Finding Joy in Singleness over Holidays: DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS, PRIORITIZE YOUR HAPPINESS!!!

Think about the holidays. What comes to mind? Love, warmth, joy, and the company of loved ones, right? But what if you're single or don't have a supportive family or friend circle? I'm  here to tell you - it's okay. This episode is all about finding joy and comfort during the holiday season, regardless of your relationship status or familial situation. I  share personal experiences and insights, emphasizing the need for self-love and self-care, and reminding you that it's absolutely fine to prioritize your happiness and well-being. 

Ever felt pressured to be in a relationship, especially during the festive season? You're not alone. I dive into the importance of avoiding desperation and the trap of settling for less in relationships. I talk about embracing singleness, avoiding comparison, and focusing on self-growth. Additionally, I explore the significant role of protecting your energy and happiness, particularly from toxic family members or friends. Remember, you're more than your current circumstances and there's great power in personal fulfillment. Listen in and let this episode serve as your comforting and empowering reminder.

Chapters

• 0:00 Joyful Holidays as a Single
• 3:31 Avoid Desperation and Settling in Relationships
• 10:16 Normalize Protecting Your Energy and Happiness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Year singles. I know this holiday season it could be the most joyous time of the year, but for a lot of us it can also be the hardest, toughest, saddest time of the year. I know we be around so many families and some of us don't even have families like that and if we do, some of our families are toxic. I know a lot of us don't have like a big, healthy support system, like we around people that may not even be healthy for us, but I know this time of the year can be very sad because some of us may lose a loved one, some of us may lose a job, some of us don't have families that make us feel celebrated, make us feel appreciated. Some of us are just single and we don't have a family, we don't have a big circle group of friends. So I know some of us are really, really going through it and I just want to say that, whether you're single, whether you don't have a happy family, whether you don't have a good support system, it's okay to be by yourself, it's okay to take yourself out, it's okay to take yourself to the movies, to take yourself out to eat, it's okay to do things that you love. Just because you're single, just because you don't have a support system, just because you don't have a family, a big family, just because you don't have, you know, good friends around you, does not mean that the situation and your circumstances could rob the joy from your holiday. Whatever it is that you're going through, because we are all going through something. This is my favorite time of the year, but it is also the hardest time of the year for me, too, because, as much as I be so happy, I always have moments of just breaking down and being emotional. Not all of us have that family unit that we all want. Not all of us come from a healthy, supportive household. A lot of us are in difficult situations. A lot of us are in different difficult circumstances, but I just wanted to say that, whatever it is that you're going through, whatever it is that you're pushing through, keep pushing. Don't give up. If you're going through hell, do not stay in hell. Just keep going, keep moving forward. Learn to treat yourself, learn to love yourself a little bit more, learn to be a little bit more kinder to yourself. Take yourself out, you know. Buy yourself a gift. Do things that you love to do. I know if some of you guys like to walk, walk to Times Square, walk to see trees, walk to see tree lights. You know, do something that you love to do.

Speaker 1: 2:18

Don't get discouraged because it's the holidays and you're single and you don't have a happy family and you don't have, you know, supportive friends, you don't have good connections around you. Like, do things that you want to do by yourself first, before you know you even attract that certain relationship into your life Before you even attract certain friendships into your life. You got to learn how to be happy by yourself, and I know it's so hard to be by yourself, I know it's so lonely, but what I've learned is that I rather be by myself and be okay than be around bad company and feel lonely and feel miserable. I've been around people that I had to cut off last year because I just felt like the vibes were just so bad it was just robbing me from joy. Every time I was around these people it was just so painful. Even if you're living in a toxic household and you're not really getting along with your family or you're not really getting along with your roommates, don't try to stay there. Try to think bigger than where you are right now. You know, like don't think that you are your circumstances, like this is just part of your story, but this is not your book, this is just a page in your chapter. But this is not your end, all be all. You are more then where you at right now. You got to just get your mind out of the gutter.

Speaker 1: 3:31

Now for the single people who are single and want a relationship, this time of the year, a lot of people just be desperate. Don't be desperate. Don't jump into a relationship just to say that you have somebody just because you want to be with anybody who's for everybody. Like, if you're single right now, please just stay single until you attract exactly what you really want. Don't be in a relationship just because it's the holiday season. Don't get into a relationship because you are way too tired, you're way too impatient, you're way too lonely to just wait for the right person to come, especially during this holiday season. People are just shacking up, people are just spending time together because it's the holiday season, but a lot of people who settle for less. Don't invest your time into someone and you know they're not gonna make you happy. Don't invest your time into someone and you know they're not for you. You know they're not aligned with who you are.

Speaker 1: 4:23

I know it's Christmas time and people get desperate. And people they just want to take holidays photos with someone. People want to go on these Christmas dates with someone. But you know what? If you have a sister, if you have a friend, if you have kids, do it with them. And if you are by yourself, do it by yourself. Go drive and go see Christmas lights by yourself, go get hot chocolate by yourself, go listen to your favorite Christmas music.

