SIGNS YOUR FRIENDS/ FAMILY SECRETLY HATE YOU!!!!

Ever noticed a shift in the air when you share good news with a friend, only for their congratulations to seem a little less than genuine? It's as if you can almost hear the unspoken "but..." lingering in their response. That's the tangled web of jealousy and competition we're pulling apart, layer by nuanced layer, in our latest episode. I'll guide you through the murky waters of envy in friendships, spotlighting the sometimes imperceptible signs that a friend might begrudge your successes. From the sting of backhanded compliments to the schadenfreude lurking beneath their sympathy during your tough times, we're putting the spotlight on these uncomfortable realities, backed by personal accounts that hit close to home.

Chapters

• 0:00 Signs of Jealousy in Friendships
• 9:12 Gatekeeping and Fostering Success

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:00

So these are signs that your friends are not your friends and they are secretly jealous of you. So sign number one is when your friends are just giving you a hard time giving you a compliment or praising you. Like you guys ever walked into a birthday party or an event and everyone was like oh my god, you look so nice. That friend, that one specific friend, is just like oh, I have that dress, oh, I have that outfit. I was wearing that outfit the other day. I was killing it.

Speaker 0: 0:30

She can't give you a compliment, but she know everyone else is giving you a compliment because she knows, genuinely, privately, you look really nice. She just doesn't want to give you a compliment because she's just an insecure person. She makes the whole topic, she makes the whole moment all about her. It kills her to say something nice to you. That's how you know you got a friend that don't like you and is jealous of you and you got to be careful with these kind of friends because they are dangerous. They're the ones who always have secret animosity towards you. I hated it when I would walk into a room and I would tell my friend like oh my god, you look so cute, you look so nice and she'll be like, right, thank you. And like it would kill her. It would kill her to say something so nice to me or to uplift me or to encourage me, but then, when everyone else is doing it around me, she just changes the topic so fast, like you guys ever been in a room where people would be like, oh my god, you look so nice, you look so pretty today, and like she would change the topic so fast. And you ask her like hey, do you think I look nice in this office? And she's like, yeah, so anyways, like she just changes the topic so fast. That's how you know that person do not like you, that person don't want the best for you, that person don't have good intentions for you and they secretly hate in on you.

Speaker 0: 1:41

Number two when you are at your rock bottom, you guys are bonding more, you guys are laughing more, you guys are smiling more. Isn't it weird that when we go through tough things in our life, especially adversity or challenge, your friend or your family member really bonds with you more? Like, let's say, you just got out of a breakup and you're crying to your friend or you crying to your relative and they're just listening to you. They are so entertained by your misery. They are so entertained by your downfall. They're giving you that little pep talk oh yeah, you're going to be fine. I told you this was going to happen. You should have listened to me. You should have taken my advice. This is what happens when you never listened to me and when you are at your lowest moment, you guys are bonding more. Like you feel like you guys are so much closer because that friend or that relative or that family member, they are very intrigued by your misery. They're very intrigued by your drama. They are entertained that you are at your lowest point.

Speaker 0: 2:40

Imagine you are at your lowest point and someone is just constantly there for you. Like, how are you feeling now? Are you still crying? Are you still miserable? Are you still crying about that dude? Are you mad because your mom threw you out? Like, they're constantly like kind of throwing it in your face and they're checking up on you consistently, you know, just to see if you're still crying, if you're still failing, if you're still at your lowest low.

Speaker 0: 3:03

Now, when you start climbing to the top, when you start getting out of your rock bottom and you start getting over that breakup and you start getting that new job and you losing weight and you doing good for yourself, your friend is like looking at you a little bit funny, like, oh, you acting a little bit weird. Now you switching up, like why are you not calling me anymore, why are you not really around me anymore? And you trying to just do better for yourself and you trying to level up, you trying to heal, you trying to grow from your lows, and your friend is literally like getting pissed off because she sees you're not vulnerable, you're not in a dark place anymore, so your success is threatening her. Y'all friendship feels so good. Y'all feel like y'all are so close when you're doing that. But when you're doing good and you starting to get stronger, you starting to heal from anything that hurts you or puts you down, she sees it like a threat. She sees it like, oh, you're changing up, oh, you think that you're better than her. Like, oh, now you acting weird, now you acting funny because you got a new job, because you got a new man, or something like that. Like those are the kind of friends that they do not like you, they don't want what's best for you and they secretly hating on you. So I'm gonna give you another example of that.

Speaker 0: 4:09

I remember when I was in high school I was bawling my eyes out of my first boyfriend and I had a feeling that my closest friend at that moment, she had like a low key crush on him, because every time me and him would argue, she would always take his side in front of my face, but privately she would be on my side, which I always thought that was kind of weird. I always thought that was kind of funny. But I remember like I would always cry, she'll just let me cry and then she'll be like okay, okay, let's do something else, let's just forget about it. She would do it in a harsh way and then I remember like I was getting over the breakup and at this point in my life, like that ex he was already moved on to another girl. She will always throw that new relationship in my face. She'll be like, oh, but he moved on to this girl, she's pretty, she got a job.

