Betrayal's Heavy Toll: WHY FORGIVING A CHEATER MAY COST YOU MORE THAN YOU EXPECT!!!

Imagine you had the power to see the true cost of a betrayal before ever deciding to forgive. Sadly, I'm not gifted with such foresight, but in our latest episode, I do the next best thing. I tap into the painful reality of relationships scarred by infidelity, discussing not just the emotional price one pays, but how it can shatter self-worth and dissolve trust. With raw personal stories and unflinching honesty, we dissect the all-too-common misbelief that surviving cheating can somehow cement a stronger bond, showing instead how it often leads to a destructive cycle of repeated offenses and an erosion of respect.

Chapters

• 0:00 Consequences of Taking Back a Cheater
• 4:18 The Impact of Cheating in Relationships
• 7:46 Protecting Your Health in Relationships

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:00

Ladies and gentlemen, this content is for ladies and men, especially ladies. This is why I strongly feel you should never, ever take a cheater back. I know this time everyone is spinning the block and everyone is trying to get back with their exes or everyone is letting their exes back in. But I don't ever believe that you should get back with your exes, especially if there was infidelity, especially if there was a lot of cheating, lying and manipulating. Now I'm going to tell you why you should never take a cheater back. Number one is because once you forgive a cheater, you're giving them the chance to cheat on you again. Study shows that once you keep forgiving a cheater, it is a more likely chance, it is a high likely possibility that they are going to continue to cheat on you again. And I know for some people, for some relationships, you will think, well, cheating made us stronger. I don't understand how cheating makes you stronger. It honestly makes you weaker. How are you able to trust that person again? You're only giving them the chance to do it again Once someone keeps on cheating on you because I've done it and I've had it done to me when I was cheating on my ex. Every time that he forgave me. I became more desensitized to cheating on him because I knew he would always forgive me. Some of your exes know that y'all are going to forgive them. They all know that they don't even have to give you change behavior. All they got to do is have a sorry ass apology, come with crocodile tears, maybe buy you some gifts. At the end of the day, cheating is cheating. You lose your trust. They broke your trust. It's going to be so much harder for you to trust them. It's going to be so much harder for you to sleep at night because now your thoughts are wondering if they out there doing it again. You can't even trust them the same anymore and I feel like it takes so much hard work for you to build that trust, for you to build what. The relationship that you guys had before Twice as harder than it was the first time, when you never thought that they were cheating on you, when you thought that they were faithful. It is so much harder to rebuild broken trust, to rebuild a broken heart, to heal from infidelity. I don't ever think that you should take a cheater back. From my perspective, when I took a cheater back, I was never happy. When I took him back. I was happy for a moment. I was happy temporarily because, yay, we was working on the relationship. But deep down I was not happy. Every single argument me and him had the infidelity, the cheating, was always brought up. I was always quick to throw it in his face because they always made me feel better. They always made me feel like the victim and it made him feel like the villain. Every time me and him argue, I always felt like I was winning Me. I was becoming so toxic to the point where I wanted to hurt him so bad as much as he hurted me.

Speaker 0: 2:38

I don't think cheating makes the relationship stronger. I think it actually makes you weaker. Before you was trusting him, before, you felt like it was a safe place, and now you're not acting from a safe place in your relationship. You're acting from survival mode. It's like you're almost in shock, like your whole world is turned upside down. You see things differently. You see him or you see her differently. It's not the same anymore. You questioned the relationship. Was this real? When I was cheating before on one of my relationships? I've done it two times to him. The reason why I kept doing it is because I knew in the back of my mind that he was going to forgive me. I knew that I was going to get away with it.

Speaker 0: 3:17

Sometimes, when people cheat especially if you're dealing with a narcissist he's not sorry or she is not sorry for cheating. They're just sorry because they got caught. And once you forgive them and once they manipulate you and once they say a couple of sweet words and they show up with crocodile tears and they change for a week or two, they're going to go right back to the same behavior. Because you keep allowing it, ladies and men, especially ladies a man will treat you the way you allow him to treat you. If you think that cheating is okay, he's going to keep on cheating on you. He's going to become more desensitized and if you keep on accepting it and you keep on tolerating it, it almost becomes numb to you, some part of you. It becomes normal, like this is normal him cheating, him disrespecting me, him lying to me, him hurting me, him betraying me. And you start to have low self-esteem and you start to change and you don't even notice that you're changing, but it's within you. You start to become so numb to the situation that you start to lose who you are. So when you stay with the cheater.

