. I will tell you uh tell you that right now. I'm gonna tell you that right now, like five times. So it's interesting, and in the midst of that, I probably should be improving my adult career, but I don't want to do that. I want to do more of this shit. And if you heard the last episode when I was talking about naughty nullins and the stuff I fucked up on, education is definitely one of them. I'm gonna get paid for that shit rather than my adult career. And uh I want I want to work on that. And like if I get a new job at this point, I'm not gonna be able to do the more podcasting and um educating and improv stuff, so it's like I'm gonna be burnt out learning the new job for like three months or so. It's like fuck, I don't want to do that. I just want to do more shows and shit, like podcast shows and and live shows. It's like, uh, I'd rather be doing more of that. I I just did a little uh substitute bingo hosting um the other weekend, and it's like, ooh, that shit was good. Um that was great. I actually got paid for that. So it's like, ooh, first paid thing. All these infrarop shows I've done, this is like the first legit thing I got paid for. And it's like, now see, that's what I'm talking about. So I'd rather be doing that. Rather be doing that than um get a new get uh another uh adult job. That's really what I want to be doing. And I will tell y'all, and once again, appreciate y'all campsters downloading everything like that. It but doing stuff for free ain't actually free. So living in the red is something you do, even though you're doing it for free. So the people that download and you like, subscribe,

Hosting Gigs And Getting Paid

SPEAKER_00 11:05

and you share all this different things and view. If you are a double viewer, if you listen to the audio and the video on YouTube, thank you very much, especially for that. Doesn't do you know take much out of y'all. It's literally just like clicking a button, but it's very much appreciated as a content creator in general. That shit is very helpful. Uh okay, uh, so more specifically on the stage stuff is like I really love hosting. Like, it doesn't even need to be a physical stage. Like, I enjoy just doing this part right here. I'm hosting this stuff, and also go and check out the smart lovers of the podcast. Uh if you'd listen to all three, I really appreciate y'all. Um, yeah, that kind of stuff. And doing that, um, whether in live or on the video uh video chat is like great stuff, and then wearing all the different hats, uh just so much fun. I like it so much. So want to be doing more of that. Just wish getting paid a little bit more. Um, and that is not even like I want to be famous or anything, kind of paid, or rich, kind of paid. It's just literally the fact that I have to do the adult job to sustain life, but if it was getting paid at least enough to do the fun stuff, then I wouldn't need to worry, it's spent so much energy on the adult stuff, which would be amazing, because then I'd be able to do more of the fun stuff. That's literally all it is. I'm not expecting to like buy a mansion or anything with this shit. That's delusional. Um I would just be happy with a coffee or an adult beverage that I'm not drinking, YouTube. Uh let's see. Uh so yeah, I got to do the uh the bingo thing, which is another hosting event. Also, there's a place down the road for me where I can just volunteer to host stuff. So if I have the energy, I'm gonna do that as well. See how that goes. But it's like if I'm getting paid to do bingo, that's hosting. I don't volunteer to do hosting. I might as well get paid to do hosting, which is the bingo. So there is that.

unknown 12:52

Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

So many life decisions made. I'm just glad I have those decisions. So it's not like I'm griping about having the decisions, I'm just happy that I have the decisions, but then it's like which one do I want to do? Because there's this analysis paralysis thing that some of the TISM folks have, and it's like getting burnt out on having to make decisions. Somebody tell me what to do, that's the most fun thing. That I won't have any regrets about. That'd be nice. Okay, and then also with this um the schedule thing is which is interesting, is I have to hold back on the fun stuff because, like I said, I want to have uh more monthly shows, and it's like if that fills up my schedule and I overcommit myself, I would hate, hate, hate if I had to cancel a show