Speaker 1: 4:46

If you are single right now, this season of your life, stop being desperate and just jumping into another relationship or settling with someone just to say that you have somebody. I see people do this all the time and it's so sad. Having a man for a lot of you ladies, having a man is the easiest thing in this world to have. It's so easy to get a man, but getting the right one that's hard and that's what you should be focusing on attracting the right person into your life. Don't just be in a relationship and then, six months down the road, four months down the road, you're invested and you know you made a bad decision and now you can't get out of it because that's even harder to heal from this season. It just brings out a lot of desperate and it brings out a lot of temptation. This is the season where you be tempted to do things that you wouldn't normally do, or you be tempted to do things that you know you shouldn't do. It's easy to say if we know better, we do better, but sometimes we know better, we just don't do better. And this is a reminder for y'all who are watching this content and who are single and who is probably lonely and who can't really get through the holidays. Just keep pushing. You're getting through it. The fact that you're waking up every single day God put you on the wake up list the fact that you're watching this content, it's a reminder, it's a symbol to keep going.

Speaker 1: 6:03

Don't involve yourself into something that you know you're not gonna be happy because it's not fair to you and it's not fair for the other person. Don't be too impatient. When you're too impatient and you're constantly just jumping from relationship to relationship, you're only gonna do yourself more damage than good. In the long run, you're not gonna attract the love of your life. I know it's hard being single and I know it's rough out here and I know the dating world sucks. But I rather be by myself and be okay than be with someone that I know I'm gonna be miserable with than be with someone I know I'm going to hurt and be with someone I'm not happy with. I wouldn't do that to myself. No, I wouldn't do that to the other person.

Speaker 1: 6:42

Your single season is to build you up. Your single season is to mold you. There's a reason why you're single right now. If it's because you're too impatient, if it's because you're desperate, if it's because you just be settling for less, that's the reason why you're single and you're gonna keep on being single. If you keep on dating these kind of people that you don't really wanna be with, or because you're desperate, you're going to keep on being single. The pattern is going to keep on repeating. So if you're single right now, focus on yourself. Stand on business. Stop settling for less. You gotta believe that there's better out there for you. You gotta believe that there's greater for you.

Speaker 1: 7:18

Just because you see family members and just because you see your friends shacking up, being happy and they so-called relationship, don't even let that phase you, because you don't know what other people are going through behind closed doors. People are so quick enough to be like oh yeah, we're happy, we're good, our relationship is perfect, our relationship is marriage, and I'm not saying it's bad. I'm not saying that their relationship is really bad. But you don't know what they're going through. Your time will come.

Speaker 1: 7:44

Whenever y'all see families and whenever y'all see couples together, always put in your mind like I'm next, I'm next, I'm next to get my blessing, I'm next to get my happiness. But if you're mine, you're thinking from a low vibration like oh, I hate the holidays, I'm always by myself, I'm always single, I'm always around toxic families. That's the energy that you're gonna keep on getting. That's the energy that you're gonna keep on involving yourself into Focus on you. You start praying, do what makes you happy. So what if you're by yourself? I'm single, I get coffee by myself. I like to drive by myself, I like to put holiday music by myself. I like to journal, like, figure out what you wanna do and just embrace it.

Speaker 1: 8:24

If your household is too toxic, then get out of your household, you know. Go do things by yourself. Get your mind off things. You know. Remind yourself that you're bigger than your consequences. Remind yourself that you're bigger than where you at right now and slowly but surely, things will fall into place for you. And also, if you got toxic family members and you got toxic ass friends, don't be around them. Because it's the holidays.

Speaker 1: 8:49

I feel like we're living in a world where it's so normalized to be around fake family and fake friends just because it's a holiday, just because it's an event, just because it's a celebration. I would rather be by myself and be at peace and have a peace of mind and be calm than be around fake people. What good is it when I'm around fake ass people? It does not stimulate my growth, it's just bad energy, it's just bad vibes. And let me tell you something when you're around toxic fake people, you start to become just like them. You start to become the people that you surround yourself with. So if you're in a relationship and your partner is negative and he's just very mean spirited and he's a narcissist and he's everything that's no good for you, he's everything that's no good for himself, or she's everything that she's not good for herself she's gossip, she loves drama, she engages in negativity you start to become just like them.

Speaker 1: 9:45

Get around fake people. Get away from fake people, get away from fake friends Just because it's a holiday, it's just because it's that season of your life, it does not mean that you have to engage. I'm all about breaking generational curse. I'm all about breaking generational trauma and I refuse to engage in things that does not make me happy, that does not bring me peace in my life, that does not do anything good for me, for my daughter, a lot of people that y'all are with. They don't stimulate your growth, they hurt your growth, they poison your mindset. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 10:16

Like get away from these kind of people. I don't care if it's family. A lot of family does a lot of betray. A lot of your family be fake. Normalize, just protecting your energy. Normalize protecting your peace. Normalize trying to be happy by yourself before you being codependent, trying to be happy with someone else. And I'm gonna leave it as that. But I hope this content could at least resonate with one of y'all and if it did, please like, comment and subscribe and I'll be back for more videos. I'll see you guys next time. We'll see you guys next time.