Speaker 0: 4:18

I'm not saying for every single relationship that is not worth working it out. But for me, if I get cheated on in any of my relationships, moving forward of my life right now, I'm not forgiving and I'm not staying with the cheater, I'm leaving. There's too many people out in this world for me to settle down with someone who's going to cheat on me, because once you cheat on me, the trust is gone. I can't even look at you the same anymore because you're telling me you love me, you respect me, you want to be with me, but you're out here doing reckless behavior. And then another thing for you, especially ladies if you're out here getting cheated on, please be careful because there's some men out here that will give you STDs, they will give you a transmitted disease or infection and they're going to put your body and your health at risk.

Speaker 0: 5:02

I know people that this happened to and this really breaks my heart. I know a woman that she got married and she was with her husband and he was a cheater and she would always take him back, always take him back, not because she wanted to, but it just felt normal to her. It felt every time that he cheated on her. The pain felt more and more, less less painful to her because it became normal to her. At this point she was just kind of used to the cheating, like she couldn't really help it and she wanted to stay with him because she has kids with him. But he gave her an uncurable, untreatable disease. And that's just so messed up, especially that you doing that to your wife, if you're doing that to a girl that you say that you love, that true respect, and you out here sleeping with other women raw and you come back and you giving her a disease, that is just something you can never, ever come back from.

Speaker 0: 5:50

Ladies, you got to protect yourself, and men ladies do this too. But some women out here will have a good guy with them. They know that the guy is good, but because they're used to that toxic drama, they're used to a guy being more aggressive, they're used to a guy being like the bad guy. Some women are used to like the bad boy behavior. They will have the good guy as the main guy and then they will have what they want on the side and they're cheating and that's just so wrong. So, ladies and gentlemen, yeah, both got to be careful.

Speaker 0: 6:20

Cheating is not a joke and it's not something that should be normalized. If you know you have to cheat, if you know you want to cheat, back out from your relationship and the relationship, don't stay with that person, because it's not fair to that other person when there's so much better out here and there's so many people out here that will love you, that will show you where real love is, where respect is. Don't settle for someone that's going to keep on hurting you, manipulating you, disrespecting you, because once you forgive a cheater, just know there's a high probability that he or she is going to do it again. And just because you're married, that does not mean that the marriage changed. The only thing that changed is that you got a ring on your finger and your last name changes. That's the only thing that changed and the government is involved. But just because you married to someone and you forgave them after cheating on you does not mean that they won't do it again. I just don't believe that you could ever come back from me. I don't. I don't believe it.

Speaker 0: 7:14

I remember when I was in a relationship and I was getting cheated on like I didn't even like him. I didn't even like who he was. I did not like who he was and what did I do? I started doing the same thing right back to him and me. I was just so dumb and immature I should have just left him, but I was doing the same thing back. The only thing is he was so sneaky about it. I was so open about it, like I wanted him to catch me cheating because I really really strongly disliked who he was and I wanted him to feel how I felt because I felt so betrayed.

Speaker 0: 7:46

But I think it's even more messed up and it's more dangerous when y'all are accepting that someone is cheating on you and they're going outside and they're sleeping around and they're doing God knows what with God knows who and they're coming back and sleeping with true raw. Yeah, I really got to protect y'all body parts. Yeah, I got to protect y'all health. People out here are catching diseases. That is very uncurable, untreatable, and you don't want to mess up your life for a relationship for someone that says I'm sorry, it's just that I'm sorry, it's not enough anymore. The being in love is not enough. The loving that person is not enough. The history is not enough. Don't let history keep you in the misery. And that is my thoughts on that and if you like this video, please like comment and subscribe and I'll be back from our video. Also, share your thoughts down below.