Schedule Limits And Algorithm Pressure

SPEAKER_00 13:39

because I have too much on my plate. So I really don't want to do that. So I'm holding back on some stuff just in case, and that is a very weird feeling that I've had for 2026 um pretty much this whole entire year, because I've been focusing on the um shorts forum stuff and the sh in the social media stuff. If y'all haven't uh subscribed on there, also thank you, and I'm sorry, because it's just like uh berating y'all with like shorts uh stuff just to get the word out there and pump up the algorithm because that's what we gotta do. Um, that beast of a piece of shit that is out there, you have no idea what it's thinking, but you gotta like sacrifice stuff for it. It's bullshit. Um, yeah. So I'm trying to hold back and not fill the schedule up too much. And it's like all these extra opportunities. I I want to go audition and try out for all the different things, but it's like, ooh, I might not be able to commit to like every weekend for two months. That's just uh not feasible right now. But I was like, damn it, your project's interesting, and I want to try it, but I don't have time. Uh, bull crap. So I gotta try to save it for the stuff that will sustain life. Let's just say that. I just want to say about getting paid because then it makes it seem like I'm about the money, and that's not really what it is. I just want to be give me gas money and shit. That's the problem. Gas is four fucking dollars pretty much. That's ridiculous, and like driving 30 minutes to an hour or somewhere for a gig could be costly. So, yeah, that's a thing as well. Okay, uh, let's see. Another part of it too, half of the focus is on like motivation and fulfillment, because if y'all don't know, for like insomnia purposes and getting good sleep, a lot of it is because you're not feeling fulfilled. Just to let y'all know. So if you tossing and turning, it's probably because you ain't doing shit you're supposed to be doing, should be doing. Fulfills your soul. I got some flaming my throat. So, yeah, just keep that in mind. I uh I am that is what I'm focusing on because that drives my motivation, is figuring out what gives me fulfillment. I want to have a good sleep at night and be able to be more energetic to go to conventions all day and not drain myself. Uh I've been trying to learn certain things for a while now, and I finally like picked it up. I'm still like

Fulfillment, Sleep, And Skill Building

SPEAKER_00 15:51

stuck in my year two high school Spanish level. I have not progressed in a couple of decades. So, like that little nitpicky thing is like, damn it, I'm gonna be able to progress towards that. I have been picking up like the piano and um looping, uh pre-recorded looping and also live looping, learning how to do that stuff uh with the DAW and the MIDI and all those different things, and just learning my scales and inversions and chords and everything on the piano. But yeah, Spanish is just fuck it. Working on improv skills and the hosting skills have been focused on that specifically. So Spanish is going to say fuck it. I will say, listen, here people that don't know, and this is a hundred percent of bias on my part. I can say that because I'm the Asian, I'm an Asian Mexican. Uh Mexico, I'm part of the Mexican country of Asia, aka the Philippines. So I get mistaken for being Hispanic all the time. So I can say this stuff as somebody that gets mistaken as being Hispanic all the time. Um there's different like ranks in in the Spanish culture. If y'all didn't know, um individual countries are are like ranking each other, or have there's like um uh uh a caste system uh or as far as that's concerned, and then also uh having more Hispanic friends, I'm realizing that it's not just uh outside the Hispanic community versus inside. Like if you don't know enough Spanish and your Spanish doesn't sound good enough, it's like people just look at you all funny and they just kind of treat you horribly, and it's like what the fuck is that bullshit? So yeah, I don't like that shit. So that's another reason why I'm not really like deep in Spanish, because you assholes just like kind of like look now. Oh, you don't know Spanish? It's like you're okay. I have a certain opinion about that, and I'm not gonna say that's funny. You the one com one opinion you're not gonna get from old Julius. Oh boy. Okay, so speaking of adult job, moving on. Uh in my particular career, it is good for continuing education to come in form of certifications. Um I don't want to do that shit. I've been doing studying for the same test for like six months and just like not going and taking it. I have like the test anxiety type thing. Like, I'm good if I'm just doing practice tests and I'm studying, but as soon as you put that timer on, put me in a room where it's like fucking locked down in uh solitary confinement. If y'all don't know about that crap, like they literally put you in a room with nothing in your hand, like no cell phone, obviously. I mean, can't be attached to a cell phone because that's technically cheating. But to make you take your like your wallet and your keys, put it in a locker, all that kind of bullshit, and then like a camera's like watching you and you can't make a whole lot of noise because then they flag you for that. There's literally a monitor in the room,