Speaker 0: 4:53

Like she would always throw that in my face and I'm like what kind of friend would do that? Like, what kind of friend would throw like my hurt, my pain, in my face? Like that, because I'm healing from my relationship, what gives you the right to throw that in my face? And that's how you know you got friends in your life or you got family in your life that they don't like you. They don't want what's best for you, because if they're quick to see you doing better and you're healing and you're not bothered by the BS no more but they want to throw that same hurt in your face. That's how you know they hate and know of you. That's how you know you got a friend in me, in your face and you got to really watch out.

Speaker 0: 5:29

Pay attention to the sign, sis. Another sign you got friends that do not like you or they're just secretly hating off you is yeah, ever for ladies, because this content is really for ladies. So, yeah, ever like like the guy and all of a sudden, like you bring this guy kind of around your friends and your friends will do anything to like embarrass you in front of him. So, for example, they will bring up something that privately happened between you and your friends at a private time. They will bring it up in front of his face so they can embarrass you. So, for example, I remember when I was dating someone and I was in large friend groups, they did not all want the best for me. But when I would bring my guy over, they would bring up the time where I picked my nose in the bathroom or the time I was throwing up in the sleepover, like you, just not bringing up the time like I was throwing up at a sleepover because I got drunk. Make it make sense. This is how you know. This is exactly what I'm talking about, ladies.

Speaker 0: 6:21

Let's say, you bring the guy you're dating or the guy that you like around, your friends or your relatives. They'd be like girl, there's something on your teeth, there's something in your hair. Like, go fix your hair, go fix your teeth, you got something in your teeth. Why would you embarrass me like that? Why would you embarrass your friend like that? If that's really your friend or that's someone you really love and someone you really respect, you know you will give them the eye, you will give them the code like you know. Like going to the bathroom, let's clean up. But you wouldn't be like, oh, you got something in your teeth, or you got something in your hair, there's something on your pants. You wouldn't do something like that just to try to embarrass her, just to make the energy in the room.

Speaker 0: 6:56

I'm all about you now making fun of your friend. One, that's bullying. Two, it's not funny. And three, you just a hater. You just a hater because a real friend, a real family member, a real person will never embarrass you like that, will never make anyone make you feel low. A real friend in your corner will never try to make you feel low, especially in front of someone that you like or someone that you're dating. A real person is gonna be like, oh, let's go to the bathroom real quick. And they're gonna tell you like, oh, fix your hair, fix your teeth, something. But for you to just do that so loud and obnoxious. Now I know you just a hater. Now I know you just wanna embarrass me and make fun of me and make this guy not like me and make this guy look at me some type of way. So, ladies, just be careful because sometimes the jealousy isn't them jokes, it be in those hidden jokes and you gotta catch on and you gotta pee game real fast.

Speaker 0: 7:47

Another sign you got people around you that do not like you, that are secretly hating off you, is when you got goals, when you got visions, when you wanna level up in your life, when you wanna elevate. You got people that just be like oh you're bougie. Like, why you think like that? Humble yourself, maybe you should humble yourself a little bit. Or you think you're better than everyone else? Like, maybe you should humble yourself. And it's like when you have people like that in your circle one, you're not bougie. Number two you should never humble yourself.

Speaker 0: 8:15

The reason why they saying that is because they're projecting their own insecurity onto you. They gave up on their dreams, they gave up on their vision. So of course it's gonna irritate them when they see you trying to do better, when you got big goals, when you got big visions. That's why you always gotta keep your goals to yourself. Keep it very silent. Don't tell anyone, because the next person is not gonna believe in your vision the way you believe in it. That vision wasn't put on them. That vision was put on you, especially when you got people that they just want to stay stagnant and they don't want to do better for themselves and they are okay being mediocre. Don't ever tell them your goals. Don't ever tell them your vision, because they want you at the same level that they are at. If they're living paycheck to paycheck, if they're collecting food stamps, that's exactly where they want you. They don't want you to grow. They don't want you to do better. This is how you know you got people that really don't like you. So when they see opportunities that are for you but they don't even want to tell you about it, they keep it quiet.

Speaker 0: 9:12

For example, let's say some of you guys are into modeling or you guys are into podcasts. If they see opportunities on social media or in their college or in their school or in their workplace, they're not going to put you on. They're not going to put you on. They're going to keep it to themselves because they don't want your success to surpass their goals. They don't want your success to be better than theirs.

Speaker 0: 9:34

They don't want you to flourish. That's what it is, especially without them. They do not want you to flourish. They do not want you in your highest element. They don't want you doing bigger things for yourself. Real friends, real family is going to put you on. Those that gate keep it's because they know you got the potential to do so much better. They know that you got the potential to rise, to elevate, to become the highest version of yourself, and they don't want you to have that attention. So if they are gate keeping opportunities from you, it's because they really do not want the best for you. To my girlies that watch this content please like, comment and subscribe, and I'll be back for more videos.