Certification Anxiety And Tech Ladder Fatigue

SPEAKER_00 18:26

like a person monitoring the room as well. So you have camera and a monitor in the room. They take this shit so fucking seriously, and it's like it's a fucking certification that some bullshit company, fucking Google or Apple, kind of like deem that oh, this certification is gonna get you're gonna be a gateway for you, you get thousands of dollars a year. And it's like that whole fucking escalator ladder bullshit that they have. I'm so over that crap. That's another reason why I don't really care about the I don't want to say I don't care about the adult job. I like my job, but progressing up the ladder. Is that's what's stopping me is these stupid ass certifications that you get paid like a couple hundred dollars for, and that deems you worthy to get more money annually. It's like it's the same bullshit over and over again. They just slap a different name on there. So dumb. Um Amazon this versus Google that. It's like it's the same information, they just stole it from the people that um came up with the test in the first place. Like, and they are like going out of business. It's so crazy. Yeah, it's bull crap like that. AI this and AI that, but then I'm like, in my fun jobs, I'm supposed to stay away from AI. So I'm like learning about AI to like stay away from it. It's a whole corporate thing. If y'all don't know about the technology career, it's like that kind of bullshit over and over again. Uh, yeah, so I want to focus more on the skills practice, the piano, and the looping, and then um just improv in general, and I still have not started my stand-up um uh career, my stand-up journey, career, and uh yeah, I want to focus more on that stuff. So fuck the certification study, and I want to still study this piano, that kind of thing. So, yeah, there, that kind of stuff would be kind of cool. Let me know if y'all would be interested. I just took a tangent here. If y'all would be interested, nobody's emailed me or anything, let me know in the comments, um YouTube comments and the Spotify comments, wherever it is. If y'all would be interested in me doing uh streaming, I just talk bullshit. There is a streaming site if y'all don't know, joystick TV, where you can do adult streaming, which is where I would feel very comfortable in. And if you want me to stream like once a week or once a month, let me know. I literally will just talk about all the alternative stuff live, and y'all can like chat in or send in questions. I'll answer it on the stream, maybe play a game or two. I particularly like side-scrolling beat-em-ups, and I can just like talk my ass off while playing those kind of things, or we can just like play a video. I can give you a live review on like a kink um YouTube

Streaming, Webinars, And Kink Education Plans

SPEAKER_00 20:48

video or like what I've done before, uh that kind of stuff, or on like a podcast review and related to like kinky stuff and uh polyamory stuff. Let me know in the comments if you would want to see something like that. I don't know if that would be a good idea or not. Uh okay, and then I already talked about stage skills, still working on that. Want to be hosting all the different kinds of things. So if you see me putting stuff out on the social medias and like, ooh, stage, this is what Julius looks like when he's hosting. Yes, that will be out there. I would like to plan events. So, specifically, uh talking about uh naughty knowledge and the stuff that educators are getting paid for. There's like primal stuff and electro stuff and like just kink stuff in general. I would love, love, love to be able to do more like a webinar or something, or something that people can come to if you are interested in learning from old Julius Marquis here. So I need to figure out something with that. So let me know again and email me or in the in the comment section, let me know. And then uh, yeah, I want to do more classes, get paid for the classes. I don't know. That sounds so horrible. I want to be sustained by these classes, so I can do more classes. I just want to go to all the conventions because I am the convention expert. Labeled myself that the last time, I'm gonna keep that going. So I just want to be able to do that, teach, host shows, and just keep doing that in all the different conventions, and just I would make my name known for that, Julius Marquise, that kind of thing. Alright, so that's pretty much it. I'm not gonna go over time like I did last time, but that is my recap for 2026, halfway through, a month, a month over halfway through. And I hope you all enjoyed the journey so far. Please uh keep rooting for me. We are gonna keep uploading two episodes a week. No, two times of the same episodes in a week for the rest of the year. Let's just say that audio and video, Thursday and Friday. That's where those news episodes are. Thursday's audio, Friday's the video, or the same episode. I'm not saying two episodes, they're two different oh god, two different episodes a week. That'd just be too much. But that is what I want to do, okay? For the rest of the year. Hopefully, we can keep going strong. Technically, we've done that so far. We'll just skip last the weeks ago. We'll just we'll just forget about that. I was resting from naughty New Orleans and picking picking back

Upload Schedule And Year-End Intentions

SPEAKER_00 23:00

up for the rest of the year. All right, that's it for now. Thank you for listening to this self review of Julius Marquise reviewing himself. And I am Julius Marquise, the host of Around the Kinky Campfire Thursdays, Fridays. I already said that part. I will catch you next time. Hello.